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Top 15 Mysterious Things Found on Craigslist | Top15s | YouTubeToText
YouTube Transcript: Top 15 Mysterious Things Found on Craigslist
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15.
Bathtub Full of Noodles Some might call the posting that appeared
in the Pittsburgh craigslist insane.
But after reading this craigslist ad, everyone can probably agree that something extremely
weird and mysterious went down in 2009 on the northside of the city.
Let’s just put it out there: the mysterious craigslist ad requested that a woman in a
one-piece bathing suit sit in a bathtub full of noodles.
You heard that right.
A woman.
Bathing.
In noodle-filled bathtub.
Why?
The poster never clarified, but he did make it clear that the noodles would get eaten.
The mystery man claimed he wouldn’t be home – and neither would any other creepo – whenever
the bathing suit-clad visitor planned to lounge in the slimy bathtub.
In fact, the poster said he’d arrange for a key to be left somewhere for whichever lucky
lady he chose to complete the mission.
“Sit at your leisure,” he posted.
“I will require at least a 5-minute stay.”
How would he know that the chosen sitter had come by and splashed around in his noodles?
Why, a friendly neighbor had offered to peer through the blinds across the street in a
totally not sketchy way, timing the sitter with a stopwatch that had been supplied by
the totally not sketchy host.
The poster’s only requests: “Please supply your own footwear.
The noodles will be cooked, and therefore slippery.”
And…
“DO NOT bring any sauce.
I will season the pasta after I return home prior to dinner.”
Seems like a lot of work for some lady-flavored pasta.
And what does the lucky lady get in return?
One whole US dollar.
Don’t spend it all in one place!
14.
The Locking Stocks & the Pole “Got a witch you need imprisoned in the
town square?”
the ad poses.
“Perhaps the village idiot has crossed one too many lines, or some street rat has taken
bread?
Then look below and no further as I have a set of working, and locking stocks, custom
made by burly, god-fearing hands that expect old school protestant justice.”
The ad’s photos include a shot of the locking stocks, which appear just how you might imagine
them: a large head-hole in the middle, bookended by two wrist-holes, for proper old school
humiliation.
For the price of $150, or best offer, according to the ad, you’ll receive “punishment
value you can't shake a stick at, and if you did, it would be to flog the intended victim.”
But wait – there’s more!
This locking stock is only the first in a set of items “constructed by the same burly
god-fearing hands.”
Item number two?
A portable dancing pole.
The 8’ pole comes with a 4x4 base with sand bags to keep it steady.
Only $100, or best offer.
As the ad notes, the poster suggests you buy them as a set.
13.
A Human Soul While some people grow bitter when life’s
handed them lemons, other’s grow creative.
One of these creatives has offered a “Black Friday special” in the form of a human soul.
Every year on Black Friday, people go wild trying to find the best deals for Christmas.
The poster of this ad decided to skip the lines and go another way: “I am interested
in selling my soul or trading it to someone that could help me acquire holiday gifts for
myself and family.”
The now soulless individual mentions that she is “short on cash” and will verify
the exchange with a contract and a certificate of authenticity.
The poster suggests that the buyer could trade in her soul “for fame or riches” without
using their own (although, I’m not sure why the seller didn’t just do that in the
first place).
The seller even assumes her soul is so worthless that it could be regifted or used as a doormat.
What is the going rate for a soul these days?
“I will trade for household items and electronics, car or truck, gas mopeds, ect.
you get the idea.”
Although this Black Friday special is kind of dark, the buyer is sure to receive a pretty
stellar and polite soul, as the seller completes the ad by spreading some holiday cheer: “Thank
you and have a great holiday season!”
12.
Belly Button Lint Perhaps one of the strangest, most unexplainable,
and dry heave-inducing items on this mystery craigslist countdown is one that came out
of Baltimore.
This Maryland man offered up a so-called “collection of belly button lint.”
Not only did he place an ad for this disgustingly awful collection on craigslist, along with
this wonderfully charming picture to accompany it, but he only offered the collection for
trade.
What did he want in return?
“Will trade for muscle car, Harley, gold coins, work also or make cash offer.”
Oh, yeah, he also wouldn’t mind a motorcycle.
The poster requests no low-balling.
“Only willing to split if you don’t have what I’m looking for.”
You’re not going to cheat this man out of his belly button lint collection.
He knows its value.
11.
The Unfinished House While most people wouldn’t race on over
to craigslist to find a roommate or a home to rent, it’s clear that there are some
missed opportunities for those who pass it by.
For instance, this beautiful mystery of an unfinished home, which is on the craigslist
market for the low, low price of $600/month.
Not buying; renting.
Renting a home in the middle of its remodeling.
You can stay in the “garage room” for the totally acceptable price of $500.
Although the poster admits that the garage “was made for parking cars,” he also suggests
that the “low cost, big area” would be great to live in.
So if you always dreamed of dreaming amongst toolboxes and musty cardboard boxes full of
stuff you never threw away, look no further.
And don’t pay any attention to the posted pics; the place is not a complete disaster
zone.
According to the poster, “Some things are almost done.”
However, if you’re a chef, you might want to skip the open house, because there’s
no kitchen present.
If you’re a super creative who can cook without an oven, you’re welcome to store
foods in the garage fridge.
The living room is where the real party’s at.
Sit back on the conveniently placed toilet in the middle of your bathroom-friendly living
area.
And while your toilet is in the living room, don’t bother to look for a shower in the
bathroom.
There’s a huge hole where the shower should be.
The best is yet to come: you’ll be sharing this stunning unfinished pad with five other
people.
Just think, you and your fellow potential gutter-rat roommates could be chilling in
the “pool area” right now.
Or, better yet, everyone should gather in the bathroom, which you’ll all be sharing.
10.
Dictation for the Insane One mystery craigslist ad had a writer searching
for inspiration in the strangest of places, when an old woman requested a typist.
The elderly woman lived alone on a ranch after her husband had passed … a ranch that she’d
turned into a cat sanctuary, with more than 100 felines grazing through the fields.
Not only did the old woman want a typist, she wanted someone who could haul 50-lb cat
food bags around the farm to barrel-feeders she’d installed.
The typist part of it came into play whenever she’d have a spontaneous conversation with
her husband’s spirit.
The old lady wanted to make these conversations into a book and call it Conversations with
Jack.
Why did she want this wonderfully strange and strangely wonderful book written?
According to one prospective typist, “she had run out of money since spending it all
on cat food.”
This meant that the old woman couldn’t pay the typist until the book was published…if
it was published at all.
The woman who’d applied said, “I actually decided I wanted the job because it was so
insane that I could write my own book/blog about the experience.
Unfortunately, I was passed over in favor of someone with an English degree and 10 years
of professional typist experience.”
Wow, who would think more than one person applied for this job.
9.
African Judgment Chair All of the mystical elements from West and
Central African tribes spice up this mysterious ad posted on craigslist.
A seller uploaded this “African judgement chair,” which was used in African tribes
during criminal trials.
As a number of cultures have believed, confessions – or “truth” – can be elicited through
these devices.
With chains and shackles and spikes and cuffs – some tribes believed the chairs held the
innate power to get the truth out of would-be criminals.
The chairs were intricately decorated, and some tribes had distinctly separate judgement
chairs per gender.
The chairs, themselves, were often carved of spirits from the afterlife, both men and
women.
When a person stood trial for something they were sat in the judgment chair.
So that macabre feeling you’re getting, looking at this craigslist ad…well, that’s
absolutely called for, as someone – and maybe many someones – has had bad things
happen to them in these chairs.
Reddit users, however, not familiar with the dark arts found the African judgement chair
posted on craigslist a bit unimpressive.
One user, Joecamel, said, “That's awesome!
Not $3,500 awesome though.”
Another user confessed, “Late at night, I feel all my chairs are judging me.”
This one most certainly is.
8.
Pope Hat Extravaganza Once you’ve seen one pope hat, you’ve
seen them all.
That’s probably why this sad little business had to close up shop and throw all of its
hats into the ring.
1,325 pope hats, to be exact.
“Because of this terrible economy, I'm having to shut down my business,” the poster wrote.
“I have OVER 1300 pope hats (replicas) that I REALLY need to get rid of.”
He goes on to list the incredible selling points of these pope hat duplicates:
1) They were made in China 2) They’re slightly too small for an adult
head 3) They irritate the skin
4) You’ll have to wear another small hat beneath them so as not to get a rash – “just
like the REAL POPE,” the ad claims 5) Dogs tend to hate wearing them; although
the poster does suggest that a “nice dog” or “large cat” might be a sport about
it He also shares his first-hand experience dressing
his own dogs: “My dogs…always hate being dressed up.
Like for Halloween, when we tried to dress them up like Batman, they became very, very
agitated and bit a neighbor’s kid.”
Don’t worry, though.
The poster’s dogs won’t attack you if you come and pick up the entire lot of pope
hats.
They’ll be locked away, so as not to be led into temptation.
Aside from the terrible economy, there must be some other reason the poster is trying
to get rid of all these blessed hats, right?
I mean, you’d have to be crazy not to want 1,325 pope hats lying around for good luck.
In fact, there is another reason: the man’s wife.
“My wife is a devout, and she finds the presence of all of these pope hats all over
the house to be blasphemous.
I have pope hats in every closet, pope hats under the sink, pope hats full of other pope
hats.
She…has started lighting candles all over the house for my soul, but these pope hats
are extremely flammable so it’s a problem in my house.”
The poster claims his asking price is ten times less than what he paid for them.
But he is optimistic that whoever buys the replicas will get their money’s worth: “I
still think there is a market for them maybe when the economy turns around,” he writes,
advising buyers to “bring 2-3 strong friends” to help haul the load.
Buyer beware: one of the hats is burnt and three of them have dog bites.
Otherwise, they’re pristine as the Vatican!
7.
Imaginary Friend If you’re searching for an imaginary friend,
then look no further!
Craigslist has got you covered.
Big Foot posted an ad on craigslist, looking for friends.
After reading the ad, you’ll find that the mystery is how in the world he hasn’t found
any yet.
According to Big Foot, he’s striking out with the ladies at the bar lately.
And it’s plain to see why, once you hear his approach.
“See a piece of whistle bait,” he writes, “and Bigfoot make move, me pretty smoove.
Go to jukebox, put on Whitesnake nod along to 'Here I go again on me own', check fly,
check mouth stink, order two white Russians and saunter over.
I say: 'Hello, this seat take?"
Most time lady just run, scream, sometime pepperspray.”
The imaginary friend’s “personal ad” is even more seductive than he is.
“LOCATION: NEXT TO CRANBERRY BUSH AND STUMP, EDUCATION: DEVRY, LOOKING FOR: HOT SHEFOOT,
OCCUPATION: FOREST GENTLEMAN.”
Favorite activities include: “JAZZERSCIZE, T-BALL, TAXIDERMY, RUNNING FROM CAMERAS, FILTH
HOARDING, CHILLIN', CRYING SELF TO SLEEP.”
The monster’s height is listed as 7'1", while his weight just reads “lots.”
He only wants a “small litter” of children, and lists his relationship status as “sad
and lonely.”
Although this type of reaction may turn you off from just such an imaginary friend, remember
that Big Foot is really and truly an “easy-going” guy.
Another plus: he claims to give good back rubs that may crack a rib on occasion.
And although he “smells like compost,” it’s like a beautiful fall musk that’s
reminiscent of “pumpkin pie.”
Are you afraid of catching something from your imaginary friend?
Don’t worry, the “family of voles” in his armpit keep him clean.
Honestly, if you’re looking for an imaginary friend, you’re not going to find a more
interesting match than Big Foot.
6.
Ceramic Bald Lionel Richie Ever browsed the “wanted” ads on craigslist?
They’re almost as diabolical as the “for sale” ads.
Take, for instance, this very strange, very specific request from one poster who is searching
high and low for a “replica of the bust made in the Lionel Richie ‘Hello’ video.”
Thankfully, the poster does mention why, exactly, he’s making this strange request.
The bald head of Lionel Richie will serve as a dip holder at parties.
The poster intends to revitalize Lionel’s “lovable afromullet” with cream cheese
dip.
Of course, the dip-head would become the talk of the town, and this creative person would
become the life of the party…at least, in his dreams.
He admits that he doesn’t have many parties, but also notes “if I had this, I might start.”
The poster has more detailed requests to add to the strange ad.
“I'd like it to be maybe about a foot tall.
It really has to look like that bust (which oddly enough doesn't look like Lionel Richie
at all) or it won't be worth it.”
He requests that it’s the same tint of “orangish-brown matte finish” as it appears in the video,
but also safe to eat off of.
He also offers a trade; on his end, he can help you out with your computer viruses.
5.
Bread & Other Things A mystery shopper left a shopping bag at a
Farmer’s Market table.
Inside?
A loaf of organic multigrain whole wheat bread and a 36 value pack of trojans.
The poster mentioned that the receipt “both shocked and delighted” her, as she didn’t
realize trojans were so pricey.
She stated she was “shocked because, although these look like really good ones, they set
you back almost 40 bucks!
Delighted because if no one claims them, I'm exchanging them for 4 tubes of Maybelline
Great Lash Mascaras and some sunscreen.”
Here’s hoping that no one claims them!
Although the poster acknowledges that neither she, nor her employees, noticed who’d left
the bag, she did have some ideas about who the mystery man might be: “MALE, born in
the 90's or 2000's, optimistic yet cautious, health conscious yet carb loving.
Maybe a long-distance runner?
Would make sense in the stamina department as well.
Or maybe you are in a band?”
The mystery of this bag was never solved.
4.
The Couch I know there are plenty of couches on craigslist.
But, believe me, none of them has THIS couches pedigree.
Entitled, “BE THE COUCH you want to sit on in the World!”
one craigslist ad puts forth an epic CV for its unbelievably accomplished couch.
You’re going to want to sit down for this one.
The couch began its life of “selfless service, community building, life-coaching and spiritual
leadership,” with an ambition to achieve the utmost in the world.
And it did just that.
Some of its more well-known accomplishments listed are:
“Sitting Goodwill Ambassador for the United Nations, TED Conference sitting chair, and
Executive Director of Sitting for the World Economic Forum (DAVOS)”
But that’s not all that this mysteriously profound couch has accomplished.
It’s also served under Roosevelt’s Rough Riders, as a Space X Pilot Seating Consultant,
and as the practice couch for Tom Cruise's Oprah appearance.
If you don’t know whether this extraordinary couch will work in your living space, the
poster lists “version 2.1” as compatible with: people of all sitting styles, cats,
both basic and advanced, children (although this requires an application), and even dogs
(a patent is pending).
Personally, I think this couch is lying on its CV.
Looks just like the ratty old Central Perk couch from FRIENDS to me.
3.
Giant Ugg Boot It’s not so much this thing on craigslist
that’s a mystery; it’s more the ad’s advice about what you can do with the giant
Ugg that has some scratching their head.
The poster calls on all fashionistas to kick all “the basics” in the face “with fashion.”
The ad states that “This giant Ugg style boot is robustly built and can handle more
pumpkin spice-induced diabeetus than the fine folks at Liberty Medical and Wilford Brimely
himself!
will know what to do with.”
That’s a lot to live up to for a boot.
But, according to the poster, even with such big shoes to fill, this boot won’t lose
its kick.
This boot was made for walking, but not only that – it is made for many other things
too.
The giant Ugg is incredibly versatile.
Just open wide your imagination and, as the ad suggests, you’ll find this multifaceted
boot can serve as “a basic cat house,” “a lamp” Get really creative and “mount
it on your roof as a beacon to show your home is a sanctuary for all those who love pink.”
To answer the myriad of questions about where this poster purchased the great Ugg, the seller
responds, “Hey, that’s none of your business, is it?”
The seller warns that if someone doesn’t come pick up the boot soon, “I will burn
it and a black north face fleece in a ritual to summon the dark prince, aka a guy named
Chad who cheats on you all the time.”
No one wants cheating Chad to reign down upon us, so someone had better go fetch this giant
Ugg before the dark prince comes.
2.
Chucky’s Sister Have you ever watched Child’s Play and wished
you had your very own Chucky doll?
Well, now’s your chance!
Chucky’s sister doll is selling on craigslist Oklahoma for just a buck in a terrifying ad
that will make your skin crawl.
The seller claims that the doll moves and laughs on its own.
“Our dog won’t stop barking at it, and we never find it where we left it,” the
ad reads.
“Doll has really cute laugh.
No batteries.”
Don’t know about you, but I’d find any non-battery-operated laughter from an inanimate
object to be sinister, not “really cute.”
The menacing doll looks like it walked right off the set of a horror flick: pale greyish
skin, strange eyes, a mess of white blonde hair, wearing a black frilly dress, while
holding one flower in its hand.
Believe it or not, the owner admits, “Our daughter doesn’t want it anymore.”
The ad found its way to Reddit and Imgur, where users simplified their terror in a string
of “nopes.”
Other users noted that there were dozens of similar-looking dolls on eBay with haunted
back stories and the like.
Some were selling for upwards of $5,000.
Often, the higher end “haunted” dolls were collector’s items.
Instead of emptying your bank account over a haunted doll, simply answer the craigslist
ad, and you’ll soon be the happy owner of your very own haunted doll, for the low, low
price of a dollar.
Act now!
This horrifying possessed doll is going fast!
Before we get to number 1, my name is Chills and I hope you’re enjoying the video so
far.
If you've ever been curious as to what I look like in real life, then follow me on Instagram
@dylan_is_chillin_yt, with underscores instead of spaces.
I also have Twitter @YT_Chills where I post video updates.
I'd really appreciate it if you followed me and feel free to send me a DM if you have
a questions or suggestions.
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because we upload new countdowns every Tuesday and Saturday.
1.
Generic Father Figure A recent craigslist ad was shrouded in mystery
until it went viral, and the truth was uncovered.
The ad requested a “Generic Father for a Backyard BBQ.”
While the ad, itself, was hilarious, the reason it was created was a mystery.
That is, until the media got ahold of it.
Some of the requirements of this generic father included:
“- Grilling hamburgers and hotdogs (whilst drinking)
- Bringing your own grill - Refer to all attendees as "Big Guy', "Chief",
"Sport", "Champ" etc. (whilst drinking) - Talk about dad things, like lawnmowers,
building your own deck, Jimmy Buffet, etc.
Funny anecdotes are highly encouraged.
All whilst drinking.”
The barbecue was to be thrown on June 17th of this year.
The group known as “The Boys” turned out to be a friend group in their early-to-mid
20s with a preference for generic dads with the names “Bill, Randy, or Dave.”
An investigation into the viral ad led news outlets to report that the group had received
over a hundred contacts about the ad, with one Montanan dad offering an entire cow’s
worth of beef and five kegs.
In fact, the ad even garnered attention from international dads, with an applicant from
Germany throwing his hat in the ring.
But this was all for naught, as “The Boys” said their dream dad, Bill Murray, was the
only generic dad they’d accept flipping their burgers.
“Even our own dads will never be the perfect barbecue dad because that’s Bill Murray,”
one of “The Boys” admitted.
Here’s hoping Murray came out to grill.
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