0:03 imagine pouring your heart into raising
0:06 your child only to face rejection and
0:09 emotional abuse in return for some
0:11 parents this is the painful reality of
0:13 having an adult child who has narcissistic
0:15 narcissistic
0:17 Tendencies parenting doesn't come with a
0:20 manual and despite our best efforts
0:23 relationships with our kids can
0:25 deteriorate when an adult child has
0:28 these traits it can lead to emotional
0:31 turmoil and estrangement in this video
0:33 we're going to explore how to recognize
0:36 narcissistic behavior understand its
0:45 cope so recognizing narcissistic
0:47 behavior in adult children so
0:50 narcissistic personality disorder or NPD
0:52 is a mental health condition
0:54 characterized by a pattern of
0:58 grandiosity a need for admiration and a
1:00 lack of empathy when these traits
1:03 manifest in adult children parents May
1:06 notice behaviors such as what we call
1:08 lack of respect and empathy they
1:10 disregard your feelings and needs
1:14 focusing solely on their own and it's a
1:16 conditional relationship they only reach
1:18 out when they need something whether
1:21 financial support or validation there's
1:24 some manipulation an exploitation going
1:26 on they use guilt gaslighting or
1:30 coercion to get what they want often at
1:32 your emotional expense there's a
1:35 resistance to boundaries setting
1:37 boundaries leads to anger or explosive
1:40 reactions making it difficult to
1:43 establish healthy limits so let's talk
1:45 about the emotional toll on parents when
1:48 we discover our adult child has these
1:51 narcissistic traits it's profoundly
1:54 painful parents often experience guilt
1:57 and self-blame questioning where they
2:00 were wrong okay they have a diminished
2:03 sense of selfworth especially after
2:06 years of being devalued or dismissed
2:09 they have anxiety and fear of conflict
2:10 they feel like they're walking on
2:12 eggshells there's obsessive thoughts
2:15 about the relationship replaying past
2:17 interactions in hopes of finding a
2:20 solution they could be depression and
2:22 grief mourning the loss of this
2:24 relationship they had hoped for while
2:26 the harsh reality of accountability and
2:28 estrangement one of the hardest truths
2:31 to accept is that your adult child may
2:34 never take responsibility for their role
2:36 in the breakdown of the relationship and
2:39 narcissists struggle with accountability
2:42 they may rewrite history to make
2:44 themselves the victim leaving you
2:48 helpless and misunderstood and research
2:50 suggests that family estrangement is
2:53 more common than we realize we know that
2:56 approximately 27% of adults are arranged
2:59 from a family member and personality
3:03 disorder like NPD can play a significant
3:06 role in these ruptures estrangement from
3:08 a narcissistic child is especially
3:10 painful because their ability to
3:12 manipulate and blame others can leave
3:15 parents doubting themselves it can feel
3:18 like you're in a hole with no ladder to
3:21 get out I often say and you hear me if
3:23 you've been listening to any of my
3:24 videos that it's really important to
3:26 take accountability because something
3:29 happened and yes I believe that there is
3:31 always something a parent can say you
3:33 know what I take responsibility I'm so
3:36 sorry I want to make it better I want to
3:39 do better okay the parents can always do
3:41 that however it's really important that
3:44 before you jump to the conclusion that
3:47 your adult child is a narcissist that
3:50 you first look and say hey what have I
3:52 done because you can both be having
3:55 escalated behaviors manipulative
3:57 controlling behaviors as discussed in
4:00 this video and then you're sit around
4:03 thinking it has nothing to do with you
4:05 because you might be in denial because
4:07 you don't want to be the terrible ugly
4:10 parent that your kid is all disregulated
4:13 telling you that you are and then you
4:15 come to the conclusion oh my kid is a
4:18 narcissist this is what a lot of adult
4:20 children have done as well immediately
4:24 blaming parents for um being totally uh
4:27 terrible meanwhile there's this pattern
4:31 of um Mutual disregulation and
4:33 maltreatment I just want you to be aware
4:36 and be careful and remember that these
4:39 things are not easy to untangle and
4:41 figure out everything needs to be sifted
4:44 out with a professional so that you know
4:47 in discussing family estrangement all of
4:50 these things are multifaceted there's
4:53 not just one size fits all and much of
4:57 what I say is a generalization I don't
4:59 know what your situation is so but if if
5:02 your adult child has narcissistic traits
5:06 it is extremely difficult and it's good
5:08 for you to follow the suggestions in
5:10 this video while this situation is
5:13 undeniably painful there are ways to
5:16 protect your mental health one allow
5:18 yourself to grieve mourn the loss of the
5:21 relationship and it's a necessary step
5:24 in healing two accept and let go you
5:25 can't change your child's Behavior
5:28 acceptance frees you from the exhausting
5:31 cycle of trying to to fix things and
5:34 three is set firm boundaries protect
5:36 yourself by deciding what you will and
5:40 won't tolerate four stop enabling stop
5:42 enabling supporting them financially or
5:45 emotionally out of guilt only reinforces
5:49 their behavior and five get professional
5:51 support therapy or an estrangement
5:54 specialist can help you with this
5:57 narcissistic abuse so that you can move
5:59 forward with resilience you your
6:02 well-being matters surround yourself
6:05 with supportive people be careful where
6:07 you hang out engage in activities that
6:10 bring you Joy and focus on rebuilding
6:12 your confidence while the hope of
6:15 reconciliation may never fully fade it's
6:18 important to prioritize your mental
6:20 health and emotional peace if you're
6:22 struggling with a narcissistic family
6:24 member or an adult child know that
6:27 you're not alone there are resources
6:30 available to offer support thank you for
6:33 watching if you found this video helpful
6:35 like And subscribe and share it with
6:37 others who might need it together we can
6:40 navigate these difficult family Dynamics
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