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Discipline, Confidence & The Champion’s Mindset - Chris Bumstead (4K)

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this is going out the day after the

Olympia what do you hope happened

yesterday well I certainly hope I won

definitely easiest answer to give this

year is just very important to me to

really want to bring my best package you

know it sounds cheesy to say but I've

been working hard going through a lot of

adversities and challenges over the

years and every Year's had something

kind of like get in my way and felt like

it would holding me back this year's had

a few earlier on in the year but at this

point point I'm feeling pretty good

feeling pretty set so just want to be

able to stride into this one I want to

be able to enjoy it I want to be able to

you know get off stage kiss my wife hold

my baby know that I became the best in

the world and maintained a beautiful

relationship through it how important is

it to share the success with somebody

else as opposed to just doing it for

yourself it's hard to say how important

it is because I haven't had the success

without her but I can't imagine it in

any other way I think

you know in the meaning we find in life

it's beautiful to do hard things and to

accomplish things but if you were to do

it alone it's just not the same as being

able to share with someone I think

there's a level of you know codependence

and regulation that can be healthy and

can help you push through be more

present not have to shut off and numb so

much you know I think a lot of people

who going through hard things trying to

accomplish really big levels of success

numb a lot to get there and I think

being able to have a partner in which

you can regulate yourself with and share

and communicate and lean on prevents you

from having to numb brings you closer

together which is its own experience as

well as the experience of whatever

you're working toward so it's like

double the amount of joy that you get to

feel growing in two ways at once exactly

yeah and who doesn't want a big hug

after you accomplish something you know

yeah that's cool what will you be

talking about in your speech hopefully

in my speech hopefully it's a good

question I would say just talking about

this year I've been thinking a lot about

the sacrifices that come with success

you know like nothing comes for free and

I've reflected a lot over the years of

how much of my mental peace I've had to

sacrifice to accomplish what I've

accomplished and it's just been a lot of

like waking up at 5:00 a.m. going

through the day wake up weigh myself

weigh my food do my check-ins in the

mirror like go to the gym work out how

WR everything is like am I good enough

am I being enough am I doing enough to

win the Olympia right now it's all just

compared to being Mr Olympia to that

level of success and you know people

talk about what you sacrifice to be

great at things and they normally like

you don't get to go hang out with your

friends you don't get to go party go go

do these things but I think for me the

biggest sacrifice has just been the my

me my mental Peace So the goal this year

has been trying to find that maintain it

have the mental peace while also

thriving at a high level and seeing how

I can do that as as efficiently as

possible and you know I'd like to be

able to say I did so successfully talk

to me about the the tension of being as

high of a performer the best in the

world of what you do whilst also so not

having that neurotic drive that sort of

ambient anxiety that you can never

switch off because it seems like that

anxiety is precisely what creates the

perfectionism approach that allows you

to cover all of those bases is it

possible to have one without the

other I'm not sure I still have a level

of neuroticism in me even though I've

been succeeding for like five six years

now and it's definitely gotten better

you know I I don't focus on perfection I

focus on just being doing the best I can

but even within that I have that voice

in my head that will look at myself

every now and then be like it's not that

I'm a shitty person but if I'm trying to

be Mr lumpy like you're not

doing enough and it creates a like a

impeding anxiety upon myself like I'm

not doing enough and that's not like an

overwhelming thing all the time it's

it's a drive for me to keep being better

and keep pushing more and more but it's

a lot so I think being able to manage

that is one of the most challenging

things of maintaining success for an

extended period of time you know there's

two different mindsets when you win

something there's oh I won I did it I'm

done and then there's oh like I

better I got to do better than this one

now I have to maintain this not only

maintain this but this is the bare

minimum of what's expected of me and I

got to do better now so there's the

balance of all that and I think over the

last couple years I've been able to

really be able to fix my perspective on

just being grateful for the privilege of

it you know there's been times where I

thought I was going to stop competing

because the pressure felt so high and

then when I started to step away from it

I was like I would really miss this

pressure like there something I love

about it there something I love about

being put back against the corner like

knowing that there's a lot of work I

have to do feeling like I can't

accomplish my goal and you're going to

have to do it there's something so like

simple and beautiful in the meaning of

just doing something that difficult

under that level of pressure that you're

choosing to do you know people say you

find meaning in suffering and I think if

you put yourself into like a meaningless

suffering it's kind of just it's dumb

there's no point you're just hurting

yourself for no reason but if you can

find your meaning in Just Doing Hard

that are as close as possible to

suffering that you're still benefiting

from and you still enjoy I think it's

beautiful that's one of the vicious

double-edged swords of having success if

you have that kind of mentality which I

know all all too well that anytime you

reach a new high or achieve some new

kind of bar MH hooray we did it

immediately the next thought after that

is oh I now need to do it again but

better that's now the next minute

mhm yeah and I've I've had conversations

with many people about the possibility

of not having that and just being able

to enjoy and relieve the pressure on

yourself and you know there's all these

studies that come out talk about

motivation and drive saying that you can

get more from coming from like a secure

place rather than beating yourself up

and it's like it depends on what your

version of success is like can these

people correct live a life to be more

happy and fulfilled yes but will they be

Michael Jordan have six championships

dude I probably not you know I love this

topic I love it so much and uh I think

the bottom line is that if you're

talking about beating everybody else on

the planet to a thing what you're

actually talking about is what are you

prepared to sacrifice psychologically

physically existentially relationally

socially in terms of your self-esteem

your confident everything right all of

that because if you're if there's even a

part of you that's thinking well I'm

going to do this I'm going to balance it

because I want to feel satisfied I want

feel comfortable with myself and so on

and so forth that's fine for as long as

it contributes to your performance

within the domain that you're competing

in but as soon as you sacrifice any

output in that that's just an opening

for somebody else that's the competitor

that's going to come in and get it

because I use this example of Eddie Hall

World's Strongest Man uh 2017 or 18 I

think and he's there you know he's

worked hard toward this final goal he

wins it once and he's crying and he's

saying Nana this is for you his grandma

that passed away recently something like

that and he says if he hadn't won

that year he thinks that he would be

dead Divorced with no relationship to

his kid because the weight he was at and

the way he was pushing his body with

Pharmaceuticals and stuff was ridiculous

he was working so hard and training so

much that his relationship with his wife

was in the toilet and he spent no time

with his kid uh so you think okay in

order for you to beat Eddie Hall you

have to be prepared to sacrifice all of

those things or not have them in the

first place yeah so that's the price

that he pays to be him do you want to do

you want to win world's strongest man

cuz that's the price right there yeah

it's powerful and that's what it comes

down to like what are you willing to

sacrifice at the end of the day you know

people don't understand the level of sa

sacrifice it's going to take and there's

been moments where I realize that there

are competitors I'm going against I'm

sure and people in my league who are

doing things that hurt their body more

than I'm willing to do because I'm not

the person anymore I can't say I'm

willing to sacrifice everything to win

the Olympia like hell no I have a family

you know there things I care about am I

willing to sacrifice a lot my own like

selfish mental peace and a lot of joy

and a lot of things and working really

hard absolutely but my health taking

years off my life to not be with my

family and stuff those are the things

that kind of like hold me back now and

is that going to make me better or worse

I don't know but again you know I've

always focused on building my own

definition of what success means to me

you know it's in like we were saying in

competition there will always be I'm

trying to be the best in the world that

means I need to beat these people that

means I'm good enough or I'm not good

enough in comparison to something

external of myself but interally the

values of the truth of what you hold in

yourself of what really success means to

you in your entire life those are the

things that you kind of have to balance

and weigh out and kind of lean into one

or the other and I compete because I

want to win I love winning I love being

the best in the world I've sat many

times trying to find the balance of what

I want within all this if I was losing I

wouldn't be competing I'm here to win

and it is what it is I I love what I do

but at this point it's taken away a lot

that I just really love winning more

than I love more than I dislike the work

so it's fine I can do it but my values

are still bigger than that my success at

the end of my life is beyond hurting

myself now to do so so it's a constant

check-in with myself of making sure I'm

lining up my values and I'm not going to

sacrifice winning to do so and I need to

be smart enough that when those start to

disbalance I need to pull away from one

focus on the other and know one to check

out so what happens

next what next in

life take it year by year and we see you

know I've been saying I think 2019

was the year I finished won the Olympia

went home and I was like I'm done I'm

retiring and that that was the year I

was I was over it I was done in 2018 I

almost done and then 2019 I like it

I'm going to go win one I won one came

back all I felt was relief I didn't

enjoy it as much as I thought I still

was getting a little sick from

autoimmune I didn't know how to manage

my health properly back then and it was

just so much stress about my health

because of 2018 when I was in the

hospital for my autoimmune that I was

like this isn't worth it to me I'm not

doing this anymore and ever since then

I've been like if I do one more then I'm

lucky to do one more and I'm G to take

it one year at a time and so every year

I've been grateful enough to be able to

do one more at a time if my health has

gotten better every single year and you

know every year I find that drive and

that excitement behind that pressure to

be better and better and I'm still

enjoying it I haven't sacrificed

anything beyond my values and my truth

so I'm here doing my best it'll

be maybe even more of an impressive feat

to be able to do it without sacrificing

that stuff and it's very UNG glories you

know what I mean it's it's got nothing

to do with how peeled you are when you

step out on stage or oh my God look at

how much back development he's

accumulated from last year or whatever

it's one of those very odd private

victories yeah you know like I I I

always think about this um these

weird insults that we have to ourselves

on a daily basis that that no one is

ever going to give you any Applause for

so um you get caught up in traffic in a

way that wasn't your fault and then when

you get there the person that you're

dealing with something goes wrong with

that and something else goes wrong with

this and something else goes wrong the

whole day all the way down and no one of

these is impressive or grand or

magnificent in any way and you managed

to sort of weave your way through the

day keeping your cool and you don't lose

it and you managed to kind of make the

best of that whole day and you get to

the end of it there's no one applauding

you for having got through that and yet

you look back at the day and you go holy

like I'm really proud of myself

that myself well yes yes I think a lot

about normal private victories mhm like

that and it's a shame it's a shame that

there isn't a better way I guess

journaling gratitude practice would help

but um I mean I would argue a really

close relationship where you're able to

share everything and they're able to see

the struggles that most people don't

ever see is another experience where

when you boring wins boring you can

share them together you know my wife is

a hell of a lot more proud of me for

being myself and being genuine than I

ever winning olympas you know so I think

that's another how we started off the

podcast way to experience something with

someone else I was talking to benjiro

yesterday and he sort of

reminded everybody just how much his

wife who's like a accomplished doctor

and they've got four kids or whatever

gives absolutely zero shits about what

he does he said that there' been this

week where he'd been

to he'd filmed some really impressive

documentary thing over in Europe and

then came back and was currently the

number one rap artist in America yeah uh

in the same week and he got home and

talking to his wife and saying how's

your week been she's explaining about oh

this happened with the kids and such and

such a things how was your week and he

says yeah pretty busy I think and uh he

explained she's like I'm currently the

number one selling rap artist and he was

like yeah yeah that's good the bins need

taking out yeah think go they of the

trash yep yep that's a beautiful

relationship I think it's cool that's

awesome and she probably also knows him

well enough to know that Met's probably

not a victory that he holds High his

heart as well so it's not like I

finished a book that I worked on for a

long time was super proud of it I'm sure

she would support him for it but she's

like all right you have enough eego

blast you're competing with Nikki Minaj

No One Cares uh talk to me about this

prep how's this prep been this prep has

been good you know it's been a struggle

up and down at moments as they always

are I started a little bit late this

year I feel you know I spent my winter

down in Turkey getting a new hairline

and didn't go look sweet dude a little

straighter than last time little what do

they call me the Lego Rob BL character

the comments love it but um it took a

couple months off at the beginning of

the year and kind of developed a little

bit of pressure behind me feeling behind

and allowed me to kick my ass and go

through it but you know I feel good my

body's healthy and I'm ready to roll

what are

your biggest cheats for this stage of

prep or biggest insights around fat loss

I I imagine the hunger that you're

dealing with is pretty ugly what what

calories you want at the moment I'm

eating about 2, 2200 calories right now

okay and we're what 3 weeks out three

and a half yeah so that's going to go

down to, 1500 1600 it depends every year

probably though I still have to lose

nine pounds in three weeks so yeah so

probably get he cut down a little more

how do you deal with the hunger because

it doesn't matter people don't need to

be trying to win the Mr Olympia for the

sixth year in a row or whatever anybody

that's on a cut deals with really

difficult hunger uh and most of them

don't have World Championship

driving them yeah what's your best ways

for coping with hunger and cravings and

stuff like that when you're deep into a

fat loss phase I mean it's hard to

answer in that aspect because I always

have had World Championship as my

driving passion stoping a stopping

a stopping a yeah like

you're don't be a little don't

need it you know but I would say the

momentum is absolutely huge being able

to do something consistently I've been

doing this consistently for a decade you

know almost everything I've eaten has

been weighed out to a tea and planned

and for a reason for 10 years now and if

I had stopped and eaten whatever I want

for five years and come back and be like

okay diet for an Olympia it would be

extremely hard for me mentally to handle

that every year has gone a little bit

easier because I've gotten used to it I

know what it takes I know what comes

with it we were just talking about you

said Mike isra tell says the same thing

you just you stop caring about food even

in my offseason I don't like eating food

because I'm eating so much food so I

don't look forward to the food that I

eat I just make sure it's something

edible that I can get down if I have to

put like bone broth on it with some

sriracha and just eat it really fast and

then when I come down into prep and I am

hungry I still not excited to eat the

food it's just it's just some chicken

breast and some meal make it super plain

and it is what it is get through the day

and you're fine and you also got to

create like exciting daily victories for

myself you know I weigh myself like

three times a day and I don't get

obsessively worried about it but I'm

like okay I'm going to weigh myself

right now I'm a pound heavier than I was

yesterday you can't even think about

eating anym today like you're heavier

than yesterday like you should probably

eat less today even go do some more

cardio push it a little bit harder and

then you just track daily victories and

every single day trying to be a little

bit better a little bit better checking

the scale doing your check-ins going to

the gym seeing how you feel and there's

something in bodybuilding that's a

little like sadistic where you just when

you start to get to that point where

you're so tired and like I was telling

you like I Dro something on the floor

and I'm like look at it and I'm like I

can't pick that up I'm like it's too far

I do not have the I'm literally wearing

birken stocks dragging my heels across

the ground walking courtne he's like 20t

ahead of me I'm like I can't catch up

I'm too tired but there's something

about that where you're like I'm going

to be shredded if I'm this tired

if I feel like this for weeks my body is

burning fat it has nothing and it has no

energy I'm just holding on to muscle and

there's just something exciting about

you know achieving that level of like

leanness and trying to beat path

versions of myself so it's all mental

for me at this point you know there's no

really crazy diet hacks I eat the exact

same thing every day it just reduces the

amounts over time and go with the flow

what does a I don't know whether I've

ever seen a rebound day for you I don't

know whether you've ever vlogged it if

you have I I've missed it a refeed day

yeah like a rebound day the day after

the olymp you know there's always these

I imagine that you're the sort of person

that doesn't do a ridiculous binge

because it would actually wreck your

stomach yeah but what does what do you

even have that I look forward to eating

dot dot dot I I definitely still do at

times and I I can I'll say this now

because it will come out after the

Olympia but I I never I don't think I've

said this public it's funny but my coach

is very I've been very on when I have a

refeed it's the same food I eat every

day but more of it but every now and

then I'm like I just want a cookie

you know I just want a muffin so my

coach like what' you eat today I'm like

400 grams of rice but like realistically

I had like I had a bunch of chicken

breast and then I had three cookies with

it you know it's the same amount of

carbs but I'm like I'm just going to

have some cookies today it you know

and I go for it and I let myself have

that now you know there's a there's a

level of intuition I've developed over

the years of doing what I do where like

I might have stressed about that in the

past but it's going to affect me more

and now I'm like you know you're doing

you've done this for 10 years you know

what's going to hold you back what's

going to not I'm going to enjoy my

cookie with my wife I'm going to eat

this I'm going to go to the gym trans

some I know it's good for me it's good

it's fine and I'll be good it's the same

for me with the show with prep for the

show there's you know there was a long

period still now when I'm in less of a

mindful place where I just need to know

more I need to be better prepared I need

to have more stories I need to have done

more reading even if it's not about the

guest just in other areas uh and then

there's other times where I go I I've

got this you know I did five episodes in

three days in New York this week and uh

getting toward the end I was sitting

down with Casey nead like he's literally

a pro conversationalist that's released

an unlimited amount of videos this is

going to be the easiest conversation in

history you don't need to come in with

all of these different interesting ideas

and stats and all the rest of it so I

it's the only equivalent I can find to

your I have the same equivalent with

this podcast too because when it was

coming up I was like in the past I've

done a bunch podcast and in the last

year or so I was like I don't want to do

anymore I felt like I was trying to

learn things to be articulate to say to

sound smart to sound cool motivational

and I was like I don't want to live like

that anymore I just want to live life to

live life not to present it to people I

would learn something and be like I

could say that on YouTube or something

it would sound cool and I was like

that I don't want to do that anymore and

then you hit me up to do the podcast I

was like oh I haven't been doing

that am I going to have anything to say

yeah but then I was like you know I'm

not the smart guy I'm not the guy who

went to school and how intelligence and

these crazy stories and all this stuff

I'm just the guy who talks about his

truth and his his own stories and

reality so as long as I can bring that

out we're good to go don't overthink it

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slod wisdom I've gone back through your

Instagram over the last few months and

you've done some really cool stuff

you've started putting pretty nice

insights in captions of videos that are

pretty enjoyable to read They're a

nightmare to go back and try and

actually write down because they're

moving pretty quickly so I want to go

through some of the best stuff I've

learned from you over the last few

months the first one is exactly what you

were just talking about if I could go

back I'd tell younger me you're going to

do some pretty great things but you do

not need to be great all you have to do

is be yourself that will always be

enough what's that mean to

you you know I've had a lot of different

thoughts that have come into my mind now

having a child when Courtney was

pregnant thinking about raising a child

myself when I was a child and all these

things and I think I always felt like I wanted

wanted

to be good at everything I did and be

great at what I did and I never expected

to be as good as I was so it would just

be such an interesting relief to be able

to give myself to be like you are going

to be great you're going to have all

these things that you want but you're

also going to realize that they're not

as important as you think they are you

know like you're going to come to the

realization where the relationships and

your values and everything that you

enjoy and the experiences everything

aren't going to come down to those

spectacular moments on stage at the

Olympia they're going to be much more

simpler than that there's just going to

be those moments where you're being

yourself and the people who love you for

that is going to be everything

you do not need to be great that

compulsion that necessity that's sort of

being pulled forward the lack I am not

enough as I am and if I achieve these

great things and if everyone thinks I'm

cool or says that I'm successful then I

am worthy of acceptance and validation

and praise and adoration is that the

subtext below that quote like yeah

essentially yeah that's um

it's just a drive of selfworth you know

it's a kind of a buzzword of what's

going on right now but I think it's you

know we were all kind of raised in a

self self-esteem Society of being like

you can do anything you can be anything

go be this X Y and Z and it almost built

expectations that we had to be these

great things because we could be and our

parents didn't have these opportunities

and the privileges so we go do all these

things and there's just no need for any

of it you know and I think when you were

able to alleviate that pressure from it

like we were talking about the

difference of like the extrinsic goals

is trying to be the best in the world

versus just trying to be my best self

you know and setting authentic goals to

myself what are my authentic goals

winning the Olympia sometimes is a

little more unauthentic than me truly

trying to just push myself to be my best

do I still enjoy that absolutely but

those are the more of the need to be

great the little ego the the thing that

I'll die not needing but the intrinsic

goals that are regardless of things out

of my control you know win lose beat

them don't beat him what's in my control

to of just being myself and who I am

showing up at my best knowing that I can

go to sleep at night knowing I was

myself we talked about pressure is a

privilege last time but this is actually

the same but in Reverse this is

privilege is a

pressure that thee is a pressure yeah

that the privilege you have carries

along with it this pressure in order to

perform well your parents didn't have

this opportunity think about you six

time Mr Olympia you're really going to

think about maybe not going for seven

why wouldn't you leave it most dominant

athlete in history why are you going to

drop the you know like privilege is a

pressure yeah and uh it's one of the odd

byproducts of anybody that's doing

really really great things that a lot of

people are driven by

this unconscious assumption that they're

not enough unless they do do great

things and it'll cause you to go and do

great things but to what end what's the

outcome what's the texture of your mind

like when you go to sleep on a nighttime

you really want that you feel great

doing great things do you feel like

doing great things what's it worth

what's the price do you think you're a

like an odd person to become a world

champion I think so I don't know if

everyone I think so you think you're

we guy to be a world champion I

totally agree I think most people would

be like there's no way this

guy's going to be Champion if they were

my literally this little you know

but I I don't know I think in my opinion

what I've learned very deeply over the

years is that confidence is just truth

you know it's just being honest and

there's people who put on this false

bravado of arrogance of being like you

know they were fifth place at the

Olympia last year don't pick out whoever

was Fifth and pick on them but someone

not winning like I'm going to show up

and I'm going to win this Olympia I know

it in my heart it's like you don't know

that you're lying that's not confidence

that's just a lie whereas when I've

Speak to myself truthfully and I'm like

I don't really know if I can do this

like I have doubt I have fear I just

wanted X Y and Z and I'm like being

honest to me that exemplifies real true

confidence and you're being realistic

with yourself you know if you s tell

yourself you're going to do something

you don't think you really can do you're

creating this gap between your beliefs

and your reality and it just creates

more stress in yourself and an inability

to perform in my

opinion unwavering confidence is a Lie

the fears never go away completely they

just don't linger as

long what's that you're my cl to you

sounds great you wrote it I mean it

sounds sounds f fantastic that's

beautiful um I mean that's kind of in

that same boat and maybe I'm just the

weird Champion who's not like that but I

still am full of Doubt all the time and

I've tried to find ways to believe I

wouldn't have doubt you know I've tried

to like talk in ways where I don't have

doubt I've tried to everything and

there's always just lingering doubt in

my mind of being like well what if

you don't what if you can't and it's

just the truth of my mind and regardless

of that over the past 5 years I've still

been able to perform

progress and be the best in the world

with that on my mind so who's to say

that I can't have that debt on my mind

while being a champion there's no rules

to it which why I've always said the

champion mentality the rules of being a

champion is that there are no rules it's

just whatever the champion does to win

that's it yeah there's a a great story

from Matthew Sayad so he's a sports

reporter he's obsessed with tennis and

he went to Wimbledon a few years ago and

a unique aspect of tennis over the last

decade or so has been that you had jovic

federa and Nadal three goats three

potentially literally goats all at the

same time all interchanging and

exchanging who won on this court or this

tour with this surface and he went to go

and watch them warm up and you go in and

you see Nadal and he's just ripped

absolutely shred it's all aggression

it's pure sort of raw animalistic energy

and then you go and see jovic and he's

sort of robotic uh very precise very uh

curated with the way that he moves

nothing is wasted and then you go and

see uh federa and he's playing trick

shots and he's laughing with the guy

that's woman he goes okay so if you were

to take any of those three approaches

and say in order for me to become a

world champion I must be a b or c well

you can't be all of them and all of them

are successful so what does it mean to

say that A or B or C are the right

approach in order for you to be

successful in the sport of tennis it

doesn't it means that each different

athlete has found a way that works for

them and when you try and take that

format and apply it to yourself what you

end up doing is take it's like trying to

put on somebody else's pair of shoes you

go well I'm a size 10 and they're a size

eight and this is not going to work yeah

well the truth is a B and C are all

wrong answers anything out there is a

wrong answer you have to build it in

yourself you know and like I talk about

the cookies of the intuition you know

over time you just you build intuition

when you can get into a flow state of

just trusting yourself to show up as you

are and if it's playful if it's intense

if it's quiet if it's loud if it's

doubtful if it's whatever if it's just

who you are and you're not needing to

put on any facade and you are able to

release that mask and show up in a flow

and trust your instincts and act on

Instinct I don't think you can be

beat what do you say to people who often

feel fear you mentioned the fears never

go away completely feeling fear sucks

not very comfortable yeah nobody wants

to feel fear I don't want to feel fear

but as somebody that's intimately

familiar with that and pressure what do

you say to people who notice it come up

or what do you do

yourself I would say when I start to

feel fear about something now I get it I

turn into excitement because in the past

when I've started to feel fear it's

because something big that I've worked

hard for that's really important to me

has started to come creeping up closer

and there's something beautiful about

The Human Experience of Stress and

Anxiety nervous fear and all those

things and just trying to embrace that

and lean into it

is the best way I've been able to handle

it when it comes to Performance but when

there's stuff that's actually like

impending fear of my health let's say

something that I can't just be like lean

into the excitement that you I might

have a health problem or something I

found again I've tried to embrace it and

just feel it and sit with it and feel

feelings as we've talked about many

times and that's helped but there's

another level of giving it the

validation that it deserves the feeling

the validation it deserves and that to

me that's being able to vocalize it out

loud and I think this is different for

everyone but for myself I'm a very

introverted person and I tend to keep

things to myself and I have a brain

that's very logical so it's like well

I'm scared about my health well you have

no reason to be scared about your health

you're healthy you do these tests and

all these things well I'm still anxious

and I'm like working through it

logically in my brain and I try and just

like diminish the feeling that I have

logically and work through it myself and

it just it's a dance and it works a

little bit but it doesn't fully go away

it just pushes it down but when I'm able

to vocalize it and express it out loud

and get the actual words out of my mouth

and share it with someone typically my

wife and able to regulate with my

partner and she's able to listen to me

and you know validate my feelings of how

I what I'm going through and of course

you feel like that you know XYZ this is

this is very normal I'm like oh yeah

you're right and then it's just all of a

sudden like ease and I'm like wow I feel

a lot better now you know I feel a lot

more calm and relaxed that I've released

it so I think a big thing for me it was

not feeling feelings numbing trying to

feel feelings but kind of logically

mansplaining it over myself and my head

and then it was actually letting it out

giving it like the attention it deserves

to be put out into the world and

communicate about it with someone who I

trust and cares about me do you ever get

or feel shame about feeling the fear

like oh this is so stupid why are you

beating yourself up again why are you so

worried about this you should be

stronger you shouldn't be worried in

this sort of a way because I think first

order emotions are bad but the really

really bad ones are the second and third

and fourth order emotions you know your

Shame about feeling fear and your guilt

about feeling Shame about feeling

fearful and your frustration about

feeling guilt about feeling fear you

know it's that it's all the way up I

think I used to but in you know the last

couple years in my attempt to just honor

things that come up as they come up it's

gotten a lot better in myself and I've

been able to catch myself now and you

know mindfulness is another buz word

that people overuse but if you're

mindful enough to catch yourself with

those first second and third emotions

and watch them come up and be like did I

just say that to myself right now like

that's crazy like I felt something and

then I call myself an idiot for feeling

that and I call myself a for

thinking I'm an idiot for feeling that

and that's that's an insane thought if

someone were listening to your brain

right now they'd put you in a mental

hospital you know Y and just being

conscious of that and being able to

listen to your own thoughts sometimes

help alleviate them so much and just be

like you're you're human and the more

you're able to communicate them with

other people that you trust and then be

like yeah me too I have the thoughts too

you know and you feel you feel a little

bit less crazy you know like we were

joking about

intrusive thoughts on the drive here and

I was like do you ever just think about

like turning your car into oncoming

traffic and just seeing what happens and

that's the huge thing with having a baby

sometimes I'm like what if she just what

if I just I'm holding her what if I just

dropped there and she just died and I'm

like holy you know you just have

these crazy thoughts but then I say that

to my wife she's like oh my God I

literally was I had a dream that I threw

her off the roof or something I'm like

that's a little crazy but me too you

know yeah and it's normal we're human

it's our brains just overthinking

putting ourselves into a position to

feel fear and then trying to make

ourselves actively avoid that fear so we

don't get there corre it's a human

response to avoid

pain I think this is one of the reasons

that uh people have sort of resonated a

lot with your story which has been this

very uh sometimes overly transparent

approach to opening up

about the again sort of boring fears you

know there's boring successes but

there's also these sort of very no one's

going to give you any accolades

for not dropping your daughter it's like

oh congratulations you didn't drop you

didn't drop your baby oh you did you're

a monster um but yeah just talking about

the real finer point of psychology when

you're a bit of an introspective person

so going back to the idea of confidence

and fears what do you think life would

have been like for you if you hadn't

a excellent question you know I was

thinking about that the other day of

how like like again the thought I was

having was when we were young we we're

told we can be anything then we realize

it's a lie and then we realize we're

telling ourselves it's a lie because we

actually just realize how much work it's

going to take and we'd rather believe

it's a lie than we're not willing to

work hard enough to achieve these things

and then it's kind of like this back and

forth of like can I or is it just too

hard or am I just too weak and it's just

back and forth and you know I'm just so

grateful I fell into something that I

was so passionate about that took a lot

of effort and work but that I also loved

to do and my body was built for my mind

was built for you know I was clearly

genetically built to be bodybuilder

mentally physically environmentally my

relationships all everything flowed

perfectly for me to be in this perfect

position and I think it's

just it's hard to say where I would end

up without this life and it's I don't

even like thinking about it because it's

hard but the effort that I put into this

would be really hard for me to put into

to something I didn't love so if I

hadn't gone for it which would be for me

back in

2017 when I was in college drinking

partying doing all the things and being

like you know what I'm not I'm going to

stop this my friends go out I'm going to

go to sleep I'm going to wake up early

I'm going to go to the gym I'm going to

eat six times a day I'm going to spend

my money on tuna and chicken breast

rather than six packs of beer and all

all these things and I'm just going to

drop out of school and I'm going to

travel and I'm going to try and get

sponsors I'm going to try and win shows

I'm going to do all this and I'm going

to take every risk I can and I didn't

even think about it you know when you're

young luckily you're you're at the

greatest opportunity in your life to

take risk and to fail and then you're

like well I'm 24 now I can just go

restart I suppose you're ignorant to the

price that you're going to have to pay

as well oh yeah do you think that you

would have done it had you have known

what it was going to obviously not

knowing the outcomes because that's put

you where you are where you're really

happy uh but going oh this is what it's

going to entail this is the price that

you're asking me to pay I don't know I'm

I I mean aware to I would have been too

ignorant to say no so yes I would have

for sure you know you can't know until

you're in it young dumb and full of Hope

yep well was it what was it you used to

say full of magic and rubber or

something yeah yeah made of rubber and

Magic yeah yeah yeah yeah it is dude you

you know

you all of the like things that happen

to you the bruises that you get when

you're younger just seem to bounce off

in some ways more easily and then you go

through this sort of period of not

hiding from the stuff that insults you

or that damages you and you go oh okay I

this thing has now happened and I need

to actually deal with it as opposed to

just using momentum or inertia or

distraction or whatever to get me

through it uh and then the goal is to

come out the other side and to actually

have done that work and now be anti

fragile right so you go from like

unconscious competence in the beginning

to conscious incompetence and then

hopefully to conscious competence

You' youed you fuled and included

whatever that whatever that challenge is

but um yeah it's it's funny to think

about the weird decisions that you make

one time decision so for me moving to

America was 33 years old like I don't

know should I not have had my life

together by then feels like I probably

should have done should I really be

about trying to change careers

and move is this not the age by which

you're supposed to have all of your life

got together and you're going to move to

this country on your own like talk to

people on the Internet and try and make

it into a career in like the most

competitive City in the entire world to

try and do it and see if it's going to

work with no it didn't even have the

Visa when I moved out here it was like

under review or whatever living in an

Airbnb and uh yeah do you think it's

possible to discover the limit of truly

what you're capable of like do you think

you'll achieve a point like I achieved

everything I was capable of

and are you working towards that or are

you just working

H it's going to be hard to do it within

this industry and it's one of the

reasons that I love sport increasingly

I'm using sport as an analogy for lots

of other things in life because you have

very tightly defined parameters of

success and failure yeah right you

either won or you didn't but a podcast

can always be a little bit better your

physique on stage three and a half weeks

time could be a little bit better but if

you win that's really all that matters

in the I will say from my experience

there are moments where you win and yes

and then you go back and you're like my

could have been a little bit better wow

so you even in the act of winning you've

found a way to uh s of want more for

sure well so I don't know I um there's a

part of me that is I mean this has been

the most the hardest I've ever worked

this last 12 months since we basically

since we were last together it's just been

been

unrelenting uh and and good and there's

a part of me that I want to look back

with pride of a time when I had the

energy and the lack of responsibility

and the youth and the time that I could

dedicate to something like this and go

yeah I I pushed myself as hard as I

could I got out of this everything that

I could too but after a while you do

start to think okay what are the

sacrifices that I'm making for this and

and how can I get 98% of the outcome

that I'm looking for but with only 50%

of the pain you know where are the areas

where I'm pushing unnecessarily that I

can claw back some quality of life and

especially in I guess this is the

double-edged sword for you tightly

defined parameters of success and

failure which means it's easy to work

out whether or not it was a w or an L

yeah but on the flip side of that

you it's such a zero SU game that

pulling back even a tiny little bit will

risk what ever the outcome is going to

be whereas when you're doing something

like in business right it's not about

being the number one supplement brand or

the number one energy drink brand or the

number one clothing brand or whatever

it's about reaching a creating a cool

company that you're proud of that

facilitates the lifestyle that you want

and is maybe able to give back and do

cool things within the industry that you

like being a part of some people there's

some people maybe for you the energy

drink is like you're little like there's

less pressure on me to have to be the

best because I just want to build

something cool but the podcast is where

all the pressure have to be the best so

it's almost like you're able to

alleviate some pressure on some effort

you put into the business but some

people the business is their number one

thing they're like I need to be the

number one energy drink in the world

that is true related to that you said I

found greater fulfillment in the Journey

of pursuing my goals than in the moment

of achieving them

why I'd say that comes to like the

question I asked you discovering what I

was capable of you know there's there

been so many times where I've been in a

prep and I

felt way too far behind to win and I'm

had an injury last year when I tore my

lat tore my bicep was in the hospital

like all these different things going on

and like there's no way that I can do

this like it's impossible and if I were

to ever ask myself in the past like do

you think you could win or get through

this and do this I'd be like no way it's

impossible but I was in it and I did it

and I accomplished it and I was like I'm

capable of so much more than my mind

understands and I think that's just the greatest

greatest

part of the journey that I've achieved

is like that understanding of what I'm

capable of and that belief in myself to

what I can accomplish and i' only came

through the Journey didn't come through

the winning it come through the

challenges that came along the journey

and coming through it and fighting

through it and the beauty of all that

and on top of that there's just been so

many moments in the midst of things

where like it's a workout or it's a diet

or I'm starving or I'm look doing

check-ins or something and I'm just

like this is incredible like I'm Peak

conditioned in the world right now

fighting to be the best in the world and

I'm living in that moment right now I'm

doing the This Is What It Takes when

people see something on stage this is

what they don't see or what I'm feeling

in my mind what no one will understand

what it takes to get there I get to

experience this every day and I think

it's just part of the human experience

of feeling in life that's just so

beautiful those boring normal victories

that contribute to the really impressive

ones exactly the boring victories yeah

think having way that people could

celebrate those on a daily basis me and

a friend came up with this idea of a

well done list so you have a done list

which is the I did today but a well

done list allows you to note down so uh

I I got through my training session even

though I felt really crap this morning

when I woke up and my mind was mean to

me like no one where does that go right

it's not Grand or ceremonious enough in

order to justify an Instagram post maybe

you'd be able to tell a particularly

mindful partner about it but it's you

don't even tell your friend you're going

out after you told your mindful partner

five days on a they'd yeah off yeah

you're miserable every day shut up uh

but yeah I think the opportunity to give

yourself a pat on the back like a well

done for today I have written on a

Post-It note on my bathroom mirror what

went well today mhm which is my reminder

for the well done last and uh yeah when

I think about it when I actually do that

practice which I need to do more uh but

when I do that practice on an evening

time I come up with the most boring

victories you know the most mundane

things um that person in the Starbucks

was annoying and I didn't react yeah you

know or I I dealt with it with Grace or

whatever like little things like that

that I do think over time actually

contribute you being a pretty impressive

human and a human that you're proud of

as well which is maybe even more

important mhm I've had those moments

someone comes up to me and like I didn't

know who to tell I just wanted to come

to you cuz like I felt safe talking to

you and they like to tell me something

and I walk away I'm like I feel good

about myself you know I'm that person

that they wanted to come to no one gives a

yeah I

uh there's definitely something about

the pursuit of goals being more

important than the achievement of them

as well

that Ryan long told me this story where

he says Uh there's three men on a ladder

one at the bottom one in the middle and

one at the top which one is best to be

he said the one that's still

climbing and I think

that having things isn't that fun

getting things is fun yeah and you know that's

that's

where it's sort of the vicious other

side of doing anything for the purpose

of achievement that when you end up

getting to the achievement you realize

that the achievement wasn't any it was

literally just the end point that gave

you Direction M and as soon as you do

get to that you know the idea of false

peaks in mountaineering so it's when you

think that you're at the top and you go

you realize oh I got to go down and

I got to go back up again but this one's

even higher it's like every achievement

is basically just a false Peak the whole

way up so that's what I really like hit

me and I thought was really cool about

I've always wanted to be a dad I've

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having a baby it's not having the baby

like I did it you know I have the kid

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what I'm excited to be is how you show

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entire for the rest of your life

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wisdom a checkout talk to me about Dad

life how is it it's been good it's been

really good the

first thing that hit me is just absolute

love and appreciation for my wife

especially watching her go through like

birth process and everything holy hell

women are incredible it was crazy

experiencing that was the the most

insane thing I had ever experienced in

my life how

so like she she wanted to do it

naturally she did it just all on her own

naturally she was that means without

pain killers yeah just just as nature is

you know like nothing in her so she was

in a tough ra dog this both just raw

doging in so much pain and there were so

many moments where like she was just sh

in pain and like losing it and I thought

she was going to like Snap like I need

the drugs I need the epidural whatever

and I was like babe come on you can do

this lock it in she like she was just

you didn't tell your wife to just Lo

lock it in I told her to absolutely bro

just lock in come on bro she was she had

me she had me pinching her like traps as

hard as I could like literally I was

like white knuckling her traps to try

and distract P try distract from the

pain just like it was incredible I love

the solution to pain being more pain

being more pain I know right her doctor

like you shouldn't be doing that I'm

like she's telling me to I'm not going

to say no exactly you tell her to tell

me not to but it it was just incredible

to experience all that and to see her in

such like an empowering moment and

overcoming so like there's zero chance I

would have gone through that like it was

so much pain and she just handled it

like a champ and then you go home and

you have to take care of a child and

you're not sleeping and you're doing all

these things and there's so much more

that comes into it so I think I just I

developed so much appreciation for you

know moms women my wife being able to

see all that and it's been really cool and

and

another kind of wakeup call that I had

in like there's two things I'll explain

the first one is just this concept I

thought of that your children eventually

will know exactly who you are for an

extended period of time they're going to

think of you as like a hero as a god is

perfect like your your parent who knows

everything and then they're going to

turn to a certain age and realize that

you're human and there's a lot of

you don't know and any like burdens you

have anything things you try and hide

from them they see through it all CU

they see you all the time there's no

hiding anything from them so you really

have to like be on your best you have to

work on your solve your problems

not be a passive aggressive not

do whatever your faults are you need to

fix them so you don't pass them on to

them and they're going to see them

eventually because you can't hide from

them you can pull whatever you want on

social media you can be nice and public

do all these things but at home there's

no hiding anything they're going to know

exactly who you are and I think that

like just responsibility that withheld

within that is just powerful and

beautiful and exciting there's nowhere

to escape right it's like accountability

yeah it's like a Navy SEAL hell week

that never stops you have this permanent

instructor over your shoulder at all

times the tiniest little interaction how

you deal with that one nappy change that

one evening that's four weeks after the

trip to the hospital at 3: in the

morning it's like you didn't sleep all

night you have multiple kids one

screaming one throwing at you

throwing food all over you burn the food

there's nothing eat all this and

then like how are you going to react

because they see it and they're going to

remember you know it's like it's all

being watched It's like there's cameras

in the house you know we have here trust

you to be able to turn fatherhood into a

performance sport not meant to be a

performance accountability to be your

best yeah yeah uh that's the first

lesson um the other one was it's more of

a moment it was a moment I'm already

going to get emotional thinking about

the moment it was she was like a night

where Bradley was being fussy she was

like crying a lot and I took her in the

back room and I just laid with her

walked around with her and she calmed

down and I just laid down and she

wouldn't sleep but she fell asleep on my

chest and I remember lying there and

like just putting my hand on her and I

was like like if you could ever just

without being able to put into words

experience what love is like it couldn't

be more powerful than that I was like

this is

like I can't there's no way I can put it

into words because I wouldn't do it

justice it was just pure love in that

moment I was like how can I love this

little thing so much it was the most

beautiful moment and all it was was

lying her with her sleeping on my chest

it was incredible and know every like

stress about work travel Olympia all

these things they just like wash away

and you're like it doesn't matter if I

have this this is it this is like what

I've always wanted this is all that

matters and it was the most perspective

changing little moment for matter of

minutes while she was noty on my chest

but it was the most incredible thing and

I think it's just allowed to alleviate a

lot of pressure I put on myself to

perform to succeed all these things

allowed me to separate that and when I

talk about the extrinsic goals of

winning in competition versus the morals

and values like it just made my morals

of values of family and relationship and

love so much stronger and it leave like

if you fail over here you have this and

that's all that matters I think the gym

oddly enough is that for a lot of guys

when they first start going I know it

was for me I remember that when I first

started going to the gym when I was at

Uni uh it gave me kind of like a safe

haven that I knew if I'd f planted in

some presentation that I had to give if

the girl that I was seeing broke up with

me if you know all of this stuff went

wrong at least I got a good training

session in so in one area of my life I

was making relatively forward progress

even if everything else had gone to

the rest of it a total dumpster fire

this one area is siloed off it's

compartmentalized and you know for a

long time maybe that was one of the safe

havens for you and now that is one of

the things that can be part of you know

dumpster fire maybe the best dumpster

fire but the rest of them are down here

too and then there's this one and then

there's another Safe Haven now which is

even more indestructible for sure yeah

it's the most EXC I can look at picture

if I ever I'm feeling down nervous

scared now I can look at a picture of

her and I feel better it's just like

this is amazing we spoke last time a

year and a bit ago about the uh oh no so

it was when we trained earlier on this

year about how

when you dads get to see their kid for

the first time sometimes the sort of

fatherhood compulsion doesn't kick in

immediately and I told you that story

about a meeting that I'd been to and one

of the guys put his hand in the air it

was this business meeting with a ton of

high powerered entrepreneurs everyone's

a millionaire or a billionaire I was

like the poorest stupidest person in the

room and they said anyone got any

questions they want some advice for and

this one dude put his hand up and I was

thinking it was going to be about the

cash flow conversion cycle for his

business or accounting or some stuff

like that and he went my wife's eight

months pregnant and I don't feel like

I'm going to be a good dad and I like oh

W now I'm interested sh and um you said

you'd had this conversation with a lot

of different guys and it's quite normal

it seems to be very um typical for

future dads wife's pregnant casc Cascade

of hormones all of that's going on but

they kind of aren't even sure is there a

baby in there like you just getting fat

like what's what is what's happening

here I'm not feeling anything I I

haven't seen anything I haven't held

anything how quickly did that switch

you it's hard to say cuz I thought it

turned on really quick and then it just

kept ramping up it was a dial it just

kept going and I was like holy I

didn't nearly like I thought but there

was a moment at one point where like I

saw this joke online and it was like my

husband does the things I can do and he

does the things I can or whatever and

it's like I breastfeed because he can't

he sleeps because I can't and there was

just a moment where she was like the

baby wanted courtne need to cry the baby

wanted to breastfeed she was taken care

of her I was in prep I needed sleep I

needed rest I needed to go into the

office I needed to travel all these

things and I felt like useless and I was

just like like I'm just this like

peasant over here this youthless being

over here you know and i' like just not

able to help her going through all this

stuff and I started to feel this weird

like pull of almost like guilt of being

like she's a little bit more connected

it wasn't so much about connection it

was just more so about my ability to

help her going through such a

challenging time of feeling helpless cuz

my wife is overwhelmed trying to become

the best mother she can be going through

the physical hormonal lack of sleep

transformation everything all the chaos

and I'm just over here like what

what can I do over here and kind of made

me feel a level of guilt on an aspect

and again she's so incredible I can like

talk with her and she would try and

soothe me I'm like I'm not trying to ask

you to help me right now I'm just trying

to say he I feel I feel shitty that I

can't help you can you help me feel less

shitty about not being able to help you

like come on yeah but no I was like no I

just want to be able to be there for you

more she's like you just need to be here

for me that's that's it I'm like all

right well I'm here I definitely think

that the uh like totally uselessness

that you end up feeling as you're on the

sidelines watching your wife give birth

kind of just extends out look at me

talking like as a guy that doesn't have

kids talking about this um but it seems

like that kind of just continues extend

out from you know the next 6 to 9 months

because you're there as a well-meaning

coach on the sidelines go on honey great

work you yep hooray uh you basically

moral support you're one of those

mascots in the big fluffy outfit that's

you know comes in at the halftime show

and maybe gives a bit of alleviation and

then the players go back out on the

field the work good

job uh how have you found being able to

let go of perfection ISM in other areas

of life given that you dial in an awful

lot whether it's with business or

branding or copyrighting or the way that

you and Calvin film your content and put

that out in a sort of nicely controlled

curated way the way that you step on

stage your knowledge of your diet and

your sleep and your training and your

Macros and all that stuff and then

you've just got this thing which is not

subject to Chris's desires and will do

what it's going to do and also your uh

self assessment of your own performance

as a father and desire to be as good as

possible and so on and so is this just

another domain for you to find holes in

in hell of a question

um it's funny because in aspects of my

life I'm the least perfectionist person

ever I'm very just like it's good enough

just send it and then the things that

are really important to me I can be a

huge perfectionist but which is where

you know

bodybuilding relationships all these

things I can start to be a little overly

hard on myself so I think even that

contrast of balance of different sides

of my personality has helped me

alleviate it I'm not not everything

needs to be perfect I'm like that stuff

the the YouTube video will get there

Kevin don't worry about that these guys

help me with the business that's all

fine this is what I need to be perfect

on so at least it's not everything but

even within that just being able to

compete at such a high level for so many

years I've seen so many people who have

been so obsessed with being especially

in bodybuilding where everything is

weighed everything's about a look like

when it's something where like you know

something was on your mind so you lost

30 minutes of sleep last night you

didn't enter a deep REM sleep so you H

into some water had higher cortisol and

you wake up and you look different the

next day like that's how specific a

physique sport is when you're that lean

and dialed in that anything can change

it you can really start get in your

head about it and I've seen so

many people overthink of to the grain of

rice being perfect and eating it at the

same time every day and everything and

needs to be so perfect and just the

stress of that making them worse that

I've pulled back from the perfectionist

of it and just tried to been like

where's diminishing returns what's going

to keep my mental peace where what what

cookie is going to alleviate enough

stress that's actually more beneficial

than eating healthy where's where does

that balance lie you know you pull and

you test and you tug and you go back and

forth a little bit and you just figure

it out over the years and luckily I've

I've just learned to trust my intuition

in a lot of things and I think in being

a dad now I my intuition is not as

strong as being Mr Olympia so I'm

refiguring that one out yes luckily my

wife is just an incredible mom as she is

so a lot of the time chion I just ask

her if I don't know what to do I'm like

what do I do how do I do this are you

saying that Cony is Johan for uh child

rearing oh yeah for sure she's incred

she could be anyone's coach for child

rearing somehow she's just built for it

it's funny that the point you're making

I think is the stress of trying to be

perfect will damage your performance

more quickly than the imperfections will

yes which is where the cookie comes in

the cookie all important cookie uh about

your wife you

said being with someone who allows

others to be their best selves in your

presence will quite literally change the

world around you I get to wake up beside

that someone every day and every night I

go to sleep with more reason to be

grateful for you you will always be my

life's greatest

blessing what's your advice for choosing

a good partner I think that sounds like

the summary that everybody wants to to do that but you know so many

do that but you know so many relationships don't seem to have that

relationships don't seem to have that positive dynamic in it so what was it

positive dynamic in it so what was it about Courtney that made you choose her

about Courtney that made you choose her or are there any uh fundamental

or are there any uh fundamental principles that you think people should

principles that you think people should be looking out

for I would say before what you're looking out for it's what you're putting

looking out for it's what you're putting out you know the law I don't understand

out you know the law I don't understand the Law of Attraction exactly how it is

the Law of Attraction exactly how it is but what you

but what you put out you

put out you attract if you're being your authentic

attract if you're being your authentic self our both word today you're being

self our both word today you're being your true self you're speaking about

your true self you're speaking about what's really important to you you're

what's really important to you you're putting out the energy that you care

putting out the energy that you care about that you want to get back into the

about that you want to get back into the world and you're being real you're going

world and you're being real you're going to get that back if you're putting on a

to get that back if you're putting on a show and you're chasing these

show and you're chasing these inauthentic goals that are for other

inauthentic goals that are for other people or to keep up with Society or

people or to keep up with Society or pressure their parents or whatever it

pressure their parents or whatever it might be you're going to start

might be you're going to start attracting people who are attracted to

attracting people who are attracted to those goals and that energy which isn't

those goals and that energy which isn't your real self rather than who you

your real self rather than who you really are and the incredible thing of

really are and the incredible thing of how me and Courtney met was I put out my

how me and Courtney met was I put out my first like YouTube video crying talking

first like YouTube video crying talking about something really emotional that I

about something really emotional that I had gone through the year I was in the

had gone through the year I was in the hospital talking about a really scary

hospital talking about a really scary time how how fearful I was being really

time how how fearful I was being really raw like first time ever talking about

raw like first time ever talking about it therapy session on camera crying and

it therapy session on camera crying and she saw that and she's like wow this guy

she saw that and she's like wow this guy is different like I've never like this

is different like I've never like this guy just came second in the Olympia and

guy just came second in the Olympia and he put out a video crying about like

he put out a video crying about like like his emotions going through this

like his emotions going through this like that's different I like that and

like that's different I like that and then she reached out to me and that's

then she reached out to me and that's how we That's What attracted to us it

how we That's What attracted to us it was that energy of authenticity and

was that energy of authenticity and emotion and rawness and realness that

emotion and rawness and realness that attracted us together and that was the

attracted us together and that was the foundation of our relationship of how we

foundation of our relationship of how we were going to build things going forward

were going to build things going forward so I think instead of what I was looking

so I think instead of what I was looking for it was what I was putting out in

for it was what I was putting out in that moment and she was attracted to it

that moment and she was attracted to it because that's who she is you know when

because that's who she is you know when I say she she's the light that lets

I say she she's the light that lets everyone be their best selves you know

everyone be their best selves you know she's the type of person where all go to

she's the type of person where all go to the bathro room and come out and someone

the bathro room and come out and someone will be crying and it'll be like or the

will be crying and it'll be like or the store clerk checking out her groceries

store clerk checking out her groceries is telling her about her child who XY

is telling her about her child who XY andz and all I'm like how I'm like what

andz and all I'm like how I'm like what do you she like I didn't say anything

do you she like I didn't say anything people just tell me all their stuff I'm

people just tell me all their stuff I'm like it but it's beautiful people just

like it but it's beautiful people just feel so safe and comfortable around her

feel so safe and comfortable around her because she's such an amazing Like

because she's such an amazing Like Loving selfless person it's just who her

Loving selfless person it's just who her it's her nature and she doesn't need to

it's her nature and she doesn't need to be anything other than that it's just

be anything other than that it's just all who she's always been and I just

all who she's always been and I just love that and I I'm like the protector

love that and I I'm like the protector of that energy cuz she gives out so much

of that energy cuz she gives out so much so I try and like protect her and then

so I try and like protect her and then in the confines of our home she gives me

in the confines of our home she gives me the space to be myself and be my raw

the space to be myself and be my raw self of what she saw and protects me in

self of what she saw and protects me in there it's so funny

there it's so funny that if you tried to be somebody else

that if you tried to be somebody else the person that ended up making you a

the person that ended up making you a better version of you wouldn't have even

better version of you wouldn't have even been interested like if you tried to put

been interested like if you tried to put on some sort of a show if that video

on some sort of a show if that video hadn't been there if you kept on closing

hadn't been there if you kept on closing down your emotions that was the very

down your emotions that was the very thing that she was going to be most

thing that she was going to be most attracted to I think this is one of the

attracted to I think this is one of the problems again with the jovic Nadal

problems again with the jovic Nadal federa way that this is the way that

federa way that this is the way that you're supposed to attract we understand

you're supposed to attract we understand what it is that women are attracted to

what it is that women are attracted to and I'm like maybe on average but you

and I'm like maybe on average but you can only put on a facade for so long

can only put on a facade for so long yeah and everyone's different yeah

yeah and everyone's different yeah you're going to end up in a relationship

you're going to end up in a relationship with somebody that loves you for not you

with somebody that loves you for not you and it's going to be exhausting yeah

and it's going to be exhausting yeah some people might not like that version

some people might not like that version of Courtney a lot of women might think

of Courtney a lot of women might think I'm I would be overly emotional and weak

I'm I would be overly emotional and weak or something and that that's fine but

or something and that that's fine but they're not for you they're not and

they're not for you they're not and you're not for them yeah and I think one

you're not for them yeah and I think one of the cool things I've discovered in

of the cool things I've discovered in our relationship was your ability to be

our relationship was your ability to be a burden to your partner is

a burden to your partner is important like for you to feel safe to

important like for you to feel safe to be a burden to your partner and for them

be a burden to your partner and for them to still show up and love you and then

to still show up and love you and then you're like oh wow like I don't need to

you're like oh wow like I don't need to give you anything in return you're not

give you anything in return you're not expecting anything in return I can put

expecting anything in return I can put my burdens on you and you love me and

my burdens on you and you love me and that makes me feel safe and love you so

that makes me feel safe and love you so when you put your burns on me I'll do

when you put your burns on me I'll do the same it just becomes this like

the same it just becomes this like burning Circle of Love You Know It's

burning Circle of Love You Know It's Just

Just I I feel like that's such an important

I I feel like that's such an important thing to find someone who you just feel

thing to find someone who you just feel safe being a burden to you're not going

safe being a burden to you're not going to intentionally be a burden but if you

to intentionally be a burden but if you it's you're sometimes you suck you know

it's you're sometimes you suck you know sometimes you're a burden and if you

sometimes you're a burden and if you don't even feel safe being like that

don't even feel safe being like that around your partner you have to just

around your partner you have to just withhold things from them and put on

withhold things from them and put on that show you're never going to feel

that show you're never going to feel like safe around them and you're not

like safe around them and you're not going to want want to be there for them

going to want want to be there for them as much when they're being a burden as

as much when they're being a burden as well just become these two people

well just become these two people dividing and conquering all your

dividing and conquering all your problems rather than taking on the world

problems rather than taking on the world together

together I really like that ideaa

I really like that ideaa that here I am not fully competent

that here I am not fully competent slightly broken in need of help oh and

slightly broken in need of help oh and you're still here yeah you didn't leave

you're still here yeah you didn't leave yeah yeah that's pretty beautiful in

yeah yeah that's pretty beautiful in other news this episode is brought to

other news this episode is brought to you by function I wanted a better way to

you by function I wanted a better way to track what was happening inside of my

track what was happening inside of my body and that is why I partnered with

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the chief medical officer function has a 300,000 person weight list but every

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Monday they open a few spots for modern wisdom listeners you can bypass the

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to function health.com slod wisdom that's function health.com slod wisdom

that's function health.com slod wisdom what do you wish more women knew about

what do you wish more women knew about how they can help their man become a

how they can help their man become a better version of himself because it

better version of himself because it seems like Courtney is very much able to

seems like Courtney is very much able to do that for you

do that for you what do I wish more women knew yeah I

what do I wish more women knew yeah I think the relationship that you guys

think the relationship that you guys have which is very open and emotionally

have which is very open and emotionally honest seems to be one that a lot of

honest seems to be one that a lot of women would want M uh obviously guys too

women would want M uh obviously guys too but uh I don't hear a massive amount of

but uh I don't hear a massive amount of advice for women about how they can

advice for women about how they can cultivate an environment that allows a

cultivate an environment that allows a man to be to flourish emotionally in the

man to be to flourish emotionally in the way that you are what do you wish more

way that you are what do you wish more women knew about how they could help

women knew about how they could help their man be more emotional safely

their man be more emotional safely that's a good

question I think being able to both understand and for the woman to

to both understand and for the woman to be able to express in an honest way and

be able to express in an honest way and she has to believe this that like I was

she has to believe this that like I was talking about how like TR confidence is

talking about how like TR confidence is truth you know you might want a strong

truth you know you might want a strong man up White Knight on his horse but if

man up White Knight on his horse but if he's not how he feels if he's not really

he's not how he feels if he's not really that person then it's not

that person then it's not really confident he's just putting on a

really confident he's just putting on a facade to please you so if you can truly

facade to please you so if you can truly show him and share with him and

show him and share with him and communicate with him that even when he's

communicate with him that even when he's feeling down and when he feels low when

feeling down and when he feels low when he feels emotional and all these things

he feels emotional and all these things him being able to share that with you is

him being able to share that with you is actually confidence and strength which

actually confidence and strength which men want to always exemplify you're

men want to always exemplify you're teaching him a new way to exemplify that

teaching him a new way to exemplify that strength that he wants to be and even if

strength that he wants to be and even if it's only within the confines of you two

it's only within the confines of you two no one else needs to know about it but

no one else needs to know about it but you tell him like when you share it with

you tell him like when you share it with me that you feel like that you're

me that you feel like that you're emotional that you hate yourself that

emotional that you hate yourself that you don't think you can do this when you

you don't think you can do this when you share that with me I think you're strong

share that with me I think you're strong like I think you're capable and I I

like I think you're capable and I I think you're strong just for sharing

think you're strong just for sharing that not because I know you can overcome

that not because I know you can overcome it but just for saying that out loud

it but just for saying that out loud that's strength and the man could be

that's strength and the man could be like wow like you know the woman

like wow like you know the woman has to believe that you know those are

has to believe that you know those are my beliefs that sharing that is strong

my beliefs that sharing that is strong and there's a lot of things where I

and there's a lot of things where I would still feel judged and nervous to

would still feel judged and nervous to say how I feel on online on on a podcast

say how I feel on online on on a podcast with hundreds of thousands of people

with hundreds of thousands of people listening but to her to my wife no you

listening but to her to my wife no you know I feel I share something with her

know I feel I share something with her and she's going to always see me as who

and she's going to always see me as who I am and it's strong to share and that

I am and it's strong to share and that I'm safe to do so it's strange that a

I'm safe to do so it's strange that a lot of people would feel more

lot of people would feel more comfortable sharing that stuff with

comfortable sharing that stuff with somebody that wasn't their

somebody that wasn't their partner that or what if they change the

partner that or what if they change the way that they see me this isn't holding

way that they see me this isn't holding a masculine frame this isn't being the

a masculine frame this isn't being the protector provider dominant Alpha that

protector provider dominant Alpha that I'm supposed to be or need to be in

I'm supposed to be or need to be in order to be able to keep her attraction

order to be able to keep her attraction triggers or whatever it is going yeah

triggers or whatever it is going yeah it's sad it is it is sad and you it's

it's sad it is it is sad and you it's everything's in moderation and balance

everything's in moderation and balance in his life you know you can't be a

in his life you know you can't be a puddle on the floor 24 hours a day can't

puddle on the floor 24 hours a day can't be a puddle on the floor 24 hours a day

be a puddle on the floor 24 hours a day you know there

you know there there's where where are your weaknesses

there's where where are your weaknesses are you always a strong masculine person

are you always a strong masculine person you can't show it or you always a puddle

you can't show it or you always a puddle on the floor and you need to work on

on the floor and you need to work on being more masculine so one way or the

being more masculine so one way or the other you got to find that balance and

other you got to find that balance and everyone's on a different end of the

everyone's on a different end of the spectrum and everyone's partner will

spectrum and everyone's partner will want a different spectrum and then you

want a different spectrum and then you just got to find the person that fits in

just got to find the person that fits in there and obviously over the years now

there and obviously over the years now I've proven to Courtney that in those

I've proven to Courtney that in those moments where I've broken down and feel

moments where I've broken down and feel like I'm worthless and can't do

like I'm worthless and can't do something I've risen up and done it and

something I've risen up and done it and I've always shown up to I've always

I've always shown up to I've always stepped up to the plate I've always been

stepped up to the plate I've always been what she needed I've always done what I

what she needed I've always done what I needed to do and I've proven to her that

needed to do and I've proven to her that no matter how crumbled I feel in the

no matter how crumbled I feel in the moment I've still become a better man

moment I've still become a better man and grown whether or not I've

and grown whether or not I've accomplished what I've wanted I've still

accomplished what I've wanted I've still grown been a better man and shown up for

grown been a better man and shown up for her where and when I could so she has

her where and when I could so she has the trust in me now whatever weakness I

the trust in me now whatever weakness I show her there will be strength too you

show her there will be strength too you know if my life was a movie and someone

know if my life was a movie and someone were to watch it I hope they'd be

were to watch it I hope they'd be inspired to take risks not just risks to

inspired to take risks not just risks to achieve success but Embrace feeling both

achieve success but Embrace feeling both pride and shame fear and excitement

pride and shame fear and excitement personally I want to experience as much

personally I want to experience as much life as possible and that only happens

life as possible and that only happens when you embrace the highs and the lows

when you embrace the highs and the lows and this is your thing about not just

and this is your thing about not just numbing the bad but numbing the good

numbing the bad but numbing the good numbing The Joy just revisit that for me

numbing The Joy just revisit that for me cuz I think a lot of people feel like if

cuz I think a lot of people feel like if 0 to 100 is the range of Human

0 to 100 is the range of Human Experience they kind of sit in 40 to 60

Experience they kind of sit in 40 to 60 yeah what did expanding that window out

yeah what did expanding that window out look like yeah I mean this kind of hit

look like yeah I mean this kind of hit me a few years ago when I was thinking

me a few years ago when I was thinking about I felt like I had a glass ceiling

about I felt like I had a glass ceiling of joy that I could feel I was like I

of joy that I could feel I was like I can I I feel happy but like it's I'm not

can I I feel happy but like it's I'm not like overjoyed and excited and like oh

like overjoyed and excited and like oh like

like ecstatic and then my therapist put it

ecstatic and then my therapist put it back on me she's like well what about

back on me she's like well what about the SE what about the floor do you have

the SE what about the floor do you have a floor of negative that you're willing

a floor of negative that you're willing to feel I'm like yeah like I don't want

to feel I'm like yeah like I don't want to feel the bad you she's like well they

to feel the bad you she's like well they expand at the same time you open up a

expand at the same time you open up a broad spectrum of emotion and you build

broad spectrum of emotion and you build your heart to feel these things and if

your heart to feel these things and if you don't have highs you don't have lows

you don't have highs you don't have lows it doesn't come if you numb the bad you

it doesn't come if you numb the bad you numb the good and that's kind of where

numb the good and that's kind of where that all came from so learning to

that all came from so learning to embrace all things and the funny thing

embrace all things and the funny thing is when you learn to embrace them

is when you learn to embrace them they're way more fleeting than you

they're way more fleeting than you realize to sit on something in your mind

realize to sit on something in your mind for a while to stress about and not want

for a while to stress about and not want to feel it it lingers for a long period

to feel it it lingers for a long period of time but to just embrace it and to

of time but to just embrace it and to feel it to cry to express it to whatever

feel it to cry to express it to whatever whatever however needs to express itself

whatever however needs to express itself out of you it happens a lot quicker than

out of you it happens a lot quicker than you think and you're able to move

you think and you're able to move through it and then when you look back

through it and then when you look back at it you're like that was kind of

at it you're like that was kind of beautiful you know like people love

beautiful you know like people love watching sad movies and crying sometimes

watching sad movies and crying sometimes and you're sad in the movie you're like

and you're sad in the movie you're like that was really sad but you you go

that was really sad but you you go back and you watch another sad movie you

back and you watch another sad movie you we like feeling things we enjoy emotion

we like feeling things we enjoy emotion it's The Human Experience is highs and

it's The Human Experience is highs and lows there is no high without lows and I

lows there is no high without lows and I think just being able to accept that

think just being able to accept that that there's inevitably going to be

that there's inevitably going to be times in your life and the more you can

times in your life and the more you can lean into them and feel them the more

lean into them and feel them the more you can lean into feeling to the high

you can lean into feeling to the high ones as well and it's just part of the

ones as well and it's just part of the journey it's interesting uh personally I

journey it's interesting uh personally I want to experience as much life as

want to experience as much life as possible I think when people think about

possible I think when people think about experiencing lots of life it's

experiencing lots of life it's adventures and it's travel and so on but

adventures and it's travel and so on but the range of Human Experience you can

the range of Human Experience you can have regardless of what circumstance

have regardless of what circumstance you're in regardless of the situation or

you're in regardless of the situation or the flight or the destination or

the flight or the destination or whatever uh a lot of that is capped just

whatever uh a lot of that is capped just by our preparedness to feel different

by our preparedness to feel different things yeah and uh yeah there's an awful

things yeah and uh yeah there's an awful lot of Adventure kind of to be had just

lot of Adventure kind of to be had just by opening yourself up to different

by opening yourself up to different experiences I often think about how many

experiences I often think about how many people sort of go through life just

people sort of go through life just within that 40 to

within that 40 to 60% range for sure of emotions and you

60% range for sure of emotions and you think oh my God you know you had this

think oh my God you know you had this unique Machinery up there in your head

unique Machinery up there in your head for 60 70 80 90 years and you got to

for 60 70 80 90 years and you got to explore like this one square of it over

explore like this one square of it over and over and over and over and over

and over and over and over and over again yeah and who why are we told that

again yeah and who why are we told that sadness is bad you know why is fear and

sadness is bad you know why is fear and sadness have to be a negative emotion I

sadness have to be a negative emotion I was I was thinking about the other day

was I was thinking about the other day and I have no idea but if you what if

and I have no idea but if you what if you were to raise someone and somehow

you were to raise someone and somehow not

not connecting the concept of bad negative

connecting the concept of bad negative to sadness and fear and anxiety and all

to sadness and fear and anxiety and all these things and it just being like it's

these things and it just being like it's just an emotion it's just an emotion

just an emotion it's just an emotion there's not good emotions there's no mad

there's not good emotions there's no mad emotions they just feeling I wonder if

emotions they just feeling I wonder if you could raise someone to have that

you could raise someone to have that belief in them what it would be like

belief in them what it would be like because the reality is it's true there's

because the reality is it's true there's no there are no bad emotions everything

no there are no bad emotions everything has a purpose and why it comes up and it

has a purpose and why it comes up and it helps process events in our life

helps process events in our life something happens that we don't know how

something happens that we don't know how to process we have feelings and emotions

to process we have feelings and emotions around it and then thoughts come

around it and then thoughts come afterwards it's just how our brains

afterwards it's just how our brains operate again it's that it's not the

operate again it's that it's not the fear or the shame it's the guilt about

fear or the shame it's the guilt about the fear and it's the agitation about

the fear and it's the agitation about the guilt about the fear because

the guilt about the fear because somewhere we've been taught that we

somewhere we've been taught that we should have guilt and fear and shame

should have guilt and fear and shame about the shame and guilt and fear where

about the shame and guilt and fear where does it come from I don't know man I

does it come from I don't know man I think you know a lot of the time we

think you know a lot of the time we don't feel comfortable to open up about

don't feel comfortable to open up about that stuff uh we

are ashamed I I think shame is is a really

ashamed I I think shame is is a really big driver uh shame and fear are two

big driver uh shame and fear are two sort of fundamental drivers to a lot of

sort of fundamental drivers to a lot of of bad emotions I'm worried about what

of bad emotions I'm worried about what will happen if I allow myself to feel

will happen if I allow myself to feel this thing there's the fear and I feel

this thing there's the fear and I feel uh guilty and less for having that

uh guilty and less for having that emotion that's the shame those to me at

emotion that's the shame those to me at least personally are massive drivers for

least personally are massive drivers for that I don't want to

that I don't want to appear weak or vulnerable or incompetent

appear weak or vulnerable or incompetent or not in Mastery uh I don't want to

or not in Mastery uh I don't want to risk this maybe this is the real me

risk this maybe this is the real me maybe this version of me that doesn't

maybe this version of me that doesn't have it all together like oh my God

have it all together like oh my God should you not have it all together are

should you not have it all together are you not supposed to be someone that's

you not supposed to be someone that's you know that is a a big driver I think

you know that is a a big driver I think for a lot of people and uh have you

for a lot of people and uh have you found it more difficult as

found it more difficult as you're success and popularity and eyes

you're success and popularity and eyes on you have grown have you found that

on you have grown have you found that more difficult that that battling with

more difficult that that battling with that shame of how you need to be and

that shame of how you need to be and whatnot I think so yeah um it waxes and

whatnot I think so yeah um it waxes and wanes MH there's periods where it's

wanes MH there's periods where it's better and periods where it's worse um

better and periods where it's worse um currently going through a period where

currently going through a period where it's worse like this year has just been

it's worse like this year has just been an awful lot

an awful lot of uh uncertainty like personal

of uh uncertainty like personal uncertainty uh like a pullback health

uncertainty uh like a pullback health spin like really rough autoimmune moldy

spin like really rough autoimmune moldy stuff this year which we need to talk

stuff this year which we need to talk about on the Vlog uh has just been so

about on the Vlog uh has just been so scary because it's the the main thing

scary because it's the the main thing that it takes away it's it's like a it's

that it takes away it's it's like a it's literally like somebody designed a

literally like somebody designed a personal pathology just for me one of

personal pathology just for me one of the main areas of the brain that it

the main areas of the brain that it impacts is your ability to recall words

impacts is your ability to recall words it's like that's my only job my

it's like that's my only job my only job that's what's affecting you

only job that's what's affecting you right now your thing yeah all the time

right now your thing yeah all the time so my only job is to recall words when

so my only job is to recall words when I'm either writing or speaking and I

I'm either writing or speaking and I forget people's names like Mis I

forget people's names like Mis I misremembering people's names all the

misremembering people's names all the time trying to find a word and having to

time trying to find a word and having to substitute it for something else which

substitute it for something else which wasn't the thing that I meant it's so

wasn't the thing that I meant it's so it's so annoying it's so frustrating and

it's so annoying it's so frustrating and that has sort of pushed me very quickly

that has sort of pushed me very quickly into a place of fear which is oh my God

into a place of fear which is oh my God like what if this is the way that you're

like what if this is the way that you're going to be forever the only reason that

going to be forever the only reason that people liked you is because you were

people liked you is because you were able to say these things the competence

able to say these things the competence is being taken away in that it it cut at

is being taken away in that it it cut at the very epicenter of what I presumed

the very epicenter of what I presumed and and assumed that my value was was to

and and assumed that my value was was to be able to offer the world and it's you

be able to offer the world and it's you just about managed to get yourself to a

just about managed to get yourself to a place where you'd achieved something

place where you'd achieved something that you were proud of and the very

that you were proud of and the very thing that allowed you to achieve it has

thing that allowed you to achieve it has now been risked being taken away from

now been risked being taken away from you it's scary yeah has the intention

you it's scary yeah has the intention behind the goals you're thinking

behind the goals you're thinking changed over the years that it felt like

changed over the years that it felt like it impacted that mentally does it feel

it impacted that mentally does it feel like your your path doesn't line up with

like your your path doesn't line up with your

your like authentic goals nearly as much no I

like authentic goals nearly as much no I don't think so um you know the reason

don't think so um you know the reason that I started the show originally was I

that I started the show originally was I didn't understand myself and I hoped

didn't understand myself and I hoped that if I spoke to enough people that

that if I spoke to enough people that were experts maybe they'd be able to

were experts maybe they'd be able to help and uh that's still the case you

help and uh that's still the case you know these conversations the ones that

know these conversations the ones that we've had the one that we had last year

we've had the one that we had last year the training Vlog we did earlier this

the training Vlog we did earlier this year all of those things I take little

year all of those things I take little bits and pieces away that help me

bits and pieces away that help me understand myself and the world around

understand myself and the world around me uh

me uh then you do start to sort of layer on

then you do start to sort of layer on top of that hope and expectation and and

top of that hope and expectation and and um like performance in a good way you

um like performance in a good way you know stepping up to the plate and

know stepping up to the plate and wanting to really get the best

wanting to really get the best conversation you can uh and this

conversation you can uh and this pressure that sort of comes along with

pressure that sort of comes along with that uh it's very much still the thing

that uh it's very much still the thing that I think I was meant to do but I

that I think I was meant to do but I don't know it be like being a

don't know it be like being a bodybuilder

bodybuilder and tearing a lat before you start

and tearing a lat before you start shrinking yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

shrinking yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah out of no sort of choice of

yeah yeah out of no sort of choice of your own and really they're not you sort

your own and really they're not you sort of scrabbling around trying to find a

of scrabbling around trying to find a solution to fix it and uh yeah it's

solution to fix it and uh yeah it's rough I bet well I don't connect any of

rough I bet well I don't connect any of my value to your intelligence Chris any

my value to your intelligence Chris any of your value to your intelligence I

of your value to your intelligence I appreciate

appreciate that don't stress in the face of

that don't stress in the face of adversity make adversity something you

adversity make adversity something you desire for an opportunity to

desire for an opportunity to grow it sounds an awful lot like

grow it sounds an awful lot like probably what I need to take a little

probably what I need to take a little bit of advice

bit of advice from it could be interpreted in a you

from it could be interpreted in a you can still stress about it it's okay to

can still stress about it it's okay to feel the stress more so the stress that

feel the stress more so the stress that leads to avoiding the

leads to avoiding the adversity

adversity because you know I and the other funny

because you know I and the other funny thing that I've thought about very

thing that I've thought about very related to this is going through

related to this is going through adversity you my life is very revolved

adversity you my life is very revolved around competing in olympias when I go

around competing in olympias when I go through adversity now I'm like this

through adversity now I'm like this could be a part of my speech you know I

could be a part of my speech you know I tore my lat last year I'm like when I

tore my lat last year I'm like when I win this Olympia and I stand up on stage

win this Olympia and I stand up on stage and I tell people I tore my lat in the

and I tell people I tore my lat in the middle of this prep they're going be

middle of this prep they're going be like oh my God and it's going to make

like oh my God and it's going to make this story that much cooler you know and

this story that much cooler you know and it's going to it's going to push me

it's going to it's going to push me Beyond to the levels of which I know I'm

Beyond to the levels of which I know I'm capable of accomplishing it's going to

capable of accomplishing it's going to show me that when something feels

show me that when something feels impossible it's not until it's not you

impossible it's not until it's not you know I got to keep pushing through and

know I got to keep pushing through and figuring it out so the stress is okay to

figuring it out so the stress is okay to feel in adversity it's where the stress

feel in adversity it's where the stress leads you that you need to avoid you

leads you that you need to avoid you need to prevent the stress from being

need to prevent the stress from being strong enough to make you avoid

strong enough to make you avoid adversity in the first place if you

adversity in the first place if you start to feel stressed about adversity I

start to feel stressed about adversity I think diving right into it is like the

think diving right into it is like the secret for

secret for growth if your definition of success is

growth if your definition of success is win or lose giving everything you've got

win or lose giving everything you've got and growing or learning along the way

and growing or learning along the way then you're setting yourself up for

then you're setting yourself up for success I really think the biggest cheat

success I really think the biggest cheat code in life is just going after it and

code in life is just going after it and not being concerned of whether or not

not being concerned of whether or not you fail at one specific task instead

you fail at one specific task instead understanding the big picture what your

understanding the big picture what your long-term goal is and knowing if you

long-term goal is and knowing if you keep driving forward and never

keep driving forward and never quit in the end you will

succeed great quote I've based a lot of my life in the

quote I've based a lot of my life in the past about my definition of success and

past about my definition of success and my definition of being a champion my

my definition of being a champion my definition of winning and I think it all

definition of winning and I think it all just comes down to you know again your

just comes down to you know again your values when I'm old what's the end of

values when I'm old what's the end of this look like you know my values of

this look like you know my values of being the best partner father person I

being the best partner father person I can

can be when I'm 50 if I have five or six or

be when I'm 50 if I have five or six or seven or eight or nine or 10 olympias

seven or eight or nine or 10 olympias are any of those affected by that no so

are any of those affected by that no so in this short-term goal of this moment

in this short-term goal of this moment of me wanting to win is this very

of me wanting to win is this very important yes but is the pressure of my

important yes but is the pressure of my life and value and worth dependent on

life and value and worth dependent on that no it's not it's the big picture of

that no it's not it's the big picture of my life that I'm focusing on of who I

my life that I'm focusing on of who I want to become going through all these

want to become going through all these things so if I win an Olympia how do I

things so if I win an Olympia how do I want to win that Olympia who do I want

want to win that Olympia who do I want to be when I win that Olympia how do I

to be when I win that Olympia how do I want to win it how do I want to show up

want to win it how do I want to show up my relationships if I lose that Olympia

my relationships if I lose that Olympia how do I want to lose who do I want to

how do I want to lose who do I want to be when I lose who am I becoming through

be when I lose who am I becoming through all these little challenges and goals

all these little challenges and goals along the way that aren't the big

along the way that aren't the big picture who am I becoming which is the

picture who am I becoming which is the big picture and I think that's so

big picture and I think that's so important to for me to understand it

important to for me to understand it everything that you choose to do and how

everything that you choose to do and how you handle it is shaping who you're

you handle it is shaping who you're becoming and at the end of the day when

becoming and at the end of the day when you're old and have grandkids and CH in

you're old and have grandkids and CH in your life you're the culmination of

your life you're the culmination of everything you've accomplished but also

everything you've accomplished but also how you accomplished it and how you

how you accomplished it and how you reacted to

reacted to it what's a big picture what do you want

it what's a big picture what do you want to become isn't it interesting that you

to become isn't it interesting that you could have you know the same mantle

could have you know the same mantle piece above the fire that's got however

piece above the fire that's got however many olympias on it and objectively when

many olympias on it and objectively when grandkids are bouncing on your knee they

grandkids are bouncing on your knee they look and see the same thing but the

look and see the same thing but the person behind them and the experiences

person behind them and the experiences that they went through and who they

that they went through and who they became in the process can be totally

became in the process can be totally different which kind of shows that the

different which kind of shows that the outcomes that you get really are in the

outcomes that you get really are in the end kind of arbitrary and it's the

end kind of arbitrary and it's the person that's behind the grandkid that

person that's behind the grandkid that kind of matters yeah exactly if I had a

kind of matters yeah exactly if I had a picture of myself and I hadn't never won

picture of myself and I hadn't never won an Olympia and then I had a picture of

an Olympia and then I had a picture of myself that w six Olympians and my kids

myself that w six Olympians and my kids were looking at holy you were Jack

were looking at holy you were Jack dad that's where their thought ends it's

dad that's where their thought ends it's not like you had five you had six you

not like you had five you had six you had seven it doesn't matter you know

had seven it doesn't matter you know that's cool you're Jack but who are you

that's cool you're Jack but who are you and how do you show up in my life every

and how do you show up in my life every day yeah you know and how did those

day yeah you know and how did those Pursuits how did the goals that you

Pursuits how did the goals that you tried to achieve or did achieve change

tried to achieve or did achieve change you yeah how did they cause you to be a

you yeah how did they cause you to be a different sort of father or grandfather

different sort of father or grandfather or husband or friend or business partner

or husband or friend or business partner or whatever and what lessons did you

or whatever and what lessons did you learn and take from them that you can

learn and take from them that you can give to me so that I can learn from them

give to me so that I can learn from them and hopefully not go through as much

and hopefully not go through as much pain while still learning the same

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wisdom and moderns wisdom a checkout this is a pretty important one

this is a pretty important one everything changed for me when I

everything changed for me when I realized that we're not meant to feel

realized that we're not meant to feel excited and perfect all the time I

excited and perfect all the time I started accepting that where I am right

started accepting that where I am right now is where I'm genuinely meant to be

now is where I'm genuinely meant to be tough days are all a part of the process

tough days are all a part of the process lean into them bad days are also part of

lean into them bad days are also part of a very good and meaningful life so on my

a very good and meaningful life so on my toughest days I think about getting

toughest days I think about getting through one more day one more workout

through one more day one more workout one more rep

yeah I think I mean this applies deeply in

in the I mean on a smaller level of the

the I mean on a smaller level of the starvation of prep when you're trying to

starvation of prep when you're trying to get through it and you're just you're

get through it and you're just you're just trying to get through one more what

just trying to get through one more what was the first part of that Quan

was the first part of that Quan everything changed for me when I

everything changed for me when I realized we're not meant to feel excited

realized we're not meant to feel excited and perfect all the time yeah this was

and perfect all the time yeah this was the the idea of pursuing happiness not

the the idea of pursuing happiness not leading to happiness you know you you

leading to happiness you know you you purs you pursue things that have meaning

purs you pursue things that have meaning in life and things that you care about

in life and things that you care about you know love challenges

you know love challenges relationships and happiness might insue

relationships and happiness might insue but you don't pursue the happiness

but you don't pursue the happiness itself because it's inevitably not going

itself because it's inevitably not going to be there all the time so if you're

to be there all the time so if you're just constantly seeking more happiness

just constantly seeking more happiness and it's not there then you're seeking

and it's not there then you're seeking something that's never going to be there

something that's never going to be there but if you're able to just stick in what

but if you're able to just stick in what you're doing right now and in those Hard

you're doing right now and in those Hard Times believing they're going to lead to

Times believing they're going to lead to Good

Good Times it just creates a lot less

Times it just creates a lot less friction in your life you know and I

friction in your life you know and I think whenever we're going through a

think whenever we're going through a hard time we just want it to end but

hard time we just want it to end but it's those moments that allow us to

it's those moments that allow us to appreciate the good ones what would you

appreciate the good ones what would you say to someone who's going through a

say to someone who's going through a string of bad days or bad weeks or bad

alone you know I think sometimes a quick word of just looking them and being like

word of just looking them and being like I know you're not alone give him a hug

I know you're not alone give him a hug and be like this is right now and

and be like this is right now and it's okay but you're not

it's okay but you're not alone what does lean into them

alone what does lean into them mean lean into the bad

days I think specifically nowadays it's so easy to numb there's so many

so easy to numb there's so many distractions so many things that we can

distractions so many things that we can just avoid feeling things with you know

just avoid feeling things with you know staple being your phone you you want to

staple being your phone you you want to cry you you fight your tears you're

cry you you fight your tears you're feeling stressed you're overthinking

feeling stressed you're overthinking something so you just pull up Instagram

something so you just pull up Instagram and you doom scroll for 20 minutes you

and you doom scroll for 20 minutes you get distracted you see a funny video of

get distracted you see a funny video of a cat close your phone and you forget

a cat close your phone and you forget about it that's not gone those feelings

about it that's not gone those feelings are still there they're just pushed down

are still there they're just pushed down from a couple Instagram videos that are

from a couple Instagram videos that are distracted and next thing you know a

distracted and next thing you know a couple days go by and you just feel this

couple days go by and you just feel this anxiety over yourself and you're like

anxiety over yourself and you're like why do I feel anxious I just feel like I

why do I feel anxious I just feel like I can't I can't sleep and wake up at 5:00

can't I can't sleep and wake up at 5:00 a.m. overthinking like I don't know

a.m. overthinking like I don't know what's going I have no idea people like

what's going I have no idea people like well are you stressed about anything

well are you stressed about anything like No And this is something that I've

like No And this is something that I've had to call myself out on if you ask me

had to call myself out on if you ask me if I'm stressed half the time my answer

if I'm stressed half the time my answer is no you feel are you stressed no I'm

is no you feel are you stressed no I'm fine I feel great and then if you look

fine I feel great and then if you look at me like do you feel calm do you feel

at me like do you feel calm do you feel at e do you feel relaxed I'd be like

at e do you feel relaxed I'd be like no so where where where am I

no so where where where am I feeling and for some reason stress to me

feeling and for some reason stress to me is like numb but it's stress so I don't

is like numb but it's stress so I don't really feel it and it's typically from

really feel it and it's typically from not allowing myself to lean into the

not allowing myself to lean into the shitty time the thoughts the

shitty time the thoughts the shitty days and being able to sit with

shitty days and being able to sit with them and be with them accept what they

them and be with them accept what they are and process them properly rather

are and process them properly rather than just numbing them so funny that you

than just numbing them so funny that you Ed the word lean into them uh Ben

Ed the word lean into them uh Ben Bergeron in chasing Excellence says

Bergeron in chasing Excellence says uh lean into discomfort as if you

uh lean into discomfort as if you invited it through the door and I it's a

invited it through the door and I it's a phrase that's stuck with me because it

phrase that's stuck with me because it feels

feels like you are in control of the frame

like you are in control of the frame like okay and you come and let's do this

like okay and you come and let's do this yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah as opposed to

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah as opposed to again the fear that you have around

again the fear that you have around being guilty or the agitation you have

being guilty or the agitation you have around being shameful or the distraction

around being shameful or the distraction that you need to do in order to be able

that you need to do in order to be able to get away from it it's

to get away from it it's uh it's an interesting one to think

uh it's an interesting one to think about how bad days are also a part of a

about how bad days are also a part of a very good and meaningful life that it

very good and meaningful life that it does really

does really frame the story at the end both you and

frame the story at the end both you and hosi have said the same thing in the

hosi have said the same thing in the last two episodes I've spoken to you

last two episodes I've spoken to you about which is

about which is the bad

the bad days create the story that I'm one day

days create the story that I'm one day going to tell myself about what I got

going to tell myself about what I got through you know what I mean

through you know what I mean yeah without the bad days the story

yeah without the bad days the story would be way more lame there would be no

would be way more lame there would be no glory in overcoming anything cuz what

glory in overcoming anything cuz what did you overcome it was all just 40 to

did you overcome it was all just 40 to 60 you know vanilla ice cream mush gray

60 you know vanilla ice cream mush gray like existence yeah I mean it's like the

like existence yeah I mean it's like the concept of the fear exposure therapy

concept of the fear exposure therapy when you're trying to build confidence

when you're trying to build confidence about something you're afraid of being

about something you're afraid of being exposed to the fear helps you overcome

exposed to the fear helps you overcome that but actively choosing to take that

that but actively choosing to take that fear on head on as actually What It

fear on head on as actually What It Takes I can't throw a spider at you and

Takes I can't throw a spider at you and you not afraid of spidered but you

you not afraid of spidered but you choosing in your own mind to actively go

choosing in your own mind to actively go to that Spider by yourself makes you

to that Spider by yourself makes you actually grow from it so you choosing to

actually grow from it so you choosing to take power of what little you can when

take power of what little you can when you're feeling like when everything's

you're feeling like when everything's crumbling around you and you feel

crumbling around you and you feel powerless and helpless well what can you

powerless and helpless well what can you take control of you can take control of

take control of you can take control of opening your door and letting that

opening your door and letting that embracing that you know leaning into

embracing that you know leaning into that hard time like I'm going to choose

that hard time like I'm going to choose to feel this it's here I didn't choose

to feel this it's here I didn't choose that but I'm going to choose to feel it

that but I'm going to choose to feel it and I have power over the choice of what

and I have power over the choice of what I feel and then you take your power back

I feel and then you take your power back and you can build your confidence from

and you can build your confidence from there I had a conversation recently with

there I had a conversation recently with a guy called Dr Jim Zaki who wrote a

a guy called Dr Jim Zaki who wrote a book called hope for cynics um and it's

book called hope for cynics um and it's interesting thinking about

how widespread skepticism cynicism are uh skepticism being the good version of

uh skepticism being the good version of cynicism cynicism being kind of uh total

cynicism cynicism being kind of uh total blanket coverage everything is

blanket coverage everything is everything sucks everybody is evil and

everything sucks everybody is evil and out for themselves and uh you had a bit

out for themselves and uh you had a bit of a rant one day where you said

of a rant one day where you said everyone's hypocritical and terrified to

everyone's hypocritical and terrified to do anything and put themselves out there

do anything and put themselves out there and fail so we hyper analyze hyper

and fail so we hyper analyze hyper criticize become paralyzed and end up

criticize become paralyzed and end up doing nothing sitting in our basements

doing nothing sitting in our basements watching Tik toks of other people's

watching Tik toks of other people's lives pretending that they're happy I

lives pretending that they're happy I was having one of those cnic days and

was having one of those cnic days and felt like ranting a little but honestly

felt like ranting a little but honestly there's optimism here for some low

there's optimism here for some low barrier of Entry personal growth stop

barrier of Entry personal growth stop analyzing stop criticizing both yourself

analyzing stop criticizing both yourself and others and Go fail at some go

and others and Go fail at some go give someone a good job for sucking at

give someone a good job for sucking at something because at least they're

something because at least they're trying maybe it will even give yourself

trying maybe it will even give yourself permission to do the same we find

permission to do the same we find meaning in trying difficult things not

meaning in trying difficult things not just in succeeding at

just in succeeding at them how do you avoid being too cynical

them how do you avoid being too cynical it's widespread it's everywhere how do

it's widespread it's everywhere how do you avoid it

you avoid it don't get stuck in the

don't get stuck in the simulation uh I mean it's all it's all

simulation uh I mean it's all it's all there's a million things it's

there's a million things it's perspective checks it's environment who

perspective checks it's environment who you choose to surround yourself with

you choose to surround yourself with what you choose to consume you know like

what you choose to consume you know like are you choosing to

are you choosing to consume false simulations of someone's

consume false simulations of someone's life on Tik Tok compare yourself to it

life on Tik Tok compare yourself to it and think you're not doing enough are

and think you're not doing enough are you choosing to live in the real world

you choosing to live in the real world having conversation with good people who

having conversation with good people who are being realistic and taking risks are

are being realistic and taking risks are you choosing to be around negative

you choosing to be around negative people or positive people you know every

people or positive people you know every every single day you you choose who you

every single day you you choose who you surround yourself with you choose what

surround yourself with you choose what you do you you're in control of a lot

you do you you're in control of a lot more than you believe you are and I

more than you believe you are and I think people like to get caught up in

think people like to get caught up in routine and norm and feeling obligated

routine and norm and feeling obligated to their old friends or family or this

to their old friends or family or this or that and staying kind of where they

or that and staying kind of where they are but pushing yourself out of that

are but pushing yourself out of that sometimes is exactly what you need and I

sometimes is exactly what you need and I think it's it's just scary for change

think it's it's just scary for change sometimes but you know there's

sometimes but you know there's the concept of living life is just so

the concept of living life is just so simple you could take the words live

simple you could take the words live your life and expand on that into a

your life and expand on that into a million page essay and just do it but

million page essay and just do it but just getting out there and living and

just getting out there and living and experiencing life and doing the things

experiencing life and doing the things that are difficult and challenging and

that are difficult and challenging and cause you to grow and to you know if you

cause you to grow and to you know if you think of the person that the person that

think of the person that the person that I envy the most and I enjoy being around

I envy the most and I enjoy being around the most is just that like old wise man

the most is just that like old wise man who has all these crazy stories who's

who has all these crazy stories who's lived this all this life and it's just

lived this all this life and it's just like happy to sit on the park bench and

like happy to sit on the park bench and talk to random people about what he's

talk to random people about what he's done you know

done you know it's if that's a person I respect how do

it's if that's a person I respect how do I become that person it's not from doing

I become that person it's not from doing nothing it's from doing something it's

nothing it's from doing something it's funny that we kind of see the trajectory

funny that we kind of see the trajectory that everybody's on because we can all

that everybody's on because we can all see old people now old people that seem

see old people now old people that seem to be content we think well if that's

to be content we think well if that's where I'm going to end up is there

where I'm going to end up is there another way that I can just speedrun

another way that I can just speedrun bringing some of that into now now yeah

bringing some of that into now now yeah you know what I mean we also see old

you know what I mean we also see old people who aren't content at all you

people who aren't content at all you know you see a lot of old people now who

know you see a lot of old people now who are even more sucked than some young

are even more sucked than some young people into the simulation of the hyper

people into the simulation of the hyper reality of their phones and their

reality of their phones and their content and just being like stucked into

content and just being like stucked into that and you also don't want

that and you also don't want to you want to see yourself spent into

to you want to see yourself spent into the future what if that's a path you're

the future what if that's a path you're on well well it should be a ction retail

on well well it should be a ction retail yeah right that should be the the route

yeah right that should be the the route that you want to try and avoid as much

that you want to try and avoid as much as possible had a conversation with

as possible had a conversation with David SRA who just found his podcast you

David SRA who just found his podcast you know he's broken down 300 400 famous

know he's broken down 300 400 famous people from history and he reads all of

people from history and he reads all of the books on them and then he he talks

the books on them and then he he talks about them on his podcast and uh I was

about them on his podcast and uh I was asking him about how people do most of

asking him about how people do most of the people he learns about as successful

the people he learns about as successful in one form or another basically how

in one form or another basically how people do success wrong uh and he just

people do success wrong uh and he just has endless stories of people who

has endless stories of people who achieved a ton of worldly success and

achieved a ton of worldly success and seem to have absolutely zero fun in the

seem to have absolutely zero fun in the process none none at all and you know

process none none at all and you know there was this one story about this dude

there was this one story about this dude I think worth you know billions and

I think worth you know billions and billions of dollars and was in his late

billions of dollars and was in his late 70s had maybe grandkids maybe even great

70s had maybe grandkids maybe even great grandkids at this point and was still

grandkids at this point and was still showing up to conferences you know sort

showing up to conferences you know sort of beating down deals on the door at 78

of beating down deals on the door at 78 years old you know with this illustrious

years old you know with this illustrious career behind him uh and he didn't David

career behind him uh and he didn't David didn't think that this was coming from

didn't think that this was coming from some well balanced desire to Maxim his

some well balanced desire to Maxim his calling in life which was to be the best

calling in life which was to be the best business leader salesperson but just

business leader salesperson but just this as yet un alchemized compulsion to

this as yet un alchemized compulsion to need to be busy and to be seen and for

need to be busy and to be seen and for validation and for recognition and for

validation and for recognition and for success and so on and so forth and uh I

success and so on and so forth and uh I used to say you know from my old Life as

used to say you know from my old Life as a club promoter that there was nothing

a club promoter that there was nothing really sadder than seeing uh some guys

really sadder than seeing uh some guys in their 40s For Whom the single best

in their 40s For Whom the single best part of their life was getting a bag in

part of their life was getting a bag in with the boys on a weekend the same

with the boys on a weekend the same place the same Club the same parties

place the same Club the same parties week in week out for decades and decades

week in week out for decades and decades and decades but I actually think that

and decades but I actually think that the 78-year-old guy that as yet hasn't

the 78-year-old guy that as yet hasn't alchemized is just the more seductive

alchemized is just the more seductive more publicly acceptable version of that

more publicly acceptable version of that which makes it even more dangerous

which makes it even more dangerous because there's few people fewer people

because there's few people fewer people that are going to say well you know at

that are going to say well you know at least you're not going out and getting a

least you're not going out and getting a bag of cocaine with the boys in 78y Old

bag of cocaine with the boys in 78y Old Man uh but yeah it's a caution retail I

Man uh but yeah it's a caution retail I think that we should all be pretty

think that we should all be pretty scared about it's a challenge

scared about it's a challenge because I mean I made the joke about the

because I mean I made the joke about the simulation but like it's so easy now for

simulation but like it's so easy now for us to see other people's lives in such a

us to see other people's lives in such a specific narrative that they want us to

specific narrative that they want us to see and it's like a responsibility for

see and it's like a responsibility for people who have a platform and followers

people who have a platform and followers to be honest but they have no reason to

to be honest but they have no reason to be they don't have to be so if we're

be they don't have to be so if we're looking up to these people who have

looking up to these people who have worked 40 Years of their life to become

worked 40 Years of their life to become this billionaire and you know they talk

this billionaire and you know they talk about like maximize efficiency be as

about like maximize efficiency be as like use everything for this optimize

like use everything for this optimize this be perfect in this all these things

this be perfect in this all these things and it's all about optimization

and it's all about optimization efficiency make more money work harder

efficiency make more money work harder wake up earlier morning routine

wake up earlier morning routine everything all these things and it's

everything all these things and it's like well that'll get me to his life

like well that'll get me to his life what if that dude's miserable

what if that dude's miserable you know what if he's optimized and Rich

you know what if he's optimized and Rich As and drives that nice Ferrari but

As and drives that nice Ferrari but he hates his life you know we'll never

he hates his life you know we'll never know may maybe he's very different from

know may maybe he's very different from me and maybe his goals and his morals

me and maybe his goals and his morals and his values are completely different

and his values are completely different than me and I'm not going to I can't

than me and I'm not going to I can't project onto that

project onto that but we'll never really know the truth of

but we'll never really know the truth of if those people are happy or not but

if those people are happy or not but these young kids are watching this story

these young kids are watching this story watching this journey and they're like

watching this journey and they're like that's who I want to be I want to live

that's who I want to be I want to live like that I'm going to work like that

like that I'm going to work like that until I have that very very dangerous

until I have that very very dangerous using anybody as a role model that

using anybody as a role model that doesn't seem to be being transparent you

doesn't seem to be being transparent you know I think tired though of course and

know I think tired though of course and you don't know whether the transparency

you don't know whether the transparency is

is performative uh how much of this is how

performative uh how much of this is how how much self- knowledge do people have

how much self- knowledge do people have anyway like how arent are we to

anyway like how arent are we to ourselves and then on top of that how

ourselves and then on top of that how much do we allow ourselves to tell the

much do we allow ourselves to tell the people and then how much of that do we

people and then how much of that do we allow to go into a public platform you

allow to go into a public platform you know there's so many filters it's kind

know there's so many filters it's kind of amazing that anybody says anything

of amazing that anybody says anything truthful ever you know like there's so

truthful ever you know like there's so many yeah incentives and and uh uh

many yeah incentives and and uh uh obfuscations that don't allow us to see

obfuscations that don't allow us to see what we believe or feel yeah even if

what we believe or feel yeah even if you're not numbing with like boring

you're not numbing with like boring stuff like Instagram you could be be

stuff like Instagram you could be be efficient and optimized in your life

efficient and optimized in your life enough to have a morning routine a night

enough to have a morning routine a night routine and work hard enough to never

routine and work hard enough to never have a a spot for introspection of

have a a spot for introspection of genuine introspection you you can think

genuine introspection you you can think of like this is a cool quote about

of like this is a cool quote about business and working hard but it's not

business and working hard but it's not really about how you feel and you could

really about how you feel and you could live your life in a very efficient

live your life in a very efficient beautiful well articulated Manner and

beautiful well articulated Manner and have no idea who the you really are

have no idea who the you really are busy calendar is a great hedge against

busy calendar is a great hedge against feeling feelings you know if you just

feeling feelings you know if you just Bounce from meeting to meeting look at

Bounce from meeting to meeting look at how important I am all of these people

how important I am all of these people need me they all want me I've got all of

need me they all want me I've got all of these things going on there's no you

these things going on there's no you know to go back to sort of the drugs

know to go back to sort of the drugs analogy there's no point where you're at

analogy there's no point where you're at the come down after the Afterparty you

the come down after the Afterparty you know as the cocaine's wearing off or as

know as the cocaine's wearing off or as the the hangover's kicking in there's no

the the hangover's kicking in there's no hangover you're just permanently in

hangover you're just permanently in dopamine party mode for however many you

dopamine party mode for however many you know Decades of life and uh yeah I think

know Decades of life and uh yeah I think busy calendars for a lot of people

busy calendars for a lot of people protect them against the

protect them against the existential eye wide pain of having to

existential eye wide pain of having to work out I I actually why am I doing

work out I I actually why am I doing this am I doing this for the right

this am I doing this for the right reasons is this what I'm supposed to be

reasons is this what I'm supposed to be doing do I really enjoy this or Yeah you

doing do I really enjoy this or Yeah you mentioned especially now that you've got

mentioned especially now that you've got Daddy Daycare Duty that you're having to

Daddy Daycare Duty that you're having to learn to say no more I think you said

learn to say no more I think you said previously you said no 90% of the time

previously you said no 90% of the time and now it's 99% of the time so thank

and now it's 99% of the time so thank you for saying yes um

you for saying yes um uh what would be your advice for people

uh what would be your advice for people that struggle to say no perennial people

that struggle to say no perennial people Pleasers and those that struggle to

Pleasers and those that struggle to advocate for their own needs or put

advocate for their own needs or put their uh desires first how can people be

their uh desires first how can people be better

nosers it's a good question because it kind of took me into a cheat code to

kind of took me into a cheat code to really get good at it and that's

really get good at it and that's leverage you know it's in at least in my

like professional performative life I I I said yes

life I I I said yes more but I guess from the

more but I guess from the beginning if I really think about it

beginning if I really think about it I've always worked hard to just say yes

I've always worked hard to just say yes to things that I actually cared about

to things that I actually cared about you know I tried not to be in starting

you know I tried not to be in starting out as like an influencer I tried not to

out as like an influencer I tried not to be a sellout you know I got offered a

be a sellout you know I got offered a lot of money I've turned down some crazy

lot of money I've turned down some crazy deals that I'm still like holy like

deals that I'm still like holy like few hundred grand a month deals and I

few hundred grand a month deals and I just said no because it's not a product

just said no because it's not a product that I would use without the money and

that I would use without the money and that's like it was inauthentic to me and

that's like it was inauthentic to me and I was like but over time saying not

I was like but over time saying not of those things have opened up more

of those things have opened up more doors and more opportunity I still

doors and more opportunity I still haven't got a contract that big but I

haven't got a contract that big but I haven't sold out and people still trust

haven't sold out and people still trust me at least and I'm standing behind

me at least and I'm standing behind Brands only that I love or that I own so

Brands only that I love or that I own so I think just being able to stick true

I think just being able to stick true and checking in with yourself being like

and checking in with yourself being like who am I what do I care about what are I

who am I what do I care about what are I think authentic goals is like a huge

think authentic goals is like a huge word of mine now what's truly authentic

word of mine now what's truly authentic to me one of I working towards it

to me one of I working towards it something I care about rather than

something I care about rather than things I think other people were care

things I think other people were care about for me and I think that's

about for me and I think that's absolutely huge and you know

absolutely huge and you know also I've worked really hard over the

also I've worked really hard over the past decade of my life to be in a really

past decade of my life to be in a really high highly successful position to have

high highly successful position to have a healthy amount of Leverage where now

a healthy amount of Leverage where now when I say no to people I get a better

when I say no to people I get a better offer back when I say no I get a better

offer back when I say no I get a better offer back like can you come to the trip

offer back like can you come to the trip we'll give you 50 Grand I'm like no

we'll give you 50 Grand I'm like no we'll give you 100 no we'll we'll get

we'll give you 100 no we'll we'll get you private J give you 150 I'm like why

you private J give you 150 I'm like why maybe you know and it's leverage whereas

maybe you know and it's leverage whereas before if they're like you want to come

before if they're like you want to come up no like all right you we don't

up no like all right you we don't care Y and it's different but I've had

care Y and it's different but I've had to work really hard to get there and to

to work really hard to get there and to put yourself in that position you know I

put yourself in that position you know I I there's times where I've said no in

I there's times where I've said no in the past and people haven't given a

the past and people haven't given a at all and over time now I'm at a point

at all and over time now I'm at a point where if I say no it's there's a little

where if I say no it's there's a little more leverage behind what I can do and I

more leverage behind what I can do and I can I can fangle it a little bit more

can I can fangle it a little bit more but that has also come from me sticking

but that has also come from me sticking to what was authentic to me and saying

to what was authentic to me and saying no so I built a trust behind what I

no so I built a trust behind what I represent and what I do now in my life

represent and what I do now in my life yeah your no now being worth something

yeah your no now being worth something is because you still said no when it was

is because you still said no when it was worth nothing previously mhm and along

worth nothing previously mhm and along the way I was working hard to make it

the way I was working hard to make it worth more on the back end I made it

worth more on the back end I made it worth it yeah that's such a a funny

worth it yeah that's such a a funny point I kind of brought this up a couple

point I kind of brought this up a couple of weeks ago on the show that

of weeks ago on the show that uh no one ever gets credit for saying no

uh no one ever gets credit for saying no to things that people don't know about

to things that people don't know about so you know the we got this offer a

so you know the we got this offer a while ago to bring somebody on the show

while ago to bring somebody on the show I've never never once paid anybody or

I've never never once paid anybody or taken money to bring anybody on the show

taken money to bring anybody on the show and we got offered a six figure sum to

and we got offered a six figure sum to bring some guy on to talk about oil or

bring some guy on to talk about oil or something to do with like something to

something to do with like something to do with energy or maybe it was the

do with energy or maybe it was the Middle East I something like that and it

Middle East I something like that and it just stank of deep State Saudi Iranian

just stank of deep State Saudi Iranian some Putin conspiracy thing I was like

some Putin conspiracy thing I was like this is this is so weird first off I'm

this is this is so weird first off I'm not taking the money but secondly

not taking the money but secondly there's no world like I'm not I guess

there's no world like I'm not I guess I'm saying it now but this was like a

I'm saying it now but this was like a year and a half ago or something and I'm

year and a half ago or something and I'm not saying it to flex I'm saying it's an

not saying it to flex I'm saying it's an interesting example but no one is ever

interesting example but no one is ever going to give anybody credit you know

going to give anybody credit you know the world the word grifter and shill get

the world the word grifter and shill get thrown around so much on the internet it

thrown around so much on the internet it makes me cringe but no one ever gets to

makes me cringe but no one ever gets to see all of the stuff that people turn

see all of the stuff that people turn down yeah like you

down yeah like you get called out for anything that you're

get called out for anything that you're associated with and never get credit for

associated with and never get credit for anything that you're not associated with

anything that you're not associated with now all of the guests that didn't come

now all of the guests that didn't come on the show mhm all of the the brand

on the show mhm all of the the brand deals all absolutely famous people who

deals all absolutely famous people who would gotten you so much views but they

would gotten you so much views but they didn't line up with you that you that I

didn't line up with you that you that I didn't want to bring on the episodes

didn't want to bring on the episodes that I recorded that I didn't release

that I recorded that I didn't release the people that wanted to come on that I

the people that wanted to come on that I decided not to the money like so much

decided not to the money like so much money that we've turned down on the show

money that we've turned down on the show cuz I go I don't think this product is

cuz I go I don't think this product is legit and I don't use it so I'm going to

legit and I don't use it so I'm going to say no uh meanwhile that anything that

say no uh meanwhile that anything that you ever uh participating in becomes a

you ever uh participating in becomes a vector for attack and all of the things

vector for attack and all of the things you didn't participate in are not vector

you didn't participate in are not vector for Commendation you go you want to SC I

for Commendation you go you want to SC I want to rip my face off but on the back

want to rip my face off but on the back end you can attribute way more of your

end you can attribute way more of your success to those nose oh absolutely

success to those nose oh absolutely because even now you starting a story

because even now you starting a story and saying someone offered me money I

and saying someone offered me money I can't even imagine you sitting across

can't even imagine you sitting across from someone and having a conversation

from someone and having a conversation and just knowing that you paid him you

and just knowing that you paid him you would probably be like here's your money

would probably be like here's your money back I'm leaving halfway through the

back I'm leaving halfway through the podcast if you even got there I don't

podcast if you even got there I don't care about your oil uh yeah it's just I

care about your oil uh yeah it's just I I I wish it's kind of a little bit like

I I wish it's kind of a little bit like uh somebody accusing you of not giving

uh somebody accusing you of not giving enough money to the homeless and you

enough money to the homeless and you saying but no no no I just I just gave

saying but no no no I just I just gave loads of money to the homeless over

loads of money to the homeless over there see how virtuous I are and then

there see how virtuous I are and then they go well no you just done that

they go well no you just done that because you could take a photo and talk

because you could take a photo and talk about you go well in that case I can't

about you go well in that case I can't win you know what I mean um it's

win you know what I mean um it's very it's it's interesting I I think uh

very it's it's interesting I I think uh I understand why everyone's kind of

I understand why everyone's kind of Griff and shill Radars hyper tuned on

Griff and shill Radars hyper tuned on the internet and rightly so because not

the internet and rightly so because not everybody's got everybody's best

everybody's got everybody's best interests at heart but um there is

interests at heart but um there is what's the term gri and chill shill i l

what's the term gri and chill shill i l heard so I actually asked I two terms

heard so I actually asked I two terms that I never use largely because I think

that I never use largely because I think that kind of like uh know racism in the

that kind of like uh know racism in the modern world it gets sort of so overly

modern world it gets sort of so overly used that you actually end up diluting

used that you actually end up diluting it down so it means everything and

it down so it means everything and nothing at the same time uh I asked on

nothing at the same time uh I asked on Twitter a while ago what grifa or shill

Twitter a while ago what grifa or shill means for the people who do use it and I

means for the people who do use it and I think the best uh the best example was

think the best uh the best example was uh a person who is affiliated with a

uh a person who is affiliated with a product or Serv service that they

product or Serv service that they wouldn't use if they weren't paid for it

wouldn't use if they weren't paid for it I was like huh okay that's an that's a

I was like huh okay that's an that's a an interesting um like framework to put

an interesting um like framework to put into it uh but it's a term which now

into it uh but it's a term which now covers a whole range of sins yeah um you

covers a whole range of sins yeah um you know interestingly it's kind of

know interestingly it's kind of dependent on who the two worlds are that

dependent on who the two worlds are that are coming together for instance when

are coming together for instance when Rogan got his Spotify deal the first one

Rogan got his Spotify deal the first one six five and a half six years ago there

six five and a half six years ago there was no one that called him a sellout for

was no one that called him a sellout for going to Spotify well why well because

going to Spotify well why well because there is an assumption that both Spotify

there is an assumption that both Spotify and Joe have so much positive brand

and Joe have so much positive brand Equity that there's no no one's taking

Equity that there's no no one's taking advantage of the other it's like both

advantage of the other it's like both quite high value cool Brands coming

quite high value cool Brands coming together um Nike comes in and sponsors

together um Nike comes in and sponsors some huge NFL player or whatever uh no

some huge NFL player or whatever uh no one goes oh my God I can't believe that

one goes oh my God I can't believe that you sold out to Nike but if it was I

you sold out to Nike but if it was I don't know some Russian gas company then

don't know some Russian gas company then they might they go oh my God so the

they might they go oh my God so the inherent in the deal is this sense of

inherent in the deal is this sense of alignment of value and credibility and

alignment of value and credibility and sort of cool of brand coming in uh like

sort of cool of brand coming in uh like you you got the new gym shock deal talk

you you got the new gym shock deal talk to me about

to me about that when I was in 2018 and they reach

that when I was in 2018 and they reach out to me I remember being very ecstatic

out to me I remember being very ecstatic about them reaching out to me because

about them reaching out to me because they were the brand you know I always

they were the brand you know I always wanted to be a part of them they had the

wanted to be a part of them they had the cool events the cool athletes all this

cool events the cool athletes all this stuff and I was like they reaching

stuff and I was like they reaching out to me this is really exciting and

out to me this is really exciting and then over a few years I felt like they

then over a few years I felt like they stepped away from being like the workout

stepped away from being like the workout gym brand you know like I was like a

gym brand you know like I was like a bodybuilder I like to train and it

bodybuilder I like to train and it seemed like they were straying away from

seemed like they were straying away from wanting to be a part of the gym culture

wanting to be a part of the gym culture so much and it wasn't really lining up

so much and it wasn't really lining up with me and I didn't really want to be a

with me and I didn't really want to be a part of Brands as much anymore I was

part of Brands as much anymore I was owning my own companies and all these

owning my own companies and all these things and I just I just stepped away

things and I just I just stepped away from that and I feel like as I did they

from that and I feel like as I did they were I've heard now they were going

were I've heard now they were going through the internal process of thinking

through the internal process of thinking hey we're stepping too far away from the

hey we're stepping too far away from the gym we need to lean back into the gym

gym we need to lean back into the gym more and they were like Chris is

more and they were like Chris is leaving like blah blah like it wasn't

leaving like blah blah like it wasn't just about me but then over the year and

just about me but then over the year and a half I was gone or whatever they were

a half I was gone or whatever they were like we're diving all back into the gym

like we're diving all back into the gym we want to bring the gym to the world

we want to bring the gym to the world which I think is so incredible because

which I think is so incredible because all my successes owed to the gym you

all my successes owed to the gym you know if I had stepped in a gym I

know if I had stepped in a gym I wouldn't be sitting here I wouldn't have

wouldn't be sitting here I wouldn't have met Courtney I wouldn't have my

met Courtney I wouldn't have my businesses like it's all because I

businesses like it's all because I stepped in the gym it's helped me so

stepped in the gym it's helped me so much that's us that's just a physical

much that's us that's just a physical success aside from the mental and

success aside from the mental and everything it benefited me from and I

everything it benefited me from and I think anyone stepping into the gym is

think anyone stepping into the gym is only going to make life better so I just

only going to make life better so I just love the their concept of now their

love the their concept of now their literally concept of bringing the gym to

literally concept of bringing the gym to the world not only that but I've grow

the world not only that but I've grow grown a little closer to Ben and to n

grown a little closer to Ben and to n over the years talking to them so sorry

over the years talking to them so sorry to hear that I know right but having my

to hear that I know right but having my own businesses and seeing the scale at

own businesses and seeing the scale at which they've grown theirs while

which they've grown theirs while maintaining majority ownership of it

maintaining majority ownership of it starting in Ben's Garage in the UK to

starting in Ben's Garage in the UK to the scale they are now like I can't even

the scale they are now like I can't even understand the level of professionalism

understand the level of professionalism that they have to have come from nothing

that they have to have come from nothing at his age where I'm working my ass off

at his age where I'm working my ass off with people way smarter than

with people way smarter than being in business who aren't even close

being in business who aren't even close to their level of success and they're

to their level of success and they're just crushing and I just have so much

just crushing and I just have so much respect for how they built their

respect for how they built their business the way they operate their

business the way they operate their staff behind the scenes you know I I

staff behind the scenes you know I I kept in contact with a lot of their

kept in contact with a lot of their staff just everything the way they

staff just everything the way they operate in their business is just

operate in their business is just something I respect you know the morals

something I respect you know the morals and values they uphold the athletes that

and values they uphold the athletes that they choose to bring on I think they

they choose to bring on I think they really care about the the way their

really care about the the way their athletes represent themselves the way

athletes represent themselves the way they represent the brand and it just it

they represent the brand and it just it just lined up perfectly and when they

just lined up perfectly and when they hit me back up and they're like what do

hit me back up and they're like what do you think I was like this feels perfect

you think I was like this feels perfect you know and you're a part owner now

you know and you're a part owner now yeah very small but part owner yeah big

yeah very small but part owner yeah big company very small is very good my who

company very small is very good my who was

was it I think it was like an old friend or

it I think it was like an old friend or something they like are you a equal

something they like are you a equal owner equal partner

owner equal partner in like yeah they gave me a billion

in like yeah they gave me a billion dollar they gym shark but no it's it

dollar they gym shark but no it's it it's it's good I'm I'm super pumped

it's it's good I'm I'm super pumped feedback and they made their clothes

feedback and they made their clothes better I was buying their clothes by

better I was buying their clothes by myself with my own money on the website

myself with my own money on the website and then they're like Chris are you

and then they're like Chris are you wearing dream Shir again I was like yeah

wearing dream Shir again I was like yeah this is shirt's dope and they're like

this is shirt's dope and they're like did you buy it I'm like yeah they like

did you buy it I'm like yeah they like we would have sent it to you I'm like I

we would have sent it to you I'm like I liked it they have made a big pivot

liked it they have made a big pivot which has been pretty good I don't know

which has been pretty good I don't know it's a it's an interesting time for

it's a it's an interesting time for training in sort of gym culture I think

training in sort of gym culture I think uh certainly you know Downstream from uh

uh certainly you know Downstream from uh you and and your era that we're in right

you and and your era that we're in right now CrossFit kind of was a I think a big

now CrossFit kind of was a I think a big influence on that that young uh people

influence on that that young uh people culture for a while but that really

culture for a while but that really seems to have pivoted off and now it's

seems to have pivoted off and now it's all if it's not bodybuilding it's hybrid

all if it's not bodybuilding it's hybrid training and highrock running yeah yep

training and highrock running yeah yep Nick barar and George heon man

Nick barar and George heon man those two guys have a lot to answer for

those two guys have a lot to answer for you know from fashion and and Trend and

you know from fashion and and Trend and training modality and run clubs yeah

training modality and run clubs yeah huge huge big deal now they even

huge huge big deal now they even my partners and raw they're trying to do

my partners and raw they're trying to do Iron Man and they're building we're

Iron Man and they're building we're built an insurance line under raw like

built an insurance line under raw like just cuz they're so passionate and love

just cuz they're so passionate and love it and they're like trying to convince

it and they're like trying to convince me to do an Iron Man when I'm like 35 40

me to do an Iron Man when I'm like 35 40 and retire and I'm just like you want me

and retire and I'm just like you want me to run for how long like no I'll

to run for how long like no I'll pass I might do like a crossfit style

pass I might do like a crossfit style thing in the future but no Iron Man for

thing in the future but no Iron Man for me you the perfect build for an Iron Man

me you the perfect build for an Iron Man yeah you think I right now this is

yeah you think I right now this is exactly the time when you should do it

exactly the time when you should do it yeah I don't know

yeah I don't know uh it is

uh it is uh we're going in two directions as well

uh we're going in two directions as well we spoke about this last time about the

we spoke about this last time about the it it got even worse I'm not on Tik Tok

it it got even worse I'm not on Tik Tok so I don't see this but I know the world

so I don't see this but I know the world of Psalms apparently like people that

of Psalms apparently like people that have got affiliate codes and stuff for

have got affiliate codes and stuff for uh again I only hear this third hand

uh again I only hear this third hand through you know my housemates sending

through you know my housemates sending me videos and blah blah blah but

me videos and blah blah blah but uh it is odd to me that we've got sort

uh it is odd to me that we've got sort of the leader of the sport

of the leader of the sport being unbelievably sort of emotionally

being unbelievably sort of emotionally open vulnerable talking about trying to

open vulnerable talking about trying to get as much out of as little as possible

get as much out of as little as possible pharmacologically and then this other

pharmacologically and then this other world which is affiliate deals Galore

world which is affiliate deals Galore for uh you know teenagers on performance

for uh you know teenagers on performance enhancing drugs of varying degrees of

enhancing drugs of varying degrees of toxicity and research it's very strange

toxicity and research it's very strange yeah I

yeah I haven't seen a lot of I the weird thing

haven't seen a lot of I the weird thing is I know the companies are associated

is I know the companies are associated with selling those arms but people only

with selling those arms but people only promote like peptides like healing

promote like peptides like healing peptides and stuff

peptides and stuff but I I'm not on there either to develop

but I I'm not on there either to develop into that but it's definitely a strange

into that but it's definitely a strange slippery slope I feel like for it's like

slippery slope I feel like for it's like a Gateway the Gateway peptides you know

a Gateway the Gateway peptides you know yeah I don't know um I'll be interested

yeah I don't know um I'll be interested to see sort of what gym culture does

to see sort of what gym culture does because I probably wouldn't would I have

because I probably wouldn't would I have predicted it I probably wouldn't have

predicted it I probably wouldn't have predicted you know 10 15 years ago the

predicted you know 10 15 years ago the Jeffs side ziz era stuff uh Simply

Jeffs side ziz era stuff uh Simply Shredded bodybuilding.com for

Shredded bodybuilding.com for I probably wouldn't have predicted

I probably wouldn't have predicted CrossFit coming in I certainly wouldn't

CrossFit coming in I certainly wouldn't have predicted H rocks and run clubs and

have predicted H rocks and run clubs and and and uh hybrid athlete training

and and uh hybrid athlete training there's no way that I would have seen

there's no way that I would have seen that coming back around um so I don't

that coming back around um so I don't know what I can kind of understand the

know what I can kind of understand the the jogging craze coming back cuz people

the jogging craze coming back cuz people are like it's almost like a post failed

are like it's almost like a post failed meditation app Phase that led to running

meditation app Phase that led to running working cuz like true good running is a

working cuz like true good running is a meditation being able to be with your

meditation being able to be with your breath and to be with your pace to not

breath and to be with your pace to not go too fast you know everyone every

go too fast you know everyone every running coach says you don't run fast to

running coach says you don't run fast to get faster you run slow for longer you

get faster you run slow for longer you have to match your pace it's a

have to match your pace it's a meditation is mindfulness it's keeping

meditation is mindfulness it's keeping on track restrained patience yeah and I

on track restrained patience yeah and I think I think there's something very

think I think there's something very beautiful meditative about running and

beautiful meditative about running and I'm horrible at it but I can I can kind

I'm horrible at it but I can I can kind of understand why in such a in a world

of understand why in such a in a world with so much distraction and so much

with so much distraction and so much going on why people would be drawn to

going on why people would be drawn to this moment of the day where they're out

this moment of the day where they're out in nature outside peacefully getting

in nature outside peacefully getting exercise in a meditative State yeah I

exercise in a meditative State yeah I think run clubs there's a there's one in

think run clubs there's a there's one in Austin that's fighting with the city

Austin that's fighting with the city council at the moment I mean it's

council at the moment I mean it's massive they do 500 people every

massive they do 500 people every Saturday it's huge yeah it's offensive

Saturday it's huge yeah it's offensive but uh I said to the guys I was like if

but uh I said to the guys I was like if if they don't allow you to keep doing

if they don't allow you to keep doing this I would go complete scorched Earth

this I would go complete scorched Earth with Austin Council I'm aware that you

with Austin Council I'm aware that you don't want to burn your Bridges but

don't want to burn your Bridges but everybody's worried about young people's

everybody's worried about young people's mental health about isolation spending

mental health about isolation spending too much time in technology obesity

too much time in technology obesity rates blood glucose diabetes all this

rates blood glucose diabetes all this stuff you're offering a solution to all

stuff you're offering a solution to all of the dating like all of these things

of the dating like all of these things are fixed in one form or another with

are fixed in one form or another with some kind of group fitness activity

some kind of group fitness activity whether it's Barry's Boot Camp or

whether it's Barry's Boot Camp or CrossFit or gym or run clubs or high

CrossFit or gym or run clubs or high rocks or hybrid whatever this is the

rocks or hybrid whatever this is the solution to it and in the same sentence

solution to it and in the same sentence they're saying we're really worried

they're saying we're really worried about young people's mental health and

about young people's mental health and physical state and also one guy doesn't

physical state and also one guy doesn't like the fact that he can't look out of

like the fact that he can't look out of his front garden for 30 minutes every

his front garden for 30 minutes every Saturday without seeing young people

Saturday without seeing young people looking sweaty running past yeah I don't

looking sweaty running past yeah I don't know it it just seems

know it it just seems like it's disappointing to sort of see

like it's disappointing to sort of see that it's not being facilitated or or

that it's not being facilitated or or encouraged in that way it's like they're

encouraged in that way it's like they're not graffitiing things it's not a it's

not graffitiing things it's not a it's not a one of those low rider drive by

not a one of those low rider drive by things where everyone's making loads of

things where everyone's making loads of Music at 1 in the morning out of super

Music at 1 in the morning out of super loud subwoofers and stuff it's just

loud subwoofers and stuff it's just young people running yeah it's

young people running yeah it's disappointing but it's not surprising

disappointing but it's not surprising yeah yeah it's the same you've been here

yeah yeah it's the same you've been here before is there anything in your

before is there anything in your experience

experience that I don't know how much you've gone

that I don't know how much you've gone into the science you might just be

into the science you might just be someone who happens to be super

someone who happens to be super effective at doing the thing as opposed

effective at doing the thing as opposed to knowing the thing uh are there any

to knowing the thing uh are there any areas of training or diet or Fitness

areas of training or diet or Fitness that seem to be

that seem to be surprisingly uh not what the science or

surprisingly uh not what the science or evidence or typical advice would agree

evidence or typical advice would agree with rep ranges periodization like

with rep ranges periodization like overload any of that stuff is there any

overload any of that stuff is there any areas where you think huh like this ends

areas where you think huh like this ends up really working for me but I don't

up really working for me but I don't think most people would think that it

think most people would think that it would

work it's hard to say when something's very like nuanced I have been diving a

very like nuanced I have been diving a little bit more into proper like science

little bit more into proper like science behind it I've had this guy named Justin

behind it I've had this guy named Justin King helping me with my training and

King helping me with my training and he's very science-based and very like

he's very science-based and very like evidence-backed and and every time you

evidence-backed and and every time you bring that up in bodybuilding you go

bring that up in bodybuilding you go back and forth between thinking too much

back and forth between thinking too much and being able to work hard enough and

and being able to work hard enough and back and forth and what I've noticed

back and forth and what I've noticed specifically in especially on tired days

specifically in especially on tired days deep in prep or whatever it might be if

deep in prep or whatever it might be if you're so focused on getting absolute

you're so focused on getting absolute deep stretch with a 4-second negative

deep stretch with a 4-second negative proper perfect execution all these

proper perfect execution all these things 100% or mentally that's fatiguing

things 100% or mentally that's fatiguing and to do that for let's say optimized

and to do that for let's say optimized periodization you're going to do a

periodization you're going to do a four-week program of 18 to 20 reps and

four-week program of 18 to 20 reps and then you're going to bring it down to 6

then you're going to bring it down to 6 to 10 once your volume's high and you're

to 10 once your volume's high and you're building your strength with X Y and Z if

building your strength with X Y and Z if you can't get there mentally because

you can't get there mentally because mentally you're too fatigued to go to

mentally you're too fatigued to go to failure on that set and you're like

failure on that set and you're like thinking too much like you just stop

thinking too much like you just stop versus just like turning your brain off

versus just like turning your brain off and just going Full Tilt to failure

and just going Full Tilt to failure you're not getting as much benefit but

you're not getting as much benefit but are you failing because your muscles are

are you failing because your muscles are failing or because mentally you're you

failing or because mentally you're you can't keep thinking about the

can't keep thinking about the 4sec negative for long enough you know

4sec negative for long enough you know yeah so it it seems obvious but if

yeah so it it seems obvious but if you're holding yourself back by thinking

you're holding yourself back by thinking too much then you're not doing good

too much then you're not doing good enough and I think you know you try and

enough and I think you know you try and reinvent the wheel a million times and

reinvent the wheel a million times and it just doesn't work so you you got to

it just doesn't work so you you got to find the balance within it every's a

find the balance within it every's a little different that's cool that uh you

little different that's cool that uh you can try and be as optimal as possible

can try and be as optimal as possible but there's a time for just sort of pure

but there's a time for just sort of pure aggression yeah and I think what there

aggression yeah and I think what there was I you might even know it and you

was I you might even know it and you probably figure it out better than me

probably figure it out better than me but there was a study that took people

but there was a study that took people and they were testing how high of a step

and they were testing how high of a step they thought they could step over and

they thought they could step over and and it was it was just like guess how

and it was it was just like guess how high of a step you can step over and

high of a step you can step over and they had to guess and they put one group

they had to guess and they put one group through a bunch of like physical and

through a bunch of like physical and mental fatigue and one with just a fresh

mental fatigue and one with just a fresh group and the group with mental and

group and the group with mental and physical fatigue severely underestimated

physical fatigue severely underestimated what they could step over like oh I

what they could step over like oh I could only do like two feet and then

could only do like two feet and then they got four feet or and they were just

they got four feet or and they were just underestimating what they were capable

underestimating what they were capable of and I mean that's literally

of and I mean that's literally bodybuilding prep you know like the day

bodybuilding prep you know like the day where i'm like I can't pick that thing

where i'm like I can't pick that thing off the floor I'm like this can is too

off the floor I'm like this can is too heavy like can you throw this out for me

heavy like can you throw this out for me I'm tired I'm moving in slow motion but

I'm tired I'm moving in slow motion but I need to go to the gym and dumbbell

I need to go to the gym and dumbbell press 150 lb dumbbells like how does

press 150 lb dumbbells like how does that translate my mind doesn't think I

that translate my mind doesn't think I can do it I'm severely underestimating

can do it I'm severely underestimating my strength that I can't pick this can

my strength that I can't pick this can up but when I get to the gym I need to

up but when I get to the gym I need to overpower my mind and just do it I need

overpower my mind and just do it I need to understand that I still have the

to understand that I still have the muscle I still have the strength I'm

muscle I still have the strength I'm just being a lazy little right now

just being a lazy little right now and I need to pick up that weight and do

and I need to pick up that weight and do it and overpower it and sometimes when

it and overpower it and sometimes when you're getting in there and you're

you're getting in there and you're overthinking and all these things come

overthinking and all these things come in too much of like have to do this this

in too much of like have to do this this and this I have to do a four second

and this I have to do a four second netive oh my God that's going to be so

netive oh my God that's going to be so hard I should drop the weight then like

hard I should drop the weight then like no just get in there know what

no just get in there know what you can do bust your ass and get out of

you can do bust your ass and get out of there sometimes overthinking it holds

there sometimes overthinking it holds you back there's

you back there's a like beautiful stupidity that I see

a like beautiful stupidity that I see with a lot of athletes y you know that

with a lot of athletes y you know that that there are certainly very smart

that there are certainly very smart people that have been super successful

people that have been super successful in their sport but there's also a kind

in their sport but there's also a kind of cultivated idiocy that they're a you

of cultivated idiocy that they're a you know they're like a a sort of channel

know they're like a a sort of channel that in you know the midwit meme do you

that in you know the midwit meme do you know what that is no so it's a bell

know what that is no so it's a bell curve and on the left is this guy that

curve and on the left is this guy that looks like a neander throl he's got a

looks like a neander throl he's got a brow like mine and then the guy in the

brow like mine and then the guy in the middle is this sort of raging um midwit

middle is this sort of raging um midwit that's trying to over optimize things

that's trying to over optimize things and failing and the guy on the right is

and failing and the guy on the right is a sage who's got a HUD up he looks like

a sage who's got a HUD up he looks like a Jedi and the joke is that the guy on

a Jedi and the joke is that the guy on the left and the guy on the right always

the left and the guy on the right always agree that the master and the idiot

agree that the master and the idiot always end up arriving at the same thing

always end up arriving at the same thing so it's like uh eat protein lift weights

so it's like uh eat protein lift weights eat protein lift weights I must ensure

eat protein lift weights I must ensure that my pre-digested way is consumed 30

that my pre-digested way is consumed 30 it's intra workout with the optim you

it's intra workout with the optim you know it's just eat protein left weights

know it's just eat protein left weights is that and it's the this sort of uh

is that and it's the this sort of uh yeah cultivated idiocy or whatever where

yeah cultivated idiocy or whatever where people just I am not going to overthink

people just I am not going to overthink this coach said go in there and LIF to

this coach said go in there and LIF to failure I'm just going to go in and left

failure I'm just going to go in and left to failure just going to go do it yeah

to failure just going to go do it yeah yeah and it comes down to the experience

yeah and it comes down to the experience of trusting your inition you know I know

of trusting your inition you know I know what my body needs I've been here for 10

what my body needs I've been here for 10 years I can just feel it I pick up a

years I can just feel it I pick up a weight I feel a certain way in the day I

weight I feel a certain way in the day I know what I need to do and you just got

know what I need to do and you just got to trust your instincts and do it

to trust your instincts and do it overthink it sometimes I heard you say

overthink it sometimes I heard you say there's only one thing I dread not to be

there's only one thing I dread not to be worthy of my

worthy of my sufferings what's

sufferings what's that of me trying to be very

philosophical there's a few meanings behind that I

think it's how you handle your sufferings you know when you're when

sufferings you know when you're when you're going through something really

you're going through something really challenging how do you show up within it

challenging how do you show up within it do you choose to become a victim of

do you choose to become a victim of complaining and misery and shitty or do

complaining and misery and shitty or do you find meaning in how you show up in

you find meaning in how you show up in the suffering you know and this isn't

the suffering you know and this isn't really my line of thinking this is like

really my line of thinking this is like man search for meaning Victor Frankle

man search for meaning Victor Frankle kind of talked about this and I read

kind of talked about this and I read that book last year probably when I said

that book last year probably when I said this and I reflected a lot about this

this and I reflected a lot about this honestly when Courtney was going through

honestly when Courtney was going through labor and she had had the child and I

labor and she had had the child and I was like holy like you were going

was like holy like you were going through this absolutely like like I'm

through this absolutely like like I'm I've never experienced that much pain in

I've never experienced that much pain in my entire life and she just remained

my entire life and she just remained calm controlled her breathing did what

calm controlled her breathing did what she needed to do change positions when

she needed to do change positions when they told her she needed to do within

they told her she needed to do within the tub with on the bed with doing all

the tub with on the bed with doing all these things and was just dialed she was

these things and was just dialed she was locked in lock in bro lock lock in and I

locked in lock in bro lock lock in and I I just was like you are suffering but

I just was like you are suffering but you were choosing to find meaning in how

you were choosing to find meaning in how you handle the suffering and that makes

you handle the suffering and that makes you so worthy of those sufferings and

you so worthy of those sufferings and it's such a beautiful thing to

it's such a beautiful thing to experience and you know when life throws

experience and you know when life throws some at us you're having this baby

some at us you're having this baby you're not choosing not to have this

you're not choosing not to have this baby you're going to go through this

baby you're going to go through this pain you're going to go through this

pain you're going to go through this suffering how are you going to choose to

suffering how are you going to choose to show up like I was talking about before

show up like I was talking about before there are things out of your control

there are things out of your control what's in your control how can you take

what's in your control how can you take that power back into your own hands and

that power back into your own hands and what are you going to take from it what

what are you going to take from it what kind of meaning can you find from taking

kind of meaning can you find from taking power out of what you feel powerless in

power out of what you feel powerless in I heard this rumor from a friend that

I heard this rumor from a friend that after women give birth they have a a

after women give birth they have a a flood of hormones that allows them to um

flood of hormones that allows them to um color the memory of it so that it's less

color the memory of it so that it's less painful in retrospect is this true it's

painful in retrospect is this true it's crazy mother like this is all the

crazy mother like this is all the nurses it it doesn't happen immediately

nurses it it doesn't happen immediately but all the nurses were like ah give it

but all the nurses were like ah give it a few weeks and you'll forget about

a few weeks and you'll forget about you're going to want to do it again and

you're going to want to do it again and then court and Courtney was like after

then court and Courtney was like after she's like she's like why the did I

she's like she's like why the did I do that naturally she like why didn't

do that naturally she like why didn't you take the epidural like that sucked

you take the epidural like that sucked and then like a month or two ago she was

and then like a month or two ago she was like it was that bad I think I'll do it

like it was that bad I think I'll do it again like that and I'm like are you

again like that and I'm like are you that that bad that bad for me

that that bad that bad for me just to be in the room beside you and

just to be in the room beside you and her mom was with that too she's like we

her mom was with that too she's like we have to go through that again cor's like

have to go through that again cor's like it's fine I'm like what the but

it's fine I'm like what the but it's got to be true I mean if you were

it's got to be true I mean if you were to go through that much pain you never

to go through that much pain you never want to have a kid again it must be

want to have a kid again it must be something that's

something that's like just whatever the science is it

like just whatever the science is it makes just completely foret it was uh

makes just completely foret it was uh Andrew Schultz he talks about it on his

Andrew Schultz he talks about it on his new live show and uh he he the same

new live show and uh he he the same thing you know he's there stood on the

thing you know he's there stood on the sideline just being like hopefully

sideline just being like hopefully useless yeah uh you know the cheerleader

useless yeah uh you know the cheerleader I don't think he even got to pinch the

I don't think he even got to pinch the traps and uh it's like you got this

traps and uh it's like you got this honey good job and then she gets this

honey good job and then she gets this flood of

flood of whatever the Men in Black flashy

whatever the Men in Black flashy thing like

thing like neurochemically and it fixes her and

neurochemically and it fixes her and changes the way that she she feels about

changes the way that she she feels about it in r R and he's like I remember but I

it in r R and he's like I remember but I what about me where's my flood of

what about me where's my flood of hormones because I saw the person I love

hormones because I saw the person I love the most in the entire world go through

the most in the entire world go through all of this and now I'm being

all of this and now I'm being gaslit to say that I'm making it out to

gaslit to say that I'm making it out to be worse than it was it's like only one

be worse than it was it's like only one of us has got a rational memory of what

of us has got a rational memory of what actually occurred during this situation

actually occurred during this situation that's hilarious I've never heard about

that's hilarious I've never heard about it before and now apparently it's not a

it before and now apparently it's not a I hadn't heard about it either but the

I hadn't heard about it either but the nurses weren't saying it was science

nurses weren't saying it was science they were just saying like you're going

they were just saying like you're going to

to wor it's just going to happen I was like

wor it's just going to happen I was like damn yeah intense women's Minds

damn yeah intense women's Minds retconning their own experience of

retconning their own experience of childbirth is wild I mean we wouldn't

childbirth is wild I mean we wouldn't probably have enough people on The

probably have enough people on The Thirst if they didn't yeah Chris

Thirst if they didn't yeah Chris Bumstead ladies and gentlemen dude I

Bumstead ladies and gentlemen dude I appreciate you so much I know you're in

appreciate you so much I know you're in the middle of prep so I'm really

the middle of prep so I'm really grateful that we got to have another sit

grateful that we got to have another sit down this year me too I said I wasn't

down this year me too I said I wasn't going to do any more podcast but here we

going to do any more podcast but here we are two weeks stayed awake so it was an

are two weeks stayed awake so it was an honor I appreciate you having me back I

honor I appreciate you having me back I appreciate you too man thank you thank

appreciate you too man thank you thank you very much for tuning in if you

you very much for tuning in if you enjoyed that episode you will love my

enjoyed that episode you will love my full length conversation with the one

full length conversation with the one and only Dr Mike Israel right

and only Dr Mike Israel right here go on

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YouTube Transcript:Discipline, Confidence & The Champion’s Mindset - Chris Bumstead (4K)

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Discipline, Confidence & The Champion’s Mindset - Chris Bumstead (4K)