the summary that everybody wants to to do that but you know so many
do that but you know so many relationships don't seem to have that
relationships don't seem to have that positive dynamic in it so what was it
positive dynamic in it so what was it about Courtney that made you choose her
about Courtney that made you choose her or are there any uh fundamental
or are there any uh fundamental principles that you think people should
principles that you think people should be looking out
for I would say before what you're looking out for it's what you're putting
looking out for it's what you're putting out you know the law I don't understand
out you know the law I don't understand the Law of Attraction exactly how it is
the Law of Attraction exactly how it is but what you
but what you put out you
put out you attract if you're being your authentic
attract if you're being your authentic self our both word today you're being
self our both word today you're being your true self you're speaking about
your true self you're speaking about what's really important to you you're
what's really important to you you're putting out the energy that you care
putting out the energy that you care about that you want to get back into the
about that you want to get back into the world and you're being real you're going
world and you're being real you're going to get that back if you're putting on a
to get that back if you're putting on a show and you're chasing these
show and you're chasing these inauthentic goals that are for other
inauthentic goals that are for other people or to keep up with Society or
people or to keep up with Society or pressure their parents or whatever it
pressure their parents or whatever it might be you're going to start
might be you're going to start attracting people who are attracted to
attracting people who are attracted to those goals and that energy which isn't
those goals and that energy which isn't your real self rather than who you
your real self rather than who you really are and the incredible thing of
really are and the incredible thing of how me and Courtney met was I put out my
how me and Courtney met was I put out my first like YouTube video crying talking
first like YouTube video crying talking about something really emotional that I
about something really emotional that I had gone through the year I was in the
had gone through the year I was in the hospital talking about a really scary
hospital talking about a really scary time how how fearful I was being really
time how how fearful I was being really raw like first time ever talking about
raw like first time ever talking about it therapy session on camera crying and
it therapy session on camera crying and she saw that and she's like wow this guy
she saw that and she's like wow this guy is different like I've never like this
is different like I've never like this guy just came second in the Olympia and
guy just came second in the Olympia and he put out a video crying about like
he put out a video crying about like like his emotions going through this
like his emotions going through this like that's different I like that and
like that's different I like that and then she reached out to me and that's
then she reached out to me and that's how we That's What attracted to us it
how we That's What attracted to us it was that energy of authenticity and
was that energy of authenticity and emotion and rawness and realness that
emotion and rawness and realness that attracted us together and that was the
attracted us together and that was the foundation of our relationship of how we
foundation of our relationship of how we were going to build things going forward
were going to build things going forward so I think instead of what I was looking
so I think instead of what I was looking for it was what I was putting out in
for it was what I was putting out in that moment and she was attracted to it
that moment and she was attracted to it because that's who she is you know when
because that's who she is you know when I say she she's the light that lets
I say she she's the light that lets everyone be their best selves you know
everyone be their best selves you know she's the type of person where all go to
she's the type of person where all go to the bathro room and come out and someone
the bathro room and come out and someone will be crying and it'll be like or the
will be crying and it'll be like or the store clerk checking out her groceries
store clerk checking out her groceries is telling her about her child who XY
is telling her about her child who XY andz and all I'm like how I'm like what
andz and all I'm like how I'm like what do you she like I didn't say anything
do you she like I didn't say anything people just tell me all their stuff I'm
people just tell me all their stuff I'm like it but it's beautiful people just
like it but it's beautiful people just feel so safe and comfortable around her
feel so safe and comfortable around her because she's such an amazing Like
because she's such an amazing Like Loving selfless person it's just who her
Loving selfless person it's just who her it's her nature and she doesn't need to
it's her nature and she doesn't need to be anything other than that it's just
be anything other than that it's just all who she's always been and I just
all who she's always been and I just love that and I I'm like the protector
love that and I I'm like the protector of that energy cuz she gives out so much
of that energy cuz she gives out so much so I try and like protect her and then
so I try and like protect her and then in the confines of our home she gives me
in the confines of our home she gives me the space to be myself and be my raw
the space to be myself and be my raw self of what she saw and protects me in
self of what she saw and protects me in there it's so funny
there it's so funny that if you tried to be somebody else
that if you tried to be somebody else the person that ended up making you a
the person that ended up making you a better version of you wouldn't have even
better version of you wouldn't have even been interested like if you tried to put
been interested like if you tried to put on some sort of a show if that video
on some sort of a show if that video hadn't been there if you kept on closing
hadn't been there if you kept on closing down your emotions that was the very
down your emotions that was the very thing that she was going to be most
thing that she was going to be most attracted to I think this is one of the
attracted to I think this is one of the problems again with the jovic Nadal
problems again with the jovic Nadal federa way that this is the way that
federa way that this is the way that you're supposed to attract we understand
you're supposed to attract we understand what it is that women are attracted to
what it is that women are attracted to and I'm like maybe on average but you
and I'm like maybe on average but you can only put on a facade for so long
can only put on a facade for so long yeah and everyone's different yeah
yeah and everyone's different yeah you're going to end up in a relationship
you're going to end up in a relationship with somebody that loves you for not you
with somebody that loves you for not you and it's going to be exhausting yeah
and it's going to be exhausting yeah some people might not like that version
some people might not like that version of Courtney a lot of women might think
of Courtney a lot of women might think I'm I would be overly emotional and weak
I'm I would be overly emotional and weak or something and that that's fine but
or something and that that's fine but they're not for you they're not and
they're not for you they're not and you're not for them yeah and I think one
you're not for them yeah and I think one of the cool things I've discovered in
of the cool things I've discovered in our relationship was your ability to be
our relationship was your ability to be a burden to your partner is
a burden to your partner is important like for you to feel safe to
important like for you to feel safe to be a burden to your partner and for them
be a burden to your partner and for them to still show up and love you and then
to still show up and love you and then you're like oh wow like I don't need to
you're like oh wow like I don't need to give you anything in return you're not
give you anything in return you're not expecting anything in return I can put
expecting anything in return I can put my burdens on you and you love me and
my burdens on you and you love me and that makes me feel safe and love you so
that makes me feel safe and love you so when you put your burns on me I'll do
when you put your burns on me I'll do the same it just becomes this like
the same it just becomes this like burning Circle of Love You Know It's
burning Circle of Love You Know It's Just
Just I I feel like that's such an important
I I feel like that's such an important thing to find someone who you just feel
thing to find someone who you just feel safe being a burden to you're not going
safe being a burden to you're not going to intentionally be a burden but if you
to intentionally be a burden but if you it's you're sometimes you suck you know
it's you're sometimes you suck you know sometimes you're a burden and if you
sometimes you're a burden and if you don't even feel safe being like that
don't even feel safe being like that around your partner you have to just
around your partner you have to just withhold things from them and put on
withhold things from them and put on that show you're never going to feel
that show you're never going to feel like safe around them and you're not
like safe around them and you're not going to want want to be there for them
going to want want to be there for them as much when they're being a burden as
as much when they're being a burden as well just become these two people
well just become these two people dividing and conquering all your
dividing and conquering all your problems rather than taking on the world
problems rather than taking on the world together
together I really like that ideaa
I really like that ideaa that here I am not fully competent
that here I am not fully competent slightly broken in need of help oh and
slightly broken in need of help oh and you're still here yeah you didn't leave
you're still here yeah you didn't leave yeah yeah that's pretty beautiful in
yeah yeah that's pretty beautiful in other news this episode is brought to
other news this episode is brought to you by function I wanted a better way to
you by function I wanted a better way to track what was happening inside of my
track what was happening inside of my body and that is why I partnered with
body and that is why I partnered with function they run over 100 lab tests
function they run over 100 lab tests every year covering Heart hormone
every year covering Heart hormone nutrients thyroid and even detecting 50
nutrients thyroid and even detecting 50 types of cancer at stage one that's five
types of cancer at stage one that's five times more testing than a regular
times more testing than a regular physical best of all your results are
physical best of all your results are charted over your lifetime and explained
charted over your lifetime and explained in one simple dashboard lab testing like
in one simple dashboard lab testing like this would usually cost thousands but
this would usually cost thousands but with function it's only $500 I rely on
with function it's only $500 I rely on function because it's evidence-based and
function because it's evidence-based and run by a team of expert Physicians so
run by a team of expert Physicians so you can trust that the data and insights
you can trust that the data and insights you receive are scientifically sound and
you receive are scientifically sound and unbiased plus Dr Andrew hubman is the
unbiased plus Dr Andrew hubman is the scientific adviser and Dr Mark Heyman is
scientific adviser and Dr Mark Heyman is the chief medical officer function has a
the chief medical officer function has a 300,000 person weight list but every
300,000 person weight list but every Monday they open a few spots for modern
Monday they open a few spots for modern wisdom listeners you can bypass the
wisdom listeners you can bypass the weight list right now by going to the
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to function health.com slod wisdom that's function health.com slod wisdom
that's function health.com slod wisdom what do you wish more women knew about
what do you wish more women knew about how they can help their man become a
how they can help their man become a better version of himself because it
better version of himself because it seems like Courtney is very much able to
seems like Courtney is very much able to do that for you
do that for you what do I wish more women knew yeah I
what do I wish more women knew yeah I think the relationship that you guys
think the relationship that you guys have which is very open and emotionally
have which is very open and emotionally honest seems to be one that a lot of
honest seems to be one that a lot of women would want M uh obviously guys too
women would want M uh obviously guys too but uh I don't hear a massive amount of
but uh I don't hear a massive amount of advice for women about how they can
advice for women about how they can cultivate an environment that allows a
cultivate an environment that allows a man to be to flourish emotionally in the
man to be to flourish emotionally in the way that you are what do you wish more
way that you are what do you wish more women knew about how they could help
women knew about how they could help their man be more emotional safely
their man be more emotional safely that's a good
question I think being able to both understand and for the woman to
to both understand and for the woman to be able to express in an honest way and
be able to express in an honest way and she has to believe this that like I was
she has to believe this that like I was talking about how like TR confidence is
talking about how like TR confidence is truth you know you might want a strong
truth you know you might want a strong man up White Knight on his horse but if
man up White Knight on his horse but if he's not how he feels if he's not really
he's not how he feels if he's not really that person then it's not
that person then it's not really confident he's just putting on a
really confident he's just putting on a facade to please you so if you can truly
facade to please you so if you can truly show him and share with him and
show him and share with him and communicate with him that even when he's
communicate with him that even when he's feeling down and when he feels low when
feeling down and when he feels low when he feels emotional and all these things
he feels emotional and all these things him being able to share that with you is
him being able to share that with you is actually confidence and strength which
actually confidence and strength which men want to always exemplify you're
men want to always exemplify you're teaching him a new way to exemplify that
teaching him a new way to exemplify that strength that he wants to be and even if
strength that he wants to be and even if it's only within the confines of you two
it's only within the confines of you two no one else needs to know about it but
no one else needs to know about it but you tell him like when you share it with
you tell him like when you share it with me that you feel like that you're
me that you feel like that you're emotional that you hate yourself that
emotional that you hate yourself that you don't think you can do this when you
you don't think you can do this when you share that with me I think you're strong
share that with me I think you're strong like I think you're capable and I I
like I think you're capable and I I think you're strong just for sharing
think you're strong just for sharing that not because I know you can overcome
that not because I know you can overcome it but just for saying that out loud
it but just for saying that out loud that's strength and the man could be
that's strength and the man could be like wow like you know the woman
like wow like you know the woman has to believe that you know those are
has to believe that you know those are my beliefs that sharing that is strong
my beliefs that sharing that is strong and there's a lot of things where I
and there's a lot of things where I would still feel judged and nervous to
would still feel judged and nervous to say how I feel on online on on a podcast
say how I feel on online on on a podcast with hundreds of thousands of people
with hundreds of thousands of people listening but to her to my wife no you
listening but to her to my wife no you know I feel I share something with her
know I feel I share something with her and she's going to always see me as who
and she's going to always see me as who I am and it's strong to share and that
I am and it's strong to share and that I'm safe to do so it's strange that a
I'm safe to do so it's strange that a lot of people would feel more
lot of people would feel more comfortable sharing that stuff with
comfortable sharing that stuff with somebody that wasn't their
somebody that wasn't their partner that or what if they change the
partner that or what if they change the way that they see me this isn't holding
way that they see me this isn't holding a masculine frame this isn't being the
a masculine frame this isn't being the protector provider dominant Alpha that
protector provider dominant Alpha that I'm supposed to be or need to be in
I'm supposed to be or need to be in order to be able to keep her attraction
order to be able to keep her attraction triggers or whatever it is going yeah
triggers or whatever it is going yeah it's sad it is it is sad and you it's
it's sad it is it is sad and you it's everything's in moderation and balance
everything's in moderation and balance in his life you know you can't be a
in his life you know you can't be a puddle on the floor 24 hours a day can't
puddle on the floor 24 hours a day can't be a puddle on the floor 24 hours a day
be a puddle on the floor 24 hours a day you know there
you know there there's where where are your weaknesses
there's where where are your weaknesses are you always a strong masculine person
are you always a strong masculine person you can't show it or you always a puddle
you can't show it or you always a puddle on the floor and you need to work on
on the floor and you need to work on being more masculine so one way or the
being more masculine so one way or the other you got to find that balance and
other you got to find that balance and everyone's on a different end of the
everyone's on a different end of the spectrum and everyone's partner will
spectrum and everyone's partner will want a different spectrum and then you
want a different spectrum and then you just got to find the person that fits in
just got to find the person that fits in there and obviously over the years now
there and obviously over the years now I've proven to Courtney that in those
I've proven to Courtney that in those moments where I've broken down and feel
moments where I've broken down and feel like I'm worthless and can't do
like I'm worthless and can't do something I've risen up and done it and
something I've risen up and done it and I've always shown up to I've always
I've always shown up to I've always stepped up to the plate I've always been
stepped up to the plate I've always been what she needed I've always done what I
what she needed I've always done what I needed to do and I've proven to her that
needed to do and I've proven to her that no matter how crumbled I feel in the
no matter how crumbled I feel in the moment I've still become a better man
moment I've still become a better man and grown whether or not I've
and grown whether or not I've accomplished what I've wanted I've still
accomplished what I've wanted I've still grown been a better man and shown up for
grown been a better man and shown up for her where and when I could so she has
her where and when I could so she has the trust in me now whatever weakness I
the trust in me now whatever weakness I show her there will be strength too you
show her there will be strength too you know if my life was a movie and someone
know if my life was a movie and someone were to watch it I hope they'd be
were to watch it I hope they'd be inspired to take risks not just risks to
inspired to take risks not just risks to achieve success but Embrace feeling both
achieve success but Embrace feeling both pride and shame fear and excitement
pride and shame fear and excitement personally I want to experience as much
personally I want to experience as much life as possible and that only happens
life as possible and that only happens when you embrace the highs and the lows
when you embrace the highs and the lows and this is your thing about not just
and this is your thing about not just numbing the bad but numbing the good
numbing the bad but numbing the good numbing The Joy just revisit that for me
numbing The Joy just revisit that for me cuz I think a lot of people feel like if
cuz I think a lot of people feel like if 0 to 100 is the range of Human
0 to 100 is the range of Human Experience they kind of sit in 40 to 60
Experience they kind of sit in 40 to 60 yeah what did expanding that window out
yeah what did expanding that window out look like yeah I mean this kind of hit
look like yeah I mean this kind of hit me a few years ago when I was thinking
me a few years ago when I was thinking about I felt like I had a glass ceiling
about I felt like I had a glass ceiling of joy that I could feel I was like I
of joy that I could feel I was like I can I I feel happy but like it's I'm not
can I I feel happy but like it's I'm not like overjoyed and excited and like oh
like overjoyed and excited and like oh like
like ecstatic and then my therapist put it
ecstatic and then my therapist put it back on me she's like well what about
back on me she's like well what about the SE what about the floor do you have
the SE what about the floor do you have a floor of negative that you're willing
a floor of negative that you're willing to feel I'm like yeah like I don't want
to feel I'm like yeah like I don't want to feel the bad you she's like well they
to feel the bad you she's like well they expand at the same time you open up a
expand at the same time you open up a broad spectrum of emotion and you build
broad spectrum of emotion and you build your heart to feel these things and if
your heart to feel these things and if you don't have highs you don't have lows
you don't have highs you don't have lows it doesn't come if you numb the bad you
it doesn't come if you numb the bad you numb the good and that's kind of where
numb the good and that's kind of where that all came from so learning to
that all came from so learning to embrace all things and the funny thing
embrace all things and the funny thing is when you learn to embrace them
is when you learn to embrace them they're way more fleeting than you
they're way more fleeting than you realize to sit on something in your mind
realize to sit on something in your mind for a while to stress about and not want
for a while to stress about and not want to feel it it lingers for a long period
to feel it it lingers for a long period of time but to just embrace it and to
of time but to just embrace it and to feel it to cry to express it to whatever
feel it to cry to express it to whatever whatever however needs to express itself
whatever however needs to express itself out of you it happens a lot quicker than
out of you it happens a lot quicker than you think and you're able to move
you think and you're able to move through it and then when you look back
through it and then when you look back at it you're like that was kind of
at it you're like that was kind of beautiful you know like people love
beautiful you know like people love watching sad movies and crying sometimes
watching sad movies and crying sometimes and you're sad in the movie you're like
and you're sad in the movie you're like that was really sad but you you go
that was really sad but you you go back and you watch another sad movie you
back and you watch another sad movie you we like feeling things we enjoy emotion
we like feeling things we enjoy emotion it's The Human Experience is highs and
it's The Human Experience is highs and lows there is no high without lows and I
lows there is no high without lows and I think just being able to accept that
think just being able to accept that that there's inevitably going to be
that there's inevitably going to be times in your life and the more you can
times in your life and the more you can lean into them and feel them the more
lean into them and feel them the more you can lean into feeling to the high
you can lean into feeling to the high ones as well and it's just part of the
ones as well and it's just part of the journey it's interesting uh personally I
journey it's interesting uh personally I want to experience as much life as
want to experience as much life as possible I think when people think about
possible I think when people think about experiencing lots of life it's
experiencing lots of life it's adventures and it's travel and so on but
adventures and it's travel and so on but the range of Human Experience you can
the range of Human Experience you can have regardless of what circumstance
have regardless of what circumstance you're in regardless of the situation or
you're in regardless of the situation or the flight or the destination or
the flight or the destination or whatever uh a lot of that is capped just
whatever uh a lot of that is capped just by our preparedness to feel different
by our preparedness to feel different things yeah and uh yeah there's an awful
things yeah and uh yeah there's an awful lot of Adventure kind of to be had just
lot of Adventure kind of to be had just by opening yourself up to different
by opening yourself up to different experiences I often think about how many
experiences I often think about how many people sort of go through life just
people sort of go through life just within that 40 to
within that 40 to 60% range for sure of emotions and you
60% range for sure of emotions and you think oh my God you know you had this
think oh my God you know you had this unique Machinery up there in your head
unique Machinery up there in your head for 60 70 80 90 years and you got to
for 60 70 80 90 years and you got to explore like this one square of it over
explore like this one square of it over and over and over and over and over
and over and over and over and over again yeah and who why are we told that
again yeah and who why are we told that sadness is bad you know why is fear and
sadness is bad you know why is fear and sadness have to be a negative emotion I
sadness have to be a negative emotion I was I was thinking about the other day
was I was thinking about the other day and I have no idea but if you what if
and I have no idea but if you what if you were to raise someone and somehow
you were to raise someone and somehow not
not connecting the concept of bad negative
connecting the concept of bad negative to sadness and fear and anxiety and all
to sadness and fear and anxiety and all these things and it just being like it's
these things and it just being like it's just an emotion it's just an emotion
just an emotion it's just an emotion there's not good emotions there's no mad
there's not good emotions there's no mad emotions they just feeling I wonder if
emotions they just feeling I wonder if you could raise someone to have that
you could raise someone to have that belief in them what it would be like
belief in them what it would be like because the reality is it's true there's
because the reality is it's true there's no there are no bad emotions everything
no there are no bad emotions everything has a purpose and why it comes up and it
has a purpose and why it comes up and it helps process events in our life
helps process events in our life something happens that we don't know how
something happens that we don't know how to process we have feelings and emotions
to process we have feelings and emotions around it and then thoughts come
around it and then thoughts come afterwards it's just how our brains
afterwards it's just how our brains operate again it's that it's not the
operate again it's that it's not the fear or the shame it's the guilt about
fear or the shame it's the guilt about the fear and it's the agitation about
the fear and it's the agitation about the guilt about the fear because
the guilt about the fear because somewhere we've been taught that we
somewhere we've been taught that we should have guilt and fear and shame
should have guilt and fear and shame about the shame and guilt and fear where
about the shame and guilt and fear where does it come from I don't know man I
does it come from I don't know man I think you know a lot of the time we
think you know a lot of the time we don't feel comfortable to open up about
don't feel comfortable to open up about that stuff uh we
are ashamed I I think shame is is a really
ashamed I I think shame is is a really big driver uh shame and fear are two
big driver uh shame and fear are two sort of fundamental drivers to a lot of
sort of fundamental drivers to a lot of of bad emotions I'm worried about what
of bad emotions I'm worried about what will happen if I allow myself to feel
will happen if I allow myself to feel this thing there's the fear and I feel
this thing there's the fear and I feel uh guilty and less for having that
uh guilty and less for having that emotion that's the shame those to me at
emotion that's the shame those to me at least personally are massive drivers for
least personally are massive drivers for that I don't want to
that I don't want to appear weak or vulnerable or incompetent
appear weak or vulnerable or incompetent or not in Mastery uh I don't want to
or not in Mastery uh I don't want to risk this maybe this is the real me
risk this maybe this is the real me maybe this version of me that doesn't
maybe this version of me that doesn't have it all together like oh my God
have it all together like oh my God should you not have it all together are
should you not have it all together are you not supposed to be someone that's
you not supposed to be someone that's you know that is a a big driver I think
you know that is a a big driver I think for a lot of people and uh have you
for a lot of people and uh have you found it more difficult as
found it more difficult as you're success and popularity and eyes
you're success and popularity and eyes on you have grown have you found that
on you have grown have you found that more difficult that that battling with
more difficult that that battling with that shame of how you need to be and
that shame of how you need to be and whatnot I think so yeah um it waxes and
whatnot I think so yeah um it waxes and wanes MH there's periods where it's
wanes MH there's periods where it's better and periods where it's worse um
better and periods where it's worse um currently going through a period where
currently going through a period where it's worse like this year has just been
it's worse like this year has just been an awful lot
an awful lot of uh uncertainty like personal
of uh uncertainty like personal uncertainty uh like a pullback health
uncertainty uh like a pullback health spin like really rough autoimmune moldy
spin like really rough autoimmune moldy stuff this year which we need to talk
stuff this year which we need to talk about on the Vlog uh has just been so
about on the Vlog uh has just been so scary because it's the the main thing
scary because it's the the main thing that it takes away it's it's like a it's
that it takes away it's it's like a it's literally like somebody designed a
literally like somebody designed a personal pathology just for me one of
personal pathology just for me one of the main areas of the brain that it
the main areas of the brain that it impacts is your ability to recall words
impacts is your ability to recall words it's like that's my only job my
it's like that's my only job my only job that's what's affecting you
only job that's what's affecting you right now your thing yeah all the time
right now your thing yeah all the time so my only job is to recall words when
so my only job is to recall words when I'm either writing or speaking and I
I'm either writing or speaking and I forget people's names like Mis I
forget people's names like Mis I misremembering people's names all the
misremembering people's names all the time trying to find a word and having to
time trying to find a word and having to substitute it for something else which
substitute it for something else which wasn't the thing that I meant it's so
wasn't the thing that I meant it's so it's so annoying it's so frustrating and
it's so annoying it's so frustrating and that has sort of pushed me very quickly
that has sort of pushed me very quickly into a place of fear which is oh my God
into a place of fear which is oh my God like what if this is the way that you're
like what if this is the way that you're going to be forever the only reason that
going to be forever the only reason that people liked you is because you were
people liked you is because you were able to say these things the competence
able to say these things the competence is being taken away in that it it cut at
is being taken away in that it it cut at the very epicenter of what I presumed
the very epicenter of what I presumed and and assumed that my value was was to
and and assumed that my value was was to be able to offer the world and it's you
be able to offer the world and it's you just about managed to get yourself to a
just about managed to get yourself to a place where you'd achieved something
place where you'd achieved something that you were proud of and the very
that you were proud of and the very thing that allowed you to achieve it has
thing that allowed you to achieve it has now been risked being taken away from
now been risked being taken away from you it's scary yeah has the intention
you it's scary yeah has the intention behind the goals you're thinking
behind the goals you're thinking changed over the years that it felt like
changed over the years that it felt like it impacted that mentally does it feel
it impacted that mentally does it feel like your your path doesn't line up with
like your your path doesn't line up with your
your like authentic goals nearly as much no I
like authentic goals nearly as much no I don't think so um you know the reason
don't think so um you know the reason that I started the show originally was I
that I started the show originally was I didn't understand myself and I hoped
didn't understand myself and I hoped that if I spoke to enough people that
that if I spoke to enough people that were experts maybe they'd be able to
were experts maybe they'd be able to help and uh that's still the case you
help and uh that's still the case you know these conversations the ones that
know these conversations the ones that we've had the one that we had last year
we've had the one that we had last year the training Vlog we did earlier this
the training Vlog we did earlier this year all of those things I take little
year all of those things I take little bits and pieces away that help me
bits and pieces away that help me understand myself and the world around
understand myself and the world around me uh
me uh then you do start to sort of layer on
then you do start to sort of layer on top of that hope and expectation and and
top of that hope and expectation and and um like performance in a good way you
um like performance in a good way you know stepping up to the plate and
know stepping up to the plate and wanting to really get the best
wanting to really get the best conversation you can uh and this
conversation you can uh and this pressure that sort of comes along with
pressure that sort of comes along with that uh it's very much still the thing
that uh it's very much still the thing that I think I was meant to do but I
that I think I was meant to do but I don't know it be like being a
don't know it be like being a bodybuilder
bodybuilder and tearing a lat before you start
and tearing a lat before you start shrinking yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
shrinking yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah out of no sort of choice of
yeah yeah out of no sort of choice of your own and really they're not you sort
your own and really they're not you sort of scrabbling around trying to find a
of scrabbling around trying to find a solution to fix it and uh yeah it's
solution to fix it and uh yeah it's rough I bet well I don't connect any of
rough I bet well I don't connect any of my value to your intelligence Chris any
my value to your intelligence Chris any of your value to your intelligence I
of your value to your intelligence I appreciate
appreciate that don't stress in the face of
that don't stress in the face of adversity make adversity something you
adversity make adversity something you desire for an opportunity to
desire for an opportunity to grow it sounds an awful lot like
grow it sounds an awful lot like probably what I need to take a little
probably what I need to take a little bit of advice
bit of advice from it could be interpreted in a you
from it could be interpreted in a you can still stress about it it's okay to
can still stress about it it's okay to feel the stress more so the stress that
feel the stress more so the stress that leads to avoiding the
leads to avoiding the adversity
adversity because you know I and the other funny
because you know I and the other funny thing that I've thought about very
thing that I've thought about very related to this is going through
related to this is going through adversity you my life is very revolved
adversity you my life is very revolved around competing in olympias when I go
around competing in olympias when I go through adversity now I'm like this
through adversity now I'm like this could be a part of my speech you know I
could be a part of my speech you know I tore my lat last year I'm like when I
tore my lat last year I'm like when I win this Olympia and I stand up on stage
win this Olympia and I stand up on stage and I tell people I tore my lat in the
and I tell people I tore my lat in the middle of this prep they're going be
middle of this prep they're going be like oh my God and it's going to make
like oh my God and it's going to make this story that much cooler you know and
this story that much cooler you know and it's going to it's going to push me
it's going to it's going to push me Beyond to the levels of which I know I'm
Beyond to the levels of which I know I'm capable of accomplishing it's going to
capable of accomplishing it's going to show me that when something feels
show me that when something feels impossible it's not until it's not you
impossible it's not until it's not you know I got to keep pushing through and
know I got to keep pushing through and figuring it out so the stress is okay to
figuring it out so the stress is okay to feel in adversity it's where the stress
feel in adversity it's where the stress leads you that you need to avoid you
leads you that you need to avoid you need to prevent the stress from being
need to prevent the stress from being strong enough to make you avoid
strong enough to make you avoid adversity in the first place if you
adversity in the first place if you start to feel stressed about adversity I
start to feel stressed about adversity I think diving right into it is like the
think diving right into it is like the secret for
secret for growth if your definition of success is
growth if your definition of success is win or lose giving everything you've got
win or lose giving everything you've got and growing or learning along the way
and growing or learning along the way then you're setting yourself up for
then you're setting yourself up for success I really think the biggest cheat
success I really think the biggest cheat code in life is just going after it and
code in life is just going after it and not being concerned of whether or not
not being concerned of whether or not you fail at one specific task instead
you fail at one specific task instead understanding the big picture what your
understanding the big picture what your long-term goal is and knowing if you
long-term goal is and knowing if you keep driving forward and never
keep driving forward and never quit in the end you will
succeed great quote I've based a lot of my life in the
quote I've based a lot of my life in the past about my definition of success and
past about my definition of success and my definition of being a champion my
my definition of being a champion my definition of winning and I think it all
definition of winning and I think it all just comes down to you know again your
just comes down to you know again your values when I'm old what's the end of
values when I'm old what's the end of this look like you know my values of
this look like you know my values of being the best partner father person I
being the best partner father person I can
can be when I'm 50 if I have five or six or
be when I'm 50 if I have five or six or seven or eight or nine or 10 olympias
seven or eight or nine or 10 olympias are any of those affected by that no so
are any of those affected by that no so in this short-term goal of this moment
in this short-term goal of this moment of me wanting to win is this very
of me wanting to win is this very important yes but is the pressure of my
important yes but is the pressure of my life and value and worth dependent on
life and value and worth dependent on that no it's not it's the big picture of
that no it's not it's the big picture of my life that I'm focusing on of who I
my life that I'm focusing on of who I want to become going through all these
want to become going through all these things so if I win an Olympia how do I
things so if I win an Olympia how do I want to win that Olympia who do I want
want to win that Olympia who do I want to be when I win that Olympia how do I
to be when I win that Olympia how do I want to win it how do I want to show up
want to win it how do I want to show up my relationships if I lose that Olympia
my relationships if I lose that Olympia how do I want to lose who do I want to
how do I want to lose who do I want to be when I lose who am I becoming through
be when I lose who am I becoming through all these little challenges and goals
all these little challenges and goals along the way that aren't the big
along the way that aren't the big picture who am I becoming which is the
picture who am I becoming which is the big picture and I think that's so
big picture and I think that's so important to for me to understand it
important to for me to understand it everything that you choose to do and how
everything that you choose to do and how you handle it is shaping who you're
you handle it is shaping who you're becoming and at the end of the day when
becoming and at the end of the day when you're old and have grandkids and CH in
you're old and have grandkids and CH in your life you're the culmination of
your life you're the culmination of everything you've accomplished but also
everything you've accomplished but also how you accomplished it and how you
how you accomplished it and how you reacted to
reacted to it what's a big picture what do you want
it what's a big picture what do you want to become isn't it interesting that you
to become isn't it interesting that you could have you know the same mantle
could have you know the same mantle piece above the fire that's got however
piece above the fire that's got however many olympias on it and objectively when
many olympias on it and objectively when grandkids are bouncing on your knee they
grandkids are bouncing on your knee they look and see the same thing but the
look and see the same thing but the person behind them and the experiences
person behind them and the experiences that they went through and who they
that they went through and who they became in the process can be totally
became in the process can be totally different which kind of shows that the
different which kind of shows that the outcomes that you get really are in the
outcomes that you get really are in the end kind of arbitrary and it's the
end kind of arbitrary and it's the person that's behind the grandkid that
person that's behind the grandkid that kind of matters yeah exactly if I had a
kind of matters yeah exactly if I had a picture of myself and I hadn't never won
picture of myself and I hadn't never won an Olympia and then I had a picture of
an Olympia and then I had a picture of myself that w six Olympians and my kids
myself that w six Olympians and my kids were looking at holy you were Jack
were looking at holy you were Jack dad that's where their thought ends it's
dad that's where their thought ends it's not like you had five you had six you
not like you had five you had six you had seven it doesn't matter you know
had seven it doesn't matter you know that's cool you're Jack but who are you
that's cool you're Jack but who are you and how do you show up in my life every
and how do you show up in my life every day yeah you know and how did those
day yeah you know and how did those Pursuits how did the goals that you
Pursuits how did the goals that you tried to achieve or did achieve change
tried to achieve or did achieve change you yeah how did they cause you to be a
you yeah how did they cause you to be a different sort of father or grandfather
different sort of father or grandfather or husband or friend or business partner
or husband or friend or business partner or whatever and what lessons did you
or whatever and what lessons did you learn and take from them that you can
learn and take from them that you can give to me so that I can learn from them
give to me so that I can learn from them and hopefully not go through as much
and hopefully not go through as much pain while still learning the same
pain while still learning the same lesson not nothing disrupts your sleep
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wisdom and moderns wisdom a checkout this is a pretty important one
this is a pretty important one everything changed for me when I
everything changed for me when I realized that we're not meant to feel
realized that we're not meant to feel excited and perfect all the time I
excited and perfect all the time I started accepting that where I am right
started accepting that where I am right now is where I'm genuinely meant to be
now is where I'm genuinely meant to be tough days are all a part of the process
tough days are all a part of the process lean into them bad days are also part of
lean into them bad days are also part of a very good and meaningful life so on my
a very good and meaningful life so on my toughest days I think about getting
toughest days I think about getting through one more day one more workout
through one more day one more workout one more rep
yeah I think I mean this applies deeply in
in the I mean on a smaller level of the
the I mean on a smaller level of the starvation of prep when you're trying to
starvation of prep when you're trying to get through it and you're just you're
get through it and you're just you're just trying to get through one more what
just trying to get through one more what was the first part of that Quan
was the first part of that Quan everything changed for me when I
everything changed for me when I realized we're not meant to feel excited
realized we're not meant to feel excited and perfect all the time yeah this was
and perfect all the time yeah this was the the idea of pursuing happiness not
the the idea of pursuing happiness not leading to happiness you know you you
leading to happiness you know you you purs you pursue things that have meaning
purs you pursue things that have meaning in life and things that you care about
in life and things that you care about you know love challenges
you know love challenges relationships and happiness might insue
relationships and happiness might insue but you don't pursue the happiness
but you don't pursue the happiness itself because it's inevitably not going
itself because it's inevitably not going to be there all the time so if you're
to be there all the time so if you're just constantly seeking more happiness
just constantly seeking more happiness and it's not there then you're seeking
and it's not there then you're seeking something that's never going to be there
something that's never going to be there but if you're able to just stick in what
but if you're able to just stick in what you're doing right now and in those Hard
you're doing right now and in those Hard Times believing they're going to lead to
Times believing they're going to lead to Good
Good Times it just creates a lot less
Times it just creates a lot less friction in your life you know and I
friction in your life you know and I think whenever we're going through a
think whenever we're going through a hard time we just want it to end but
hard time we just want it to end but it's those moments that allow us to
it's those moments that allow us to appreciate the good ones what would you
appreciate the good ones what would you say to someone who's going through a
say to someone who's going through a string of bad days or bad weeks or bad
alone you know I think sometimes a quick word of just looking them and being like
word of just looking them and being like I know you're not alone give him a hug
I know you're not alone give him a hug and be like this is right now and
and be like this is right now and it's okay but you're not
it's okay but you're not alone what does lean into them
alone what does lean into them mean lean into the bad
days I think specifically nowadays it's so easy to numb there's so many
so easy to numb there's so many distractions so many things that we can
distractions so many things that we can just avoid feeling things with you know
just avoid feeling things with you know staple being your phone you you want to
staple being your phone you you want to cry you you fight your tears you're
cry you you fight your tears you're feeling stressed you're overthinking
feeling stressed you're overthinking something so you just pull up Instagram
something so you just pull up Instagram and you doom scroll for 20 minutes you
and you doom scroll for 20 minutes you get distracted you see a funny video of
get distracted you see a funny video of a cat close your phone and you forget
a cat close your phone and you forget about it that's not gone those feelings
about it that's not gone those feelings are still there they're just pushed down
are still there they're just pushed down from a couple Instagram videos that are
from a couple Instagram videos that are distracted and next thing you know a
distracted and next thing you know a couple days go by and you just feel this
couple days go by and you just feel this anxiety over yourself and you're like
anxiety over yourself and you're like why do I feel anxious I just feel like I
why do I feel anxious I just feel like I can't I can't sleep and wake up at 5:00
can't I can't sleep and wake up at 5:00 a.m. overthinking like I don't know
a.m. overthinking like I don't know what's going I have no idea people like
what's going I have no idea people like well are you stressed about anything
well are you stressed about anything like No And this is something that I've
like No And this is something that I've had to call myself out on if you ask me
had to call myself out on if you ask me if I'm stressed half the time my answer
if I'm stressed half the time my answer is no you feel are you stressed no I'm
is no you feel are you stressed no I'm fine I feel great and then if you look
fine I feel great and then if you look at me like do you feel calm do you feel
at me like do you feel calm do you feel at e do you feel relaxed I'd be like
at e do you feel relaxed I'd be like no so where where where am I
no so where where where am I feeling and for some reason stress to me
feeling and for some reason stress to me is like numb but it's stress so I don't
is like numb but it's stress so I don't really feel it and it's typically from
really feel it and it's typically from not allowing myself to lean into the
not allowing myself to lean into the shitty time the thoughts the
shitty time the thoughts the shitty days and being able to sit with
shitty days and being able to sit with them and be with them accept what they
them and be with them accept what they are and process them properly rather
are and process them properly rather than just numbing them so funny that you
than just numbing them so funny that you Ed the word lean into them uh Ben
Ed the word lean into them uh Ben Bergeron in chasing Excellence says
Bergeron in chasing Excellence says uh lean into discomfort as if you
uh lean into discomfort as if you invited it through the door and I it's a
invited it through the door and I it's a phrase that's stuck with me because it
phrase that's stuck with me because it feels
feels like you are in control of the frame
like you are in control of the frame like okay and you come and let's do this
like okay and you come and let's do this yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah as opposed to
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah as opposed to again the fear that you have around
again the fear that you have around being guilty or the agitation you have
being guilty or the agitation you have around being shameful or the distraction
around being shameful or the distraction that you need to do in order to be able
that you need to do in order to be able to get away from it it's
to get away from it it's uh it's an interesting one to think
uh it's an interesting one to think about how bad days are also a part of a
about how bad days are also a part of a very good and meaningful life that it
very good and meaningful life that it does really
does really frame the story at the end both you and
frame the story at the end both you and hosi have said the same thing in the
hosi have said the same thing in the last two episodes I've spoken to you
last two episodes I've spoken to you about which is
about which is the bad
the bad days create the story that I'm one day
days create the story that I'm one day going to tell myself about what I got
going to tell myself about what I got through you know what I mean
through you know what I mean yeah without the bad days the story
yeah without the bad days the story would be way more lame there would be no
would be way more lame there would be no glory in overcoming anything cuz what
glory in overcoming anything cuz what did you overcome it was all just 40 to
did you overcome it was all just 40 to 60 you know vanilla ice cream mush gray
60 you know vanilla ice cream mush gray like existence yeah I mean it's like the
like existence yeah I mean it's like the concept of the fear exposure therapy
concept of the fear exposure therapy when you're trying to build confidence
when you're trying to build confidence about something you're afraid of being
about something you're afraid of being exposed to the fear helps you overcome
exposed to the fear helps you overcome that but actively choosing to take that
that but actively choosing to take that fear on head on as actually What It
fear on head on as actually What It Takes I can't throw a spider at you and
Takes I can't throw a spider at you and you not afraid of spidered but you
you not afraid of spidered but you choosing in your own mind to actively go
choosing in your own mind to actively go to that Spider by yourself makes you
to that Spider by yourself makes you actually grow from it so you choosing to
actually grow from it so you choosing to take power of what little you can when
take power of what little you can when you're feeling like when everything's
you're feeling like when everything's crumbling around you and you feel
crumbling around you and you feel powerless and helpless well what can you
powerless and helpless well what can you take control of you can take control of
take control of you can take control of opening your door and letting that
opening your door and letting that embracing that you know leaning into
embracing that you know leaning into that hard time like I'm going to choose
that hard time like I'm going to choose to feel this it's here I didn't choose
to feel this it's here I didn't choose that but I'm going to choose to feel it
that but I'm going to choose to feel it and I have power over the choice of what
and I have power over the choice of what I feel and then you take your power back
I feel and then you take your power back and you can build your confidence from
and you can build your confidence from there I had a conversation recently with
there I had a conversation recently with a guy called Dr Jim Zaki who wrote a
a guy called Dr Jim Zaki who wrote a book called hope for cynics um and it's
book called hope for cynics um and it's interesting thinking about
how widespread skepticism cynicism are uh skepticism being the good version of
uh skepticism being the good version of cynicism cynicism being kind of uh total
cynicism cynicism being kind of uh total blanket coverage everything is
blanket coverage everything is everything sucks everybody is evil and
everything sucks everybody is evil and out for themselves and uh you had a bit
out for themselves and uh you had a bit of a rant one day where you said
of a rant one day where you said everyone's hypocritical and terrified to
everyone's hypocritical and terrified to do anything and put themselves out there
do anything and put themselves out there and fail so we hyper analyze hyper
and fail so we hyper analyze hyper criticize become paralyzed and end up
criticize become paralyzed and end up doing nothing sitting in our basements
doing nothing sitting in our basements watching Tik toks of other people's
watching Tik toks of other people's lives pretending that they're happy I
lives pretending that they're happy I was having one of those cnic days and
was having one of those cnic days and felt like ranting a little but honestly
felt like ranting a little but honestly there's optimism here for some low
there's optimism here for some low barrier of Entry personal growth stop
barrier of Entry personal growth stop analyzing stop criticizing both yourself
analyzing stop criticizing both yourself and others and Go fail at some go
and others and Go fail at some go give someone a good job for sucking at
give someone a good job for sucking at something because at least they're
something because at least they're trying maybe it will even give yourself
trying maybe it will even give yourself permission to do the same we find
permission to do the same we find meaning in trying difficult things not
meaning in trying difficult things not just in succeeding at
just in succeeding at them how do you avoid being too cynical
them how do you avoid being too cynical it's widespread it's everywhere how do
it's widespread it's everywhere how do you avoid it
you avoid it don't get stuck in the
don't get stuck in the simulation uh I mean it's all it's all
simulation uh I mean it's all it's all there's a million things it's
there's a million things it's perspective checks it's environment who
perspective checks it's environment who you choose to surround yourself with
you choose to surround yourself with what you choose to consume you know like
what you choose to consume you know like are you choosing to
are you choosing to consume false simulations of someone's
consume false simulations of someone's life on Tik Tok compare yourself to it
life on Tik Tok compare yourself to it and think you're not doing enough are
and think you're not doing enough are you choosing to live in the real world
you choosing to live in the real world having conversation with good people who
having conversation with good people who are being realistic and taking risks are
are being realistic and taking risks are you choosing to be around negative
you choosing to be around negative people or positive people you know every
people or positive people you know every every single day you you choose who you
every single day you you choose who you surround yourself with you choose what
surround yourself with you choose what you do you you're in control of a lot
you do you you're in control of a lot more than you believe you are and I
more than you believe you are and I think people like to get caught up in
think people like to get caught up in routine and norm and feeling obligated
routine and norm and feeling obligated to their old friends or family or this
to their old friends or family or this or that and staying kind of where they
or that and staying kind of where they are but pushing yourself out of that
are but pushing yourself out of that sometimes is exactly what you need and I
sometimes is exactly what you need and I think it's it's just scary for change
think it's it's just scary for change sometimes but you know there's
sometimes but you know there's the concept of living life is just so
the concept of living life is just so simple you could take the words live
simple you could take the words live your life and expand on that into a
your life and expand on that into a million page essay and just do it but
million page essay and just do it but just getting out there and living and
just getting out there and living and experiencing life and doing the things
experiencing life and doing the things that are difficult and challenging and
that are difficult and challenging and cause you to grow and to you know if you
cause you to grow and to you know if you think of the person that the person that
think of the person that the person that I envy the most and I enjoy being around
I envy the most and I enjoy being around the most is just that like old wise man
the most is just that like old wise man who has all these crazy stories who's
who has all these crazy stories who's lived this all this life and it's just
lived this all this life and it's just like happy to sit on the park bench and
like happy to sit on the park bench and talk to random people about what he's
talk to random people about what he's done you know
done you know it's if that's a person I respect how do
it's if that's a person I respect how do I become that person it's not from doing
I become that person it's not from doing nothing it's from doing something it's
nothing it's from doing something it's funny that we kind of see the trajectory
funny that we kind of see the trajectory that everybody's on because we can all
that everybody's on because we can all see old people now old people that seem
see old people now old people that seem to be content we think well if that's
to be content we think well if that's where I'm going to end up is there
where I'm going to end up is there another way that I can just speedrun
another way that I can just speedrun bringing some of that into now now yeah
bringing some of that into now now yeah you know what I mean we also see old
you know what I mean we also see old people who aren't content at all you
people who aren't content at all you know you see a lot of old people now who
know you see a lot of old people now who are even more sucked than some young
are even more sucked than some young people into the simulation of the hyper
people into the simulation of the hyper reality of their phones and their
reality of their phones and their content and just being like stucked into
content and just being like stucked into that and you also don't want
that and you also don't want to you want to see yourself spent into
to you want to see yourself spent into the future what if that's a path you're
the future what if that's a path you're on well well it should be a ction retail
on well well it should be a ction retail yeah right that should be the the route
yeah right that should be the the route that you want to try and avoid as much
that you want to try and avoid as much as possible had a conversation with
as possible had a conversation with David SRA who just found his podcast you
David SRA who just found his podcast you know he's broken down 300 400 famous
know he's broken down 300 400 famous people from history and he reads all of
people from history and he reads all of the books on them and then he he talks
the books on them and then he he talks about them on his podcast and uh I was
about them on his podcast and uh I was asking him about how people do most of
asking him about how people do most of the people he learns about as successful
the people he learns about as successful in one form or another basically how
in one form or another basically how people do success wrong uh and he just
people do success wrong uh and he just has endless stories of people who
has endless stories of people who achieved a ton of worldly success and
achieved a ton of worldly success and seem to have absolutely zero fun in the
seem to have absolutely zero fun in the process none none at all and you know
process none none at all and you know there was this one story about this dude
there was this one story about this dude I think worth you know billions and
I think worth you know billions and billions of dollars and was in his late
billions of dollars and was in his late 70s had maybe grandkids maybe even great
70s had maybe grandkids maybe even great grandkids at this point and was still
grandkids at this point and was still showing up to conferences you know sort
showing up to conferences you know sort of beating down deals on the door at 78
of beating down deals on the door at 78 years old you know with this illustrious
years old you know with this illustrious career behind him uh and he didn't David
career behind him uh and he didn't David didn't think that this was coming from
didn't think that this was coming from some well balanced desire to Maxim his
some well balanced desire to Maxim his calling in life which was to be the best
calling in life which was to be the best business leader salesperson but just
business leader salesperson but just this as yet un alchemized compulsion to
this as yet un alchemized compulsion to need to be busy and to be seen and for
need to be busy and to be seen and for validation and for recognition and for
validation and for recognition and for success and so on and so forth and uh I
success and so on and so forth and uh I used to say you know from my old Life as
used to say you know from my old Life as a club promoter that there was nothing
a club promoter that there was nothing really sadder than seeing uh some guys
really sadder than seeing uh some guys in their 40s For Whom the single best
in their 40s For Whom the single best part of their life was getting a bag in
part of their life was getting a bag in with the boys on a weekend the same
with the boys on a weekend the same place the same Club the same parties
place the same Club the same parties week in week out for decades and decades
week in week out for decades and decades and decades but I actually think that
and decades but I actually think that the 78-year-old guy that as yet hasn't
the 78-year-old guy that as yet hasn't alchemized is just the more seductive
alchemized is just the more seductive more publicly acceptable version of that
more publicly acceptable version of that which makes it even more dangerous
which makes it even more dangerous because there's few people fewer people
because there's few people fewer people that are going to say well you know at
that are going to say well you know at least you're not going out and getting a
least you're not going out and getting a bag of cocaine with the boys in 78y Old
bag of cocaine with the boys in 78y Old Man uh but yeah it's a caution retail I
Man uh but yeah it's a caution retail I think that we should all be pretty
think that we should all be pretty scared about it's a challenge
scared about it's a challenge because I mean I made the joke about the
because I mean I made the joke about the simulation but like it's so easy now for
simulation but like it's so easy now for us to see other people's lives in such a
us to see other people's lives in such a specific narrative that they want us to
specific narrative that they want us to see and it's like a responsibility for
see and it's like a responsibility for people who have a platform and followers
people who have a platform and followers to be honest but they have no reason to
to be honest but they have no reason to be they don't have to be so if we're
be they don't have to be so if we're looking up to these people who have
looking up to these people who have worked 40 Years of their life to become
worked 40 Years of their life to become this billionaire and you know they talk
this billionaire and you know they talk about like maximize efficiency be as
about like maximize efficiency be as like use everything for this optimize
like use everything for this optimize this be perfect in this all these things
this be perfect in this all these things and it's all about optimization
and it's all about optimization efficiency make more money work harder
efficiency make more money work harder wake up earlier morning routine
wake up earlier morning routine everything all these things and it's
everything all these things and it's like well that'll get me to his life
like well that'll get me to his life what if that dude's miserable
what if that dude's miserable you know what if he's optimized and Rich
you know what if he's optimized and Rich As and drives that nice Ferrari but
As and drives that nice Ferrari but he hates his life you know we'll never
he hates his life you know we'll never know may maybe he's very different from
know may maybe he's very different from me and maybe his goals and his morals
me and maybe his goals and his morals and his values are completely different
and his values are completely different than me and I'm not going to I can't
than me and I'm not going to I can't project onto that
project onto that but we'll never really know the truth of
but we'll never really know the truth of if those people are happy or not but
if those people are happy or not but these young kids are watching this story
these young kids are watching this story watching this journey and they're like
watching this journey and they're like that's who I want to be I want to live
that's who I want to be I want to live like that I'm going to work like that
like that I'm going to work like that until I have that very very dangerous
until I have that very very dangerous using anybody as a role model that
using anybody as a role model that doesn't seem to be being transparent you
doesn't seem to be being transparent you know I think tired though of course and
know I think tired though of course and you don't know whether the transparency
you don't know whether the transparency is
is performative uh how much of this is how
performative uh how much of this is how how much self- knowledge do people have
how much self- knowledge do people have anyway like how arent are we to
anyway like how arent are we to ourselves and then on top of that how
ourselves and then on top of that how much do we allow ourselves to tell the
much do we allow ourselves to tell the people and then how much of that do we
people and then how much of that do we allow to go into a public platform you
allow to go into a public platform you know there's so many filters it's kind
know there's so many filters it's kind of amazing that anybody says anything
of amazing that anybody says anything truthful ever you know like there's so
truthful ever you know like there's so many yeah incentives and and uh uh
many yeah incentives and and uh uh obfuscations that don't allow us to see
obfuscations that don't allow us to see what we believe or feel yeah even if
what we believe or feel yeah even if you're not numbing with like boring
you're not numbing with like boring stuff like Instagram you could be be
stuff like Instagram you could be be efficient and optimized in your life
efficient and optimized in your life enough to have a morning routine a night
enough to have a morning routine a night routine and work hard enough to never
routine and work hard enough to never have a a spot for introspection of
have a a spot for introspection of genuine introspection you you can think
genuine introspection you you can think of like this is a cool quote about
of like this is a cool quote about business and working hard but it's not
business and working hard but it's not really about how you feel and you could
really about how you feel and you could live your life in a very efficient
live your life in a very efficient beautiful well articulated Manner and
beautiful well articulated Manner and have no idea who the you really are
have no idea who the you really are busy calendar is a great hedge against
busy calendar is a great hedge against feeling feelings you know if you just
feeling feelings you know if you just Bounce from meeting to meeting look at
Bounce from meeting to meeting look at how important I am all of these people
how important I am all of these people need me they all want me I've got all of
need me they all want me I've got all of these things going on there's no you
these things going on there's no you know to go back to sort of the drugs
know to go back to sort of the drugs analogy there's no point where you're at
analogy there's no point where you're at the come down after the Afterparty you
the come down after the Afterparty you know as the cocaine's wearing off or as
know as the cocaine's wearing off or as the the hangover's kicking in there's no
the the hangover's kicking in there's no hangover you're just permanently in
hangover you're just permanently in dopamine party mode for however many you
dopamine party mode for however many you know Decades of life and uh yeah I think
know Decades of life and uh yeah I think busy calendars for a lot of people
busy calendars for a lot of people protect them against the
protect them against the existential eye wide pain of having to
existential eye wide pain of having to work out I I actually why am I doing
work out I I actually why am I doing this am I doing this for the right
this am I doing this for the right reasons is this what I'm supposed to be
reasons is this what I'm supposed to be doing do I really enjoy this or Yeah you
doing do I really enjoy this or Yeah you mentioned especially now that you've got
mentioned especially now that you've got Daddy Daycare Duty that you're having to
Daddy Daycare Duty that you're having to learn to say no more I think you said
learn to say no more I think you said previously you said no 90% of the time
previously you said no 90% of the time and now it's 99% of the time so thank
and now it's 99% of the time so thank you for saying yes um
you for saying yes um uh what would be your advice for people
uh what would be your advice for people that struggle to say no perennial people
that struggle to say no perennial people Pleasers and those that struggle to
Pleasers and those that struggle to advocate for their own needs or put
advocate for their own needs or put their uh desires first how can people be
their uh desires first how can people be better
nosers it's a good question because it kind of took me into a cheat code to
kind of took me into a cheat code to really get good at it and that's
really get good at it and that's leverage you know it's in at least in my
like professional performative life I I I said yes
life I I I said yes more but I guess from the
more but I guess from the beginning if I really think about it
beginning if I really think about it I've always worked hard to just say yes
I've always worked hard to just say yes to things that I actually cared about
to things that I actually cared about you know I tried not to be in starting
you know I tried not to be in starting out as like an influencer I tried not to
out as like an influencer I tried not to be a sellout you know I got offered a
be a sellout you know I got offered a lot of money I've turned down some crazy
lot of money I've turned down some crazy deals that I'm still like holy like
deals that I'm still like holy like few hundred grand a month deals and I
few hundred grand a month deals and I just said no because it's not a product
just said no because it's not a product that I would use without the money and
that I would use without the money and that's like it was inauthentic to me and
that's like it was inauthentic to me and I was like but over time saying not
I was like but over time saying not of those things have opened up more
of those things have opened up more doors and more opportunity I still
doors and more opportunity I still haven't got a contract that big but I
haven't got a contract that big but I haven't sold out and people still trust
haven't sold out and people still trust me at least and I'm standing behind
me at least and I'm standing behind Brands only that I love or that I own so
Brands only that I love or that I own so I think just being able to stick true
I think just being able to stick true and checking in with yourself being like
and checking in with yourself being like who am I what do I care about what are I
who am I what do I care about what are I think authentic goals is like a huge
think authentic goals is like a huge word of mine now what's truly authentic
word of mine now what's truly authentic to me one of I working towards it
to me one of I working towards it something I care about rather than
something I care about rather than things I think other people were care
things I think other people were care about for me and I think that's
about for me and I think that's absolutely huge and you know
absolutely huge and you know also I've worked really hard over the
also I've worked really hard over the past decade of my life to be in a really
past decade of my life to be in a really high highly successful position to have
high highly successful position to have a healthy amount of Leverage where now
a healthy amount of Leverage where now when I say no to people I get a better
when I say no to people I get a better offer back when I say no I get a better
offer back when I say no I get a better offer back like can you come to the trip
offer back like can you come to the trip we'll give you 50 Grand I'm like no
we'll give you 50 Grand I'm like no we'll give you 100 no we'll we'll get
we'll give you 100 no we'll we'll get you private J give you 150 I'm like why
you private J give you 150 I'm like why maybe you know and it's leverage whereas
maybe you know and it's leverage whereas before if they're like you want to come
before if they're like you want to come up no like all right you we don't
up no like all right you we don't care Y and it's different but I've had
care Y and it's different but I've had to work really hard to get there and to
to work really hard to get there and to put yourself in that position you know I
put yourself in that position you know I I there's times where I've said no in
I there's times where I've said no in the past and people haven't given a
the past and people haven't given a at all and over time now I'm at a point
at all and over time now I'm at a point where if I say no it's there's a little
where if I say no it's there's a little more leverage behind what I can do and I
more leverage behind what I can do and I can I can fangle it a little bit more
can I can fangle it a little bit more but that has also come from me sticking
but that has also come from me sticking to what was authentic to me and saying
to what was authentic to me and saying no so I built a trust behind what I
no so I built a trust behind what I represent and what I do now in my life
represent and what I do now in my life yeah your no now being worth something
yeah your no now being worth something is because you still said no when it was
is because you still said no when it was worth nothing previously mhm and along
worth nothing previously mhm and along the way I was working hard to make it
the way I was working hard to make it worth more on the back end I made it
worth more on the back end I made it worth it yeah that's such a a funny
worth it yeah that's such a a funny point I kind of brought this up a couple
point I kind of brought this up a couple of weeks ago on the show that
of weeks ago on the show that uh no one ever gets credit for saying no
uh no one ever gets credit for saying no to things that people don't know about
to things that people don't know about so you know the we got this offer a
so you know the we got this offer a while ago to bring somebody on the show
while ago to bring somebody on the show I've never never once paid anybody or
I've never never once paid anybody or taken money to bring anybody on the show
taken money to bring anybody on the show and we got offered a six figure sum to
and we got offered a six figure sum to bring some guy on to talk about oil or
bring some guy on to talk about oil or something to do with like something to
something to do with like something to do with energy or maybe it was the
do with energy or maybe it was the Middle East I something like that and it
Middle East I something like that and it just stank of deep State Saudi Iranian
just stank of deep State Saudi Iranian some Putin conspiracy thing I was like
some Putin conspiracy thing I was like this is this is so weird first off I'm
this is this is so weird first off I'm not taking the money but secondly
not taking the money but secondly there's no world like I'm not I guess
there's no world like I'm not I guess I'm saying it now but this was like a
I'm saying it now but this was like a year and a half ago or something and I'm
year and a half ago or something and I'm not saying it to flex I'm saying it's an
not saying it to flex I'm saying it's an interesting example but no one is ever
interesting example but no one is ever going to give anybody credit you know
going to give anybody credit you know the world the word grifter and shill get
the world the word grifter and shill get thrown around so much on the internet it
thrown around so much on the internet it makes me cringe but no one ever gets to
makes me cringe but no one ever gets to see all of the stuff that people turn
see all of the stuff that people turn down yeah like you
down yeah like you get called out for anything that you're
get called out for anything that you're associated with and never get credit for
associated with and never get credit for anything that you're not associated with
anything that you're not associated with now all of the guests that didn't come
now all of the guests that didn't come on the show mhm all of the the brand
on the show mhm all of the the brand deals all absolutely famous people who
deals all absolutely famous people who would gotten you so much views but they
would gotten you so much views but they didn't line up with you that you that I
didn't line up with you that you that I didn't want to bring on the episodes
didn't want to bring on the episodes that I recorded that I didn't release
that I recorded that I didn't release the people that wanted to come on that I
the people that wanted to come on that I decided not to the money like so much
decided not to the money like so much money that we've turned down on the show
money that we've turned down on the show cuz I go I don't think this product is
cuz I go I don't think this product is legit and I don't use it so I'm going to
legit and I don't use it so I'm going to say no uh meanwhile that anything that
say no uh meanwhile that anything that you ever uh participating in becomes a
you ever uh participating in becomes a vector for attack and all of the things
vector for attack and all of the things you didn't participate in are not vector
you didn't participate in are not vector for Commendation you go you want to SC I
for Commendation you go you want to SC I want to rip my face off but on the back
want to rip my face off but on the back end you can attribute way more of your
end you can attribute way more of your success to those nose oh absolutely
success to those nose oh absolutely because even now you starting a story
because even now you starting a story and saying someone offered me money I
and saying someone offered me money I can't even imagine you sitting across
can't even imagine you sitting across from someone and having a conversation
from someone and having a conversation and just knowing that you paid him you
and just knowing that you paid him you would probably be like here's your money
would probably be like here's your money back I'm leaving halfway through the
back I'm leaving halfway through the podcast if you even got there I don't
podcast if you even got there I don't care about your oil uh yeah it's just I
care about your oil uh yeah it's just I I I wish it's kind of a little bit like
I I wish it's kind of a little bit like uh somebody accusing you of not giving
uh somebody accusing you of not giving enough money to the homeless and you
enough money to the homeless and you saying but no no no I just I just gave
saying but no no no I just I just gave loads of money to the homeless over
loads of money to the homeless over there see how virtuous I are and then
there see how virtuous I are and then they go well no you just done that
they go well no you just done that because you could take a photo and talk
because you could take a photo and talk about you go well in that case I can't
about you go well in that case I can't win you know what I mean um it's
win you know what I mean um it's very it's it's interesting I I think uh
very it's it's interesting I I think uh I understand why everyone's kind of
I understand why everyone's kind of Griff and shill Radars hyper tuned on
Griff and shill Radars hyper tuned on the internet and rightly so because not
the internet and rightly so because not everybody's got everybody's best
everybody's got everybody's best interests at heart but um there is
interests at heart but um there is what's the term gri and chill shill i l
what's the term gri and chill shill i l heard so I actually asked I two terms
heard so I actually asked I two terms that I never use largely because I think
that I never use largely because I think that kind of like uh know racism in the
that kind of like uh know racism in the modern world it gets sort of so overly
modern world it gets sort of so overly used that you actually end up diluting
used that you actually end up diluting it down so it means everything and
it down so it means everything and nothing at the same time uh I asked on
nothing at the same time uh I asked on Twitter a while ago what grifa or shill
Twitter a while ago what grifa or shill means for the people who do use it and I
means for the people who do use it and I think the best uh the best example was
think the best uh the best example was uh a person who is affiliated with a
uh a person who is affiliated with a product or Serv service that they
product or Serv service that they wouldn't use if they weren't paid for it
wouldn't use if they weren't paid for it I was like huh okay that's an that's a
I was like huh okay that's an that's a an interesting um like framework to put
an interesting um like framework to put into it uh but it's a term which now
into it uh but it's a term which now covers a whole range of sins yeah um you
covers a whole range of sins yeah um you know interestingly it's kind of
know interestingly it's kind of dependent on who the two worlds are that
dependent on who the two worlds are that are coming together for instance when
are coming together for instance when Rogan got his Spotify deal the first one
Rogan got his Spotify deal the first one six five and a half six years ago there
six five and a half six years ago there was no one that called him a sellout for
was no one that called him a sellout for going to Spotify well why well because
going to Spotify well why well because there is an assumption that both Spotify
there is an assumption that both Spotify and Joe have so much positive brand
and Joe have so much positive brand Equity that there's no no one's taking
Equity that there's no no one's taking advantage of the other it's like both
advantage of the other it's like both quite high value cool Brands coming
quite high value cool Brands coming together um Nike comes in and sponsors
together um Nike comes in and sponsors some huge NFL player or whatever uh no
some huge NFL player or whatever uh no one goes oh my God I can't believe that
one goes oh my God I can't believe that you sold out to Nike but if it was I
you sold out to Nike but if it was I don't know some Russian gas company then
don't know some Russian gas company then they might they go oh my God so the
they might they go oh my God so the inherent in the deal is this sense of
inherent in the deal is this sense of alignment of value and credibility and
alignment of value and credibility and sort of cool of brand coming in uh like
sort of cool of brand coming in uh like you you got the new gym shock deal talk
you you got the new gym shock deal talk to me about
to me about that when I was in 2018 and they reach
that when I was in 2018 and they reach out to me I remember being very ecstatic
out to me I remember being very ecstatic about them reaching out to me because
about them reaching out to me because they were the brand you know I always
they were the brand you know I always wanted to be a part of them they had the
wanted to be a part of them they had the cool events the cool athletes all this
cool events the cool athletes all this stuff and I was like they reaching
stuff and I was like they reaching out to me this is really exciting and
out to me this is really exciting and then over a few years I felt like they
then over a few years I felt like they stepped away from being like the workout
stepped away from being like the workout gym brand you know like I was like a
gym brand you know like I was like a bodybuilder I like to train and it
bodybuilder I like to train and it seemed like they were straying away from
seemed like they were straying away from wanting to be a part of the gym culture
wanting to be a part of the gym culture so much and it wasn't really lining up
so much and it wasn't really lining up with me and I didn't really want to be a
with me and I didn't really want to be a part of Brands as much anymore I was
part of Brands as much anymore I was owning my own companies and all these
owning my own companies and all these things and I just I just stepped away
things and I just I just stepped away from that and I feel like as I did they
from that and I feel like as I did they were I've heard now they were going
were I've heard now they were going through the internal process of thinking
through the internal process of thinking hey we're stepping too far away from the
hey we're stepping too far away from the gym we need to lean back into the gym
gym we need to lean back into the gym more and they were like Chris is
more and they were like Chris is leaving like blah blah like it wasn't
leaving like blah blah like it wasn't just about me but then over the year and
just about me but then over the year and a half I was gone or whatever they were
a half I was gone or whatever they were like we're diving all back into the gym
like we're diving all back into the gym we want to bring the gym to the world
we want to bring the gym to the world which I think is so incredible because
which I think is so incredible because all my successes owed to the gym you
all my successes owed to the gym you know if I had stepped in a gym I
know if I had stepped in a gym I wouldn't be sitting here I wouldn't have
wouldn't be sitting here I wouldn't have met Courtney I wouldn't have my
met Courtney I wouldn't have my businesses like it's all because I
businesses like it's all because I stepped in the gym it's helped me so
stepped in the gym it's helped me so much that's us that's just a physical
much that's us that's just a physical success aside from the mental and
success aside from the mental and everything it benefited me from and I
everything it benefited me from and I think anyone stepping into the gym is
think anyone stepping into the gym is only going to make life better so I just
only going to make life better so I just love the their concept of now their
love the their concept of now their literally concept of bringing the gym to
literally concept of bringing the gym to the world not only that but I've grow
the world not only that but I've grow grown a little closer to Ben and to n
grown a little closer to Ben and to n over the years talking to them so sorry
over the years talking to them so sorry to hear that I know right but having my
to hear that I know right but having my own businesses and seeing the scale at
own businesses and seeing the scale at which they've grown theirs while
which they've grown theirs while maintaining majority ownership of it
maintaining majority ownership of it starting in Ben's Garage in the UK to
starting in Ben's Garage in the UK to the scale they are now like I can't even
the scale they are now like I can't even understand the level of professionalism
understand the level of professionalism that they have to have come from nothing
that they have to have come from nothing at his age where I'm working my ass off
at his age where I'm working my ass off with people way smarter than
with people way smarter than being in business who aren't even close
being in business who aren't even close to their level of success and they're
to their level of success and they're just crushing and I just have so much
just crushing and I just have so much respect for how they built their
respect for how they built their business the way they operate their
business the way they operate their staff behind the scenes you know I I
staff behind the scenes you know I I kept in contact with a lot of their
kept in contact with a lot of their staff just everything the way they
staff just everything the way they operate in their business is just
operate in their business is just something I respect you know the morals
something I respect you know the morals and values they uphold the athletes that
and values they uphold the athletes that they choose to bring on I think they
they choose to bring on I think they really care about the the way their
really care about the the way their athletes represent themselves the way
athletes represent themselves the way they represent the brand and it just it
they represent the brand and it just it just lined up perfectly and when they
just lined up perfectly and when they hit me back up and they're like what do
hit me back up and they're like what do you think I was like this feels perfect
you think I was like this feels perfect you know and you're a part owner now
you know and you're a part owner now yeah very small but part owner yeah big
yeah very small but part owner yeah big company very small is very good my who
company very small is very good my who was
was it I think it was like an old friend or
it I think it was like an old friend or something they like are you a equal
something they like are you a equal owner equal partner
owner equal partner in like yeah they gave me a billion
in like yeah they gave me a billion dollar they gym shark but no it's it
dollar they gym shark but no it's it it's it's good I'm I'm super pumped
it's it's good I'm I'm super pumped feedback and they made their clothes
feedback and they made their clothes better I was buying their clothes by
better I was buying their clothes by myself with my own money on the website
myself with my own money on the website and then they're like Chris are you
and then they're like Chris are you wearing dream Shir again I was like yeah
wearing dream Shir again I was like yeah this is shirt's dope and they're like
this is shirt's dope and they're like did you buy it I'm like yeah they like
did you buy it I'm like yeah they like we would have sent it to you I'm like I
we would have sent it to you I'm like I liked it they have made a big pivot
liked it they have made a big pivot which has been pretty good I don't know
which has been pretty good I don't know it's a it's an interesting time for
it's a it's an interesting time for training in sort of gym culture I think
training in sort of gym culture I think uh certainly you know Downstream from uh
uh certainly you know Downstream from uh you and and your era that we're in right
you and and your era that we're in right now CrossFit kind of was a I think a big
now CrossFit kind of was a I think a big influence on that that young uh people
influence on that that young uh people culture for a while but that really
culture for a while but that really seems to have pivoted off and now it's
seems to have pivoted off and now it's all if it's not bodybuilding it's hybrid
all if it's not bodybuilding it's hybrid training and highrock running yeah yep
training and highrock running yeah yep Nick barar and George heon man
Nick barar and George heon man those two guys have a lot to answer for
those two guys have a lot to answer for you know from fashion and and Trend and
you know from fashion and and Trend and training modality and run clubs yeah
training modality and run clubs yeah huge huge big deal now they even
huge huge big deal now they even my partners and raw they're trying to do
my partners and raw they're trying to do Iron Man and they're building we're
Iron Man and they're building we're built an insurance line under raw like
built an insurance line under raw like just cuz they're so passionate and love
just cuz they're so passionate and love it and they're like trying to convince
it and they're like trying to convince me to do an Iron Man when I'm like 35 40
me to do an Iron Man when I'm like 35 40 and retire and I'm just like you want me
and retire and I'm just like you want me to run for how long like no I'll
to run for how long like no I'll pass I might do like a crossfit style
pass I might do like a crossfit style thing in the future but no Iron Man for
thing in the future but no Iron Man for me you the perfect build for an Iron Man
me you the perfect build for an Iron Man yeah you think I right now this is
yeah you think I right now this is exactly the time when you should do it
exactly the time when you should do it yeah I don't know
yeah I don't know uh it is
uh it is uh we're going in two directions as well
uh we're going in two directions as well we spoke about this last time about the
we spoke about this last time about the it it got even worse I'm not on Tik Tok
it it got even worse I'm not on Tik Tok so I don't see this but I know the world
so I don't see this but I know the world of Psalms apparently like people that
of Psalms apparently like people that have got affiliate codes and stuff for
have got affiliate codes and stuff for uh again I only hear this third hand
uh again I only hear this third hand through you know my housemates sending
through you know my housemates sending me videos and blah blah blah but
me videos and blah blah blah but uh it is odd to me that we've got sort
uh it is odd to me that we've got sort of the leader of the sport
of the leader of the sport being unbelievably sort of emotionally
being unbelievably sort of emotionally open vulnerable talking about trying to
open vulnerable talking about trying to get as much out of as little as possible
get as much out of as little as possible pharmacologically and then this other
pharmacologically and then this other world which is affiliate deals Galore
world which is affiliate deals Galore for uh you know teenagers on performance
for uh you know teenagers on performance enhancing drugs of varying degrees of
enhancing drugs of varying degrees of toxicity and research it's very strange
toxicity and research it's very strange yeah I
yeah I haven't seen a lot of I the weird thing
haven't seen a lot of I the weird thing is I know the companies are associated
is I know the companies are associated with selling those arms but people only
with selling those arms but people only promote like peptides like healing
promote like peptides like healing peptides and stuff
peptides and stuff but I I'm not on there either to develop
but I I'm not on there either to develop into that but it's definitely a strange
into that but it's definitely a strange slippery slope I feel like for it's like
slippery slope I feel like for it's like a Gateway the Gateway peptides you know
a Gateway the Gateway peptides you know yeah I don't know um I'll be interested
yeah I don't know um I'll be interested to see sort of what gym culture does
to see sort of what gym culture does because I probably wouldn't would I have
because I probably wouldn't would I have predicted it I probably wouldn't have
predicted it I probably wouldn't have predicted you know 10 15 years ago the
predicted you know 10 15 years ago the Jeffs side ziz era stuff uh Simply
Jeffs side ziz era stuff uh Simply Shredded bodybuilding.com for
Shredded bodybuilding.com for I probably wouldn't have predicted
I probably wouldn't have predicted CrossFit coming in I certainly wouldn't
CrossFit coming in I certainly wouldn't have predicted H rocks and run clubs and
have predicted H rocks and run clubs and and and uh hybrid athlete training
and and uh hybrid athlete training there's no way that I would have seen
there's no way that I would have seen that coming back around um so I don't
that coming back around um so I don't know what I can kind of understand the
know what I can kind of understand the the jogging craze coming back cuz people
the jogging craze coming back cuz people are like it's almost like a post failed
are like it's almost like a post failed meditation app Phase that led to running
meditation app Phase that led to running working cuz like true good running is a
working cuz like true good running is a meditation being able to be with your
meditation being able to be with your breath and to be with your pace to not
breath and to be with your pace to not go too fast you know everyone every
go too fast you know everyone every running coach says you don't run fast to
running coach says you don't run fast to get faster you run slow for longer you
get faster you run slow for longer you have to match your pace it's a
have to match your pace it's a meditation is mindfulness it's keeping
meditation is mindfulness it's keeping on track restrained patience yeah and I
on track restrained patience yeah and I think I think there's something very
think I think there's something very beautiful meditative about running and
beautiful meditative about running and I'm horrible at it but I can I can kind
I'm horrible at it but I can I can kind of understand why in such a in a world
of understand why in such a in a world with so much distraction and so much
with so much distraction and so much going on why people would be drawn to
going on why people would be drawn to this moment of the day where they're out
this moment of the day where they're out in nature outside peacefully getting
in nature outside peacefully getting exercise in a meditative State yeah I
exercise in a meditative State yeah I think run clubs there's a there's one in
think run clubs there's a there's one in Austin that's fighting with the city
Austin that's fighting with the city council at the moment I mean it's
council at the moment I mean it's massive they do 500 people every
massive they do 500 people every Saturday it's huge yeah it's offensive
Saturday it's huge yeah it's offensive but uh I said to the guys I was like if
but uh I said to the guys I was like if if they don't allow you to keep doing
if they don't allow you to keep doing this I would go complete scorched Earth
this I would go complete scorched Earth with Austin Council I'm aware that you
with Austin Council I'm aware that you don't want to burn your Bridges but
don't want to burn your Bridges but everybody's worried about young people's
everybody's worried about young people's mental health about isolation spending
mental health about isolation spending too much time in technology obesity
too much time in technology obesity rates blood glucose diabetes all this
rates blood glucose diabetes all this stuff you're offering a solution to all
stuff you're offering a solution to all of the dating like all of these things
of the dating like all of these things are fixed in one form or another with
are fixed in one form or another with some kind of group fitness activity
some kind of group fitness activity whether it's Barry's Boot Camp or
whether it's Barry's Boot Camp or CrossFit or gym or run clubs or high
CrossFit or gym or run clubs or high rocks or hybrid whatever this is the
rocks or hybrid whatever this is the solution to it and in the same sentence
solution to it and in the same sentence they're saying we're really worried
they're saying we're really worried about young people's mental health and
about young people's mental health and physical state and also one guy doesn't
physical state and also one guy doesn't like the fact that he can't look out of
like the fact that he can't look out of his front garden for 30 minutes every
his front garden for 30 minutes every Saturday without seeing young people
Saturday without seeing young people looking sweaty running past yeah I don't
looking sweaty running past yeah I don't know it it just seems
know it it just seems like it's disappointing to sort of see
like it's disappointing to sort of see that it's not being facilitated or or
that it's not being facilitated or or encouraged in that way it's like they're
encouraged in that way it's like they're not graffitiing things it's not a it's
not graffitiing things it's not a it's not a one of those low rider drive by
not a one of those low rider drive by things where everyone's making loads of
things where everyone's making loads of Music at 1 in the morning out of super
Music at 1 in the morning out of super loud subwoofers and stuff it's just
loud subwoofers and stuff it's just young people running yeah it's
young people running yeah it's disappointing but it's not surprising
disappointing but it's not surprising yeah yeah it's the same you've been here
yeah yeah it's the same you've been here before is there anything in your
before is there anything in your experience
experience that I don't know how much you've gone
that I don't know how much you've gone into the science you might just be
into the science you might just be someone who happens to be super
someone who happens to be super effective at doing the thing as opposed
effective at doing the thing as opposed to knowing the thing uh are there any
to knowing the thing uh are there any areas of training or diet or Fitness
areas of training or diet or Fitness that seem to be
that seem to be surprisingly uh not what the science or
surprisingly uh not what the science or evidence or typical advice would agree
evidence or typical advice would agree with rep ranges periodization like
with rep ranges periodization like overload any of that stuff is there any
overload any of that stuff is there any areas where you think huh like this ends
areas where you think huh like this ends up really working for me but I don't
up really working for me but I don't think most people would think that it
think most people would think that it would
work it's hard to say when something's very like nuanced I have been diving a
very like nuanced I have been diving a little bit more into proper like science
little bit more into proper like science behind it I've had this guy named Justin
behind it I've had this guy named Justin King helping me with my training and
King helping me with my training and he's very science-based and very like
he's very science-based and very like evidence-backed and and every time you
evidence-backed and and every time you bring that up in bodybuilding you go
bring that up in bodybuilding you go back and forth between thinking too much
back and forth between thinking too much and being able to work hard enough and
and being able to work hard enough and back and forth and what I've noticed
back and forth and what I've noticed specifically in especially on tired days
specifically in especially on tired days deep in prep or whatever it might be if
deep in prep or whatever it might be if you're so focused on getting absolute
you're so focused on getting absolute deep stretch with a 4-second negative
deep stretch with a 4-second negative proper perfect execution all these
proper perfect execution all these things 100% or mentally that's fatiguing
things 100% or mentally that's fatiguing and to do that for let's say optimized
and to do that for let's say optimized periodization you're going to do a
periodization you're going to do a four-week program of 18 to 20 reps and
four-week program of 18 to 20 reps and then you're going to bring it down to 6
then you're going to bring it down to 6 to 10 once your volume's high and you're
to 10 once your volume's high and you're building your strength with X Y and Z if
building your strength with X Y and Z if you can't get there mentally because
you can't get there mentally because mentally you're too fatigued to go to
mentally you're too fatigued to go to failure on that set and you're like
failure on that set and you're like thinking too much like you just stop
thinking too much like you just stop versus just like turning your brain off
versus just like turning your brain off and just going Full Tilt to failure
and just going Full Tilt to failure you're not getting as much benefit but
you're not getting as much benefit but are you failing because your muscles are
are you failing because your muscles are failing or because mentally you're you
failing or because mentally you're you can't keep thinking about the
can't keep thinking about the 4sec negative for long enough you know
4sec negative for long enough you know yeah so it it seems obvious but if
yeah so it it seems obvious but if you're holding yourself back by thinking
you're holding yourself back by thinking too much then you're not doing good
too much then you're not doing good enough and I think you know you try and
enough and I think you know you try and reinvent the wheel a million times and
reinvent the wheel a million times and it just doesn't work so you you got to
it just doesn't work so you you got to find the balance within it every's a
find the balance within it every's a little different that's cool that uh you
little different that's cool that uh you can try and be as optimal as possible
can try and be as optimal as possible but there's a time for just sort of pure
but there's a time for just sort of pure aggression yeah and I think what there
aggression yeah and I think what there was I you might even know it and you
was I you might even know it and you probably figure it out better than me
probably figure it out better than me but there was a study that took people
but there was a study that took people and they were testing how high of a step
and they were testing how high of a step they thought they could step over and
they thought they could step over and and it was it was just like guess how
and it was it was just like guess how high of a step you can step over and
high of a step you can step over and they had to guess and they put one group
they had to guess and they put one group through a bunch of like physical and
through a bunch of like physical and mental fatigue and one with just a fresh
mental fatigue and one with just a fresh group and the group with mental and
group and the group with mental and physical fatigue severely underestimated
physical fatigue severely underestimated what they could step over like oh I
what they could step over like oh I could only do like two feet and then
could only do like two feet and then they got four feet or and they were just
they got four feet or and they were just underestimating what they were capable
underestimating what they were capable of and I mean that's literally
of and I mean that's literally bodybuilding prep you know like the day
bodybuilding prep you know like the day where i'm like I can't pick that thing
where i'm like I can't pick that thing off the floor I'm like this can is too
off the floor I'm like this can is too heavy like can you throw this out for me
heavy like can you throw this out for me I'm tired I'm moving in slow motion but
I'm tired I'm moving in slow motion but I need to go to the gym and dumbbell
I need to go to the gym and dumbbell press 150 lb dumbbells like how does
press 150 lb dumbbells like how does that translate my mind doesn't think I
that translate my mind doesn't think I can do it I'm severely underestimating
can do it I'm severely underestimating my strength that I can't pick this can
my strength that I can't pick this can up but when I get to the gym I need to
up but when I get to the gym I need to overpower my mind and just do it I need
overpower my mind and just do it I need to understand that I still have the
to understand that I still have the muscle I still have the strength I'm
muscle I still have the strength I'm just being a lazy little right now
just being a lazy little right now and I need to pick up that weight and do
and I need to pick up that weight and do it and overpower it and sometimes when
it and overpower it and sometimes when you're getting in there and you're
you're getting in there and you're overthinking and all these things come
overthinking and all these things come in too much of like have to do this this
in too much of like have to do this this and this I have to do a four second
and this I have to do a four second netive oh my God that's going to be so
netive oh my God that's going to be so hard I should drop the weight then like
hard I should drop the weight then like no just get in there know what
no just get in there know what you can do bust your ass and get out of
you can do bust your ass and get out of there sometimes overthinking it holds
there sometimes overthinking it holds you back there's
you back there's a like beautiful stupidity that I see
a like beautiful stupidity that I see with a lot of athletes y you know that
with a lot of athletes y you know that that there are certainly very smart
that there are certainly very smart people that have been super successful
people that have been super successful in their sport but there's also a kind
in their sport but there's also a kind of cultivated idiocy that they're a you
of cultivated idiocy that they're a you know they're like a a sort of channel
know they're like a a sort of channel that in you know the midwit meme do you
that in you know the midwit meme do you know what that is no so it's a bell
know what that is no so it's a bell curve and on the left is this guy that
curve and on the left is this guy that looks like a neander throl he's got a
looks like a neander throl he's got a brow like mine and then the guy in the
brow like mine and then the guy in the middle is this sort of raging um midwit
middle is this sort of raging um midwit that's trying to over optimize things
that's trying to over optimize things and failing and the guy on the right is
and failing and the guy on the right is a sage who's got a HUD up he looks like
a sage who's got a HUD up he looks like a Jedi and the joke is that the guy on
a Jedi and the joke is that the guy on the left and the guy on the right always
the left and the guy on the right always agree that the master and the idiot
agree that the master and the idiot always end up arriving at the same thing
always end up arriving at the same thing so it's like uh eat protein lift weights
so it's like uh eat protein lift weights eat protein lift weights I must ensure
eat protein lift weights I must ensure that my pre-digested way is consumed 30
that my pre-digested way is consumed 30 it's intra workout with the optim you
it's intra workout with the optim you know it's just eat protein left weights
know it's just eat protein left weights is that and it's the this sort of uh
is that and it's the this sort of uh yeah cultivated idiocy or whatever where
yeah cultivated idiocy or whatever where people just I am not going to overthink
people just I am not going to overthink this coach said go in there and LIF to
this coach said go in there and LIF to failure I'm just going to go in and left
failure I'm just going to go in and left to failure just going to go do it yeah
to failure just going to go do it yeah yeah and it comes down to the experience
yeah and it comes down to the experience of trusting your inition you know I know
of trusting your inition you know I know what my body needs I've been here for 10
what my body needs I've been here for 10 years I can just feel it I pick up a
years I can just feel it I pick up a weight I feel a certain way in the day I
weight I feel a certain way in the day I know what I need to do and you just got
know what I need to do and you just got to trust your instincts and do it
to trust your instincts and do it overthink it sometimes I heard you say
overthink it sometimes I heard you say there's only one thing I dread not to be
there's only one thing I dread not to be worthy of my
worthy of my sufferings what's
sufferings what's that of me trying to be very
philosophical there's a few meanings behind that I
think it's how you handle your sufferings you know when you're when
sufferings you know when you're when you're going through something really
you're going through something really challenging how do you show up within it
challenging how do you show up within it do you choose to become a victim of
do you choose to become a victim of complaining and misery and shitty or do
complaining and misery and shitty or do you find meaning in how you show up in
you find meaning in how you show up in the suffering you know and this isn't
the suffering you know and this isn't really my line of thinking this is like
really my line of thinking this is like man search for meaning Victor Frankle
man search for meaning Victor Frankle kind of talked about this and I read
kind of talked about this and I read that book last year probably when I said
that book last year probably when I said this and I reflected a lot about this
this and I reflected a lot about this honestly when Courtney was going through
honestly when Courtney was going through labor and she had had the child and I
labor and she had had the child and I was like holy like you were going
was like holy like you were going through this absolutely like like I'm
through this absolutely like like I'm I've never experienced that much pain in
I've never experienced that much pain in my entire life and she just remained
my entire life and she just remained calm controlled her breathing did what
calm controlled her breathing did what she needed to do change positions when
she needed to do change positions when they told her she needed to do within
they told her she needed to do within the tub with on the bed with doing all
the tub with on the bed with doing all these things and was just dialed she was
these things and was just dialed she was locked in lock in bro lock lock in and I
locked in lock in bro lock lock in and I I just was like you are suffering but
I just was like you are suffering but you were choosing to find meaning in how
you were choosing to find meaning in how you handle the suffering and that makes
you handle the suffering and that makes you so worthy of those sufferings and
you so worthy of those sufferings and it's such a beautiful thing to
it's such a beautiful thing to experience and you know when life throws
experience and you know when life throws some at us you're having this baby
some at us you're having this baby you're not choosing not to have this
you're not choosing not to have this baby you're going to go through this
baby you're going to go through this pain you're going to go through this
pain you're going to go through this suffering how are you going to choose to
suffering how are you going to choose to show up like I was talking about before
show up like I was talking about before there are things out of your control
there are things out of your control what's in your control how can you take
what's in your control how can you take that power back into your own hands and
that power back into your own hands and what are you going to take from it what
what are you going to take from it what kind of meaning can you find from taking
kind of meaning can you find from taking power out of what you feel powerless in
power out of what you feel powerless in I heard this rumor from a friend that
I heard this rumor from a friend that after women give birth they have a a
after women give birth they have a a flood of hormones that allows them to um
flood of hormones that allows them to um color the memory of it so that it's less
color the memory of it so that it's less painful in retrospect is this true it's
painful in retrospect is this true it's crazy mother like this is all the
crazy mother like this is all the nurses it it doesn't happen immediately
nurses it it doesn't happen immediately but all the nurses were like ah give it
but all the nurses were like ah give it a few weeks and you'll forget about
a few weeks and you'll forget about you're going to want to do it again and
you're going to want to do it again and then court and Courtney was like after
then court and Courtney was like after she's like she's like why the did I
she's like she's like why the did I do that naturally she like why didn't
do that naturally she like why didn't you take the epidural like that sucked
you take the epidural like that sucked and then like a month or two ago she was
and then like a month or two ago she was like it was that bad I think I'll do it
like it was that bad I think I'll do it again like that and I'm like are you
again like that and I'm like are you that that bad that bad for me
that that bad that bad for me just to be in the room beside you and
just to be in the room beside you and her mom was with that too she's like we
her mom was with that too she's like we have to go through that again cor's like
have to go through that again cor's like it's fine I'm like what the but
it's fine I'm like what the but it's got to be true I mean if you were
it's got to be true I mean if you were to go through that much pain you never
to go through that much pain you never want to have a kid again it must be
want to have a kid again it must be something that's
something that's like just whatever the science is it
like just whatever the science is it makes just completely foret it was uh
makes just completely foret it was uh Andrew Schultz he talks about it on his
Andrew Schultz he talks about it on his new live show and uh he he the same
new live show and uh he he the same thing you know he's there stood on the
thing you know he's there stood on the sideline just being like hopefully
sideline just being like hopefully useless yeah uh you know the cheerleader
useless yeah uh you know the cheerleader I don't think he even got to pinch the
I don't think he even got to pinch the traps and uh it's like you got this
traps and uh it's like you got this honey good job and then she gets this
honey good job and then she gets this flood of
flood of whatever the Men in Black flashy
whatever the Men in Black flashy thing like
thing like neurochemically and it fixes her and
neurochemically and it fixes her and changes the way that she she feels about
changes the way that she she feels about it in r R and he's like I remember but I
it in r R and he's like I remember but I what about me where's my flood of
what about me where's my flood of hormones because I saw the person I love
hormones because I saw the person I love the most in the entire world go through
the most in the entire world go through all of this and now I'm being
all of this and now I'm being gaslit to say that I'm making it out to
gaslit to say that I'm making it out to be worse than it was it's like only one
be worse than it was it's like only one of us has got a rational memory of what
of us has got a rational memory of what actually occurred during this situation
actually occurred during this situation that's hilarious I've never heard about
that's hilarious I've never heard about it before and now apparently it's not a
it before and now apparently it's not a I hadn't heard about it either but the
I hadn't heard about it either but the nurses weren't saying it was science
nurses weren't saying it was science they were just saying like you're going
they were just saying like you're going to
to wor it's just going to happen I was like
wor it's just going to happen I was like damn yeah intense women's Minds
damn yeah intense women's Minds retconning their own experience of
retconning their own experience of childbirth is wild I mean we wouldn't
childbirth is wild I mean we wouldn't probably have enough people on The
probably have enough people on The Thirst if they didn't yeah Chris
Thirst if they didn't yeah Chris Bumstead ladies and gentlemen dude I
Bumstead ladies and gentlemen dude I appreciate you so much I know you're in
appreciate you so much I know you're in the middle of prep so I'm really
the middle of prep so I'm really grateful that we got to have another sit
grateful that we got to have another sit down this year me too I said I wasn't
down this year me too I said I wasn't going to do any more podcast but here we
going to do any more podcast but here we are two weeks stayed awake so it was an
are two weeks stayed awake so it was an honor I appreciate you having me back I
honor I appreciate you having me back I appreciate you too man thank you thank
appreciate you too man thank you thank you very much for tuning in if you
you very much for tuning in if you enjoyed that episode you will love my
enjoyed that episode you will love my full length conversation with the one
full length conversation with the one and only Dr Mike Israel right
and only Dr Mike Israel right here go on
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