Somebody nated my compound. [laughter] [screaming]

[laughter]

WHAT WAS THAT?

HELL HELL NO, BRO. [laughter]

All Seal Team Six heard when they broke

That's what 1400 hours of experience

sounds like, boys. [laughter]

People that are lactose intolerant when

I expose them to 3 million pounds of radiation.

radiation. [laughter]

[laughter]

What does lactose have anything to do

with anything? [laughter]

This is the most like fitting race for

the stolen jokes format.

Most fitting race for what?

The stolen jokes format. Like the Tik

Tok [ __ ]

So far, this is like the most accurate race.

race.

Except they're like nailing it. No problem.

problem.

Let's steal someone else's joke. Let's

do it back to them.

Oh, true, dude. Uh,

we use some comedy.

Knock knock.

Who's there? Uh, James Charles.

James Charles. Who? James Charles gay man.

man. [laughter]

Oh no. You wrong for that. You wrong for

that. [laughter]

You wrong for that.

Emoji time seven.

What did the priest say to the little boy?

boy?

What? Man,

something illegal. [laughter]

So funny, mate.

What did you say to God?

What? Dude,

I am God. [laughter]

He was looking in the mirror.

So stupid. [laughter]

[laughter]

I'm going to just end it after that one.

Shoot it anyway. Stop resisting.

I KILLED HIM. I KILLED HIM. I KILLED

HIM. IT WAS WE DID IT. WE DID IT, GUYS.

WE DID IT.

OH, YEAH.

HE WAS wearing a yellow hoodie. HERE HE IS.

IS.

WE SAVED THE DAY.

WE SAVED the day.

Oh, it was Did you also shoot this civilian?

civilian?

All right.

No, he's already dead. I think

he's already been here,

guys. We completed the mission. Everyone

hit page up. That was easy.

Page up. Page up.

Oh, that's actually just a mission.

WE'RE DONE.

YEAH. [screaming]

LET'S GO.

WE DID IT.

LET'S GO, DUDE. WE GOT SOME XP, DUDE. We

got some

I don't think we did. I don't think we did.

did.

POSITIVE. LET'S GO.

OH, [laughter] NEVER MIND.

Unauthorized use of just a D. A

pig. I'm scared. I don't have anything.

Every black person ever.

All right. [laughter] Okay.

All right.

All right. Listen, guys. You guys please

need to stop. I'm I'm asking you very

nicely. [laughter] I just see a tug.

Hey yo, what was that?

Oh, sorry, misclick.

Was that a tugboat?

It was a penis.

I'll tug your penis. [snorts]

Hey yo, please stop.

I love working out with my boyfriend on

my lap.

Well, yeah, it is nice to have a gym,

buddy. But

hey, hey,

bounce on that thing.

Oh, his dump is going to make me puke. [laughter]

[laughter]

Can I ask one thing? What are you What

are What is your intent on the server?

Like what are you doing? Like I'm I'm

trying to be the the nicest possible but

you guys are starting to work on my

nerves a bit. [laughter]

Hello Perry and Ice.

Please can you guys stop? I I ask you

very nicely. Please. [laughter] Okay.

Okay.

Can you guys stop, please? [laughter]

I'm going to let you guys go. If it's

going to be a ban for both of you if you

guys carry on videoing people. All right.

All right.

So, I'm just working out.

I I understand. I understand. But

the only intent we have on this server

is to get some gains, man.

All right, guys. I'm going to let you

guys go, right? And then please stop.

All right.

What kind of lock is this?

Probably a combination.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. What kind of lock

is this?

Sorry. Don't get it. Yeah. Can you do it

again? [sighs]

If I must. What kind of lock is this?

I don't get it.

Could you explain it?

Wait. Wait. Is it a joke?

[laughter]

Say it one word at a time, but like put

an emphasis on the punch line.

This feels like a fever dream. And I

feel like I'm playing with Qubble cop

right now. [laughter]

I don't know much about Quueble Cop.

Me either.

His grandpa owned a slave. I know that. What?

What?

Yeah. And he forced her to marry him and

and then Quubble Cop tweeted that and

said, "Love is love, guys. You could

marry anyone." [snorts]

Wait, really?

It's a genuine tweet he made. No, I

think it was his great grandpa. He said

So Qubble K, you're telling me Quebevel

K is at least a quarter or an eighth slave?

slave?

That is how genetics work, [laughter]

I guess. dick.

dick.

I don't know. Let me draw the punit

square to figure it out. [snorts] [laughter]

[laughter]

Well, how many reparations do we owe

him? How much? We must owe him something.

something.

Maybe one GTA race funny moment. Is that

Yeah. Yeah, probably.

Maybe one extremely monetized father

dying vlog.

True. That could be it.

One base boosted EDM intro after

announcing father's death intro. [laughter]

[laughter]

Better Wi-Fi connection from heaven. I

don't know.

Google fiber in hell.

Did he say that?

Yeah. Yeah,

in no shot he said that there was Wi-Fi

connection in heaven. That was not in

the Old or the New Testament. And it

definitely [laughter] wasn't in Revelations,

Revelations,

this nursing home is heaven. It's got

Wi-Fi. He goes to actual heaven. He goes

to the ply gates. Jesus is like, [snorts]

[snorts]

"We don't have internet up here. We're

still on paper [laughter] cables.

The best we can do is with our VIP

package, we got dial up."

But like anytime somebody prays to you,

like it kicks you off the internet. [laughter]

So really related to that one. You

[laughter] like that one?

GOD DAMN IT. WHO'S PRAYING ON THE OTHER

I love when when uh when restaurants

name their their burger after it. Let me

get the the Travis Trump burger. Travis

Trit burger. [laughter]

Let me get the Luke Combmes fries.

Can I get the Reeba mac and cheese? [laughter]

Can I get that Tim McLaw? [laughter]

Oh my god.

Can I get some of that Toby beef? [laughter]

[laughter]

Oh my god. I want to [ __ ] I want to

go to a restaurant where everything is

[laughter] just named after [ __ ]

country singers now. Can I get a glass

of that Florida Georgia wine?

Oh my god.

Okay. [laughter] I hate this.

Kill yourself.

You can do this all day long.

Please tell me you're thinking of more

of them right now.

I'm trying. [laughter] The ones I'm

thinking of are shitty though. I'm a

little thirsty. Can I get the David

So shitty. Yeah. I'm going to want my my

steak Brooks and Well done. [laughter]

Oh,

I remember when Obama called a bunch of

people and it was kind of funny. It

was a good meme.

It did.

Dude, you just walked by the mailbox and

didn't even check it. You piece of [ __ ]

I'm taking the [ __ ] [laughter] shoot you.

you.

Yeah. Yeah. I dare you to try, [ __ ]

You like how people just aren't even [laughter]

Why did we do that?

It's the exact same time. moment. [laughter]

[laughter]

Oh, [ __ ]

Get out of here.

Hey, what's up, man? The hell you saying

get out of here for, [ __ ]

You're not the real Shut up. That's a soundboard.

soundboard.

[ __ ] you question me again, I'm going

to blow your [ __ ] top off, [ __ ]

[ __ ]

Say my name. Say Muhammad.

ME, FRIEND. MUHAMMAD.

THAT IS A SOUNDBOARD.

He thinks I'm a soundboard.

Yeah, tell it's like 96 hertz audio.

The [ __ ] are you talking about, man? Are

you insulting my my [ __ ] headset microphone?

microphone?

No, I'm not. Shut up right now.

I'm going to beat your ass, Muhammad. You

You

I want you to try, Muhammad. I want you

to try, [ __ ] Step to me, [ __ ]

Step to me.

Only if you want me to do it.

You going to learn today, Muhammad.

I've been a bad boy. [sighs]

[sighs]

Muhammad's scaring me.

Touch. Shut up.

Are we getting raided? Oh, WHAT THE [ __ ]

IS GOING ON? OH, [screaming]

What just happened? [laughter]

Our human collection chamber got raided.

[laughter] We only had one human for

sale, dude. What the [ __ ] It wasn't

even worth. [crying]

[crying]

What is going on? my back.

Okay. [laughter] I have no idea what

this is. Is so [ __ ] This little kid's [ __ ]

[ __ ]

Oh, wait. This

I'm in, boys. I'm in this.

I think I have sound. Yeah, I've got

sound this time.

Woohoo. No, [laughter] we don't.

in the long Mario?

WAHOO JUST [laughter] DIES for like 10 minutes.

minutes.

I have a feeling that like soup might be

a high. [laughter]

He probably couldn't take it 50 minutes

into this session and started smoking

because he was into [laughter] pain.

Just started eating every mushroom he

could find outdoors until something [laughter]

[laughter]

every brownie, every mushroom, everything.

everything. [laughter]

[laughter]

Every outdoor brownies

brownies

outside. [laughter]

I was walking around fresh. There were

freshly freshly baked brownies outside.

I love [laughter] when that happens.

A little brownie tree in the backyard.

I hate you guys.

I want to plant a lasagna.

I hate you guys.

I want to plant a lasagna tree in my

front yard.

Little brown bush. [laughter]

You know what? I don't like being in the

car. It's [ __ ] lame.

It's part of the experience.

It's [ __ ] I hate it.

It's Remy the rat roleplay.

Rim the rat.

Grenade or a flashbang [laughter] guard.

I will not rim the rat.

Oh, that's smoke.

Rim the rat. Welcome back to Dragon's

Den. We're going to rim the rat

today. I'm asking for $500,000 and you

[laughter]

An offer you can't refuse.

One photo.

It's like a crackhead outside of a pet,

Talking like a [ __ ] grocery store cashier.

Right now, you're going to win this. [laughter]

[laughter]

Okay, fine. You drive hard bargain. 5%

equity in the company. Fine. [laughter]

Rat's been dead for like 2 years.

Pulls it out of his cigarette pocket. [laughter]

[laughter]

It's like sundried. It's all crispy.

Sundried rimmed rats. [laughter]

Now at Arby's

some pickle juice.

We got rid of our [laughter] curly

fries. Our side's now rim dried.

Sundried rim rats. We [laughter] got We

got pickle rim rim rat. Pickle rim rats.

Oh my god.

It's new on the menu.

I have the uh chief of police uh PD car.

Okay. I like the sound of that. This is

the chief of police's Lamborghini.

Yeah. Only two people on the server have it.

it.

Who? You and the chief of police. [laughter]

[laughter]

Is this the one that doesn't go off the ground?

ground?

I spoke too soon. [laughter]

Yeah, usually it doesn't. Oh,

holy [ __ ]

Put me in A [ __ ] GTA.

WHAT A LANDING. OH MY GOD.

EDITOR, can we get an instant replay on

that one? Pull over now. Damn it. Pull

over. Hey, pull over. Pull over. Pull over.

over.

Pull over.

Pull over right now.

That car is like

Listen, gentlemen. Hey, hey, hey,

listen. You know why we pulled you over today?

today?

Why'd you put me on the side?

Cuz y'all some sexy [ __ ] Yeah.

Thank you, daddy.

No, but seriously, y'all are in trouble.

Step out of the car for me. [laughter]

All right. Now, uh, you going to have to

listen to my comrade here. Do everything

he tells you to.

All right. Hit F3.

Go to your emote menu. Pick any emote

you want. Okay.

Okay.

And it better look good or you're going

to [ __ ] jail tonight, boys.

Okay. Not bad. Not bad.

Not too shabby.

What do you got?

Hold on. I'm finding one. Don't worry. [laughter]

[laughter]

You got 5 seconds to start dancing or

Oh, [ __ ]

96. Okay. Damn. I didn't know you guys

were chill like that, man. You guys are

free to go, man. Have a good one.

Good day.

All right.

The car [laughter] is [ __ ] broken. We

can't even drive. I slam through him on

the way out of here. Just slam.

Hey, can you repair my car?

Yeah, we got you. [laughter]

That was just good wholesome fun, bro.

That was so epic. Awesome interaction

with random moment number seven.

Dude, what is this car? We're just

flying across the map. Maybe with Elon

charging everyone $8 a year to use

Instagram, we can get [laughter]

That's all wrong. Every time is wrong.

Okay. [laughter] You need to

free there.

[laughter] Not a single word in that

Video's been flagged for misinformation.

[laughter] Time to go to bed. Grandpa,

what the [ __ ] were you trying to say?

I was going to say maybe he can use that

money to make a pocket microwave. [laughter]

[laughter]

[ __ ] that. WHAT?

IT'S LIKE a Nintendo Switch, but it's

for cooking things. Take it with you. [laughter]

[laughter]

That was [ __ ] stupid.

I have a plane.

OH MY GOD. WHAT DO I HAVE? WHAT IS THIS? [laughter]

[laughter]

Oh no. I have a plane that just spins in

circles. Oh, it's beautiful.

What [laughter] are you talking about?

I I don't know, dude, but I'm using

this. Soup, your car is only 1,400

points. Mine is 14,000.

Yeah, just wait till you see what I'm

[ __ ] using.

You're driving. It looks like you're

driving A STAGE.

OH, WHAT THE [ __ ] HAPPENED?

OH, JUST FLIP IT OVER.

HOW ARE you driving,

dude? Watch this. Watch this. Come to me.

me.

Little kid's first airplane,

dude. Watch. Come here.

That thing does not fly.

Watch this. Watch.

There's no way. Watch.

Watch.

OH, [screaming] [laughter]

[laughter]

WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT IS GOING ON?

People just keep blowing up,

dude. I flew into that building

[laughter] and blew up immediately.

Oh my god. So practical. [laughter]

Such a good build.

Just going to casually hit the police

chopper sitting back here. Dude, you

think we could steal it?

Uh, I'll try. I doubt I'll try and get

in it. No shot. Dallas. Dallas.

No shot. I'm getting in. Fly quickly.

Quickly. [laughter] The Jesus needs the chopper,

chopper,

dude. What the [ __ ]

Oh my god. [laughter]

He just stole the police chopper. Oh my god.

god.

There's another one. THERE'S ANOTHER ONE

RIGHT HERE.

WHAT THE [ __ ] WHAT?

Oh [ __ ] dude. What the [ __ ] I'm still

[laughter] alive.

Those were cops. Those were other cops.

I'm slowly falling in the air.

Same. Same, dude. We Those were other

cops we just hit. Oh my god. Respawn at

the hospital, bro. Those were actually

other cops [laughter] we just nailed.

What the [ __ ] [laughter]

[laughter]

I can't believe that worked, dude. I

just looked up. I was like, there's

another one. Just [ __ ] ran right into

As soon as I turned my camera, I just

seen him. It was like one frame and then

kaboom. [laughter] Dude,

how have we not been banned? I don't

understand. Everyone's such a tight ass

on here. We're just killing the police

[laughter] helicopter.

Here's an AR. Go shoot some people.

Excuse me.

That's the movie summed up pretty much.

Oh, Ridden House's mom.

No comment on that one.

God damn.

More like Kyle [ __ ] in house.

Kyle shits in his own house.

He's a diarrhea terrorist. He goes to

other people's toilets and shits in them.

them.

Where do I sign up? [laughter]

What the Kyle [ __ ] house?

Well, at least he ain't doing it in the

yard. [laughter]

Kyle [ __ ] house.

Kyle written homeless cardboard box

area. Yeah, said it. What are you going

to do about it?

You wrong for THAT ONE, BRO.

NO. [screaming]

WHAT THE [ __ ] ARE YOU DOING, [laughter]

DUDE? Slip streams in GTA races are [ __ ]

[ __ ]

You're going to [ __ ] up.

I gamerred. I gamer.

You cooked yourself up. [laughter]

Shut up, [ __ ] You don't have enough

speed to get up in this beat. [laughter]

I see you, [ __ ]

See you, [ __ ] [ __ ]

I [ __ ] hate you. And I hope you die

in your sleep tonight.

That's actually a good way to go. So,

I'm not too upset.

Yeah. Thanks for being merciful on me.

But you're only 37. Don't you want to

live a little bit longer? What are you

saying, 60-year-old? Dude, I've been

slurring words all day. I think I'm drunk.

drunk.

You think you're drunk?

Yeah, I get real slurry whenever I drink.

drink.

Slurpie meat. You went to go get a

slurpee and it was just hamburger meat

coming out of the

That's That's beef tartar.

He's not wrong. You know,

food is hate the damn loop, dude.

It's called that because only tartards

eat it. [snorts] [laughter]

[laughter]

The FDA tested a thousand samples of raw

hamburger meat and all of them had feal

matter in them. No, it's uh they call it

TARTAR VAR.

SHUT THE [ __ ] UP. KIND

OF A [ __ ] AND THEN YOU GET AFTER you

eat it and then you get holes in your

brain like Swiss cheese.

Try me. [laughter]

Oh my god. He has A [ __ ] TANK.

HOLY [ __ ]

OH MY GOD. WHAT?

WHAT?

TRY ME, [ __ ]

OH [laughter] [ __ ]

WATCH OUT FOR BIG TANK. [screaming]

HOLY. HE'S SO FAST. HE'S [laughter] SO

FAST. That's such [ __ ] Cinnamon truck.

truck.

[ __ ] [ __ ] You are so mean.

[ __ ] [screaming] [laughter]

[laughter]

I was right there and Mcnasty [ __ ]

spawned in front of me. [laughter]

[laughter]

BUFFER. GOD DAMN IT.

I'm a friendly tank. Oh, you're a

friendly tank. Okay, cool.

OH, YOU [ __ ] LIAR. [laughter]

OH [ __ ] Oh [ __ ]

[ __ ] hard left.

No, my friend. No, my friend. No, my

friend. Please don't.

You must crush.

You will not. [screaming]

Shut the [ __ ] up, everyone.

WHERE'S MY HITCH AT? [screaming]

WHAT DID HE COME FROM? WHAT THE [ __ ]

Oh my god. Oh my god. I PANIC OPEN MY

MENU [laughter]

BEHIND ME.

Oh Lord. Lord, please guide me on these

paths. The secret. He's leaving me.

Somebody come revive me. It's safe.

Somebody come revive me. I ain't going

back over there doing nothing. [ __ ] y'all.

y'all.

Let me let me craft a tote REAL QUICK,

BROTHER. HOLD ON, BROTHER. HOLD ON, BROTHER.

BROTHER.

Do not come to me.

You sure, mama. I can get you.

Never mind. You're good. Okay, come get

me. Six. Five.

I mean, I'll give you my [ __ ] sap.

Wait. Wait.

I got you. Don't worry, brother.

If he turns around, if I see red eyes in

the distance, I'm going to [ __ ] my

[ __ ] [screaming] [laughter]

[laughter]

OH, BROTHER. HOLD ON, BROTHER.

HE SAW RED EYES. OH [screaming] [ __ ] OH

[ __ ] OH [laughter] [ __ ]

[ __ ]

D, you tried your best

to poop my [ __ ]

I'm good. I'm good. Someone can come res

me. I'm good. I promise. Go and do

Studus, please. Yeah.

Yeah.

Come to the res, brother.

Stud. Come on, [laughter] man.

[ __ ] Get away. Get away.

Oh, he coming after me, blood.

Get away on A KID.

GET THE [ __ ] AWAY FROM [screaming] ME,

PLEASE. GOD DAMN [laughter] IT.

About to [ __ ] up the blunt rotation,

fam. Who is my hero? Yes. Oh, he's

coming back, BROTHER. HE'S COMING BACK, BROTHER.

BROTHER.

I got to give up. [laughter] I'M COMING.

HE'S COMING BACK IMMEDIATELY.

[screaming] WHY? GET IN THE THING. WE DO

THE THING, BIDEN. Get in.

Get in the thing. In the thing,

you're good in here. I think we're good.

Holy [ __ ]

Get in it. There you go.

We poke him through the thing.

That's what I was trying to do.

Me at the zoo. [laughter]

Oh god.

Oh my god, dude. We are never getting

out of here. What in Satan's sweet tits

do we do about this?

I'm hitting HIS LEG. HIMSELF.

HIMSELF.

HE GOT ME THROUGH THE THING.

HE KILLED TWO OF YOU. He got a double

kill. [laughter] This can't be our

playthrough. This just can't be. Now

there's two.

There's a second.

Now there's two of them.

Now there's two [ __ ] big ass wolf

spiders. [laughter]

Did you say President Bush there's been

a second spider? Yeah.

Yeah.

Like my grandfappy once told me, if

there's two spiders, blow your brains

out. [laughter]

You'll never guess HOW WE DIED. [laughter]

[laughter]

YOU got a [ __ ] weird puppy, I tell

you that.

[ __ ] I never thought that that old man

saying would come in handy, but here

[laughter] we are.

I'm going to make a I'm going to make a

break for it. WAIT, THEY'RE TOOK THIS [ __ ]

[ __ ]

I'M RUNNING FOR IT.

I'M GOOD. I think I'm good. We're too distracting.

distracting.

[ __ ] chairs, dude.

Dude, I made it out alive. I made it out

alive. I have a torch now, gentlemen.

I'm in the president's vehicle. I can't

hear [ __ ] Hey, Mr. Trump.

What is going on? What the [ __ ] is going

on? Hit F5. [laughter] Go to whitelisted.

whitelisted.

Mr. Gucci belt on the head. Move.

And then when you're ready, we'll do it

at the same time. Let's see what happens.

happens.

All right. Three, two, one, [laughter]

[laughter]

go. I went flying, dude. They're

Hey, look. It's Trump's yacht.

What the [ __ ] was that?

What's going on, Trump?

Hello. How are you doing, sir?

I'm good, man. How are you?

Did you vote for me?

I think I know who this man is.

[screaming]

WHAT THE

DUDE? THE YACHT IS [ __ ] THE YACHT IS [ __ ]

[ __ ] DUDE.

[laughter] This is the most cha What the

[ __ ] [screaming] How is the yacht, dude?

dude?

Dude, this is the most chaotic random

[ __ ] video I've ever made in my life.

This makes literally [laughter] no

sense. What the [ __ ] There's a Jew on a

tractor. Hopeless. This is so [ __ ] random.

random.

He's right there. He's right there.

Miss input, man. Miss input.

He's right there. [laughter] He's in the

[screaming]

I BLEW OFF HIS CAR. I BLEW UP HIS CAR

WITH A YACHT. [laughter]

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED? MR. PRESIDENT,

what happened?

I think I need sex in this game. Can you

arrange that?

Oh, hell yeah. We can have sex, Mr. President.

President.

American citizen. I've got you. Don't worry.

worry.

Yeah, Mr. President, I'm sorry for

dropping a yacht on you. You can have my

my tight bussy. I

I would love your tussy. You want to hop

in my Tesla?

You take that tight bussy for a spin?

Yeah, man. Let me in.

What would you like to do, sir?

Well, I'd like for you to take my busy.

I can take it and hold on to it for a

few a few hours if you'd like.

Oh, I'd love that. Please. I'm a good

American. Just don't.

You've been a great You've been a great

American. I'm very proud you voted and

you did terrific. I think

I would have voted, Mr. President, but

I'm illiterate. I don't know how to read

or write.

Oh, that's okay. Oh, God. I feel bad for

you. [laughter]

Get the [ __ ] away.

Nice. Nice. Nice tires, [ __ ] [laughter]

[laughter]

[ __ ] YOU, [ __ ]

NICE TIRES, [ __ ]

Oh my god. They're going to kill us

What the [ __ ] Oh my god. OH MY GOD.

OH, LIBERAL [ __ ] OH, [laughter]

IT'S THE LIBERALS.

It's the liberals.

It's the goddamn liberals. [laughter]

I say we do it on top of Oh my

no. Get out of the way. Terrible limo,

Got to get away from the liberals.

They're destroying this country and this

He's gone.

This is [ __ ] amazing. Take me

somewhere private, Mr. President. Take

me to a private island.

Look, the last time anybody went to a

private island, things didn't end well. [laughter]

[laughter]

Oh my god.

I say we go to the strip club and we get

it on.

Oh, hell yeah.

I'll pay for it all. All inclusive. [laughter]

[laughter]

You know what I hate?

What's it? China.

China.

I hate China so much. They're terrible. [laughter]

Excuse me, liberals. [laughter]

Oh my god.

Okay, [ __ ] off, you liberal.

You're You're a rotten liberal. [laughter]

[laughter]

Mr. Trump, we're going up to a weed farm.

farm.

Is that so? I I would love to smoke a

dooby. [laughter]

OH NO. [screaming]

WHAT the hell?

[ __ ] you, Trippy. You fat [ __ ]

[laughter] Is that the only insult this

guy knows? Why you keep calling everyone

fat? Are you projecting insecurities?

[laughter] You're

[ __ ] me right.

You sound a little double chinned up

yourself there, buddy.

Get him. [laughter]

[laughter]

Get him. No,

No,

BEAT HIS ASS, TRIPPY. GET HIM. DAMN,

TRIPPY. OH [ __ ] he's unconscious. You

got him. Res me. Res me quick. Res me quick.

quick.

I killed him. I killed him fully. He's gone.

gone.

Nice. [laughter]

All right. Hopefully the ambulance comes

up to save your ass.

[ __ ] You beat his ass. That was amazing.

amazing.

Bro, ain't no way, bro. Ain't no way.

Hello, sir. I'm helping you out right

now. You got a gun show in your bum

hole, bro. Let me fix it. Let me fix it. [laughter]

Oh, god damn. Can you give us a ride,

man? Give us a ride, man. There was a

corrupt cop. He was trying to [ __ ] us up

here on this bridge. Hey, it's all

right, bro. Where you need to go?

Just anywhere away from here, man. Get

us away from here. Yeah, there was some

psychopath cop. He had a little bit of

down syndrome in his bloodstream. He was

trying to [ __ ] us.

All right. Bet. We're going to

[laughter] get out of here, bro.

Oh, thank you so much, Mr. Paramedic.

You're driving.

For some reason, that made me feel like

I was in a belk. What is that? A store?

You guys never went to Belulks? Well,

you guys are liberals. So,

what are you doing?

Nasty. Get the bowl away from your

[ __ ] foot.

Do you have like an industrial [ __ ]

cereal bowl next to you? [laughter]

Yeah, it's just a Yeti dog bowl

for Cine Toast Crunch.

Cinny toast. Is that what you call it in

the biz? [laughter] Is that like Hot toast?

toast?

Why do they call it Cinnamon Toast when

it's not even real toast?

Cinnamon hard square. Break the roof of

your mouth [laughter] cereal. Literally

the best ser on the planet. Shut the

[ __ ] up.

I side with the captain.

Talk about tear up the roof of your

[ __ ] mouth.

Yeah, but it's like a good kind. You

know what I mean?

Yeah, but CTC doesn't do that to your mouth.

mouth.

Stop saying CTC. [laughter]

Oh yeah, the CTC was in Ukraine today. And

And

we've deployed Cinnamon Toast Crunch to

the Russians. [laughter]

Captain Crunch is just when a pirate

bites your dick off. Captain Crunch is

when Johnny Depp punches Amber Heard IN

[laughter]

AND THEN SHE LEAVES a Reese's puff in

[laughter]

I hate that [ __ ] for pooping in a bed.

She's still in your brand, dude.

I did that first. I think I'm going to

take her to court.

You don't want to do that, man.

No, I do. Her lawyers have [laughter]

you know of ama cream.

And do you know whether Amber had any

ama cream on that day?

Amma cream?

A [laughter] cream? That sounds like

something a really shitty magician would

say before they do something.

I'll make this rabbit disappear. [laughter]

[laughter]

Emma cream.

Yeah, that's that's Amber Heard's lawyers.

lawyers.

Yeah, they're making her money disappear.

disappear.

truck.

Look out. He's got he's got the gravedigger.

gravedigger.

It's a woman driving.

Oh, hell no.

Don't kill herself. Don't worry. That's

She'll kill herself. Don't worry.

Holy [ __ ] The woman hit a pedestrian.

What a surprise. [laughter]

I'm just riding down the road, bro.

I'm coming. Wait, where are you? Gas

station. At the gas. All right, I'm at

the gas station.

Something tells me that's not you. Yeah,

I just hit this guy. Learn how to drive

better. Oh, you putting on a you putting

on a show. Learn how to drive better, my

friend. You don't know how to drive,

Gourd. Got cotton candy on your head,

boy. What the hell is that,

bro? I'm really Hey, we really in this

[ __ ] Okay. I be watching them

[ __ ] sometimes when I get bored on

YouTube. Keep that [ __ ] up, boy.

What the hell are you talking about?

Yeah. Nah. Hey, baby. Baby. Hey. You

know when I be watching these uh

watching them RP servers and [ __ ] the

white boy be on there going crazy. Yeah.

[laughter] It be on there. This is that [ __ ]

[ __ ]

This is them two [ __ ] [laughter]

[laughter]

This is actually the best experience ever.

ever.

What y'all What y'all doing?

Oh, my friend. We are just here doing

the fun time.

Whose truck is that?

My truck, [ __ ] Who the hell are you

talking to, [ __ ]

My truck, brother.

Damn, he got beat the [ __ ] up.

You look like [ __ ] You look like you

were dropped in the marinara sauce.

Pull that [ __ ] on me. You want to pull

that goddamn [ __ ] on me again?

[laughter]

Oh my god.

He's shooting him. HE DID NOTHING. DON'T

[laughter]

Oh my god, dude. That is [ __ ] amazing.

amazing.

That is amazing.

Yo, baby. You know that white boy that

[ __ ] around on [laughter] GTA? You know

that white boy go crazy as hell?

Two crazy white boys in the streets. [laughter]

[laughter]

Oh my [ __ ] god.

Where is that dirty [ __ ] All

right, we'll kill him.

Hit this right up here and then the next

right. I'm sure we going to catch him on

the back street.

This [laughter] guy's awesome.

That wasn't them, but we going to act

like it. [laughter]

Part of the role play, my friend.

Oh, look at him at the bank.

I won't.

IT'S MY BANK NOW, [ __ ] GIVE ME

ALL THE MONEY. Give me all the money. [laughter]

[laughter]

I got executed.

Watch out for the cop. [laughter]

[laughter]

My god. Is he going to pull us over again?

again?

Yeah, he is. Pull over. Pull over.

Pull over.

You trying to show us your pee?

Oh, lower down your window and turn off

the [laughter] engine.

You going to show us your dick again?

You're parked in the damn middle of the road.

road.

You understand why why you got pulled

over there?

Hell no.

Well, we were we were trying to help the

EMS out because we were being shot at

and we saw that you ran into us.

The EMS is a plague.

We didn't shoot at

I just saw your dick 2 minutes ago.

Defund the EMS. It wasn't even that big. [screaming]

[screaming]

Oh yeah.

Going to the EMS.

She's with me. Feel safe in this

situation. I'm about to leave.

Please give me a license and registration.

registration.

Press the pedal to the floor. Get out of here.

here.

I need CPR, ma'am. Ma'am, I need a

lightheaded. I need a deal. Registration.

Registration.

I need some back. WE ARE COOPERATING.

I need CPR. [cough]

I need mouth to penis. I need mouth to mouth.

mouth.

I need EMS. PLEASE.

THEY'RE RUNNING INTO US. WHAT THE [ __ ]

What happened?

I'm recording this. Cop 114 is moaning

behind our car. I DON'T FEEL SAFE. HELP.

PLEASE, SIR. PLEASE STEP OUT THE

VEHICLE. The driver. Driver. Sir, can

you please step out the vehicle?

Tell me why. I will have to second time, sir.

sir.

I ain't done nothing wrong. I'm going to

hop out, man. I'm going to hop out.

Please get out the car.

I'm just scared.

Oh my god. [laughter] Sir.

WHOA. YOU GUYS ARE SO FAST.

YOU GOT A TURBO in that thing.

SHOOT THEM. SHOOT THEM. [screaming]

THAT THING is EMS.

I don't feel safe.

EMS does not help with traffic stops.

Okay. [laughter]

I don't know what city is.

Sir, they're kidnapping me. Sir,

our car is about to break down, dude.

Sir, they're kidnapping me. Help. Help. [laughter]

[laughter]

Don't listen to him. He wanted to be

here. Help. Our car.

He asked us to do this.

BREAKING DOWN. HELP. HELP. [screaming]

HE HAS A gun to our head.

This thing's got a TESLA IN IT. IT'S

DRIVING IT.

He has a gun to our head. They got

[ __ ] supercharged cars, man.

All right, I'm pulling over. I'm pulling

over. I'm pulling over.

Hey, sir. Please turn up your engine.

All right, I'm pulling over. I'm pulling over.

over.

The accelerator will suck.

Call me sir.

The accelerator's he says stop. [laughter]

[laughter]

I can't. THE CAR AIN'T STOPPING. IT

WON'T STOP. I CAN'T STOP. ACCELERATOR IS JAMMED.

JAMMED.

It's messed up. It's janky, man. There's

just a LITTLE BIT OF HELP.

I'M GOING TO PUT IT IN NEUTRAL.

HELP ME, SOMEBODY. I CAN'T STOP THE CAR.

IT'S NOT STOPPING.

I NEED EMS. [screaming] HELP. HELP.

What the [ __ ]

THE CAR WON'T GODDAMN STOP. WHY IS THERE

AN AMBULANCE?

Why are we getting pulled over by the

ambulance? [laughter] STOP THE VEHICLE.

THE ACCELERATOR is stuck, buddy.

Stop the vehicle.

I can't stop I can't STOP THE VEHICLE.

OH. OH [ __ ]

THERE WE GO. I think it's stopping now.

We're good. We're good. I'm stopped. I'M STOPPED.

STOPPED.

OH MY GOD.

We fixed it. [laughter] We fixed it.

Oh my god.

Okay, we're stopped. We're pulled over.

Stopping. I'm pulled over.

We're the ones being ASSAULTED NOW.

I'M STOPPED. THE VEHICLE IS STOPPED.

HOLY [ __ ]

Get out the car, sir. Get out the car.

I don't feel safe.

Step out of the car.

I don't feel safe in this environment.

Can I get out? I'm scared.

I'm repairing. I'm repairing.

Holy [ __ ] What? Hold on. Hold on.

Step out of the vehicle, sir. She's

stealing an ambulance, sir. No.

No.

Wait. Who? Who needs to step out?

You. All of All of you. You You was

I can't get out.

My door is jam.

I'm out of the vehicle.

Oh [ __ ]

I'm out of the vehicle. Get out of the

vehicle. ID30.

Taser. Taser. TASER. OH,

OH,

DON'T TASE ME. WHAT THE [ __ ] DID I

[screaming] DO?

YOU COME WITH THAT.

Holy [ __ ]

HELL. [laughter]

WHY AM I BEING DESTROYED? [screaming]

Please don't shoot me. I don't WANT TO

GET SHOT. Please help. Somebody help.

[ __ ] EMS is shooting everybody.

WHY AM I DOING AN IRISH JIG? [laughter] WHY?

WHY?

I didn't do anything.

Why am I getting style?

Someone put this in my music video. Oh.

Oh.

Oh, he getting sturdy with it.

Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

All right. You have the right to remain

silent. Anything you say against you in

free him. Wait, he didn't do didn't do

anything. Please.

Hey, what the hell did I do wrong?

Police brutality.

Get out of the way.

Hey, listen. I want my friends to get

arrested with me.

Do the gritty.

Hey, that purple that purple haze wasn't

mine, man. It was mine.

No. Yes, sir. He He was He was also

He was in it.

Hey, man. Hey. YO.

WHAT THE HELL?

I WAS JUST SMOKING a sig.

What the [ __ ] are we GETTING ARRESTED

FOR? HEY. [screaming] HEY, WHAT ARE WE

GETTING ARRESTED FOR?

He's arresting Ethan.

Sir, [laughter] sir,

you just showed me.

Why is Yummy not being detained? Right.

Right.

Excuse me, officer. Why is the man in

the gray and orange not being detained?

Shut the [ __ ] up. I'm right at THE MS.

OFFICER, ARREST THAT MAN ON THE

AMBULANCE. ARREST THAT MAN ON THE

AMBULANCE. [laughter] AWAY.

It's like I'm not even here. It's like

I'm Officer, I want my friend to be

arrested with me.

Look at the announcement. Anyone stream

sniping will get calms. [laughter]

I did it twice. [gasps]

[gasps]

Hey, you about to get calm, bro. [laughter]

[laughter]

Just anybody that comes even like close

to us.

Oh, so [ __ ] stupid.

Hey. Hey, no stream sniping, bro. You're

going to get cal.

You're about to get comms. You're about

to get No stream sniping.

You're about to get comms.

This is my block.

I I clipped it.

Yeah. Yeah, you're going to get

This is my block. What do you mean?

You going to get coms.

This is my block. This is where you

found me.

No, you stream sniped us and pulled up.

This is my block.

Did you call me

follow [laughter] him? Literally. No.

No.

To my block.

No. No. 71. 71. It's okay. We're just

[ __ ] with him. Mommy.

Mommy.

Oh, there he is.

[ __ ] Are you in our block, bro? What

the [laughter]

dude? The admin. We don't even have to

call him. He's watching us. He's like,

So [ __ ] dumb. Hey, stream sniper.

Just literally anyone. Hey, you're about

to get comms, brother. [laughter] No

more stream sniping out of you.

No, mommy. No, no.

You want comms or what? You want comms

or what?

Yeah, you're going to get comms, buddy.

This is stream sniping to the highest degree.

You keep it up. You're going to get 100 comms.

comms. [laughter]

[laughter]

Admin's definitely watching like what

the [ __ ] are they doing?

I love that he just appeared was like I

saw you following. [laughter]

I have a truce with the trash.

I saw you trying to turn up. [laughter]

[laughter]

THAT'S what you s you stay on top. I'll

go low. All right.

All right.

You stay on top. I'll go low. Truce.

Truce.

All right. What did you call me?

The monster truck. The monster truck.

I am now monster truck.

We scared him off the track. [screaming]

[screaming]

Mister, don't back up, mister. [laughter]

[laughter]

Where are you going, mister? He's

turning around. He's waiting for us.

He's just leaving.

It's okay. We will be monster truck

together. Yes. Oh, buffer's [ __ ]

waiting. [laughter]

Oh, bango. No, god damn it. Be nasty. We

are strong together. [laughter]

[laughter]

You are not.

And now I'm IN THE LEAD, BABY. PUFFER'S

IN FIRST NOW.

IT WORKED.

CATCH UP TO HIM AND KNOCK HIM OFF. MCNASTY.

MCNASTY.

I'M DRIVING LIKE A BLIND GRANDMA.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. I HATE THE

[laughter] BANANA.

IRONICALLY, blind grandma was on my list

of words I was going to say. So, good work.

work.

I can say the future. Bubba. [laughter]

My nephew's name. I don't like

Bubba. Why you cracking in a Walmart

parking lot? [laughter]

Can't see the wall in front of her. 2

a.m. You pull up a Walmart, dude.

Bloodshot eyes.

Biggest fever dream in the world.

What are those [ __ ] walls?

I don't even [ __ ] know, dog.

What's the point of that one on your right?

right?

Gamer border walls. You want your

parents to stay out of your setup room?

Put up [ __ ] walls.

Dude, it smells so bad.

RGB [ __ ] walls to keep your parents out

of your gamer room. Does your mom keep

coming in when you're playing Minecraft?

Try [ __ ] walls.

Can you hear your dad beating your mom

in the other room? Put up [ __ ] walls. Too

close to home.

Is your dad trying to break down your

door and beat you after a long night at

work and he's a drunken stouper? Put try

[ __ ] walls to [laughter] keep him out.

Put a [ __ ] shot on your doorork knob.

He'll be so slippery, slipy, slippery.

Your scenile grandma will never be able

to grip that knob.

Now, why would I want that? [laughter]

Fasten your grandmother's reflexes by

dropping 10 lb dumbbells above her head. [laughter]

[laughter]

Drop your grandma upside down. They

always land on their feet every time. [laughter]

[laughter]

Throw your grandma off a 12story building.

building.

Mcnasty, what are you doing?

He's making popcorn at his [ __ ] desk.

Amazon guy was just here right now.

The Amazon guy is in your room right now.

now.

Put him on the mic. He's in your walls.

He's in your walls. [laughter]

He's putting up [ __ ] walls in his room

right now. He's installing.

He just ordered them.

Oh, we did a we did a good

advertisement, I guess. Want to add

nothing to a session but use all your

friends jokes for video? Put up [ __ ]

walls right in the middle of recording.

You done?

Want to put an ad in a video where you

don't talk? Try [ __ ] walls. [laughter]

It's just a joke. Me nasty. Just a joke.

Relax. Put up your [ __ ] walls and relax.

Want to learn how to take a joke? Try

[ __ ] walls.

A [ __ ] wall. She wasn't even here for the

[ __ ] wall. Want to pay attention?

Oh my god.

No, I wasn't. I was getting packages off my

my

Want to increase your attention span?

Try [ __ ] walls.

Try getting on TikTok once in your life.

How are kids going to be able to focus

at the SAT test whenever there's not a

video of Subway Surfers playing at the

They're filling out their name. They're

like, "I can't focus. We're subway

surfers. [laughter] Where's the

subtitles? Where where's the zooms and

the effects? WHERE'S THE TIK TOK FINE

BOOM SOUND EFFECT? I CAN'T. I DON'T KNOW

HOW TO DO THIS.

MY INSTRUCTOR ISN'T ANDREW TATE. What

the [ __ ] is THIS TEST? THIS IS GARBAGE. [laughter]

[laughter]

EDITOR, put in Subway Surfer gameplay at

the bottom so the kids don't click off

and we get a higher reviewer retention

rate, please. Editor, editor, putund

things on the screen right now to keep

the attention span of people. I'm

talking subtitles. I'm talking subs GTA

Remove our voices and put in the Tik Tok

lady voice

for everything we say from now. You know,

know,

put in the voice that sounds like this

for our clips.

I [ __ ] hate that voice. I [ __ ]

[laughter] hate it so much.

Oh, grabbing my grandma's tit to see if

she cares. [laughter]

How to properly evade taxes. Killing my

IRS agent. [laughter]

Guys, China's going to kill us if we

keep doing this.

China wants us to die. China, you know

what? Entertain is probably a Chinese robot

robot

that was constructed [laughter] to ruin

American Tik Tok algorithm to brainwash

our youth.

This is the start of like a Spongebob episode.

episode. [laughter]

[laughter]

Andrew Tate is a Chinese robot.

That is a deep, deep, dark hole

[laughter] that we should go down.

I bet under that thin layer of skin on

his head, he looks like a [ __ ]

android skull emoji.

I mean, I'm not racist cuz like

underneath all of our skins are all just

I don't see skin color. I see emojis,

bro. Okay. [laughter]

And everyone's yellow and Chinese to me.

Okay, there it is.

Oh, no. There's all sorts of numbers, bro.

bro.

3 2 1 9. I don't know how to read

the numbers. Mason, what the hell? Elevator.

Elevator.

Wait, no, there's a piece of paper. Hold on.

on. Elevator.

Elevator. Where?

Where?

The elevator code. 1 2 3 4. What?

What?

Wow. Wait, maybe it's a puzzle. Maybe

there's Hold on.

You think?

Where would you even put it in at?

Probably the number pad on the elevator.

You know your mom, dude. [laughter]

Okay, so 1 2 3 4 is not the code.

And we can't leave. You got to move,

dude. Move the [ __ ] out of your way,

dude. No, [laughter]

sorry. Sorry.

[ __ ] in the [ __ ] elevator. [laughter]

[laughter]

Wait, there's number symbols on the back

of these. Wait, so it's

# # pound symbol. Pound symbol 8967. Get

in, boys.

A LOOK [screaming] AT ME. LOOK AT THE

REDNECK. The redneck with the brain.

Uh-oh. This one's scary.

Yeah. Well, look where you led us with

your brain. [laughter] That led us to

Satan's chambers.

WHAT? [screaming]

IT'S DUB, BRO.

Oh my god. [laughter] How did we come to

the same cocoon?

It's D, bro.

[ __ ] you.

H can [laughter] save you from dying.

Make sure you manage it correctly.

That's actually what I look like going

to get a snack at 3:00 a.m.

Yeah, [laughter]

that's XQC walking away from his stream.

Fine, I'll call Red Lobster. [laughter]

[laughter]

Let's go.

Finally. We've been trying to force you

all day.

Thank you for choosing Red Lobster. My

name is Cindy. Can I get a phone number

for you, please?

Hey, Cindy. Yeah. Um, the phone number

is 203 516

516 280.

280.

Thank you. And um, can I get a first and

last name for the order, please?

Okay. Your first name's Carl. [laughter]

[laughter]

And the last name is W E E

E Z

Z E

E R.

R.

All right. And um how can I get your

order started?

Do you have any Jimmy Neutron Jumbo

Jumbo shrimps?

shrimps?

We don't have that.

You don't have any Jimmy Jumbo shrimps? No.

No.

Are you sure? Hello, sir.

We don't have anything like that.

Are you sure? Can you check in the bag,

please? [laughter]

No, ma'am. Sir,

just gender you.

You just misgendered Carl Weaser.

You have a wonderful evening.

I want Jimmy's jumbo shrimp, [laughter] please.

please.

We We don't have that.

Okay. Do you know when you're going to

have it in?

No, I do not.

Can you call one of the people that goes

out on the boats and catches them on the

shrimp and boats and ask them?

I cannot.

Why are you so mean? [laughter]

Is there anything else I can help you with?

with?

Yeah. Do you have any Larry the Lobster Rose?

Rose?

No, we do not.

Okay. What do you have?

Um, you can look at our website and then

give us a call back. I don't have a

computer. [laughter]

Okay, you can do it on your phone.

I don't have a phone that is smart. No

smartphones here.

All right. Well, I'm very sorry.

No, you're not.

Okay. Is there anything else? Yeah.

Yeah. [laughter]

Do you have any meatloaf, Sandy?

Sandy? No.

No. No.

No. [laughter]

[laughter]

What do you have?

I'm not going to go over our whole menu.

Like I said, you can try to look at one

of our menus online if you'd like.

Can I just get a raw lobster out of the tank?

tank?

No, you cannot.

I can't eat a raw lobster in the lobby. [laughter]

[laughter]

Is Mr. Mosby going to

You have a great day. Okay.

Okay. I would have a better day if I

could eat a raw lobster head.

No, I'm sure. You have a great day. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

You called me ma'am earlier. Why are you

calling me sir now?

I I said you have a good day. Bye-bye. I

didn't say sir or ma'am.

She's still doing it.

Okay. Well, Cindy, bye-bye.

bye-bye.

Okay, Cindy. I hope you have a good one.

Thank you. Bye-bye. Okay.

Okay.

Oh my god. She's got to go to her

coworker and say, "This special needs

kid just kept me off [laughter]

for so long."

Isn't that I think that the girl that

bullies like Jimmy's name is Cindy,

isn't it? Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh my god, that's so

actually hilarious that name was Cindy. [laughter]

[laughter] It's

It's

so [ __ ] tough,

man. She was Bless her heart. She was so patient.

patient.

She was She was tough, man. You would

think that she would like catch on

maybe like

Shout out to Cindy.

Maybe chuckle.

That's why she has the good job at Red

Lobster, baby. Let's go, Cindy. Yeah,

Carl Weezer was [laughter]

just never seen Jimmy Neon,

dude. Yeah, she wrote down

the real Cindy from

She wrote down Carl Weezer, right? [laughter]

[laughter]

She wrote I spelled his name wrong. I

was like, how can I change his name up

so she won't know that it's supposed to

remove the silent letter?

I [laughter] removed the only letter

That's like spilling Carl's name with a

K instead of a C. [laughter]

I know one dream there.

there.

You went there, huh?

I've been wanting to say it for a while.

Oh, they're all in one room. You win

these, dude. You win these. Come on, THEO.

THEO.

COME ON, [screaming] DIO. YOU GOT THIS,

BRO. GET IN THERE.

GET HIM, [screaming] BOY.

YEAH. GET HIM THE

OH, he's gone. [laughter] He left immediately.

immediately.

Hey, we called his wife a [ __ ] twice. I

don't blame him.

How did it feel to dude getting your ass

beat by a woman, [laughter]

bro? I got my ass beat by a gang of

white knights. We're going to settle

this [ __ ] in the ring.

I'm on like a a [ __ ] ass hair.

I can give you steak. I can give you

steak to heal up once we're there.

Yeah, dude. I'm going to eat some raw

steak and then fight a woman. I think

she's going to kick your ass.

Nah, not going to happen. Not going to happen.

happen.

Well, women have to stick together, so

I'm with her.

Yeah. Got to stick together like a

booger in the dark.

You are so southern, it's not even funny.

funny.

Goddamn right. Don't you worry. I'm

about to be fighting like she burnt my dinner.

Is this Is this what you call a boxing ring?

ring?

No, it's down here. Come.

Oh god. Oh, what the hell? What the

[ __ ] There's actually a box.

WHAT THE [ __ ]

HOLY CRAP.

Look at me, Trippy. What the [ __ ] is

going on?

Where are you? [laughter]

What the [ __ ]

I see you up there. You just like

holding on to the lude.

What are you doing?

The ladder is glitching. What the [ __ ]

Just Yeah, just jump.

What the [ __ ] [laughter]

[laughter]

What the hell? How's she doing that?

Damn, dude. She's gloating, dude.

Eight people

[ __ ] showing off. Hold on. I want to

I want to [ __ ] do that. How do I do

that? get any.

He's just [laughter] dancing instead.

All right, one round for the [ __ ] win.

win.

All right, let's go.

How do I do that?

Touch them with me. I mean, I'll touch

them if you want. Here, I'll touch your

I'll touch both your gloves. Yeah, here

you go. It's

All right. It's on like Donkey Kong, [ __ ]

[ __ ] [laughter]

[laughter] YEAH.

YEAH.

What are you doing?

Oh [ __ ]

OH DAMN.

FLOAT LIKE A BUTTERFLY. STING LIKE A BEE.

BEE.

LET YOU GET BACK IN.

FLOAT LIKE A BUTTERFLY. STING LIKE A

BEE. [laughter] OH.

OH. HEY,

HEY,

DUDE. She buckled.

O. O. O.

O.

Oh [ __ ] [screaming] Ah, [laughter]

[laughter]

bro. I'm about to get [ __ ]

Do not She's got to be CLOSE TO DYING.

[screaming] NO,

OH, come on.

NO. [laughter] DAMN.

DAMN.

OH, YEAH.

She gave me the old wife beater combo.

She wears the pants. She wears the pants.

pants.

How does it feel to get beat by a girl? Huh?

Huh?

Hey, listen. I'm not ashamed. All right.

All right. Doctor told me I was born

with a lot of estrogen, so I ain't

ashamed of nothing.

Make sure

L plus beat by a female. The shame. I'm

being shunned. My own chat is shunning me.

me.

Oh, she wants to go

kick her ass.

Oh [ __ ] Trippy's getting in the ring.

Come on, Trippy. Let's see it, baby. Oh,

hell yeah, Trippy. Show her what's up.

Show her how we do it.

Come on, Trippy.

Come on, [ __ ]

Oh my goodness. OH YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.

ROCKY BALBOA THAT [ __ ] COME ON.

OH, DUDE. THERE'S NO WAY I'M losing this

one. Come on. NO.

NO.

COME ON, TRIPPY. SHE'S GETTING A WOMBO COMBO.

COMBO. COMBO,

COMBO,

BRO. I one shot. I one shot. A one shot.

A one shot. NO.

ass beat, [ __ ]

That's right, baby. Yeah,

Yeah,

I was low as hell.

Look at you dancing. [laughter]

That's [ __ ] right, baby.

We all need some [ __ ] Jesus.

If God don't have a 9 in BBC, I don't

even want to talk to him.

But God is a woman.

If God ain't a beekeeper in his free

time, I want nothing to do with him. [laughter]

[laughter]

What a weird standard to have for your religion.

religion. [laughter]

[laughter]

I'm an atheist now cuz God ain't a beekeeper.

beekeeper.

Why do you think the bees are going

extinct? It's because God's keeping

them. God's making them all stinky and

it's his fault. Extanky.

Extanky.

If these animals are going extinct, why

don't they just take a damn shower? I'm

telling you what. You know, God thought

the Egyptians smelled bad when he had

Moses give them all a bath, parted the

seas, drown them to death.

That was Noah, my brother.

Nope. [laughter] No.

No.

Imagine Moses shows up and he's like

that. that [ __ ] meme where it's a

girl holding the uh like the body wash

and the deodorant behind her back and

he's just standing there in front of the

pharaoh [laughter] with like personal

hygiene [ __ ]

Let my people bathe.

The pharaoh's just like, "No, we will

not take a bath." [laughter] And then

God just [ __ ] kills him in a massive

bath. Godfather of the world Discord

with water and dove men plus [laughter] hair.

It's too bad he promised to never do it

again cuz we could really use it.

Yeah. God, please go back on your promise.

promise.

God, when TwitchCon starts

Oh, please flood. God, when Twitch flood,

flood,

dear God, please flood. [laughter] Twitchcon.

Twitchcon.

They need to take a bath.

That is too much stank within one mile radius.

radius. [laughter]

[laughter]

I know a lot of people have said it, but

whenever like they said that there were

masks mandatory at TwitchCon, like my

literally like people were mad, but my

first thought was like, dude, I want to

wear a mask there. They smell so bad. Yeah,

Yeah,

it's like the best place to wear a mask.

[snorts] Who in their right mind would

go mask?

Who in their right mind would go to TwitchCon?

TwitchCon?

That's the most based opinion here,

[laughter] honestly.

Have you guys ever been to TwitchCon?

It's basically where uh it's like a

streamer petting zoo, though. I don't

know about that too much.

A streamer petting zoo. People just pet

each other.

You just get lost in crowds of people

being like inside my butthole. [laughter]

[laughter]

Pokemon man, my favorite streamer. I

must take a picture with you.

Opens armpit [music] around her.

Pokemon man dies [laughter] dies

immediately. Yeah.

Falls over flies out of his armpit. [laughter]

[laughter]

The fog horn sound effect plays. [snorts]

His stink sack excretes its liquid from

his armpit. Oh god, [laughter]

Jesus [ __ ] [laughter]

This isn't even hyp hyperbolic either.

This is pretty much how it is.

Just eats her with his belly button. [laughter]

Hello guys. [laughter]

Hello guys. Oh, this is the police headquarters.

headquarters.

Oh, they're they're being trained.

Train for this. Train for this.

WHAT DO YOU DO IN THIS SCENARIO,

GENTLEMEN? What do you do in this scenario?

scenario?

Justice. JUSTICE. JUSTICE.

STOP, BRO. [laughter]

I'm dead. I I'm driving off.

Hey, somebody suck me off. I'm dead. I'm

bleeding. I need some medical attention

over here now. LISTEN UP, BOY. LISTEN

UP, BOY. LET ME TURN THAT dog into an

orange chicken platter.

Oh my god. What am I doing to your face? Damn.

Damn. [screaming]

Hey, gentlemen. I got a scenario for

y'all to train in. All right. What are

y'all doing in this situation?

Uh, [ __ ] your mom. What the [ __ ]

[laughter] Holy [ __ ]

Trippy. I am on top of the building

[laughter]

hide in the swamp till the last.

We can hide right here. We can hide

right here. Get in here,

dude. Stop. Okay, dude. Whatever. Go do

whatever you want. [laughter]

Dude, I can't. There are so many voices.

There are so many voices. I DON'T HEAR

ANYBODY TALKING. ARE YOU SERIOUS?

OH MY GOD. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN TWO

veterans try to go [laughter] fishing

together when they get home from the war.

war.

I'm losing my mind. [laughter]

[laughter]

He just goes and dives in the water.

THERE'S SO MANY VOICES.

I'M JUST LITERALLY I'm going to lay on

the bottom of the ocean.

It's not an ocean. [laughter] God damn

it. What ocean have you ever been to?

Okay, then explain why that's Spongebob

right there. [laughter]

Dude, you're going to [ __ ] drown to

death right there in 3T of water. You're

that one statistic that like you could

drown in [laughter] 12 in of water.

That's you right there.

One person every 10 years.

That's the spot. That's the spot for sure.

sure.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry,

dude. Dude, did he just jump in the

water? What was that?

I saw that. I saw that, TOO.

DUDE, DUDE. DUDE.

WHERE? WHERE? WHERE? WHERE? WHERE?

WHERE? WHERE? WHERE?

Dude is blind as [ __ ] [laughter] Dude,

I can't reload my gun. It's actually busted.

busted.

I want this. Give me.

There's only three people. It's us and one.

one.

It's a 2v one. It's a 2V ONE, BOYS.

HELP.

COME ON. GET THE [screaming] WIN. GET

THE WIN. I'M COMING. I'm coming. I'm coming.

coming.

LET'S GO. IS THAT IT?

YES. [screaming]

NEVER DOUBT THE VETERANS. NEVER DOUBT THEM.

THEM.

NEVER [ __ ] DOUBT HIM.

That was in reality. That was just some

random guy going for a walk in the woods.

woods. [laughter]

in the United States. There's no war

happening at all. [laughter]

I'm very smart.

A very smart one. Oh, we're getting pulled over.

pulled over. There's a cop hiding under the bridge.

There's a cop hiding under the bridge. How long was he sitting there for?

How long was he sitting there for? That's entrapment.

That's entrapment. Oh, here we go. We're about Dude, this

Oh, here we go. We're about Dude, this cop's about to experience hell.

cop's about to experience hell. Hey, turn off the engine and road on the

Hey, turn off the engine and road on the window, sir.

window, sir. Uh, no. I don't think I will.

Uh, no. I don't think I will. That was entrapment. You're just trying

That was entrapment. You're just trying to meet your quota for the month. You

to meet your quota for the month. You heard me.

heard me. Tell us what we're getting pulled over

Tell us what we're getting pulled over for.

for. All right. This is Sergeant V with LSPD.

All right. This is Sergeant V with LSPD. Oh yeah, I don't care actually.

Oh yeah, I don't care actually. [laughter]

How you like that? God damn, son.

God damn, son. Don't pull over gang members.

Don't pull over gang members. Well, this is what you get for pulling

Well, this is what you get for pulling me over, I guess.

me over, I guess. Entrament, bro.

Entrament, bro. That's what you get for enttrapment.

That's what you get for enttrapment. Holy [laughter]

Holy [laughter] [ __ ]

[ __ ] Soup. Soup. Soup. Soup. If you don't if

Soup. Soup. Soup. Soup. If you don't if you don't reply to me.

[laughter] This is unreal.

This is unreal. I don't play this server for a few days

I don't play this server for a few days and it becomes this dude.

and it becomes this dude. What? What is happening?

What? What is happening? What just happened was these two cops

What just happened was these two cops that tried to pull us over got

that tried to pull us over got absolutely railed. Me and Ethan didn't

absolutely railed. Me and Ethan didn't even get touched in the all that

even get touched in the all that madness. Like

madness. Like we [laughter] didn't even get touched.

we [laughter] didn't even get touched. Holy [ __ ]

Holy [ __ ] Like I'm the leader of the cartel.

Like I'm the leader of the cartel. Bro, I don't like this at all. Who's in

Bro, I don't like this at all. Who's in the locker beside me?

the locker beside me? That's Are we together,

That's Are we together, bro? Big wiry guy just stomped right

bro? Big wiry guy just stomped right past us. Everybody else is dead already.

past us. Everybody else is dead already. [laughter]

[laughter] What in Donkey Kong sweet [ __ ] is

What in Donkey Kong sweet [ __ ] is that thing? Oh my god. I found the

that thing? Oh my god. I found the haunts room by accident cuz he chased me

haunts room by accident cuz he chased me in here.

in here. I'm going to eating in a time like this.

I'm going to eating in a time like this. [laughter]

[laughter] You're eating chips,

You're eating chips, bro.

bro. Every time.

Every time. Got to stress eat to make himself feel

Got to stress eat to make himself feel better. [laughter]

better. [laughter] HEY, YOU PIECE OF [ __ ]

HEY, YOU PIECE OF [ __ ] WATCH my locker now, [ __ ]

WATCH my locker now, [ __ ] Oh, you know musical lockers.

Oh, you know musical lockers. OH MY GOD. DID YOU DUDE, WAIT. ARE WE

OH MY GOD. DID YOU DUDE, WAIT. ARE WE BOTH IN,

BOTH IN, DUDE? WAIT. Get out. Get out. Let's hit

DUDE? WAIT. Get out. Get out. Let's hit E and the exact same time. All right.

E and the exact same time. All right. Ready.

Ready. Ready,

Ready, dude. [laughter]

Dude, we're like swapping out like frame perfect. [laughter]

Dude, this looks like the [ __ ] MATRIX OR SOMETHING. [screaming] OH, I SEE THIS

OR SOMETHING. [screaming] OH, I SEE THIS RED LIGHT. NO, I'M NOT. TITTY WEINER.

RED LIGHT. NO, I'M NOT. TITTY WEINER. TITTY WEINER. GET [laughter] YOUR PIECE

TITTY WEINER. GET [laughter] YOUR PIECE OF [ __ ]

OF [ __ ] I'M DEAD. [screaming] I'M DEAD. I'm so

I'M DEAD. [screaming] I'M DEAD. I'm so dead. I'm so dead. I'm so dead.

dead. I'm so dead. I'm so dead. WHAT IS GOING ON?

WHAT IS GOING ON? ONE MUSICAL LOCKERS. [laughter]

ONE MUSICAL LOCKERS. [laughter] [ __ ] you. [ __ ] you. Actually, you're a

[ __ ] you. [ __ ] you. Actually, you're a piece of [ __ ]

piece of [ __ ] bro. What do you mean [ __ ] you? It was

bro. What do you mean [ __ ] you? It was completely luck [laughter] based. What

completely luck [laughter] based. What are the odds that he comes while we're

are the odds that he comes while we're doing that

doing that soup? Have you died? No. Oh, can I get

soup? Have you died? No. Oh, can I get up on that thing? That's a big repeating

up on that thing? That's a big repeating crossbow. Can I use this, please, mama?

crossbow. Can I use this, please, mama? I hope.

I hope. Can I please be using? You can't. Oh my

Can I please be using? You can't. Oh my god. No shot.

god. No shot. That's my body.

That's my body. OH, [laughter] LOOK.

OH, [laughter] LOOK. OH, I JUST WASTED TWO OF THEM. Damn it.

OH, I JUST WASTED TWO OF THEM. Damn it. How much ammo do you have? Oh, you only

How much ammo do you have? Oh, you only have

have four out of six. Where are the stinky

four out of six. Where are the stinky man?

man? OH MY GOD. [screaming]

YES, I GOT ONE. HOLY [ __ ]

HOLY [ __ ] It's on a It's on a tree.

It's on a It's on a tree. I'm repairing it. I'm repairing it. I

I'm repairing it. I'm repairing it. I think you're out of Oh, YOU GET AMMO

think you're out of Oh, YOU GET AMMO BACK. [screaming] LET'S GO.

BACK. [screaming] LET'S GO. OH MY GOD.

OH MY GOD. LET'S GO. GET HIM,

LET'S GO. GET HIM, EVEN,

EVEN, BRO. repair quick. He's weak. I'm

BRO. repair quick. He's weak. I'm trying. DID I GET THEM? DID THEY DIE TO

trying. DID I GET THEM? DID THEY DIE TO A SPIKE TRAP?

A SPIKE TRAP? YEAH.

YEAH. OH, HE'S ON YOU. OH, NO. NO. NO. DUDE,

OH, HE'S ON YOU. OH, NO. NO. NO. DUDE, YOU'RE INSANE.

YOU'RE INSANE. OH, IT'S A ONE V ONE, DUDE. IT'S A 1 V

OH, IT'S A ONE V ONE, DUDE. IT'S A 1 V ONE. NO, I'M STUCK IN THIS THING. YOU

ONE. NO, I'M STUCK IN THIS THING. YOU GOT THIS. HE'S HALF HEALTH. OH, NO. HE'S

GOT THIS. HE'S HALF HEALTH. OH, NO. HE'S HALF HEALTH. You got it.

HALF HEALTH. You got it. COME ON. YOU GOT IT. [screaming] YOU GOT

COME ON. YOU GOT IT. [screaming] YOU GOT IT. GOT IT. OH, WE'RE DUELING. GET ME.

IT. GOT IT. OH, WE'RE DUELING. GET ME. YOU GOT IT. YOU GOT IT. [screaming]

YOU GOT IT. YOU GOT IT. [screaming] LET'S GO.

[groaning] Oh my god. I'M SHAKING, DUDE. [screaming] LET'S GO. WHAT A WIN.

DUDE. [screaming] LET'S GO. WHAT A WIN. OH MY GOD.

OH MY GOD. WHAT A WIN.

WHAT A WIN. I was sure we were going to lose that

I was sure we were going to lose that one.

one. I can't believe how powerful that turret

I can't believe how powerful that turret is. Oh my god.

is. Oh my god. I didn't think it was explosive. I

I didn't think it was explosive. I thought it was just [laughter]

thought it was just [laughter] Dude, that was clutch.

Dude, that was clutch. Dude, you had one kill.

Dude, you had one kill. YOU TOOK ALL MY KILL, DUDE. I would I

YOU TOOK ALL MY KILL, DUDE. I would I would get some guy down to half health

would get some guy down to half health and you just come in and my name is take

and you just come in and my name is take his take the last shot.

his take the last shot. Well, we may have lost the challenge,

Well, we may have lost the challenge, but we won the war. All right.

but we won the war. All right. Correct. What a sick ending. Holy [ __ ]

Correct. What a sick ending. Holy [ __ ] Yeah, that was nuts, dude.

Yeah, that was nuts, dude. Hey, I want to become a

Hey, I want to become a How about I just give you a kiss and you

How about I just give you a kiss and you let me on the force

let me on the force interview for my senior.

interview for my senior. I just murdered him for driving.

I just murdered him for driving. What the hell?

What the hell? Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. One chance, please.

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. One chance, please. One chance.

One chance. No. No. No. No. You had enough chances.

No. No. No. No. You had enough chances. You had enough chances.

You had enough chances. Kid just came out of the womb.

Kid just came out of the womb. You didn't my wife that I just you

You didn't my wife that I just you Sorry, sir. One chance, please.

Sorry, sir. One chance, please. No. Did you understand the right that I

No. Did you understand the right that I just read you?

just read you? Sorry. Last chance. I'm go to city.

Sorry. Last chance. I'm go to city. Can you have the right to remain a

Can you have the right to remain a silent can say will be against the

silent can say will be against the account of love? You have the right to

account of love? You have the right to end [laughter]

my friend. Don't take him to jail. My friend,

friend, can you just be quiet?

can you just be quiet? SHUT THE [ __ ] UP, [screaming] KERATOP. I

SHUT THE [ __ ] UP, [screaming] KERATOP. I AIN'T [ __ ] TALKING TO YOU. GODAMN IT.

Oh my [ __ ] god. Hey. Uh yo, my bike is a little broken.

Hey. Uh yo, my bike is a little broken. I need I need some help, man. I NEED

I need I need some help, man. I NEED SOME HELP. [laughter]

THANK YOU. I'm straight, but

I'm straight, but could turn me gay.

could turn me gay. What could turn Mcnasty gay?

[laughter] I'm going to hell. I am going to hell

I'm going to hell. I am going to hell tonight.

tonight. I'm straight, but big old fat.

I'm straight, but big old fat. [laughter]

[laughter] OH MY GOD. WELL, MAMA,

OH MY GOD. WELL, MAMA, IT'S THE Michelin man.

IT'S THE Michelin man. I'm straight butt. [laughter]

Where'd you find this picture of me? [laughter]

It's gard. [laughter]

[laughter] Oh my god,

Oh my god, I'm straight, but hello Walter White

I'm straight, but hello Walter White could turn me gay. Hello, Alter White.

could turn me gay. Hello, Alter White. [laughter]

[laughter] Jesse, is that bacon? Get it out of

Jesse, is that bacon? Get it out of here.

here. I'm going to go with the absolute worst

I'm going to go with the absolute worst one.

one. Let's go, baby. See who's making a

Let's go, baby. See who's making a resurgence. [laughter]

resurgence. [laughter] Watch him win.

Watch him win. I'm coming back. I'm just going to play

I'm coming back. I'm just going to play that same card every round. [laughter]

that same card every round. [laughter] BUT STAY OUT OF THE ROAD, YOU

BUT STAY OUT OF THE ROAD, YOU [screaming] CATTLE [ __ ]

[screaming] CATTLE [ __ ] He's holding on to this victory with his

He's holding on to this victory with his life. MOO.

life. MOO. DO NOT LET HIM WIN, SMITTY.

Moomoo milkers. I can't believe it. You guys, you're so

I can't believe it. You guys, you're so annoying with the boomerang. [laughter]

annoying with the boomerang. [laughter] COME ON. [screaming]

COME ON. [screaming] LET'S [ __ ] GO.

LET'S [ __ ] GO. LET'S [ __ ] GO.

LET'S [ __ ] GO. LET'S GO.

LET'S GO. YEAH. [screaming]

YEAH. [screaming] YOU KNOW WHAT? HEY, congratul

YOU KNOW WHAT? HEY, congratul [laughter]

[ __ ] one. I know them.

I know them. Can I know this track?

Can I know this track? I know them cows algorithms, baby. You

I know them cows algorithms, baby. You know what I'm saying? Know how to grab

know what I'm saying? Know how to grab them utters. Call me a 9/11 jumper cuz

them utters. Call me a 9/11 jumper cuz I'm out.

I'm out. [laughter]

Did you jump off? Never forget to jump.

Never forget to jump. All right, I'm jumping off, too. [ __ ]

All right, I'm jumping off, too. [ __ ] it.

it. Hey, [ __ ] it.

Hey, [ __ ] it. All right, this is his [ __ ]

All right, this is his [ __ ] territory, boys. Everyone shut the [ __ ]

territory, boys. Everyone shut the [ __ ] up.

up. Oh my god. I I'm realizing what's

Oh my god. I I'm realizing what's happening right now.

happening right now. What? Humans set out mouse traps with

What? Humans set out mouse traps with G's so that they can kill rats. This guy

G's so that they can kill rats. This guy just set up a house trap for humans so

just set up a house trap for humans so that he could kill us. Whoa. [laughter]

that he could kill us. Whoa. [laughter] Wait, wait, wait. Come on. Shh. He's

Wait, wait, wait. Come on. Shh. He's right there. [snorts]

right there. [snorts] [laughter]

[laughter] Oh [ __ ] He just ran by me and I

Oh [ __ ] He just ran by me and I resisted. He touched me.

resisted. He touched me. Scream.

BRO, I [ __ ] ALL TAPPED OUT OF THE GAME. OH, [laughter]

I just [ __ ] closed the goddamn game, dude. You stepped on a [ __ ] teddy

dude. You stepped on a [ __ ] teddy bear. [laughter]

bear. [laughter] I know black people that say the hard R

I know black people that say the hard R all the time cuz they like

all the time cuz they like because they're allowed to. [laughter]

because they're allowed to. [laughter] I guess.

I guess. Are you supposed to be one of those

Are you supposed to be one of those white kids where it's like, well, if

white kids where it's like, well, if they say it, I'm like, "Hey, I say it."

they say it, I'm like, "Hey, I say it." No, I was about to say, uh, that's my

No, I was about to say, uh, that's my word and I'm ready to take it back.

word and I'm ready to take it back. [laughter]

[laughter] Holy [ __ ] Oh,

Holy [ __ ] Oh, they're actually they're stealing our

they're actually they're stealing our culture if you think about it.

culture if you think about it. White people have no culture. Yeah. Who

White people have no culture. Yeah. Who came up with the most used word in all

came up with the most used word in all your rap songs? [laughter] That's what I

your rap songs? [laughter] That's what I thought.

If I ever do a standup special, that's going in. Dude, listen. I literally

going in. Dude, listen. I literally aliooped that [ __ ] to you. Give it back.

aliooped that [ __ ] to you. Give it back. Well, I'll say featuring Yummy in the

Well, I'll say featuring Yummy in the title. It's all good. [laughter]

title. It's all good. [laughter] This joke is featuring Yummy. It's not

This joke is featuring Yummy. It's not here, but it's featuring Yummy. Okay,

here, but it's featuring Yummy. Okay, you would say Aliooped. Yeah. Cater

you would say Aliooped. Yeah. Cater cater to that [ __ ] 4% colored

cater to that [ __ ] 4% colored audience you got, buddy.

audience you got, buddy. I have a 99% black woman audience. I

I have a 99% black woman audience. I don't know what you're the [laughter]

don't know what you're the [laughter] [ __ ] you're talking about.

[ __ ] you're talking about. Do you just upload like Oprah videos?

Do you just upload like Oprah videos? Oprah compilation. [laughter]

Oh my god. All right. Come on, dude. Come on. You

All right. Come on, dude. Come on. You go first.

go first. So [ __ ]

So [ __ ] Why is everyone shooting at us?

Why is everyone shooting at us? I don't know what what's going on.

I don't know what what's going on. Make sure it's not a civilian.

Make sure it's not a civilian. Okay. This is a civilian. Hold on. Hold

Okay. This is a civilian. Hold on. Hold your fire. Hold your fire.

your fire. Hold your fire. You're under arrest.

You're under arrest. Don't [laughter] you Don't cing the

Don't [laughter] you Don't cing the civilian. [laughter]

YOU'RE UNDER ARREST. GET ON THE GROUND. GET ON THE [ __ ] GROUND. STOP

GET ON THE [ __ ] GROUND. STOP RESISTING. STOPING.

RESISTING. STOPING. [laughter]

You bear maced him and shot him in the [laughter] back.

[laughter] back. Holy [ __ ]

Holy [ __ ] Deserved.

Deserved. You guys are about to get

You guys are about to get All right, we're clear. We're clear up

All right, we're clear. We're clear up here. We're clear. I'm pretty sure

here. We're clear. I'm pretty sure you've killed like three [laughter]

you've killed like three [laughter] civilians.

civilians. They all look exactly the same. Why do

They all look exactly the same. Why do all the innocent guys Why are they all

all the innocent guys Why are they all bald? Dude, basically is so [ __ ]

bald? Dude, basically is so [ __ ] funny. Oh, you little [ __ ] What? You

funny. Oh, you little [ __ ] What? You can't see? You got something in your

can't see? You got something in your eyes?

eyes? I can't see. [laughter] God,

I can't see. [laughter] God, this is brutal. This is

this is brutal. This is just innocent.

just innocent. Maed, murdered, and teabagged.

Maed, murdered, and teabagged. [laughter]

[laughter] That's my kind of day. All right, what

That's my kind of day. All right, what next? Who's this?

next? Who's this? Another

Jesus Christ. [laughter] This is This is not how you play.

This is This is not how you play. Resisting.

Resisting. They can't even understand. You're

They can't even understand. You're saying no. Stop resisting. You're just

saying no. Stop resisting. You're just deep frying.

deep frying. All right. [laughter] Be careful.

All right. [laughter] Be careful. Yummy's picking the lock, dude. You got

Yummy's picking the lock, dude. You got to cover

to cover pissing my pants, dude.

pissing my pants, dude. You got to cover up. [laughter]

You got to cover up. [laughter] All right. Peek the door. Peek it. Peek

All right. Peek the door. Peek it. Peek it. Peek it. All right. We're cleared.

it. Peek it. All right. We're cleared. We're cleared. We're cleared.

We're cleared. We're cleared. All right. Yummy.

All right. Yummy. I'm going to lock. I'm going to pick it.

I'm going to lock. I'm going to pick it. I'm going to pick the lock. All right.

I'm going to pick the lock. All right. [laughter]

[laughter] All right. All right, you get ready to

All right. All right, you get ready to blast two on the other side. I don't

blast two on the other side. I don't care. Just shoot him immediately.

care. Just shoot him immediately. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready.

Look at him go. Yeah, you clear that [ __ ] You clear

Yeah, you clear that [ __ ] You clear that [ __ ]

that [ __ ] Tactical gameplay, fellas. Tactical.

Tactical gameplay, fellas. Tactical. Shoot on sight no matter what they do.

Shoot on sight no matter what they do. This is

This is our innocent person. [laughter]

our innocent person. [laughter] All right, we got our evidence. We got

All right, we got our evidence. We got the evidence WE NEEDED.

the evidence WE NEEDED. EVIDENCE OF [screaming] WHAT?

EVIDENCE OF [screaming] WHAT? THIS IS [ __ ] SILL team zero.

THIS IS [ __ ] SILL team zero. Get the evidence. What even happened

Get the evidence. What even happened here? All right, we completed the

here? All right, we completed the objective. We won. We did good. We did

objective. We won. We did good. We did good, boys.

good, boys. Are we the bad guy?

Are we the bad guy? This criminal was was guarding the

This criminal was was guarding the illegal evidence. We're doing good.

illegal evidence. We're doing good. We're doing good.

We're doing good. Trying to make it home from work. Can

Trying to make it home from work. Can you go out that back door?

you go out that back door? Yeah. Here we go. Exit right here.

Yeah. Here we go. Exit right here. Okay, we're back to where you came.

Okay, we're back to where you came. Okay, hold on. Hold on. [laughter]

Okay, hold on. Hold on. [laughter] Get the [ __ ] out of my way.

Get the [ __ ] out of my way. I'm wearing my dream sexual drip right

I'm wearing my dream sexual drip right now.

now. Dude, Brandon, you guys are going to be

Dude, Brandon, you guys are going to be surprised at this boss up here. This

surprised at this boss up here. This thing is not easy. We're being invaded.

thing is not easy. We're being invaded. Same guy is invaded.

Same guy is invaded. It is the same guy. Let's fight on the

It is the same guy. Let's fight on the bridge. That'll be epic style,

bridge. That'll be epic style, dude. What the [ __ ]

dude. What the [ __ ] Hold on, Brandon. We're being invaded.

Hold on, Brandon. We're being invaded. Don't go all the way down. Let him come

Don't go all the way down. Let him come to us.

to us. Oh, dude. I wonder if I can use my

Oh, dude. I wonder if I can use my He's behind us. He's behind us.

He's behind us. He's behind us. Here. Let him Let him come to the

Here. Let him Let him come to the bridge. Here, Ethan. Come here. I'm

bridge. Here, Ethan. Come here. I'm going to use my tail on him and try and

going to use my tail on him and try and knock him off.

knock him off. Oh. OH.

Oh. OH. WHAT THE HELL? [laughter]

WHAT THE HELL? [laughter] DID YOU DIE?

[laughter] Are you serious? Are you serious?

Are you serious? Are you serious? He said, "Damn, I'm trying to knock him

He said, "Damn, I'm trying to knock him off." [laughter]

off." [laughter] Just jump off the bridge. Come on,

bro. What the [ __ ] did he shoot at you? What was that,

What was that, dude? It scared the [ __ ] out of me.

dude? It scared the [ __ ] out of me. Start it right.

Start it right. It scared the [ __ ] out of [laughter] me,

It scared the [ __ ] out of [laughter] me, dude.

dude. The first thing he whips out and you

The first thing he whips out and you just [ __ ] yourself and commit suicide.

just [ __ ] yourself and commit suicide. I thought it was going to shoot like a

I thought it was going to shoot like a big ass flame, dude. He had some massive

big ass flame, dude. He had some massive dragon head. Dude, I thought I was going

dragon head. Dude, I thought I was going to shoot a big ass flame down the whole

to shoot a big ass flame down the whole bridge and it it made me panic. Oh, THAT

bridge and it it made me panic. Oh, THAT WAS [ __ ] SO FUNNY.

WAS [ __ ] SO FUNNY. HE'S GOT A TESLA [screaming]

HE'S GOT A TESLA [screaming] COMING IN. LOOK OUT.

COMING IN. LOOK OUT. THERE'S ANOTHER BULLET WITH ME.

THERE'S ANOTHER BULLET WITH ME. TWO BULLET BILLS.

TWO BULLET BILLS. [screaming]

[screaming] OH, [ __ ] [laughter]

OH, [ __ ] [laughter] IT'S SCARING ME.

IT'S SCARING ME. Excuse me.

Excuse me. NO, SOUP.

NO, SOUP. NO. [screaming] PLEASE. PLEASE. WHY?

NO. [screaming] PLEASE. PLEASE. WHY? I WAS DOING SO GOOD.

I WAS DOING SO GOOD. THIRD PLACE. EVERYBODY GOT A [ __ ]

THIRD PLACE. EVERYBODY GOT A [ __ ] HANDICAP. [laughter]

HANDICAP. [laughter] THAT SUCKS.

THAT SUCKS. WHAT THE [ __ ] IS MY I BROKE MY SWITCH.

WHAT THE [ __ ] IS MY I BROKE MY SWITCH. GIVE HIM THE CROWN, BABY. GIVE HIM THE

GIVE HIM THE CROWN, BABY. GIVE HIM THE CROWN BY the green shell.

CROWN BY the green shell. Droid, what happened to you, man?

Droid, what happened to you, man? Can't wait to look at these audio files.

Can't wait to look at these audio files. Solid brick.

Solid brick. Whoever looked back at me in seventh

Whoever looked back at me in seventh place and threw a red shell at me was

place and threw a red shell at me was like punching a [ __ ] kid in a

like punching a [ __ ] kid in a wheelchair right in the head. That's

wheelchair right in the head. That's [laughter] not even fair.

[laughter] not even fair. Okay.

Okay. When are they going to add the

When are they going to add the wheelchair DLC? Huh?

wheelchair DLC? Huh? Holy [ __ ]

Holy [ __ ] When are they going to add the Ricky

When are they going to add the Ricky Burick? [laughter]

Burick? [laughter] Ricky Burwick in the game. He's just OP

Ricky Burwick in the game. He's just OP as [ __ ] He's got like rockets on the

as [ __ ] He's got like rockets on the side of his wheelchair.

side of his wheelchair. He's [laughter] completely modded out

He's [laughter] completely modded out doing circles in the map.

doing circles in the map. Man, is that [ __ ] got the twin

Man, is that [ __ ] got the twin turbo?

turbo? I was definitely a victim of

I was definitely a victim of circumstance that entire race. So,

circumstance that entire race. So, I was a victim of circumcision.

I was a victim of circumcision. [laughter]

AGAINST my consent, I MIGHT ADD. WHY DID THEY ASK ME WHEN I WAS A BIG

WHY DID THEY ASK ME WHEN I WAS A BIG BRO? WHY DIDN'T THEY ASK ME?

BRO? WHY DIDN'T THEY ASK ME? Oh [ __ ]

Oh [ __ ] I wanted the cheese DLC and the doctor

I wanted the cheese DLC and the doctor took it away. [laughter]

took it away. [laughter] Cheese.

Cheese. You think that's where molded cheese

You think that's where molded cheese originated from?

originated from? Absolutely.

Absolutely. Big cheese.

Big cheese. That's yummy.

That's yummy. Yummy. That's yummy. Never mind.

Yummy. That's yummy. Never mind. There's a minion. Who's the minion? Who

There's a minion. Who's the minion? Who is the minion? Bro, I got to get out. I

is the minion? Bro, I got to get out. I got to see this. Dude, what am I looking

got to see this. Dude, what am I looking at?

[laughter] Oh my god. Please run over the minion

Oh my god. Please run over the minion again, bro. [laughter]

that's so [ __ ] funny. Oh, please do it again. [laughter]

it again. [laughter] You missed him.

You missed him. I missed.

I missed. Yes, you did. Still standing right here.

Yes, you did. Still standing right here. I'm beating the minion's ass, bro.

That just made my night. Do you think anyone's ever done like rule 34 of

anyone's ever done like rule 34 of Eminem pregnant? [laughter]

Eminem pregnant? [laughter] Uh, I'm going to look. I'm real curious.

Uh, I'm going to look. I'm real curious. Rule 34, Eminem pregnant. Oh my god,

Rule 34, Eminem pregnant. Oh my god, that is a violent image. WHAT THE [ __ ]

that is a violent image. WHAT THE [ __ ] THE ADS ARE INSANE. THERE'S like a

THE ADS ARE INSANE. THERE'S like a little thing that wraps around your [ __ ]

little thing that wraps around your [ __ ] and then goes in your ass and jiggles.

and then goes in your ass and jiggles. What the hell am I looking at? Is

What the hell am I looking at? Is that why they advertising my uncle?

that why they advertising my uncle? I looked up rule 34. [laughter] Where is

I looked up rule 34. [laughter] Where is Eminem getting [ __ ] by? Is that Drake?

Eminem getting [ __ ] by? Is that Drake? Someone needs to draw pregnant Eminem

Someone needs to draw pregnant Eminem with his feet sticking forward with like

with his feet sticking forward with like blonde hair coming off of it. Like

blonde hair coming off of it. Like No, they don't.

No, they don't. Blonde hairy feet. Like blonde blonde

Blonde hairy feet. Like blonde blonde hairy hobbit feet on pregnant M&M's.

hairy hobbit feet on pregnant M&M's. Okay. What is that? [laughter]

Okay. What is that? [laughter] Drake has very smooth balls.

Drake has very smooth balls. Yeah, he really does. Oh, I didn't even

Yeah, he really does. Oh, I didn't even notice that. No just asked what we're

notice that. No just asked what we're doing and then 2 minutes later you can

doing and then 2 minutes later you can see [laughter] it.

I sent a picture of a guy in a foot costume. Eight minutes [laughter] later,

costume. Eight minutes [laughter] later, Douglas goes, "What are we doing?" And

Douglas goes, "What are we doing?" And then pour. He's probably like, "What the

then pour. He's probably like, "What the [ __ ] is [laughter] going on?"

[ __ ] is [laughter] going on?" He said, "Okay."

He said, "Okay." You said, "Okay."

You said, "Okay." I need an apology. [laughter]

Making making me see that [ __ ] [laughter]

Yo, what you guys doing? [laughter] And then Blur just puts in the most god

then Blur just puts in the most god awful [ __ ] ever.

awful [ __ ] ever. Is Eminem getting [ __ ]

Is Eminem getting [ __ ] Are you guys doing [laughter] anything

Are you guys doing [laughter] anything other than sending me nudes?

other than sending me nudes? Sage right now.

Sage right now. Yeah, we got a lot of fun things going

Yeah, we got a lot of fun things going on today.

on today. There's a theme to this session.

There's a theme to this session. Wait a second. Wait a second. Does the

Wait a second. Wait a second. Does the fee tie into what I see on Twitter?

fee tie into what I see on Twitter? Maybe.

Maybe. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. [ __ ] you guys. That's you as well. What?

[ __ ] you guys. That's you as well. What? [laughter]

[laughter] That's

That's five middle-aged men feed picss in a

five middle-aged men feed picss in a row. I'm like, [laughter] what?

row. I'm like, [laughter] what? You guys, you guys are cursed, bro.

You guys, you guys are cursed, bro. [laughter]

[laughter] Dude, you know what we should do?

Dude, you know what we should do? What?

What? We should go to where everyone's doing

We should go to where everyone's doing community service.

community service. Where's that at?

Where's that at? It's on a boat somewhere way out in the

It's on a boat somewhere way out in the ocean.

ocean. You've been there like 40 times? I I've

You've been there like 40 times? I I've only been there once. You tell me where

only been there once. You tell me where it's at.

it's at. I don't know where it's at on the map is

I don't know where it's at on the map is the thing, but it's it's it's somewhere

the thing, but it's it's it's somewhere off the coast.

off the coast. Okay. Okay, we'll find it. Let's go find

Okay. Okay, we'll find it. Let's go find it. Here, I'm I'm coming back to Grove.

it. Here, I'm I'm coming back to Grove. Does anybody have community service?

Does anybody have community service? Uh

Uh oh. [laughter]

oh. [laughter] I didn't even see you.

I didn't even see you. This is [ __ ] stupid. Is that it?

This is [ __ ] stupid. Is that it? Is that it? I think that's it. That's

Is that it? I think that's it. That's definitely it.

definitely it. What the [ __ ] Yeah, this is it. Why did

What the [ __ ] Yeah, this is it. Why did it look so microscopic?

it look so microscopic? Yeah, do them coms, [ __ ] [laughter]

Yeah, do them coms, [ __ ] [laughter] Do them coms.

[ __ ] We're doing our IDs. We're getting banned. We're getting [ __ ] [laughter]

banned. We're getting [ __ ] [laughter] banned.

banned. Dude, you think it's going to give him

Dude, you think it's going to give him more comms because we killed him?

more comms because we killed him? Probably. He's going to be like, he's

Probably. He's going to be like, he's going to be like, "There's guys on a on

going to be like, "There's guys on a on a car that just drove me over.

a car that just drove me over. The Rocket League car killed me while I

The Rocket League car killed me while I was doing comms."

was doing comms." They're going be like, "Yeah, you're

They're going be like, "Yeah, you're lying. That's 10 more comms."

lying. That's 10 more comms." He's running over here.

He's running over here. Where? Where is he?

Where? Where is he? He's down here.

He's down here. Your ass.

Your ass. Hey, what's up, man?

Hey, what's up, man? [ __ ] Wait, we can attack him and stuff.

[ __ ] Wait, we can attack him and stuff. He can't attack us.

He can't attack us. Some [ __ ] I swear to God.

Some [ __ ] I swear to God. Wait, what? What do you What do you mean

Wait, what? What do you What do you mean the coms that I got me? This is

the coms that I got me? This is [ __ ]

[ __ ] Why do you have comms?

Why do you have comms? I killed someone while getting an

I killed someone while getting an airrop. That's why I have coms.

airrop. That's why I have coms. All right, listen. I think we can get

All right, listen. I think we can get you out of your comms. All right, but

you out of your comms. All right, but you're going to have to do some stuff

you're going to have to do some stuff for us. You have to say

for us. You have to say gag mommy milkers. [ __ ] No. Do I have

gag mommy milkers. [ __ ] No. Do I have to add the money?

to add the money? I mean, if you want to get out of your

I mean, if you want to get out of your coms.

coms. [ __ ] Do I have to? Okay.

[ __ ] Do I have to? Okay. Yeah.

Yeah. I got mommy milkers. DADDY LIKE ME.

I got mommy milkers. DADDY LIKE ME. [laughter]

OKAY. ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. YEAH, THAT'S GOOD.

GOOD. [laughter]

OKAY. OKAY. This guy deserves to get out of his com. He's just going to get

of his com. He's just going to get teleported back and have more com.

teleported back and have more com. I think it just [ __ ] teleports me

I think it just [ __ ] teleports me back if I try to leave.

back if I try to leave. No. No. Not when we get out of here sexy

No. No. Not when we get out of here sexy style.

style. [ __ ]

[ __ ] What am I looking at right now?

What am I looking at right now? [laughter] I think he got teleported

[laughter] I think he got teleported back. I think he got tele. Oh, he's

back. I think he got tele. Oh, he's here. Wait. All right. You still here,

here. Wait. All right. You still here, buddy?

buddy? Yeah, I'm still here.

All right, you made it. You're good. Just [laughter] instantly teleported

Just [laughter] instantly teleported back with more coms. By the way, he said

back with more coms. By the way, he said [ __ ]

[ __ ] We're being invaded by Bloody Finger.

We're being invaded by Bloody Finger. Being invaded by Bloody Finger. Uh, he's

Being invaded by Bloody Finger. Uh, he's coming up the stairs. We should strike

coming up the stairs. We should strike him with magic as he runs up. We can do

him with magic as he runs up. We can do a little trolling. Magic is ass.

It's [ __ ] awesome. Bad timing. [laughter]

Bad timing. [laughter] I bet he [ __ ] hates his

I bet he [ __ ] hates his don't invade people, son. [laughter]

don't invade people, son. [laughter] Oh, it's my turn. Blur's already played

Oh, it's my turn. Blur's already played a card before I go back.

a card before I go back. All right. Our most powerful weapon

All right. Our most powerful weapon during the zombie apocalypse will be

during the zombie apocalypse will be blank. Our most powerful weapon during

blank. Our most powerful weapon during the zombie apocalypse will be [laughter]

why M. You know our humor is [ __ ] when

M. You know our humor is [ __ ] when we're just laughing at a letter. Our

we're just laughing at a letter. Our most powerful weapon during the zombie

most powerful weapon during the zombie apocalypse will be what in the [ __ ]

apocalypse will be what in the [ __ ] Hey, that's a turtle. [laughter]

Teenage Mutant place had guts. [laughter]

place had guts. [laughter] Looks like he just saw his mom's titties

Looks like he just saw his mom's titties or something.

or something. He's about to There's like a tear coming

He's about to There's like a tear coming out of the left eyeball.

out of the left eyeball. What do you mean? There's no more pizza.

What do you mean? There's no more pizza. [laughter]

[laughter] All right. Our most powerful weapon

All right. Our most powerful weapon during the zombie apocalypse will be Oh,

during the zombie apocalypse will be Oh, no.

no. Oh, hell yeah.

Oh, hell yeah. Where'd you find this picture of me?

Where'd you find this picture of me? [laughter]

[laughter] The doof face reveal.

The doof face reveal. This is really tough. Oh [ __ ] I'm going

This is really tough. Oh [ __ ] I'm going to have to go with n word turtle.

to have to go with n word turtle. [laughter]

[laughter] WHAT? WHAT ABOUT

WHAT? WHAT ABOUT LET'S GO. Nword turtle, baby.

LET'S GO. Nword turtle, baby. Whoa.

Whoa. Okay. Hello. Nice to meet you.

Okay. Hello. Nice to meet you. [laughter]

I just I just kill me. I just accept it. [laughter] THERE'S JUST THERE'S JUST NO

[laughter] THERE'S JUST THERE'S JUST NO [ __ ] I GOT STUCK IN YOUR [screaming]

[ __ ] I GOT STUCK IN YOUR [screaming] HOLY DOG [ __ ]

HOLY DOG [ __ ] FOLDED IN HALF. What the hell?

FOLDED IN HALF. What the hell? [laughter]

[laughter] Oh my god.

Oh my god. Don't worry, Blur. I'll help you.

Don't worry, Blur. I'll help you. Please don't help me.

Please don't help me. Can the US [laughter] military send

Can the US [laughter] military send Bruce? Yes.

Bruce? Yes. Matt, you

Matt, you I can end the race. I can end this race

I can end the race. I can end this race right here, right now. Do not peg me.

right here, right now. Do not peg me. Really?

Really? DO NOT PEG. DO NOT [screaming] PEG ME.

DO NOT PEG. DO NOT [screaming] PEG ME. KILL Mcnasty now. Mcnasty's going to

KILL Mcnasty now. Mcnasty's going to win.

win. No, he's not. Not on my watch.

No, he's not. Not on my watch. Grandma titties. Grandma's titties.

Grandma titties. Grandma's titties. Grandma titty sandwich.

Grandma titty sandwich. WHAT THE HELL?

WHAT THE HELL? MATT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

MATT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? [screaming]

WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? [screaming] [laughter]

[laughter] UNBELIEVABLE. UNBELIEVABLE.

UNBELIEVABLE. UNBELIEVABLE. Oh my god. I survived two of those

Oh my god. I survived two of those [ __ ] trucks, man.

[ __ ] trucks, man. I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF.

I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF. ALL RIGHT, LET'S [laughter]

ALL RIGHT, LET'S [laughter] I KEEP FALLING OFF, BRO. NEVER, SIR.

I KEEP FALLING OFF, BRO. NEVER, SIR. [laughter] Don't keep that energy.

[laughter] Don't keep that energy. You're going to be around for a long

You're going to be around for a long time. At least 10 years. God. Well,

time. At least 10 years. God. Well, soup's already been around for like how

soup's already been around for like how long? When did you start your channel?

long? When did you start your channel? 1700 BC. [laughter]

Like and subscribe in the [ __ ] [laughter] Bible.

[laughter] Bible. I should cry. I can't.

I should cry. I can't. If it's horse, he's dead. [laughter]

If it's horse, he's dead. [laughter] If it's horse, he's dead.

If it's horse, he's dead. Stealing medicine.

Stealing medicine. You're a lucky punk. I'm still going to

You're a lucky punk. I'm still going to follow you everywhere you go.

follow you everywhere you go. What the [ __ ] are YOU TALKING ABOUT?

What the [ __ ] are YOU TALKING ABOUT? [laughter]

[laughter] I HAVE no idea what you're talking

I HAVE no idea what you're talking about.

about. I think I know exactly what I'm talking

I think I know exactly what I'm talking about. [laughter]

about. [laughter] I think you're [ __ ] stupid is what

I think you're [ __ ] stupid is what you

you Why are you giggling so much? [laughter]

Why are you giggling so much? [laughter] Cuz I'm what?

Cuz I'm what? I just can't imagine what you're doing.

I just can't imagine what you're doing. What you're doing?

What you're doing? Oh, yeah. Oh, why don't you just look at

Oh, yeah. Oh, why don't you just look at me then?

me then? Just stop being racist, dude. What the

Just stop being racist, dude. What the hell? You're getting emails,

hell? You're getting emails, Black, check the email.

Black, check the email. I [laughter] don't We don't have an

I [laughter] don't We don't have an email. He was right.

email. He was right. I can see you pointing at that next

You just like targeting. [laughter] Dude's just following a [ __ ] NPC the

Dude's just following a [ __ ] NPC the whole game.

whole game. No, I swear to God I'm still right. He's

No, I swear to God I'm still right. He's been faking tasks. He's been faking

been faking tasks. He's been faking tasks.

tasks. It's [ __ ] hilarious.

It's [ __ ] hilarious. It has to be. [laughter]

It has to be. [laughter] I think we need to check the mental

I think we need to check the mental health of the sheriff's.

health of the sheriff's. Who is gaslighting Doo harder than

Who is gaslighting Doo harder than anyone else ever has? [laughter]

anyone else ever has? [laughter] I'll check it myself. I'll check it

I'll check it myself. I'll check it myself. I'm pretty sure this is actually

myself. I'm pretty sure this is actually profiling at this point.

profiling at this point. 100% it is. [laughter]

100% it is. [laughter] Okay, you're free to go. [sighs]

Okay, you're free to go. [sighs] So the whole time [laughter]

this Oh man,

Oh man, [laughter]

[laughter] my [ __ ] god.

my [ __ ] god. He was just watching my partner

He was just watching my partner [laughter] have a mental breakdown over

[laughter] have a mental breakdown over a Mexican one Mexican in his town and he

a Mexican one Mexican in his town and he went [ __ ] psycho. [laughter]

[laughter] If I end up being right, I'm going to

If I end up being right, I'm going to kill you in real life.

kill you in real life. Cut hair. Cut hair, barber.

Cut hair. Cut hair, barber. Why' you say that?

Why' you say that? Are you even able to get a haircut? Take

Are you even able to get a haircut? Take that hat off. What? I'm not wearing a

that hat off. What? I'm not wearing a hat, buddy. Okay. New target created.

hat, buddy. Okay. New target created. [laughter]

Actually, I think I might know who it is.

is. All right. Can you dance on this match?

All right. Can you dance on this match? You better shoot them then.

You better shoot them then. Should I try shooting them? See what

Should I try shooting them? See what happens.

happens. Yeah, cuz they're almost done with their

Yeah, cuz they're almost done with their tasks.

tasks. All right, I'll see what happens.

All right, I'll see what happens. I'm taking A STROLL.

I'm taking A STROLL. GOD DAMN IT. DAMN IT.

GOD DAMN IT. DAMN IT. WHAT WAS IT? BLUE HAT. Which one was it?

WHAT WAS IT? BLUE HAT. Which one was it? It was blue hat.

It was blue hat. Well, I'm still following this weirdo.

Well, I'm still following this weirdo. As you should. As you should. You should

As you should. As you should. You should You should totally follow him.

You should totally follow him. You should totally keep following him.

You should totally keep following him. [laughter]

[laughter] YOU WERE SO RIGHT ABOUT THE WHOLE THING.

YOU WERE SO RIGHT ABOUT THE WHOLE THING. I knew it.

I knew it. [laughter]

[laughter] I knew it.

I knew it. No way. [laughter]

No way. [laughter] I should have killed you. [ __ ] god.

I should have killed you. [ __ ] god. I should have killed you. No way.

I should have killed you. No way. I cannot believe you got away with that.

I cannot believe you got away with that. Oh my god. [laughter]

Oh my god. [laughter] And I'm the racist.

And I'm the racist. You guys can't breathe.

You guys can't breathe. Oh my god. [laughter]

Oh my god. [laughter] I knew BECAUSE YOU WERE GIGGLING LIKE A

I knew BECAUSE YOU WERE GIGGLING LIKE A LITTLE [ __ ] THE WHOLE TIME.

LITTLE [ __ ] THE WHOLE TIME. I'VE NEVER SEEN SOMEBODY GET GAS LIT

I'VE NEVER SEEN SOMEBODY GET GAS LIT harder in my entire life. [laughter]

harder in my entire life. [laughter] Oh my god. We played that so well

Oh my god. We played that so well because I knew if I did a task next to

because I knew if I did a task next to Bl, he would start sussing me out and

Bl, he would start sussing me out and you just got away with everything.

you just got away with everything. [laughter]

[laughter] I'm so right now.

I'm so right now. You were just too [ __ ] to pull the

You were just too [ __ ] to pull the trigger. And now a criminal stole money

trigger. And now a criminal stole money from the town. How dare you? Shitty cop.

from the town. How dare you? Shitty cop. Sheriff again. Let's see if it happens

Sheriff again. Let's see if it happens to me.

to me. Shitty cop. [laughter]

Shitty cop. [laughter] We have to go to the

We have to go to the We have to get on a little.

We have to get on a little. Okay. Yummy. Drop me off and then drive

Okay. Yummy. Drop me off and then drive up closer. [laughter] Trick. What are

up closer. [laughter] Trick. What are all these people doing here? Are we

all these people doing here? Are we supposed to kill him?

supposed to kill him? I don't think so. But

I don't think so. But I don't think we were supposed

I don't think we were supposed I'm pretty sure we weren't supposed to

I'm pretty sure we weren't supposed to kill.

kill. What are you Why are you saying that?

What are you Why are you saying that? You [ __ ] shot him.

You [ __ ] shot him. I finished the job. No witnesses

I finished the job. No witnesses allowed.

allowed. Oh, we do have to go to Epste Island.

Oh, we do have to go to Epste Island. Oh man.

Oh man. Something tells me we're [laughter]

Something tells me we're [laughter] Something tells me we're not going to

Something tells me we're not going to make it to Epste Island.

make it to Epste Island. I hope we're not even going to make it

I hope we're not even going to make it to the [ __ ] highest, bro. I've been

to the [ __ ] highest, bro. I've been recording for almost two hours and we

recording for almost two hours and we haven't even gotten to the [ __ ]

haven't even gotten to the [ __ ] HEIST. [laughter]

HEIST. [laughter] DAMN IT. THERE'S SO MANY WAVES.

DAMN IT. THERE'S SO MANY WAVES. YEAH, COME ON. Turn the ocean off.

YEAH, COME ON. Turn the ocean off. [laughter]

[laughter] Dear God, please turn off the Pacific

Dear God, please turn off the Pacific Ocean tonight. Thank you.

[laughter] That was the [ __ ] dumbest thing I've

That was the [ __ ] dumbest thing I've ever heard.

ever heard. [screaming] A

GRANDMA, when I take all her meds away, he'll reclaim one day off of the dream.

he'll reclaim one day off of the dream. [laughter]

Let's protect the city, gentlemen. We got to protect the city. Tell me where

got to protect the city. Tell me where to go. [screaming]

to go. [screaming] What are YOU DOING OVER HERE? AH, YOU'LL

What are YOU DOING OVER HERE? AH, YOU'LL be all right.

Oh, what the hell? while I was driving a [ __ ] vehicle and you ruined it. GOD

[ __ ] vehicle and you ruined it. GOD DAMN IT. WHAT THE [ __ ] IS WRONG WITH

DAMN IT. WHAT THE [ __ ] IS WRONG WITH YOU, BUDDY?

YOU, BUDDY? You just killed a manager of this

You just killed a manager of this establishment. [laughter]

establishment. [laughter] God damn you, Jimmy James. I was driving

God damn you, Jimmy James. I was driving a cool ass cop CAR AND YOU [ __ ]

a cool ass cop CAR AND YOU [ __ ] RUINED IT.

RUINED IT. I'LL GET YOU A better car. I'll get YOU

I'LL GET YOU A better car. I'll get YOU A BETTER CAR.

A BETTER CAR. [ __ ] YOU, JIMMY JAMES. [laughter] I WAS

[ __ ] YOU, JIMMY JAMES. [laughter] I WAS HAVING SO MUCH [ __ ] FUN.

HAVING SO MUCH [ __ ] FUN. ALL RIGHT, NO more fun for you, S.

ALL RIGHT, NO more fun for you, S. WHAT THE HELL? WHAT DID I DO?

WHAT THE HELL? WHAT DID I DO? I JUST DON'T WANT TO GET SHOT AGAIN.

I JUST DON'T WANT TO GET SHOT AGAIN. [laughter]

[laughter] ALL RIGHT, I won't shoot you. Please

ALL RIGHT, I won't shoot you. Please unfreeze me, please. I won't shoot you

unfreeze me, please. I won't shoot you again. I promise. Can I have an RPG?

again. I promise. Can I have an RPG? You might be able to have an RPG if you

You might be able to have an RPG if you guys can be responsible with your RPG.

guys can be responsible with your RPG. I'll be very responsible. I promise.

I'll be very responsible. I promise. All right, Z. I'm giving you a lot of

All right, Z. I'm giving you a lot of power here. So,

power here. So, a hell yeah, Jimmy.

a hell yeah, Jimmy. What a legend.

What a legend. Comes a lot of responsibility.

Comes a lot of responsibility. A lot of responsibility with all this

A lot of responsibility with all this power with all these

power with all these 120 RPG rounds. Hell yeah.

120 RPG rounds. Hell yeah. Can we just shoot it once? Should we

Can we just shoot it once? Should we just test it?

just test it? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Hey,

Hey, [laughter] there you go. Good job.

[laughter] there you go. Good job. Thank you, Jimmy. We're going to be the

Thank you, Jimmy. We're going to be the best goddamn cops on the server. This is

best goddamn cops on the server. This is hilarious. The admin's just [ __ ] He's

hilarious. The admin's just [ __ ] He's just getting us goated with the sauce.

just getting us goated with the sauce. He's busting it down sexual style for

He's busting it down sexual style for us. Leave a like on the video for this

us. Leave a like on the video for this epic ad. We're about to [ __ ] this server

epic ad. We're about to [ __ ] this server to hell. This RPGs. [laughter]

to hell. This RPGs. [laughter] Hi, what's going on? Oh, it's AG Autism

Hi, what's going on? Oh, it's AG Autism Gang. What's up, fellas? We thought we

Gang. What's up, fellas? We thought we lost y'all. Crunk, I like you, Kunk, you

lost y'all. Crunk, I like you, Kunk, you sound like you need an injection to put

sound like you need an injection to put you down. [laughter]

you down. [laughter] It's possible. I have had my vaccine

It's possible. I have had my vaccine once, but not the second one.

once, but not the second one. I'm talking about a DIFFERENT INJECTION.

I'm talking about a DIFFERENT INJECTION. [laughter]

[laughter] I'LL try them all.

I'LL try them all. I'll try them all. Man, I think you need

I'll try them all. Man, I think you need to lay off the ejection. I don't think

to lay off the ejection. I don't think you should get the second one.

you should get the second one. [laughter]

[laughter] I'll take whatever the doctor says I

I'll take whatever the doctor says I need.

need. [gasps]

[gasps] That's awesome.

That's awesome. I've been asking myself cuz I went to

I've been asking myself cuz I went to the doctor once and they say I have um

the doctor once and they say I have um that thing. They have a a [laughter]

that thing. They have a a [laughter] What the [ __ ] I just got downed. This

What the [ __ ] I just got downed. This guy can't be real.

guy can't be real. What are you doing on the floor?

What are you doing on the floor? I got sniped. [laughter]

Nobody's killing zombies. They just feel bad.

bad. No, the guy muttering in our ear.

No, the guy muttering in our ear. Hey. Yeah, whoever that is, shut the

Hey. Yeah, whoever that is, shut the [ __ ] up. I hear voices, too, sometimes.

[ __ ] up. I hear voices, too, sometimes. Hey, [ __ ] [laughter]

Hey, [ __ ] [laughter] Hey, Kron, do you have a seafood

Hey, Kron, do you have a seafood allergy?

allergy? See nuts. [laughter]

Is this guy I'm not I'm being serious. Is this guy

I'm not I'm being serious. Is this guy actually [ __ ] or is he just

actually [ __ ] or is he just [laughter]

[laughter] He said CD's nuts. [ __ ] bazinga,

He said CD's nuts. [ __ ] bazinga, baby.

baby. Bazinga. [laughter]

Bazinga. [laughter] Hey, Kron, do you like watching Big Bang

Hey, Kron, do you like watching Big Bang Theory?

Theory? BIG BANG YOUR MOM, [ __ ]

BIG BANG YOUR MOM, [ __ ] [laughter]

[laughter] GOD DAMN YOU, KUNK. That's it, man. I

GOD DAMN YOU, KUNK. That's it, man. I got to do it. I'm sorry.

got to do it. I'm sorry. No, no, [screaming] no, no.

No, no, [screaming] no, no. He's in a better place now. [laughter]

He's in a better place now. [laughter] Hey, I'm coming to pick y'all up. Y'all

Hey, I'm coming to pick y'all up. Y'all stay alive, man.

If I can get there without [ __ ] dying. I can see a bright future ahead

dying. I can see a bright future ahead of us. Theo,

of us. Theo, we can open a vape shop.

we can open a vape shop. [clears throat and laughter]

Oh, are you kidding me? What? No way. What are the [ __ ] odds of that, bro?

What are the [ __ ] odds of that, bro? What'd y'all do?

What'd y'all do? I got my car [ __ ] stuck perfectly

I got my car [ __ ] stuck perfectly between a rock and a hard place. Like,

between a rock and a hard place. Like, literally

literally between a rock and a goddamn tree.

between a rock and a goddamn tree. Oh, there you go. Oh,

Oh, there you go. Oh, there you go. Good job, boy. Good job.

there you go. Good job, boy. Good job. I'm used to getting things unstuck cuz

I'm used to getting things unstuck cuz my sister, she always gets stuck in that

my sister, she always gets stuck in that their washing machine and the only thing

their washing machine and the only thing that'll get her out is my penis. It is

that'll get her out is my penis. It is crazy though. That is kind of a paradox

crazy though. That is kind of a paradox that the washing machine would get stuck

that the washing machine would get stuck [clears throat] in the washing machine.

[clears throat] in the washing machine. I don't know how that works. [laughter]

Hey, Theo. Yeah, dude.

Yeah, dude. Can you say please like the video?

Can you say please like the video? Why is that?

Why is that? I don't know. That would just be kind of

I don't know. That would just be kind of funny just for legal reasons. [laughter]

funny just for legal reasons. [laughter] For legal reasons, huh? Are you trying

For legal reasons, huh? Are you trying to give me consent to something? What I

to give me consent to something? What I mean?

mean? Oh, that's Oh, that's for losers.

Oh, that's Oh, that's for losers. [laughter]

Thank home. Well, that's not good for one person.

one person. Look how [laughter] tiny he is.

Look how [laughter] tiny he is. Look like we look like that couch meme.

Look like we look like that couch meme. He's just immediately back. [laughter]

He's just immediately back. [laughter] Block the truck. Make a blockade.

Block the truck. Make a blockade. [ __ ] all y'all. [laughter]

[ __ ] all y'all. [laughter] Go get him. [ __ ] DAMN IT.

Go get him. [ __ ] DAMN IT. RUN HIM DOWN, [screaming] BOYS.

Holy [ __ ] Oh, this is not going to end well. The god fell.

well. The god fell. Oh no.

Oh no. Oh, you're dead AS HELL, BOY.

Oh, you're dead AS HELL, BOY. OH [ __ ] YOU MISSED. [laughter] I

OH [ __ ] YOU MISSED. [laughter] I MISSED.

MISSED. There's a guy in a cage on the side.

There's a guy in a cage on the side. L, what did you say?

L, what did you say? There's a guy in a cage on the side of

There's a guy in a cage on the side of Yeah, that's the prize if you win.

Yeah, that's the prize if you win. [laughter]

Level 500, you little [ __ ] [laughter] He has a star next to his name. He's

He has a star next to his name. He's like got the

like got the How did you get level 500 and you're

How did you get level 500 and you're this [ __ ] bad?

this [ __ ] bad? Do you want me to start trying?

Do you want me to start trying? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. [laughter]

Okay. [laughter] How about you start trying to get some

How about you start trying to get some [ __ ] boy? How about that? Huh?

[ __ ] boy? How about that? Huh? Why don't you Why don't you coach me?

Why don't you Why don't you coach me? What's the first step?

What's the first step? A wuga. A wuga.

A wuga. A wuga. All right, then. But [laughter]

All right, then. But [laughter] saying that,

saying that, walk up to a a woman and say, "Hello

walk up to a a woman and say, "Hello there, fair maiden. Your breasticles

there, fair maiden. Your breasticles made me go auga."

made me go auga." Your [laughter] birthing go.

Your [laughter] birthing go. I'm glad you broke character there.

I'm glad you broke character there. [laughter]

[laughter] You couldn't even get through that

You couldn't even get through that [ __ ] hell sentence. So, what do I do

[ __ ] hell sentence. So, what do I do if she says, "Damn, that's hot." What do

if she says, "Damn, that's hot." What do I What then?

I What then? And you whiff it out and you say, "Choo,

And you whiff it out and you say, "Choo, [laughter]

here comes the airplane. Open the mouth."

mouth." Yeah. Then you go, "I'm about to start

Yeah. Then you go, "I'm about to start my engine."

my engine." Start twirling it around real quick.

Start twirling it around real quick. Then you need to start ripping on your

Then you need to start ripping on your pubes like you do an old lawn mower to

pubes like you do an old lawn mower to get it started. [laughter]

get it started. [laughter] Start gluing them to your face and make

Start gluing them to your face and make it make a beard for the pubes. And then

it make a beard for the pubes. And then make out [laughter] with her. Get your

make out [laughter] with her. Get your pubes stuck in her throat. Give her the

pubes stuck in her throat. Give her the Heimlick maneuver.

Heimlick maneuver. Then put a ring on at the end.

Then put a ring on at the end. [laughter]

[laughter] Man, that [ __ ] is yours forever.

Man, that [ __ ] is yours forever. If you're gay, say something.

Put my [ __ ] to your mouth. You [ __ ]

[ __ ] I got him. I got you. Hey, is Joe there?

I got him. I got you. Hey, is Joe there? [ __ ] You understand?

[ __ ] You understand? No, I don't understand. Say more. I

No, I don't understand. Say more. I don't understand.

don't understand. I need you. You should make an

I need you. You should make an encapsulating package.

encapsulating package. Hang up. Just hang up, you [ __ ]

Hang up. Just hang up, you [ __ ] No, you hang up.

No, you hang up. Hang up.

Hang up. No, you hang up. You hang up first. You

No, you hang up. You hang up first. You hang up, you [ __ ] You hang up,

hang up, you [ __ ] You hang up, [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ]

[ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] You hang up. I'll put my dick

[ __ ] You hang up. I'll put my dick to your mother. You understand?

to your mother. You understand? You put my mother thick and

You put my mother thick and [ __ ] [ __ ]

[ __ ] [ __ ] Please let me call. Please let me call.

Please let me call. Please let me call. Hello. I put dick in mother teeth.

Hello. I put dick in mother teeth. [laughter]

Mother Chad. Mother Chad. [ __ ] Son of lesbian. Lesbian.

Son of lesbian. Lesbian. [laughter]

[laughter] Super's taking.

Super's taking. Mother Cho to you, my friend. Mother

Mother Cho to you, my friend. Mother Chad to you. [laughter]

Chad to you. [laughter] Randy. Randy.

Randy. Randy. What? How many gigabits do I have? 47.

What? How many gigabits do I have? 47. Randy. Do you know what's Randy is? You

Randy. Do you know what's Randy is? You are Randy Kabach,

are Randy Kabach, my friend. Have you talked?

my friend. Have you talked? Have you talked to the ladies?

Have you talked to the ladies? Say Rundy's dick all over your face.

Say Rundy's dick all over your face. Ladies.

Ladies. Yeah. Ladies, did you talk to the

Yeah. Ladies, did you talk to the ladies?

ladies? Your mama is Randi.

Your mama is Randi. Yes. Ladies nuts across your face.

Yes. Ladies nuts across your face. Runies nuts all over your mouth. Big

Runies nuts all over your mouth. Big mama. You are a reand and ganda.

mama. You are a reand and ganda. I don't know what you're saying. You get

I don't know what you're saying. You get no naan bread today, my friend. No naan

no naan bread today, my friend. No naan bread for you.

bread for you. You're a ganda. Do you know what ganda

You're a ganda. Do you know what ganda is?

is? You get no butter chicken. Zero butter

You get no butter chicken. Zero butter chicken for you.

chicken for you. Mother chicken. No gar.

Mother chicken. No gar. [laughter]

[laughter] Mother chicken,

Mother chicken, my friend. How do I get the mother

my friend. How do I get the mother chicken? One curry. Mother [laughter]

chicken? One curry. Mother [laughter] chicken. Can I please get one large

chicken. Can I please get one large order of the mother chicken to go,

order of the mother chicken to go, please? [laughter]

You had to speak up. You're very quiet. Talk like a man. Use your chest.

Talk like a man. Use your chest. I am not man. I am female.

I am not man. I am female. I'm mother chicken.

I'm mother chicken. You are female.

You are female. Yes,

Yes, you are female. Yes. Put your [ __ ] on

you are female. Yes. Put your [ __ ] on the phone. [laughter]

the phone. [laughter] No. No. I'm going to put my dick. You

No. No. I'm going to put my dick. You like dick, right?

like dick, right? Oh, yes. Please show me the boob. I got

Oh, yes. Please show me the boob. I got Show me the Ba.

Show me the Ba. Ba. What Bubba is? [laughter]

Ba. What Bubba is? [laughter] YOU KNOW WHAT BUBBA? My friend, my

YOU KNOW WHAT BUBBA? My friend, my friend, show me Ba and Ve. Say nothing

friend, show me Ba and Ve. Say nothing if you are the gay.

if you are the gay. Ba.

Hello. Say nothing if you are the gay. Say nothing if mother chicken.

Say nothing if mother chicken. Say nothing if mother chicken. If you

Say nothing if mother chicken. If you like to [ __ ] dude booty, say nothing at

like to [ __ ] dude booty, say nothing at all.

Mother chicken. Mother chicken. Mother chicken. Mother chicken.

Mother chicken. Mother chicken. Baba J. Let's play Papa J.

Baba J. Let's play Papa J. Let's play.

BTS. I LOVE BTS.

I LOVE BTS. I LOVE BTS.

I LOVE BTS. My name is Jeff.

My name is Jeff. My name

My name My friend, how much goat [ __ ] have you

My friend, how much goat [ __ ] have you [ __ ] today, my friend? Tell me.

[ __ ] today, my friend? Tell me. My friend, YOU LIKE THAT SONG? YOU LIKE

My friend, YOU LIKE THAT SONG? YOU LIKE CAN YOU play Can you play the song? It's

CAN YOU play Can you play the song? It's very nice song. Can you play it?

very nice song. Can you play it? I'm on the Google Chrome. What do I need

I'm on the Google Chrome. What do I need to type in?

to type in? Type in that I want my dick. I want a

Type in that I want my dick. I want a dick in my ass. Type that. Okay, I would

dick in my ass. Type that. Okay, I would type in free goldpussy.gov.

type in free goldpussy.gov. Free goldpussy.gov. Play some songs.

Free goldpussy.gov. Play some songs. Okay, I would play the song. Here we go.

Okay, I would play the song. Here we go. Free goatpussy.gov.

Free goatpussy.gov. Free goatpussy.gov.

Free goatpussy.gov. Sing along. Free goatpussy.gov.

Sing along. Free goatpussy.gov. Your turn. Free goatpussy.gov.

[laughter] Oh, let's go in the police station. Oh

Oh, let's go in the police station. Oh my god, there's so many. Hello. Hello.

my god, there's so many. Hello. Hello. Hello.

Hello. Who you calling a [ __ ] You

Who you calling a [ __ ] You [ __ ] In your head. How about that,

[ __ ] In your head. How about that, [ __ ]

[ __ ] You bald head.

You bald head. You got a bald head.

You got a bald head. You goddamn right.

You goddamn right. You got a bald head.

You got a bald head. You goddamn right. I got a bald head.

You goddamn right. I got a bald head. You know why? Cuz your daddy shaved me

You know why? Cuz your daddy shaved me clean.

clean. Your daddy shaved me clean with his

Your daddy shaved me clean with his tongue.

tongue. Man, for real, though. You got a big

Man, for real, though. You got a big nose.

nose. Yeah. No [ __ ] buddy. Yeah, bro.

Yeah. No [ __ ] buddy. Yeah, bro. You're looking like Pinocchio's brother,

You're looking like Pinocchio's brother, man.

man. I'm handsome Squidward, buddy. Get it

I'm handsome Squidward, buddy. Get it right. his brother. You're so poor you

right. his brother. You're so poor you got two different shoes on, man.

got two different shoes on, man. [laughter]

[laughter] Dude got the Mario and Luigi Nikes on.

Dude got the Mario and Luigi Nikes on. What the hell? [laughter]

What the hell? [laughter] Bro, can you even afford these? Look

Bro, can you even afford these? Look what you're wearing.

what you're wearing. Bro, can you even afford these, bro?

Bro, can you even afford these, bro? [laughter]

Five different sets of trainers. Why are you trembling? You look like a

Why are you trembling? You look like a whole ass grape, dude. What's his

whole ass grape, dude. What's his outfit, man? Supposed to be a grape.

outfit, man? Supposed to be a grape. Look like a goddamn fruit of the loom

Look like a goddamn fruit of the loom mascot. What

mascot. What the hell are you wearing? Is that your

the hell are you wearing? Is that your mom's?

mom's? You wish you could afford this, bro. You

You wish you could afford this, bro. You wish you could afford it. [laughter]

wish you could afford it. [laughter] Dude's flexing his GTA money.

Dude's flexing his GTA money. Some [ __ ]

Some [ __ ] You got on You got on your mama's

You got on You got on your mama's tracksuit while she goes to the park.

tracksuit while she goes to the park. I'm wearing your I'm wearing your

I'm wearing your I'm wearing your sister's tracksuit.

sister's tracksuit. Yeah, I got I have a brother actually.

Yeah, I got I have a brother actually. We make sweet love.

We make sweet love. Yeah, you you do look kind of like a

Yeah, you you do look kind of like a hillbilly.

hillbilly. It's hillbilly, not hillbilly. Let me

It's hillbilly, not hillbilly. Let me educate you. Let me learn you something.

educate you. Let me learn you something. I bet your teeth in game look the same

I bet your teeth in game look the same as they do in real life.

as they do in real life. No, I bet I bet your nose looks like in

No, I bet I bet your nose looks like in real life, bro.

real life, bro. Yeah, I had plastic surgery. Look like

Yeah, I had plastic surgery. Look like Handsome Squidward.

Handsome Squidward. Yeah, they [ __ ] you up.

Yeah, they [ __ ] you up. What the [ __ ]

What the [ __ ] Y'all were just jealous. Y'all were

Y'all were just jealous. Y'all were jealous. I look like handsome Squidward.

jealous. I look like handsome Squidward. O, this this guy's saying I'm broke. But

O, this this guy's saying I'm broke. But look what he's wearing.

look what he's wearing. I never said you were broke. I just said

I never said you were broke. I just said you're wearing your mom's tracksuit.

you're wearing your mom's tracksuit. That's all I said.

That's all I said. Yeah. How How much money you got, bro?

Yeah. How How much money you got, bro? John spot you some money. [laughter]

John spot you some money. [laughter] I give you I'll give you a dollar. Yeah,

I give you I'll give you a dollar. Yeah, give me a come down the road. Come down

give me a come down the road. Come down the road. I beg.

the road. I beg. I'll come down the road, bro.

I'll come down the road, bro. Come down the road. Come down the road.

Come down the road. Come down the road. Come down the road.

Come down the road. I'll fight you both right now. We'll

I'll fight you both right now. We'll have you fair play.

have you fair play. Are you going to stab me with your

Are you going to stab me with your little rainbow horn? [gasps]

little rainbow horn? [gasps] [laughter]

[laughter] I'll get him. Get him.

I'll get him. Get him. I

I think I'm out of ammo.

think I'm out of ammo. Reload.

Reload. I'm out of ammo.

I'm out of ammo. What the hell? [laughter] I got hit by a

What the hell? [laughter] I got hit by a random person. I hate my hot dog. I'm

random person. I hate my hot dog. I'm I'm running down the road eating MY HOT

I'm running down the road eating MY HOT DOG. [laughter] NO, [screaming] I'M

DOG. [laughter] NO, [screaming] I'M DEAD. I RAN OUT OF AMMO, BRO. I'm

DEAD. I RAN OUT OF AMMO, BRO. I'm running away eating my hot dog.

running away eating my hot dog. [laughter]

[laughter] Like the broke [ __ ] I am.

Like the broke [ __ ] I am. Your next broke

Your next broke arrested. He assaulted me. What are you

arrested. He assaulted me. What are you actually doing?

actually doing? N you're getting arrested, [ __ ]

N you're getting arrested, [ __ ] Everyone, please calm down.

Everyone, please calm down. For no reason acting like I'm I'm the

For no reason acting like I'm I'm the next police commissioner. What are you

next police commissioner. What are you doing? Follow [laughter] me.

doing? Follow [laughter] me. Franklin, you search me ID right now.

Franklin, you search me ID right now. Show me your bungus. Show me your

Show me your bungus. Show me your butthole.

butthole. Anything off me, you're [ __ ]

Anything off me, you're [ __ ] Show me your butthole.

Show me your butthole. If you confiscate, you're [ __ ]

If you confiscate, you're [ __ ] Show me your butthole, bro.

Show me your butthole, bro. Take off those mama panties.

Take off those mama panties. Yeah. Remove the You [laughter] can't

Yeah. Remove the You [laughter] can't block the whole rope.

block the whole rope. WHERE'S

WHERE'S WHERE'S

WHERE'S OH, GET [ __ ] GET [ __ ] [laughter]

OH, GET [ __ ] GET [ __ ] [laughter] YEAH, get [ __ ] [ __ ]

YEAH, get [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] Peace out, [ __ ] Yeah, [ __ ] You

[ __ ] Peace out, [ __ ] Yeah, [ __ ] You going to jail. THIS HOT DOG TASTES GOOD

going to jail. THIS HOT DOG TASTES GOOD AS [ __ ]

AS [ __ ] The two of you in the backpacks, you

The two of you in the backpacks, you need to leave the area.

need to leave the area. You need to suck my nuts.

You need to suck my nuts. I shot the guy that was shooting at you.

I shot the guy that was shooting at you. Yeah, this guy. You're going to jail,

Yeah, this guy. You're going to jail, [ __ ]

[ __ ] Let go of me. Let

Let go of me. Let me let me get out of here. Get out of

me let me get out of here. Get out of here. The situation. Get out of here.

here. The situation. Get out of here. Leave the area. Leave the arena. Leave

Leave the area. Leave the arena. Leave [laughter] the

[laughter] the Yo, where's Osmon?

Yo, where's Osmon? Nobody's getting him. You're going to

Nobody's getting him. You're going to jail, [ __ ]

jail, [ __ ] Who's the broke? Who's broke now? Who's

Who's the broke? Who's broke now? Who's broke now, [ __ ] WHO'S BROKE NOW,

broke now, [ __ ] WHO'S BROKE NOW, [ __ ]

[ __ ] THEY ASSAULTED ME, MAN. And you're

THEY ASSAULTED ME, MAN. And you're letting them go. Are you done?

letting them go. Are you done? See you later. See you later. Look at

See you later. See you later. Look at them. You're actually done.

them. You're actually done. You're done, mate.

You're done, mate. You're actually dumb. They assaulted us.

You're actually dumb. They assaulted us. You actually

You actually Are you done, bro?

Are you done, bro? Oh, I got POV, mate. Watch. Watch. I got

Oh, I got POV, mate. Watch. Watch. I got POV. I got a POV of your daddy. Watch.

POV. I got a POV of your daddy. Watch. [laughter]

[laughter] You're fine, mate. You fine.

We're just in here causing chaos. I don't know, right?

I don't know, right? Been in here for like 30 minutes just

Been in here for like 30 minutes just already causing [ __ ] Hey, I want to I

already causing [ __ ] Hey, I want to I want to drink some ale. Look at you

want to drink some ale. Look at you sitting in that seat, you little Dobby

sitting in that seat, you little Dobby looking [ __ ] He looks dumb as hell,

looking [ __ ] He looks dumb as hell, man.

man. Yeah, that's why you can't even sit down

Yeah, that's why you can't even sit down cuz your mama dead. Shut up.

cuz your mama dead. Shut up. Granny ain't got no knees.

Granny ain't got no knees. You got no drip. You

You got no drip. You can't double granny, bro. [laughter]

can't double granny, bro. [laughter] Why you sound like a hillbilly?

Why you sound like a hillbilly? Why you sound like a bro?

Why you sound like a bro? Because he is a hillbilly.

Because he is a hillbilly. Is that like you're about to pull out a

Is that like you're about to pull out a knife on the [ __ ] train station and

knife on the [ __ ] train station and stab me?

stab me? Do something.

Do something. Do something, bro. Do something. You

Do something, bro. Do something. You going to spit some tea on me? You going

going to spit some tea on me? You going to stab me in the train?

to stab me in the train? Come on. Swing first. Swing first.

Come on. Swing first. Swing first. It's a good thing I didn't take the

It's a good thing I didn't take the Hogwarts Express here. I would have been

Hogwarts Express here. I would have been [ __ ] stabbed to death by this guy.

[ __ ] stabbed to death by this guy. Yeah, bro.

Yeah, bro. They didn't take

They didn't take So funny. Listen, listen, listen. We

So funny. Listen, listen, listen. We have one common enemy, though. That ger

have one common enemy, though. That ger over there. That little geyzer.

over there. That little geyzer. Who the [ __ ] is the gez? What are you

Who the [ __ ] is the gez? What are you even talking about?

even talking about? The little troll thing.

The little troll thing. Goddamn Prince Phillips role player.

Goddamn Prince Phillips role player. Yes. Prince Phillips role player. What

Yes. Prince Phillips role player. What the [ __ ] do you mean do something in? Do

the [ __ ] do you mean do something in? Do something.

something. Why do you role play having normal

Why do you role play having normal teeth? [laughter]

teeth? [laughter] Why don't you role play? Yeah.

Why don't you role play? Yeah. Why don't you ROLE PLAY SOME [ __ ]

Why don't you ROLE PLAY SOME [ __ ] [laughter]

[laughter] How about you pull some [ __ ]

How about you pull some [ __ ] Wait, your [ __ ] is your sister.

Wait, your [ __ ] is your sister. You got that right, baby.

You got that right, baby. Oh my god.

Oh my god. She got the best [ __ ] in the whole

She got the best [ __ ] in the whole house.

house. [ __ ] I [laughter] didn't expect

[ __ ] I [laughter] didn't expect you to agree with me on that one.

you to agree with me on that one. Got to keep it in the family, baby. Keep

Got to keep it in the family, baby. Keep it in the family.

it in the family. True.

True. Yeah. We ain't no uh we ain't no uh

Yeah. We ain't no uh we ain't no uh muggle blood in this house. You know

muggle blood in this house. You know what I mean?

what I mean? I mean, I'm different though. I'm

I mean, I'm different though. I'm no muggle blood. No muggle blood. Keep

no muggle blood. No muggle blood. Keep it pure, baby. Keep it incest.

it pure, baby. Keep it incest. Hey, could you guys take this outside?

Hey, could you guys take this outside? Hey, you shut the [ __ ] up, you stupid

Hey, you shut the [ __ ] up, you stupid piece of [ __ ]

piece of [ __ ] You shut up.

You shut up. I will literally castrate your

I will literally castrate your be put in detention. Right. Where we

be put in detention. Right. Where we meeting after this? [laughter]

meeting after this? [laughter] I've been put in detention. God damn it,

I've been put in detention. God damn it, Jay. You got us put in detention, man.

Jay. You got us put in detention, man. What the hell's wrong with you?

What the hell's wrong with you? I'm sorry, man. Send us all to detention

I'm sorry, man. Send us all to detention every 5 minutes. We're going to kill

every 5 minutes. We're going to kill her. We've killed her twice already.

her. We've killed her twice already. [ __ ] kill her. We have to go kill

[ __ ] kill her. We have to go kill her. Do you want to join the group?

her. Do you want to join the group? Listen, [ __ ] We need to plan this. We

Listen, [ __ ] We need to plan this. We can't just We can't just go [ __ ]

can't just We can't just go [ __ ] crazy and just attack her. We have to We

crazy and just attack her. We have to We have to plan it.

have to plan it. All right. All right. All right. So, I

All right. All right. All right. So, I say our plan is Yeah. We wait until the

say our plan is Yeah. We wait until the prefects are all gone. Yeah. We wait

prefects are all gone. Yeah. We wait until she's sleeping. All right. If

until she's sleeping. All right. If she's not sleeping with one eye open.

she's not sleeping with one eye open. What is up with this guy and people

What is up with this guy and people sleeping?

sleeping? We take her blanket off and we stab her

We take her blanket off and we stab her in the neck. All right. Not a word out.

in the neck. All right. Not a word out. That's not a good plan. That's

That's not a good plan. That's You got a You got a better plan there.

You got a You got a better plan there. [ __ ] with the plan. Stan with the

[ __ ] with the plan. Stan with the planet.

planet. Stupid bastard.

Stupid bastard. And with the plan. Let's hear it.

And with the plan. Let's hear it. Right. Right. We gather We got to gather

Right. Right. We gather We got to gather people. We got to gather people. Yeah.

people. We got to gather people. Yeah. And then we need to build an army. Got

And then we need to build an army. Got to meet somewhere. Build a [ __ ] army.

to meet somewhere. Build a [ __ ] army. Tell some people. Yeah. So, after this

Tell some people. Yeah. So, after this free time, go tell everyone or anyone

free time, go tell everyone or anyone you can trust to meet somewhere. I say

you can trust to meet somewhere. I say we meet in the sewers. Meet in the

we meet in the sewers. Meet in the sewers after free time. Yeah.

sewers after free time. Yeah. Get as many people as you can

Get as many people as you can that are trustworthy. And then we plan

that are trustworthy. And then we plan what the [ __ ] we do.

what the [ __ ] we do. Didn't y'all lose to a bunch of rednecks

Didn't y'all lose to a bunch of rednecks with musketss? What makes me trust

with musketss? What makes me trust y'all?

y'all? We've got like 5 minutes to find out

We've got like 5 minutes to find out where it is. If you can't find where it

where it is. If you can't find where it is in 5 minutes, you're a [ __ ] tad. I'll

is in 5 minutes, you're a [ __ ] tad. I'll just follow the tea and crumpet trail.

just follow the tea and crumpet trail. Follow the tea and crumpets. I'll leave

Follow the tea and crumpets. I'll leave tea and crumpets, so don't [laughter]

tea and crumpets, so don't [laughter] you worry.

you worry. What is even going on? We're We're

What is even going on? We're We're scheming to kill an admin.

scheming to kill an admin. I'm sorry for calling you a hillbilly.

I'm sorry for calling you a hillbilly. Can that be your new nickname, though?

Can that be your new nickname, though? Sure, that's fine. I'm sorry for calling

Sure, that's fine. I'm sorry for calling you bro. [laughter]

you bro. [laughter] Shoot me and you like children,

Shoot me and you like children, DUDE.

DUDE. [laughter]

DUDE, I think I actually remember this like in a commercial.

like in a commercial. There you go.

There you go. I don't remember the name though cuz I'm

I don't remember the name though cuz I'm not a freaking nerd.

not a freaking nerd. Oh, come on, man. You would have got so

Oh, come on, man. You would have got so much puss if you had like hit a sick

much puss if you had like hit a sick grind on a

grind on a puss.

puss. Yeah, sick puss. How much puss did the

Yeah, sick puss. How much puss did the soaps get you, dude?

soaps get you, dude? Stop calling it puss. [laughter]

Stop calling it puss. [laughter] What do you want me to call it? Snatch.

What do you want me to call it? Snatch. Lilo and snatch. [laughter]

Lilo and snatch. [laughter] Okay.

I don't think I'll be watching that one. [laughter]

Snatch, crackle, and pop. Gross.

Gross. When you pour milk in the [ __ ]

When you pour milk in the [ __ ] All right. All right. [laughter]

All right. All right. [laughter] Or or or a hole drowning.

Or or or a hole drowning. What?

What? What?

What? We're not even speaking [laughter]

We're not even speaking [laughter] English anymore.

English anymore. Orb. Orb butthole vagina.

Orb. Orb butthole vagina. If you come in an [ __ ] isn't it kind

If you come in an [ __ ] isn't it kind of just a kiddie pool if you think about

of just a kiddie pool if you think about it?

it? Wa damn

Wa damn this blunt hitting right now.

this blunt hitting right now. Nightmare blunt rotation. [laughter]

Nightmare blunt rotation. [laughter] This voice channel right now.

This voice channel right now. Yummy. What did you call what?

Yummy. What did you call what? [laughter]

[laughter] What did you say?

What did you say? The lunch bucket boof pack.

The lunch bucket boof pack. He's talking about Spongebob. I'm trying

He's talking about Spongebob. I'm trying to say Plankton's restaurant. He called

to say Plankton's restaurant. He called it the lunch bucket and he said the

it the lunch bucket and he said the lunch bucket boof pack.

lunch bucket boof pack. The lunch bucket. It's like how it's

The lunch bucket. It's like how it's what German kids go to school with or

what German kids go to school with or something. [laughter]

Do get the cool out the bucket. Get the lunch bucket, dog. [laughter]

All right, it looks like I picked the wrong week to quit. Blank [ __ ] last

wrong week to quit. Blank [ __ ] last week before we recorded this video.

week before we recorded this video. I picked the wrong week to quit being a

I picked the wrong week to quit being a [ __ ] YouTuber. God damn. Looks like I

[ __ ] YouTuber. God damn. Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit

picked the wrong week to quit coding [ __ ] [laughter]

coding [ __ ] [laughter] It won't let me vote for it until I read

It won't let me vote for it until I read the rest of them. So, [laughter]

the rest of them. So, [laughter] oh god, we have to see them.

oh god, we have to see them. Three points. Let it end.

Three points. Let it end. All right. Looks like I picked the wrong

All right. Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit. Oh [laughter] god, dog. I

week to quit. Oh [laughter] god, dog. I agree. I agree, Donald.

agree. I agree, Donald. Looks like I picked the wrong week to

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit, dude. [laughter]

Please, please pick that car. [laughter] FUNNY [ __ ] GIVE MY DAD A POINT,

FUNNY [ __ ] GIVE MY DAD A POINT, PLEASE. Looks like I picked the wrong

PLEASE. Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit. Burger King meal bundle.

week to quit. Burger King meal bundle. What the [laughter] [ __ ] is that?

What the [laughter] [ __ ] is that? I got to pick.

I got to pick. Oh my [ __ ] god. [screaming]

Oh my [ __ ] god. [screaming] [laughter]

[laughter] 41.

41. What will get you kicked off the

What will get you kicked off the Minecraft server?

Minecraft server? Get you kicked off, fellas. Rip Pernell.

Get you kicked off, fellas. Rip Pernell. Bad army. [laughter]

Bad army. [laughter] What? What does that mean?

What? What does that mean? Bad arm is dead.

Bad arm is dead. Everyone [laughter] pay your respects in

Everyone [laughter] pay your respects in the comments section. Inhale.

the comments section. Inhale. Bad arm and eulogies. [laughter]

Bad arm and eulogies. [laughter] Golden.

What is this? What is What does it mean? [laughter]

[laughter] I'm titling my video stupid

[laughter] dogs. What does he mean? # STUDENT [laughter]

What does he mean? # STUDENT [laughter] #IS

I'm going to kill myself. WHAT DOES IT MEAN? What does it mean?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN? What does it mean? It's some niche [ __ ] Native American

It's some niche [ __ ] Native American [laughter]

[laughter] saying and we're laughing at it. Does it

saying and we're laughing at it. Does it make any sense?

make any sense? Oh my god. Jesus [laughter]

Oh my god. Jesus [laughter] Christ. Going to GO ON FOREVER.

Christ. Going to GO ON FOREVER. I'M GOING TO COMMIT STOOD. [laughter]

I'm going to throw up. I'm going to throw up. [laughter]

Oh my god. Nasty. Break the car.

Nasty. Break the car. Captain Nick has a real problem with SC.

Captain Nick has a real problem with SC. [laughter]

[laughter] OH MY GOD. WHAT THE [ __ ] WHAT

OH MY GOD. WHAT THE [ __ ] WHAT [laughter] THE [ __ ] WHAT IS THIS DEEP

[laughter] THE [ __ ] WHAT IS THIS DEEP WEB [ __ ] I'M LOOKING AT? [laughter]

That's three. That's three. WHAT DOES PARK'S CARD MEAN? HOW DID I

WHAT DOES PARK'S CARD MEAN? HOW DID I WIN? HOW DID I WIN? [laughter]

WIN? HOW DID I WIN? [laughter] WHY AM I THE WINNER?

WHY AM I THE WINNER? I CAN'T FEEL MY HANDS. I'm going to

I CAN'T FEEL MY HANDS. I'm going to throw. I'm actually going to THROW ON

throw. I'm actually going to THROW ON [laughter] MY HANDS. HOLY [ __ ]

[laughter] MY HANDS. HOLY [ __ ] WHAT DID BLUR'S card even say?

WHAT DID BLUR'S card even say? Steaming. [laughter]

Steaming. [laughter] Steaming. I don't know.

Steaming. I don't know. Leave a comment. Coden [laughter]

Leave a comment. Coden [laughter] Stewis, I guess.

Stewis, I guess. Conen,

Conen, please.

please. What the [ __ ] [laughter]

What the [ __ ] [laughter] bro?

bro? Home deadly. Home deadly scoden studus.

Home deadly. Home deadly scoden studus. I am buying some Scoden and Studus merch

I am buying some Scoden and Studus merch today for sure.

today for sure. So [ __ ] [laughter] discovered that.

So [ __ ] [laughter] discovered that. There's so many student names.

There's so many student names. I'm done.

I'm done. I'm not even [laughter] recording now.

I'm not even [laughter] recording now. [ __ ] Don't worry about it.

[ __ ] Don't worry about it. [laughter]

[laughter] I'm driving this thing.

I'm driving this thing. I thought it'd be way less FD.

I thought it'd be way less FD. That's not going to go well. A

That's not going to go well. A [laughter] bumper.

[laughter] bumper. All right, no more [ __ ] around.

Stuck in time. We have a star. We have a star.

We have a star. We have a star. WE FAILED. NICE. GOOD JOB.

WE FAILED. NICE. GOOD JOB. That took less than 3 minutes to fail.

That took less than 3 minutes to fail. [laughter]

[laughter] SHUT UP. WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

SHUT UP. WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. WHAT the hell you doing, Canadian?

WHAT the hell you doing, Canadian? I wanted to be able to shoot.

I wanted to be able to shoot. My armpit smells like onion.

My armpit smells like onion. Oh,

Oh, stop smelling it.

stop smelling it. Stop talking about onions. Top 10 onions

Stop talking about onions. Top 10 onions that have used Door Dash. [laughter]

Something tells me I'm Is this

Is this roll?

roll? This is not realistic whatsoever.

This is not realistic whatsoever. [laughter]

[laughter] This is how they did it back in N.

This is how they did it back in N. I wouldn't go up there. Yummy. You're

I wouldn't go up there. Yummy. You're definitely going to fall [laughter] off.

definitely going to fall [laughter] off. I got big balls.

I got big balls. Yeah, I just see you slowly clipping

Yeah, I just see you slowly clipping into the ceiling.

[laughter] This [ __ ] [clears throat]

This [ __ ] [clears throat] resilient.

resilient. My quads are made of steel, baby.

My quads are made of steel, baby. What the [ __ ] [laughter] just happened?

What the [ __ ] [laughter] just happened? You're slipping up an

[laughter] How of all times did you fall off them?

How of all times did you fall off them? We're going to be uh cutting it close

We're going to be uh cutting it close here, gentlemen.

here, gentlemen. We got to get this guy in a vehicle

We got to get this guy in a vehicle immediately. I don't know who the [ __ ]

immediately. I don't know who the [ __ ] is going to drive him, but you better

is going to drive him, but you better Dale Earnhard that [ __ ] Or don't Dale

Dale Earnhard that [ __ ] Or don't Dale Earnhard that [ __ ]

Earnhard that [ __ ] GET THE [ __ ] OUT.

HOLY [ __ ] [laughter] QUICKLY GET a four-seater.

QUICKLY GET a four-seater. Wait, how's he going to get in? Get him

Wait, how's he going to get in? Get him in the car. JUST LET HIM.

in the car. JUST LET HIM. HE GOT HIT BY A [screaming] [ __ ] CAR,

HE GOT HIT BY A [screaming] [ __ ] CAR, BRO. HE GOT HIT BY A [ __ ] CAR. GET

BRO. HE GOT HIT BY A [ __ ] CAR. GET IN.

IN. GET IN. GET HIM IN. GET HIM IN. THIS

GET IN. GET HIM IN. GET HIM IN. THIS WAY. THIS WAY, [ __ ]

WAY. THIS WAY, [ __ ] [ __ ] [laughter] He got hit by a goddamn

Holy [ __ ] [laughter] Imagine the ice is just over because of that.

just over because of that. Oh my god. Oh, holy [ __ ]

Oh my god. Oh, holy [ __ ] Oh man. [laughter]

Please don't. What the [ __ ] are you doing? Quit.

doing? Quit. [laughter]

[laughter] Oh, we did it.

Oh, we did it. Success.

Success. That is so scuffed. [laughter]

That is so scuffed. [laughter] He looks pretty good for somebody who's

He looks pretty good for somebody who's just got smoked by a [laughter] pick on

just got smoked by a [laughter] pick on him.

him. Oh my god. I'm [ __ ] crying, dude.

Oh my god. I'm [ __ ] crying, dude. [laughter]

Oh [ __ ] Is this who I think it is? That driver.

Is this who I think it is? That driver. Yeah.

Yeah. Best driver in Los Santos, baby.

Best driver in Los Santos, baby. Oh my god.

Oh my god. Watch this.

Watch this. Oh my god.

Oh my god. Everything is calculated. He knows

Everything is calculated. He knows exactly what he's doing.

exactly what he's doing. You're doing a hell of a lot better than

You're doing a hell of a lot better than Joe Biden would do [laughter]

Joe Biden would do [laughter] and these liberals.

Hell yeah. You folks are some fine Americans. Look

You folks are some fine Americans. Look at that. [laughter]

at that. [laughter] Man, there's some good [ __ ] President,

Man, there's some good [ __ ] President, you should have some.

you should have some. Let me hit that. [laughter]

Let me hit that. [laughter] Let me hit that.

Let me hit that. What do we got here?

What do we got here? Wait, hold on. [laughter]

Oh my [ __ ] god. It's not as good, but it's good.

It's not as good, but it's good. Mr. President, do the honors. Just

Mr. President, do the honors. Just [ __ ] take my life.

[ __ ] take my life. You sure?

You sure? Absolutely.

Absolutely. Before the cholesterol gets to you?

Before the cholesterol gets to you? Yeah. Before the heart disease takes me.

Yeah. Before the heart disease takes me. Go ahead. Take me out. Take me out.

Go ahead. Take me out. Take me out. OH, [screaming]

OH, [screaming] LIBERAL [ __ ]

LIBERAL [ __ ] YOU LIKE THAT? You like that? You like

YOU LIKE THAT? You like that? You like that?

that? The sweet release of death.

The sweet release of death. [laughter] It has been good. It has been

[laughter] It has been good. It has been fun. Like the video if you enjoyed that.

fun. Like the video if you enjoyed that. That was

That was what the

what the That was a great time. [laughter]

That was a great time. [laughter] All right. Peace.

All right. Peace. I'm going to give you a weapon. And you

I'm going to give you a weapon. And you just can't government.

just can't government. Okay. What What does it do? I've never

Okay. What What does it do? I've never even seen this before.

even seen this before. This is a one-shot weapon.

This is a one-shot weapon. Oh [ __ ] It's a one shot, one kill.

Oh [ __ ] It's a one shot, one kill. Yeah. So, don't shoot other government

Yeah. So, don't shoot other government people. Criminals.

people. Criminals. Okay, let me find a criminal. Oh,

Okay, let me find a criminal. Oh, there's a little anime criminal right

there's a little anime criminal right here. Is this little anime criminal

here. Is this little anime criminal causing problems?

causing problems? Oh, I'm so scary.

Oh, I'm so scary. [snorts]

[snorts] Oh my god. [laughter]

Oh my god. [laughter] Damn.

What's going on, anime [ __ ] What? I'm trying to figure out who you

What? I'm trying to figure out who you are. Do it again.

are. Do it again. [laughter]

What the hell? Why am I being restrained? WHAT THE HELL?

restrained? WHAT THE HELL? OH, what the [ __ ] I'VE BEEN RESTRAINED.

OH, what the [ __ ] I'VE BEEN RESTRAINED. BETTY CROCKER'S PENIS.

[laughter] Holy [ __ ] Oh, I lost my one shotgun.

Holy [ __ ] Oh, I lost my one shotgun. God damn it.

God damn it. That cop can't park there, can he?

That cop can't park there, can he? No. Parked illegally. You're parked

No. Parked illegally. You're parked illegally. Oh, it's that same cop. It's

illegally. Oh, it's that same cop. It's the same cop. Yeah, you're parked

the same cop. Yeah, you're parked illegally, buddy.

illegally, buddy. No, I'm not. I'm a PD. You're about to

No, I'm not. I'm a PD. You're about to get you get cops.

get you get cops. You're parked illegally.

You're parked illegally. You

officer, step out. Step out of the cop car. Step out of the cop car right now.

car. Step out of the cop car right now. Step out for me. Go ahead and step out

Step out for me. Go ahead and step out of the cop car. Hey. Hey. Step out of

of the cop car. Hey. Hey. Step out of the cop car right now. Final warning.

the cop car right now. Final warning. Five. Four. Three. Two. Step out, sir.

Five. Four. Three. Two. Step out, sir. Step out.

Step out. Step out, sir. Step out right now, sir.

Step out, sir. Step out right now, sir. You leave the officer alone. Step out,

You leave the officer alone. Step out, sir.

sir. All right. I warned you.

All right. I warned you. Oh my god.

Oh my god. You are getting [ __ ] banned. I'm

You are getting [ __ ] banned. I'm leaving. I'm leaving. I'm [laughter] out

leaving. I'm leaving. I'm [laughter] out of here. No more play time for you on

of here. No more play time for you on this server. I've been a bad boy today.

this server. I've been a bad boy today. I've been a real bad boy.

I've been a real bad boy. Oh, I kind of feel bad for that guy.

Oh, I kind of feel bad for that guy. I do a little bit, too. Honestly, we've

I do a little bit, too. Honestly, we've been [ __ ] with him pretty hard.

been [ __ ] with him pretty hard. Honestly, dude, we've we've [ __ ] with

Honestly, dude, we've we've [ __ ] with people more today than we have like the

people more today than we have like the whole time.

whole time. Yeah, that's true. That's true.

Yeah, that's true. That's true. I I really do kind [laughter] of feel

I I really do kind [laughter] of feel bad. So, hey, listen, buddy. I'm sorry.

bad. So, hey, listen, buddy. I'm sorry. How about I give you like $50 million in

How about I give you like $50 million in game? That's

game? That's I can't accept that.

I can't accept that. All right, just give it to him.

All right, just give it to him. Hey, I'm going to give it to you anyway.

Hey, I'm going to give it to you anyway. How do I give money to him?

How do I give money to him? I'm pretty sure you have too.

I'm pretty sure you have too. All right, I got you, Sosa.

All right, I got you, Sosa. Drag your money.

Drag your money. But I mean, like, drag it to his ID.

But I mean, like, drag it to his ID. This just been happening, bro. All

This just been happening, bro. All right, there's your hush money.

right, there's your hush money. Yo. All right, listen, bro. It all

Yo. All right, listen, bro. It all started off number two. I gave you $50

started off number two. I gave you $50 million.

million. 44 pulled up in a tow truck trying to

44 pulled up in a tow truck trying to control a car. It was the [ __ ]

control a car. It was the [ __ ] towater thing. He was trolling hell.

towater thing. He was trolling hell. Yeah. To waffles. Yeah.

Yeah. To waffles. Yeah. No, that's our car actually. He owns

No, that's our car actually. He owns We bought it. We bought it.

We bought it. We bought it. And I was sitting there and they were

And I was sitting there and they were like, "Bro, this man's trolling." And

like, "Bro, this man's trolling." And then he [ __ ] boosted off and drove

then he [ __ ] boosted off and drove off. Whatever the [ __ ] did.

off. Whatever the [ __ ] did. Hey, ID number two, hey, if you keep

Hey, ID number two, hey, if you keep talking, I'll give that $50 million back

talking, I'll give that $50 million back to ID number two. I GAVE YOU $50

to ID number two. I GAVE YOU $50 MILLION. HEY, SH. THAT'S ENOUGH out of

MILLION. HEY, SH. THAT'S ENOUGH out of you, buddy.

you, buddy. Did they pay you or something? Are you

Did they pay you or something? Are you Do you still want to do

Do you still want to do They just They just [ __ ] sent me 50

They just They just [ __ ] sent me 50 mil and then 30 mil of one of them.

mil and then 30 mil of one of them. 80 mil.

80 mil. Yeah, they're [ __ ] sending me hush

Yeah, they're [ __ ] sending me hush money, even though I'm not allowed to

money, even though I'm not allowed to accept that. You do a bribe. Call it

accept that. You do a bribe. Call it what you want to. It's a bribe. Keep

what you want to. It's a bribe. Keep your mouth shut.

your mouth shut. Sure. You accept it.

Sure. You accept it. You both do realize I'm staff. And in

You both do realize I'm staff. And in staff announcements, I'm pretty sure it

staff announcements, I'm pretty sure it was Bruce who said we're not allowed to

was Bruce who said we're not allowed to accept that, right?

accept that, right? Okay. Well, Bruce ain't going to know

Okay. Well, Bruce ain't going to know [ __ ] Bruce Wayne is a [ __ ] Bruce

[ __ ] Bruce Wayne is a [ __ ] Bruce Wayne is a [ __ ] I stole this

Wayne is a [ __ ] I stole this Batmobile.

Batmobile. No, all we're doing is trying to help

No, all we're doing is trying to help the PD get some more budget cuz we know

the PD get some more budget cuz we know they've been lacking, you know.

they've been lacking, you know. Exactly.

Exactly. Get somerilla. Get some Skrilla on you,

Get somerilla. Get some Skrilla on you, baby.

baby. Hey, if you keep [ __ ] talking, buddy,

Hey, if you keep [ __ ] talking, buddy, I won't stop killing you for the rest of

I won't stop killing you for the rest of the goddamn day. You hear [laughter] me?

the goddamn day. You hear [laughter] me? If I can get a higher up down here, you

If I can get a higher up down here, you both are probably going to BE GONE

both are probably going to BE GONE FOREVER.

FOREVER. WHAT?

WHAT? I GOT I GOT EPSTEIN MONEY, BUDDY. You

I GOT I GOT EPSTEIN MONEY, BUDDY. You keep talking, I'm going [laughter] to

keep talking, I'm going [laughter] to give you I'm going to keep giving you

give you I'm going to keep giving you money until you shut the [ __ ] up.

money until you shut the [ __ ] up. ID number two, give me the 50 million

ID number two, give me the 50 million back or die right now. 50 million right

back or die right now. 50 million right now. Give it back. Give it back right

now. Give it back. Give it back right now. Give it back right now or die. Give

now. Give it back right now or die. Give it back right now.

it back right now. You can't accept it, SO YOU MIGHT AS

You can't accept it, SO YOU MIGHT AS WELL GIVE IT BACK.

WELL GIVE IT BACK. YEAH, you might as well give it back

YEAH, you might as well give it back right now. Drop 50 mil or die. Drop 50

right now. Drop 50 mil or die. Drop 50 mil or die. Hey, ID number 40. I didn't

mil or die. Hey, ID number 40. I didn't want to have to call you over here, but

want to have to call you over here, but this cop made me bribe him. He He said I

this cop made me bribe him. He He said I wouldn't get Yeah, he's corrupted.

wouldn't get Yeah, he's corrupted. He's also He's in a gang, too.

He's also He's in a gang, too. Used to be the issue.

Used to be the issue. ID number two, he took bribe money from

ID number two, he took bribe money from me. He said if I don't give him bribe

me. He said if I don't give him bribe money, he's going to get me banned.

money, he's going to get me banned. You gave it to

You gave it to He made us give it to him.

He made us give it to him. Yeah. Yeah. ID20 can he can vouch for

Yeah. Yeah. ID20 can he can vouch for me.

me. Okay, Bruce, we have some really like

Okay, Bruce, we have some really like corrupt [ __ ] going on here. First of

corrupt [ __ ] going on here. First of all, we have a gang member who's a cop.

all, we have a gang member who's a cop. And second of all, he made us give him

And second of all, he made us give him $80 million.

$80 million. You You literally gave I have the

You You literally gave I have the screenshots.

screenshots. I told I have a clip.

I told I have a clip. He took money. He took money from us and

He took money. He took money from us and said if if he gives us 80 million that

said if if he gives us 80 million that we won't get banned. He took our money.

we won't get banned. He took our money. They were telling people deserve it.

They were telling people deserve it. They're [ __ ] like hell.

They're [ __ ] like hell. They were towing people in 101's and

They were towing people in 101's and hitting [laughter] people.

hitting [laughter] people. Not true. No. No, we didn't. We bought

Not true. No. No, we didn't. We bought the car. I have the little whole thing

the car. I have the little whole thing on clip.

on clip. Little whole thing.

Little whole thing. The past hour I have on clip.

The past hour I have on clip. I don't like you being down there and

I don't like you being down there and saying little whole thing. Don't look at

saying little whole thing. Don't look at me like that.

me like that. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. He's being corrupt.

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. He's being corrupt. He's being corrupt again.

He's being corrupt again. Can I tell my higher up what the [ __ ]

Can I tell my higher up what the [ __ ] going on? Are you guys going to keep

going on? Are you guys going to keep I think we told him everything he needs

I think we told him everything he needs to know.

to know. They're [ __ ] trolling like hell.

They're [ __ ] trolling like hell. They're driving personals, [ __ ]

They're driving personals, [ __ ] hitting people's cars, [ __ ] telling

hitting people's cars, [ __ ] telling PD they're illegally parked. It's the

PD they're illegally parked. It's the funniest thing ever. [laughter]

funniest thing ever. [laughter] So you admit you laugh. You admit you

So you admit you laugh. You admit you laugh.

laugh. He was double parked like an [ __ ]

He was double parked like an [ __ ] I wasn't double parked.

I wasn't double parked. He was double parked.

He was double parked. He was He was Let me Let me tell you

He was He was Let me Let me tell you what happened. He was double parked. He

what happened. He was double parked. He said, "I'm a cop. I can do whatever I

said, "I'm a cop. I can do whatever I want now. Give [laughter] me $80

want now. Give [laughter] me $80 million."

million." That what? One gave me 50 mil card hush

That what? One gave me 50 mil card hush money and the other gave me 30 mil card

money and the other gave me 30 mil card [laughter]

[laughter] money. Even though I said I couldn't

money. Even though I said I couldn't accept it.

accept it. No, I don't.

No, I don't. You give it back.

You give it back. Yeah. He said he won't give it back.

Yeah. He said he won't give it back. He's going to take it as a prize.

He's going to take it as a prize. I don't know which one of you gave me

I don't know which one of you gave me 30. Which one of you gave me?

30. Which one of you gave me? Soup gave you 30. Where the [ __ ] is

Soup gave you 30. Where the [ __ ] is soup? [laughter]

soup? [laughter] No, let me give you something.

No, let me give you something. We're helping the staff members out

We're helping the staff members out because I know it's annoying when people

because I know it's annoying when people have to do car wipes every 10 minutes.

have to do car wipes every 10 minutes. So, we're we're wiping the cars off the

So, we're we're wiping the cars off the map entirely. We'll tow them away when

map entirely. We'll tow them away when they're double parked or parked in the

they're double parked or parked in the road. Only illegally parked ones.

road. Only illegally parked ones. You want me to help you out even better?

You want me to help you out even better? Yeah. What are you going to do for me?

Yeah. What are you going to do for me? I can give you an actual mechanic roll

I can give you an actual mechanic roll and you know a mechanic job and you can

and you know a mechanic job and you can use a flatbed.

use a flatbed. Yeah, that sounds good. I just want to

Yeah, that sounds good. I just want to say real quick that uh number two Sosa,

say real quick that uh number two Sosa, he gave me the 80 million back and then

he gave me the 80 million back and then he sent me a message. He said, "Here's

he sent me a message. He said, "Here's your money back. Keep your [ __ ] mouth

your money back. Keep your [ __ ] mouth shut."

shut." That [laughter] is in fact crazy.

That [laughter] is in fact crazy. Sound corrupt.

Sound corrupt. I did not do Oh my [ __ ] god.

I did not do Oh my [ __ ] god. [laughter]

[laughter] I'll clip it.

I'll clip it. Is this real?

Is this real? Me. I'm clipping it.

Me. I'm clipping it.

[laughter] I love that we went from like everyone

I love that we went from like everyone was angry at us to like, "Oh, we can we

was angry at us to like, "Oh, we can we can upgrade you guys and give you better

can upgrade you guys and give you better rolls. Here's your $80 million back.

rolls. Here's your $80 million back. [laughter] The guy who we were trolling

[laughter] The guy who we were trolling for an hour was clapping for us whenever

for an hour was clapping for us whenever we [ __ ]

we [ __ ] I have had it with blank on this

I have had it with blank on this [ __ ] plane.

[ __ ] plane. [laughter]

[laughter] No.

Is this you? Yummy. I'm thear [laughter]

I'm thear [laughter] knows how this game works.

knows how this game works. What the bomb sees? [laughter]

This is a crazy flight, bro. This across the aisle.

This is what happens when you fly Spirit Airlines.

Airlines. Oh my god. [laughter] OKAY.

Look who he's yelling. Oh [laughter] my god.

god. Spirit Airlines.

Spirit Airlines. This is horrible. This is really bad.

This is horrible. This is really bad. Why is he Why is he yelling at the image

Why is he Why is he yelling at the image to [laughter] the left, bro?

to [laughter] the left, bro? He's yelling at the

He's yelling at the Oh my god. This is not good,

Oh my god. This is not good, bro.

bro. I hate that they came up in that order.

I hate that they came up in that order. [laughter] That's so bad.

[laughter] That's so bad. SO BAD.

Oh my god. We couldn't even [ __ ] script this,

We couldn't even [ __ ] script this, dude. [laughter]

dude. [laughter] So bad.

So bad. Please let this next one

Please let this next one [laughter]

[laughter] It's WHAT HE'S LOOKING AT. IT'S WHAT

It's WHAT HE'S LOOKING AT. IT'S WHAT NO'S LOOKING AT IN THE PLANE.

I'm going to freak out. Be like Peter Griffin or something

Be like Peter Griffin or something [laughter] stupid.

[laughter] stupid. THAT'S THE PILOT. WE'RE GOING DOWN.

THAT'S THE PILOT. WE'RE GOING DOWN. EVERYBODY.

EVERYBODY. YO. SOUP. SOUP. SOUP. SOUP. SOUP. SOUP.

YO. SOUP. SOUP. SOUP. SOUP. SOUP. SOUP. If I suck your dick, will you give me 1

If I suck your dick, will you give me 1 million? Please. If you give me 1

million? Please. If you give me 1 million, I'll give you head.

million, I'll give you head. [laughter]

[laughter] Yes.

Yes. Why are you being a [ __ ] for, bro?

Why are you being a [ __ ] for, bro? Like, I know you poor little [ __ ]

Like, I know you poor little [ __ ] He's a troll streamer. He doesn't give a

He's a troll streamer. He doesn't give a [ __ ] about you or you. Just have some

[ __ ] about you or you. Just have some fun, bro. Oh, you can lick my dick. You

fun, bro. Oh, you can lick my dick. You can lick my dick. You [laughter] can

can lick my dick. You [laughter] can lick my dick. I know you've got

lick my dick. I know you've got manggina. You [ __ ] ho. You got no

manggina. You [ __ ] ho. You got no friends.

friends. Don't understand. Please forgive

Don't understand. Please forgive [laughter] them. Forgive us soup for I

[laughter] them. Forgive us soup for I have sinned. Forgive us soup for I have

have sinned. Forgive us soup for I have sinned.

sinned. [laughter]

[laughter] Forgive us soup for we have sinned.

Forgive us soup for we have sinned. These guys are [ __ ] [ __ ] bro.

These guys are [ __ ] [ __ ] bro. [laughter]

[laughter] Don't [ __ ] move.

Don't [ __ ] move. I've been watching this guy for [ __ ]

I've been watching this guy for [ __ ] years.

years. But this guy can lick my dick. He can

But this guy can lick my dick. He can actually lick my dick. I I'm going to

actually lick my dick. I I'm going to who pissed in your cornflakes tea and

who pissed in your cornflakes tea and crump is eating little [ __ ]

crump is eating little [ __ ] You're going to be in jail for 2 hours.

You're going to be in jail for 2 hours. You're going to be jail for two hours.

You're going to be jail for two hours. Nice. Nice.

Nice. Nice. Yeah. I'll I'll message the admin and

Yeah. I'll I'll message the admin and say, "Let me out." And he will.

say, "Let me out." And he will. Yeah. Yeah. Let Let you out. Yeah. Let

Yeah. Yeah. Let Let you out. Yeah. Let you out just cuz you got a manina. You

you out just cuz you got a manina. You little [ __ ] [ __ ] You literally got

little [ __ ] [ __ ] You literally got vagina.

vagina. I got the biggest [ __ ] in the world.

I got the biggest [ __ ] in the world. You sound jealous.

You sound jealous. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fanny, look at

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fanny, look at this [ __ ] Fanny, look at this [ __ ]

this [ __ ] Fanny, look at this [ __ ] F. He's some streamer. Y thinking he's

F. He's some streamer. Y thinking he's some bad man, bro. Lick my dick. [ __ ]

some bad man, bro. Lick my dick. [ __ ] off. Can you not see guns at your head,

off. Can you not see guns at your head, [laughter]

[laughter] [ __ ] I'm going to take my bass boat

[ __ ] I'm going to take my bass boat across. You pull no [ __ ] You pull no

across. You pull no [ __ ] You pull no [ __ ] bro. You pull no [ __ ]

[ __ ] bro. You pull no [ __ ] You're a [ __ ] orphan, bro. You pull

You're a [ __ ] orphan, bro. You pull no [ __ ] You're an orphan. Do you not

no [ __ ] You're an orphan. Do you not understand that, bro?

understand that, bro? I'm going to pull your daddy out of my

I'm going to pull your daddy out of my bed and [ __ ] him.

bed and [ __ ] him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Pull my

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Pull my daddy out of your bed, bro. Shut the

daddy out of your bed, bro. Shut the [ __ ] up, bro.

[ __ ] up, bro. If I drop you a million dollars, will

If I drop you a million dollars, will you go to the dentist?

you go to the dentist? You're actually [ __ ] hilarious. Like,

You're actually [ __ ] hilarious. Like, you're actually hilarious, bro. F. I

you're actually hilarious, bro. F. I think you're being quite biased here,

think you're being quite biased here, bro. Cuz if that's a normal player, he'd

bro. Cuz if that's a normal player, he'd be in jail right now, bro. Just because

be in jail right now, bro. Just because it's streamer. Yeah. You're going to

it's streamer. Yeah. You're going to start like licking his dick, bro. Like,

start like licking his dick, bro. Like, I know he's got he's got he's got a

I know he's got he's got he's got a vagina, bro.

vagina, bro. Listen. Okay, [laughter]

Listen. Okay, [laughter] what he could do for this server is

what he could do for this server is amazing. And I'm not talking about RP

amazing. And I'm not talking about RP and [ __ ] Like for real,

and [ __ ] Like for real, bro. Listen, listen, listen. If it's

bro. Listen, listen, listen. If it's promoting the RP and [ __ ] yeah, like

promoting the RP and [ __ ] yeah, like it's calm, bro. Why the [ __ ] he out here

it's calm, bro. Why the [ __ ] he out here trolling? He is a master at his work.

trolling? He is a master at his work. Master what, bro? Licking my dick. He's

Master what, bro? Licking my dick. He's a [ __ ] stripper, bro. [laughter]

a [ __ ] stripper, bro. [laughter] Smoking smoking.

Smoking smoking. Like, bro, I'm I'm making a [ __ ]

Like, bro, I'm I'm making a [ __ ] admin complaint at this point.

admin complaint at this point. [laughter]

[laughter] What the [ __ ]

What the [ __ ] You're making America loserish.

You're making America loserish. You're a [ __ ] ass [ __ ] You're a [ __ ]

You're a [ __ ] ass [ __ ] You're a [ __ ] ass [ __ ] You're a [ __ ] ass [ __ ]

ass [ __ ] You're a [ __ ] ass [ __ ] You're all dead on the floor.

You're all dead on the floor. He's so mad. [laughter]

[laughter] Dude, this guy was losing his [ __ ] He

Dude, this guy was losing his [ __ ] He was so angry. I got in prison. No,

was so angry. I got in prison. No, you're in prison.

you're in prison. I'm dead again.

I'm dead again. 30 [ __ ] minutes. [laughter]

30 [ __ ] minutes. [laughter] [ __ ] sweet revenge, dude. I'm in

[ __ ] sweet revenge, dude. I'm in prison as well. I'm in prison for 30

prison as well. I'm in prison for 30 minutes. Oh, that was [ __ ] perfect.

minutes. Oh, that was [ __ ] perfect. What a perfect ending. Like the video.

What a perfect ending. Like the video. Check out Grand RP.

Check out Grand RP. These little nuts. All right, see y'all.

These little nuts. All right, see y'all. We're being invaded by Donald Trump.

We're being invaded by Donald Trump. Let's go. [laughter]

Let's go. [laughter] We're being invaded by Donald Trump.

We're being invaded by Donald Trump. Guarantee you he's using shields. $5

Guarantee you he's using shields. $5 says he's using shields.

says he's using shields. He's a wonderful invader. [laughter]

He's a wonderful invader. [laughter] Best invader of all time. When I played

Best invader of all time. When I played Elden Ring,

Elden Ring, nothing better.

nothing better. There was nobody better than me at Elden

There was nobody better than me at Elden Ring. I was Elden Lord day one only when

Ring. I was Elden Lord day one only when I tried.

I tried. Oh, he's right there.

Oh, he's right there. He's over this way.

He's over this way. Ow. [ __ ] this. He's behind Mr. Poison.

Ow. [ __ ] this. He's behind Mr. Poison. He's trying to lead you into more

He's trying to lead you into more poison. Boys, don't bait.

poison. Boys, don't bait. Dude, Donald Trump looks scary. He's got

Dude, Donald Trump looks scary. He's got the same haircut.

Yeah. See you later. If we get one hit on someone, it is

If we get one hit on someone, it is over.

over. See you later, buddy. I didn't do

See you later, buddy. I didn't do [ __ ] [ __ ] Oh, I forgot the cannon. I

[ __ ] [ __ ] Oh, I forgot the cannon. I forgot the cannon. God damn it. We

forgot the cannon. God damn it. We killed [laughter]

killed [laughter] that on the news. Breaking news.

that on the news. Breaking news. CNN ain't going to report on that one.

CNN ain't going to report on that one. CNN's going to put the stream up

CNN's going to put the stream up tonight.

tonight. Make Volcano Manor great again.

Make Volcano Manor great again. [laughter]

A small donation of a million runes. [laughter]

That's a funny one. What's up, gentlemen?

What's up, gentlemen? So, what do you guys say? Do we ban him?

So, what do you guys say? Do we ban him? N you can't ban me, bro.

N you can't ban me, bro. All right, let me tell you.

All right, let me tell you. Listen, he has he has content creator

Listen, he has he has content creator role in here. We can't ban him, right? I

role in here. We can't ban him, right? I mean, he's just going to ask

mean, he's just going to ask Listen, if you get banned, this is going

Listen, if you get banned, this is going to happen.

to happen. Wait, no, no, no, NO. [laughter]

That's my getaway. Oh [ __ ] Hey, sorry about that. That was a misclick. I'm

about that. That was a misclick. I'm just frozen here, man. You got to

just frozen here, man. You got to unfreeze me. I'm being held against my

unfreeze me. I'm being held against my will.

will. If you just if you just do/ easy admin,

If you just if you just do/ easy admin, you know, you could do that yourself.

you know, you could do that yourself. Oh [ __ ] I didn't even know I could do

Oh [ __ ] I didn't even know I could do that.

that. You literally have troll perms on here,

You literally have troll perms on here, bro. Okay, so you go to your easy admin,

bro. Okay, so you go to your easy admin, right? And you look for a player. Type

right? And you look for a player. Type search for user. You put 2267, right?

search for user. You put 2267, right? Going to be me. Please don't ban me for

Going to be me. Please don't ban me for the love of

the love of 2267.

2267. And then you're going to have like a

And then you're going to have like a grief menu or something. I know you have

grief menu or something. I know you have it.

it. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And then you click that and then

Yeah. And then you click that and then you can grief players with it.

you can grief players with it. Oh, [ __ ] you. What is What does that do?

Oh, [ __ ] you. What is What does that do? [laughter]

[laughter] It's like [cough]

clown gang attack. What the [ __ ] does that do? Don't do that. Don't do that.

that do? Don't do that. Don't do that. Oh, is that the clown car coming for

Oh, is that the clown car coming for you?

you? Yes.

Yes. What the [ __ ]

What the [ __ ] Here, I'm killing, bro.

Here, I'm killing, bro. Bro, what the [ __ ]

Bro, what the [ __ ] You piss

You piss killing me.

killing me. Now I'm frozen. Great.

Now I'm frozen. Great. Nice. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. Now you stay

Nice. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. Now you stay froz Oh [ __ ] He's about to shoot.

froz Oh [ __ ] He's about to shoot. You're not going to freeze myself,

You're not going to freeze myself, RIGHT?

RIGHT? [laughter]

I just froze him and [ __ ] killed [laughter] him.

Oh my god. Ran the [ __ ] over by a cloud car. Bro,

Ran the [ __ ] over by a cloud car. Bro, that is [ __ ] amazing. Tell that guy I

that is [ __ ] amazing. Tell that guy I said thank you.

said thank you. And it's going to be show like short

And it's going to be show like short play.

play. What the [ __ ] Why was I pulled here?

What the [ __ ] Why was I pulled here? You pulled here due to report on you.

You pulled here due to report on you. Yeah, I was just with some mods. They

Yeah, I was just with some mods. They were teaching me how to do some fun

were teaching me how to do some fun [ __ ]

[ __ ] What? Flashbanging people.

What? Flashbanging people. What? Like this?

What? Like this? You do it, mate. Watch.

You lucky [laughter] just snow clip away. I don't even know

just snow clip away. I don't even know how to [ __ ] use this [ __ ] Just

how to [ __ ] use this [ __ ] Just [laughter]

Oh my god. I think they keep trying to pull me and I'm just [ __ ] no

pull me and I'm just [ __ ] no clipping. If he says some [ __ ] to me,

clipping. If he says some [ __ ] to me, I'm just going to [ __ ] kick him from

I'm just going to [ __ ] kick him from the server. [laughter]

the server. [laughter] Yummy. I have went beast mode.

Yummy. I have went beast mode. What happened, dude? I have so I have

What happened, dude? I have so I have [ __ ] like some kind of grief menu. I

[ __ ] like some kind of grief menu. I have no clip. I have like these admin

have no clip. I have like these admin perms. I can kick people. I can I think

perms. I can kick people. I can I think I can ban people. I have like some kind

I can ban people. I have like some kind of some kind of grief admin menu. I can

of some kind of grief admin menu. I can no clip and do all this [ __ ] I don't

no clip and do all this [ __ ] I don't even have to throw a flashbang. I can

even have to throw a flashbang. I can just go to the admin menu and just click

just go to the admin menu and just click flashbang. It's [ __ ] Where where are

flashbang. It's [ __ ] Where where are you at? I can just noclipip to you or or

you at? I can just noclipip to you or or teleport you or

teleport you or I'm getting flashbanged now. I'm getting

I'm getting flashbanged now. I'm getting flashbanged.

flashbanged. That's [ __ ] insane. Yes. They're just

That's [ __ ] insane. Yes. They're just flashbanging me now. They're like some

flashbanging me now. They're like some British admin was like, "You do it, bro.

British admin was like, "You do it, bro. See what happens." And I just [ __ ]

See what happens." And I just [ __ ] [laughter]

Did I get kicked? What the [ __ ] I think I got kicked. I think one of them kicked

I got kicked. I think one of them kicked me. Dude, this is [ __ ]

me. Dude, this is [ __ ] Oh my god.

Oh my god. What was that? [ __ ] Are you good?

What was that? [ __ ] Are you good? I got caught on fire. What am I

I got caught on fire. What am I breathing? Like ass fumes. What's wrong

breathing? Like ass fumes. What's wrong with my character? It's like I [ __ ] my

with my character? It's like I [ __ ] my pants and couldn't fight. [laughter]

pants and couldn't fight. [laughter] Daycare calms.

Don't shut that door again. [laughter] I shut it. I shut it. Block the grenade.

shut it. I shut it. Block the grenade. Try to shut your door when you have your

Try to shut your door when you have your girlfriend open, but your mom's an air.

girlfriend open, but your mom's an air. [laughter]

[laughter] What? You're [ __ ] eating your rib

What? You're [ __ ] eating your rib cage be open.

cage be open. No way. [laughter] I said open. When

No way. [laughter] I said open. When your girlfriend's open.

your girlfriend's open. Open.

Open. You did. [laughter]

You did. [laughter] Opening a rib cage. And your mom walks

Opening a rib cage. And your mom walks in. When you a cannibal, but your mom

in. When you a cannibal, but your mom don't know. Helicopter. Helicopter.

don't know. Helicopter. Helicopter. You guys can afford to buy me back.

You guys can afford to buy me back. I'm I'm mounting out of the one frame

I'm I'm mounting out of the one frame helicopter right now.

helicopter right now. Perfect.

Perfect. Oh [ __ ]

Oh [ __ ] I just watched you fall out.

I just watched you fall out. Mounted out. Okay. Uh, hold on. How do I

Mounted out. Okay. Uh, hold on. How do I turn around?

turn around? [laughter]

Oh, it's going to land on its own. We're good. We just got to wait a second.

good. We just got to wait a second. We're good.

We're good. Dude, is it actually just not going to

Dude, is it actually just not going to come down?

come down? No one will ever board it again.

No one will ever board it again. [laughter]

[laughter] He will fly until he passes out. There's

He will fly until he passes out. There's a ladder. Go to the Go to the tower,

a ladder. Go to the Go to the tower, soup, if you wait by the helicopter in

soup, if you wait by the helicopter in case it comes down.

case it comes down. Looks like that's going to happen pretty

Looks like that's going to happen pretty [laughter]

[laughter] soon, actually. No shot. You can

soon, actually. No shot. You can actually climb up that and get into it.

actually climb up that and get into it. BL, if you do this, I'll give you plane

BL, if you do this, I'll give you plane head on the way to

head on the way to Let's [ __ ] go.

Let's [ __ ] go. Let's see this [ __ ] BL, what the

Let's see this [ __ ] BL, what the [laughter] [ __ ]

[laughter] [ __ ] Ain't no way.

All right, turn. All right. Oh my [ __ ] god. I love War ZONE 2 SO

Oh my [ __ ] god. I love War ZONE 2 SO MUCH.

MUCH. OKAY, you jumped off from right here.

OKAY, you jumped off from right here. Yeah, and it was perfect.

Yeah, and it was perfect. All right.

All right. Everything about it was perfect.

Everything about it was perfect. Don't hit the blades. Don't No, no, no.

Don't hit the blades. Don't No, no, no. That's the blades. That

That's the blades. That You got it. You got it. You got it.

You got it. You got it. You got it. Oh my god.

Oh my god. Let me in. It won't let me in.

Let me in. It won't let me in. It's actually possible, though.

It's actually possible, though. Uh-oh. Well, maybe

Uh-oh. Well, maybe they're shooting at it. They're mad at

they're shooting at it. They're mad at it. They're mad at it. They're mad at

it. They're mad at it. They're mad at the helicopter. [laughter]

[ __ ] leaves. That was [laughter] flight or flight

That was [laughter] flight or flight right there. Kicking it.

right there. Kicking it. LITERALLY.

LITERALLY. [screaming] OH, REST IN PEACE GUY.

[screaming] OH, REST IN PEACE GUY. What's up?

What's up? Um,

Um, I'm I'm at the point of no return. It

I'm I'm at the point of no return. It wants me to jump.

wants me to jump. It wants me to jump off and use a

It wants me to jump off and use a parachute, but I don't trust that. Does

parachute, but I don't trust that. Does it say that for y'all as well? Right

it say that for y'all as well? Right now.

now. I'm not there yet. Lester's telling me

I'm not there yet. Lester's telling me to do it right now audibly. I can hear

to do it right now audibly. I can hear his dumb ass.

his dumb ass. We're We're going to wait for for Yummy.

We're We're going to wait for for Yummy. You know what? [ __ ] this mountain.

You know what? [ __ ] this mountain. Anti-hippies be like,

Anti-hippies be like, I want to buy Mormon piss.

I want to buy Mormon piss. How do you parachute? We need to make

How do you parachute? We need to make sure we know how to. It might be left

sure we know how to. It might be left click or like space bar or like

click or like space bar or like E. I'll figure it out in the air.

E. I'll figure it out in the air. Yeah. Guess what? Thesenuts.gov.

Yeah. Guess what? Thesenuts.gov. This is not [laughter]

This is not [laughter] um He never [laughter]

um He never [laughter]

he never gave me a parachute. Which one of y'all was just rolling down

Which one of y'all was just rolling down the side of the [ __ ] hill? [laughter]

the side of the [ __ ] hill? [laughter] Which one of y'all was

Which one of y'all was I'm not ready to [ __ ] end everything.

I'm not ready to [ __ ] end everything. I'm so confident.

I'm so confident. Gave me a parachute. I [laughter] fell

Gave me a parachute. I [laughter] fell 50 ft to my desk.

50 ft to my desk. I literally just started [ __ ]

I literally just started [ __ ] tumbling down the hill. JUST ROLLING

tumbling down the hill. JUST ROLLING DOWN.

DOWN. NO SHOT.

NO SHOT. WE'RE BACK HERE. OH MY GOD.

WE'RE BACK HERE. OH MY GOD. I'm riding with someone else. [ __ ] this.

I'm riding with someone else. [ __ ] this. Can we Son of a [ __ ] [ __ ] [laughter]

Can we Son of a [ __ ] [ __ ] [laughter] We may as well just start over. Yeah.

We may as well just start over. Yeah. No, we're fine. We're fine.

No, we're fine. We're fine. Are you sure? I think we should restart,

Are you sure? I think we should restart, actually.

actually. Get away from the cops.

Get away from the cops. Okay. Okay. Well, none of us die. Oh,

Okay. Okay. Well, none of us die. Oh, there we go. [laughter]

there we go. [laughter] If you're not in Ukraine, where you at?

If you're not in Ukraine, where you at? I'm in Ukraine.

I'm in Ukraine. [laughter]

Oh, we all wrong for that. [laughter] Pretty [ __ ] up.

Pretty [ __ ] up. Yeah. No, we don't support anything

Yeah. No, we don't support anything that's happening over there.

that's happening over there. Not in Ukraine. Where the [ __ ]

Not in Ukraine. Where the [ __ ] [laughter] are you at?

[laughter] are you at? Oh my god. That's funny. I don't care

Oh my god. That's funny. I don't care who you are.

who you are. Well, maybe if you're in Ukraine, it's

Well, maybe if you're in Ukraine, it's probably not that funny. [laughter]

probably not that funny. [laughter] If Putin don't stop acting up, I'm going

If Putin don't stop acting up, I'm going to hop in the battle bus and take care

to hop in the battle bus and take care of matters myself.

of matters myself. This kid. Okay, let me rephrase that.

This kid. Okay, let me rephrase that. This dude [ __ ] me. [laughter]

This dude [ __ ] me. [laughter] Good job, BDP.

Good job, BDP. Grown up.

Grown up. Very mature of you.

Very mature of you. Yeah, thanks, man.

Yeah, thanks, man. I'm only at this goolog to get a

I'm only at this goolog to get a cupcake. [laughter]

Yeah. Why is Chris Hansen in the goolog with you then?

with you then? [laughter]

[laughter] Hey, it's that nut sack fellow. It's the

Hey, it's that nut sack fellow. It's the rocket guy that got it 65.

rocket guy that got it 65. Yeah, a little nut sack head.

Yeah, a little nut sack head. That bow is bigger than you, man. What

That bow is bigger than you, man. What the hell?

the hell? Yeah, you better be careful with that

Yeah, you better be careful with that thing, man. It ain't no toy.

thing, man. It ain't no toy. Yeah, you right. My bad. My bad. I do to

Yeah, you right. My bad. My bad. I do to my child. [laughter]

my child. [laughter] Oh [ __ ]

Oh [ __ ] What a badass, dude. You should be

What a badass, dude. You should be careful. Going to have to step over him.

careful. Going to have to step over him. Careful. He might bite your ankles. He

Careful. He might bite your ankles. He might bite your ankles. Real life

might bite your ankles. Real life tempting to Are you tempting to feel

tempting to Are you tempting to feel better about yourself because you get

better about yourself because you get bullied in real life cuz you short? You

bullied in real life cuz you short? You [ __ ]

[ __ ] What do you mean? Because I'm short. Are

What do you mean? Because I'm short. Are you saying is that voicist? Are you

you saying is that voicist? Are you being voiced? I'm canceling you on

being voiced? I'm canceling you on Twitter right now.

Twitter right now. I am being [ __ ] You going to cancel me?

I am being [ __ ] You going to cancel me? I don't give a [ __ ]

I don't give a [ __ ] I don't know. You sound kind of mad. Why

I don't know. You sound kind of mad. Why are you so mad? Little nutsack head.

are you so mad? Little nutsack head. Someone get out of here.

Someone get out of here. This server [ __ ] sucks.

This server [ __ ] sucks. I'm about to just get loud. Volume

I'm about to just get loud. Volume warning.

warning. [screaming]

Stop screaming. Little nut sack hair [ __ ] Oh, little

Little nut sack hair [ __ ] Oh, little nut sack head ass.

nut sack head ass. He doesn't have a nut sack ass.

He doesn't have a nut sack ass. OH, LITTLE NUT SACK. [screaming]

OH, you're so funny for killing me, [screaming]

[screaming] bro. I'm lulling.

bro. I'm lulling. Sounds like someone's pressed.

Sounds like someone's pressed. [laughter]

[laughter] How does it feel, guys? How's it feel,

How does it feel, guys? How's it feel, man? I've always just wondered. How's it

man? I've always just wondered. How's it feel? No [ __ ] life, dude. What are

feel? No [ __ ] life, dude. What are you guys doing with your life? coming

you guys doing with your life? coming back. [laughter]

back. [laughter] You guys don't even You're not even real

You guys don't even You're not even real Harry Potter fans. You're not even real

Harry Potter fans. You're not even real Harry Potter fans. Y'all are all some

Harry Potter fans. Y'all are all some frauds.

frauds. Fake fans. I bet you guys didn't even

Fake fans. I bet you guys didn't even read the books. I bet you guys just

read the books. I bet you guys just watch the movies, dude. You guys

watch the movies, dude. You guys [laughter] are fake.

[laughter] are fake. I bet you role play some [ __ ]

I bet you role play some [ __ ] literature in your life.

literature in your life. I'm going to be real with you, Chief.

I'm going to be real with you, Chief. I'm going be completely real with you.

I'm going be completely real with you. You did just hit me with a tickle spell

You did just hit me with a tickle spell when you came back. So, um

when you came back. So, um Oh, no. He's going to kill me cuz I hit

Oh, no. He's going to kill me cuz I hit him with a tickle spell. I tickled him a

him with a tickle spell. I tickled him a little bit too hard. He can't handle it

little bit too hard. He can't handle it with his little nerve endings.

with his little nerve endings. [laughter]

[laughter] He can't catch me now.

He can't catch me now. Hey, Corbin,

Hey, Corbin, go [ __ ] yourself, [ __ ]

[laughter] Holy [ __ ] What are you?

Holy [ __ ] What are you? I'm in detention with you, Mr. Harry Gu.

I'm in detention with you, Mr. Harry Gu. I blocked the door and told Corbin to

I blocked the door and told Corbin to [ __ ] off. [laughter]

[ __ ] off. [laughter] Corbin guy. Oh my god.

Corbin guy. Oh my god. I hate this server. I want to go to Ask

I hate this server. I want to go to Ask a Man after this one. Oh, I'm already

a Man after this one. Oh, I'm already out. I've been

out. I've been How did you get released?

How did you get released? I don't know. This is the most boring

I don't know. This is the most boring [ __ ] They just stand around yelling at

[ __ ] They just stand around yelling at each other,

each other, dude. Right. And they probably been on

dude. Right. And they probably been on here for like hours.

here for like hours. Oh, they definitely have. There's just

Oh, they definitely have. There's just nothing going on.

nothing going on. Some guy said he's played on the server

Some guy said he's played on the server for 4 years.

for 4 years. I think I'd rather go to federal prison

I think I'd rather go to federal prison for 4 years and play on the server.

for 4 years and play on the server. [laughter]

[laughter] I'd

I'd rather go to Ukraine than [ __ ] do

rather go to Ukraine than [ __ ] do this for years.

this for years. Officer officer,

Officer officer, how do I become a cop, man? I want to be

how do I become a cop, man? I want to be a cop.

a cop. I want to be a cop, too.

I want to be a cop, too. Can you please hop out of my vehicle?

Can you please hop out of my vehicle? We want to become cop.

We want to become cop. You got to switch to

You got to switch to I got to switch my gender. What the

I got to switch my gender. What the hell?

For many years, my people. [laughter] Wait, I was just made a police cadet.

Wait, I was just made a police cadet. Where do you How'd you do it?

Where do you How'd you do it? Hit F4 and then just like hit apply for

Hit F4 and then just like hit apply for job. Oh my god. Yep. This is my

job. Oh my god. Yep. This is my police cadet apply for job. Okay.

police cadet apply for job. Okay. Do you remember this room?

Do you remember this room? Oh, yeah. [laughter] I remember.

Oh, yeah. [laughter] I remember. The the door's open this time, though.

The the door's open this time, though. Nice. Do we need to do training or are

Nice. Do we need to do training or are we just good to roll? I

we just good to roll? I I don't think we that door was supposed

I don't think we that door was supposed to be open.

to be open. Yeah.

Yeah. Hey, man.

Hey, man. Hey.

Hey. Supervisor told us need to be trained.

Supervisor told us need to be trained. Can you train us, man?

Can you train us, man? I love your guys'

I love your guys' videos, by the way. I know who it is.

videos, by the way. I know who it is. I'm not going to tell anybody, but I

I'm not going to tell anybody, but I know you guys can train us. Well, hey

know you guys can train us. Well, hey man, can you just give us guns then?

man, can you just give us guns then? No.

No. Please, dude. Just give me gun. Come on,

Please, dude. Just give me gun. Come on, brother. I'll give you

brother. I'll give you I can't really give you

I can't really give you I'll give you a Fortnite shout out in my

I'll give you a Fortnite shout out in my next video, bro. Give me gun.

next video, bro. Give me gun. A Fortnite

A Fortnite I'll tag you in the Instagram post, bro.

I'll tag you in the Instagram post, bro. It' be sick. The V-Bucks will be rolling

It' be sick. The V-Bucks will be rolling in, bro.

in, bro. Oh yeah.

Oh yeah. How about you drop me a goddamn gun, you

How about you drop me a goddamn gun, you fetus, before I find out where you live

fetus, before I find out where you live and kill you in real life. God damn it.

and kill you in real life. God damn it. [laughter]

It's a prank, by the way. That was just That was just a joke, by the way. That

That was just a joke, by the way. That was just one of those little YouTuber

was just one of those little YouTuber prank you for that.

prank you for that. Little YouTuber in the prank gone wrong

Little YouTuber in the prank gone wrong moment, you know. [laughter]

moment, you know. [laughter] Listen, man. I'm a YouTuber, bro. I'm

Listen, man. I'm a YouTuber, bro. I'm not supposed to be around small children

not supposed to be around small children for a long time. You're going to have to

for a long time. You're going to have to exit the area. Yeah. Get the [ __ ] out of

exit the area. Yeah. Get the [ __ ] out of here, bro, before I get put on drama

here, bro, before I get put on drama alert. Get the [ __ ] out of here. [cough]

[laughter] TELL SOMEONE [screaming] TO LET THE [ __ ]

TELL SOMEONE [screaming] TO LET THE [ __ ] OUT OF HERE.

OUT OF HERE. I AM. GIVE ME A PSYCHIC.

I AM. GIVE ME A PSYCHIC. GOD, [ __ ] DAMN. OPEN THE DOOR.

GOD, [ __ ] DAMN. OPEN THE DOOR. GOD DAMN IT. Open the [ __ ] door.

GOD DAMN IT. Open the [ __ ] door. What is that? What are you nominated

What is that? What are you nominated for? Are they trying to demote ME? WHAT?

for? Are they trying to demote ME? WHAT? I GOT DEMOTED.

I GOT DEMOTED. OH, I VOTED for you. What the [ __ ]

OH, I VOTED for you. What the [ __ ] You piece of [ __ ] [laughter]

You piece of [ __ ] [laughter] You got me fired, dude. That was my

You got me fired, dude. That was my dream job. What am I supposed to do now?

dream job. What am I supposed to do now? Just apply again.

Just apply again. I need to wait 108 seconds. Oh my god.

I need to wait 108 seconds. Oh my god. Oh, I've been hired by the police.

Oh, I've been hired by the police. Okay. Do you guys want to get trained to

Okay. Do you guys want to get trained to know what you're doing or just [ __ ]

know what you're doing or just [ __ ] get into it?

get into it? Mars, you think I don't know what I'm

Mars, you think I don't know what I'm doing, [ __ ] You're under

doing, [ __ ] You're under arrest, Mars.

arrest, Mars. [laughter]

[laughter] Mars, you're going to jail now for

Mars, you're going to jail now for doubting the police.

doubting the police. No, no, no. Let me go. Let me go.

No, no, no. Let me go. Let me go. You're under arrest.

You're under arrest. You're going to the slammer. Mars all

You're going to the slammer. Mars all that [ __ ] [laughter]

that [ __ ] [laughter] Give it backs. I don't even know how to

Give it backs. I don't even know how to give people combs.

give people combs. Citizens citizen [ __ ] whatever.

Citizens citizen [ __ ] whatever. Mars, you really think it's a good idea

Mars, you really think it's a good idea to tell Yummy how to do that? [laughter]

to tell Yummy how to do that? [laughter] No.

No. Give him five.

Give him five. [laughter] Should

I go get that car out of the upstairs in the PD?

the PD? No, you just do a car wipe and it'll

No, you just do a car wipe and it'll just wipe it.

just wipe it. Oh.

Oh. Oh, hell yeah, man. Does this thing have

Oh, hell yeah, man. Does this thing have infinite ammo? Why did we put him on the

infinite ammo? Why did we put him on the gunner? [laughter]

gunner? [laughter] This is stupid.

This is stupid. Our first our first cop car.

Our first our first cop car. I have a feel I'm going to end up

I have a feel I'm going to end up getting calmed.

getting calmed. Pull over. Pull over. Pull over now.

Pull over. Pull over. Pull over now. Pull over. Pull over. Stop the gang

Pull over. Pull over. Stop the gang violence. We're here to stop gang

violence. We're here to stop gang violence.

violence. [laughter]

[laughter] Yeah,

Yeah, we're here to clean up the streets.

we're here to clean up the streets. We're cleaning up the streets. No more

We're cleaning up the streets. No more gang violence.

gang violence. Stop. Stop. They're calling the ad.

Stop. Stop. They're calling the ad. THEY'RE ALREADY TALKING. [laughter] OH

THEY'RE ALREADY TALKING. [laughter] OH [ __ ] WE'RE [ __ ]

[ __ ] WE'RE [ __ ] They're tattletailing in chat already,

They're tattletailing in chat already, [laughter] y'all. We're

[laughter] y'all. We're n I know. I know the admin there. It's

n I know. I know the admin there. It's all good. We're good.

all good. We're good. Oh my god. The chat was lighting up.

Oh my god. The chat was lighting up. They're like, "What the [ __ ] [laughter]

They're like, "What the [ __ ] [laughter] Are we taking this to comms?" Dude, this

Are we taking this to comms?" Dude, this is [ __ ] awesome. All right, we need

is [ __ ] awesome. All right, we need to give some people some comms.

to give some people some comms. I can give it to Mars.

I can give it to Mars. Yeah, get Mars over here.

Yeah, get Mars over here. I'll get them over here.

I'll get them over here. [laughter]

[laughter] Hold on.

Hold on. Oh my god.

Oh my god. [laughter]

[laughter] Why you got so many coms?

Why you got so many coms? Build RP.

Build RP. Hey 66, start uh start sweeping, man.

Hey 66, start uh start sweeping, man. [laughter] Start sweeping.

[laughter] Start sweeping. I got you. I got you. I got you. That

I got you. I got you. I got you. That was you. That was you guys that put up

was you. That was you guys that put up in that [ __ ] SWAT truck and killed us

in that [ __ ] SWAT truck and killed us all. [laughter] Yeah, maybe.

all. [laughter] Yeah, maybe. What the hell?

What the hell? Come here. You know what happens in jail

Come here. You know what happens in jail stays in jail. [screaming]

HELP. HELP. HELP. HELP. GIVE HIM. GIVE HIM A BILLION

HELP. HELP. GIVE HIM. GIVE HIM A BILLION MORE COMS. Give him a billion more coms.

MORE COMS. Give him a billion more coms. Give me a bunch of drugs.

Give me a bunch of drugs. HELP. [screaming]

HELP. [screaming] NOBODY'S HELPING YOU.

NOBODY'S HELPING YOU. SOMEBODY HELP ME. HELP. HELP.

SOMEBODY HELP ME. HELP. HELP. WHAT THE [ __ ]

WHAT THE [ __ ] [laughter] Where are we going right now?

[laughter] Where are we going right now? This is a fever dream.

This is a fever dream. Ow.

Ow. Oh god. We're going to get five.

Oh god. We're going to get five. Kill me now. You're [ __ ] dead.

Kill me now. You're [ __ ] dead. We're dead.

We're dead. What is going [laughter] on?

What is going [laughter] on? Stop shooting me.

Stop shooting me. All right, I'm back. Don't shoot me

All right, I'm back. Don't shoot me again.

again. Stop shooting you [ __ ]

Stop shooting you [ __ ] Help. What the [ __ ] are we doing?

Help. What the [ __ ] are we doing? Thank you for calling on cancellation

Thank you for calling on cancellation department. How may I help you today?

department. How may I help you today? Hey, is this Geek Squad?

Hey, is this Geek Squad? Yes, sir. How may I help you?

Yes, sir. How may I help you? Uh, I just lost $400. I want it back.

Uh, I just lost $400. I want it back. Uh, can you please tell me the last four

Uh, can you please tell me the last four digit of the invoice?

digit of the invoice? Yes. Tell me the last four digit of the

Yes. Tell me the last four digit of the invoice which you have received on the

invoice which you have received on the email.

email. 6457.

6457. And how much you have got the charge

And how much you have got the charge amount?

amount? $400 for the for it says for the Greek

$400 for the for it says for the Greek squad service.

squad service. Okay, just be just bear with me. Let me

Okay, just be just bear with me. Let me have a let me have to check with my

have a let me have to check with my database what's going wrong with your

database what's going wrong with your subscription and why you are getting

subscription and why you are getting this charge. Can I know your last name

this charge. Can I know your last name sir?

sir? Dmer okay just be on the just be on the

Dmer okay just be on the just be on the line. Let me check. Thank you for

line. Let me check. Thank you for holding a line as I can check on my

holding a line as I can check on my database that a year ago you have took a

database that a year ago you have took a gig score free trial subscription for

gig score free trial subscription for your computer which was a one-year free

your computer which was a one-year free trial and just got expired yesterday and

trial and just got expired yesterday and has taken place as a auto renewal and

has taken place as a auto renewal and that is the reason you are getting a

that is the reason you are getting a confirmation mail from us that your

confirmation mail from us that your subscription is going to be renewed. So

subscription is going to be renewed. So do you want to continue with the

do you want to continue with the subscription or you want to cancel and

subscription or you want to cancel and get back to the refund money sir?

get back to the refund money sir? I want to renew it.

I want to renew it. You want to renew it, right?

You want to renew it, right? Tell me you want to renew his

Tell me you want to renew his subscription to his mother's chicken

subscription to his mother's chicken account.

account. I want to renew the subscription to the

I want to renew the subscription to the to your mother's chicken account.

to your mother's chicken account. I want to [ __ ] your sister ass. You

I want to [ __ ] your sister ass. You [ __ ] I want to lick your sister

[ __ ] I want to lick your sister ass, [ __ ] You [ __ ]

ass, [ __ ] You [ __ ] I want your

I want your I want your I want your I want your

I want your I want your I want your sister. I want I want your

sister. I want I want your WhatsApp. [laughter]

WhatsApp. [laughter] I'll call him back. I'll call him back.

I'll call him back. I'll call him back. He's not winning this one. [laughter]

He's not winning this one. [laughter] Thank you for holding a line. Thank you

Thank you for holding a line. Thank you for say, "Oh, this is the [ __ ] again.

for say, "Oh, this is the [ __ ] again. I'll help you, sir."

I'll help you, sir." Oh, this is the [ __ ] again.

Oh, this is the [ __ ] again. You [ __ ] You son of a [ __ ]

You [ __ ] You son of a [ __ ] You are not [ __ ]

You are not [ __ ] [ __ ]

[ __ ] Give me the pin to your chicken account.

Give me the pin to your chicken account. I want to [ __ ] your sister up,

I want to [ __ ] your sister up, [ __ ]

[ __ ] No, you're not.

No, you're not. Yes, I want to [ __ ] I want to [ __ ] her

Yes, I want to [ __ ] I want to [ __ ] her [ __ ] What makes you think you can?

[ __ ] What makes you think you can? [laughter]

[laughter] Uh, like I can I can [ __ ] your like

What the [ __ ] I want to [ __ ] your sister.

[laughter] You're not [ __ ] sister.

You're not [ __ ] sister. Give me your sister.

Give me your sister. Give me your chicken Steam account.

Give me your chicken Steam account. Say you get no rupes, my friend. You get

Say you get no rupes, my friend. You get no rub.

no rub. Now you can Now you can hand up the car,

Now you can Now you can hand up the car, you [ __ ]

you [ __ ] How about you suck my

How about you suck my [laughter]

[laughter] I'm getting passed.

I'm getting passed. That call center is so loud, dude. It's

That call center is so loud, dude. It's unbelievable.

unbelievable. I know.

You [ __ ] Once again, we're talking to your father. How can I

we're talking to your father. How can I [laughter] help you?

[laughter] help you? Send me your girlfriend's ankle p.

Send me your girlfriend's ankle p. You [ __ ] You're talking to your

You [ __ ] You're talking to your father now. Now you now you have a word

father now. Now you now you have a word with me.

with me. Send me your send me your boobish.

Send me your send me your boobish. I I will send you uh like I will send

I I will send you uh like I will send you my uh large dick. Hey you [ __ ]

you my uh large dick. Hey you [ __ ] What happened? What's wrong with you?

What happened? What's wrong with you? You [ __ ] What's wrong?

You [ __ ] What? Why? I'm stroking it. [laughter]

I'm stroking it. [laughter] Why are you talking to us? You [ __ ]

Why are you talking to us? You [ __ ] wrong with you?

wrong with you? Why Why are you screaming it [ __ ]

Why Why are you screaming it [ __ ] Why you are getting a cop?

Why you are getting a cop? YEAH, BABY.

YEAH, BABY. Your throat will come out, you [ __ ]

Your throat will come out, you [ __ ] Stroke my dick. [laughter]

Stroke my dick. [laughter] Your throat will come out, you [ __ ]

Your throat will come out, you [ __ ] About you start stroking it too so we

About you start stroking it too so we can have A PARTY, BABY.

can have A PARTY, BABY. PARTY, BABY. [ __ ] What happened?

PARTY, BABY. [ __ ] What happened? What's wrong with you, [ __ ]

What's wrong with you, [ __ ] Say you have no chest hair. [laughter]

Say you have no chest hair. [laughter] What is that? WHAT IS THAT?

What is that? WHAT IS THAT? AM I TALKING ABOUT [ __ ] MICKEY MOUSE?

AM I TALKING ABOUT [ __ ] MICKEY MOUSE? WHAT HAPPENED?

WHAT HAPPENED? Pull Are you going to pull [laughter]

Pull Are you going to pull [laughter] your pants down and start stroking your

your pants down and start stroking your chicken or not?

chicken or not? Bro, what the [ __ ] [laughter]

Bro, what the [ __ ] [laughter] I haven't yelled like that in years.

I haven't yelled like that in years. Found Obama in a Walmart bathroom

Found Obama in a Walmart bathroom in his tiny.

in his tiny. He was washing his back with soap. I

He was washing his back with soap. I guess you're tiny.

guess you're tiny. Who said it was tiny? Watching with a

Who said it was tiny? Watching with a small dog. Thinking of how I could get

small dog. Thinking of how I could get it off.

it off. I love watching with a small dog. What

I love watching with a small dog. What is Soup trying to tell us?

is Soup trying to tell us? I think he likes little dogs.

I think he likes little dogs. I found my dog in a Chinese kitchen.

I found my dog in a Chinese kitchen. [snorts]

[snorts] He was cooking like a chef.

He was cooking like a chef. He has thumbs. He has opposable thumbs.

He has thumbs. He has opposable thumbs. He a reverse card and cooked one of the

He a reverse card and cooked one of the cooks. [laughter]

cooks. [laughter] Holy that human fried rice. That busting

Holy that human fried rice. That busting box.

box. You're telling me a great day cooked

You're telling me a great day cooked this rice?

this rice? [laughter]

Mayonnaise is technically an instrument. I don't give a [ __ ] what you say.

I don't give a [ __ ] what you say. Anything could be an instrument.

Anything could be an instrument. Yeah. What about my

Yeah. What about my mayonnaise is what good sounds like.

mayonnaise is what good sounds like. [laughter]

[laughter] Good. You look like a chimp.

Good. You look like a chimp. If her don't look like a bucket with

If her don't look like a bucket with puke in it, you're doing it wrong,

puke in it, you're doing it wrong, dude. What?

dude. What? What?

What? Better smell exactly like a bucket of

Better smell exactly like a bucket of puke.

puke. If that [ __ ] don't look like a Dixie

If that [ __ ] don't look like a Dixie cup full of pivickled pig's feet, you

cup full of pivickled pig's feet, you ain't [ __ ] a bad [ __ ] If you ain't

ain't [ __ ] a bad [ __ ] If you ain't [ __ ] a human pig made out of salava,

[ __ ] a human pig made out of salava, you [ __ ] [laughter]

You ain't [ __ ] a Chinese propaganda humanoid creature and built in a lab.

humanoid creature and built in a lab. Get in the [ __ ] game.

Get in the [ __ ] game. I didn't know I had to join.

I didn't know I had to join. GUYS, TODAY WE'RE PLAYING GTA

GUYS, TODAY WE'RE PLAYING GTA [screaming] 5.

[screaming] 5. OH, DUDE. I HAVE LIKE PRESSURE IN my

OH, DUDE. I HAVE LIKE PRESSURE IN my ear. Holy [ __ ] [laughter]

ear. Holy [ __ ] [laughter] RUPT,

RUPT, [screaming]

[screaming] I need you to leave.

I need you to leave. Why?

Why? Because we told you guys multiple times.

Because we told you guys multiple times. Yeah. Well, guess what? I don't take

Yeah. Well, guess what? I don't take orders from you,

orders from you, buddy.

buddy. Yes, you do.

Yes, you do. No, I don't. This is a public road,

No, I don't. This is a public road, [ __ ]

[ __ ] I can put you in the box with them, too,

I can put you in the box with them, too, so they can have a good time with you.

so they can have a good time with you. Do you want that?

Do you want that? Oh, we're going to have a good time with

Oh, we're going to have a good time with them. Don't you worry about nothing. I'm

them. Don't you worry about nothing. I'm going to [ __ ] his butt.

going to [ __ ] his butt. Guess who's going to jail tonight?

Guess who's going to jail tonight? You're letting them come back in.

You're letting them come back in. [laughter] Stuck in there. You better

[laughter] Stuck in there. You better run.

run. Oh, [ __ ] I can't get out. I can't get

Oh, [ __ ] I can't get out. I can't get out. Get out. I'm just going to bring

out. Get out. I'm just going to bring him right here. GET OUT. [laughter]

him right here. GET OUT. [laughter] HEY, LET GO OF MY FRIEND.

HEY, LET GO OF MY FRIEND. SO, the thing is you're can't get out.

SO, the thing is you're can't get out. The guy with the yellow backpack and

The guy with the yellow backpack and it's

it's n This guy's mad. He's mad. Mancuffed

n This guy's mad. He's mad. Mancuffed Trippy. Do something. Oh, [ __ ]

Trippy. Do something. Oh, [ __ ] Hey, let go of my friend room. What are

Hey, let go of my friend room. What are you doing? [laughter]

you doing? [laughter] [screaming]

[screaming] Yeah.

Yeah. Going to crush that.

Going to crush that. What are you guys doing in my friend

What are you guys doing in my friend room? [laughter]

room? [laughter] You got the wrong person, dude. WHAT THE

You got the wrong person, dude. WHAT THE HELL, BUDDY?

HELL, BUDDY? [screaming]

[screaming] MY LITTLE STINKY PENIS. MY LITTLE stinky

MY LITTLE STINKY PENIS. MY LITTLE stinky penis.

penis. I can't even turn around.

I can't even turn around. Mate, you're fired, bro. Mate, you're

Mate, you're fired, bro. Mate, you're fire.

fire. [screaming]

You took my legal firearm. Shut your ass up, bro. Like, I I will

Shut your ass up, bro. Like, I I will sue the whole lot of you. I don't care.

sue the whole lot of you. I don't care. I've got one of the best lawyers. I I

I've got one of the best lawyers. I I [laughter]

[laughter] What is happening? He's going to sue the

What is happening? He's going to sue the whole lot of you.

whole lot of you. All right. [laughter] You want Max, you

All right. [laughter] You want Max, you want to come with me so we can process

want to come with me so we can process this, too, for disobeying orders.

this, too, for disobeying orders. How about you process a ham sandwich

How about you process a ham sandwich into my mouth? I'm hungry.

into my mouth? I'm hungry. Did I even Holy [ __ ]

Did I even Holy [ __ ] All right, I'm just going to Max, get in

All right, I'm just going to Max, get in the car, please.

the car, please. Max, this guy beside me said you're a

Max, this guy beside me said you're a [ __ ] What are we pausing for?

[ __ ] What are we pausing for? Disobeying orders. These are the two

Disobeying orders. These are the two that went the scene after we

that went the scene after we Max, don't listen to this guy up here

Max, don't listen to this guy up here driving. This guy said you're a [ __ ]

driving. This guy said you're a [ __ ] He told me

He told me he said Max is a [ __ ] Kind [laughter]

he said Max is a [ __ ] Kind [laughter] of weird that your name is Max, but you

of weird that your name is Max, but you definitely don't got the max amount of

definitely don't got the max amount of chromosomes, dude. You definitely

chromosomes, dude. You definitely missing one or two. [laughter] Are they

missing one or two. [laughter] Are they taking us right to prison?

taking us right to prison? I don't know.

I don't know. I think they are.

I think they are. Max, I don't like you worth a [ __ ]

Max, I don't like you worth a [ __ ] [ __ ] you, Max.

[ __ ] you, Max. [ __ ] you, Max. Eat [ __ ] and die.

[ __ ] you, Max. Eat [ __ ] and die. [laughter]

I think there's something wrong in the engine or something.

engine or something. [ __ ] you, Max.

[ __ ] you, Max. [ __ ] you.

[laughter] I swear I can't hear.

I swear I can't hear. Shut the hell up, Max.

Shut the hell up, Max. Why you suck my head?

Why you suck my head? [laughter]

[laughter] Why don't you let me give you head, Max?

Why don't you let me give you head, Max? Hey, what's up? Your worst nightmare

Hey, what's up? Your worst nightmare just showed up in this [ __ ] I'm

just showed up in this [ __ ] I'm about to suck everyone's dick in here.

about to suck everyone's dick in here. Goddamn it.

Goddamn it. You there, sir? You want YOUR DICK

You there, sir? You want YOUR DICK SUCKED? I'M HERE [screaming] TO SUCK

SUCKED? I'M HERE [screaming] TO SUCK DICK. WOO! I'M SUCKING SOME DICK

DICK. WOO! I'M SUCKING SOME DICK TONIGHT. HELL YEAH. HEY, WHY DON'T Y'ALL

TONIGHT. HELL YEAH. HEY, WHY DON'T Y'ALL JUST stay in here with me with these

JUST stay in here with me with these handcuffs on, baby? Come on. Come on,

handcuffs on, baby? Come on. Come on, baby. What you say? I can't I'm facing

baby. What you say? I can't I'm facing the wall. I can't see [ __ ]

the wall. I can't see [ __ ] HELLO. CAN SOMEBODY help [screaming] me?

HELLO. I'M NOT YOUR BUDDY, BUDDY. [laughter]

[laughter] I want to eat some ass. Holy.

I want to eat some ass. Holy. Shut the [ __ ] up.

Shut the [ __ ] up. Stop e- raping me, please.

Stop e- raping me, please. [ __ ] you. [screaming]

[ __ ] you. [screaming] [laughter]

[laughter] You placing your jumpsuit now. Let me

You placing your jumpsuit now. Let me strip it down naked.

strip it down naked. You kind of skin that.

You kind of skin that. I'm beating his ass.

I'm beating his ass. I was going to say I'm beating his ass.

I was going to say I'm beating his ass. Are you?

Are you? I'm going to [ __ ] your ass, Copper.

I'm going to [ __ ] your ass, Copper. You got to go help.

You got to go help. [laughter]

[laughter] [ __ ] YOU, MAX.

[ __ ] YOU, MAX. YEAH. YEAH. We got

YEAH. YEAH. We got Put that down. [laughter]

Put that down. [laughter] Okay.

Okay. No holy bombs in the vehicle. Got to

No holy bombs in the vehicle. Got to hold it now.

hold it now. Take us downtown.

Take us downtown. Take us downtown, Mr. Brown Man.

Take us downtown, Mr. Brown Man. BACK TO HEAVEN.

BACK TO HEAVEN. LIBERAL [ __ ] [screaming]

LIBERAL [ __ ] [screaming] MOLOTOV THIS TRUCK. DIE, [ __ ]

MOLOTOV THIS TRUCK. DIE, [ __ ] Didn't even face him.

Didn't even face him. [laughter]

[laughter] Get down, [ __ ]

Get down, [ __ ] This looks like a hate crime. I set my

This looks like a hate crime. I set my head on fire. [laughter]

black guy that just moved into a white neighborhood. [laughter]

neighborhood. [laughter] This is literally a hate crime.

This is literally a hate crime. Wait, what do we give a chance?

Wait, what do we give a chance? A chance.

A chance. [laughter]

[laughter] [ __ ] Cops. He's literally driving away.

[ __ ] Cops. He's literally driving away. Oh, there's a police stop up here, dude.

Oh, there's a police stop up here, dude. They're trying to like block us in. All

They're trying to like block us in. All right. Well, they're all dead now.

BOMBED [screaming] US. [laughter] Of course. What happened?

Of course. What happened? What a surprise. killed us.

What a surprise. killed us. Just got ran over by a Nissan juke.

Just got ran over by a Nissan juke. That sounds like a slur.

That sounds like a slur. That's a That's a [laughter] Infinity

That's a That's a [laughter] Infinity 2X60.

Oh, hey Dy. What's up, man?

hey Dy. What's up, man? What's up, man?

What's up, man? What's going [clears throat] on? How you

What's going [clears throat] on? How you doing this evening?

doing this evening? Pretty good, man.

Pretty good, man. Yeah. What's your favorite thing to put

Yeah. What's your favorite thing to put on a sandwich?

on a sandwich? Oh, [ __ ] I just ate some [ __ ]

Oh, [ __ ] I just ate some [ __ ] sandwich.

sandwich. What? What kind of sandwich was it?

What? What kind of sandwich was it? It was uh I don't even know. My wife

It was uh I don't even know. My wife made it. You have a wife.

made it. You have a wife. You're married?

You're married? That's [ __ ] cringe, dude. I have a

That's [ __ ] cringe, dude. I have a husband. [laughter]

Ain't nothing wrong with that. Amen. Amen.

Amen. Amen. What kind of sandwich did your wife make

What kind of sandwich did your wife make for you, dude?

for you, dude? It's a [ __ ] turkey.

It's a [ __ ] turkey. Like a turkey, CHICKEN.

Like a turkey, CHICKEN. [screaming]

[screaming] TWO BIRDS, ONE SANDWICH, BROTHER.

TWO BIRDS, ONE SANDWICH, BROTHER. [laughter]

[laughter] What the [ __ ]

What the [ __ ] Okay. Hey, chicken, turkey. What else?

Okay. Hey, chicken, turkey. What else? Ham. Ham.

Ham. Ham. Uh, it's got some some American cheese.

Uh, it's got some some American cheese. Oh, yeah. None of that British [ __ ]

Oh, yeah. None of that British [ __ ] Yeah. [laughter]

Yeah. [laughter] And uh SOME MAYONNAISE.

And uh SOME MAYONNAISE. [ __ ] YEAH. [laughter]

[ __ ] YEAH. [laughter] A [ __ ] I JUST

A [ __ ] I JUST THAT CHEESE MADE IN AMERICA, BABY. THAT

THAT CHEESE MADE IN AMERICA, BABY. THAT CHEESE [screaming] IS MADE IN AMERICA.

CHEESE [screaming] IS MADE IN AMERICA. [laughter]

[laughter] WHAT'S UP? SOUP. Good soup.

WHAT'S UP? SOUP. Good soup. That's right, dude. Good soup. Yeah. I'm

That's right, dude. Good soup. Yeah. I'm going to [ __ ] in the Sears parking lot

going to [ __ ] in the Sears parking lot tomorrow.

tomorrow. [laughter]

[laughter] Sears is close now.

Sears is close now. Oh, dude. I don't [ __ ] know. I ain't

Oh, dude. I don't [ __ ] know. I ain't been outside in 12 years. I got one of

been outside in 12 years. I got one of them [laughter] funny things on my ankle

them [laughter] funny things on my ankle that lights up if I go outside.

that lights up if I go outside. Ah,

Ah, yeah. I tried to walk outside, you know.

yeah. I tried to walk outside, you know. A bunch of funny people in cool hat show

A bunch of funny people in cool hat show up and they're pointing guns at me and

up and they're pointing guns at me and stuff, man. [laughter]

stuff, man. [laughter] You can change the ringtone on those.

You can change the ringtone on those. You can make it like the jingle bell

You can make it like the jingle bell rock.

rock. Yeah, dude. I walk outside and listen to

Yeah, dude. I walk outside and listen to some [ __ ] ding ding ding ding ding

some [ __ ] ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding. [laughter]

ding ding ding ding ding. [laughter] Yo, Dre, you ever been tased?

Yo, Dre, you ever been tased? Yes.

Yes. Really? How was it?

Really? How was it? But it's not It wasn't like the one of

But it's not It wasn't like the one of the strong ones though. It was just like

the strong ones though. It was just like a

a Here's one of them small penis tasers.

Here's one of them small penis tasers. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hey man, we're losing.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hey man, we're losing. I'm not playing real good right now cuz

I'm not playing real good right now cuz my husband's giving me head.

my husband's giving me head. Yeah, me too. I just [laughter]

Yeah, me too. I just [laughter] Yo, Drezy, tell me a funny joke.

Yo, Drezy, tell me a funny joke. You want to hear a funny joke? Yeah.

You want to hear a funny joke? Yeah. Give me like 20 minutes.

Give me like 20 minutes. 20 minutes? Godamn, dude. It's going to

20 minutes? Godamn, dude. It's going to be the [ __ ] new year by then. I got

be the [ __ ] new year by then. I got one for you.

one for you. Go for it. I bet you got all the

Go for it. I bet you got all the What you call cow with no legs?

What you call cow with no legs? Cow with no legs.

Cow with no legs. I say

I say ground beard.

ground beard. [laughter]

[laughter] [screaming]

[screaming] What do you call cow with legs?

What do you call cow with legs? With legs.

With legs. Yep.

Yep. COW. STEAK [ __ ] [screaming]

COW. STEAK [ __ ] [screaming] DINNER.

DINNER. [laughter]

[laughter] What about a cow with three legs?

What about a cow with three legs? What is it?

What is it? Lean beef.

Lean beef. [laughter]

[laughter] We call cow with seven legs. [ __ ]

We call cow with seven legs. [ __ ] [ __ ] [laughter]

[ __ ] [laughter] You're You're a grown man crying on GTA,

You're You're a grown man crying on GTA, [ __ ]

[ __ ] Get your white. Crunch your ass up

Get your white. Crunch your ass up talking to me. Dude,

talking to me. Dude, I'm going to kiss you.

I'm going to kiss you. Yeah, go kiss your mama. YOU PROBABLY

Yeah, go kiss your mama. YOU PROBABLY [ __ ] TOO.

[ __ ] TOO. I GOT TWO DADDIES. I GOT two daddies. I

I GOT TWO DADDIES. I GOT two daddies. I ain't got a mama.

ain't got a mama. Good then. Good [ __ ] Look at

Good then. Good [ __ ] Look at [laughter] him. Still call yourself

[laughter] him. Still call yourself trying to trying to trying to piss on

trying to trying to trying to piss on somebody.

somebody. Take you know if you want to be white or

Take you know if you want to be white or black. Take your [ __ ] ass on 137.

black. Take your [ __ ] ass on 137. I'll piss on your

I'll piss on your You over here on Gro Street with some

You over here on Gro Street with some dirty ass pissy ass shoes on with a

dirty ass pissy ass shoes on with a dirty ass [ __ ] flavor. Getting pissed

dirty ass [ __ ] flavor. Getting pissed on your piss [laughter] you off.

on your piss [laughter] you off. I'm getting pissed.

I'm getting pissed. Yeah. Hey, let's take this man for a

Yeah. Hey, let's take this man for a let's take him for a ride. Let's take

let's take him for a ride. Let's take him for a ride, man. Why you so mad,

him for a ride, man. Why you so mad, dude? Why you so

dude? Why you so talking all that [ __ ] earlier? You was

talking all that [ __ ] earlier? You was talking dummy [ __ ] and I popped his ass.

talking dummy [ __ ] and I popped his ass. Now he mad. That's crazy.

Now he mad. That's crazy. Did he leave? I think he left. Damn,

Did he leave? I think he left. Damn, what a [ __ ] [laughter]

what a [ __ ] [laughter] I'm going to pop his ass again. I got

I'm going to pop his ass again. I got cameras.

cameras. Hilarious.

Hilarious. What is happening?

What is happening? I'm going to shoot his ass again. Y'all

I'm going to shoot his ass again. Y'all new here.

new here. Yeah, I feel that.

Yeah, I feel that. I grew up here. [laughter]

I grew up here. [laughter] Damn, this [ __ ] lit. This [ __ ] about to

Damn, this [ __ ] lit. This [ __ ] about to be full with players.

be full with players. I think he's right there in the orange,

I think he's right there in the orange, right? He's right there.

right? He's right there. Oh, that is

Oh, that is He's still piggy banking his [laughter]

He's still piggy banking his [laughter] [ __ ] ass, little [ __ ]

[ __ ] ass, little [ __ ] You still piggybacking your [ __ ] ass

You still piggybacking your [ __ ] ass weird ass song. [laughter] Don't do it.

weird ass song. [laughter] Don't do it. What you going to do, [ __ ]

What you going to do, [ __ ] Where you going, bro? Got to have his

Where you going, bro? Got to have his boyfriend give him a little piggy back.

boyfriend give him a little piggy back. Drop that dude.

Drop that dude. The [ __ ] shot at me, THOUGH.

The [ __ ] shot at me, THOUGH. DAMN, YOU SUCK.

DAMN, YOU SUCK. THE [ __ ] SHOT,

this [ __ ] go viral. Y talking to me. I'm really trying to do

Y talking to me. I'm really trying to do [ __ ] in here and y'all running around

[ __ ] in here and y'all running around the mouth doing this.

the mouth doing this. Hey, listen, man. I love you. I love you

Hey, listen, man. I love you. I love you and nobody loves you.

and nobody loves you. I love you so much. I love riding around

I love you so much. I love riding around town with you. I love being seen with

town with you. I love being seen with you. I want to marry you.

you. I want to marry you. And this lame.

And this lame. Is he lame? He's done dropped your ass

Is he lame? He's done dropped your ass like what? Three times.

like what? Three times. I dropped his ass three times. I dropped

I dropped his ass three times. I dropped his ass three times. I dropped his ass

his ass three times. I dropped his ass three times. Now he mad.

three times. Now he mad. I dropped his ass three times. Now he

I dropped his ass three times. Now he mad.

mad. Your mama's a [ __ ] You're [ __ ]

Your mama's a [ __ ] You're [ __ ] [laughter] dead grand ass [ __ ] [ __ ]

[laughter] dead grand ass [ __ ] [ __ ] I hope [ __ ] spiderw webs CRAWL OUT

I hope [ __ ] spiderw webs CRAWL OUT THAT [ __ ] [laughter]

THAT [ __ ] [laughter] I hope in the [ __ ] grave. I hope this

I hope in the [ __ ] grave. I hope this old sibling that's dying on the bed died

old sibling that's dying on the bed died to [ __ ] night. Kill your [ __ ]

to [ __ ] night. Kill your [ __ ] grandad.

grandad. Kill your [ __ ]

Kill your [ __ ] kill your [ __ ] me. I'mma put a curse

kill your [ __ ] me. I'mma put a curse on you, [ __ ]

on you, [ __ ] You going to put a curse on me?

You going to put a curse on me? Put [laughter] a curse on a curse on me.

Put [laughter] a curse on a curse on me. Put your y [ __ ] will die tonight,

Put your y [ __ ] will die tonight, [ __ ]

[ __ ] You going Yeah. Say the curse out loud.

You going Yeah. Say the curse out loud. What is it?

What is it? You going to see it? I bet you

You going to see it? I bet you hamburger cheeseburger Big Mac Whopper

hamburger cheeseburger Big Mac Whopper [ __ ] What's your curse? Do it. Give me

[ __ ] What's your curse? Do it. Give me your best. Give me your best curse.

your best. Give me your best curse. You hang around me. Going to end up in

You hang around me. Going to end up in my bed. We going to be kissing. Beat

my bed. We going to be kissing. Beat y'all [ __ ]

Shut the [ __ ] up. Exactly. Shut the [ __ ] up, dog. Hey,

Exactly. Shut the [ __ ] up, dog. Hey, man. Y'all some lame ass [ __ ]

man. Y'all some lame ass [ __ ] LIKE FOR REAL. IN REAL LIFE. I AIN'T GOT

LIKE FOR REAL. IN REAL LIFE. I AIN'T GOT NO LIFE, BRO.

NO LIFE, BRO. OH, KEEP TALKING TO ME.

OH, KEEP TALKING TO ME. KEEP DIRTY TALKING ME, LIBERAL. OH, KEEP

KEEP DIRTY TALKING ME, LIBERAL. OH, KEEP DIRTY TALKING ME.

DIRTY TALKING ME. OH, you going to make me nut. You going

OH, you going to make me nut. You going to make me nut all over that orange

to make me nut all over that orange jacket, liberal. Oh,

jacket, liberal. Oh, any anytime you talk like that to a

any anytime you talk like that to a dude, you really are gay. I'm out,

dude, you really are gay. I'm out, [ __ ] [laughter]

[ __ ] [laughter] Oh my god. Holy [ __ ] This dude is

Oh my god. Holy [ __ ] This dude is having a meltdown. [laughter]

having a meltdown. [laughter] He said, "I am going to put a curse on

He said, "I am going to put a curse on all of you. You will die tonight."

Bro, that was amazing. That is the best [ __ ] ever. Ethan said, "Back in my day,

[ __ ] ever. Ethan said, "Back in my day, dude, that [ __ ] killed me." Oh [ __ ]

dude, that [ __ ] killed me." Oh [ __ ] there's a lot OF COPS COMING.

there's a lot OF COPS COMING. [ __ ] PIGS.

[ __ ] PIGS. ARE YOU READY? ARE YOU READY?

ARE YOU READY? ARE YOU READY? I was BORN READY.

I was BORN READY. [ __ ] YOU PIGS. [laughter]

[ __ ] YOU PIGS. [laughter] YEAH, [ __ ] the pigs.

YEAH, [ __ ] the pigs. I'm going to turn y'all into [ __ ]

I'm going to turn y'all into [ __ ] bacon, [ __ ] Suck my cocking balls.

bacon, [ __ ] Suck my cocking balls. We have uh hostages.

We have uh hostages. Yeah, we got a hostage and you're going

Yeah, we got a hostage and you're going to GIVE US A MILLION DOLLARS.

to GIVE US A MILLION DOLLARS. [screaming]

[screaming] YEAH,

YEAH, GIVING YOU A MILLION DOLLARS, [laughter]

GIVING YOU A MILLION DOLLARS, [laughter] BUDDY.

BUDDY. A million dollars right now.

A million dollars right now. 1 million.

1 million. Show me the hostage. one in $2 bills.

Show me the hostage. one in $2 bills. How about I show you my [ __ ] Give me

How about I show you my [ __ ] Give me a million dollars right now. Don't you

a million dollars right now. Don't you make any funny moves, [ __ ]

make any funny moves, [ __ ] What are you going to do with that SMG,

What are you going to do with that SMG, pal? You're not going to do

pal? You're not going to do I'm going to peg you with it. I'm going

I'm going to peg you with it. I'm going to peg you with it. I'm going to peg

to peg you with it. I'm going to peg you. Look, a lot better. I'm going to

you. Look, a lot better. I'm going to peg you with it. Now that you're fake

peg you with it. Now that you're fake demand out of the way, what's your real

demand out of the way, what's your real demand?

demand? Uh, a small loan of a million dollars.

Uh, a small loan of a million dollars. Listen, for sure. They're torturing me

Listen, for sure. They're torturing me inside.

inside. How about this? Rob, here's what I'll do

How about this? Rob, here's what I'll do for you. I'll put you in my cop car,

for you. I'll put you in my cop car, take you to DLC, and I'll let you meet

take you to DLC, and I'll let you meet all the big the big wet willy boys.

all the big the big wet willy boys. Or you drop $1 million for my friends

Or you drop $1 million for my friends here.

here. I'm not giving you a million dollars.

I'm not giving you a million dollars. Well, that's just unfortunate, isn't it?

Well, that's just unfortunate, isn't it? Trippy three.

Trippy three. Keep your [ __ ] see what happens, bro.

Keep your [ __ ] see what happens, bro. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What the [ __ ]

What the [ __ ] I KILLED HIM.

I KILLED HIM. I KILLED WE KILLED HIM. WE KILLED HIM.

I KILLED WE KILLED HIM. WE KILLED HIM. [laughter]

HOLY [ __ ] [laughter] I'm dead as hell,

I'm dead as hell, DUDE. I'M KILLING NO, MY GAME CRASHED,

DUDE. I'M KILLING NO, MY GAME CRASHED, DUDE. I WAS KILLING EVERYONE AND THEN

DUDE. I WAS KILLING EVERYONE AND THEN THEY [ __ ] kicked me.

THEY [ __ ] kicked me. Oh my god.

Oh my god. Yeah, I just killed so many people,

Yeah, I just killed so many people, [laughter] dude.

[laughter] dude. Dude, the the shooting is still

Dude, the the shooting is still happening. Oh my god. I'm in the

happening. Oh my god. I'm in the hospital. Holy [ __ ] [ __ ] [snorts] That

hospital. Holy [ __ ] [ __ ] [snorts] That was [ __ ] crazy. I'm going to jail.

was [ __ ] crazy. I'm going to jail. [screaming]

[screaming] We all know Sue, you should already be

We all know Sue, you should already be in there. He got you with that one.

in there. He got you with that one. Hey, unique killer. Prank call your

Hey, unique killer. Prank call your local Olive Garden.

local Olive Garden. All right.

All right. Tell them you want an extremely small

Tell them you want an extremely small bread stick. Microscopic. Tell them you

bread stick. Microscopic. Tell them you want a year supply of Kool-Aid or you're

want a year supply of Kool-Aid or you're going to hold everyone hostage in their

going to hold everyone hostage in their restaurant. [laughter]

restaurant. [laughter] Don't tell them.

Don't tell them. Make sure to leave your name and number,

Make sure to leave your name and number, too.

too. Don't actually do that.

Don't actually do that. Catering orders. Press one.

Catering orders. Press one. Hey, can I order uh a very small bread

Hey, can I order uh a very small bread stick? Yes, but I can't ring it up right

stick? Yes, but I can't ring it up right now. There's a person ahead of you.

now. There's a person ahead of you. Okay.

All right. You're a dick. Wow, that was that was

Wow, that was that was Holy [ __ ] That was good. Amazing. Thank

Holy [ __ ] That was good. Amazing. Thank you so much for doing that for me. If

you so much for doing that for me. If you want things done right, you got to

you want things done right, you got to do them your goddamn self.

do them your goddamn self. Thank you for calling Olive Garden. And

Thank you for calling Olive Garden. And hey there. Can I place a to- go order?

hey there. Can I place a to- go order? Yes, you can. What's the first name?

Yes, you can. What's the first name? Dave,

Dave, the phone number.

the phone number. Uh, the phone number is 405

Uh, the phone number is 405 9325.

9325. All righty. And what color and type of

All righty. And what color and type of vehicle are you picking up in?

vehicle are you picking up in? I'm going to be picking it up in an

I'm going to be picking it up in an 18-wheeler.

18-wheeler. It's a white truck. Is that what you

It's a white truck. Is that what you said?

said? That's right.

That's right. All righty. What can I get for you?

All righty. What can I get for you? Can I get a really small bread stick?

Can I get a really small bread stick? A really small bread stick? Yeah, like

A really small bread stick? Yeah, like microscopic bread stick. I want a bread

microscopic bread stick. I want a bread stick molecule. [laughter]

stick molecule. [laughter] If that was possible, I could give it to

If that was possible, I could give it to you. But we only have one regular size

you. But we only have one regular size bread stick.

bread stick. You can't just pick off a few crumbs and

You can't just pick off a few crumbs and break them down.

break them down. Oh, we can actually if that's what you

Oh, we can actually if that's what you want.

want. I just want a few little crumbs and just

I just want a few little crumbs and just atomize a bread stick.

atomize a bread stick. Anything else for you? Just one bread

Anything else for you? Just one bread stick.

stick. Do you guys have an atomizer in the

Do you guys have an atomizer in the back? [laughter]

back? [laughter] No, we don't. [sighs]

Hecking darn it. Do you guys have any extra large mommy milk or milkshakes in

extra large mommy milk or milkshakes in [laughter] there?

[laughter] there? Nope.

Nope. Anything else or anything?

Anything else or anything? Do you guys have any battle passes in

Do you guys have any battle passes in there?

there? No.

No. You don't have any Olive Garden battle

You don't have any Olive Garden battle passes? [laughter]

passes? [laughter] No.

No. What if I bring in all my V-Bucks?

What if I bring in all my V-Bucks? [laughter]

[laughter] Sir, would you like to place a pickle

Sir, would you like to place a pickle order?

order? I'm telling you my order, sweetie.

I'm telling you my order, sweetie. Would you like any pasta? Possibly.

Would you like any pasta? Possibly. Pasta. Can I get a microscopic noodle?

Pasta. Can I get a microscopic noodle? [laughter]

No. Why did she talk to you for that

Why did she talk to you for that [laughter] long?

[laughter] long? Sounded like she liked it a lot at the

Sounded like she liked it a lot at the beginning.

beginning. Yeah, she's like,

Yeah, she's like, "Okay, Jacob, Jacob, Jacob, Jacob,

"Okay, Jacob, Jacob, Jacob, Jacob, Jacob, Jacob, Jacob. Don't put him in

Jacob, Jacob, Jacob. Don't put him in isolation. Put him in the cell over

isolation. Put him in the cell over here. I want to have a child. Put me in

here. I want to have a child. Put me in the cell, brother.

the cell, brother. [laughter]

[laughter] I want A GODDAMN [screaming]

I want A GODDAMN [screaming] LAWYER. RIGHT, JACOB? Leave me.

LAWYER. RIGHT, JACOB? Leave me. What is going on?

What is going on? Let me have a chat with you.

Let me have a chat with you. Don't unlock the bloody fail. Oh god.

Don't unlock the bloody fail. Oh god. Why did you do that? [laughter]

Why did you do that? [laughter] I got out again. I RAN OUT. [screaming]

I got out again. I RAN OUT. [screaming] I'M OUT. I'M [laughter] [ __ ] OUT.

I'M OUT. I'M [laughter] [ __ ] OUT. Where can I go? I'm running out of this

Where can I go? I'm running out of this [ __ ]

[ __ ] A sponge.

A sponge. Oh no. [laughter]

Oh no. [laughter] Right. Okay. I've got him. I've got him.

Right. Okay. I've got him. I've got him. God damn it. Oh, I almost escaped.

God damn it. Oh, I almost escaped. Ah, Jimmy, why can't JET FUEL MELT STEEL

Ah, Jimmy, why can't JET FUEL MELT STEEL BEAMS? Jimmy [laughter]

show about my Well, Billy, I'll tell you all about the

Well, Billy, I'll tell you all about the conspiracy theories now.

conspiracy theories now. Why did they take the tweet trillion

Why did they take the tweet trillion dollars from the Pentagon the day

dollars from the Pentagon the day before? [laughter]

That's a great question, BLUE. [laughter]

WOW. We found a conspiracy clue. Blue. Well, according to Hillary's leaked

Well, according to Hillary's leaked emails, [laughter]

imagine that Blue leaves the house, comes back with her emails. [laughter]

comes back with her emails. [laughter] We deleted a letter. We deleted a

We deleted a letter. We deleted a letter.

letter. Hillary deleted a [laughter] letter.

Hillary deleted a [laughter] letter. I wonder who it's from.

I wonder who it's from. VLADIMIR.

[laughter] DEAREST HILLARY, I loved it when you and

DEAREST HILLARY, I loved it when you and Bill chopped that pine cone up my

Bill chopped that pine cone up my [ __ ]

[ __ ] Dear Clinton Foundation, I love what you

Dear Clinton Foundation, I love what you are doing with human trafficking. You

are doing with human trafficking. You are changing the industry from the

are changing the industry from the ground up. Much love.

ground up. Much love. Keep it up. [laughter]

Keep it up. [laughter] The fact that you managed to bury Pizza

The fact that you managed to bury Pizza Gate is so incredible.

Gate is so incredible. Pizza.

Pizza. Me and my friend Osama love your work.

Me and my friend Osama love your work. Please keep it up. Dear Trump, we found

Please keep it up. Dear Trump, we found the V-Bucks in the Mara Lago. Thank you

the V-Bucks in the Mara Lago. Thank you so much. [laughter]

so much. [laughter] It was a pleasure doing business with

It was a pleasure doing business with you.

[laughter] That's amazing.

That's amazing. Oh my god. Thank you for the Airbnb

Oh my god. Thank you for the Airbnb experience in Florida. It was fantastic.

experience in Florida. It was fantastic. [laughter]

Donald was a fantastic host. Five stars. would [ __ ] his wife again. Very good. He

would [ __ ] his wife again. Very good. He gave us so many filing cabinets full of

gave us so many filing cabinets full of V-Bucks for the trip home.

V-Bucks for the trip home. It was a pleasure staying. [laughter]

It was a pleasure staying. [laughter] Dude, that's so funny.

Dude, that's so funny. It was an Airbnb. [laughter]

It was an Airbnb. [laughter] That's amazing.

That's amazing. Disclosed in the brown envelope located

Disclosed in the brown envelope located under the couch. We

under the couch. We No, you just stay there. YOU'LL BE FINE.

No, you just stay there. YOU'LL BE FINE. NO, NO, NO, NO. LET ME GET MY CAR.

[laughter] BOY, MY [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] up.

BOY, MY [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] up. Watch this. Look at all these people.

Oh [ __ ] [laughter] Oh my god. I flashed myself again. I

Oh my god. I flashed myself again. I can't see [ __ ] This is [ __ ]

can't see [ __ ] This is [ __ ] dude. Why is there so many people?

dude. Why is there so many people? I don't know, but stay light right here.

I don't know, but stay light right here. Watch this. [laughter]

Watch this. [laughter] Yo, he has to flash me. I see it. I see

Yo, he has to flash me. I see it. I see it. I see it.

[laughter] [ __ ] you guys, bro.

[ __ ] you guys, bro. Look at all these people.

Look at all these people. Oh my god.

Oh my god. Look, they're all on the ground.

Look, they're all on the ground. These guys are calling staff. We're

These guys are calling staff. We're [ __ ]

[ __ ] It's the guy. It's this guy. It's this

It's the guy. It's this guy. It's this guy. It's this guy. It's this guy. Bro,

guy. It's this guy. It's this guy. Bro, I ain't even got him. Little [ __ ]

I ain't even got him. Little [ __ ] It's this guy, bro. It's this guy. It's

It's this guy, bro. It's this guy. It's this guy.

this guy. It's the [ __ ] squeaker throwing them.

It's the [ __ ] squeaker throwing them. He's shooting people and throwing

He's shooting people and throwing [laughter] them.

[laughter] them. Yo. Yo, bro.

Yo. Yo, bro. Bro, why you using flashbangs, bro?

Bro, why you using flashbangs, bro? It's the squeaker. It's a little

It's the squeaker. It's a little squeaker throwing them. He's probably

squeaker throwing them. He's probably got

got a [ __ ] flash.

a [ __ ] flash. He's probably got a J tag, too. Is this

He's probably got a J tag, too. Is this guy in the

guy in the No. Oh, now I'm pulled. What the [ __ ] is

No. Oh, now I'm pulled. What the [ __ ] is going on here?

going on here? Hey, what the [ __ ] is Hey, who the [ __ ]

Hey, what the [ __ ] is Hey, who the [ __ ] are you? Get the [ __ ] away from me.

are you? Get the [ __ ] away from me. Yummy. Look. [laughter]

Yummy. Look. [laughter] Start throwing flashbangs from up here.

Start throwing flashbangs from up here. All right, but why were you Why did you

All right, but why were you Why did you keep throwing flashbangs?

keep throwing flashbangs? It wasn't me. I didn't mean to.

It wasn't me. I didn't mean to. [laughter]

[laughter] It wasn't me. I did it.

It wasn't me. I did it. I didn't know I got pulled. I'm sorry

I didn't know I got pulled. I'm sorry about that.

about that. Piss your [ __ ]

Piss your [ __ ] I didn't know I got pulled.

I didn't know I got pulled. [ __ ] [laughter] MY [ __ ] IS

HOW DID THEY GET ME FROM UP HERE? I [ __ ]

[ __ ] I can't see anything, man. Stop throwing

I can't see anything, man. Stop throwing them [ __ ]

them [ __ ] Great. [laughter]

Great. [laughter] Stop throwing them, man. What the [ __ ]

Stop throwing them, man. What the [ __ ] That's you, [ __ ]

That's you, [ __ ] That's you throwing them. What? Why am I

That's you throwing them. What? Why am I floating here, man? This is stupid [ __ ]

floating here, man? This is stupid [ __ ] What?

What? See, look at that. I'm getting getting

See, look at that. I'm getting getting [ __ ] RDM in the air.

[ __ ] RDM in the air. It's actually Shoot. Yeah, it's actually

It's actually Shoot. Yeah, it's actually sub. Just check conditions. All right.

sub. Just check conditions. All right. All right, Mr.

All right, Mr. What the [ __ ] are you guys talking

What the [ __ ] are you guys talking about? Revive me. Let me go. This is

about? Revive me. Let me go. This is dumb.

dumb. Listen, listen. I know. I know that you

Listen, listen. I know. I know that you have staff farms on here, so I'll just,

have staff farms on here, so I'll just, you know, quickly unfreeze you.

you know, quickly unfreeze you. All right. I just grenade though.

All right. I just grenade though. Please.

Please. You're throwing flashbangs. You keep

You're throwing flashbangs. You keep wait.

wait. [laughter]

I saw it at the top of my screen. YOU [ __ ]

[ __ ] OH MY GOD. Threw your [ __ ] monkey arm

OH MY GOD. Threw your [ __ ] monkey arm out and threw a flash [laughter]

out and threw a flash [laughter] [ __ ] I'm getting pulled by like

[ __ ] I'm getting pulled by like three staff members. What What is going

three staff members. What What is going on [laughter] on this server?

on [laughter] on this server? I'm I'm under the map. Help me. I'm

I'm I'm under the map. Help me. I'm swimming. Hello. Can I go for a ride on

swimming. Hello. Can I go for a ride on your go-kart, Mr. Level 10,000? Five

your go-kart, Mr. Level 10,000? Five Nights at Freddy's role player.

Nights at Freddy's role player. Jesus [ __ ] Christ. You look like

Jesus [ __ ] Christ. You look like you're banned at every public park in

you're banned at every public park in America. And

America. And you're [ __ ] mentally [ __ ] man.

you're [ __ ] mentally [ __ ] man. You're You're mentally [ __ ] Simple

You're You're mentally [ __ ] Simple as that. [laughter]

as that. [laughter] Sweet.

Sweet. So [ __ ] cool, man. Please let me go

So [ __ ] cool, man. Please let me go for a RIDE IN YOUR GO-KART.

for a RIDE IN YOUR GO-KART. OH, I GOT IT.

OH, I GOT IT. [laughter]

[laughter] What the [ __ ] You stole his go-kart.

What the [ __ ] You stole his go-kart. Oh my god,

Oh my god, bro. I'm in the go-kart.

bro. I'm in the go-kart. I see that,

I see that, dude. You're just tweaking it out.

dude. You're just tweaking it out. Yeah, apparently he Oh my god.

Yeah, apparently he Oh my god. What is this death screen?

What is this death screen? I'll put you back together.

I'll put you back together. Beautiful.

Beautiful. Try not to child. Yes.

Try not to child. Yes. I bet you love that.

I bet you love that. You connect them.

You connect them. What is the [ __ ] death screen?

What is the [ __ ] death screen? [laughter]

[laughter] What is the [ __ ] death screen, bro?

What is the [ __ ] death screen, bro? It is so cursed.

It is so cursed. This server [ __ ] sucks, [ __ ]

This server [ __ ] sucks, [ __ ] That level a thousand is definitely the

That level a thousand is definitely the owner.

owner. Yeah, no [ __ ] He's the [ __ ] owner.

Yeah, no [ __ ] He's the [ __ ] owner. Who the Who the hell else would be level

Who the Who the hell else would be level 1,000 on this dog [ __ ]

1,000 on this dog [ __ ] You think that's how many children he's

You think that's how many children he's touched? I'm sorry. [laughter]

touched? I'm sorry. [laughter] Big fan of you guys. I'm gonna buy you a

Big fan of you guys. I'm gonna buy you a pack of hot dogs.

pack of hot dogs. [laughter]

[laughter] Every shirt that gets shipped out gets a

Every shirt that gets shipped out gets a bag of hot dogs.

bag of hot dogs. Every merch drop I have, I just fill the

Every merch drop I have, I just fill the bags with [ __ ] chili. [laughter]

[ __ ] chili. [laughter] I'm about to hit this weed

[laughter] I'm about to hit this weed pin.

pin. [screaming]

[screaming] [laughter]

[laughter] Just hits you instantly.

Just hits you instantly. You start blasting off. What if you had

You start blasting off. What if you had a weed pin and this dude was like, "Hey,

a weed pin and this dude was like, "Hey, let me hit that." And you handed it to

let me hit that." And you handed it to him. He was just like, "Motherfucker,

him. He was just like, "Motherfucker, [laughter] beating the [ __ ] up.

Defend the targets against doing your mom." What does that mean? You see

mom." What does that mean? You see [laughter] that?

Wait, wait, wait. [laughter] Is this an Xbox COD lobby or something?

Is this an Xbox COD lobby or something? We lost all of our stars, too. We

We lost all of our stars, too. We Yeah, we unlocked the secret mission,

Yeah, we unlocked the secret mission, bro. [laughter]

I would have glossed over that if you hadn't said that. [laughter]

I didn't even We lost all of our wanted stars. Enough to protect our mom from

stars. Enough to protect our mom from getting [ __ ] [laughter]

getting [ __ ] [laughter] Where's our mom at? We need to go.

Where's our mom at? We need to go. I have two dads. I'm not even worried.

I have two dads. I'm not even worried. Friendly. Oh, there's people there. I

Friendly. Oh, there's people there. I bet they're nice.

bet they're nice. Definitely not the bloods or anything.

Definitely not the bloods or anything. Damn, Shy. How much you cost, sweetie?

Damn, Shy. How much you cost, sweetie? Hey, what's up, Spider-Man?

Hey, what's up, Spider-Man? What you here for, bro? I'm here to meet

What you here for, bro? I'm here to meet Spider-Man or uh Deadpool. My bad.

Spider-Man or uh Deadpool. My bad. Deadpool. That's the one.

Deadpool. That's the one. He was not funny, bro.

He was not funny, bro. Thanks. Appreciate it.

Thanks. Appreciate it. I mean, if you ain't here to get

I mean, if you ain't here to get recruited or none of that, then go.

recruited or none of that, then go. I'm here to see Deadpool.

I'm here to see Deadpool. That [ __ ] hilarious. [laughter]

That [ __ ] hilarious. [laughter] What the hell you doing in here, you

What the hell you doing in here, you cracker ass [ __ ]

Oh, I'm here to I'm here to join the Bloods and get some chicken. I literally

Bloods and get some chicken. I literally joined. They invited me instantly. John

joined. They invited me instantly. John Obama.

Obama. Come here, John Obama. Oh [ __ ]

Come here, John Obama. Oh [ __ ] [laughter]

[laughter] Hold me close and tight, big mama.

Hold me close and tight, big mama. Let's go to the bedroom.

Let's go to the bedroom. Oh my god, you're turning me on.

Oh my god, you're turning me on. [laughter] What the [ __ ] is happening?

[laughter] What the [ __ ] is happening? Is this how you get jumped into the

Is this how you get jumped into the bloods nowadays?

bloods nowadays? It's a different kind of jumping, but

It's a different kind of jumping, but yeah,

yeah, it's not jumping anymore. It's just It's

it's not jumping anymore. It's just It's humping.

humping. It's only It's ONLY [laughter]

OH, YEAH. He's doing it. God damn. 2022 is the year to join the

God damn. 2022 is the year to join the blood.

blood. We call it the blood bump.

We call it the blood bump. The blood.

The blood. Hell yeah. We're taking this, [laughter]

Hell yeah. We're taking this, [laughter] bro. This is so scuffed,

bro. This is so scuffed, dude. This is like Brokeback Mountain.

dude. This is like Brokeback Mountain. [laughter]

[laughter] What the [ __ ]

What the [ __ ] We do a little humping and a little

We do a little humping and a little jumping. [laughter]

jumping. [laughter] God damn.

God damn. Yeah, bro. You're in bloods now. I'm

Yeah, bro. You're in bloods now. I'm officially in the game.

officially in the game. Oh, we could do a bit of a a gun store

Oh, we could do a bit of a a gun store robbery and let you guys uh a little bit

robbery and let you guys uh a little bit of negotiating or something.

of negotiating or something. [ __ ] yeah. Let's do it, man. What's up?

[ __ ] yeah. Let's do it, man. What's up? What do you mean what's up, bro?

What do you mean what's up, bro? You fellas looking for a good time?

You fellas looking for a good time? No. You get out of my face.

No. You get out of my face. Let me show you some of my moves, baby

Let me show you some of my moves, baby girl.

girl. Uh, let's not, bro. I'm not a girl. Get

Uh, let's not, bro. I'm not a girl. Get the [ __ ] out my face, Nick.

the [ __ ] out my face, Nick. Yeah, look at this, baby.

Yeah, look at this, baby. Bro, I tell you what.

Bro, I tell you what. Well, you don't like these moves, baby

Well, you don't like these moves, baby girl.

girl. Neique, bro. Like, what the are you

Neique, bro. Like, what the are you doing? You look Meek, right?

doing? You look Meek, right? I think this guy has a crush on. All

I think this guy has a crush on. All right. As long as he's not on your car,

right. As long as he's not on your car, there's no issue,

there's no issue, bro. He's literally dancing in front of

bro. He's literally dancing in front of me, calling me baby girl. I've asked him

me, calling me baby girl. I've asked him three times not to call me baby girl.

three times not to call me baby girl. Stop. [laughter]

Stop. [laughter] I think she has a crush on me.

I think she has a crush on me. She Bro, I'm going to knock this [ __ ]

She Bro, I'm going to knock this [ __ ] out.

out. Don't try and fight your feelings for

Don't try and fight your feelings for me. Come on now.

me. Come on now. [laughter]

[laughter] [ __ ] [ __ ]

[ __ ] [ __ ] Hey, sexy. I'm back. Toss me a dollar,

Hey, sexy. I'm back. Toss me a dollar, big mama. Don't let this guy bother you.

big mama. Don't let this guy bother you. He just has a crush on me. He's all

He just has a crush on me. He's all worked up. He don't know how to contain

worked up. He don't know how to contain his feelings.

his feelings. All right. See you, bro. [laughter]

All right. See you, bro. [laughter] Hey, this guy's just upset cuz he has a

Hey, this guy's just upset cuz he has a crush on me. He's upset.

crush on me. He's upset. How about you take off them pants and

How about you take off them pants and let me suck that [ __ ] What you say,

let me suck that [ __ ] What you say, bro? You see why you see why I punched

bro? You see why you see why I punched him up, bro? I'm talking about sucking

him up, bro? I'm talking about sucking his dick and stuff, bro. What the [ __ ]

his dick and stuff, bro. What the [ __ ] Talking about sucking your dick, baby.

Talking about sucking your dick, baby. Nah, bro. Stay away, bro, before I punch

Nah, bro. Stay away, bro, before I punch you up again.

you up again. You think I'm scared of you? I like it

You think I'm scared of you? I like it when you hit me. Scared me, bro.

when you hit me. Scared me, bro. It feels good when you punch me. Stop

It feels good when you punch me. Stop talking to me, bro. That's

talking to me, bro. That's Be mean to me. Spank me, baby girl.

Be mean to me. Spank me, baby girl. Spank me,

Spank me, bro. You are some fruity don, bro.

bro. You are some fruity don, bro. [laughter]

[laughter] You got a problem with Fruity Donso.

You got a problem with Fruity Donso. This guy, he's just scared of his

This guy, he's just scared of his feelings, man. Hey, you there, Afro

feelings, man. Hey, you there, Afro [ __ ] You're a [ __ ] Do you hear me?

[ __ ] You're a [ __ ] Do you hear me? You are a [ __ ]

You are a [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] alert. We got a [ __ ]

[ __ ] [ __ ] alert. We got a [ __ ] alert. He's [ __ ] and he won't let me

alert. He's [ __ ] and he won't let me suck his penis. He's [ __ ]

suck his penis. He's [ __ ] No, cuz you're punching. You're You're

No, cuz you're punching. You're You're killing people in a green zone. You're

killing people in a green zone. You're killing people in a green zone.

killing people in a green zone. I'm glad you got that clown makeup on

I'm glad you got that clown makeup on cuz you're a clown, [ __ ] [ __ ] You're

cuz you're a clown, [ __ ] [ __ ] You're a clown.

a clown. Just let me suck that [ __ ] and I'll be

Just let me suck that [ __ ] and I'll be on my way.

on my way. How about you let me clown makeup off of

How about you let me clown makeup off of you, baby. Come on.

you, baby. Come on. Wait. Get money, gang, bro. Get money,

Wait. Get money, gang, bro. Get money, gang. Get [laughter]

gang. Get [laughter] Oh. Oh, okay. So, [ __ ] the [ __ ] you

Oh. Oh, okay. So, [ __ ] the [ __ ] you doing, [ __ ]

doing, [ __ ] Let me suck that penis. He wants me to

Let me suck that penis. He wants me to suck it. Come here. Come here. He wants

suck it. Come here. Come here. He wants me to suck it so bad.

me to suck it so bad. Come here. Come here. Come here.

Come here. Come here. Come here. Hey, Craig. These guys want us to show

Hey, Craig. These guys want us to show them a good time. This guy with the

them a good time. This guy with the clown makeup wants to have a good time.

clown makeup wants to have a good time. Oh, I want to have a good time.

Oh, I want to have a good time. This guy right here, Craig. This guy

This guy right here, Craig. This guy right here wants it. Hey, I brought my

right here wants it. Hey, I brought my buddy for you, Mr. Clown Makeup. I know

buddy for you, Mr. Clown Makeup. I know you want to tag team us. So, here's my

you want to tag team us. So, here's my other gay boyfriend.

other gay boyfriend. Let me suck your dick.

Let me suck your dick. That thing.

Let me suck your dick, clown makeup, [ __ ]

[ __ ] That ass. [laughter]

You like my friend more than me or what? You can grab him by his hair. I ain't

You can grab him by his hair. I ain't got no hair on my head. Is no one

got no hair on my head. Is no one talking trippy?

talking trippy? Yeah, no one's talking. So [laughter]

Yeah, no one's talking. So [laughter] awkward.

awkward. What the hell? Hell yeah. Marcus, if you

What the hell? Hell yeah. Marcus, if you Bro, I tell you what, this Donna, bro,

Bro, I tell you what, this Donna, bro, if you're talking about if you're

if you're talking about if you're talking about green zone [ __ ] bro, why

talking about green zone [ __ ] bro, why you doing sex animations in a green

you doing sex animations in a green zone, bro?

zone, bro? Shut the hell up. God damn.

Shut the hell up. God damn. You want to speak to me about rules,

You want to speak to me about rules, bro? There's your

bro? There's your [laughter]

[laughter] I'm sorry your father never loved you,

I'm sorry your father never loved you, but god damn.

but god damn. Talking about my father, bro,

Talking about my father, bro, cuz it's very apparent that he never

cuz it's very apparent that he never showed you any attention. Your father

showed you any attention. Your father gave me all the attention and never

gave me all the attention and never showed you anything. I just explained it

showed you anything. I just explained it in the Queen's English.

in the Queen's English. Okay, so now you're being ra Okay, bro.

Okay, so now you're being ra Okay, bro. Okay,

Okay, I'm being racist. [laughter]

I'm being racist. [laughter] THIS GUY'S [ __ ] [ __ ]

THIS GUY'S [ __ ] [ __ ] WHY are you speak Why are you speaking

WHY are you speak Why are you speaking about my family though, bro? What the

about my family though, bro? What the [ __ ] What's [laughter] What's my

[ __ ] What's [laughter] What's my Explain the comment about my father,

Explain the comment about my father, bro? Explain it, please. Fast.

bro? Explain it, please. Fast. Your father [ __ ] me in my [ __ ] Do I

Your father [ __ ] me in my [ __ ] Do I need to say it any slower for you? Pa

need to say it any slower for you? Pa brain [ __ ]

brain [ __ ] It's not a P brain, it's a T brain, bro.

It's not a P brain, it's a T brain, bro. [sighs]

[sighs] [laughter]

[laughter] Half a melon to them. I'm going to I'm

Half a melon to them. I'm going to I'm going to suggest

going to suggest you getting your ass whooped, dude. What

you getting your ass whooped, dude. What you going to do about it? I did the damn

you going to do about it? I did the damn thing. [laughter]

thing. [laughter] Oh [ __ ] I hit Marcus. Sorry about that,

Oh [ __ ] I hit Marcus. Sorry about that, Marcus.

Marcus. He's coming after you. Oh, you're

He's coming after you. Oh, you're [ __ ] Trippy hit him. [laughter]

[ __ ] Trippy hit him. [laughter] Trippy hit him. Trippy hit him. That's

Trippy hit him. Trippy hit him. That's right, [ __ ] You want to get tagged

right, [ __ ] You want to get tagged him? Isn't that what you wanted?

him? Isn't that what you wanted? [laughter]

Don't go anywhere. None of you go anywhere. None of you go anywhere. None

anywhere. None of you go anywhere. None of you go.

[laughter] Right. And off and off and off and off

Right. And off and off and off and off and off.

and off. I'm stuck. My car is stuck. Dude, he was

I'm stuck. My car is stuck. Dude, he was getting so mad. No, no, none of that.

getting so mad. No, no, none of that. None of that. Oh, see about my family,

None of that. Oh, see about my family, bro. No, no, no. I don't need to go

bro. No, no, no. I don't need to go anywhere. None of you going anywhere.

anywhere. None of you going anywhere. He's so mad, dude. He was so Dude, you

He's so mad, dude. He was so Dude, you didn't hear him. But he was like

didn't hear him. But he was like genuinely pissed talking. He's like,

genuinely pissed talking. He's like, "Don't talk about my family, bro. You

"Don't talk about my family, bro. You stay right here. You stay right here."

stay right here. You stay right here." He was getting so mad.

He was getting so mad. He's like, "You guys got to get me out

He's like, "You guys got to get me out of here. I'm going to kill this guy.

of here. I'm going to kill this guy. Swear gold."

Swear gold." That definitely deserves a like on the

That definitely deserves a like on the video for sure.

video for sure. Dude, that was amazing.

How are you alive, MAN?

MAN? [laughter]

[laughter] DUDE, IT'S SO [ __ ] LOUD.

JUST STARTING a [ __ ] shoot out of the PD.

Oh, we I killed you. Holy [ __ ] dude. Uh-oh.

Uh-oh. That's a war crime. [laughter] He said

That's a war crime. [laughter] He said that's a war crime.

Dude, we are just bombing this server. How are we still in the server?

How are we still in the server? ATM gas is so [ __ ]

ATM gas is so [ __ ] Oh, I'm holding [laughter] it.

Oh, I'm holding [laughter] it. I put a breaching charge on the door and

I put a breaching charge on the door and blew it off. Bro, I don't think it can

blew it off. Bro, I don't think it can get much worse than this, actually. All

get much worse than this, actually. All right, bro. I think Do an outro,

right, bro. I think Do an outro, [laughter] please. We gassed the whole

[laughter] please. We gassed the whole police station, dude. [laughter] That's

police station, dude. [laughter] That's the title right there. Oh my god. All

the title right there. Oh my god. All right, if you guys want to see more

right, if you guys want to see more Gmod, please be sure to let us know by

Gmod, please be sure to let us know by leaving a like and subscribing. We had a

leaving a like and subscribing. We had a great time doing this. Let us know if

great time doing this. Let us know if you want to see us do it again.

you want to see us do it again. [laughter] Oh my god, it's still carnage

[laughter] Oh my god, it's still carnage inside.

inside. [music] F don't give a [ __ ] Pack a f

[music] F don't give a [ __ ] Pack a f and I don't give a [music] [ __ ] Pack a

and I don't give a [music] [ __ ] Pack a bad lip. Don't give a [ __ ] Pack a bad

bad lip. Don't give a [ __ ] Pack a bad [music] lip and I don't give a [ __ ]

[music] lip and I don't give a [ __ ] Well, I traed my Gucci for a can of dip,

Well, I traed my Gucci for a can of dip, but I still [music] use my sister for

but I still [music] use my sister for that sexual relationship. Two can kiss

that sexual relationship. Two can kiss my HONKY ASS. I GOT ALL THEIR MONEY AND

my HONKY ASS. I GOT ALL THEIR MONEY AND THEY AIN'T GETTING IT BACK. SUPPORT MY

THEY AIN'T GETTING IT BACK. SUPPORT MY [music] CHANNEL BY clicking that like.

[music] CHANNEL BY clicking that like. IF YOU DON'T ENJOY THIS COUNTRY [ __ ]

IF YOU DON'T ENJOY THIS COUNTRY [ __ ] THEN TAKE A [ __ ] HIGH.

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