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God Loves You as You Are, Not as You Wish You Were | Word on Fire Institute | YouTubeToText
YouTube Transcript: God Loves You as You Are, Not as You Wish You Were
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Summary
Core Theme
The central message emphasizes that God's love, particularly His mercy, is infinitely available and sufficient for everyone, regardless of their perceived flaws or past mistakes. The key is to grant God permission to love us as we are, not as we wish we were.
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[Applause]
Thank you. Thanks you guys.
I uh thank you. That's that's very kind
of you. Um [Laughter]
[Laughter] >> Mom,
I know. I know that we already prayed,
but sometimes it's just really good to
uh be reentered on uh the reason the
real I mean the reason why we're here uh
who is the Lord uh Jesus who loves us
more than we ever could imagine. So
let's pray in the name of the Father and
of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Father in heaven, we give you praise and
glory. Thank you so much. Please um
receive our our receive our presence,
receive our very selves as we are, not
as we wish we were, but as we really
are. You love us as we are, not as we
wish we were. You love us as we are.
Help us to give you permission to let
you love us as we are
in Jesus name. Amen. In the father, son,
holy spirit. Amen. Two things. One is
you guys, I um heard
heard
I don't know if you ever tried
doing archery while blindfolded,
Yeah. Yeah. You guys, I have so many
more of those, but I I promised myself I
wouldn't I wouldn't give in. Um, so one
thing that struck me during mass and one
thing that was just it was kind of
overwhelming. And I wonder if this is
the case when it comes to us here on
this conference this weekend, and it's
this. I wonder if there isn't sometimes
this something that's deadly. And it's
deadly because it's so sneaky. And it's
deadly because it's so private. And what
it is is this. And this might not be
you. If it's not you, then this isn't
also this isn't a setup for a joke. This
is we're serious. Serious.
Serious.
But I mean this I mean it's easy to come
to a thing like this and feel like
you're the one who's not supposed to be here.
here.
And I don't you know it's easy to to to
go to your room. The room's like, "Oh my
gosh, this is this hotel is way too
fancy for me. I'm not supposed to be
here." or to sit in a talk but oh my
gosh yesterday and today these talks of
these people like oh my gosh they're so
holy I'm not supposed to be here or they
use words I don't know what those words
mean I'm not supposed to be here or even
to be at mass and be around people that
just like wow they seem like they're
really they know how to pray I and I'm
not supposed to be here it's so so easy
in a place like this to immediately fall
into this place where you just you're
just you disqualify yourself and the
reason why it's so insidious is because
it's so secret is because this like you
look around and you think I'm the only one.
one.
But one of the things we just need to
remind everyone here is no, you are
you're here for one reason and that's
because you're supposed to be here.
You're supposed to be here
because uh this is going to be kind of
the message of tonight because the Lord
loves you as you are, not as you wish
you were. [Applause]
>> Because here's what I believe.
I believe that the Lord loves me,
but the more I do, the more he loves me.
I believe that the Lord loves me, but
the harder I try, the more he's going to
love me.
I believe that the Lord loves me.
And even though I know it's not true,
it's sneaky.
And we're tempted to believe it.
And think about this especially in terms
of of this as in especially in terms of
uh looking out. So I'm excited. Last
weekend was our first weekend of
students on campus. Last week was our
first week of students in classes and
and so I'm so excited tomorrow night we
have mass um back in Duth and one of the
things that happens every time I look
out over the like the crowd of of
students is whether they're freshman or
seniors or super seniors or grad
students or people that hang on a little
too long whatever they are
there's always that sense of like so
much potential and like even the
freshman class coming in like oh so much
potential like what and I love just
having that sense of like I can't wait
to find out like what are they going to
do? Whether that be the freshman who
like show up and they're like they just
revolutionize the place and it's
awesome. That happens a lot. Or those
who graduates who go off and they do
some amazing things. That happens a lot.
But there's that sense of like there's
something cool about looking at a room
of people who have so much potential.
And I think that I could probably say
the same thing about this room
that I look around and say, "Wow,
there's there's so much so much
giftedness. There's so much there's so
many talents. There's there's so much
there's so much potential. I just say it
But that's also there's a double-edged
sword with that
because it's one thing to have potential.
potential.
But then what?
Because at some point
there's the question of did I what did I
do with my potential?
There's there's potential. That's that's
exciting. But what's actual?
Like here's all the things that God
could do in you and all the things God
could do through you. That's potential.
But but what have I let him do? That's actual.
actual.
And one of the tragedies of every one of
our lives is we look back and we think,
"Oh, there there was so much potential."
And I could look at my past in my in my
wake and I can see so much wasted potential.
potential.
And I know that there's some people here
tonight who that that might be one of
the things that's on your heart is like,
"Oh man, I remember when I was that
freshman at college and man, I remember
when I just was graduating and I just
launching into the world. I remember
what it was felt like to have so much
potential. And now I look back in my
wake and I see so much wasted potential.
I look back and I see what could have been.
And I'm tempted
to say with all this wasted potential,
So much time has passed and I haven't
done anything.
I don't belong here. I'm not supposed to
You know, one of the one of the um
I think it's really fascinating
how powerful discouragement can be
again in discouragement again
discouragement is kind of sneaky
because discouragement I think is the Christians
Christians
the Christian's kryptonite
because if we think about it
if If we believe in Jesus, if we're
followers of Christ, the only weapon
that Satan has left in his quiver, the
only weapon he has left in his arsenal,
the only thing he the only way he could
possibly hurt us is if he gets us
discouraged. I mean, think about it like
this. Um, if you believe that Jesus is
God. Yeah, I already know that. I know
Jesus is God. Then that means you also
believe that he founded a church. You
really founded a He founded a church.
That means he you also believe that he
gave us sacraments for us in our
weakness. He gave us sacraments for us
when we've broke when we're broken. He
gave us sacraments when we fail. He gave
us sacraments so that when we sin, we
have a route back to his heart.
So you know this and if you know this,
you know Jesus is God. He founded the
church. He gave us sacraments for when
we're weak, when we fall, when we're
destroyed, he can raise us up again. If
that is true, if you believe that to be
true, the only weapon Satan has left is
if he can get us to the point where we
that we're no longer willing to ask for help.
help.
That if I know that Jesus is my lifeline
to the father,
the only way he Satan can ever win is if
he gets us so discouraged
that we don't give him permission to
love us. That's one of the reasons why,
again, you probably heard me say this
because I think it's so important. I
think you can you can distill all of
Christianity. You can distill all of the
Catholic Church, not just the five
precepts, but even simpler than that, to
one question and one answer. That's it.
All of Christianity is not complicated.
It is summed up in one question. That
one question is, does God have your
permission to love you as you are right now?
now?
Like that's all of Christianity.
Does God have your permission to love
you as you are right now? And I think
again some of us will think, well, of
course he does. I mean, he loves me. He
He would love me more if I was just a
little bit more.
If I was a little funnier, I was a
little kinder. If I was a little holier,
if I was I was a little prettier,
skinnier, whatever. God loves me, but he
would love me just a little more if I
was just a little more. But here's the
If I was just a little better, he'd love
me more. Actually, that's false. I don't
know if you know that. That's that's not true.
true.
God actually doesn't love that version
of you.
Let's highlight this for a second. God
does not love that version of you. Why?
Because that version of you doesn't exist.
exist.
You exist.
And he loves you as you.
It's the big question.
Does God have your permission to love
Not you after you get your act together.
Not you after you actualize your
potential. Not you after you go to
confession. Now I'm fine. So I God loves
you as you. That's the only version that
exists. Therefore, that is the only
version he could possibly love. Amen. >> Amen.
mercy is um
I've heard someone say like this, mercy
Uh I think it was Jesus who said to St. Fina
Jesus said to St. Hina
that mercy is God's greatest attribute
wouldn't you want to be loved like that
like to be loved by the greatest love
God had to offer and the greatest love
he has to offer is mercy his particular
kind of love that God's greatest
attribute is mercy because we know this
let's back up a little bit I have a good
friend his name is Nick Davidson Nick is
awesome he and his family are
missionaries in Cambodia. They they
moved to Cambodia a couple years ago and
they're like, "Yeah, we're going to live
here until we die. We're going to bring
the gospel to the people of Cambodia
until they either kick us out or we're
we're dead." And Nick has said this,
Nick has said many times, he said, "You
know, you have to realize this. Love is
Love is a one-way street. Why? Because
love is willing the good of the other.
So, pause on that. If love is willing
the good of the other, nothing in the
definition there has anything to do with
how I feel or what I get.
That means you are always we are always
free to love because it just means I'm
going to will your good even if you
don't accept it. Even if you reject it,
even if you don't even know it.
Love is a one-way street.
Now, relationships are a two-way street.
But love is a one-way street. Similarly, mercy.
mercy.
Mercy is a one-way street.
The highest attribute of God's love is
But I think it's a pretty remarkable.
What do you think is the prerequisite
for the highest form of God's love?
Like just I mean think about this. What
do you have to do if if it's true? Like
just go with me on this. If it's
actually true that mercy is the highest
form of God's love, if it's actually
true that mercy is God's greatest
attribute, in order for you and I to
receive the greatest gift God could
possibly give, his mercy, this
particular kind of love, what is the one prerequisite
prerequisite
to receive mercy? What is the one thing
you and I have to do in order to receive mercy?
>> Oh, these are good answers, you guys.
I love it.
Usually my students are like you guys
come on. I'm always like I'm always like
this means yes, this means no. This
The one prerequisite
to receive the greatest love God has to offer
offer
The one thing you and I need to do in
order to receive God's love is the thing
we're most afraid of.
The thing we think disqualifies us is
the one thing that actually qualifies
us. The thing we think takes us out of
the running is the only thing that
actually puts us in the running for the
highest form of God's love given to us.
I think my sin disqualifies me. And God
essentially declares actually no, your
sin is the one thing that qualifies you
to receive my greatest gift, my highest
form of love. In fact, because what is
mercy? Mercy is the love that we deserve
the least and we need the most.
Mercy is the love that we deserve the
But here's my here's my my problem. My
guess is here somewhere in this room
right now there's some of us who are
going like, "Oh, that's cool. I like
that. I like that. I like Not me, though.
though.
I imagine this is what happens, right?
We have this chimera of a heart that's
just like, "Oh, that's really good." And
I'm slippery like a little eel like bonami.
bonami.
God's trying to shoot his love bullets
And we say, "I believe that 100% for my kids.
kids.
I believe that 100% uh for my spouse.
Believe that 100% for those people. I
hear their stories about how much
they're loved, how much they've fallen.
They know they trust in God's mercy.
That's true. But I don't know if that's
This summer, I had the opportunity to
just pray through Matthew chapter 7. And
it's Matthew chapter 7. It says the
sermon on the mount. And you you guys
know this one because
you're Catholic
and because we read it every Wednesday
with ashes. Sorry, it's called Ash
Wednesday. We read it every Ash
Wednesday and Matthew chapter 7. Here's
what Jesus says. He has one of his
teachings and he says, um, something No,
you guys, did you say did I hear someone
say, "No, it's actually Matthew chapter
6." You're right. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I can't be perfect. So, [Applause]
[Applause]
so here's Jesus. He says this. He says
this, "Take care not to perform
righteous deeds so that others can see
them." Right? He says, "When you go
about, give alms, do not blow a trumpet
before you as the hypocrites do in the
synagogues, etc., etc." He says, "But
when you give alms,
do not let your left hand know what your
right hand is doing." so that your
almsgiving may be secret. And your
father who sees in secret will repay
you. Goes on to pray. When you pray, do
not be like the hypocrites who love to
stand and pray in the synagogues and on
street corners so that others may see
them. Amen. I say to you, they've
received the reward. But when you pray,
go to your inner room, close the door,
and pray to your father in secret, and
your father who sees in secret will
repay you.
Earlier than this in chapter five, he says
says
that when you stand on this, don't stand
on the street corner
so others may see what you're doing, but
go to your inner room and your father
who sees in secret will repay you. Now,
I've always thought that this this
gospel, this teaching of Jesus in the
sermon on the mount, this is a big
teaching. It's really important that he
was basically saying, "Hey, don't show off."
off."
that Jesus is warning against vanity.
He's warning against being inordinately
preoccupied with what other people are
thinking. And that's not wrong. That's
that's a good thing to be warned against.
against.
But as I was praying with that over the
course of this summer, I was like, I
don't know that the heart of this gospel
is actually
don't be a showboat.
I don't think the heart of the gospel is
don't do it so others can see. I think
the heart of the gospel is the last
point of every example Jesus gives.
But when you fast,
do it in secret. And you know what? Your
father notices.
And when you give, do it in secret. You
know what? Your father sees.
When you pray, do it in secret.
That the smallest thing you do, the
smallest thing, even if no one else
knows, he knows. So even the smallest
thing you possibly could do, even if no
one else knows, even if you had all this
potential and no one even realizes how
actual it is, even if no one else
notices you, you need to understand
this. Your father sees. He knows. He notices.
notices.
No one knows your name,
but he knows your name.
I think the point of this whole parable,
is that when God notices you, you
realize that that must mean that you matter.
Um, I came across this quote from CS Lewis
Lewis
and CS Lewis pointed this out. He
pointed out that uh something that I I
was like, "Duh, I knew this my whole
life, ever since I was a kid, that God
is infinite." Amen. We all know this. We
all look God. How about this one? God's
infinite. Amen.
>> Yeah. Okay, you got it. So,
>> You guys are good.
Lewis pointed this out. He said, "If God
is infinite, that means he has infinite attention."
attention."
And if God is infinite attention,
that means that his attention is not
divided between you and you and you and
you and eight billion other people. his
infinite attention. You have all of his attention.
attention. Always.
Always.
That there's never a moment where he's
not infinitely attentive to you. There's
never a moment
where he's not thinking about you. As if
this is as if you're the only being that
exists other than him.
Is that bonkers?
Imagine this. Imagine if we really
actually lived like this
that I can go to my inner room and just
do the smallest thing
and he sees and he notices and it matters
matters
as if you were the only being in the
entire world you have that much of his
attention infinite amount of attention
that's why I think that's the reason I
think this is the point of this teaching
is because the very next thing that
Jesus says is he says So therefore, when
you pray, this is how we teach on pray.
He says, "Therefore, when you pray,
do not babble like the pagans who think
that because of their many words,
they'll be heard."
No. Sometimes people say that, "Well,
that Catholics, you guys do that. You
guys are like rosary, Hail Mary, Hail
Mary, Mary." That kind of thing. Like
that's not what Jesus isn't saying.
Don't repeat yourself in prayer because
couple things. One is Jesus repeated
himself in prayer. Like you know Jesus
in the garden of Gethsemane says, "Let
this cup pass from me, father. Not my
will, your be done." You guys are
sleeping. It's got pass from me. Father,
thy will. He repeats himself in prayer.
Also, he prayed the Psalms as a good Jew
probably more than once.
Jesus most likely repeated himself in prayer.
prayer.
But Jesus was describing a reality of
phenomena of the Greek and Roman gods or
uh Roman practitioners.
And the reality was this that if you
were a Greek or Roman and you believed
in the gods or goddesses,
you knew a couple things. One, you knew
that the gods or goddesses weren't good.
You knew that they weren't just. You
knew they didn't care about you.
And you knew that if you were going to
approach them, you were taking your life
in your hands. How many people have read
like Percy Jackson or any of the other
Yeah, bunch of us. Okay. So, you know
this. You know the gods are capriccious,
right? If you get the god's attention,
they would just as likely curse you as
bless you.
And so, the only reason you'd get the
god's attention was one of two reasons.
One, either you were so desperate that
you're willing to risk getting cursed in
order to be blessed or you wanted to preemptively
preemptively
keep the gods out of your life. So, I'm
going to offer my sacrifice. I'm going
to go to worship and then I get to do
what I want to do and you're going to
stay away from me. I'm going to pause on
that for a second and ask, does that
describe some how some Catholics
approach God?
Either I approach God when I'm so
desperate that I have no other no other
recourse. I'm going to come before God
or you know what, here's God. Here's the
deal. I'm going to go to your mass and everything.
everything.
I'll give you this hour. If he goes
long, I'm leaving early. I'm telling you
right now.
And then the agreement is you get me the
rest of my week. I'll show up next week
as long as you stay out of my life.
And Jesus says that's that's not way to go.
go.
In fact, you know, there were there were
stories of uh
in the in uh like Babylonian type area
where they would go into the Babylonian
war gods temple before they went into
battle and offer sacrifices because they
wanted victory in battle. If they were
so desperate to get victory in battle,
they wouldn't just offer a sacrifice.
They would even like cut themselves with
their swords or with their spears and
they would shed their bloods trying to
get that God's attention, trying to get
that God's favor. Here's Jesus just
saying, "Oh, here's the deal. You don't
realize you don't have to fight for
God's attention. He's fighting for yours.
yours.
You have to realize that you don't have
to say a bunch of things in order to get
God's attention. You already have his
attention. Ultimately, Jesus's life says
this. Says what? Says, "Yeah, yeah.
Listen, you don't have to bleed to get
his attention. He's going to bleed to
When you pray, you don't have to babble
like the pagans who think that because
of the many words that'll be heard. When
you pray, simply go to that inner room
>> Yeah. Amen. Oh, keep going. Yeah.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on
earth as it is in heaven. Give us this
day our daily bread. And forgive us our
trespasses as we forgive those who
trespass against us. And lead us not
into temptation, but deliver us from
evil. Amen. And your father who sees in
secret will repay you. Here's the the
You have his attention.
And the version of you that exists right
You ever think think about this? The
version of you that exists right now
is the one he was thinking of when he
you are the you
In fact, what you're pointing to inside
right now, what you're pointing to your
shame, you're pointing to your sin,
that's the one thing that's qualified
And yet we can be, you see, it's so easy
so easy to feel like we failed, like
and to be afraid
because we know the truth, right? We
know the truth. The truth is actually um
the truth is darker than we like to think.
think.
Cuz you might be thinking, "Okay,
father, you're talking about like some
of those respectable sins." So you're
talking about those those sins that
people are like, "Oh, yeah. You gossip,
Oh, you speed as well. Oh, you naughty
person. Like,
but you're like, "But no, Father, I have
like real brokenness. I I owe the Lord
You owe the Lord more that you can never pay.
pay.
And justice says, like Bishop was
talking about last night, justice would say
say
that you need to pay it.
Justice is good.
Injustice is necessary in order to get
to mercy. If that makes sense. Justice
is necessary to get to mercy. What do I
mean? I mean that if we're going to
actually embrace God's mercy for us, we
have to embrace justice. Meaning, if
we're going to embrace the truth of
God's mercy, we have to embrace the
truth that I deserve justice.
Here's what I mean. There's another
story in the Gospels. This is also in
Matthew. It's Matthew chapter 18.
Matthew chapter 18. There's this
incredible story of it's called the the
the parable of the unforgiving servant.
You guys know the story. I'm gonna kind
of sum up. Maybe I'll read it. Who
knows? Here we go. Then Jes Peter asked
Peter Peter asked Jesus, "Lord, if my
brother sins against me, how often must
say I forgive him? As many as seven
times." Then Jesus answered, "I tell
you, seven, not seven times, but 77
times." That's why the kingdom of heaven
may be likened to a king who decided to
settle accounts with his servants. When
he began the accounting, a debtor was
brought in before him who owed him a
huge amount. Since he had no way of
paying it back, his master ordered him
to be sold along with his wife, his
children, and all his property in
payment of the debt. At that the servant
fell down, did him homage and said, "Be
patient with me, and I will pay you back
in full." moved with compassion. The
master of that servant let him go and
forgave him the loan.
This is a great image of forgiveness.
Why? Because of a couple things. One is,
see, in the New American Bible, that's
the translation we use at mass. In the
New American Bible, it says, "He brought
before him a debtor who owed him a huge
amount." In the original Greek, it
actually tells you the exact amount.
It's 10,000 talents. No. Like, oh wow,
he had a lot of skills. No, he had so
10,000 talents is an enormous amount. In
fact, um, a talent is what you would
possibly earn in multiple years if
you're a day laborer. So, if you're
going to try back try to pay back 10,000
talents, this man would have had to live
And he says, I'll pay you back. Give me
some time. Well, I don't have that much time.
time.
But I think it's interesting how in the
actual story when Jesus said it, he said
exactly how much the man owed.
Because why? Because if we're going to
let mercy come to the depths, we need to
know how deep it is.
If mercy is actually going to re if
mercy is actually going to reach the
depths of our hearts, we need to know
how deep the wound goes.
So it's added up 10,000 talents. It's
one of the reasons why when we're called
to extend mercy to someone else, when
we're called to extend forgiveness to
someone else,
sometimes we think like, "I can't
forgive." Because why? Why do you think?
Well, I think because I think
forgiveness is like saying, "Oh, no big deal."
deal."
Clarification. Forgiveness is not
saying, "No big deal." Forgiveness is
saying like, "Ah, I'm over it. Forget
about it." Forgiveness is not saying,
"I'm over it." Forgiveness is not
saying, "Forget about it." Well, I can't
forgive because I'm still hurt.
Forgiveness is not ceasing to be hurt. Forgiveness
Forgiveness
first step is acknowledging that there's
a debt.
Forgiveness's second step is actually
If I borrow if I if I lend someone my car
car
and so I'm John if I lend John my car
and John takes my car and he like has an
accident and he dings it up and the
repairs cost $700.
John owes me $700.
>> That's justice. Now am I mean if I make
him pay me back?
>> No. That's just
Am I doing something against him if I
make him pay me back? No, it's just He
owes me $700.
Now, if I forgive him, is that saying,
"John, have the keys. Have the whole car."
car."
No, that simply means John, you owe me.
If I said, "I forgive you." What I'm
saying is, "John, you owe me $700."
Justice says that's how much you owe me.
Mercy says, "I'm not going to make you
pay me back.
You actually owe me $700.
That's what you cost me.
It doesn't mean we like each other
anymore. Doesn't mean I trust him with
my car.
Doesn't mean I don't feel hurt.
It just means I release you from your debt.
debt.
So when the master says, "You owe me
10,000 talents."
He has to add up the justice first
because he needs to know how deep the
mercy needs to go.
When you and I are called upon to extend
mercy to others,
we can't just be like, "Well, some of us
are motans. Here's what we would do in
Minnesota. Oh, don't worry about it."
And we'd limp away with our passive
If I'm gonna if you really hurt me
and I really want to forgive you,
that means at some point I need to go
into a secret place,
maybe with a trusted companion,
definitely in front of the Lord Jesus,
and I need to say, "Okay, God, how much
What he did to me
has ruined my experience of fatherhood.
What she stole from me means I can never
drive by a liquor store without thinking
And go into a place that's safe but
secret and powerful and honest and say,
"Okay, here's what they owe me. This is
what they took from me. This is what
they cost me.
This is the whole truth. This is justice.
justice.
Because it's only then that I can say,
I release you from your debt.
This is what you owe me.
I'm not going to make you pay me back."
You know, I think this is one of the
reasons why the church invites us to go
to confession.
Because when we come before the Lord to
receive his mercy,
what do we have to do?
Well, number and kind and name them off.
What we're doing when we what are we
doing? We can make it so technical if we want,
want,
but to actually confess our mortal sins
in number and kind. What are we doing?
We're making an accounting.
We're saying, Lord, this is this is what
Do we think
especially sometimes again we yes we can
get a little bit too nitpicky maybe as
Catholics when it comes to like number
and kind that kind of thing but let's
let's pause on that for a second.
Does any of us here think that one of
the lashes that Jesus received in his scourging
scourging
Not at all.
Therefore, every one of my mortal sins,
I'm like, "No, Lord, I need to hand this
over to you. I want Now, again, if
you're someone prone to like a little
bit OCD, don't
go there." But I'm saying like,
you can still say a bunch of times.
That's fine. What I'm saying is at some
point we need to add it up.
I need to make an accounting of what I
owe so that the mercy can go as deep as
I need mercy more than I'd like to admit.
But also amazing. I get mercy
because I've qualified.
Mercy is the love that we deserve the
again we can look at our potential and
say ah wasted
look at my life and see here's what
could have been and I can allow that
to disqualify me and keep me from
letting God love me as I am.
I'm I'm from a a town called Brainard,
which is just a couple hours north of
here. I know we have some Brainer people
here, which is amazing.
Couple years ago, uh one and our priest
there for a long time was uh Polish
descent. And so he would always like to
have uh Polish religious sisters come to
do missions and there was a Polish a
religious sister from the Shrine of
Divine Mercy in in Krakco. It came to
came to Briner. Her name was Sister Gaudia.
Gaudia.
Sister Gaudia shared this story that
just like I just like it just
even though I know God loves me, I can
sometimes still disqualify myself.
Sister Gardia said a couple years ago,
few years ago,
there was a youngish priest, newly
ordained, but was making rounds at the
hospital. He visited some of his
parishioners and uh he's on his way out
and a nun was in the hospital too and
she stopped him in the hallway. She
said, "Father, could you go into this
room? There's a man here and he hasn't
received the sacraments and he keeps
chasing priests out." And the priest
said, "Well, sure, young the young guys,
The priest goes in and he says, "Hi, my
name is Father so and so, and I I have I
came here for confession, anointing of
the sick. I am here to give you
communion. The man looked at him with a
just eyes that could were shooting
daggers at him and said, "No, I hate
you. If you stay in here, I will hurt you."
you."
So the priest left, "Okay, sorry to
bother you." And he walked out into the
hallway and the gnome was waiting there
and he said, "I'm sorry, sister. Uh, he
said he doesn't want what I have to
offer." She says, "Okay, would you would
you just go back in? Just try one more time."
time."
Priest says, "Okay." He goes back in.
And the man in the bed looks at him. He
said, "I told you to leave." And he
said, "I I know, but okay, how about if
I don't if I promise not to make you go
to confession or he's full of communion.
If I just sit next to your bedside and
just pray, would that be okay?" He looks
at him and says, "I don't care."
So priest sits down.
He starts praying the chapel of divine mercy
for the sake of his sorrowful passion.
have mercy on us and on the whole world
for the sake of his sorrow awful
passion. Have mercy on us and on the
whole world. As he's in like a decade or
two decades into this, finally the man
says, "Just stop.
Stop. I know I said you could, but you
stop and just leave." And the priest
says, "Why? Why do you
The man says, "Because
That's that's
Well, tell me why. Why do you think
you're disqualified
in the love of God?
He says, "Okay, I'll tell you. I've
never told a person this for 25 years,
but 25 years ago, I was in a town just
south of here.
It was my job to be stationed at the
railroad crossing. It was my job to
lower the arm when a train came and to
raise the arm when the train went by,
but I drank a lot back then.
And one winter night, I drank too much
and I fell asleep.
And I I wasn't able to lower the arm as
a train came by at the exact moment
where this
married couple,
crossed the train tracks and were struck
by the train and all five of them died instantly.
And there's no mercy that goes that deep.
Sister Gaudius said, uh,
it was that that moment the priest said,
wait, where? What town?
Said the name of the town.
25 years ago. Yeah. Why?
The priest looked at this man and said,
I couldn't go with them, but my mom and
my dad took my three little siblings
on a trip at Christmas to see my grandparents,
but they never made it cuz they were
crossing a train track and got hit by a
"I know
that God forgives you
He said, "Would you please
let God
The man went to confession for the first
time in over 25 years.
received the anointing of the sick,
received Holy Communion for the first
and was able to see the Lord face to face.
Interestingly, uh
years later, uh this young the priest a
little older now went to Vnius, which is
uh St. Fina's that's the convent
originally is. And he was able to say
mass for the sisters. And he's walking
down the hallway outside the chapel. And
he said, "Wait, who is that nun in that
p picture?"
He said, "Why?" Said, "Because I met
her. She was at the hospital. She was
this nun who told me to go into this
hospital room."
And he told the whole story about this
man who had the man who killed my
parents accidentally and this whole
thing. And they're like, "No, no, that's
not possible." Why? Because that's St.
Because there's no depth to which God's
mercy is not willing to go.
Here's the last thing.
We can hear this stuff and think this is
for someone else.
But here's what I do.
I do that. I hear this and think it's
for someone else until I'm on a plane
and we have turbulence.
Like truly,
there are some times and it happened in
LA last number of weeks and months this
summer. I just like whenever I'm I've
traveled a lot this this uh this summer
and whenever turbulence like okay if we
went down if we went down well I
remember I'm hearing a priest say if you
go down if a priest you jump up and like
absolve you above your sins in the name
of the father general absolution right
away. I was on a plane with John Ricardo
But every time I think this might be it.
go deep enough
I think it's a really good question.
Like if if if we laid down our to sleep
tonight and prayed the Lord our soul to keep
keep
and we were to die before we wake,
like that sense of
do I believe that his mercy is strong
Not if I died in 10 years from now or 20
years from now, but right now, this
moment, if I died and said, "Okay,
Jesus, I'm just going to trust in your mercy.
mercy.
Do I believe that his mercy is strong
Because that's what this life is in so
many ways. Not just practice for death,
but practice for that moment of trust.
The moment of trust of saying, "God, I
know the truth. The truth is injustice.
I could never pay you back,
Do I trust that your mercy is strong
enough to hold me up tonight? Me, not me better,
better,
but me right now.
Which is one of the reasons why
everything we are and everything we do,
all of Christianity, all of the Catholic
Church comes down to one question and
one answer.
Does God have your permission to love
Because if you're like me, you're qualified.
and it is the love that we need the most
and deserve the least
and is strong enough to handle the
weight of your brokenness if
if
he has your permission to love you.
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