YouTube Transcript:
My Wife Divorced Me By Email While I Was Deployed Overseas & Emptied Our Joint Account; But I___

I got the divorce papers by email while
I was still in the desert 13 years of
marriage ended in a PDF attachment my
name is Nathan 42 years old staff
sergeant with the 82nd Airborne I'd been
in Kandahar for 4 months when Becky
decided she was done waiting the subject
line read let's be adults about this the
message itself was three sentences long
she'd already filed the paperwork she'd
already emptied our joint account she'd
already moved her new boyfriend Jeremy
into our house in Spokane I read the
email twice closed my laptop took a
shower in the communal stall got dressed
for my shift said nothing to anyone when
I got back to my bunk that night I
replied with one word understood that
was it no argument no begging no threats
Wilson my bunk mate noticed something
was off you good man he asked not
looking up from his book yeah I said
just some stuff back home he nodded and
that was the end of it military guys
know when to leave things alone truth is
I wasn't surprised 6 months before
deployment things had changed Small
Things Becky stopped asking about my day
started working late at the dental
office where she answered phones started
going to the gym three times a week but
never seemed to break a sweat new
clothes new friends I never met new
passwords on her phone I didn't confront
her didn't start checking her messages
or following her around that's not who I
am but I wasn't blind either so I made
some quiet moves of my own nothing
dramatic just precautions I secured
important documents in a storage unit
across town birth certificate marriage
license house deed with only my name on
it thanks to the VA loan military
benefits paperwork I moved my
grandfather's watch and my mom's old
silver to the same unit things that
mattered I also opened a separate
account at a different bank and started
diverting part of my pay there not
enough that she'd notice but enough that
I wouldn't be starting from zero if
things went South the night before I
deployed she hugged me at the airport
and said stay safe okay her eyes were
dry like she was saying goodbye to a
co-worker not a husband heading to War I
should have known then but part of me
still hoped I was wrong I wasn't what
she didn't know was that I'd prepared
for this moment and what she didn't
understand was that I never start fights
but I do finish them I met Becky at a
friend's barbecue in 2010 I was home
between tours staying with my buddy
Jason in Spokan she was finishing
nursing school but ended up working
admin at a dental practice instead less
stress she said we were married 8 months
later Becky used to say she was proud of
my service though she never quite
understood it her dad was a bank manager
her brother a pharmacist no military in
her family she'd ask when I was going to
get a real job not realizing that after
15 years the Army was my career not just
a job I was killing time at we bought
our house in
2014 nothing fancy but it was ours three
bedrooms small yard quiet neighborhood
my name was the only one on the mortgage
since the VA loan was in my name but I
added her to the deed because that's
what married people do share
things my dad died a year after we got
married heart attack while shoveling
snow my mom passed 3 years later lung
cancer though she never smoked a day in
her life they left me some money not a
fortune but enough that Becky and I
could pay off our student loans and
still have a
cushion I deployed four times during our
marriage Iraq twice Afghanistan twice
each time I came home Becky seemed a
little more distant a little more
Restless like she was playing a role
she'd
outgrown I didn't sign up to be a
military wife she told me once after I
mentioned possibly reuping for another
four years I'm tired of being alone all
the time I understood that I did but the
Army was the only place I ever felt like
I truly belonged I was good at my job
people depended on
me in 2019 things started changing small
stuff at first Becky got irritated when
I called during her girls nights started
talking about how her friend Melissa had
divorced her husband and was living her
best life now started making comments
about how we didn't really have anything
in common anymore I suggested counseling
she said we were fine just going through
a phase then came the late nights at
work the weekends away with friends I'd
never met the new clothes the gym
membership she rarely used I should have
confronted her but that's not how I
handle things never have my dad taught
me to think before I speak to be sure
before I act so I watched and I prepared
quietly because my gut was telling me
something was coming and in this life
you learned to trust your gut 2 weeks
after getting the divorce email I was
sitting in the mess hall when my phone
buzzed a notification from our bank app
another withdrawal $88,500 almost
everything that was
left I set my Fork down and opened the
app the joint account balance was down
to
$22.37 our savings $47,000 we'd built up
over years was gone completely
transferred to an account I didn't
recognize Murphy one of the guys from my
unit glanced over bad news I locked my
phone nah just some account stuff that
night I called our bank from the Bas
phone center turned out Becky had been
moving money for weeks small amounts at
first then larger ones the big transfers
started the day after I deployed I hung
up and stood in the hallway for a long
time watching guys laughing calling
their kids their wives their parents
normal life happening all around me
while mine was burning down that's when
Wilson found me heard from Alvarez that
you looked like you'd seen a ghost at
dinner he said what's up I don't usually
share personal stuff but Wilson had
pulled me out of a bad situation in
Kandahar once I trusted him my wife
emptied our accounts and moved her
boyfriend into our house I said sent
divorce papers while I was on patrol
last week Wilson didn't give me the
usual no I'm sorry or that's
rough or you'll find someone better he
just asked what's your plan not sure yet
I said he nodded let me know if you need
anything that night I couldn't sleep I
pulled out my laptop and logged into our
home security system something Becky
probably forgot I could access remotely
the cameras showed a strange truck in
our driveway a man I'd never seen before
walking our dog using my coffee mug
wearing my Seahawk sweatshirt
and there was Becky laughing in the
kitchen I'd renovated myself during my
last leave something shifted inside me
not anger exactly something colder
clearer I closed the laptop and pulled
out my phone made a list call James Army
buddy who became a lawyer check the VA
loan terms contact Master Sergeant about
emergency leave review home refinance
documents something Becky mentioned
casually last year check the security on
my military pension accounts I didn't
feel sad anymore anymore I didn't even
feel angry I felt focused like I was
planning a mission this wasn't about
emotion now this was about
strategy at 0500 before my shift started
I sent an email to James with the
subject line need legal help discreet
and
urgent his reply came an hour later call
me secure line
only when I hung up from that call I
knew exactly what I needed to do I
didn't need to yell I didn't need to
threaten I didn't even need to confront
her I just needed to wait and watch and
let her own actions become the Trap 2
months later I was back on American soil
I didn't tell Becky I was coming home
didn't call didn't text just checked
into a motel in downtown Spokan under a
different name and contacted James we
met at a diner 10 miles outside of town
you look like hell he said sliding into
the booth feel like it too I replied
James handed me a folder
everything we discussed the house deed
loan documents bank statements and this
he pulled out a separate paper found
something interesting when I was digging
into your
finances it was a refinance application
with my signature on it except it wasn't
my signature not quite someone had tried
to copy it but missed details the middle
initial was wrong and the stroke pattern
wasn't
mine Becky did this I asked though I I
already knew the answer James nodded 3
months ago use the equity to pull out
$330,000 your signature is required for
that since the VA loan is in your name
only Forge my signature take out a loan
against our house then clear out our
accounts and divorce me I said busy
woman it gets better James said she
listed her boyfriend as a co- applicant
heun's got a record two DUIs and a fraud
charge from
2019 I took a deep breath what are my
options several James said But first you
need to decide what you want I thought
about it I want what's legally mine and
I want her to understand
consequences James smiled then here's
what we do the next day I drove past our
house her boyfriend's truck was gone but
Becky's car was in the driveway I parked
down the street and watched for a while
thought about knocking on the door
confronting her but that wasn't the plan
instead I drove to the bank met with the
loan officer who had processed the
refinance showed him my military ID
showed him the real signature on my
driver's license showed him the forged
documents his face went pale I'll need
to report this
immediately I understand I said I've
already filed a police report that night
I got a text from Becky who have you
been talking to at the bank Jeremy said
someone was asking questions I didn't
respond
the next day I went to the county
clerk's office filed paperwork
contesting the refinance due to fraud
registered formal notice that no changes
to the property could be made without my
presence 2 Days Later Becky called I let
it go to voicemail Nathan we need to
talk the bank called about the house
what are you doing if this is about the
divorce we can discuss it like adults
like adults the same words from her
email I still didn't respond James
called that afternoon they froze the
refinance money and there's more your
wife's boyfriend has been driving your
truck right the one in your
name yeah he got pulled over this
morning driving on a suspended license
from those DUIs they impounded the
vehicle good I said he also had some
interesting things in the truck
prescription pads from the dental office
where Becky Works they weren't blank I
closed my eyes she's been stealing
prescription pads looks that way the
police are
investigating I hung up and sat on the
edge of the motel bed this was getting
bigger than I'd expected part of me
wanted to call Becky warn her old habits
but then I remembered the security
camera footage my house my dog my life
given away like it meant nothing number
this was the path now I couldn't turn
back and honestly I didn't want
to I met with the bank fraud
investigator the next morning name was
Thompson short guy with tired eyes and a
coffee stain on his
tie this happens more often than you'd
think he said spreading documents across
his desk spouse deploys other spouse
sees an
opportunity what happens now I asked
we've Frozen the funds from the
fraudulent refinance but there's a
problem some of the money's already gone
how much about half $14,600 I leaned
forward where did it go Thompson
hesitated I'm not supposed to share that
information it's my house my name forged
my money
stolen he nodded slowly then turned his
computer screen toward me these are the
transfers out of the refinance account I
scanned the list multiple transfers to
someone named Daniel Spencer not Jeremy
someone else I'd never heard
of who's Daniel Spencer I asked Thompson
Shrugged not my department but you
should ask your lawyer to subpoena these
records I called James as soon as I left
the bank Daniel Spencer he repeated let
me run a Check an hour later he called
back got it Daniel Spencer is a real
estate agent specializes in quick sales
cash
deals she was planning to sell our house
I said the realization hit me like a
physical blow looks that way the
deposits were probably earnest money to
get him moving on a listing but here's
where it gets interesting Spencer has
done business with Jeremy Ryan
before Jeremy Ryan is is that your
wife's boyfriend yes they've closed
three Deals together in the past 2
years I sat down on a park bench trying
to process this so this wasn't just
Becky leaving me for some guy this was
what a planned
operation maybe James said
carefully I did some digging into Jeremy
Ryan he has a pattern gets involved with
women going through divorce or with
deployed spouses three cases I found so
far each time the woman's home gets sold
well below market value to one of
Spencer's clients Ryan gets a cut then
he moves on and Becky she knew about
this hard to say maybe she's a victim
too or maybe she's in on it I rubbed my
face this wasn't just about Becky
betraying me anymore this was something
bigger something calculated and other
military families had been
victims what do we do I asked I've
already contacted the FBI's Financial
crime division James said this crosses
state lines involves military personnel
and VA loans they're
interested that night I sat in my motel
room with a beer thinking about
everything wondering if Becky had been
playing me our entire marriage or if
she'd gotten swept up in Jeremy's scheme
wondering if it even mattered my phone
buzzed Becky again Nathan please call me
the bank is saying something about fraud
and Jeremy got arrested for driving your
truck I don't understand what's
happening
happing I stared at the message for a
long time then I typed who is Daniel
Spencer three dots appeared as she
started typing then stopped started
again stopped finally I don't know what
you're talking
about 14,600 I wrote multiple transfers
house listing no response for 10 minutes
then it's not what you think I turned
off my phone and went to bed the next
morning James called FBI wants to meet
they've been investigating Ryan and
Spencer for months you're not the first
but you might be the case that breaks it
open for the first time since getting
that divorce email I felt something
close to satisfaction not because my
marriage was over but because the truth
was finally coming out I met with the
FBI agents at their field office in
Spokane agent Patel and agent Donovan
they recorded my statement took copies
of all the documents James and I had
gathered
your case helps establish a pattern
agent Patel explained shows intent
organization makes it a conspiracy
rather than isolated
incidents what about Becky I asked my
wife ex-wife the agents exchanged
looks we still determining her level of
involvement Donovan said carefully did
she ever mention financial difficulties
pressure to sell the house I thought
back she kept saying we were house poor
that we should downsize I didn't see the
need our mortgage payments were
manageable on my salary Patel made a
note when did that
start about 6 months ago around the time
she must have met
Jeremy and the refinance Donovan asked
never discussed it with me she forged my
signature while I was
deployed they asked more questions took
more notes when we finished Patel handed
me her card we'll be in touch in the
meantime don't confront your wife or
Ryan we need to build this case
carefully
I nodded
understood that evening I drove to our
neighborhood again parked down the
street from our house Jeremy's truck was
back must have gotten it out of impound
Becky's car was gone my phone buzzed
text from Becky we need to talk in
person meet me at Riverfront Park
tomorrow I showed the text to James over
breakfast the next day don't go he
advised nothing good can come from
talking to her right now I won't I said
but I want to know what she's doing
today while she thinks I'm meeting her
we drove to our house at 9:30 a.m.
parked across the street at 9:45 Becky
came out got in her car and drove away
heading toward Riverfront Park now what
James asked now we wait I
said 20 minutes later A car pulled up
real estate agent logo on the door
Daniel
Spencer Jeremy came out to greet him
they talked in the driveway then went
inside
should we follow them James asked I
shook my head no need I installed
security cameras last year interior and
exterior they upload to cloud storage
James smiled you didn't mention that
before never came up I said pulling out
my phone I opened the security app and
angled the screen so James could see
Spencer and Jeremy were in our living
room Spencer was taking photos Jeremy
was pointing at features of the house I
turned up the volume
should list by the end of the week
Spencer was saying I've got a buyer
interested already cash offer as usual
how much Jeremy asked 420 we list at 470
they offer 420 everybody's
happy what about the husband Becky says
he's causing trouble Spencer waved
dismissively military guys are all the
same they make noise but they've got
deployments responsibilities he'll take
a settlement to make it go away
I turned to James you getting this he
was already recording the feed on his
phone every word I forwarded the
security feed access to agent Patel with
a short message Happening Now 30 minutes
later our house was surrounded by FBI
vehicles I watched from down the street
as agents LED Spencer and Jeremy out in
handcuffs my phone rang agent
Patel got them on tape discussing the
fraud scheme she said plus conspiracy
wire fraud and attempting to sell
property under false pretenses we going
to need a formal statement from you of
course I said and Mr Briggs your wife
just arrived at the scene she's
distressed I looked down the street
Becky was standing on our lawn hands
over her mouth watching as FBI agents
carried boxes of documents from our
house what happens to her I
asked that depends Patel said on what
she knew and on what you want I watched
Becky for a long moment 13 years of
marriage good years at the beginning
before whatever this had
become I just want what's right I said
finally the federal case moved quickly
Jeremy and Spencer both took plea deals
implicating each other and several other
conspirators in what turned out to be a
three-state operation targeting military
families Becky maintained she knew
nothing about the larger scheme said
Jeremy had convinced her I was hiding
money planning to leave her with nothing
said the refinance was his idea she'd
just gone along with it maybe that was
true maybe it wasn't either way she
agreed to a settlement full restitution
of the stolen funds forfeiture of any
claim to the house or my military
pension a signed confession about the
forgery in exchange I didn't press
charges the divorce was finalized 6
months after that email from Kandahar no
fault clean break all things
considered on the day the last paperwork
was signed I got a call from agent Patel
Jeremy Ryan was sentenced today 8 years
for fraud conspiracy and identity theft
Spencer got 12 thought you'd want to
know thank you I said there's something
else she added we found evidence they've
done this to 11 other military families
your case helped us build the pattern
those families might get their money
back because of you after we hung up I
sat on the porch of my rental apartment
watching the sunset thinking about those
other families
other men who deployed thinking their
homes and marriages were safe only to
come back to emptiness I hadn't planned
on being the one to bring down Jeremy in
Spencer's operation I just wanted what
was mine but sometimes things work out
in ways you don't expect my phone buzzed
text from Becky I never meant for things
to end this way I didn't respond there
was nothing left to say a year later I
sold the house couldn't stand to live in
it anymore too many memories too much
betrayal in those walls I used the money
to buy a small cabin outside of Missoula
Montana two bedrooms 10 acres of land a
creek running behind it no neighbors for
Miles I took early retirement from the
Army 20 years was enough I'd given
enough I got a dog German Shepherd named
Scout started doing carpentry work for
locals nothing fancy but it kept my
hands busy and paid the bills my
military pension covered the rest
sometimes I thought about Becky wondered
where she ended up James heard she'd
moved back to her hometown in Oregon
working at another dental office
starting over I guess I didn't hate her
anymore didn't much feel anything about
her to be honest she'd made her choices
and so had I one evening I got a letter
from a woman in Fort Worth her husband
was in the Navy deployed when Jeremy and
Spencer tried to run their scheme on her
the FBI had given her my name as part of
the
case you don't know me she wrote but you
saved our home thank you were fighting
back when it would have been easier to
just walk away I read it twice then
pinned it to my refrigerator some days
when the silence got too loud or the
memories too sharp I'd look at that
letter and remember that something good
had come from all of it last I heard
Jeremy was still in prison Spencer too
the system worked for once as for me I
was finding my way forward one quiet day
at a time building something new
something that couldn't be stolen or
forged or betrayed something that was
just mine for