Conan O'Brien Talks About Jay Leno | Letterman | Letterman

our first guest uh has his own television  program a very funny show uh it's uh  

over there on the tbs it's called conan and that's  the guy who's coming out here and he's going to be  

taking his show on the road from los angeles  to california to chicago rather the week of  

june 11th ladies and gentlemen please welcome  back our good friend conan o'brien cook thank you

how are you welcome back

oh

i think the longer we just sit here  the more uncomfortable it will make jay

you know jay's watching right now you know he's

he's getting a live feed in a satellite truck  right now he is watching every second yeah

dave looks unhappy yeah

he's going to pack it in soon man yeah you um  

um i i know from your perspective  yeah and that was all i had to do

i know from your perspective it was  difficult uh what are we talking about now  

the uh you know when you decided to go to  tbs and all of that and you took our show  

and did a great job there then you had the  tonight show did a great job there and then

some kind of a mix-up

i really don't recall how do you feel a long  time how do you feel now on the other side  

of all of that you got to feel great you got  to i feel i i feel uh terrific i really do uh  

you know all i ever wanted to do was i mean i'm  very lucky to get to go on television and to do  

my thing my way and tbs lets me do whatever  i want they don't watch it they don't care

checks come in they're not  watching no no that's the magic  

um and i i have a great time i you know  we took all of our people with us so  

everybody is happy and uh i so i'm thrilled it  worked out and uh i'm a lucky person so i uh  

uh and forgive me for making this all  about me but that's kind of what i do  

uh i was i was delighted by everything  that happened except you losing your job  

i i will tell you

i will tell you and this is  honest the only consolation i took  

during that period was that you were happy

it was really it was humanitarian  i i did i felt this is a this is uh  

he sometimes dave seems a tad unhappy in his life  uh and if this is bringing you some measure of joy  

then to hell with my career  yeah no let me explain myself

i knew you would be just fine yeah i can  forage for food no no i i don't think that  

was ever going to be a question i can catch  animals and eat them i knew i'd be all right  

but you were happy i was happy for you and let me  just let me illustrate this i've known jay a long  

long time we go back to the mid-70s back in los  angeles at the comedy store jay was always the guy  

the funniest guy he was the guy he was the guy  you'd go to see he was the guy you wished you  

could be more like he was funny he was also a  bit of a brat a bit of a brat uh and so then um  

oh you know when this came along i said to  myself oh yes this is the jay i know and i really  

and and i kind of you know i refer to that  period as the golden age of television really

the period when i lost the tonight show yes  that brief week and a half period for you  

is the golden age of broadcasting that's right  but it has has nothing to do with you then i'm

then i'm contented this um and people this  is a silly question i'll ask it anyway  

any moments of genuine amusement during that  ordeal yes uh i that's there were some there were  

moments when i was able to step outside my body  and see the absurdity of it all there was a uh  

i had the tonight show i believe on a on a friday  step down uh left the tonight show on monday  

we had things to figure out how to take  care of people how to get things you know  

how to dismantle this this mechanism and i had  uh i called my assistant i said we got to get  

together and she said we have no office so we went  to a marie calendar's restaurant in the valley

and it was empty i'm not kidding there's a marie  calendar in burbank and i went there with my  

assistant sona and she sat on one side and i sat  on the other and i'm barking you know this is what  

we're going to do see we're going to take care  of everyone yeah and we're going to do that we're  

going to do the next thing too and a woman came by  and said you didn't know or care who i was do you  

want one of our nine pies and i realized in that  moment the disparity between sitting behind the  

desk as the host of the tonight show on a friday  and being demoted to a table at marie calendars  

which by the way is a fine restaurant and it makes  a killer pie but i i i thought this is yes this is  

and uh this is appropriate somehow this is  not everyone would agree that it's a demotion  

going from the tonight show to murray  calendars because as you can tell the pie

but but you've worked through you clearly were  using my experience to work through something  

i've had my own trouble i've had my own  lord knows i've had my share of trouble  

so when i saw other trouble right and again  it wasn't you're someone who's been in a  

car accident who passed another guy lying on  the road and said that's right that's right

i was in one of those ones let me it was  terrible let me return to my position here it was  

it was the delight of seeing now how many times  just between well between all of us how many  

times in your life have you seen a picture of jay  stopping by the side of the road to help elderly  

folks who have run out of gas or whose car has  caught fire who have lost a tire or something  

and there is jay being the good samaritan to  help out those people like like the aaa except  

the aaa doesn't bring a photographer that's the  only difference between jay and the triple a and  

and and i just i just thought oh and so for that  reason and other reasons i really enjoyed it and

have you have you spoken to anybody at nbc uh  no uh who in particular anyone come to mind  

no this is they're all gone  the people that i remember  

i think everyone involved in my situation uh  with maybe an exception is gone uh so there's  

no one there anymore that was there during my  nobody at the beginning of the crime yeah uh  

it's uh it's a whole different i'm told it's a  lovely group i wish them nothing but the best  

and uh put a polygraph on him uh and what about  your relationship with jay because you knew jay  

before uh he demanded that he get his show back  i was assured none of this would come up tonight

i was told we would discuss  our shared love of antiquing

um

our many wonderful vacations together i was  never informed that this would come up but  

uh what is your question again and you repeat  it as many times as you like we can get you  

we can get you in office at blimpies

trust me but i'm so insecure now in  my talk show jobs that i'm always  

eyeing tables at restaurants you just you  just you could go there you just i could  

be happy but you had a relationship with  jay before uh the felon felony took place

what was the relationship like with jay before  this occasional phone call and did you feel a  

kinship a camaraderie uh he's it's a busy world uh  i come from a large family no i would i would say  

uh up until this event uh we we didn't have  that much in common we're quite we're quite  

different fellows uh he and i i don't know why  i suddenly reverted to 19th century dictionary  

but uh he and i are are different and  and so we didn't have a lot to talk about  

in common right i don't own many  automobiles that were made before 1904

primarily of brass and leather uh  

and so i don't know what to do honestly yeah we're  going now we're getting someplace i don't know

there are there are very few ways and i don't i'm  not saying this in a disparaging tone at all there  

are very few ways in which he and i relate we're  not interested in i don't think in the same things  

right but nonetheless you had a bond via  nbc and your two late nights he was my  

lead in uh he was the host of the tonight  show i was the host of the late night show  

right and he they put him on at 10  o'clock and then that didn't work out  

and it was so then they said uh uh jay are you  busy and he said i know i just said working on  

my cars i could so he came back and they said  well go to your not doing their head wagon

give me an inner ear problem conan how long how  long did you do the late night program at nbc the  

late night program i believe i did it almost uh  maybe about 16 years 16 years paul and i did it  

before you for 12 12 and a half years so you're  the longest running host of that time period  

and before paul and i did it what was it paul it  was the tomorrow show with with tom snyder which  

was in its inception a tremendous show a brilliant  show yeah terrific riveting interviews with uh  

with john lyden from the sex pistols john lennon  yeah he did a lot of really nice stuff uh and now  

you're at tbs and and things are great there  you have a hit show on tbs and they leave you  

alone you get to do everything you want yeah  how's your family are they all settled and  

everything's good now family's terrific uh  lovely wife i have two kids i have a sick  

an eight-year-old boy and a six-year-old tell me  all about the eight-year-old because i have an  

eight-year-old i have an eight-year-old  girl nev and uh she's terrific she's a  

she is a very beautiful she's very smart  she's uh very quick to judge like me uh  

extremely judgmental and then i have a boy beckett  uh who is uh six and you've been through the boy  

phase where it's just all they're great and then  they dissolve into absolute tyrannical rages  

like like stalin they become stalin they  become insane dictators or within seconds if  

they haven't had their uh their food if their  blood sugar level falls below a certain point  

they'll kill me and all of you to get what  they want has the child actually taken a life  

we had the closest we came is i did a  event uh fort turner called christmas  

uh in washington and it's an event and i they said  that you perform for the the number of people in  

washington you also perform for uh the president  the first lady uh the vice president and uh and  

and it's this is a great thing and i said i'd love  to do this and they said you can bring the kids  

the wife and the children this is fantastic my  children will meet an american president so we go  

uh i go and i'm preparing for the event my  wife brings the children they lock it down  

for security reasons they just completely lock  it down and then they say okay before the event  

you're gonna get to meet and have your picture  taken with the president this is very exciting  

my kids are nicely dressed and my wife mentions  to me casually uh as we're getting in the line  

the children haven't eaten today and as any  parent will tell you you have that moment of  

just this isn't something i don't know i'm very  busy today i've got a show to do in front of the  

president but that concerns me i have some  concern dave and then we get on the line and  

we're ready and we've talked to the kids you say  hello mr president and the first lady and they've  

the boy's wearing his little tie and the girl's  wearing her nice dress and i'm wearing a dress  

and everything's fine and we're ready what we'll  get to that part we'll get to it it comes later  

and uh we're ready and and they say i hear  someone say uh president in five minutes we  

got president in five and things get really  quiet in the room there's a lot of people  

waiting to meet the president and all of a  sudden i just hear i don't like me about that

and i just say hey you know becca take it

and i start to get i look around and i just  see that they're they're like president  

in four minutes president four we got we got  potus in four and i'm really getting concerned  

so we start to try and reason with him and you've  been down this road and i'm like now back then

and then he just sits on the ground on  the red carpet and faces away from us  

and so if you've ever tried to pick up a child  who doesn't want to be picked up it's like  

picking up anti-matter with chopsticks you  can't do it so i'm trying to get him up  

and then this is an absolutely true story the  next person in line with us is mr justin bieber  

no joke i'm not kidding because he's one of the  performers at the show and so he reaches over and  

he thinks i got this i'm just yeah i'm justin  bieber he reaches over and handle this and i  

i see him going to pet my son and i kind of  want to stop it because i know where this is  

going but there's part of me that thinks no  let's see let's take a look let's enjoy this  

this is going to be good so he reaches he reaches  out and he touches my son's head and kind of  

gives him one of these like i'm justin bieber  it's going to be fine sorry he was leno for a  

second i'm just you know and uh he does that and  my son no joke uh whips around and says stop it

which is that's the appropriate response is  the appropriate absolutely the opponent and  

and so then he starts to dissolve even more we  don't know what to do when i start to say to my  

wife you've got to get him out of here and  my wife doesn't want to miss her chance to  

meet the president so she says no i think  he's going to be fine and i said he's not  

fine it's good meanwhile he's going to  he's like curly from the three stooges

so finally we open her purse we rummage through  it we find a half of a cracker we get it into him  

second slater i hear i was ready to tell the  secret service take him out if you have to  

if you have to you have my permission and then  at the last second the president comes and gets  

there we step up and i s he had the cracker  30 seconds before he and my son who's six is  

like mr president michelle what is that good to  see you how are you where does that come from

fantastic you pull that together that's my boy  good for you yeah that's a that's an impressive  

feat and congratulations the good for him the  kid knows when to pull it together yeah very  

impressive uh but for the summer do you have  time off will you be are you going to chicago  

we're going to chicago yeah we're at the chicago  theater where you took the late night show yeah we  

did it there and it was a fantastic facility  i love that as you know it's a great city a  

great town and the audiences will be absolutely  thrilled to have you there will you get time off  

to do fun stuff with the family as a unit uh  that was it what i just described that's uh  

that's time with my family so i learned my  lesson no uh you know i i i hope at some  

point i'm i'm coaching some i'm helping coach  i'm an assistant coach in t-ball now which is  

i don't know if you've done gone down that road  t-ball we're we're now into coach pitch but as  

i have described t-ball an inning of t-ball is  the most exciting three hours in sports yeah

when you see a six-year-old or a seven-year-old  or a five-year-old make a legitimate out  

feel the ball throw it to first and put someone  out it's like seeing the face of christ on toast  

i know it's it's miraculous yes actual play  happened other than that you might as well  

just duct tape some some uh some gloves  to cats and let them roam around the field  

my favorite thing is when someone when a kid does  connect when a kid does connect which is hilarious  

he connects with the ball and it goes out into  the outfield the kids don't run towards the ball  

they start randomly spinning yeah like they're  at a fish concert it's unbelievable all right  

now i will tell you the things get a little  better with coach pitch and a couple of weeks  

ago we're at a game and my son is playing  shortstop how old is your you're 8 years  

old 8 years old and he makes the play  uh and and as you know so please please  

if you're not going to make the play at least  let it hit you so it doesn't roll to the fence  

so he he grabs the ball as a kind of a heroic  stab at the shortstop there's nobody on base  

the runner is moving down to first base he picks  it up scoops it up cleanly and tosses it to third

so you get a it's starting to gel yeah  it's coming together it's starting to gel  

yeah uh is he good at the plate because that's  really all you need to worry about too you don't  

want the kid to embarrass himself at the plate  you know uh he uh he's he's actually quite good  

i watching t-ball have started to wish  that we i would love to see and maybe  

uh i don't have the resources to make this  happen but you could i would love to see  

major major league caliber hitters hitting off of  a team everything would be so fun tremendous to  

see a david ortiz just and and look at that game  and the scores i would like to see uh them major  

league games where the scores are like 145 to 144  let me eliminate pitching altogether yeah and uh  

steroids encouraged why not the  combination of steroids and the tea  

have you uh you know i saw your sister in a  movie for god's sake yes my sister kate that  

was fantastic she did a terrific job she's great  talent what was the film was the fight the fighter  

yeah my sister uh auditioned uh they had  no idea that she was any relation to me  

really other than she looks exactly like well  she looks like me and a wig yeah no she's  

she's an attractive version of me  uh she's very talented and she uh  

yeah they had no idea she did a terrific job  they put her in this film and she she nailed it  

yeah i think she uh i mean she also teaches  so she's balancing it she's working in show  

business and helping humanity now uh that's  unheard of for god's sakes now you won't see  

me going down that road do you you like living in  california you know what california is pretty good  

uh i will say i got to look at your audience  and it's a good-looking crowd and i'm not  

saying that just to a cue applause  right now uh there's no time that's

that's so it's so cheap so cheap beneath beneath  you uh i i saw and you'll relate to this i saw  

it's one different with lost one thing it's very  different there is that the audiences are much  

more casual in their dreams more relaxed a little  more relaxed and so i noticed there was a picture  

that i saw in the years i worked at nbc which  was it was a reverse angle of jack parr doing  

his tonight show monologue and it's a reverse  angle when you see the audience the men are  

in ties they're all don draper on mad men they've  got the ties and the jackets the women are wearing  

sensible republican cloth coats everything's  and they're all sitting there and enjoying the  

show i watched an evolution occur throughout  the 80s and the 90s and it got more gradual  

uh in los angeles people come to the tapings in  board shorts flip-flops thongs and nothing else uh  

world war one helmets uh fake beards eye patches  it's a it's a freak show i think i think you also  

mentioned that they often bring  animals they bring they bring livestock

so cherish this this is old time this is the  ed sullivan theater uh and and it's i love  

being interested this is the conan o'brien  right here in the chicago week of june 11th  

great pleasure to see this adam congratulations  on everything i'm glad to have you here  

come back anytime donald o'brien ladies and  gentlemen let me read back with regina spectre

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