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Stress Introduction Live Lecture

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okay here we are we're moving on to

uh stress okay so

stress all of us experience stress right

how many people in here are stressed out

you could say that like five times again

yeah 500 times right

uh let's see if anyone chats in the chat

box stressed

yes no is there anyone out there who

doesn't stress

you just you don't experience a lot of

stress in your life

all right hannah i think that's a yes

that you stress

but i just asked a confusing question uh

here are saying lots of stress and i'm

saying yes to stress

okay so i am oh okay daniel absolutely i

stress i

stress out all the time and so this

is quite possibly well may have been one

of the most important chapters for me in

gen psych but i think that it quite

possibly could be one of the most

impactful chapters

for you guys as well um it's something

that's very

real world life for us and we can learn

stuff here that can change

our way of handling stress our way of

dealing with reality and the different crises

crises

that we encounter um okay

i my life was changed literally by that

how to make stress your friend i've

posted it for you guys

um we're not going to go over it right

now although i really really want to

because it did change my life um but

we're going to run out of time i don't

want to run out of time i want to get

through all this content

um so you all watch the ted talk and

pick up why this

is so important i mean for me i

literally cry by the end of that

ted talk um and i okay

yeah i'm gonna stop myself there's so

many beautiful things in it like

absolutely beautiful

absolutely incredibly beautiful you know

and part of the core

is it matters how we think about stress

so we find that stress exists on a continuum

so we get to decide one what is and is

not stressful and two how we think about stress

stress

and both of those factors matter tremendously

we decide one what is

i don't know if you all can hear and i

almost don't want to draw attention to this

this

um there's a lot of talking going on

around me do you all hear it

there's uh something playing in the

classroom behind me and then there's

somebody has their

their door open to their classroom um so

i'm hearing two different lectures going

on i hope you all can't hear it

uh because it made you drive you a

little bit crazy i i

it's loud um but the reason i'm bringing

it up one is distracting me but it

highlights what

selective attention is we're just

talking about sensational perception

selective attention i can decide right

now and i control this so it's part of

perception i can control that i'm not

going to listen to all that noise

and i'm just going to focus on what i'm

doing right here we get to direct kind

of the flashlight of our attention

our consciousness so a quiz and exam question

question

if you hear your name set across a room

and you're having a conversation over

here but you hear your name

and you stop listening to that person

you listen to over there what are they

saying about me

you're using selective attention that's

the answer to that question so anyway

it's just real live a

life example of what's going on with me

right now okay

how we think about stress matters is it

we should get to a place we think about

it as our friend and that's what that

ted talk proves and argues and is really

really impactful

when you think about stress as your friend

friend

your physiological response actually

changes your blood vessels do not

constrict they relax

your physiology is that of courage like

it's a courage response um instead of a stress

stress

uh unhealthy response um and so it

ends up helping extending our life if we

think of stress as a friend

ends up protecting our cardiovascular system

system

our bodies are well designed for

temporary stress

they are poorly designed for chronic stress

stress

and how you think about it all matters

when it comes to how long that stress

response is

going to last so let's see what do i

stress is the interpretation

our stress response is the physical

um and psychological reactions to stress

you see here that stressors are actual

events so stressors are objective events

they're triggers

um so we kind of have a bunch of

different little mini definitions here

but i think that what's important is

there's an interpretive

part of stress and it's thinking

that something out there is threatening or

challenging meaning maybe we don't have

the resources

to combat what we're facing so with the

intensity of stress

of resources

so why does our stress response kick in

because we think oh my gosh this is a challenge

challenge

oh my gosh i don't know if i have the

ability the resources the know-how

the internal resources the external

resources in order to combat this

this this thing that i'm facing so we go

into kind of this hyperdrive

um i think that it's really important

to point out again perception of

resources so

i can i have two different types of students

students

you know that show up stressed up

stressed out on exam day

there's one student that's stressed and

has test anxiety and is crying

even though they have studied and

studied and studied and studied

and they know the content but for some reason

reason

they don't believe they know the content

they don't believe they have the

resources in order to combat

the stressor the exam in order to

succeed at the exam

they think that they didn't study enough

they think they don't know the

information they think they're somehow

not smart enough or they have some kind

of fundamental insecurity that they

don't believe in themselves and their

own resources their own knowledge

so they sit down and they freak out and

they have this like

really uh stressed out moment and stress response

response

and then maybe the stress response stops

them from succeeding

because we do find that cortisol can do

some weird things

to uh ability to uh bring up memories it

can make you just completely freeze

um and we'll talk about that in one of

the uh pre-recorded lectures

it's like i can see sometimes i call on

someone in class and if they just go blank

blank

it's just they shut down they freeze

um and they're having the stress

response because maybe they're shy and

they don't like to speak up in class

um and so i have those students that

show up and even though they've studied

they have a stress response and then

there's another group that shows up and

freaks out

because they really didn't study and

they really

don't have the resources and it's their

understanding that they know they don't

have the resources

they didn't study they're not going to

be able to succeed on the exam

but what's interesting is that the

stress response is the same

for those two students even though

their resources are very different it

has to do with the

interpretation and the perception of

their resources

so it matters how you think stress is incredibly

incredibly

cool from a psychological perspective because

because

it psychology matters like we

actually can impact our thinking can

impact our physiological response

um our way of perceiving ourselves in

reality can

impact so much here okay so let me go

through anything else with this section

um i used to think about

stress as the enemy i used to you know

i'm somebody who i've said to you all

guys i i'm insecure

i was always insecure and i'm shy

um and so i would think about classroom

settings where i would get called on

and i would freak the heck out and i

would think oh my gosh what's wrong with

me i'm freaking out here and

you know everybody else is like calm and

they're able to handle the situation better

better

and i felt like my stress was my weakness

weakness

i thought oh my gosh if i could just

calm down maybe i could handle this

i had to get to a point that i could

change that thinking

that you are actually almost like super

human when you're stressed out in the

short term your body

kicks in and all of a sudden is giving

you access to

tons of physiological resources the ted

talk talks about how

your heart pounds preparing you for

action um

taking uh oxygenated blood to important

parts of the body

uh your heart rate it goes up it's

working hard to give you strength and

energy uh your breathing

increases you need more oxygen to the brain

brain

you can think about all of this stuff

that you know that some people

can tap into their stress response and

do incredible things i haven't

looked up you know to see the validity

of these stories but what i always think

about is that mom whose child

is getting crushed by something and all

of a sudden they can lift

that item that normally they wouldn't be

able to lift

you can access strength that you

normally can't access

because your body is like has your back

it thinks hey

let's activate everything get them to

fight this

empower them and then there's this other

beautiful part of stress

that your body tells you you're not

alone because it releases oxytocin

oxytocin is a cuddle hormone but it's

actually a stress hormone your body

releases oxytocin when you're stressed

to say hey you don't have to suffer

through this alone

you're not alone you're loved reach out

to people and when you reach out to people

people

you get more of that oxytocin and you

feel even more so you're not alone

you're loved and oxytocin

is it heals the heart um it regenerates

the heart so it's an incredibly

beautiful way that our body is designed

to handle stress

and you've got to realize in the short

term stress is beautiful and wonderful

and can make you superhuman

so now whenever i walk into a room and

for some reason i'm stressed i'm nervous

i think okay this is great my body's got

my back

i've got access to it all i'm gonna

succeed right now

um and i use it as a powerful moment

um and because i think about it that way

i don't end up in a state of chronic

stress which is bad for us

okay so i want to talk about

gosh it's hard to know exactly what i

i think it's important to talk about

life changes because if we're talking about

handling of reality and our

interpretation you know

of resources our perception of resources

uh change it's something it becomes

obvious that we do not like

change because we do not know what to expect

expect

and so we don't have a plan for dealing

with that situation

and so we automatically think we don't

have the resources to combat this

because we don't have prior knowledge of

it we don't have a plan we don't have

all of this stuff

so life changes are a source of stress

any life change

of stress so here is where i normally

talk about the social adjustment

social homes and raise social

they are going they come up with a list

of what they consider to be the most

stressful things that can happen in

someone's life uh

according to the amount of life change

that it

involves and then they put a number

to each of those like a life change

level um and then they say okay in the

past year how many of these things

have you experienced you mark them

and then you add up all of the points

for those things that you've experienced

and it gives you a total

and that total has to do with your

likelihood for illness so the higher the

number the more

likely you are to get sick

so what do you all think

is the most stressful thing that can

happen to someone

what do you all think uh would it be

like the death of somebody

that you're intimately close with or

spend a lot of time with

i would think that would be the where do

you think if you could identify one

person this is kind of getting morbid

no your spouse yeah it's death of a spouse

spouse

um i'm pulling up the scale now i have a

lot of it memorized but not all of it

and some people and i've never looked

into this too much

of this specific question but i just you know

know

based off of logic i have an answer um

you know

the question has popped up well why

isn't it death of a child

isn't death of a child the the most uh

heartbreaking thing you can possibly go

through um

and i think we've got to clarify we're

not talking about emotional

pain here we're talking about stress

we're talking about life change and you

think about your relationship to your

spouse versus your relationship to your child

child

you know you a child is a bit of a stressor

stressor

and a bit of a stress i mean a lot a big stressor

stressor

um you know you have to take care of

them you have to worry about them you

have to

feed them and clothe them and love them

and you know all

of that and it's you taking care of them

um with a spouse it's your other half

it's your partner

it's the person that handles life with

you it's a person that takes care of you

and yes you take care of them

but you can think about just on like a

an objective kind of

in an objective way um what if one of y'all

y'all

you know if you need to both incomes in

order to have a full income in order to

run your household

you lose half of that income

well you know the stress of trying to

recover plus the heartache

um you know we could look at okay well

maybe only one person works and the

other person stays home

but if you lose the person that stays

home who's going to now stay home and

take care of the kids

how is this one person that's supposed

to work all the time able to do both

okay and what if you lose a person

that's supporting you and now you don't

have any way to support yourself to stay

home with the kids

do you just look at financially it would

be an absolute nightmare when it comes

to life change

um or you can look at just how you

divide the chores in the household i

think about something as simple as

i load the dishwasher and chad unloads

the dishwasher what if there's no one

there to unload the dishwasher i mean

i know it's a simple little thing but in

a relationship it's

a million of those little things that

makes that person your partner and so to

lose them your entire life would change

um with a child it's maybe more hard

heartbreaking it's hard to compare grief

and pain

um but i've heard it is the most

heartbreaking because it just defies

all logic and what's supposed to happen um

and so it may be more heartbreaking but now

now

you don't have that child to take care

of um

and so it's just a little bit different

in terms of life change

and adjustment and stress what do y'all

maybe you losing your job yeah that's on here

here

um oh number eight being fired at work

yeah so yeah you got that one um we're

gonna go with i'll just read them to you

guys it's surprising okay someone else

has said yeah losing a job

um number two is divorce so you find

that all of the first ones have to do

with your partner

number three is marital separation i

mean it just shows the importance of

marital

separation you've gotten used to

operating with this partner and now

what they're gone the next one uh

detention in jail

yeah that can stress people out i could

go down a long

uh rabbit hole there i'm trying to go quicker

quicker

but you you lose all freedoms you know when

when

when you're locked up and you all of a

sudden realize

that our freedoms are not as guaranteed

as we think that they are that someone

can take that away from us

everything about your life or change if

you are locked up and then you think about

about

um once you're released from prison or

from jail and the fact that there's a

record and now you have to contend with that

that

and it just creates all of this stress

uh this fear is it gonna close doors for you

you

all kinds of things um we'll talk about

that more when we get to the drug

chapter okay a death of a close family member

six is major personal injury or illness

i'm going to stop writing these

um the next one is marriage itself why

do i want to mention that

good things can be stressful

winning the lottery can be extremely

stressful marriage can be extremely

stressful having a baby

can be extremely stressful so stressors

aren't just

negative things they can be wonderful

things but they cause a lot of life

change a marriage is going to change

everything having a baby

pregnancy is number 12 is going to

change everything retirement from work

is going to change everything that's

number 10

a reconciliation with your partner

number nine

um so getting back together again your

whole way of operating changes you went

to a single

you know lifestyle now you're back

together so it's a mixture

of a good and bad y'all i just for the

first time saw that number 24 is trouble

with your in-laws

that's hilarious i've never seen that before

before

30 troubles with your boss um so we

could look more at

sources of stress and i'm struggling

right now to remember if i talk about these

these

i don't think i do before so let's go

through them uh because i just hear okay

well we're identifying a lot of sources

of stress um

we could look at sources of chronic stress

chronic stress is that continuous

and this is bad this is the enemy bad

you do

not want to end up in a state of chronic stress

so think of stress as your friend and

then your stress response should shut down

down

you shouldn't stay activated okay

a continuous state of arousal in which demands

than the inner and outer

continuous is the key word here that

looks wrong [Music]

[Music]

i don't know okay that looks wrong to me

maybe i type out here but that's how i

have it spelled

um but it's continuous it just keeps

going on and on and on so what do you

all think sources of continuous stress

think about the themes that just keep

stressing you out constantly in your life

life

i think low uh social economic status

um or income poverty money problems definitely

every single month it doesn't stop and

so you

have all these uh you know challenges

out there these demands

um and you don't have the resources for

dealing with them you get a phone bill

that's fifty dollars and you only have

ten dollars in your bank account

yeah you don't have the resources so of

course you're going to feel stressed

what if you lose your house

what if you the lights turn off what if

you don't have money for food or for gas

and what's so incredibly frustrating is

a lot of times people are born into

money problems

and it's just this cycle that's been

there in your family for so long

life is so incredibly unfair and it's

really hard to get out

of a situation where there's low income

and there's money problems it's really

really hard and then

it's really easy to have your money make more

money babies you know the people that

are really really wealthy it's easy for

them to go out and succeed and start

their own business and multiply

you know their money through investments

like it's just so incredibly unfair so yes

yes

money problems is a huge source of

chronic stress for a lot of people

think about the things that would just

endlessly bother you

um possibly losing a home

or let's say you're kicked out that

would be a chronic stress that um

it doesn't really end because at the end

because you're basically having having to

rebuild yourself up so that could be a

chronic form of stress

yes so and it could be related one to

financial issues not being able to

afford your own place but it could also

be related to relationship problems or

let's put

bad relationships toxic relationships

so we could go a bunch of different

directions with this

um but let's think of you know huh well

yeah family that like maybe won't

support you or doesn't believe in you or

is constantly

putting you down or there's constant

toxicity in fights

i mean you can get your energy up to go

try for something but then every time

you go around this family it just

exhausts you

and there's all this stuff that's

constantly happening and you just don't

have the energy

or the i don't know the strengths to

continue to deal with this

to meet these demands and it's just a

constant constant problem that seems

like you can't

solve it um and so it may be you know

family issues

um it may be a bad marriage um

gosh this could be on a lot at like

different levels of the scale but you

can think about

an abusive marriage um where it just

goes on and on and on and maybe someone

feels like they can't get out

you know there's a lot of women out

there and it's it's like people look at

these situations they're like well she

should just leave

but no you know and it's typically the

woman that's been

abused um it's not that easy

you know a lot of times the guy has

created the situation

where she is unable to leave whether

it's because of fear

uh for her own uh health and life

or that of her loved ones um or if it's because

because

you know slowly and it's something to

watch for is somebody

taking away your independence where you

know you don't have an

education and you don't have a job and

you don't have a way to make money and

you don't have social connections

because they're keeping you more and

more and more isolated

and helping them to do whatever that

they need um and so

a lot of times in those abusive

situations the woman slowly gets into a situation

situation

that she doesn't know how to get out she

doesn't talk to anyone

she doesn't have an education she can't

find a job

and sometimes the fact that she can't

support herself

she thinks if i leave them and maybe

there's kids how am i going to support

my kids

the only way to support these kids is to

stay in this abusive marriage at least

he's providing for them

and maybe they think slowly i can try to

find a way but then there's no way

because he's ultra controlling we have

to have understanding for people that

end up in these situations

because it's not simple it's way more

complex and they feel like they can't

get out

you know there's other a different

totally different type of marriage

i'm thinking about something we talk

about in lifespan development

a lot of people believe you know get

married within

a certain religion within a certain

church and when you do that you're

making a commitment to god

not just to um that person

uh you're committing you know promising

god that you're gonna love this person

for better or for worse for the rest of

your life and god blesses your marriage

um i have seen situations where it the

marriage ends up being bad

but people feel an obligation to stay in

it because of their promise to god

um and that the abuse is just the bad

that they have to accept

um and i i know you can say well that's

not what the religion wants and that's

not what god wants but there's people

that get in that situation and that's

how they feel they cannot leave the marriage

marriage

and so it's just this constant source of pain

pain

and of stress and they don't know how to

fix it

um you can see some awful awful

situations that are very hard to get out of

okay um

bad beards anymore uh money problems uh

job stress i'm gonna start listing some

here job stress

uh changes you know in your job

unemployment worries about your job

uh performance issues um

maybe just having a bad boss

or a bad environment uh jobs can stress

people out and seems to be

over and over every single day they're

just stressed out because of that job

we find that leaders and this is some

research and

you know i'm hesitant to say it because

you know we think about it and

ah but you think maybe the ceo would be

the most stressed out person out of everyone

everyone

but some research shows the opposite

that the leaders have less stress

than the people that are under them

leaders experience

lower levels of stress and have higher

levels of control in their work

environment so it comes down to control

i got to plug in my computer

you know if the ceo or the owner of the company

company

is having a bad day something happens in

their family

they can just not show up a lot of times

they get to call the shots they get to

make the rules

so they have a lot of control and you

know and therefore a lot of the

resources could combat different things

going on in their lives

uh they're empowered in order to do

stuff one with control

um whereas if you are somebody who's you

know really low kind of

on the ladder um you say even something

happens like awful like somebody dies

maybe they give you three days off and

then they expect you to be back at work

you can't just say no i can't do this

right now

um you don't have enough control and

enough power

to fix the situation so that you can

reduce the stress

and take care of yourself so there's a

question of leaders

have more control and then possibly

now you may say well a small business

owner you know they're in charge and

they are incredibly stressed yeah that's

a different situation than i think

what we're thinking of here um and

sometimes you have someone really high up

like here you know you could have the

president but he's got a board that he

has to make happy so

you know maybe he could find himself

really stressed out

um okay uh uh two more things

social lives do you all think

social lives can be chronically stressful

stressful

a chronic source of stress a source of

chronic stress

totally um i think it can go two ways

like a you don't have a whole lot of

social interactions

and so like the cognitive effects of

that which like

clearly leads to a lot of mental diseases

diseases

and then the other side of that is like

um like there's a lot of friends that we

have that live in

highland park and that such like a tight knit

knit

um area yeah and they constantly feel like

they're being invaded on if they don't

have like a free

choice i mean i i relate to that of like

being in a church environment where it

was like

to the point where it was unhealthy and then

then

just like feeling like we couldn't make

free decisions kind of like what you're

talking about with the marital thing but as

it relates to life in general you didn't

have freedom

and so yes um

i think it goes two ways so pressure you know

know

uh fear of judgment or

you know pressure or demands and expectations

expectations

and you don't want to let people down

and you don't want to do something wrong

in somebody else's

eyes and you care about what they think

so if you are surrounded by a tight-knit

community and friends it can

almost end up feeling suffocating at

times like you don't have the freedom to

just do what you want because there's

always someone watching you and there's

all these

pressures and expectations and judgments

and you want people to like you and you

care about what they think and so you

want to make them happy so even if you

have tons of friends

you're stressed out but then the

opposite side

if you don't have any you still want

people to like you and you still

care about what others think and then

you start worrying why don't i have any friends

friends

and other people have friends look at

them you know or look you know

daniel said you know that he's part of a

community well i'm not part of community

i want to be part of community and then

you watch you know the tv show like friends

friends

or uh gosh what's another how i met your mother

mother

all these tv shows put these images of these

these

super close-knit friend groups where

everyone has like

five amazing best friends that you're

around all the time

that's not reality you all i cannot tell you

you

how many people come into my office i mean

mean

it's like 90 percent and say that they

don't have any friends

and they really want friends

people are hurting and stressed out

because they think something's wrong

with them or their life is lacking

because they don't have friends

but we do have that opposite side of the

coin where if you do have a community

you do have friends

then you have all of this pressure and

then you have this weird middle zone

maybe you don't have real life irl

friends uh you know in real life friends um

but you have a ton of social media

friends well what does that feel what

does social media do to our lives to our

overall life satisfaction and to our

stress levels uh madison saying yes

trying to balance social life and responsibilities

responsibilities

thing that i just i want to figure it

out i remember being in college and

thinking how do i balance this

how do i balance my relationship and my school

school

and my career and my family and my best friends

friends

our lives are so full we're trying to do

so much

in the modern world it is just so much

and it's hard to figure out the balance

and what truly matters

you know where are our priorities uh

here social media can cause chronic stress

stress

from the beauty standards and so this

and i think that we hear it a little bit

in what you know daniel was describing

when you're part of community

especially one like the highland park

community there is a lot of social

comparison and you think of

keeping up with the joneses now keeping

up with the jones

joneses is on steroids because of social media

media

you can see this picture into everyone's

lives and then guess what

the pictures aren't accurate but we even

if we know that

we don't really know that when we're

viewing it when i scroll through social

media and i see oh my gosh someone just

got a perfect puppy

oh and somebody else just had their

fourth child oh and somebody just had

the perfect wedding

oh and somebody just bought you know a

brand new whatever you're like well it's

stuff no but it matters it gets in our head

head

and we think i don't have that i don't

have a dog i haven't had kids

i haven't gotten married what am i doing

with my life oh

my thing's shut down uh i think y'all

are still there right i think it's just

my ipad

all right i think it's just ipad y'all

give me something yeah we're good

i'm here like talking about social media

and shuts down um

um so you know you can think oh i don't

have all that what am i doing with my life

life

am i not good enough and then you log on

and you see oh my gosh look at all these

people from

colin got together and went out to

dinner they

i'm in that class they didn't invite me

why am i getting excluded and then it

makes you feel bad

you know fear of missing out is a huge

thing let me try to get the whiteboard

so we see that social media usage drives stress

stress

and hurts life satisfaction the more

friends you have on social media the more

stressed you are the more time you spend

on social media

the more stressed you are the lower your

levels of day-to-day happiness

the lower your levels of feelings of

life satisfaction

the higher your levels of depression due

to social comparison

uh fear of exclusion pressure to

entertain fear of missing out

um and so we find that all of the

research on social media

says this is really really bad for our

mental health

yet how many of us are addicted to it

how many of y'all

mindlessly throat scroll through some

kind of

social media platform on a day-to-day basis

oh gosh it worked

sometimes just depends depends

daniel's trying to quit he currently

and maybe you know i think i mentioned

one of these times the

social dilemma on netflix y'all should

watch it it shows that

society is really controlling us through

our phones um

and it's really quite scary um yeah it's

really really interesting and so i

advise everyone watch that and think

about their actions at least

or their decisions with their usage at

least turn off your notifications

don't give them that power uh to control you

you

um kira does a lot of scrolling i think

that acadia

i'm doing i said sometimes you know i'm

not a big social media person i'm not actively

actively

adding friends or posting or anything

like that yet still

like every night before i go to sleep i

happen to open like the facebook app

and just scroll and then every you know

night before i go to bed so when i wake

up and when i go to bed

i scroll that is such a horrible way to

start my day and yet it's a habit

something that i'm addicted to so we've

got i want everyone to think about their

technology and social media usage and

what it's doing

to their life and if they want to

continue uh to use it or change anything

about it

okay i'm trying to get the whiteboard

back up but we had social media stress

you know one of the two last things i

said to two before but

um minor hassles can add up and create a

major source of stress i'm going to do

something different here

since we're having issues um

it's your screen whiteboard some people

are going to be like you should do this

all the time but i don't want to i like

writing so i try to not roll this way out

out

very often let me type

okay so we say socialize see y'all are

gonna be like oh i can read

okay um so we find more friends

on social media equals more stress

more time on social media

equals more stress lower levels

of life satisfaction satisfaction

uh we think about social comparison and

fear of missing out okay and then i was

about to say minor hassles can add up

and form a major source of chronic

stress um

minor hassles of daily life there are

some authorities

on stress that believe that hassles can

be more significant than major life events

events

in creating stress minor these

than major life events

um i think about just all of them piling

up it's the little things yeah when you

talk about love it's the little things

that makes you

you know love someone and that makes you

happy in a relationship

but it's also in the little things that

make life rich and wonderful

but it's also the little things that can

make life

awful or a relationship awful or make

you really dislike someone

the little things add up and they mean something

something

okay um with this we can think about

self-imposed stress

there are some people who interpret

everything under the sun

as stressful and maybe there's a

fundamental kind of

insecurity or maybe there's just a

negative way of viewing the world

they find that at some point i think i

mentioned in the other lecture

gosh what is it uh sinuses um some kind of

um sarcastic sinus

pessimistic yeah

i and i don't want to say the word again

i just said it but i don't know

um y'all look for it in the other

lecture that it's this

cynical uh maybe

why does cynicism sound so wrong it's right

right

insecurity talking about insecure people

here i am

i think that it's like this sarcastic

um can really really be bad for your

health um it's just a really negative

way pessimistic way of viewing the world

that can end up causing like you know

cardiovascular problems because all of

the stress response has to do with the

cardiovascular system

uh and so we've got to talk about that

um but we see that certain ways of being

can create just chronic constant chronic stress

stress

so it may be something like that or it

could be

irrational self-defeating

beliefs that

add unnecessarily to the normal stresses

of life

quite apart from stressful events in

i do think some people get addicted to

addiction to negativity

and drama because sometimes when you are

negative and you complain

you somehow get reassurance and

validation from the world or at least

some kind of attention

so then you continue to be negative and complain

complain

also people tend to bond through like

negative things like let's bond through

having a common enemy so everybody

complain about the boss and that'll all

bond us together but really we're

spending all of our

time talking about how all these bad

things and it can end up being just a

way of viewing the world that creates problems

problems

and creates stress i really think people

get addicted to

these ways of interacting you find work environments

environments

where everyone connects by complaining

and you join the conversation and build bonds

bonds

by uh complaining and by being negative um

and by adding to drama or you create

drama in order to get yourself some love

and some validation and some attention

okay so how much time do i have i have

okay so i know some of you all have to

get on with your day so i am actually going

going

to stop this recording today i'm

creating three little mini recordings

um i am going to stick around and i am

going to talk about

uh the physiological response to stress

and conflicts

um and i will post that content for you

guys i totally

understand if anyone wants to leave in

fact i'm going to end this recording

right now so i'm going to say goodbye to everyone

everyone

that's watching this recording thank you

so much for watching this and if people

are leaving that are

on live thank you so much for joining us okay

okay

where is the stop record button is it

even recording

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Stress Introduction Live Lecture