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Deutsche Bundesländer in einer Nussschale (3)
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The first federal state in today's
episode of the four-part video series
about German federal states is the federal
state in which you most
likely live. If
anything exciting has happened in our
beloved Germany,
it has happened in this federal state.
A lot of people. A huge
grey concrete desert, full of abandoned
places, a gloomy atmosphere and so many
big cities in such a small space that you
never really know when one city
ends and the next one
begins. What other place could it
be than good old North Rhine-Westphalia.
North Rhine-Westphalia.
I piss on the mike and the music
sounds fatter than 90% of that son of a [ __ ].
Rapper 0,9 S,9 S0,9 I0,9
and people always say that when you're
mentally at your worst,
you should just go outside and
take a relaxing walk in the fresh air. But what do
you do when you live in North Rhine-Westphalia, step
outside, and the endless accumulation of
ugly, cold concrete suddenly
makes you feel even more shitty? [Music]
[Music] [Applause]
[Music] Nordreinwestfal.
Nordreinwestfal.
North Rhine-Westphalia has the statistically
largest population in Germany and
numerous large companies have also
settled here. It is basically the
epicenter of our country. Here's a
cool population map I
found. The number of red
dots in your vicinity correlates with the
number of huge corporate skyscrapers
right on your doorstep and the distance
to the nearest supermarket. Every second
building in NRW is a supermarket and
that comes with a slightly
annoying noise level.
Please get a grip. Don't give a [ __ ].
Don't give a [ __ ].
By the way, Berlin has its own red
dot in the top corner, because
after all, it is Berlin and the sentence: "Wow,
the view here is amazing." Takes on
a whole new meaning in NRW when you
[Laughter] Reingusen.
Reingusen.
If you take one of the motorways through NRW
, you will
drive through a construction zone after the fifth hour in a row.
With a bit of luck
Or
everyone who comes from North Rhine-Westphalia knows this
yellow helicopter, which
symbolizes exactly how long it will
take to get home. is basically the
North Rhine-Westphalian Statue of Liberty.
But if you come from NRW and
have never seen it, then you are not
from NRW.
You know you live in a big city in
North Rhine-Westphalia when you can
now easily tell the local homeless people
apart and your whole
circle of friends knows exactly who you mean
when you talk about the guy with
messy hair and a captain's hat in his
bathrobe who wanted to roast a dead rat in front of H&M .
A local extreme sport in NRW is
cycling in big cities. Cycle paths
are virtually non-existent or are
simply ignored by everyone, because
everyone in urban traffic
unexpected obstacles that will drag you to your death,
such as trucks, half-dead,
drugged pigeons, or holes in the
boat around every other corner. And
as soon as you're riding on the road and your
trusty bike path suddenly
disappears, you suddenly don't know
if you'll
get home alive today.
What are the worst kind of
cyclists? Young alternative
parents who attach the big handcart
either to the front or the back of their
bike and pick up the entire
family from the Waldorf school
with six children wearing
hand-knitted hats, somehow across
a street, and there's nothing you can do. But
But
Cologne and Düsseldorf are the two
most populated cities in
North Rhine-Westphalia. They are also in
great competition with each other and have been
arguing for decades
about which is ultimately the better
city. Good morning, lady. Good
morning puke-eating pot. Wait a moment.
Cologne, on the one hand, is open and welcoming.
Cologne is colorful in every respect. The most
conservative person you'll
find in Cologne is a
nonbinary fanboy with a cat-ear
headset, currently recording a TikTok dance .
.
Weakest man from Northern Germany.
Cologne is also home to the infamous
Cologne Cathedral. You have lived in this city for 30 years
. But every time you
stand in front of it, time stands still for a brief
moment and you lose
yourself in the majestic size of this
glorious building, until the
pungent smell of vomit and piss
and the loud screaming of some
crazy homeless person on the
cathedral square catapult you back to reality
. Without
you my darling died.
my darling again.
What's up with you?
The surrounding Cologne city
invites you to take a detour. And so that
everyone can see
Cologne Cathedral from seemingly anywhere in Germany
, the city has set
a maximum building height
for each district since the beginning of time,
so that no ugly gray concrete block
blocks the view of the cathedral,
resulting in endless
sunset pictures posted by
Cologne patriots on social media.
Guys, I'm in Cologne right now. I was
Cologne Cathedral. I suddenly found myself in a kitchen.
kitchen.
What looked like? Düsseldorf, on the other hand,
seems a bit snobby, luxurious,
ungrateful and oh my God, can you
only go to the bakery like that? Put on some
proper shoes, boy.
Fire must be a watch so that they are
not ashamed to wear it. To me
me
on Königsallee, also called Kö,
you will find a shiny
luxury shopping street that you
can stroll through to
look at things that you will never be able to afford in your life
. Here is the
public lake. The vaccination center is over there
. There is the public
toilet and there is the town hall.
Düsseldorfers always boast about their
incredibly cultural restaurants and classy
cafes where you can have a great brunch
, only to then
get a coffee to go for €2 at Meckels.
I won't let myself be fooled here.
Cent wasted barbing
money you [ __ ]. Düsseldorf also has by
far the
most sushi bars in the city thanks to the Japan, and with the
Tempelgarten in the Japanviertel and other
locations, it has by far the best sushi
in the country.
Have you ever been to Japan?
Not yet, but I want to go sometime
. Definitely have to go to
Düsseldorf Day Japan. You just sit
around. Is snobby and drinks
disgusting beer.
Ordering pizza is always a good
thing in Düsseldorf.
With a bit of luck, you might even
get a packet of cocaine. I can
recommend a good pizzeria in Düsseldorf's old town. I
heard that pizza number 40
With the slogan: "We deliver everything.
everything.
You get proportioned cocaine
instead of a pizza."
Like virtually every other part of
Germany, both cities think
they brew the best beer in the country
. And both cities were
built on beautiful grounds. This is a
very big and beautiful river.
But you shouldn't swim in it in summer
. You will most
My conclusion about the Düsseldorf vs. Cologne war is
that Cologne
is the better city because they
have a chocolate museum that has a
real Milka cow in it, and that
outweighs everything else that
Düsseldorf has to
offer. And that settles the question of which
city is better.
Oh no, the poor cow was exercising in the wrong place .
.
In NRW, carnival is also celebrated in many cities
. Every year,
people dress up for a few
days as whatever
comes to mind, or rather, whatever
Germany, the land of poets and
thinkers. At the latest when you look out the
window and see a
man dressed as a penguin trying to paddle a rubber boat
over the crowd
while being
pelted with packages of gummy bears from all sides.
You know, it's carnival again
in North Rhine-Westphalia. [Applause]
[Applause]
and barbary boy. If
If
I didn't know I was in Africa
, I would be sure I had landed at the
Cologne Carnival. Seriously,
people, you can
drink senselessly, listen to shitty music
and behave embarrassingly even without Carnival.
You don't need any extra holidays for that.
Hi, I'm not a fashion expert,
but I think your Pulis would
suit me well. No, my Pulis would
look good on you. Check.
Check.
The Ruhr area is also located in the center of North Rhine-Westphalia
. This is an association
of many large cities such as
Bochum, Oberhausen, Essen. Yes, the town
really is called Gelsen, churches
by the way. the poorest city in
Germany or Duisburg, of which
Duisburg is by far the ugliest and most
controversial city in
North Rhine-Westphalia. Shut
Shut
up and take your pills.
used to be the
economic factor of the entire nation of
Germany. Back then, your grandfather would get
up at 3 a.m. without an alarm clock to
drag himself into the mine in the freezing cold and
toil all day so that the
country's infrastructure could be
strengthened with blood-stained steel
. only to then
go to the local kiosk in the evening with his face smeared with coal and
Today, Ruhepot is nothing more than a
crumbling, antisocial
industrial area that you drive through on
an eight-hour car journey
and say, "Phew,
I wouldn't want to live here." Where
are we,
boy? It really is a dark place.
place.
20-year-old potholes,
chimneys and decaying industries everywhere,
a very high unemployment rate. And
when the European Championships took place in Germany last year
, visitors from
Great Britain complained about how
incredibly ugly and grey it was in
Ruhpot. And I think that
Furthermore, Ruheport is now known above
all for its very strong commitment to football.
football.
There are no football fans in the quiet area. No, in the
Ruhepot there are modern football philosophers
with a bit of residual blood in the alcohol
that flows through the Ween. Fans who stand in the front row at
every new Schalke, Bochum or
Dortmund game
and loudly announce that they
are here. The strongest shall come to me .
Yes, Ruhepot is a solidarity.
Ruhepot everyone says what they think. Are
you moving like that or what? Passport is
Of course, there are also smaller
and quieter towns in NRW. There are
more bicycles than people in Münster. If you're
unlucky, your driving instructor could be a bike
or your landlord. Okay, we're digressing.
The only interesting thing about Wuppertal is
the suspension railway. This is a track that
can float. People from Bonn love it
when you ask them what the capital
of Germany is. And if you
believe in the existence of this city,
you can also
do some cool things in Bielefeld, like not existing.
existing. [Music]
[Music]
By the way, North Rhine-Westphalia statistically has the
most drug-related deaths, and how
you managed
to overtake Berlin by so much remains
a mystery to me to this day. [Applause]
[Applause] [Music]
[Music] [Applause]
Maybe it's because the most
cocaine found in the wastewater in
Dortmund. Honestly, I have no idea how you
did that, but great work.
Keep it up.
I have a lot of coke in my ass.
If you should somehow manage to
escape the grey concrete jungle
, there are still some
beautiful sights
waiting for you in NRW. [Music]
[Music]
Münsterland, Sauerland and Rhineland
feel exactly the same three times.
Lots of nature, small villages and
settlements, lots of fields, a few
hills, lots of great forests and you
know it's going to be a good hike when
you come across one of those curvy wooden chairs
or information signs explaining the 100
different species of beetles that live here .
If you
want to see the most beautiful parts of NLW, then the best place to go is
Sauerland. There is also
also
a place called Winterberg, one of the largest ski areas in Germany
. Wow, what a creative
name. Suitable for your ski holiday. [Music]
That's not possible. Where did you
get skiing information? S times.
However, if there is no snow there
, you can still
go there and then complain about
not being able to ski because there is no
snow, just like every other
vacationer there does. [Music]
[Music]
Jürgen, this is by far the
shittiest vacation I've ever had .
.
The external stones are pretty fancy
and look a bit like what
I build in Minecraft whenever I
see some cool cliffs and mountains. If you're
unlucky, right next to your house is
a giant killing
mining machine that's regularly
pelted with rocks by angry activists
and looks like the giant
desert robot from Transformers 2. Oh,
Oh,
see that jerk? These robots suck.
suck.
I would also describe each of these castles and palaces, which seem to be on every other corner in North Rhine-Westphalia, as acceptable
land. This looks
like a roller coaster, but it's just a
boring sculpture. The Cologne Cathedral,
the Aachen Cathedral, the Essen Cathedral, the
Mindeln Cathedral, the Paderborn Cathedral and
of course other great
sights such as the
German rapper Manuelsen.
As soon as you cross the border, as soon as you cross the
border of North Rhine-Westphalia
, I will come there and [ __ ]
your mother's brother if I want. I'm
closing North West Falls. Manuels
Elsen, you are banned from NRW as of today.
In contrast to other federal states,
NRW does not have a significant cuisine.
That's why I would simply go with the
classic breakfast from Duisburg:
two cigarettes with Red Bull
from a coffee cup while staring
dejectedly at a grey concrete wall
. What should we drink? For seven
days. What should we drink? Such
a thirst. There will be enough for everyone.
In Rhineland-Palatinate there are incredibly
beautiful sights, such as
vineyards. Vineyards and not to
forget vineyards.
Wine, wine, alcohol Wine, alcohol, alcohol.
alcohol.
Wine, wine, wine, alcohol,
alcohol,
alcohol, beer, wine, beer, alcohol,
alcohol. What beer is in Bavaria,
wine is in Rhineland-Palatinate and therefore there is
no alcohol problem at all
among the population who only drink fine wine
that's a real treat,
to say the least.
The number one leisure activity in
Rhineland-Palatinate is wine festivals, where
people drink different wines and
walk through the streets together to
If you ever get called an alcoholic
, you can pour a little bit of
fizz into the wine and then
call it wine. Each region
in Rhinelandpal has a chosen
wine queen to
promote local wine tourism and
show others how much they enjoy drinking wine. It's
something that probably every
meeting on this planet wishes for.
On car number 51 we meet Tanja
after her first seven days as
wine princess. The wine is drunk
from specially made
traditional wine glasses. There are
also other
great attractions in Rilandfalt, such as the
world's largest barrel in Dürheim.
You can drink wine in there, for example. No, no,
in pedestrian zones, wine stalls in
schools, wine stalls on wine stalls, and
you can't walk 5 meters without
tripping over a vine. So, that's it
for my presentation on
Rheinlandfalz. I tried to
speak freely and use lots of images
and have fun drinking wine. [Music]
[Music]
Rhineland-Palatinate has by far the
most beautiful landscapes in all of
Germany. Standing on one of the numerous
hills in Rheinland Falz and looking out
over the vast and wide Germany
feels like you are
Frodo Baggins from Lord of the Rings and have
just been given the task of
setting off on a huge adventure armed only with a few berots and a cloak.
What happened, Gandalf? They were
waiting for you. Oh, I'm sorry, Freudo,
I got hung up.
Gandalf, we need your help.
First you pass the Eagle Gate of
1000 Questions, then you cross the
wobbly hanging rope Bridge of Death,
while giant
fire-breathing dragons fly past you on your left and right.
fly past you on your left and right.
I don't like riding motorcycles because it's
cool. I ride a motorcycle because I
enjoy riding. Apart from that
I don't ride a motorcycle. Cross the
foggy Laer Lake while a
singing siren sitting on a rock
tries to convince you to
pay taxes and
then defeat the final boss in Els Castle,
namely the moderator of Bares für Rares,
who throws various expensive objects
at you.
Good day, I wish you.
Shall we have a nice round of introductions?
round of introductions?
Yes, I am Helga Hobensack. Helga was
the one before
and at the end of your adventure you sit down
in the McDonald's in Koblenz and
order an XXL Big Tasty Bacon meal
Rheinlandfalz is relatively popular among the German
public. There is
no reason to hate this state
. No unnecessary waste
of tax money, no funny
costumes with lederhosen, and by
preventing the French in the south from crossing
the border into Germany
, we are all
a little better off in this country.
Oh my goodness, it stinks. No, wait,
that's me. The only thing that
can be blamed on your state is that
communism originated in
Rhineland-Palatinate through Karl Marx, who was
born in Trier. I'd
love to make a few jokes about it,
but I'll leave it at that and
just show some pictures of
really successful
By the way, Tria is the oldest city in
Germany, which is easy to see because of the
crumbling but very beautiful
old buildings on every other corner in
this city. And
of course, because everyone who comes from Trier has to
emphasize this again and again in what feels like every conversation .
. No.
No.
And one more word. Do
you have another one? Don't say it. Do
n't say it. How many? Do
n't say it.
I'll tell Trier.
So, that one's out. Can't get any money out.
Trier looks like what Americans
think Germany looks like on every
other corner. Of course, everyone
in Germany lives in a half-timbered house, and
over there is my castle, which I
got for my 18th birthday. Have you
already met my Roman buddy Hans
Wilhelm Müller the First? He
recently won a gladiator fight
. Why don't we
sit together on the side of the road later
and count the tanks driving by? You
American son of a [ __ ]. Yeah, sure.
Why not? No, no problem. Take a break.
Take a break. Spiderchen
Germany, Franconia house clerk,
citizen's office, social security.
Then there is the city of
Kaiserslautern, a large part of which
is American due to the
discreetly conspicuous
US military base Rammstein next door, where one
could also store super nuclear weapons or nuclear warheads. Molecule by molecule,
molecule,
atom by atom.
Oh. Oh.
And if you're wondering why America
has a huge, menacing military base in Rhineland-Palatinate,
ask yourself where in the world
America doesn't have a huge, menacing
militia base. because of Sweden
and Iceland and Finland and Germany
you know. Swiss and
Austrians, Czech Slovaks, Italy.
The city of Ludwigshafen is really
damn ugly and, along with Berlin, is the
undisputed ugliest city in Germany.
Germany.
Now I definitely understand the
saying: "If God wants to
punish you, will he send you to Ludwig's
Harbor?" and even offers tours where
you can admire this unbelievable [ __ ]
in its worst side .
.
Brund there has
n't been working for a while now
and to be honest I don't know what's wrong with
everyone. There are
beautiful places in Ludwigshafen, such as a bridge
in a filthy parking lot that
just ends in mid-air. It
could definitely be the set
of an after zombie apocalypse movie .
.
Rhineland-Palatinate has the
statistically highest forest area at 40%. Dense
fairytale forests with mythical creatures such as
Bigfoot or the
Flying Dutchman
In the beautiful and unspoiled
Eifel region, the probability of a volcano erupting is highest in all of Germany
Germany
. We're
definitely keeping our fingers crossed for you over there
. Have your apartment well
insured. I think you are a
great island and I would like to visit you. There are
many castles and palaces,
many remains from Roman times
and we also have
Rheinlandfalz to thank for the fact that the
amphibian species Stenocranio boldi was
discovered there years ago. This is basically the
prehistoric version of the
Wednesday Frog and has really good
memento and of course the famous
video of the highly intelligent Nazis from Trier.
Trier.
Because the asylum seeker doesn't take over
with me. 444 Germany German
asylum fraudsters out Germany.
I fulfill my fatherly duties with my
eyes closed.
A popular dish in the Palatinate is
Saumagen. These are basically
slices of meat that
could easily be slid across the water. Well,
to me it looks a bit like you'd
get super aid from it, but to each their
own. the famous onion cake.
This is cake with onions in it and
did I actually mention that
people in Reinfalz like to drink wine.
And after work, a small
sip of wine, a breast or
maybe even a large sip of
wine. And you know what?
I'll drink the red one too.
In contrast to other farming dialects in Germany, the dialect in Rhineland-Palatinate sounds
quite playful and as if you were
a little tipsy all the time.
What could be the reason for this?
Clear. Good morning. There was a boiled egg, then I had
a sausage spread, then I had
a cheese spread, we
made some nice jam spreads and
then peppermint tea with a bit of honey
in it. N I drove 50 km to the Saburch .
.
My favorite headline from
Rhineland-Palatinate is: Who knows this
kangaroo? Whereby 16-year-old bomb maker
drives 250 neighbors out of their homes.
is also a classic. Damned .
.
Besides, no other federal state hates the
Saarland as much as the Rhineland
. Understandably, these two
federal states have been sworn enemies for years.
Overall, a good package and,
along with Lower Saxony and Baden-Württemberg,
probably in the top three of the
best federal states in Germany.
Advertising. Honkai Star Rail is a game
that stole my soul and
killed my dog. They come in a
post-apocalyptic world with monsters,
magic, dangerous enemies and the
burning Burger Gate.
Wait, I think I'm reading the
wrong script. You've probably
heard about the game through all the
free advertising I did for the game
. A turn-based
role-playing game with demigod anime
girls, laser weapons, and intergalactic
trains that travel through space
. No, I don't know why
that is either. Update 3.4 includes the
new area Amporeos, a planet
somewhere in the big wide space and
other new great cities and places
like McFenburg.
Oh, I love kissing the characters
before sending them into battle .
.
With the new super strong character
Fanen, a new hero is added to the
already over 40 existing
characters with genders like
man, woman, cute dog,
destruction rooter and my favorite
gender trash can.
Oh, I wonder what his ultimate ability does
? Maybe something like a
super punch or a very strong
sword rat that will take over the world.
Well, are you having fun yet? Apparently not
enough. The game is really great. Almost
all of the characters are half-naked women
who always sound like they're in a hurry to
have sex.
The game won all these prizes .
.
You can play the game on all these platforms. A Fate
Stay Night collaboration.
Download it. Three lashes for anyone
who doesn't download Honkai Starrail using the link in the
video description
and collect 50 Stellar
Bremen is the smallest and least
populated of our 16 federal states and,
strangely enough, consists of the
city of Bremen in the south and then, a little
further north, the puny remainder
called Bremen Harbour.
Andi, what did you do?
Stop it. What did I do? Check
this out here.
One might ask some questions here
. Like, Wow, why is this
even a state? Or why is
the unemployment rate in Bremen
statistically the highest in all of
Germany? or why am I standing in
this completely strange house? Why do I have
a gun in my hand? Did I
escape from the Bremen mental institution this morning? Please help
me. I want to get out of here.
The fact that the federal state of Bremen is divided into two places
has historical
reasons and, like almost everything in
Germany, is connected to the Second World War
. In the early 19th century,
and that's why I think taxes
are robbery. So we should all, oh,
sorry, I got a little off track.
If I don't pay €1,000 in taxes in Germany
, they send me a warning
by mail. If I do
n't pay, they'll send my account,
sell my sister, lock up my
mom and shoot my dad to the moon,
and bury me in my own front yard.
front yard.
The port of Bremen is therefore completely
irrelevant and can simply be ignored
. This place exists
solely to
be financially exploited by the city of Bremen.
The port city of Bremen, on the other hand, is a
boring poverty ghetto that has
long since ceased to be what it would like to be
. It's also called Hamburg, only
a little worse with less
harbor culture and fewer hookers. [Music]
And what's left then? Apart from
poor schooling,
loads of homeless people, annoying
flooding, and traffic management so bad
that you
keep getting lost, at 40 billion, it has the
highest per capita debt in Germany.
Germany.
And there's no money in it at all.
Correct. Seagulls and fish sandwiches. Bremen
is seagull [ __ ] and fish markets, but they
are nowhere near as good as the
fish markets in Hamburg.
Nobody believes me again.
Nobody believes me again. Go to hell. But there
are no good bars or
good food in Bremen. Your bike is
regularly thrown into the Wesa by some young people
and the
weekend program consists of
figuring out together how to get out
of this [ __ ] as quickly as possible .
. Hello?
Hello?
Hello, is nobody here?
Bremen is tiny. You're just going for a walk in
Lower Saxony
, you realize you
're in some unfamiliar area,
and just 10 minutes later you've
crossed the entire city.
Here are a few more cool things you
can do in Bremen, for example. First,
leave the city.
No, honestly. Even the Brothers
Grimm fairy tale The Bremen Town Musicians
is about the four animals
taking over the house of the dangerous robbers
so that they never have to return to Bremen .
.
Henry Morone from Italy is unfortunately
already dead and he made the music
in this western film, for example, Once Upon a Time in the West .
. [Music]
If, after a stroll through the
iconic old town, you finally see the statue
of the Bremen Town Musicians,
like all the other
billions of people before you, float at the feet of
the donkey for a fulfilled life and 10
years of happiness. [Music]
[Music]
Besides the Bremen Town Musicians, there are
other talented musicians in
Bremen, such as Klaus Berbel, the
local city bum, who
Bremen's favorite dish, kale with
pinkel, is practically 50% of Bremen's culture
and looks like it would be served from
a giant pot in the form of rations after
after
standing in line for two hours
because America is still bombing Germany .
.
Verter Kohl. What do you think this
is? A garbage dump or what? A
cold Backsbier and a delicious
fish sandwich is a popular Bremen
dish. The Abitur in Bremen is
just as worthless as the Abitur in Berlin
and will not help you at all in the rest of your life
. But which Abitur
in Germany does that? And
everyone agrees that Bremen is by far the most unpopular of
all the coastal states in Germany
Germany .
.
I said that you always
gang up on me. You all think you
're so much better than me. Oh Meg, that
is the most unpleasant thing I have ever heard
. Anyone who finds a spot
at Bremen train station that
doesn't smell of piss will get
ten euros from me. Bremen's main station
is a
pretty strong competitor to Frankfurt's main station and
is deliberately avoided by most people in the city .
.
Hey guys, do you have any PT
FMpenner? Mine money, Visa Gold American
Express card plus PIN a bit of
small change. I know every [ __ ] up
[ __ ]. Think about it. Pay me 1250 a
month in full for 12 months
and you will have no problem
with protection. OK? However, all the
inhabitants of Bremen joke that
it is nowhere near as bad there
as in the even more crappy
town of Delmen Horst. A few
kilometers further.
Where is your wallet?
Sights in Bremen include
a handprint of Jan Böhmermann.
Bremen's old town is basically made up of old
buildings that look beautiful. It exists in
every other town in Germany
too. A giant glowing in the night
dial. Do you think we'll see
a ball somewhere today?
By the way, I had him back in Pokémon
at level 100. He could even use
Hydro Pump. Ladies, get in touch. And in the
middle of the University of Bremen stands
a huge tower, which everyone
calls a very large pencil
and in which the most secrets of
the last 500 years of German
science are kept. In
short, there's a bit of
I'm losing my mind.
After an intense and
mysterious journey through the
hidden corners like no other,
flooded with ancient legends and
long-forgotten stories,
the deepest secrets of this
federal state were revealed to me. But at the end of
my search, one question remained unanswered.
A mystery that still haunts me to this day
. Who is Schleswig and
Schleswig-Holstein is isolated in the
north of Germany and borders
both the North Sea and the Baltic Sea. If you
want to have a relaxing holiday, see beautiful coastlines and just lie on the beach
, then go to the Baltic Sea. [Laughter]
[Laughter]
If you want to walk painfully through the mudflats
, like seagull droppings on your
fish sandwich and
want to freeze to death in the icy cold wind, then take the North Sea
Schlesweg. Heustein consists primarily of
coastal areas filled with lighthouses and beach chairs, lots of lakes,
sheep and daring people. And with a bit of luck,
you might even find a person or two on some farm
Schlesweg Holsteiners are
also extremely patriotic when it comes to
defending the title of the true north of Germany. For
many Schleswig-Holsteiners, everything
below the Elbe is already
southern Germany. They often
jokingly call us Northern Italy .
Some up there even identify themselves
more as Southern Denmark than as a
federal state of Germany.
I've actually felt for a long time that
I was born in the wrong body,
that I'm actually a Viking.
And for Markus Söder, everything below
the Elbe is simply Bavaria.
There is no political correctness in Bavaria
. Here in Bavaria we have meat.
meat.
Even the state’s official slogan
is “The Real North.”
Although I now believe that those
up there imagine it to be much cooler
than it actually looks.
looks.
He is the white wolf, the king of the
north. The King of the North. The
King of the North. The King of the
North. If Lower Saxony were to
change its slogan to the real north,
Schleswig-Holstein would probably
change its name to the most real north on the same day. Yes, we get it.
So you live where the rest of
Germany likes to go on holiday. That's why
you have such people and nobody in Germany
likes these snotty bastards. [Music]
If you come from Schleswig Holstein
and one day someone
asks you where exactly in Germany you
live? Just say: "Near Hamburg,
like everyone else in this state
does." Here it doesn't matter whether Hamburg
is actually hours away from you, because nobody in this country really knows
where Kiel or Lübeck is, or
whether that's even a city or more like
the model name of a modern car .
Every business or restaurant
within 100 km of the North
or Baltic Sea uses this more as a
play on words. For example, here you can find drinks
and more. You know, because more and
more. And Sprigitte 47 laughed out loud,
shared it in her Facebook story and
[Music] [Laughter]
[Laughter]
Schleswig-Holstein is the only
federal state where it can happen that
it suddenly starts to
rain. It is almost always grey,
cloudy or foggy.
Rain will arrive during the night. It is
snowing at altitudes above 8 m.
Rain during the day, otherwise rain and occasional
rain, rain at night.
You look out the window and to the left
through the deadly fog that obscures everything you see
the Baltic Sea, to the right the
North Sea and straight ahead to Hamburg.
But it also means that you
can enjoy typical North German barbecue weather 24/7, also known as the
Jürgen, come in.
If climate change were to flood
the entire country in the next 30 to 40 years ,
,
Schleswig-Holstein would be the first to be destroyed.
And here I would
simply advise you Schlesweg Heiners to
climb the highest mountain in your state. However, this is the
highest mountain in your state. And
with that, we say goodbye.
Hello. Hello
under the In
this federal state, parties are not
held in clubs, but rather barn parties.
So the classic village parties with
cows, horses and way too
pushy pensioners, after which
you can then walk home drunk with
your friends for four hours at sunrise
. A long,
dangerous and seemingly impossible
journey and some of us will
not survive. The most popular
leisure activity in Schleswig-Holstein
is sailing, and no one in this
state is safe from seagulls, some of which
are so incredibly bold that they will
even break into your apartment at night armed
and steal your wallet .
Here in the north, people also greet each other with
Moin, which you
can say at any time of day.
Hello, hello, hello.
Well, it's time to go home. Yes.
Yes.
Yes. However, people in
big cities always take this a bit strangely
, especially when you
buy a Snickers and a thirst quencher at the gas station at 9 p.m. and
For years, Schleswig-Holstein has been
the undisputed statistically
happiest state in Germany,
by a large margin. People here
are happy with their
state government and enjoy their
hundreds of types of fish sandwiches. Everyone
lives in the countryside or in small,
peaceful villages. Nature is beautiful
and untouched. Dunes characterize the
landscape and in the distance you can see
expansive rivers and beautiful
islands. The real reason for the
high level of happiness in Schleswig-Holstein,
however, is that this federal state
is actually the only one in Germany
that legally legitimizes online casinos and poker rooms
due to a special regulation .
. [Music]
[Music]
So remember, 98% of
gambling addicts quit before they
win big. Thank you
very much, Schläfsweg Holstein. Because of you,
I am heavily addicted to gambling. Offer is
only available to people whose residence or
habitual abode is in Holstein.
Holstein.
Hyper Perino, your no
-frills casino. Don't take life too
seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
The registration office in Bad Segeberg is
also cursed with issuing a
new license plate every day that begins with SE
and ends with XY, so that
some 40-year-old Jessica Cars with
fur on the steering wheel and plush dice
in their Mini Cooper can laugh about it .
.
I am the
Schleswig Holstein who invented the wheel
and this time it is not a saying,
but the actual reality,
namely 3400 BC.
Something, a little thing, distinguishes
Run,
I can walk.
The longest bench in the world is located in
Schlesweg Holstein.
Please do what you want with this information. Low German
is spoken most frequently in Schleswig-Holstein
. A slightly rural
dialect. But you can roughly
understand what is meant. Not like
in other federal states. Looking at you
again, Saxony.
Hello, I'm Lennard.
The upper margin of the Holzstein LZw
is located in Germany
in the 50,000
Danish minority on the border with Norway.
Norway.
Schleswig Holstein also
hosts Germany’s largest metal festival every year. Or better
put, the biggest drinking festival in
Schlefsweg Holstein plays a bit of metal music.
In addition, the largest German island
called Süld is part of Schleswig-
Holstein. People on this island lead
a very hard and difficult life.
Champagne and cavia for breakfast.
Daily consumption of things you do
n’t actually need. Constantly
driving expensive and loud cars and,
worst of all, having to open the door for your butler
after he
brings you the rolls in the morning. Not two
streets away, the butler finds what he is looking for.
Yes, it's 500. That's fine.
And what is this for now?
Here is the most expensive village
in Germany. You can arrive, for example, via
private chat or, as a politician,
with a government helicopter. As we all know, the
equipment of the German Air Force is a
a
self-service shop if you have a
bit of say in politics .
.
But if, as in the case of Defense Minister Lambrecht, the visit happens to
take place near Süld shortly before Easter, the 21-year-old son
flies along and they then
spend Easter vacation together on the island, then
the whole thing takes on a bad taste.
Most people here think they are
better because they have more money or
can afford expensive luxuries. A
man in Süld was once reported
because he had described a woman as a low earner, and
and
of course you don't let that happen to you when
you have seven-digit amounts in your account.
And no one here has any real connection
to reality.
Is he aware that people who
have more money potentially
consume more than people who have less?
have less?
No, I don't think so.
Why not?
I just don't believe it.
Yes, I
mean, those who don't have money can
still fly. So
maybe with a regular plane
or something.
In terms of pocket money and also a
little bit from the parents, of course
. As you can see, Sch feels like its
own microcosm and is
therefore liked by everyone in Germany
, just as everyone on Süld
likes the rest of Germany. Maybe
we should all pack our bags
, get on the train and
travel to Süld together. I think
the people on this island would
welcome us warmly. It
It
can be quite annoying.
If you can't fit in, then
you should stay where you
can fit in, and that's difficult here.
difficult here. Yes indeed.
Yes indeed.
Furthermore, this place is known for the fact that
no political controversies have
arisen there over the last few years. And now that you
're here, does anyone know why the
comments section of Gigi Dagino's Larm
To Jes is locked? I could
swear it wasn't always like this.
German Empire, my name is Fitler.
What can I do for you? The next
and final part of the four-part
video series about German federal states
is about Nettier. But have you ever been
to Baden-Württemberg, a state
with many stereotypes about Nazis and
broken roads as far as the eye
can see. Another federal state with many
stereotypes about Nazis and at the same time
one of the most unpopular
federal states in Germany. the
federal state that doesn't exist and
therefore no people
live there and the one federal state that I've been
announcing since the first episode
but have kept forgetting about in the last few episodes
, simply because it's
so incredibly irrelevant. Until the
next video. Thanks as always for your
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