This analysis delves into the complex psychology of Tyrion Lannister, exploring how his physical condition, societal treatment, and familial relationships shape his internal conflict between seeking validation and embracing a monstrous persona, ultimately examining his journey towards revenge and self-acceptance.
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i wish
i was the monster you think i am
i wish i had enough poison for the whole
pack of you i would gladly give my life
to watch you all swallow it [Music]
[Music]
tyrion lannister is a complicated
character with a lot of iconic quotes i
think his first great quote from the
books and the show alike is actually his
advice to jon snow a proud young man who
can't stand being called a bastard
despite his typical mocking attitude
tyrion tells him never forget what you are
are
the rest of the world will not
wear it like armor
and it can never be used to hatch why am
i starting the video straight off with
this it's because it is in a way
brilliant advice for jon snow or for
anyone depending on the situation and
how exactly you interpret that quote to
the extent just googling the quote comes
up with endless different articles and
blog posts people have written about the
wisdom of the quote
business insider psychology today geek
wisdom so on and i find it kind of
hilarious because false all these
articles are definitely partly correct
this advice and worldview also underpins
pretty much everything that goes wrong
for tyrion in the books it's an attitude
that kind of cements his own downfall
we'll get to that later though i am a
therapist i have made tons of videos
analyzing the psychology and behavior of
characters in the past recently i did a
video on tywin lannister now we're
talking about tyrion who is much more
complicated i think to discuss due to
the fact he is completely different in
the books to how he is in the show for
which i'm going to focus this video much
more on the book version but it should
still be understandable if you only know
the show just you need to know that
going in though as ever please add your
own thoughts in the comments things i
miss out and everything because there is
so much to try and fit into a single
video and that's the best thing about
youtube comments how they can add to a
video but yeah apart from that let's get going
[Music]
let's start with the blindingly obvious
shall we um tyrion is a dwarf in a world
that looks down on dwarfs like they are
some wretched creatures to
either ridicule or be disgusted by he is
humiliated shamed dehumanized simply for
who he is made much worse by the fact
his father adds even more shame and disgust
disgust
blaming him for the death of tyrion's
own mother joanna and seeing him as the
bane to tywin's pride when other people
treat you like someone disgusting or
tell you you're a vile creature it's very
very
very hard not to end up at least partly
feeling that about yourself and i don't
just mean ugliness there but also
badness and ugliness not just of
appearance but of who he is inside the
two are kind of scenes of reflection of
each other here people tend to say when
we are seen as bad or treated as bad
that we end up becoming bad ourselves
and i think i'm paraphrasing a much more
eloquent quote there but um i don't
think that's entirely true i don't think
we become
bad whatever bad even means that's a
question of its own i don't think people
necessarily do but they are given a very
big internal pressure that can then push
them in that direction because you do
end up with this doubting voice in your
head saying what if everybody is right
about me what if tywin is right what if
i am horrible what if it is my fault my
mum died what if the gods made me a
dwarf as punishment for how vile i truly
am doubts that might be particularly
strong in childhood as well but
tyrion's a rational man he
rationally knows some people are just
dwarf it's not realistically a
punishment that's just how the world
happens to be rationally i think he
knows his dad is also
pretty horrible i'd say
that his dad is unfair to treat him the
way he does and he might
logically understand that but it doesn't
remove the part of him that also feels
the opposite if understanding something
rationally was enough to heal therapy
would be very easy you'd just tell
someone it's not your fault and that
would be the end of it you know it might
be good to tell someone that but it
doesn't resolve everything the point is
what do you do when you've grown up
partly believing you might be a bad
person whatever you take that to mean i
think that depends on you unable to win
your family's approval here impossible
for anyone to possibly love you someone
who makes the world a worse place part
of you then might naturally want to
fight against that idea and prove no i'm
not a monster so you might be keen to
help out a wayward jon snow which itself
is interesting in how he helps him
partly offering kindly advice and
generally looking out for him but also
partly taunting and insulting him at the
same time which i guess is in a very
small way getting to do both things at
once help and also project his own
humiliated feelings onto another and
he's very keen to make a saddle for bran
enjoying how he proves rob stark's
mistrustful opinions of him wrong i
think generally you can even say the way
tyrion deliberately sets himself apart
from his family the rational part of him
that says i'm not the monster my father
is if anyone my scheming evil sister i
am a good person who actually cares
about the weak and so by setting himself
up as completely different to him he can
project all the negative feelings back
their way they are horrible to people he
is kind i can even be kind
kindness is not a habit with us
lannisters i fear but i know i have some somewhere
somewhere
and so he's quite keen to be different
in lots of ways they'll be proud and
dignified lannisters so i'll spend my
time in brothels and taverns instead that's
that's
i guess it's even spending time in the
complete opposite places to them i'll go
off talking to the bastard of winterfell
or exploring the wall arguably there
could be a part of him thinking
it's also these highborn noble lords and
ladies that look down on me the most
that make me stick out like a sore thumb
in contrast to them so i'll spend my
time with the lowborn instead the [ __ ]
and cutthroats the people where i look
less out of place although actually also
the people where he gets to be one above
them at the same time due to his riches
and title in fact we'll get to that
generally though a side of tyrion
deliberately setting himself apart and
probably relishing in how he can rebel
against his father that way tywin
doesn't want me sleeping with [ __ ] so
i'll do exactly that there's two issues
with all of this though the first one is
that tyrion says he chose to help bran
because i pretend to spot my heart
cripples bastards and broken things the
thing is there's a difference between
empathy and pity i suppose and when i
look at a lot of tyrion's kindly actions
i sometimes wonder if he leans more
towards pity than genuine empathy i
don't know you might disagree with this
empathy is about having deep compassion
and feeling for how someone else feels
pity is more about feeling sorry it's
about having an understanding of how
someone else feels and perhaps feeling
bad for them but not actually feeling
their emotions yourself i think it also
can sometimes come with a power element
to it as well where in feeling sorry for
them they're placed lower down than you
i'm so sorry you're struggling with this
bad thing that i'm not struggling with
and i'm so much better than you know i
kind of wonder if we get that with
tyrion perhaps hence his eagerness to
torn jon snow even as he helps him it
all makes him feel higher up than this
bastard boy or this crippled bran but i
think in a dance with dragons he largely
pities the dwarf penny without ever
truly understanding her strengths i
guess he kind of does but when tyrion
has a tender spot in his heart for the
weak the suffering exploited the
vulnerable it is because he knows how it
feels to be vulnerable and humiliated
yes but not because he wants to truly
help them grow beyond those feelings so
much as projects that side of himself
onto them getting to them both feel
better than them but also getting to
feel good for helping them getting to
partly feel like he's helping and
symbolically healing himself through the
healing of another i guess not truly
healing but the satisfactory illusion of
it i can talk more about that point if
it's not clear ask me in the comments um
the other issue though with this side of
tyrion trying to do good trying to prove
not just to the world but also
critically to himself that he isn't a
monster in fact i think when you factor
in how his father has often stated he
wanted tyrion dead it's also probably a
quest to prove to himself that he
deserves to exist which is awful um you
get in a clash of kings
tyrion's attempt to become
the hero
partly there are arguments against this
statement that will become important
later on but while tywin is off
nobody burning innocent civilians to
death he names tyrion to be hand of the
king in his dead why tyrion tywin says
it's because you're my son which is his
usual manipulation to partly
secretarianism but i think it's largely
because tywin does know tyrion possesses
useful abilities
that his relationship with both joffrey
and cersei already means he's not just
gonna be a yes man to them and also i
think tywin believes that once he does
return to king's landing he'll easily be
able to sweep away any power tyrion
might have amassed in his absence either
way tyrion has temporary but very real
power with which he plans the defense of
king's landing against the invaders he
saves the city he even leads to charge
himself of a rallying cry he is in many
ways certainly from his perspective the
hero of king's landing and even the
motivations he talks about in the books
are going to king's landing to do
justice rather than all the scheming of
others you know he'll beat them at their
own scheming game sure but he'll do it
for justice such as replacing jello
slint for killing babies and in his
feverish state after the battle of black
water he dreams of a celebratory feast
where he's hailed as the hero his dad is
even smiling with approval at him and
quite naturally tyrion's main hopes and
motivations are the wish to be accepted
by this world he's born into not to be
demonized by the highborn to win their
approval to be accepted by his father
this is what he wants if tyrion doesn't
like feeling like the monster all the
time there's a limit to how much of a
difference it can make by just doing
small kind acts and showing pity to
those more vulnerable or broken as he
puts it than him that's not going to
change wide of people's perception of
him tyrion wants a greater external
validation from others
of course he wants his father's approval
the tragedy however is that even in that
moment where he believes he has been
hero proved he's the total opposite of
the monster even then he wins no
approval at all no one's opinion of him
changes the effect this all has on
tyrion this rejection here is
i should be clear it's not just that
tyrion does something heroic in his eyes
and doesn't win approval or acceptance
for it it's that
he does something heroic then is left
alone to heal in a lonely chamber his
father takes all the credit takes back
the tower of the hands the power
reaffirms his disgust for his son all
the allies tyrion built up and king's
landing start to disappear he is blamed
for a murder he didn't commit for which
his father may or may not be intending
to have him executed his lover turns
against him and nobody at all speaks out
on his behalf that is as big as
rejection ever gets
everybody has rejected you your family
your lover your allies and the society
as a whole tyrion tried to be the hero
and was met with people wishing his
death that must hurt a lot and
to begin with tyrion is a bit defeated
here impotent might even be the word
you'd use especially in the context of
his own father taking away all his power
to which i do think a good addition in
the show is this scene between elena and
tyrion where she tells him i was told
you were drunk impertinent and
thoroughly divorced
you can imagine my disappointment at
finding nothing but a brow-beaten
bookkeeper i love the reaction on
tyrion's face there it's a great
addition to the show that underpins
tyrion's emotional state perfectly right
now even his famous wits are left
largely speechless against elena tyrell
here tyrion in himself feels reduced to
nothing you know as much as david and
dan did some horrendous stuff with the
story later on when they still had
decent guidelines around them and
probably weren't burnt out working on it
for so long without getting the sense to
really have anyone else to come in and
help them when they had all that they
were capable of adding some pretty good
written scenes but yeah tyrion in
himself feels reduced to nothing here
until he gets pushed too far where he
explodes wonderfully in the trial partly
really because tywin just can't help his
added need to humiliate others
particularly his son by bringing in shay
and turning her deliberately against him
he's just got to add that extra
humiliation hasn't he i suppose i take
all of this slow journey from failed heroics
heroics
long-suffering defeatism then this
bitter explosion of revenge as tyrion
giving up on not being the monster i
think that's quite a
simple poetic literary based and
psychology-based way to put it all in
but it's worth saying anyway um instead
just embracing the role fully if this is
what they see me as
regardless of what i do if i can't
change their that opinion then screw it
i'll become that monster i'll own it
i'll haunt them in revenge
teach them what happens when you treat
someone good as a monster this is their
doing i'm going to gather them for it
you know which is a way of twisting it
all on his head and a way of giving him
a huge feeling of power the total
opposite of impotence no wonder this
change is so appealing to him what's
more there's a a certain kind of
liberation i think most villains would
feel or even talk about in certain
stories when they just let go of what
society expects them what their own
conscience expects and choose instead to
fight against it basically i'm going to
be that monster and get the satisfaction
of having my revenge against all of them
and also absolve myself with the guilt
with the idea that they have made me
into this you know in the show tyrion
though comes out of all of this trial as
still basically a good person which
makes his outburst there feel a little
sudden and extreme in the books though i
think he is a villain and i think he's
set to become increasingly
brutal and villain villain-ish villainous
villainous
once he meets daenerys he could be
perhaps a very bitter voice in her ear
that will feed the more extreme brutal
sides of her character he might be the
one to bring that out of her but we do
have to recognize that tyrion has been
bitter and vengeful already he has spent
a childhood dreaming of killing both his
sister and his father in book one he
plots to reduce the veil to ash in
revenge against lice that are arresting
him he stamps on the singer marillion's
hands breaking all his fingers just
because he makes fun of tyrion when
maester paracel shares his secret to the
queen he has his clansmen scare him to
the point of wetting himself threatening
to castrate him before shaving off his
famous beard stripping him of his title
and throwing him into a cell he
humiliated lancel various others and
generally cannot contain himself from
making many
angry extreme threatened people most
obviously in threatening to geld the king
king [Music]
[Music]
then you'll be [ __ ] your own bride
with a wooden [ __ ]
or telling sir say all her joys will
turn to ash they will come
when you think you're safe and happy and
your joy will turn to ashes in your
mouth a very angry vengeful side bursts
out of tyrion when he feels slighted
aside at complete odds with the
supposedly composed calm empathetic
witty joker i think we can draw two
things from all of this one is that
tyrion cannot stand laughter any better
than tywin can which is unsurprising you
know not only would he have grown up
inheriting tywin's belief that being
laughed at is a great insult and a sign
of your weakness and it all needs to be
crushed but tyrion would have also been
forced to endure a horrendous amount of
humiliation for being a dwarf for
supposedly killing his mother when she
died in childbirth there's even the
theory that tyrion is actually the child
of king heiress and tywin's wife joanna
which i don't think is going to be true
but there's certainly enough suspicion
that tywin might have partly worried
that was the case and that would add to
his disdain for tyrion all of it makes
humiliation a horrible horrible
experience to prevent at all possible costs
costs
for which
yes a lot of the time tyrion tries to
outwit others in response that's his
strength he can't
intimidate people physically really but
he can turn mockery back on them that
feels good that makes him feel powerful
instead of powerless my mind is a weapon
my brother has his sword king robert has
his warhammer and i have my mind the
problem is our wetting people doesn't
stop them say the way tywin's death
stare and brutal history would make
anyone too afraid to laugh at him openly
outwitting someone might shut them up in
the short term but it will also leave
them angered
eager to retaliate somehow they'll keep
trying to one-up his great wits hence no
amount of smarts or slabs stop joffrey
from relishing a chance to try and
humiliate tyrion but sure he might be
able to run rings around joffrey
verbally and others but it won't stop
them dumbly repeatedly calling him in
and when being called impurge tyrion
he'll want to do more to stop that
completely hence the rage of course
tyrion grew up with a hell of a lot of
anger the only way you wouldn't growing
up in his situation was if it was all
suppressed into an empty numbness or
that kind of defeated impotency that
we've already seen i suspect his
drinking also makes the rage worse as
does his father as much as i said tyrion
wanted to be the hero as hand of the
king to earn approval and validation
really much more than that he wanted to
lord it over people who have looked down
on him he wanted power over this world
of the highborn the dwarf the monster
the one they laughed at but now i hold
it all the power the city the girl this
is what i was made for and gods forgive
me but i do love it
he wants power in a way that is very
similar to what i talked about with
tywin in his video but just suddenly
different tywin wants power to build up
this image of himself and to deny anyone
the opportunity to ridicule and poke
holes in that image tyrion wants power
yes to stop people ridiculing him but
also for the very
personal pleasure of having power over
these people i think there's a stronger
element of revenge there revenge not
just against individuals like uh
marillion who mocked him or leicester
who imprisoned him but also this general
society that does or he imagines to look
down on him this general society he
projects onto as a faceless bullying
enemy that's and because it does very
much build up his ego to feel like the
brilliant schemer one step ahead of
everybody hence how he's constantly
telling himself how brilliant a job he's
doing to the extent he doesn't really
notice any of his mistakes anyway this
was the second point to draw out the
side of tyrion that wants to be more
like tywin people generally fear tywin
the way tyrion wants to be feared himself
himself
why because tywin dials his aggression
up to 100 whenever his ego is wounded and
and
obliterates his enemies so
tyrion tries to do the same the example
of threatening cersei that all her joys
will turn to ash is the perfect example
she has taken aliye her captive who she
thinks is tyrion's mistress at the time
and she's done it because she thinks
tyrion is deliberately trying to hurt
her and send her sons away she doesn't
actually have tyrion's mistress shay so
it's not a great worry for him here all
tyrion has to do was tell sir say that
was not his intention he has to talk to
her try working with his sister ease
this rivalry here but he doesn't like
being slighted and he wants to be the
all-powerful tywin who is in command of
all interactions so
he resorts to aggressive threats instead
he does nothing to dissuade cersei's
paranoia even though that would be good
for him he does nothing because he
relishes the chance to hurt her and to
try and make her fear him i think the
sibling rivalry between all three
lannisters is fascinating but i think it
would be better to talk about that in a
video on cersei in particular so we'll
leave that for there unlike taiwan these
threats don't work for tyrion
why well for one he is a dwarf who isn't
physically intimidating um all his
threats kind of just reaffirm people's
belief that he's this vile wretched
creature he's also no lord with true
power alongside which despite his
successes and battles he's never going
to be a battle commander that could for
example um reduce a whole castle to
ruins or flood one and deliver on his
threat so clearly in that way and the
rest of his behavior the drinking the
women the lack of loyal allies to rally
to his side can just make his threats
look a bit small and ridiculous even
when they might not necessarily be in
that sense the rage the vengeful sides
the part of him that gives into this
monster rather than fights against it was
was
always there his change doesn't come
from nowhere of course tyrion growing up
has been left with rage and bitterness
and i should say trauma which may inform
his explosive responses people then
react to that as though it proves he's a
monster which will again then make him
feel even more doomed to this image
people have thrust onto him whilst it's
certainly not inevitable he'll become
that and i certainly don't like the
phrase that the abused becomes the
abuser because he doesn't have to be
things might actually have gone quite
differently for him in this story for
now there was another reason for me
mentioning this more vengeful side of
tyrion it's because at his trial where
he is condemned for the murder of
joffrey that he obviously didn't commit
he declares i'm guilty of being a dwarf
you are not on trial for being a dwarf oh
oh
yes i am the reason everyone is against
him everyone wants him dead despite the
good he has done despite the role he has
played as the hero
is because he's a dwarf that certainly
makes him a far easier target for other
people's projection yes but it's not
entirely true either [Music]
[Music]
so this is a section of the video that i
could have easily just titled despite
the show consistently telling you tyrion
is the smartest person in westeros
whilst also showing through his foolish
actions that he's the exact opposite
a tyrion in the books was never actually
meant to be seen as that smart to begin
with it's a very snappy title
it's all to say that tyrion spends his
time as hands of the king feeling very
smug about his accomplishments seeing
himself as a brilliant schemer who's
unmatched in his ability to play the
game all the while varys and
littlefinger are kind of running rings
around him but tyrion does do a lot of
clever scheming things to get ahead he
replaces janos slint as head of the city
watch not for justice really but because
he wants someone he's in charge of as
head of the city watch rather than
someone in his sister's pocket which is
also why he throws pycelle in the
dungeons why he tries to get lancel
lannister to spy for him and various
other changes he does a lot of it in
clever ways he gets people like bronn
with other sellswords on his side and
the clansmen and it all amasses him a
great deal of power
temporarily we see often that tyrion has
a tendency to turn to mercenaries for
support it makes sense because tyrion
has access to vast wealth and he's not
the jaime lannister sword he might be
able to inspire loyalty not readily
anyway tyrion would have to spend a huge
amount of time over the course of his
life building up a very good reputation
for himself showing people a nobler side
to himself let's say and even then it's
going to be difficult buying sell swords
are much simpler also i just think emotionally
emotionally
tyrion likes sellswords because it's
straightforward he knows exactly what
they want and therefore knows exactly
how to keep them on his side it doesn't
require complex manipulation and favor
and all sorts else which i think is
similar to what we see with women here
tyrion turns to sex workers because he
doesn't truly believe anyone would
actually love him he seeks out this half
illusion of love in that sense it's
unsurprising that he likewise turns to
sell swords for friends or at least
allies so that is true but self swords
also have the massive disadvantage that
they can be easily put aside and holds
no true loyalty to tyrion as much as
bronn likes tyrion he won't fight for
him as his champion against gregor
clegane tywin cleverly makes brun a
knight giving him more than tyrion
himself can give him more so though all
of tyrion's threats his vengeful acts
and eagerness to humiliate others the
way he has been humiliated in the past
that all creates a hell of a lot of
enemies pythal becomes his enemy to even
very petty degrees here like
deliberately dropping a scroll his
attempts with lancel don't really work
and make another possible enemy joffrey
despises him due to tyrion's treatment
of him cersei also hates him and as i
said tyrion does nothing to dissuade her
paranoia and
rivalry whilst he may never have gotten
on well with these people they didn't
necessarily need to bear a burning
resentment towards him such a resentment
that of course they speak against him at
his trial of course no one speaks on his
behalf sure it's still a farcical
trial but that's politics anyone's going
to use anything they can against their
enemies when they get the chance
tyrion gives them so much ammunition to
do so um in that sense i think tyrion
ends up on trial as much for his own
actions as for being a dwarf the only
true friend he has left by the end of
this trial is his brother jamie and it
doesn't take long for tyrion to burn
that bridge too [Music]
[Music]
i talked a bit about the story of taisha
in my video on tywin it's a dramatic
experience for both taisha and tyrion and
and
i can only imagine what tyrion must feel
about it which is what i'm going to do
imagine what tyrion must feel about it um
um
a lowborn girl he married living two
weeks of loving bliss until his father
found out had jamie tell tyrion she was
the sex worker who never actually loved
him before
tywin forced tyrion to watch her be
passed between all of his guards
then back to tyrion
forced to have sex with her again in
front of them only this time obviously
very little love tyrion felt incredibly
humiliated and angry at his father about
this i don't need to even say that of
course he did he probably also felt
stupid and ashamed of himself as though
thinking obviously taisha didn't love me
of course jaime had paid her to pretend
how could i be so stupid he might have
felt embarrassed for believing her and
being so vulnerable with her when it was
a trick which then might have turned to
anger towards taisha herself that
feeling that she'd tricked him it might
not have done but that's certainly
possible tyrion might have felt angry at
himself for believing it was love and it
all would have been an experience to
tell him
nobody will ever love you it's not
possible you're a fool for even wanting
to believe it don't believe in love
although of course it means more than
that to tyrion it's not just believing
in love it's believing in the idea that
someone can accept him for who he is
believing that he's
deserving of existence of love of being
there that's a huge amount of feeling
and emotional weight to place on a
relationship with another person but of
course you know and i wonder if this
explains part of his controlling nature
towards shay she is quite a capable girl
who challenges him particularly in the
show but in the books tyrion slaps her
he is a bit more controlling and whilst
he does eventually decides to marry her
off for her own safety it takes him
a great deal longer to come to that decision
decision
rather than the noble act of trying to
get a free in the show if nobody will
ever truly love him as much as he tries
to convince himself that shea loves him
in the book she never does but he so
tries to convince himself because he
desperately wants to believe
despite that he can't quite trust her
and wants to keep her close and controlled
controlled
but i imagine more than anything the
taishi experience left tyrion with a
mass amount of guilt
guilt for two possible things one being
that if he hadn't foolishly married her
she'd never have suffered such horrible
trauma the second guilt is that if a
side of tyrion did hate taisha probably
unconsciously hated her for the
experience whilst
also still loving her at the same time
perhaps he even chose to hate her
despair himself missing her quite as
much it would seem all his feelings are
a conflicted muddled mess of lots of
things love anger sadness hatreds embarrassment
embarrassment
shame but if a side of him did hate or
even feel anger towards tysha how
intensely guilty that then must have
left him when he eventually found out
that she wasn't a sex worker that she
did genuinely love tyrion jaime had just
been forced to lie under tywin's orders
finding out that means he'd spent years
upon years feeling anger towards the
only person who ever loved him years
upon years not searching for her
condemning her memory it's an intense
guilt it's then unsurprising how he
flips to the complete opposites
idealizing taisha to the absolute max as
though to make up for his previous anger
probably also out of a desperate hope to
go back to the way things were and also
probably a level of splitting between
his two big relationships with women
taisha is the idealized good one shea is
the bad one who betrayed him and drew
out his murderous rage and absolute
split between the two there the thing i
find perfect for tyrion's story is the
introduction of penny in that sense a
dwarf just like him for which they built
up a level of friendship however tyrion
has no interest in anything further he's
got this idealized image of taisha to
chase instead and he just prefers to
keep her
as someone to pity someone i think it
seems like he's increasingly becoming
harsh and dismissive towards although we
have to wait for winds of winter to
actually be released before we can know
for sure at the very least she reflects
tyrion's split feelings here between
someone good to partly admire i think he
does sort of admire her and then also
the side of her that reminds him of shay
and draws out his anger that makes it
all very difficult for tyrion to truly
get close not necessarily romantically
either taisha i guess in that sense is
the closest thing tyrion ever had to a
good female role model because he never
knew his mum and cersei was certainly
not a good example as an older sister
shea in the end betrays him um who else
has there been despite some flaws i
think penny could have a positive effect
on tyrion i think that's possible i
think she shows his potential to
possibly change for the good she is not
chained to her pride and insecurities
like tyrion she is not compelled to say
what she likes to people the way tyrion
can't help mocking and leads himself
into trouble she could really give him
the chance to come to terms with who he
is as a dwarf and a person not hating
himself for it but i think his feelings
of women are too um
that's not what the word is troubled i
guess to really let her have an effect
on his heart again not necessarily romantically
romantically
plus instead he has this idealized dream
of taisha who even if he found her again
would not
be able to pick up where they left off
probably i expect she'd want nothing to
do with him but they only knew each
other for two weeks as much as i say she
might have been a good female role model
that's no time at all perhaps that's me
even putting a load of idealization onto
her based on tyrion's idealization maybe
i'm getting caught up in his thoughts
there um tyrion likes penny but he
doesn't truly want to be like penny i
guess you can say even now he still
wants to be like tywin perhaps in the
same way tywin doesn't want to think he
is anything like tyrion tyrion doesn't
want to think he is like penny i don't
know um i need to re-read their scenes
to think about that more let me know
i said the advice to make your weakness
your armor was kind of at the heart of
tyrion's downfall or dissent anyway
such advice could be good if it meant
recognizing the strengths within your
weaknesses accepting them for that and
trying to build on it most weaknesses
are also a strength in many ways
for tyrion though it seems to more mean
shielding himself against the rejection
not even just fronting that you don't
care about people's insults which can be
okay but needing a real armor to defend
yourself in a way that just teaches you
the dwarfism is something he should feel
bad about is something he needs to
deeply defend against i hope that makes
sense it's quite the subtle but
important difference many rejections he
has suffered consistently across his
life to the point he quite
understandably struggles to bear it anymore
anymore
how do you go on then trying your
absolute hardest to be a good person to
set yourself apart from your family to
be accepted by the world as someone
noble and worthy of belonging
if your every painstaking attempt to do
so only leads to further crushing
rejection that's incredibly hard so he
forged a lot of shields and armor
fronting his humor twisting mockery back
on others being as lowly and gruesome as
he said to be in his drinking and
rudeness and endless sex not that it is
necessarily gruesome but that's how it
seemed you know i suspect even his very
impulsive need for pleasures are a
defense of their own too and then also
being more of that monstrous image in
the darker crueler sense of the word
yeah i am that monster so what that
sense of liberation i talked about
freeing yourself from having to care
about who you are in a way that doesn't
actually free you so much as just
suppress your resentment about yourself
by embracing the person he's accused of
being he shuts himself off from the
projection but also
at no point really comes to terms with
himself it doesn't resolve the burning
part of tyrion that hates himself for
not being tall for not being someone
that people wouldn't be able to vilify
which is why penny is a great example of
the very difficult but better journey he
could take towards something slightly
happier what we do know anyway is a
stage performance area watches of
westeros with a very devious
stereotypical image of tyrion taking
stage a version of tyrion that fails to
show all of the humanity at his center
that we've come to know and like him for
yet also paints a stark image of the
sort of person he is becoming which here
could feel like a good place to conclude
the video but there's more i want to say
this video has already been quite
haphazard and all over the place which
can happen when you're talking about a person
person
a character
because people themselves are haphazards
and a bits all over the place if you're
honing someone down to a clear defining
point you're probably missing something
you know
all the same this video may be about to
get even more haphazard
well it's quite different methods um
arming yourself against your
vulnerabilities is exactly what tywin
does tyrion takes on that lesson and it
leaves him massively conflicted
throughout the story on the one hand he
hates his father for the way he treats
tyrion he hates his sister for the way
she treats him and the general world of
the high born too the general word of
everyone i guess he's a child who dreams
of owning a dragon who would start fires
deep below casterly rock and pretend he
was a lost targaryen prince with his own
dragon a boy who just wishes he belonged
to a different family i think a very
common wish children can have such as
the sort of story harry potter taps into
which i talked about in my wish
fulfillment video here you know i don't
seem to fit in with his family i don't
much like them or want to fit in
necessarily either with the exception of
jamie and my uncle they seem horrible
i'll dream of some other family where i
do actually belong maybe i'm just here
as a mistake maybe i'll find there's
another family that wants me or maybe
i'll find him a targaryen the greatest
family of all and i'll end up being
revered the lannisters would have to
look up to me then rather than the other
way around wanting to have an identity
set apart from this house lannister
where he doesn't belong and partly
doesn't want to belong either and part
of this hatred then fuels vengeance he
imagines burning his father and his
sister with dragonfire he enjoys
enraging his sister feeding her hurt and
paranoia even when it leads to bad
consequences for him just as he enjoys
mocking his father knowing full well how
his father hates mockery it's the best
revenge he's able to really exact an impulsive
impulsive
flip and throw of wit which also makes
tywin feel a little less scary in his
eyes i suspect when tyrion is afraid of
tywin particularly when he was young
finding ways to mock his father would
ease some of that fear make tywin seem a
little less towering and impossibly
powerful until eventually that is tyrion
realizes he doesn't have to fear him he
can kill him that actually tywin is just
as flawed and hypocritical and exactly
like tyrion himself which i'll get on to
in a second so yeah on the one hand he
hates his family and wants revenge shame
as he wants revenge against this general
society when he can't exact revenge on
his powerful father or even directly his
sister he exacts it on weaker targets
like janos slint and pycelle and then on
the other hand he wants his father's
approval which also makes sense if tywin
is the central figure for all of this
shame and humiliation that tyrion is
made to feel and
you obviously hate tywin 4 making you
feel that winning his approval would
make all the shame come to an end it
would not just remove it but also
somewhat resolve
all of the paths tyrion was put through
or at least be imagined to resolve and
stop it so he's caught in this weird
space of hating tywin but also feeling
dependent upon him desperate to win his
affection hence his eagerness to learn
from tywin and try to emulate him if my
father could see just how much i'm
actually like tywin maybe then he'll
love me except in tywin's case he
probably wouldn't the more tyrion is
like him the more it horrifies tywin to
be confronted with who he actually is
himself therefore the more he needs to
resist that realization which ultimately
means tyrion can't win there being like
his father doesn't work and he's also
too dependent to actually just break
away helpfully in a way that would
probably be the best for him doubly
difficult to break away when he
financially depends entirely on being a
lannister if it wasn't for the lannister
name and riches he would have absolutely
no power at all so then he is very much
caught between wanting to be a lannister
and not wanting to be a lannister and
not able to do anything there really and
then there's where the feelings of good
and bad come into all of this wanting to
prove to himself and to the world that
he's not the monster but that's
intricately tied to winning his father's
approval and being like him which
kind of means becoming the monster so
that's very confused and then comes with
a level of guilt for wanting to be like
his father at all a guilt he largely
chooses to suppress wanting to be
praised by others but also wanting to
exact revenge on them feeling pity for
outcasts but not often true empathy a
desperation to believe in love and that
he is worthy of love and even just of
existence but also a great and bitter
anger when he feels that desperation to
believe has been tricked tyrion is a vast
vast
vast array of complex confused feelings
to which your head would just spin in
his situation i don't find it at all
surprising he's as impulsive as he is in
that context at least there's then
something he can grapple on to sex and
wine and things although the sex is
really more a search for intimacy and
company and acceptance and the
drunkenness probably shuts off a lot of
these hurricane of feelings tyrion's
conclusion for everything is somewhat correct
correct
he is a victim he has been on trial his
whole life for being a dwarf and various
other things the trial where his abusive
father is quite fittingly the judge i am
the victim and if that makes me a
monster then i'm a victim for being
turned into that as well at the same
time the only way out of feeling
victimized is to take on a level of
agency and responsibility to try and
change to not be powerless against these
pressures something it is very very hard
to do without support and someone
believing in him how do you learn to
believe in yourself when nobody else
believed in you to begin with
no wonder he wanted to believe shay
loved him no wonder he wants to believe
he can find taisha again i said it would
have been a revelation to discover lord
tywin lannister isn't this invincible
imposing figure but a devious hypocrite
who sleeps with shay and probably other
women and doesn't in the end [ __ ] gold i
don't know if that's a good revelation
or not on the one hand it gives tyrion a
feeling of power over his father and it
gives him some sense of understanding of
who he really is but on another level it
proves he is exactly like his dad
exactly like this man he hates how do
you then come to terms with yourself
realizing that and realizing you're
exactly like the person you most hate
doubly hard to believe you can be
anything different when your similarity
is laid out so clearly in that moment
what does killing his father represent
um i suppose you could argue it's
killing off the part of tyrion that is
like his dad but i don't think that's
the case i think it's
very edible um in killing tywin he can
finally take up his own place as tywin
for good or ill it wasn't really an
experience that gave him closure just
fed his vengeance and the intoxicating
power he gains from it i think i guess i
wanted to finish this video saying
tyrion's story paints a very real and
horrifying struggle many of us do go
through the fear that we might turn into
our parents even when we hate everything
they stand for and i think it's made
doubly scary because there will be times
where we recognize themselves in us and
we might act out in all sorts of ways
they used to and
those situations scare us but we don't
have to be and shouldn't expect to be
absolutely nothing like our parents we
don't have to be total opposites to them
if we can forgive ourselves for some of
our similarities for the times we are
similar then we can give ourselves trust
and confidence and the belief to be
different i think sometimes we'll get
things wrong but that doesn't mean we
are doomed certainly not if we're aware
enough to spot when it happens and when
i talk about forgiving ourselves i don't
mean just going oh it's fine that
happened and forgetting it i mean going
that wasn't good no
i can be honest to myself about that
without having to distance myself from
it but i can also trust myself to grow
we can forgive our faults far easier
when we believe we have space to grow
beyond them with time then if we can be
aware enough and emotionally reflective
enough to recognize the similarities
scary as it might be and to reflect on
that fear and the guilt and
possible anger at ourselves and
everything else i think if we can do
that and we can like sensibly think
about what would help us grow are there
certain situations i struggle with in
particular that might be better
avoiding or getting support with i don't
know that's a bit jambled um there's a
lot to it i didn't want this to become a
massive point when i'm supposed to be
talking about tyrion here i just felt
like having talked for a long time about
a potentially good person
increasingly turning into his abusive
father i just wanted to say that doesn't
have to be the story for everyone i
didn't want to give that impression it
might not even be the story for tyrion
we don't know where george rr martin is
going with things how it's going to end
i will be fascinated to find out so um
sorry this was
all over the place even more so than my
videos usually are there's just so much
to say and it's hard to put it all into
clear points as i said before i am not a
song of ice and fire book nerd i've only
very recently read them for the first
time so please
please
add your more informed thoughts in the
comments those of you who know more than
me let me know what i missed and what i
got wrong and what i got right um
all the same if you enjoyed this give it
a like subscribe if you want more game
of thrones the song of ice and fire
analysis and
other analysis videos anything that i do
um i've done quite a bit on this channel
support me on patreon if you want help
to keep this channel going as well but otherwise
otherwise
hopefully see you next time
and ever a special thank you guys to
janice mcmahon luke core chitra caber
michael gallagher in squares samara
saucy joshua c follier and chad
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