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Why Intelligent Men Scare Most Women | Kierkegaard
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Have you ever wondered why your depth
unsettles people? Why the more you
think, the less you belong? Why your
silence, your questions, your refusal to
play along with shallow expectations
makes others, especially women,
withdraw, criticize, or misread you.
Saurin Kagart once wrote, "People demand
freedom of speech as a compensation for
the freedom of thought which they seldom
use, but you you think." And that is
precisely the problem. You are not
dangerous because you are aggressive.
You are dangerous because you refuse to
be predictable. And in a world where
predictability is confused with safety,
the intelligent man becomes a threat
simply by existing. Modern relationships
are built on comfort, not truth. But the
intelligent man, he is allergic to
illusions. He peels back masks. He
questions why love feels transactional.
He notices the performance in people's
eyes, the dissonance between what is
said and what is felt. And Kagard warned
us the crowd is untruth. When a man
refuses to be swallowed by the crowd,
when he chooses his own path of meaning,
solitude, and reflection, he breaks the
entire framework that society depends on
to keep people passive and emotionally
compliant. Women don't fear intelligent
men because they're smart. They fear
intelligent men because they cannot
contain them. Because the intelligent
man doesn't rely on flattery to be
desired. He doesn't need validation to
feel masculine. He doesn't play the
puppet just to be chosen. He doesn't
chase because he sees that most chases
are rooted in illusion, not love. And
when he does love, he loves with
terrifying clarity, not for comfort, but
for revelation. That kind of presence,
sharp, discerning, existentially honest,
is rare. And what is rare is often
rejected before it is respected. Kagard
wrote extensively about the concept of
despair but not as most people
understand it. He called it the sickness
unto death. A man being unaware that he
is estranged from his true self. And
that is what modern culture fears most
in men. That they might wake up from the
performance that they might stop being
charming and start being conscious
because a conscious man cannot be
seduced by applause or emotional chaos.
A conscious man is no longer driven by
the need to be liked. And when a man
stops needing to be liked, he becomes
free. And when a man becomes free, he
becomes dangerous. Ask yourself, why do
you feel misunderstood in every room you
enter? Why do you sense people are
uneasy around your silence? Is because
most people, especially in this
attention-driven world, derive their
identity from being seen. But the
intelligent man, he derives his identity
from seeing. And seeing deeply makes
others uncomfortable, especially when
they are trying to hide. Kagard said
life can only be understood backwards
but it must be lived forwards and
intelligent men live forward but they
are always watching dissecting
understanding the structure of
everything power emotion seduction fear.
So what happens when a man is no longer
seduced by the surface? When he stops
being enchanted by the games he becomes
unplayable not because he's cold but
because he's whole. And that wholeness
threatens the economy of modern dating
where confusion is currency and
emotional unpredictability is mistaken
for passion. Kagard knew this. He walked
away from the only woman he ever loved.
Not because he didn't care, but because
he did. Because he knew that to live
authentically meant to reject the role
society assigns, even if it cost him
everything. Men, listen closely. The
more intelligent you become, the more
isolated you may feel. That is not
failure. It is the price of awakening.
You scare people not because you are
unkind, but because you are
unconditioned. And a man who cannot be
conditioned cannot be controlled. And
that is the greatest threat to any
system built on manipulation, including
romantic ones. Most people are not
looking for love. They are looking for
usefulness. They want you to serve a
role. Provider, performer, protector,
puppet. But the intelligent man steps
outside of those frames. And when he
does, he becomes invisible to the ones
still inside them. Kirkagard called this
the leap of faith. To leave the security
of roles, systems, and superficial
expectations and walk alone. To love
truth more than comfort. To choose
despair if despair is honest over bliss
that is fake. And that leap will cost
you. It will strip you. But it will also
awaken you. Because once you see, once
you truly see, you can never unsee. And
your intelligence, if rooted in
self-awareness and not just information,
will turn you from a man who seeks
validation into a man who seeks God or
meaning or peace. And that is terrifying
to others and sometimes even to yourself
because what comes next is not for the
faint-hearted. Kaga once said, "To dare
is to lose one's footing momentarily.
Not to dare is to lose oneself. And most
men have already lost themselves, not
because they lack intelligence, but
because they've been trained to
apologize for it. You were told to
soften your words, to dim your insights,
to pretend you don't see what's missing,
smile when something's fake, laugh when
something's shallow, stay silent when
something's wrong. You were taught to be
agreeable in order to be accepted. But
acceptance that demands the death of
your essence is not acceptance. It's
assimilation. And the intelligent man
who refuses to assimilate becomes a
threat, not just to women, but to
everyone who profits from his silence.
You scare them not because you are
aggressive, but because you are precise.
Because when you speak, your words carry
weight. Because when you look at
someone, they feel seen, not flattered,
seen. And being seen is unbearable for
those still wearing masks. Most people
don't want connection. They want
comfort. They want reinforcement of
their illusions. But the intelligent man
dismantles illusion wherever he goes,
even in love. Especially in love.
Because love for him is not a game. It's
not a power play. It's not a roleplay of
unmet childhood wounds. For the
intelligent man, love is truth. And
truth doesn't always feel good. It feels
real. That's why you feel resistance.
That's why you're met with confusion,
even hostility. Because your presence
threatens the system that rewards
performance. You don't beg. You don't
chase. You don't explain yourself 10
times just to be understood. You walk
away not because you're angry, but
because your soul refuses to be
auctioned off to the highest bidder of
convenience. And that kind of man, calm,
grounded, inwardly sovereign, is more
terrifying than any tyrant because he is
not reacting. He is choosing. and
choosing authentically, consciously is
the greatest rebellion left in this
world. You want to know why intelligent
men scare modern women? It's not because
women are shallow. It's not because
they're malicious. It's because we live
in a world where most people have been
conditioned to expect performance, not
presence. And the intelligent man cannot
fake presence. He brings himself fully
or not at all. And most are not ready
for that kind of fullness. It's too raw,
too unfiltered, too demanding of
self-awareness. And most people, men and
women alike, would rather stay
comfortably asleep than wake up to their
own contradictions. Kagard's life was a
testament to this paradox. He loved
Regina Olsen. But he left her, not
because he didn't feel, but because he
felt too much. He knew his path was
solitary. That his inner world was too
wide, too turbulent to anchor to anyone
else. That's the paradox of the
intelligent man. He longs for intimacy,
but not at the cost of his integrity. He
desires connection but refuses to
perform for it. He is willing to walk
alone rather than dilute his essence
just to be desired. That's not
arrogance. That's alignment. And it
terrifies people because deep down
everyone wants to be chosen. But the
intelligent man. He wants to be met. And
being met requires the other to also be
whole, to have gone through their own
fires, to have unlearned their own lies.
And most aren't ready for that. So they
call you distant, difficult, cold. But
the truth is, you're not cold. You're
clear. You don't hate women. You just
don't worship illusions. You don't hate
love. You just refuse to call dependency
love. You've seen too much to play
blind. And that's what scares them.
You're not manipulable. You're not
predictable. You're not waiting to be
told who to be. Kagard said, "The most
common form of despair is not being who
you are. But you, if you're listening
this far, you are different. You want to
know who you are beyond the noise,
beyond the roles, beyond the craving for
approval. And that journey will cost you
popularity. It will cost you comfort. It
may even cost you love. But what you
gain in return is far more powerful.
Selfhood, sovereignty, sanity. You will
stop searching for someone to complete
you because you will no longer feel
incomplete. And that, brother, is when
you become truly dangerous. Not to
others, but to the system that thrives
on broken men. Because the deeper we go,
the more everything starts to unravel.
Especially the lies you've been told
about what it means to be a man in the
eyes of the world. Kirkagard was not
interested in success as society defines
it. He wrote, "The greatest hazard of
all, losing oneself, can occur very
quietly in the world, as if it were
nothing at all." And that is precisely
what's happened to so many men. Quiet
disappearance. Not physical, not loud,
but spiritual. Men have lost themselves
trying to be palatable, trying to be
charming, trying to be whatever the room
wanted until one day they look in the
mirror and see a stranger. But the
intelligent man, he cannot pretend for
long. The tension builds inside him. He
starts to notice that what others call
confidence is often arrogance. That what
they call love is often dependency. That
what they call chemistry is often
trauma. Speaking its native tongue, he
starts to see. And once you see, you
suffer. That's the price of awareness.
You suffer because you no longer fit.
You suffer because your questions ruin
parties. Because your clarity offends
comfort. Because your need for truth
repels those addicted to performance.
And this is where the Kagardian paradox
sets in. You either betray yourself to
be accepted by the world or you betray
the world to remain true to yourself.
Most men take the first path. It's
easier. It's praised. But it's a slow
death. The intelligent man, if he is
brave, chooses the second. And in that
choice, he begins to live. Not
comfortably, not safely, but honestly.
And this honesty manifests in
everything. How he speaks, how he dates,
how he works, how he worships, how he
walks away. And the world punishes that
kind of man. Because a man who cannot be
seduced by the crowd becomes a mirror to
everyone still trapped in it. Let's talk
about relationships. Why does a woman
feel uneasy around the intelligent man?
Not because he doesn't care, but because
he cares differently. He doesn't chase.
He observes. He doesn't flatter. He
listens. He doesn't respond to every
emotional cue like a trained dog. He
chooses his reactions with surgical
precision. This makes him mysterious.
And mystery terrifies people who need
constant emotional reinforcement. The
intelligent man is not absent. He's
selectively present. And this
selectivity feels like rejection to
those used to being woripped without
effort. But he doesn't worship. He
discerns. Because intelligence when
combined with emotional clarity becomes
spiritual x-ray vision. You see through
smiles, through games, through flattery.
And that kind of sight unnerves anyone
still hiding. Kirkagard spoke often
about the individual's responsibility to
become a self. Not a social role, not a
performer, not a mirror of other
people's expectations, but a self. And
becoming a self requires silence,
stillness, reflection, solitude. Four
things modern culture is allergic to.
Because a man who sits in silence too
long might stop consuming, might stop
conforming, might stop apologizing for
who he is. And most terrifyingly, he
might stop chasing what was never worthy
of him in the first place. You want to
terrify people? Walk into a room and
don't seek attention. Just observe.
Don't overexlain. Speak with precision.
Set boundaries without raising your
voice. Be kind without being compliant.
Be romantic without being dependent.
Watch what happens. Watch how people
begin to adjust themselves in your
presence. Because deep down, everyone
senses when a man is rooted. And most
don't know what to do with him,
especially when he's not performing.
That's the secret of intelligent men.
They don't perform, and that's what
makes them dangerous. Kagard wrote,
"Once you label me, you negate me." The
intelligent man cannot be labeled. Is he
cold? No, he's composed. Is he arrogant?
No, he's self-respecting. Is he aloof?
No, he's discerning. But labels are
easier than reflection. So the world
will reduce him to anything that makes
his clarity feel less threatening. But
don't let that shake you. Let it sharpen
you. Let it deepen your solitude. Let it
fortify your path. You were not built to
be palatable. You were not made to beg.
You were not designed to be everyone's
comfort zone. You were made to become a
man in the Kagardian sense, aware,
faithful to truth, willing to walk alone
into the storm. If that's what it takes
to keep your soul intact, then let's
walk further into the storm. Kagard
warned us. The crowd is untruth. And
yet, most men still look to the crowd
for validation. They measure their worth
by how many hearts they can win, how
many smiles they can spark, how many
people clap when they speak. But that
applause is a trap because it teaches
you to shape yourself according to what
pleases others, not according to what is
real within you. And here's the truth
you weren't told. The more intelligent
you become, the less applause you will
receive. Because you are no longer
playing for the crowd. You are playing
for your soul. And most people don't
clap for that. They stare, they
question, they shrink. You scare people
not because you are cruel, but because
you are clear. In a culture built on
noise, your silence is disturbing. In a
world built on stimulation, your
stillness is unsettling. In an age of
constant availability, your refusal to
be emotionally summoned on command feels
like rebellion. And it is. It's the
rebellion of a man who has reclaimed his
mind, his heart, and his attention. You
don't owe anyone a reaction. You don't
owe anyone your confusion. The
intelligent man does not explain himself
to those committed to misunderstanding
him. Have you noticed how quickly people
grow uneasy when you stop oversharing?
When you start protecting your thoughts?
When your eyes say more than your words?
This is the energy of a man who is no
longer trying to be understood by
everyone. And that kind of man terrifies
not just women, but society at large.
Because society thrives when men are
distracted, when they're addicted, when
they're chasing. But the intelligent man
doesn't chase, he chooses. And this
choosing, the calm deliberation of a man
who knows his worth, makes him
unreadable, unplayable, untouchable.
Kagar called it the single individual.
The man who has separated himself from
the crowd, not in arrogance, but in
authenticity. He walks alone, but not
because he's antisocial. He walks alone
because most paths lead to noise. And he
wants truth. He wants depth. He wants
God in whatever form that takes for him.
And here's the paradox. The more rooted
you become in yourself, the more people
will try to shake you. Not because you
are wrong, but because you remind them
of what they abandoned, their depth,
their integrity, their silence. In love,
this is even more profound. The
intelligent man doesn't romanticize
chaos. He doesn't confuse
unpredictability with passion. He is
drawn to alignment, not excitement. He
wants peace, not performance. And when
he speaks of love, he speaks of
something holy, not hormonal. That kind
of desire, that sacred, quiet,
unwavering presence can be terrifying to
a woman who has only known love as
drama. It can feel cold, but it's not.
It's steady. And steadiness is
unfamiliar to people who are still
addicted to the highs and lows of
emotional instability. But you must not
shrink. You must not soften your clarity
to be more acceptable. You must not hide
your intelligence to seem less
intimidating. Your role is not to fit
into the world's confusion is to remain
anchored in truth. And sometimes truth
walks alone. Kagard lived in that
solitude. He was mocked, ridiculed,
misunderstood. He walked away from the
love of his life, not because he didn't
feel, but because he felt too much.
because he knew that his life's mission,
his truth, could not coexist with the
roles others wanted him to play. And
that's your challenge now. Will you keep
playing roles for comfort? Or will you
finally become the man you were meant to
be? Even if it means being feared,
rejected, or alone. The intelligent man
doesn't seek to be liked. He seeks to be
aligned. And when you become aligned,
truly aligned, the right people will
recognize you. Not because you impressed
them, but because your silence echoed
something they forgot they had within
themselves. So stop overexplaining. Stop
apologizing for your solitude. Stop
doubting the strength of your vision.
You are not too much. You are too real
for a world that rewards imitation. And
the more real you become, the lonier it
may feel. But the more powerful you will
be. Because that power will not come
from charm or wealth or image. It will
come from your refusal to abandon
yourself. You've come this far. So let's
not stop now because what's on the other
side of this path, the one paved with
clarity, solitude, and selfmastery is
not just strength. It's freedom. And
Kagard understood something few people
ever grasp. That the price of true
freedom is everything that once made you
feel accepted. He wrote, "Anxiety is the
dizziness of freedom." Because once a
man stops outsourcing his identity, once
he no longer seeks permission to be
himself, he is hit with the terrifying
realization that there is no map, no
approval, no one to tell him he's on the
right track. There is only him and God
and the abyss between them. That's why
intelligent men scare the world. Because
they walk into the abyss with open eyes.
They don't hide behind distractions.
They don't numb themselves with
entertainment. They don't flood their
schedule just to avoid silence. They sit
in it. They endure the unease. They feel
the questions most men never dare to
ask. Who am I without my work? Without
my validation, without someone clinging
to me for emotional stability? Most men
run from those questions. The
intelligent man makes a home in them.
And when he meets a woman, he doesn't
seek to possess her. He doesn't want to
fix her, control her, or impress her. He
wants to see her. And that kind of
seeing is rare. It pierces through
vanity, through ego, through
performance. It demands presence. It
demands truth. And truth is a fire that
most people fear because it doesn't
flatter. It doesn't negotiate. It simply
is. And the intelligent man, when
grounded in that truth, becomes a force
that cannot be swayed by charm, nor
broken by rejection. He is not cold. He
is not harsh. He is simply whole. You
want to understand why you're avoided,
misread, even villainized. It's because
you stop chasing shadows. And once you
stop chasing shadows, those who live in
them start to feel exposed. Your
presence becomes a judgment. Even when
you say nothing, your standards become
an offense. Even when you don't impose
them, you have become a mirror. And most
people hate mirrors that don't flatter.
But your job is not to flatter. Your job
is to reflect what's real first within
yourself, then in the world around you.
Kagard spoke of the knight of faith. A
man who lives inwardly before he lives
outwardly. A man who does not depend on
logic alone nor emotion alone, but on a
deeper calling that cannot be explained
to the masses. The knight of faith walks
the earth unnoticed by most. He's not
loud. He's not decorated in titles. He
may not even look successful by the
world's standards, but inside him burns
a light that cannot be dimmed by trend,
by rejection, or by loneliness. And
that's the man you're becoming. The one
who is no longer seeking an identity,
but embodying one. Let's be honest, it's
not easy. You'll lose people. You'll
question yourself. You'll face long
nights where the silence is so loud it
feels like a scream. You'll wonder if
something's wrong with you because you
can no longer enjoy the things that used
to thrill you. You'll walk away from
relationships that once felt like home,
only to realize they were houses built
on sand. But you'll also feel something
new, a strange, unfamiliar peace, a
stillness in your soul that doesn't come
from being liked, but from being right
with yourself. and that peace, that
alignment, that deep resonant integrity
that is worth everything you've lost. So
no, you are not too quiet. You are not
too deep. You are not too intense. You
are not too much. You are becoming
whole. And in a fragmented world,
wholeness is terrifying because it
cannot be manipulated. It cannot be
seduced. It cannot be purchased. And
above all, it cannot be ignored. You are
not broken. You are becoming. And what
you are becoming is the very thing the
world is desperate for and terrified of
at the same time. A man who cannot be
moved by lies. Not even the ones he used
to tell himself. Kagard believed that
every man in the depths of his soul is
called to become something more than
what the world expects. Not more in
status, not more in fame, but more in
truth. What I really lack is to be clear
in my mind what I am to do, not what I
must know. That's the essence of your
transformation. Is not about knowing
more. It's about becoming more. Becoming
what? A man who is no longer defined by
reactions, expectations, or fleeting
desire, but by the eternal commitment to
becoming whole, no matter the cost. By
now, you've probably felt the weight of
this path, the ache of solitude, the
sting of being misunderstood, the
exhaustion of being the only one in the
room who sees clearly while others play
blind. But let me tell you something
most won't. That pain you feel is
sacred. That loneliness. It's not your
enemy. It's your proving ground. Because
once you've learned to walk alone, to
sit in silence, to observe without
reacting, to love without losing
yourself, then and only then do you
become truly untouchable. The
intelligent man who embodies Kirkagard's
truths does not fear rejection because
he no longer lives in pursuit of being
chosen. He has chosen himself and that
changes everything. It changes how you
love. You stop looking for someone to
fill your silence and start seeking
someone who respects it. It changes how
you work. You stop performing for a
paycheck and start building something
that reflects your essence. It changes
how you exist because you're no longer
driven by escape, but by alignment. And
this alignment makes you rare. Not
because you've become better than anyone
else, but because you've dared to face
what most men never do, the unbearable
light of your own potential.
Most people run from it. They settle.
They shrink. They conform. But you, you
listened to the whisper. You followed it
through the fog, through the heartbreak,
through the ridicule. And now here you
are, not finished, not flawless, but
free. And that freedom, quiet as it may
seem, speaks louder than any performance
ever could. You've learned to walk away
when something insults your soul. You've
learned to say no, not to hurt, but to
protect. You've learned that peace is
not found in the presence of others, but
in the absence of self- betrayal. You've
learned that love is not a transaction,
it's a mirror. And that the woman worthy
of your depth is not the one who
flatters your surface, but the one who
sees your silence and chooses to stay
anyway. And maybe she'll come, maybe she
won't. But either way, you will not wait
in desperation. You will walk your path
alone if you must. Whole either way.
Kagard lived a life of solitude, but not
sorrow. His pain became scripture. His
questions became fire. And his writings,
they became the map for men like you.
Men who feel too much, think too deeply,
and refuse to perform for approval. So
if you are misunderstood, good. If you
are feared, good. If you are called
cold, arrogant, distant, good. It means
you've stopped being digestible, it
means you've stopped living on the
surface, it means you've started to
matter. Because at the end of the day,
the world doesn't need more nice guys.
It doesn't need more charm. It doesn't
need more puppets. It needs men, real
men who know who they are, who walk in
silence, who love without losing
themselves, who speak when it counts and
disappear when it doesn't. men who are
so rooted in their truth that nothing,
not even love, can make them abandon it.
And if you are that man or becoming that
man, then know this. You will not be for
everyone, but you will be unforgettable
to the few who see you. You will not be
woripped by the crowd, but you will be
respected by the rare. And most
importantly, you will respect yourself
in the quiet moments, in the hard
choices, in the long nights when you
choose peace over performance, truth
over approval, solitude over shallow
comfort. If this message spoke to your
soul, don't let it end here. Like this
video. Share it with someone who's still
in the fog. Subscribe for more truths
they'll never teach you in school.
And if you want to support this mission,
if you believe men need to hear this now
more than ever, click the link in the
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