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all right this morning we're going to
read chapter 15 of the book respectable
sins by jerry bridges
and chapter 15 is titled anger
robert jones in his book uprooting anger
wrote anger is a universal problem
prevalent in every culture experienced
by every generation
no one is isolated from its presence or
immune from its poison
it permeates each person and spoils our
most intimate relationships
anger is a given part of our fallen
human fabric
and then jones added sadly
this is true even in our christian homes
and churches
so i would add to jones's observation
about our christian homes and churches that
that
our anger is often directed toward those
who we should love most
our spouse children parents
or siblings in our human families and
those who are true brothers and sisters
in christ
in our church families i once knew a
fellow believer who was the epitome of graciousness
graciousness
to other people but was continually
angry with his wife and children
and unfortunately fortunately after
years of this
god finally convicted him and helped him
deal with his anger
what is anger many of us might say
i can't define it but i know it when i
see it
especially if it's directed towards me
well my dictionary defines anger simply
as a strong
feeling of displeasure and usually of antagonism
antagonism
i would add that it's often accompanied
by sinful emotions sinful words
and actions hurtful to those who were objects
objects
of our anger anger is a huge and complex
issue and dealing with it extensively is
beyond the purpose of this book
in keeping with my object objective to
help us confront the sins we tolerate in
our lives i'm going to focus on that
aspect of anger
that we unconsciously treat as acceptable
acceptable
sin in order to do that
i need to right away deal with the issue
some people justify their anger as
righteous anger
they feel they have a right to be angry
given a certain situation
how then can i know if my anger is
righteous anger
first righteous anger arises from an accurate
accurate
perception of true evil that is
as a violation of god's moral law
it focuses on god and his will
not on me and my will second
righteous anchor righteous anger is
always self-controlled
it never causes one to lose his temper
or retaliate
in some vengeful way though the bible
does give some examples of righteous anger
anger
such as jesus's cleansing of the temple
they are
few and the main focus of the bible's
teaching on anger
deals with our sinful anger
our sinful reactions to other people's
actions or words
the fact that we may be reacting to
another person's real sin
does not necessarily make it our anger
righteous we're likely more concerned
with the negative impact
of the sinful actions on on us
than we are that it is a violation of
god's law
or we may even use the fact that it is a
violation of god's law to justify our own
own
sinful angry response another topic of
anger that is also beyond the purpose of
this book
is that of a person who was continually angry
angry
or the purpose of this book is that
i think i lost my place hold on another
another topic of anger that is also
beyond the purpose of this book is that
of the person who is continually angry
or the person whose anger causes him or her
her
to be verbally or physically abusive
these people need good biblical and
pastoral counseling
so in this chapter i want to keep us focused
focused
on what we might call ordinary anger
that we sort of accept as part of our
lives but
that is actually sinful in the sight of god
god
and facing up to our anger we need to
realize that no one else causes us to be angry
angry
someone else's words or actions may
become the occasion of our anger
but the cause lies deep within us usually
usually
our pride our selfishness or our desire
to control
i agreed to do something for a friend
and then i forgot
when my failure came to light he became
quite angry with me
now why did he become so visibly upset
it was because my failure had made him
look bad in
front of some of his friends this is not
to excuse
my forgetfulness and the real fact that
i had put him in an awkward situation
but the cause of his anger was not my failure
failure
but his pride we may become angry because
because
someone has mistreated us in some way a
person gossips about us
and when we hear about it we get angry
no why it's likely because our
reputation or our character
has been questioned again the cause
we get angry because we don't get our way
way
we frequently see this in children but it
it
is just as true of us who are adults
often in a marriage either the husband
or wife will
have the stronger personality and will
want to call the shots in the home
even at the expense of others desires or
good judgment
when that person doesn't easily get his
or her way
and sometimes a similar situation occurs
in a local church
or even a para church ministry
a strong and often opinionated person
again wants to exercise control
and gets angry when others oppose him in
all of these instances
the cause of the anger is selfishness
i want it my way so we get angry as a response
response
to someone else's anger a husband comes
home expecting dinner to be on the table
when it is not he becomes angry and verbalizes
verbalizes
his anger in hot and hurtful words
the wife gets angry in return but she
may not
verbalize her anger instead she
seethes inwardly with resentment
her anger is just as sinful as her husband's
husband's
a man is chewed out by his boss possibly
in front of a fellow employee
he can't retaliate in kind but he
like the unfortunate wife will also see
with resentment these hypocrite uh these
hypothetical situations are not intended
to justify the actions of the husband or
the boss
clearly they are sinful but we can
choose how we will respond
to the sinful actions of others towards us
us
consider peter's words to slaves in the
first century church
who often served under cruel and unjust matters
matters
according to much present day thinking
they would be justified in their anger
but here are peter's words to them in
first peter
2 verses 18-20 servants be subject to
your masters with all respect
not only to the good and gentle but also
to the unjust
for this is a gracious thing when
mindful of god
one endures sorrows while suffering
unjustly for what credit is it if
when you sin and are beaten for it you endure
endure
but if when you do good and suffer for it
it
you endure this is a gracious thing in
the sight of god
so peter's instructions to slaves are a
specific application
of a broader a broader scriptural principle
principle
we are to respond to any unjust treatment
treatment
as mindful of god to be mindful of god
means to think of god's will and god's glory
glory
now how would god if me respond in this situation
situation
how can i best glorify god by my response
response
do i believe that this difficult
situation or this
unjust treatment is under the sovereign
control of god
in that in his infinite wisdom and
goodness he is using these difficult circumstances
circumstances
to conform me more to the likeness of christ
christ
i'm realistic enough to know that in the emotional
emotional
heat of a tense situation we're not
going to go through a checklist of questions
questions
such as our in the preceding paragraph
but we can and should develop the habit
of thinking this way
oftentimes our immediate response to an
unjust action of someone else will
be sinful anger well this is certainly true
true
of me but in the after moments of a
difficult episode
we can choose to continue to hold on to
our anger
or we can reflect on such questions as i
have given
and allow the holy spirit to dissolve
our anger
i have no doubt there are a myriad of
the circumstances or actions of other
people that
tempt us to be angry but they can never
cause us to be angry the cause
always lies within our hearts
usually as a result of our pride and selfishness
selfishness
there are probably expectations or
excuse me
there are probably exceptions to this
that prove the rule
but apart from those it is safe to say that
that
all of us get angry from time to time
the issue is how we handle it
some people tend to externalize their
anger in strong
usually hurtful language others will
externalize it in more
subtle ways such as belittling or making
sarcastic comments
to or about the persons or person
who was the object of their anger and
then there's the third group
who tend to internalize their anger in
the form of resentment
all of these expressions of anger are sin
sin
so how should we handle our anger in a
god-honoring way
first we have to recognize and
acknowledge our anger
and the sinfulness of it we cannot deal
with anger until we acknowledge its presence
presence
then we need to ask ourselves why we
became angry
was it because of our pride or
selfishness or some
idol of the heart we are protecting
if so we need to repent not only of our anger
anger
but also of our pride our selflessness
in our idolatry having to some extent
dealt with the expression of our anger
through recognition and repentance
we need to change our attitude toward
the person
or persons whose words or actions
triggered our anger here the words of
scripture from paul's pen
should be our god in ephesians 4 32
be kind to one another tenderhearted
forgiving one another
as god in christ forgave you and again
from paul in colossians 3 13
bearing with one another and if one has
a complaint against another
forgiving each other as the lord has
forgiven you
so you also must forgive
if we have expressed our angered
outwardly we also need to seek the
forgiveness of the person we have wounded
wounded
by our anger finally we need to
hand over to god the occasion of our anger
anger
this is especially true when we find
ourselves the objects
of someone else's anger or the objects
of unjust treatment by a boss an
overbearing husband or anyone who treats
us unjustly or unfairly
to dissolve our sinful emotions we must believe
believe
that god is absolutely sovereign in all
the affairs of our lives
both good and bad and that all the words
and actions of other people that tempt
us to anger
are somehow included in his wise and
good purposes
to make us more like jesus we must
realize that any given situation that
tempts us to anger
can drive us either to sinful anger or
to christ and his
earlier in this chapter i acknowledge
that the subject of anger is complex and
that addressing it significantly is
beyond the purpose of this book
but i hope i have helped us to realize
that most of our anger truly is
sinful and though we may excuse it and
tolerate it in our lives
it is not acceptable to god now before
leaving this subject there is one more
faucet of anger we need to consider
that is the subject of anger towards god
i have encountered a number of
christians who are angry at god for some reason
reason
some of them think that god has let them
others feel that god is actually against
them now i sit here now
looking at a letter in which the writer
says i have felt so many times
that he has slapped me in the face when
i was really depending on him
this person freely admitted to being
angry at god
because she had concluded that god was actually
actually
against her now what are we to say to
people who are desperately
hurting and feel that god has let them
down or is even against them
is it okay to be angry toward god most
pop psychology would answer yes
just vent your feelings towards god i've
even read the statement
it's okay to be angry at god he's a big
boy he can handle it
well in my judgment that is sheer blasphemy
blasphemy
i'm quoting jerry bridges let me make a
it is never okay to be angry at god
anger is a moral judgment and in the
case of god
it accuses him of wrongdoing it accuses
god of sinning against us by neglecting
us or in some way treating us unfairly
it is also often a response to our
thinking that god owes us a better deal
a better deal in life than what we are
getting now
and as a result we put god in the dark
of our own courtroom
i think of a man who as his mother was
dying of cancer said
after all she's done for god this is the thing
thing
she gets now never mind that jesus
suffered untold agony to pay for
her sins so she would not spend eternity
in hell
this man thought that god also owed her
a better life on this earth
now i acknowledge that believers can and
do have
momentary flashes of anger a god
i've experienced this myself but we
should quickly recognize those
occurrences as the sins
that they are and repent of them
how then can we deal with our temptation
to be angry at god
we must we just stuff our feelings
and live in some degree of alienation
from god
no that is not biblical solution
the answer lies first of all as i have
said before in chapter 8
in a well-grounded trust in the
sovereignty wisdom and love of god
second we should bring our confusion and
perplexity to god in a humble
trusting way we can pray somewhat in the
following fashion
god i know that you love me and i also
know that
your ways are often beyond my understanding
understanding
i admit i am confused at this time
because i do not see the evidence of
your love toward me
help me by the power of your spirit to
trust you
and not give into temptation to be angry
at you
now remember also that our god is a
forgiving god
even our anger toward him which i
consider a grievous sin
was paid for by christ and his death on
the cross
so if you have anger in your heart
toward god
i invite you no i urge you
to come to him in repentance and
experience the cleansing power of
christ's blood
shed on the cross for you i believe that
many christians live in denial about
their anger
they conscientiously experience the
flare-up of negative thoughts and
emotions towards someone who has
displeased them
but they do not identify this anger especially
especially
as sinful anger
they focus on the other person's
wrongdoing and justify their own reaction
reaction
they do not see their sin consequently
their anger is acceptable to them
they sense no need to deal with it and i
pray that god will be pleased to use
this chapter to help all of us
whether our anger is occasional or frequent
frequent
recognize it as a sin that is and
take appropriate steps to deal with it
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