Joe Rogan podcast check it out The Joe

Rogan Experience Train by day Joe Rogan

day you do a podcast like every [ __ ]

day man pretty much this week every day

[ __ ] that but I was just on vacation how

was vacation nice little vacations are

hard you know because

like even though I enjoy rest I always

feel like I shouldn't be

always I get it you go on vacations no never

never

no nope for me creatively it's good it's

good to get a reset cuz I come back in

guns blazing like I really I don't I

don't risk any mental burnout when I do

it well I have resets but my resets are

like um I call them Aid stations mental

Aid stations so when you're going

[ __ ] hard and you're grind all the

[ __ ] time like everybody knows you're

24 hours in the day but I'm in the

shower it's a mental aid station I don't

think about [ __ ] I don't [ __ ] think

about people I don't think about work I

don't think about running I don't think

about working out I'm in the car another

[ __ ] mental aid station when I'm

[ __ ] eating mental aid station so

people EA and they work and all sort

[ __ ] man so I I can grind hard because a

lot of times I'm in mental [ __ ] a

stations chilling so you have little

mini vacations mini vacations man all

day long all day long do you feel now

almost a

responsibility to like stay at it all

the time cuz so many people are watching

and paying attention and drawing

inspiration from you 100% I mean like I

probably would have retired a long time

ago but I get these emails from people

and it's like they're living through me

like their strength comes through what

they know I'm doing so there's so many

times I want to get up and say oh man

[ __ ] it I got mine I'm good and I'm like

[ __ ] [ __ ] Tommy out there

[ __ ] [ __ ] Tommy talking about

tomm in his email Tommy talking about

[ __ ] saved his life man I ran 10

miles last night because of you man I'm

like you know a lot of people can live

off of that and they can [ __ ] be good

with that and you know a lot of

motivational people come out here man

and run their [ __ ] mouths about

[ __ ] and I know they are not doing [ __ ]

they sit back and they're [ __ ] like

you know they have their little

brainstorming sessions about oh what

should we say

what's going what's going to connect

with people while they're sing their

[ __ ] ass my brainstorming sessions is

[ __ ] out there in the [ __ ] grip of

life [ __ ] grinding and that's where

the all my material comes from the suck

every bit of it comes from the

suck and that's the difference between

there's a there's like a whole industry

now that's dedicated to trying to help

people get motivated and a lot of the

people that are involved in that are

very unqualified 100% cuz they're not

really doing anything no there's so many

people that haven't actually done

anything but they'll try to teach you

how to get your life in order and how to

get your mind right and develop that

Warrior mentality i'm like [ __ ] you

don't have that well they're utilizing

the weakness of the world right now yeah

the world's in a very bad place so the

PE these these people who are like K

artists they sit back and say oh I can

come up with this I can come up with

this and this right here probably make

me some money yeah so they're in it for

for for [ __ ] up reasons this just not

a whole lot of people like you you you

know I love that phrase uncommon amongst

uncommon men cuz it's it's such a good

phrase because it just shows you you

you've been on this path for so long and

you're grinding for so long but you're

also honest about there's moments where

you don't want to [ __ ] do this oh

which is why it's so interesting because

you do it right you you do it without

any reservation you just go through it

right but you always talk about I don't

want to [ __ ] do this [ __ ] but you

always do it but that's what people need

to hear because they feel like that

somewhere out there there's some

superhuman person who never feels

Despair and doesn't have any there's there's

there's

no no hesitation so they feel like

there's this person that's so different

than them and so much stronger than them

and doesn't ever have any

procrastination and you're like that's

not me

no I love that phrase you told me once

he goes sometimes I look at my [ __ ]

shoes for half an hour AP put those [ __ ]

[ __ ]

on it's a true statement but but what I

do though man is I I came with this

thing called perform without purpose and

so many people they need to have a 5k a

10K I need to have a a a course in front

of me I need to have something in front

of me for me get my [ __ ] ass up and

do some [ __ ] and that used to be me and

nowadays you know [ __ ] for past 20 some

years I don't need [ __ ] purpose and

people miss out on this man the purpose

we're all looking for this golden

purpose is it this is it that is it

making money it is is it my family

[ __ ] the purpose is you we

forget that every [ __ ] day I wake up

and I don't want to do some [ __ ] [ __ ]

I'm like okay man do you want to be a

[ __ ] today do you want to feel like a

little [ __ ] do you want to walk around

all day knowing that you could but you

didn't so I I it's performed without

purpose you you have to learn how to get

up and do [ __ ] when you ain't got no

[ __ ] 5K no 10K nothing nothing exists

your life [ __ ] sucks you're in the

[ __ ] dungeon but guess what

[ __ ] I'm still going to get it

because when that time comes cu the time

is going to come when that purpose is

there you'll be ready but most of us

[ __ ] aren't ready because we don't

know how to do without having the golden

carrot in front of us yeah and so you're

all [ __ ] there's also this thing where

if you do it once it's over you get a

break oh like that's what a 10K is

that's what a marathon is I'm going to

train for this marathon and you're

you're training and you're training for

that big day but you're also recognizing

when that marathon's

over that's right that's right and as

you get better at that H moment the all

moment becomes less and less so my all

moments now are like oh I ran today I

went to the gym today I did this and

this today I studied

today I have about eight hours off in

those eight hours are glorious to me and

every day you go back out and you start

earning that and every day you wake up

it sucks and when it's over you feel

better it sucks you feel better and as

you get going as every step you take in

that Journey as you're like for me run I

run every day [ __ ] hate it but every

step I take I'm like all right

[ __ ] you're beating the demon

again you run every day but I don't

think people understand how [ __ ] up

your knees are no you you you run when

you sent me that x-ray after your

surgery and I looked at what they did to

your knee and and I looked at what it

looks like right what the actual bone on

bone looks like and how it had distorted

because there's no cushioning at all no

and the doctor said to you I can't even

believe you could [ __ ] walk on these

knees yeah forget about run thousands of

miles so you're doing this every day in

constant pain right right what is it

like well I don't suggest explain your

knees first of all so okay so PE people

think that my knees are bad from a lot

of running and they're wrong I'm I

wasn't born healthy I wasn't born with

some great body alignment some great you

know I have sickle cell I have all kind

of [ __ ] I have all kind of health issues

you know all kind of I'm I'm [ __ ] up

so I had a choice to make and the choice

was you know growing up you know okay

this hurts that hurts we can just sit

down and do nothing or we can see how

far we can push the human body so on

that Journey as I started getting more

and more into my mind and start

realizing that while what I'm capable of

doing my mind got stronger so the so the

pain in my knees while it sucked I've

been doing it for so long it was like it

became my new Norm like okay my knees

hurt [ __ ] it stop you know and I and I

call like um stop feeling sorry for

yourself but you sometimes have to

ignore your feelings I'm Ming Jamie a

picture you KNE oh no do I I I think

Jamie has some uh do you have a picture

of his KNE Jamie did I ever show send it

to you

Jamie I have it here hold on let me just

but keep going no so it's like for for

me I I made decision and my decision was

to be the best person I could and I

basically a lot of mornings I wake up

and say [ __ ] your

feelings and that doesn't mean like you

know don't take it literally [ __ ] your feelings

feelings

but sometimes you have to go beyond what

you're feeling and my knees were [ __ ]

but guess what I wanted to run and I

knew that okay you can get knee

Replacements this and that like I said

it wasn't because of I Ran too much

people always want to say oh man you ran

so much so you [ __ ] up your body you

know you don't want to be like David

Goggins I hear all the time you w't be

like David Goggins but so there's your

name yeah there it is look look at the

fact that there's zero space between

those bones yes sir from the top from

your your your tibia to your femur

there's zero space it's just

kneecap covering two bones that are

rubbing against each other and

so this was after surgery where they had

to cut your

knee slice your shin like in half and

then take a chunk out of it because it

had deformed so much from you running

with bone on bone that it was starting

to like swell out in One Direction and

it was changing the alignment of your

leg right this happened back in 2000

2001 I was going through buds so this

happened for a long this is this right

here has been going on for a long time

so and it got to a point where it's like

okay I'm done and that's the pl that's

in there right now so as you see the

wedge that part right there in the bone

that's opened up yeah so they had to cut

it realign it and then um now the uh

alignment is better but this is now

about 17 months ago 17 18 months ago

when this happened so couldn't I get

some screws that fit go back to that

real quick

real the one sticks right out of the

[ __ ] bone hey cut that [ __ ] off yeah

that [ __ ] down is that thing sticking

into your leg no I don't well I feel the

plate every single time I move yeah so

every time so because it's like

connected to the hamstring so whenever I

[ __ ] whenever I move that plate is

very irritating so every step even like

when I walk when I run it's just it's a

very irritating thing and then you got

to wait for so long for that leg to

start getting back into place and if you

see that other picture I sent of the

foam my my foam leg that I put my hand

in I think Jennifer sent it to you Jamie

with the foam leg you'll see this in a

second this is [ __ ] up so like the

swelling in that leg was [ __ ] nuts oh

when you had EMA yeah you showed it to

me in Vegas you you were sticking your

thumb into your sh I grabbed it yeah

yeah so it was it was pretty nuts but um

you know once again it's just things you

uh things I was willing to endure to get

it right

there so that's just all post surgery

swelling yeah so when the doctor said

this to you and he he said look this is

how [ __ ] up your knee is did he say

you need a replacement what what was he

saying basically I had two options so I

went to the first guy had the surgery

done that's in the book I talked about

that but then the second guy so after

the first surgery I was done so this is

the first surgery after buds no so this

is like back in uh looking at 2000 so me

and Cameron this is recently so I didn't

have any surgery going through buds

really I didn't have any surgery at all

so I went through in 2001 I [ __ ] up 20

2001 whatever it was I messed up my leg

real bad and hell we kept on going on it

just kept on going kept what did you do

to it in how week it was like I I [ __ ]

it up somehow like running or whatever I

Happ it it can't hurt me but um it was

uh I think the boat I fell it twisted

but over a period of time it's got worse

and worse and worse so I was getting

like Tor all shots every day and then

just got worse but I'm like [ __ ] it I'm

good so I kept going on it so it kind of

healed all [ __ ] up so this kept going

kept going kept going years later years

later just kept going on it so I stopped

squatting so it became like okay my

knee's [ __ ] up my align is messed up

my hips are messed up I can't squat so

but I still run it's okay I started

running cuz running doesn't require you

to bend down and [ __ ] so I'm running a

lot and it got to um 20 years later

pretty much and it was

2020 or i g get this right camon Haynes

came down we went for a 20 mile run my

knees were [ __ ] up for like 10 years

long story short it was like okay man I

got to get this thing looked at so when

got looked at the doc was like oh we can

go in there and just do a quick little

[ __ ] you know cleanup job and the

cleanup job went so quick guy was

breaking tools and [ __ ] [ __ ] up like

literally broke tools and I have it in

there he he was breaking tools I talked

to him I know he told me your meniscus

was the hardest meniscus he's ever

experienced in his life he's like dude

he goes I didn't know that miniscus

could get that way he goes like he's not

human he goes when I was cutting into

meniscus it broke the scalpel yep Wolf's

lost and Joie said Wolf's lost something

yeah yeah he said normally when you cut

in meniscus it just slices right through

like butter he's like I couldn't cut it

yeah might went butter I went butter so

all those [ __ ] who think I went

putting them 100 while weeks go [ __ ]

yourself [ __ ] you don't get no [ __ ]

like that baby i s on the [ __ ] couch

no I mean that's the craziest thing I've

ever heard like you've hardened your

meniscus just through constant pressure

and pounding yeah so he went in there to

clean it up and then what happened so

basically that little meniscus that

whatever the [ __ ] was in there so my so

my alignment was so bad the only thing

that was keeping me able to do anything

was that little [ __ ] up messed up um

meniscus it was all Jarred up and jacked

up but the second that thing got out

dude it was like I was have you seen

Star Wars those those storm thing those

those those those big [ __ ] um things

that what they called um they have

wobbly legs when they hit like logs

robot things yeah robot things that's

how my leg was it was it had nothing it

was just like a little dangling [ __ ]

like so from my knee down the shin the

tip FIB it just dangled like there was

nothing and I was like okay man this so

was worse after the cleanup much worse

like I was done I went from running 200

M to I I did 240 mile race in in 20120

October 2020 it was Moab went out there

got second place 6 2 hours knee was

[ __ ] up getting it drained before the

[ __ ] race but I still ran 240 miles

literally 5 or 6 days before the race

I'm getting it drained and it was a

baseball siiz [ __ ] um it's called a

baker's assist so they drained it and I

went in there did the race finished it

and I was like okay here we go went on

to do some more races I did like another

200 mile did a couple more races and

then like I said cam came down but after

that I went and got this surgery done

and I went from running every day to now

I have some [ __ ] leg that just

dangles and after that surgery it just

[ __ ] dangled I was like okay man I'm

[ __ ] and just from that little piece

of manessa just that little piece of

meniscus and I'm sitting there thinking

okay man this is not this doesn't make

any sense to me this there's something

[ __ ] I don't understand why I can't I

can't put any pressure on my leg the the

amount of blood they were taking out was

was unbelievable so there's the blood

right there Jesus Christ that's the

blood dude oh my god there one two three

four five you see the black blood yeah

that is deoxygenated blood so whatever

was going on whatever the [ __ ] was going

on that's why it looks different color

so the red blood is the the blood that

has oxygen right and that was just like

coagulated [ __ ] up blood yep Jesus

yeah so that so after surgery I'm like

I'm like seven seven days out or

whatever the [ __ ] it was and once again

I don't know the exact times but I have

them in the book I have everything

[ __ ] dialed in um I went back I was

like man I'm I'm [ __ ] up I mean it's a

simple miniscus surgery man like people

go back a week later they're playing two

weeks three weeks tops I'm like man I'm

never going to [ __ ] run again I'm G

to walk with the [ __ ] limp so I'm

going back I'm getting [ __ ] like um

literally getting my knee drained every

week getting PRP I'm like man but in the

back of my mind I I know how far I can

push myself I know my body so [ __ ]

well so well and I'm like this is um

this is wrong I go I'm never gonna run again

again

I'm never going to run again I walk with

the limp so this went on for about six

six months so I had the surgery done in

February it was uh February March April May

May

June about four months four months after

surgery four or five months I'm like hey

Jennifer um I gotta find another you

know somebody else look at my [ __ ]

knee so I try to keep my [ __ ] together

but imagine when you go from every day

of your [ __ ] life grinding and you go

to nothing mhm like literally like

90minut surgery done that's crazy that

it was just a little meniscus scope 90

minute surgery done and I was like okay

man this is anyway so I found this guy

named Dr Gamal out of New York and we

fly there but I'm like he can't fix this

man because I knew it was a lot more

than knes it was just it was all kind of

this [ __ ] up body [ __ ] and I walk in

the office and he decides to see me and

me and Jennifer in there Jennifer's happy

happy

she's happy as [ __ ] it's like oh my God

man this guy's going to be able to get

you a a [ __ ] miniscus replacement he

he was all kind of Guru out but I'm a

realist bro I will push myself and I

will go as far as I can but I also am a

realist I also knew in the back of my

mind I'm not gonna try to ruin your

[ __ ] party Jennifer this what I'm

saying myself but this shit's done it's

over so but I went just to pretty much

appease her and just see you know if

there anything left so walk in the

office and the doctor's like uh yeah I'm

looking at your X-rays and that's the

Doctor Who's like I don't know how this

is one the Dr Gamal look him up world

renowned [ __ ] dude and when this

guy looked at me straight-faced he said

man I don't know how you did

anything with those knes anything let

alone run 200 miles back to back 240

miles what the [ __ ] you did I don't know

how you did it and so I'm like okay

whatever can we get it fixed and he

didn't want to get get there cuz he knew

I was [ __ ] he's like no you know we we

can maybe you know try an in un loader

brace maybe an un loader brace will help

you out and I was like what's an

unloaded brace so basically my knee went

in on the miniscus side on the inside so

it was like jamming in the inside so

this brace kind of like it kind of helps

realign the knee a little bit so then

you cannot have so much pressure on the

inside of your leg so that's it right

there one side yeah so basically I'm

like man I'm like okay I'm not

so this is all you have for me I'm like

you can't do [ __ ] for me and he was like

um no and he was walking out of the

office and he could tell I was like I

wasn't too [ __ ] up but I was like CU I

kind of was preparing myself for the

next part of my journey I don't like to

lay in my [ __ ] too long you I give

myself a couple minutes okay

[ __ ] we gota man the [ __ ] up we

gotta get back in this [ __ ] like

what's next you know let's go let's go

see you know let's let's go back to

college let's let's do something because

you're you're running and you're let

Chris done so he got to the door he

opened it and as he was literally he was

shouldered out the [ __ ] door

and I'm looking at Jennifer I'm like

well you know we'll go back to [ __ ]

you know go back to Nevada and [ __ ]

start again and he was

like try the unloaded brace out and

there's one more thing we could possibly

do for you and I'm like [ __ ]

like get your little monkey [ __ ] ass

back in here bro like what is is it like

like like what the [ __ ] going on so he

was like yeah there's this surgery called

called

HTO and he was like you can go in we can

[ __ ] you know pretty much break your

tibia it's called high tibia osteotomy

they go in and they break your tibia

they they they like slice into it and

they they wedge it to the point where

they realign your leg back up it's a

very painful surgery it's very painful

afterwards painful as [ __ ] afterwards

and they put that plate the plate you

saw back on and then your leg is so so

your knee is still where it was because

this doesn't get fixed so it takes

several months for that knee to start

working it way back into where that

alignment is so now my leg is just now

so here it is you see it on the image

yeah so they they take a slice out of it

because it's deformed yep and that slice

lowers the part that's deformed and

tries to make it a more natural shape

but you're still dealing with bone on

bone so you're still deal you're still

dealing with the pain of arthritis

essentially cuz do you have any

cartilage in your knees not much not

much at all if any so the thing about it

it takes that pressure off of that so it

was complete bone on bone right what

that surgery does is it takes it over to

the lateral side so on the outside so I

I have a nice meniscus over there that

thing wasn't touched for years because

how I was born all the pressure was on

the uh my um medal meniscus so your knee

had been misaligned your whole life

whole life that's what yeah that's my

whole life has been [ __ ] up so my

Meniscus on my lateral side is

pristine so now the way he did it is

that all of my pressure is going on to

that pristine miniscus okay so now it's

all about getting that leg back aligned

which is taken forever and it's still

not aligned it's getting there it's

getting there yeah it's getting there

cuz M was so [ __ ] up can they do a

meniscus replacement on you no so that's

what I wanted to get done but if your

knee is so far gone like mine was there

was no option for that why is that

because my knee was so far gone so it

would like when you put that meniscus in

there however it works he said it

wouldn't have taken it like basically it

would have taken it but it would have

[ __ ] destroyed it because your leg is

so your knee is so [ __ ] up so this was

the only option for me don't they make

like an artificial meniscus now as well

yep and this with this guy really is

specializes in so he's he's like the guy

to go to for that stuff what is an

artificial meniscus consist of I guess

it's just I have no idea I'm not even

going to get into that [ __ ] see if we

can find out what that is cu I got some

[ __ ] up knees too not like yours

though if I ever think about complaining

I look at yours yes sir see world's

first artificial meniscus available in

Israel and there you go Andreas

gal yeah there he is and so this it

looks like some sort of a clear gel

looking stuff and which is you know the

the meniscus is just a cushioning in

between the two bones and the cartilage

and this is uh oh look at that yep

yep

H and but they can't do that to you no

you have to be a good candidate for that

so your knee has to be in a certain

certain condition and mine was not in

that condition it was it was F if if you

were candidate for that would they be

able to do it and you be able to run or

is that just like to move around and

walk from what I read about you can you

can run you can do everything you want

to do but sometimes if you do a lot it

wears it out so you but you could get a

new one get a new one yeah that's not

that bad not that bad man for you it

doesn't work no because basically it

wouldn't even work for me because my

knee was gone but the way he reshaped it

wouldn't that correct I mean he kind of

like changed your alignment of your knee

and made it more normal I think it had

he made it more normal but from what I

understand um if you put that in there

structurally like like structure-wise

what what makes it more normal is the

surgery he did so right now there's no

bone on bone for me so there's no need

for that meniscus at all so a lot of

people get their meniscus taken out if

you have the right alignment and your

body can do what it's supposed to do

really yeah but if you get your KNE your

miniscus taken out you're just cartilage

on cartilage if you know um Dwayne Wade

Dwayne basketball player yeah I believe

Dwayne Wade played years years if I'm

correct with no meniscus yeah I I think

in both his knees Jesus yeah years he

had he end up having like really bad

knee problems but his meniscus was

messed up back in the day they used to

take it out so if you look here here it

is was in college wow surgery to remove

the meniscus in his left knee 11 years

ago while he was at Marquette led to

ongoing knee problems he's had with

Miami Heat I'm so glad that you have

this [ __ ] thing to pull up Jamie

because I would be talking out my ass

half the damn time that's I do man you

[ __ ] [ __ ] squar me away brother

knees are a problem man yeah and the

fact that you require your knees to do

what you do like your your whole thing

is endurance athlete right and to be an

endurance athlete you got to be able to

move your legs you got to be able to

move them but what I like about and this

was this was like literally a a trained

skill for me was I'm I'm always

preparing for like not being a [ __ ]

like a lot of people get to a point like

for instance like if Jennifer can't do

something like if you know if if if she

can't go for a run or whatever just like

cuz she something's wrong like some

simple [ __ ] it's G to bother her I got

to a point in my life where I realize

this is life and so I move on past

things real quick so people like oh my

God what are you gonna do David if you

can't run [ __ ] I'll swim or I'll

go to college or I'll do something else

this like like this isn't my life so I'm

I'm I'm I'm I'm very aware how quick

life can take [ __ ] from you and I've

always prepared my mind for the next

chapter and what happened with me was I

started this thing called front loading

so when I was young I used to be a

little piece of [ __ ] you know like

[ __ ] oh I'm not good enough I can't

do this I can't do that but the second I

got my head out of my ass and I realized

man you can achieve a lot of [ __ ] if you

get off your ass and you start moving

and you start motivating yourself start

becoming a self motivator so I started

front loading and front loing is people

man you've done so much by 47 because I

don't know what tomorrow is going to

bring me so my my military resume is fat

you know I [ __ ] did a lot in the

military I did a lot outside the

military I've I've I've made money I've

I've I've done almost every race out

there hard race in the world I've broken

pull-up records I've done a lot of [ __ ]

so when these bad times come and also

not like like not only that like work

your ass off so so you can enjoy yeah

yeah you taking a shot

you know you you may not live to be old

but what if you do and you worked your

ass off when you were able and you were

able to [ __ ] get up early able to

grind if you frontload it properly the

back half of your [ __ ] life is money

and that's what I did the second I

realized that man you are a piece of

[ __ ] we got to get going because at 47

man you're not GNA be able to do any of

this [ __ ] 50 whatever you are so I front

loaded so all these bad things have

happened to me I sit back man how are

you handling this so well [ __ ]

i' I've done it I front loaded I have

the money I need I have the success I

need I have the [ __ ] the the

determination the willpower and also the

pride in myself so when I wake up every

morning I know who the [ __ ] I am I

frontload it perfectly so I don't care

what's taken from

me but it's got to still there got to be

a strange position to be in where your

body is your medium the body is the

vehicle for you to express yourself

right and your body's breaking down mhm

and I know that they considered doing

knee Replacements on you too yep and

what was that conversation like it was

it was very basic man it's like hey you

know you're you're not going to be able

to do some of the [ __ ] that you've done

even though obviously people are but

that was a conversation and I know it

sounds weird it was totally fine with me

it was fine because I had dude people

don't understand this this wasn't like a

a part-time job man when you've done

without like Kobe Bryant when Kobe [ __ ]

retired at last game he like 60 points

or some [ __ ] he walked off the court he

didn't [ __ ] cry he said oh my God I'm

going to miss the sport what the [ __ ] he

walked off he gave he gave everything he

could man when you [ __ ] give what

I've given and [ __ ] like to say

oh you [ __ ] you you don't [ __ ] know

[ __ ] which makes me who I am I've given

everything people make oh you you ran on

[ __ ] up knees you taped your feet up

you blah blah you had two heart surg you

kept on going yep sure did I had

somewhere to [ __ ] go I had somewhere

to [ __ ] go and I got there and Buddy

when [ __ ] tell you you can take

a break now hey you're [ __ ] up as long

as my knees are halfway worked I got to

run you're telling me man may maybe

chance I can't run no more H give me an

excuse to [ __ ] not do [ __ ] but as

long as I have no excuse I gotta do it

but I I was I was happy where I was I

gave everything I give everything to who

I am and that's why I'm people I don't

believe that don't don't believe it I

gave everything and when you give

everything man you have no regret people

didn't understand me people don't

understand me now I don't give a [ __ ] I

know exactly what I was doing I'm not a

masochist I'm not crazy I'm not this and

that people try to title me and label me

no I had something to [ __ ] do well

the way I describe it to people when

people ask me like why does he do all

these things like what is what is the

motivation here I go he's on a mental

Journey that very few people have ever

been on because the what people don't

understand you they or they

misunderstand you or they purposely

misinterpret the way you're living your

life you're trying to understand your

mind in a way that very few human beings

ever get to understand their mind

because you're taking your mind into

these terrible Dark Places all the time

and you're trying to pull things out of

that you're trying to to learn things

about yourself and about your potential

from that that's exactly it and that's

what people don't understand I studi the

darkness you you find no [ __ ] answers

in the light none it's too happy it's

too nice and we're not we don't need to

be taught how to live in happiness that

that just comes naturally to us happy

moments but the dark times man you can't

and you can't get there unless you put

yourself there life will take you there

but when you get into those dark moments

that's why people that's why people how

are you able man I couldn't [ __ ] read

and write to I was a junior in high

school how are you able to write like

this man

[ __ ] I go to such places in my

mind and I study the darkness like it's

not just physical when I was growing up

and I saw my mom getting beat and I got

beat and I was some stuttering little

black kid in allh school and I'm on

stage and I gotta say one line one

[ __ ] line in front of [ __ ] 15

people and I walk up stage kind with

[ __ ] stutter

all those insecurities and all those

[ __ ] things man I used to go home and

[ __ ] cry like my God man I'm [ __ ]

up I'm just all [ __ ] up I I'm hang on

man as I got older we got to study this

[ __ ] man the only way we're g to [ __ ]

get through this if we study it so every

time I'm in a dark moment and life's

[ __ ] up around me whether it be

physical or just life I get in it man

with a [ __ ] pen and paper I'm like

okay this [ __ ] sucks I can feel like

I'm [ __ ] losing my [ __ ] but let's

[ __ ] study this let's come out of the

this [ __ ] genius you know I

studed the I studied the the the the

black matter of the Mind the dark matter

you know like [ __ ] stepen Hawkins

that's if that's [ __ ] his name I said

it right that [ __ ] studied the

space and [ __ ] yeah that's where I

consider myself man you know I I was on

a journey just like you said I mean you

you you couldn't have said any better

and so many people get it wrong and I

don't give a [ __ ] man you can't for me I

cannot help people there's a lot of

cookie cutter [ __ ] out here in this world

world

discipline wake up early take coach

shower [ __ ] this [ __ ] that whatever it's

all [ __ ] [ __ ] it's not but what

they don't teach you within the cookie

cutter is like our minds are like a [ __ ]

[ __ ]

garage and the garage if you open a

garage and it's all cluttered up it's

all [ __ ] up you can't put your car in

there you got [ __ ] boats and you got

[ __ ] kids toys and [ __ ] everywhere

but if you organize that [ __ ] garage

and you put everything rightful spot you

can pull that car in there you can put

two cars in there you can put bikes in

there and that's like with the Mind

people talk about discipline and [ __ ]

determination and [ __ ] you know

repetitions and all this [ __ ]

consistency why people fall off the

wagon so often is because their mind is

full of [ __ ] there's no room in that

mind for discipline there's no room for

consistency they may do it once or twice

but then the mind takes over in that

cluttered [ __ ] garage

comes in and then it's like a circuit

breaker man a circuit breaker just

overloads and it [ __ ] Sparks and our

minds that's that's our mind man it's

like a [ __ ] circuit breaker that so

much [ __ ] in it you keep on loading it

you can't put any more into it so I've I

talk about it in there man so much about

clearing space in your [ __ ] mind so

then you have room for all those

discipline waking up early taking those

because they they they do mean something

but we don't get to that [ __ ]

dark matter that is keeping you from

clearing out that mental

garage that's a good way to put it

because that is the mind of most people

is filled with stuff that they have to

move around to get to what they want and

it's constantly piling up and there [ __ ]

unorganized and organized mind man

you're looking at the [ __ ] I got to

take care of the kids the kids scals was

all [ __ ] up my husband my my wife you

know I'm I I [ __ ] I'm going by

McDonald's to get this and I'm in my

schedule everything's just [ __ ] I wish

I was doing this but I'm doing that and

that and this and I want a raise but I

can't get one my boss an [ __ ] where's

greatness in that man you can't you you

can't fit discipline into that you can't

fit structure you can't fit consistency

you can't fit to grind and then when you

try it just gets [ __ ] it gets [ __ ]

overrun by the [ __ ] clutter in your

[ __ ] up mental garage when you are in

these dark places and you're Gathering

up these

lessons how difficult is it to try to

bring that back and convey it to people

when you're not in that space like when

you're in that space when you're in the

Moab 240 and you're going uphill and

you're in the middle of the it's just

deep suck right how do you convey where

that mental fortitude comes from how do

you bring that back it's almost like

you've got something you can't even hold

in your hand and you want to show it to

people I take

snapshots so every time I'm in a bad

situation like you know I I study it and

that's the only reason I do have to [ __ ]

I do is I'm studying this [ __ ] because I

know that I never thought I was G to be

writing books and trying to help people

get better but I'm I was always trying

to do it because I knew I

sucked and so when you know you're

trying to get somewhere you know you

suck you know that you you believe that

you're a born

loser you are taking snapshots man like

you know you you see something on your

phone like oh man I'm going to take a

[ __ ] snapshot of that or how you do

the little picture [ __ ] so you can save

it on your phone I do that in my mind so

I get in these moments I'm like [ __ ]

okay wow that's some [ __ ] good

knowledge right there man I snapshot it

because I know that I can use that later

I can I can I can use this because I'm

not out there just I'm not most people

they go out and they run and they go out

and they do and they're like oh this is

beautiful look at the [ __ ] Mountains

and the [ __ ] and all this [ __ ] no I

don't like it my body hurts I'm hurting

how do we get through this and it's a

[ __ ] it's a it's it's a lab it's my

mental lab and I and so when I come home

I'm not forgetting it and the second I

every day I get done running every day I

get through work and every day I get

through studying whatever it is that

brings me to that place of knowledge I

come home and that book was mostly

written on scratched piece of paper in

hand so I come home from from running

and I write everything out I write

everything out all those things and as

I'm running I'm talking about it so all

these things that pop my head as I

continue to run I'm going through it I'm

I'm starting to layer it down I'm

starting to break it down into okay that

happened okay now now let's layer this

because that's just not how it happened

it just didn't happen that way what led

up to this and so it becomes Me by

myself in school I'm literally going to

school right now and I'm learning so

when I come home I write it out and and

then I'm able to write out and I'm able

to think about it and say okay oh this

is good [ __ ] this is this will help me

later on and then it becomes what it is

now and when you try to convey it to

people what what do you when when you're

writing it out and when you're talking

about it like what are you thinking are

you thinking that this is going to get

into someone's mind and this is going to

help them motivate themselves are you

just trying to express yourself and let

them do with it what they

can I'm them you're them I'm them I and

the [ __ ] up thing about me why I'm

able to do it the way I'm able to do it

I'm not above them I was never above

them a lot of people write where they

are they write where they are oh yeah

like [ __ ] you right now writing you

have a good life man you have a [ __ ]

good life I don't write from that place

I write from the place that I am the the

the the the place that created who I am

I go back to that place I call going

back to scratch

I can't write about David goggin now

David goggin now is a

success people want to get to be to feel

whatever success is for them they want

to feel that so I can't write it here at

David goggin successful I must write at

David gogin [ __ ] man I'm a [ __ ] I

don't feel good about myself and every

day I go through that Journey so that's

where it comes from it comes from

scratch all that [ __ ] all my knowledge

comes from going back to where the real

growth growth doesn't happen when you

make it so far in life you make it so

high up the whatever it is whatever

you're trying to be there's no more

growth there's small growth but you

remember back when you [ __ ] tried to

become Joe Rogan you are now how much

growth was in that tons of growth

learning lessons learn so I go I always

RIS that's why I'm a [ __ ] wildland

firefighter now wh why I'm a [ __ ]

smoke jumper I don't need to do that

[ __ ] at all but I don't learn learn

anything from where I'm at now there's

no knowledge up here the knowledge is

down there in the [ __ ] muck so that's

where I write that's where I go back

that's where I learn I always go back to

school always go back to the basics I

always go back to first

grade and how much of that is tied to

doing things physically though there's

like there's a there's a certain kind of

physical struggle that you go through

particularly with what you excel at

which is endurance athlete work when

when there's a mental and physical thing

that happens when the two of them are

together it doesn't happen in anything

else like you can do hard work hard

mental work and it's very difficult and

I'm sure you can learn a lot from that

right but it doesn't have the physical

pain that comes with the suck of

endurance work yes there's nothing

nothing in the world that you're able

I'm able to get let's say I that Moab

240 I was in 62 hours

[ __ ] sucked it's just with blown out

knees blown out knees literally the a

few days before the race I'm getting

them drained Before the Race so that's

in your [ __ ] mind man like it ain't

like oh I show up to start like oh this

is [ __ ] great I'm gonna [ __ ] have

a good time out here no I'm thinking all

right let's have my [ __ ] knees

drained like I'm I'm in pain at Mile

zero and that's in your brain I have 240

miles of [ __ ] ahead of me and there's

nothing in life nothing in life this is

why I love Endurance Sports so much I

love it and I hate it it's LoveHate

relationship 62

hours I equate that to [ __ ] seven

years of

life you can't get that man so what I

know that Ultra does for me is it packs

in it packs in I can't I can't live several

several

lifetimes I can't see because the

knowledge I need to gain for this life I

live in today I need two or three or

four lifetimes to be where I want to go

Ultra gives it to me in [ __ ] high

definition real fast 62 hours you go out

there [ __ ] suffer you come back oh

that was 62 hours I gained seven [ __ ]

years of knowledge the ups and downs the

pain The Suffering The the you you learn

how to chunk the [ __ ] down like oh my

God man I'm at Mile 100 how the [ __ ] am

I get toor

118 everything becomes you you start to

learn Life out there and you learn so

much in such a condens period of time

and nothing in the world can do it like

pushing yourself to the absolute limit I

I I caught like

so people have talent people have a lot of

of

talent and this is going beyond your

talent so when Talent when there's no

more Talent what happens happens to you

most people

quit people only go to their talent

level and once their talent level is

gone it becomes a mental game that that

whole mental game sets in then and most

people can only perform to their talent

and they realize man why am I always

messing up right here why why why is

this like my big my big hurdle it's

because you're performing to your

talent and then after that your mind has

nothing for

you nothing for you I see I see Fighters

I see Runners I see people who they're

great but they get to the edge of their

talent it's like [ __ ] man what what's

what's up because you're now at the

point now where you're talented could do

[ __ ] for you my

friend now it's the mental

game and that's where people get lost in

life get lost in that next level and

that next level is found for me in the

things that I do just misunderstood

that's a giant problem with Fighters yep

there's many fighters that are Elite

level in the gym but when they get tired

and when they get pushed and when they

get into that there's a when the world

starts narrowing and the walls start

closing in and they can't see

peripherally anymore Y and they're

exhausted and they start making mistakes

so all of their understanding of what to

do next gets clapped outed because

they're thinking about quitting they're

thinking about being exhausted when am I

going to get a break how much do I have

left in a tank can I even push forward

here or will I gas out and risk getting

stopped and that is exactly what you

said goes on into the human mind yeah

when Talent when you have a talent

problem yeah it's exactly what goes on

your mind so how are you going to

[ __ ] defeat that bro you're sitting

there getting beat the [ __ ] down by a

[ __ ] just on you [ __ ] just

going you down take down take down take

down hit in the face hit in the face and

all it's going through your mind is what

you just [ __ ] said there's no

positivity in that but when you train

the mind the way I train mine [ __ ]

ready man [ __ ] ready because first of

all I didn't have much talent so I had

to train one [ __ ] thing you better

train your [ __ ] mind because my

talents going to run out way early when

[ __ ] got hard for me back in the day bro

I'm done I'm out see you okay I got to

invent a [ __ ] that can so I

invented goggin I invented a

[ __ ] that that that realized

we're not good enough but gogins

realizes we're mentally strong as [ __ ]

and we're going to outstrength these

[ __ ] in the mind there's a big

um there's an understanding in fighting

that sometimes

Talent is a curse because some people

are very talented and they just don't

work as hard you know uh khabib Nur off

talks about that and he's one of the

greatest mixed martial arts fighters of

all time one of the rare guys to retire

undefeated but he's like talented guys

don't work hard enough no he's like

talented guys the problem with talented

guys is they can get by early they're

they're like faster than people maybe

they just have a better understanding or

better coordination some people just you

know we're not even like people are not

even in their abilities when it comes to

sports some people are just very gifted

yes but gifted fighters in particular

they just there's something about it

where a lot of them never realize their

full potential no because they don't

develop that mental game that you're

talking about they don't have to because

they could piece people up on the

outside they win fights easy they stop a

bunch of people in the first round they

look like a hero but then when someone

comes along that can survive that first

round and then start dragging him into

hell that's right oh and you see and

that's you said you drag a [ __ ]

into hell who's a [ __ ] who's a demon

yeah you're in the long for a long race

and and they're hard people with a

talent problem who are so talented

they're hard to train they're hard to

push if if if you're their coach and you

trying to get them to see that we got to

get you past this Talent problem we got

we got to get you to the point where

you're into that mental Zone because we

got to get you way past your talent and

it's it's hard for coaches to take these

these f or whoever past their talent and

on the other side is that is where they

gain true true levels the the the levels

Beyond talent that that's where it

really is because if you're able to take

a [ __ ] down to Deep

End while [ __ ] just putting his

toe in feeling the water and [ __ ] if it

my first in the deep end he would take

you down there and he's mentally strong

it's over it's over man they because

they because they live in the deep end

they live in it man they thrive in it

you it's almost like you have to have

the ability to go to the deep end no

matter whether or not you'll ever go

there right yes and some people are like

well I'm never going to go to the deep

end but you should be able to yes 100%

you have to be trained to do it you have

to be trained for it for that time comes

you're like okay I'm deep in qualified

yeah I am deep in [ __ ] qualified I

got my [ __ ] deep in certification but

you know what's interesting about this

book is you talk about how there was

moments even though you're clearly deep

end qualified clearly deep end certified

yes sir you took some time and you

hadn't been a deep end for a while and

you like I'm kind of a part-time Savage

now right this is kind of [ __ ] and

you're recognizing it in yourself even

though you know your ability you know

your history you know what you've been

capable of doing in the past you're like

but I haven't been there nope I haven't

been there in a while and you had to go

back what's funny about that part-time

Savage thing in there man where I

[ __ ] totally dogged myself because

the truth um all this became nice

waking up

[ __ ] bakon in eggs [ __ ]

[ __ ] [ __ ] protein shake early morning

[ __ ] and I stopped having those hard

conversations with

myself boy my whole life that's why

motherfu hate my ass boy because I'm

hard on me if I'm hard on me I don't

give a [ __ ] about you I don't give a

[ __ ] about what you think I don't give a

[ __ ] you think about me nothing else

hard on myself bro every morning I woke

up all right [ __ ] I call my

morning meeting

my morning me we all have these [ __ ]

meetings all [ __ ] day long you know

we go to work we're we're working for

somebody else they want a meeting

because they want to be successful so we

all sit our ass down try to make them

better try to make them more money try

to make them more powerful we don't do

that for ourselves so every morning I

wake up I used to I I had to get back

into it again because in that chapter

you see I became a little [ __ ] that

morning meeting I wake up okay goggin

what did you do [ __ ] up yesterday

where were you at and I go through and

analyze my life and then went through a

period of time there man where I stopped

having those conversations you know how

you let's say you and your wife go out

let's say I don't I don't know just make

up a story here you and your wife go out

and you see your cousin and your

cousin's fat as [ __ ] I don't know I

don't know they are not hopefully not if

they are apologize maybe so they go out

and you see your cousin she's fat as

[ __ ] he's fat as [ __ ] whoever

and you guys get back in the car and you

guys man you see [ __ ] Mary Joe

how that she was that's what we do we go

back in the hard conversation that you

should be having with Mary Joel hey Mary

Joel you [ __ ] gained some weight huh

sister [ __ ] kind of big that's what I

do to myself a lot of people that we see

all day long we see them you don't have

the hard conversation with we we walk

around I rather you [ __ ] hate me and

get better than like me and stay the

same and that's how I feel about David

Goggins [ __ ] I rather me hate I

hating you David man I hate you David

but I get better from it I get better

from it and that's why when people see

me and I know you you're you're in my

little Foxhole if you're in my Foxhole

and you become a piece of [ __ ] hey come

here brother let me talk to you real

quick Brother people don't like that

[ __ ] man but I'm not going to allow you

to go to a place that's going to be hard

to get out of it's G to be hard if I

allow you gain five more pounds or allow

you take four more days off of school or

like to keep on procrastinating in your

[ __ ] life and I see and I tell

Jennifer behind your back I'm doing you

no [ __ ] Justice zero justice so where

this world is now you can't say a

[ __ ] thing I do I still do and

I always will don't like me don't like

me I'm good with that that's exactly

what's going on with like fat models

that's it I'm proud like you're

beautiful no matter what but that's not

true and the thing about it is I have no

problem if you want to be fat I have no

problem with anybody if you want to be

whatever the [ __ ] you want to be but

make sure you [ __ ] if you're fat

[ __ ] go go be fat go be real

[ __ ] fat but let's be real nobody

wants to be fat nobody does that's why I

said it man nobody does that's not true

they will pretend I'm fine with it but

if I could give you a button that you

could push and boink be skinny all of a

sudden you'd have this incredible body

take everybody would push that button

but what happens is man we get in this

world where it gets hard yeah

and so the harder it is the more you

start to push

back and the more you push back and then

it's not right for people to talk about

it's not right for like let's say you

are fat I was fat that's why I talk

about it go ahead and say something

[ __ ] I was fat too and it was

hard as [ __ ] every [ __ ] day to get up

I know what it feels like when you roll

your fat ass out of bed and all you want

is some [ __ ] damn cinnamon buns and

[ __ ] and [ __ ] CH chocolate milkshakes

I I know what it is I know exactly what

it is but I can't want it more than you

and so many people just want it the easy

way it I'm sorry man it's not so what

they start to do is they build this

Narrative of it's okay when the

narrative should be you need to [ __ ]

work harder you need to [ __ ]

discipline your mind better we need to

help people more than just saying it's

okay it's okay that you're not [ __ ]

willing to [ __ ] help yourself out

that's not not okay it's not okay it's

not acceptable even though it's your

life if that's if if that's acceptable

that's unacceptable and there's a lot of

people in this world me included that if

I accepted that I wouldn't be anywhere

so yeah a lot of people just [ __ ]

they they start creating a narrative

about themselves that make it okay the

ultimate get out jail free card and now

the world is set up to have so many gel

free cards everything is okay and you

can't say a [ __ ] thing about it

this is what it's interesting though is

that when you're talking about how you

had to come to this realization that

You' become a part-time Savage this is

recently yeah that's uh you're looking at

at 200

200

no 2018 yeah yeah 2018 not that long ago

no [ __ ] no yeah so even though you've

been through all those things and you

have all this information in your head

it's like there's no rest no you never

get a chance and if you do take a little

time and start enjoying it all of a

sudden that General in the back of your

head is like hey hey look what you're

doing exactly you're being a little

[ __ ] and so in your mind you had gotten

soft oh 100% And my softness was still

two days so if you look in there two a

days was you being soft my part-time

Savage was me running like 50 miles a

week me [ __ ] not you know because

what what I used to do and what I do now

is I got to a point I be running I was

like okay man we could do 10 miles today

I get I get to 10 miles like oh no

[ __ ] that [ __ ] demon that I

let out every [ __ ] morning that walks

the streets at night he comes say no

[ __ ] not today man there's somebody out

there that you don't know have never

[ __ ] met in your entire life that is

doing 12 13 14 going to do another one

and when you meet

him you ain't gonna be [ __ ] ready so

goggin kept on running so you talk about

that and uh you talk about how cam came

to visit you in Vegas and gave you a

spot check oh yeah oh yeah I'm always

ready for a [ __ ] like cam I'm

always ready for a mother like cam so

out of nowhere dude this guy calls me

literally and this is one thing about

life this is why you always must be

ready always be ready never get ready

people go oh hey what do you training

for David I ain't training for [ __ ] when

something pops up I'll be [ __ ] ready

so when Cam Pop the [ __ ] up and cam

calls hey man I'm going to be in uh Las

Vegas you want to go for a

run sure do sure do brother sure do

while the Run sucked I was ready well

you guys were doing like six minute

miles for like 26 miles it was Brut it

was 20 miles and Jennifer was with us

and so Jennifer can run her [ __ ] ass

off she's fast as [ __ ] so we went out

but she's not a six-minute mile Runner

so we went out for the first first 10

and Jennifer is with us she was with us

for the first seven she turned around I

think she did like 15 miles so me and

Cam went out after we left Jennifer she

went back for another three to go out

and get 10 and come back 10 but my whole

idea was I know the course [ __ ] I'm

about to drop your [ __ ] ass

[ __ ] so we go out cause because

going out is a little bit um as old I

think it was a little bit uphill no a

little bit downhill a little bit

downhill so a little bit downhill so we

turn around 10 Mile Mark come back and I

could tell Cam was hurting boy but Cam's

a prideful [ __ ] dude prideful

[ __ ] love that dude so we get to

about mile 16 17 and I could tell now he

kind of comes off my shoulder slightly

and I'm like oh [ __ ] in the armor I

feel it you know you eyes kind looking

at you know out you know out of your

prip vision but I'm like this is a

prideful [ __ ] man and keep on

going man holding sixes we gets about

mile 18 I look Cam's right back on the

shoulder I just smiled I said you are

exactly who the [ __ ] I thought you were

a [ __ ] and so we went out tested

each other man good day went to the gym

worked out hard went and got some steak

same day same oh we [ __ ] worked it

out dude whenever meet him together you

can guarantee it's G to be two people

that love each other but are waiting for

the other [ __ ] to break

100% dude it's like this thing in the

back of her head okay maybe this will

break them maybe this will break him so

we haven't broken each other yet but I'm

sure the day will come so so you run 20

miles and then you lift weights but see

lifting weights people like people don't

get it man it's not like lifting weights

it's like you know we go and do like so

many reps like people go oh you're only

doing um was like 90 some pounds on the

incline [ __ ] do five sets of 2

five with a super set of push-ups super

set of curls super set of pull-ups super

set of triceps super set of what the

[ __ ] else was I forget it's a super set

man so we're going through lifting

lightweight but for massive massive

amounts of reps and so you're like

totally swollen and like it's just the

some some of the best workouts in the

world between me and him some of the

best workouts in the world man and then

you had steak and then we had steak

that's right then and then I treat can

to a steak right and that's a mental aid

station mental oh yes mental Aid

stations baby I think one of the most

important parts about the way you

express yourself in your books is that

you do talk about your weaknesses and

you you do talk about your past and how

you started off on this journey and you

talk about how there are those moments

that you doubt oh yeah and you but you

still go oh yeah sometimes like you know

I call it uh you got call an audible you

know the line of scrimmage man like some

of the great

quarterbacks they'll be at the line of

scrimmage and they'll look at the

defense the defense is oh [ __ ] defense is Shifting then he calling audible in

is Shifting then he calling audible in my mind a lot of times man I'm like it

my mind a lot of times man I'm like it doesn't mean I quit I don't quit you

doesn't mean I quit I don't quit you know I may not make it the first time

know I may not make it the first time but I'll come back I gota call an

but I'll come back I gota call an audible I gotta [ __ ] I gotta I gotta

audible I gotta [ __ ] I gotta I gotta [ __ ] get my head back in the game I

[ __ ] get my head back in the game I gotta I gotta figure this [ __ ] out it

gotta I gotta figure this [ __ ] out it doesn't mean you leave it means you

doesn't mean you leave it means you study it more it means you study it more

study it more it means you study it more and and whenever I feel at something

and and whenever I feel at something people I say man how do you handle

people I say man how do you handle failure man I fail a lot dude I fail all

failure man I fail a lot dude I fail all the [ __ ] time they go how do you

the [ __ ] time they go how do you handle it what I'm trying to do and this

handle it what I'm trying to do and this isn't being arrogant man I I it's being

isn't being arrogant man I I it's being real not many people are trying to do so

real not many people are trying to do so there's not many people that who who can

there's not many people that who who can even open their [ __ ] mouth and

even open their [ __ ] mouth and criticize me when I do fail because I'm

criticize me when I do fail because I'm on I'm I'm I'm trying to do [ __ ] man

on I'm I'm I'm trying to do [ __ ] man that many people aren't trying to do but

that many people aren't trying to do but I don't look at failure as failure I

I don't look at failure as failure I look at failure as your first second

look at failure as your first second third fourth fifth attempt I look at

third fourth fifth attempt I look at them as attempts I don't look at

them as attempts I don't look at anything as failure because when you're

anything as failure because when you're willing to try to do some not trying is

willing to try to do some not trying is failure that's that's and that's not

failure that's that's and that's not some after school special [ __ ] but when

some after school special [ __ ] but when you're able to go out there there there

you're able to go out there there there is no failure it's attempts because when

is no failure it's attempts because when you're trying to do something that's

you're trying to do something that's bigger than you whatever you are whoever

bigger than you whatever you are whoever you are if if if you're paralyzed you

you are if if if you're paralyzed you trying to walk one step and you didn't

trying to walk one step and you didn't you didn't fail [ __ ] that was

you didn't fail [ __ ] that was your first attempt if that's your

your first attempt if that's your biggest thing that's how your mindset

biggest thing that's how your mindset needs to go into everything so I don't

needs to go into everything so I don't look at it as failure is a big word like

look at it as failure is a big word like that gets people down and [ __ ] we give

that gets people down and [ __ ] we give so much power to words I don't I take

so much power to words I don't I take the power right away I didn't feel [ __ ]

the power right away I didn't feel [ __ ] do you ever have conversations with Cam

do you ever have conversations with Cam about

about mindset we no we we we really don't go

mindset we no we we we really don't go there too much at all about mindset like

there too much at all about mindset like whenever we get together it's really

whenever we get together it's really about breaking the [ __ ] down

about breaking the [ __ ] down like it's like it's like but wouldn't

like it's like it's like but wouldn't you be interested though in how he

you be interested though in how he approach because I don't know if

approach because I don't know if everybody shares your approach I know

everybody shares your approach I know there's not very many people like you

there's not very many people like you right cam is one of them right so like

right cam is one of them right so like how many of them are like you and how

how many of them are like you and how many of them have that sort of similar

many of them have that sort of similar approach and how many of them are

approach and how many of them are willing to discuss their own demons

willing to discuss their own demons because a lot of people that are like

because a lot of people that are like super endurance athletes or very hard

super endurance athletes or very hard people they don't ever want to even

people they don't ever want to even discuss the weakness they don't want to

discuss the weakness they don't want to shine any light on it no people hate

shine any light on it no people hate that yeah people hate it man and I love

that yeah people hate it man and I love it and the re hate it to me this is just

it and the re hate it to me this is just my own theory is because you haven't

my own theory is because you haven't beat

beat it that's why people go man why are you

it that's why people go man why are you so open and vulnerable I'll tell you

so open and vulnerable I'll tell you everything I lied about everything I

everything I lied about everything I [ __ ] up with every I'll tell you

[ __ ] up with every I'll tell you everything I am an open [ __ ] book I

everything I am an open [ __ ] book I don't give a [ __ ] the only reason why I

don't give a [ __ ] the only reason why I don't give a [ __ ] anymore is because I

don't give a [ __ ] anymore is because I overcame it and I beat it so I'm will to

overcame it and I beat it so I'm will to talk about it why most people aren't

talk about it why most people aren't willing to go to that darkness and that

willing to go to that darkness and that vulnerability is because they're still

vulnerability is because they're still dealing with it

dealing with it when people who have overcome it they're

when people who have overcome it they're open [ __ ] book bro because they're

open [ __ ] book bro because they're proud they're [ __ ] proud that's why I

proud they're [ __ ] proud that's why I speak man man why are you always yelling

speak man man why are you always yelling guys [ __ ] you this how I talk [ __ ] cuz

guys [ __ ] you this how I talk [ __ ] cuz I'm proud motherfu you know what I'm

I'm proud motherfu you know what I'm saying I'm a proud [ __ ] man it's

saying I'm a proud [ __ ] man it's not proud like look at me it's like

not proud like look at me it's like [ __ ] I know where I [ __ ] came

[ __ ] I know where I [ __ ] came from [ __ ] I shouldn't be here right now

from [ __ ] I shouldn't be here right now talking to you shouldn't be talking to

talking to you shouldn't be talking to you [ __ ] I shouldn't be here I

you [ __ ] I shouldn't be here I us a fat sloppy [ __ ] I'm proud

us a fat sloppy [ __ ] I'm proud so I'm able to tell you I was [ __ ] up

so I'm able to tell you I was [ __ ] up many people can't you know that's a

many people can't you know that's a common thing that people say when I

common thing that people say when I interview them after fights like I'm not

interview them after fights like I'm not supposed to be here this is not supposed

supposed to be here this is not supposed to happen to me I not there's a common

to happen to me I not there's a common thing when I've had conversations with

thing when I've had conversations with people and they you know they've won a

people and they you know they've won a big fight they've had this big event

big fight they've had this big event right they they say I wasn't supposed to

right they they say I wasn't supposed to be here right statistically like Chris

be here right statistically like Chris Gutierrez just said that uh last UFC

Gutierrez just said that uh last UFC fight when I interviewed him he like I'm

fight when I interviewed him he like I'm not supposed to be here right probably

not supposed to be here right probably because they come from a bad place

because they come from a bad place exactly you know they and when you're in

exactly you know they and when you're in a bad especially when you're young you

a bad especially when you're young you know redevelop

know redevelop self-esteem you know by the age of seven

self-esteem you know by the age of seven if you're if if if you're not good by

if you're if if if you're not good by the age of seven or eight years old you

the age of seven or eight years old you have a good chance of being [ __ ] the

have a good chance of being [ __ ] the rest of your life yeah so if your

rest of your life yeah so if your parents or or you came up wrong and then

parents or or you came up wrong and then seven or eight if you don't have the

seven or eight if you don't have the self-esteem but you [ __ ] grind you're

self-esteem but you [ __ ] grind you're like I want to be better when you get to

like I want to be better when you get to that

that UFC Championship or you get to where

UFC Championship or you get to where where I got or where I

where I got or where I am it's almost like you can't believe

am it's almost like you can't believe the journey like I talked about in that

the journey like I talked about in that [ __ ] VFW and I'm in the first chapter

[ __ ] VFW and I'm in the first chapter of that book man I'm sitting in that

of that book man I'm sitting in that audience all those [ __ ] people and

audience all those [ __ ] people and I'm about to get the you know

I'm about to get the you know americanism award and I was grinding so

americanism award and I was grinding so hard I never took time to reflect in my

hard I never took time to reflect in my life and this was like time to reflect

life and this was like time to reflect and I was all kind of [ __ ] up I got on

and I was all kind of [ __ ] up I got on stage man just [ __ ] cried for like 59

stage man just [ __ ] cried for like 59 seconds

seconds and it was such an emotional moment for

and it was such an emotional moment for me that I [ __ ] that I [ __ ] did

me that I [ __ ] that I [ __ ] did what I did and I I overcame and it was

what I did and I I overcame and it was it was alone man you know a lot of

it was alone man you know a lot of people have [ __ ] like teammates and

people have [ __ ] like teammates and [ __ ] like you know family push my my

[ __ ] like you know family push my my mom was struggling bro she was strug so

mom was struggling bro she was strug so it was like me and my mom and so it's a

it was like me and my mom and so it's a lot of just me so when you're waking up

lot of just me so when you're waking up every morning by yourself and you're

every morning by yourself and you're [ __ ] getting after by yourself and

[ __ ] getting after by yourself and and it's the it's the hidden work people

and it's the it's the hidden work people see one minute you know video of me

see one minute you know video of me running and [ __ ] like and like these

running and [ __ ] like and like these Fighters you know they they see during

Fighters you know they they see during the fight or after the fight they don't

the fight or after the fight they don't see these [ __ ] man what they

see these [ __ ] man what they deal with every [ __ ] day I'm not good

deal with every [ __ ] day I'm not good enough I'm not good enough I shouldn't

enough I'm not good enough I shouldn't be here I shouldn't be here because

be here I shouldn't be here because every day even though they're [ __ ]

every day even though they're [ __ ] the best in the world that little

the best in the world that little [ __ ] at seven or eight years old

[ __ ] at seven or eight years old is still in there saying oh man we we

is still in there saying oh man we we don't have so we're not good enough

don't have so we're not good enough we're not we shouldn't be here so you're

we're not we shouldn't be here so you're always fighting that [ __ ] even

always fighting that [ __ ] even though you beat it you never truly beat

though you beat it you never truly beat it so when they get on stage and talking

it so when they get on stage and talking to Joe Rogan it's it's a it's not even

to Joe Rogan it's it's a it's not even real it's not even real all those

real it's not even real all those mornings that you didn't want to [ __ ]

mornings that you didn't want to [ __ ] get up and and I look at it as like a

get up and and I look at it as like a [ __ ] like a rock and you find this

[ __ ] like a rock and you find this [ __ ] rock and that rock is you and

[ __ ] rock and that rock is you and every day you [ __ ] fight not wanting

every day you [ __ ] fight not wanting to get up and you do anyway you chip

to get up and you do anyway you chip another piece off that [ __ ] rock and

another piece off that [ __ ] rock and every day you [ __ ] eat the right

every day you [ __ ] eat the right foods and every day you go to train you

foods and every day you go to train you train harder and harder and harder and

train harder and harder and harder and harder and you get up earlier and all

harder and you get up earlier and all these things you do to start forming

these things you do to start forming yourself you're chipping another [ __ ]

yourself you're chipping another [ __ ] piece of that rock up before you know it

piece of that rock up before you know it you have this beautiful [ __ ] piece of

you have this beautiful [ __ ] piece of of of of artwork that that you built but

of of of artwork that that you built but people don't and then once you get there

people don't and then once you get there you see it and it becomes real like oh

you see it and it becomes real like oh my God I [ __ ] did this [ __ ] and so

my God I [ __ ] did this [ __ ] and so like the [ __ ] Journey becomes so real

like the [ __ ] Journey becomes so real then but so many people aren't willing

then but so many people aren't willing to [ __ ] chip away at that stone that

to [ __ ] chip away at that stone that is them to start chipping off those

is them to start chipping off those [ __ ] rough edges that's the fear the

[ __ ] rough edges that's the fear the fear is never reach ing your potential

fear is never reach ing your potential that's it that always falling short

that's it that always falling short always quitting before you're done

always quitting before you're done always procrastinating always not doing

always procrastinating always not doing the right thing and then one day you're

the right thing and then one day you're an old man yep and you look back and go

an old man yep and you look back and go God I could have been great yep I could

God I could have been great yep I could have been great I never forget one time

have been great I never forget one time I was running by a graveyard and I was

I was running by a graveyard and I was [ __ ] just trying to become I was fat

[ __ ] just trying to become I was fat and I ran by a graveyard and I looked

and I ran by a graveyard and I looked out there and I have all these

out there and I have all these epiphanies man I have all these [ __ ]

epiphanies man I have all these [ __ ] moments of like

moments of like of it's crazy man of of this thought I'm

of it's crazy man of of this thought I'm always by myself I'm always in deep

always by myself I'm always in deep [ __ ] thought about how to be better I

[ __ ] thought about how to be better I look out there I'm like man I wonder how

look out there I'm like man I wonder how many of you [ __ ] in there

many of you [ __ ] in there [ __ ] just are so upset with how you

[ __ ] just are so upset with how you lived your life and [ __ ] just regret

lived your life and [ __ ] just regret how you lived it and I'm running at 300

how you lived it and I'm running at 300 pound man thinking

pound man thinking man don't [ __ ] die like this bro

man don't [ __ ] die like this bro don't die like this so people wonder

don't die like this so people wonder where this [ __ ] comes from from

where this [ __ ] comes from from me it comes from such deep thought of

me it comes from such deep thought of trying to see what this is all about

trying to see what this is all about what is this life all about what am I

what is this life all about what am I all about why am I here you know I had

all about why am I here you know I had to I had to find purpose

to I had to find purpose and my suffering it had a purpose it had

and my suffering it had a purpose it had a [ __ ]

a [ __ ] purpose do you talk to other people that

purpose do you talk to other people that are like you and try to understand if

are like you and try to understand if they're going through the same thing are

they're going through the same thing are they're trying to gather knowledge as

they're trying to gather knowledge as well are they just doing it because

well are they just doing it because they're addicted to Runner's High are

they're addicted to Runner's High are they doing it because they enjoy the

they doing it because they enjoy the challenge like how many people do you

challenge like how many people do you talk to that are like you I've never

talk to that are like you I've never talked to anyone that and most people

talked to anyone that and most people don't even believe what I say half the

don't even believe what I say half the time that I I I do it to [ __ ] gain

time that I I I do it to [ __ ] gain knowledge and all that [ __ ] I haven't

knowledge and all that [ __ ] I haven't met one that goes out there people

met one that goes out there people really enjoy a lot of the [ __ ] that they

really enjoy a lot of the [ __ ] that they do like like they I don't know many

do like like they I don't know many people can go out and run 240 miles at

people can go out and run 240 miles at one time if you don't enjoy

one time if you don't enjoy it if if you just don't don't really

it if if you just don't don't really enjoy it so you know I I

enjoy it so you know I I had many people build confidence

had many people build confidence different ways and they build belief in

different ways and they build belief in different ways coming from where I came

different ways coming from where I came from I didn't have any belief in myself

from I didn't have any belief in myself so some people can go read a book and

so some people can go read a book and get belief some people can go take a

get belief some people can go take a yoga class have good parents I had to

yoga class have good parents I had to put myself some where I came from was so

put myself some where I came from was so far down underneath like soil that I had

far down underneath like soil that I had to build belief by truly ingraining it

to build belief by truly ingraining it in my brain so the things I do I'm

in my brain so the things I do I'm always every day building belief and my

always every day building belief and my belief had to be where it is because I

belief had to be where it is because I was so far down so it may take a 200

was so far down so it may take a 200 mile run for me it may take a 100 mile

mile run for me it may take a 100 mile run it may take late nights in the gym

run it may take late nights in the gym but without belief you have nothing and

but without belief you have nothing and I realized that when I was a young kid I

I realized that when I was a young kid I have no belief I have to build it and a

have no belief I have to build it and a fivemile run didn't do it I had to push

fivemile run didn't do it I had to push myself to such extremes because I came

myself to such extremes because I came from people judge me by not knowing

from people judge me by not knowing where I came

where I came from so unless you're me and you came

from so unless you're me and you came from where I came from I guarantee you

from where I came from I guarantee you would have made it out guarantee it and

would have made it out guarantee it and I knew that so my belief comes from

I knew that so my belief comes from going I had to build it and that's how I

going I had to build it and that's how I build it man I build it by the things I

build it man I build it by the things I do it's so painful reading about your

do it's so painful reading about your childhood and the experiences with your

childhood and the experiences with your father and then when you went

father and then when you went back and met your father as an adult and

back and met your father as an adult and got with them and watched him get drunk

got with them and watched him get drunk and then watch him get belligerent and

and then watch him get belligerent and and experience it all over

and experience it all over again and then think about what happened

again and then think about what happened to him to make him who he is yeah that

to him to make him who he is yeah that [ __ ] me up dude but I had to go

[ __ ] me up dude but I had to go like I realized I was [ __ ] I was I was

like I realized I was [ __ ] I was I was just a sorry [ __ ] you know I

just a sorry [ __ ] you know I quit peir rescue I spray the water every

quit peir rescue I spray the water every time [ __ ] got hard like I said I didn't

time [ __ ] got hard like I said I didn't have talent you know I I [ __ ] didn't

have talent you know I I [ __ ] didn't have [ __ ] and whenever [ __ ] got hard for

have [ __ ] and whenever [ __ ] got hard for me I thought I was on my way out and and

me I thought I was on my way out and and I got suck back in I become I become a

I got suck back in I become I become a loser again real quick and I see him all

loser again real quick and I see him all the time there's a lot of [ __ ] losers

the time there's a lot of [ __ ] losers out here that won't face it I like oh

out here that won't face it I like oh man gota go back and visit this

man gota go back and visit this [ __ ] I I haven't seen my dad in

[ __ ] I I haven't seen my dad in [ __ ] years man years but I knew where

[ __ ] years man years but I knew where I came from I knew where my mindset came

I came from I knew where my mindset came from I knew where my demons were so my

from I knew where my demons were so my whole idea when I went back to see my

whole idea when I went back to see my dad was I was hoping that I could just

dad was I was hoping that I could just [ __ ] call myself a losion it's

[ __ ] call myself a losion it's because of you Dad so I was hoping to go

because of you Dad so I was hoping to go back and get the confirmation that I

back and get the confirmation that I always wanted that wasn't my fault that

always wanted that wasn't my fault that voice in my head was so loud it's not

voice in my head was so loud it's not your fault David it's not your fault you

your fault David it's not your fault you can't read and write it's not your fault

can't read and write it's not your fault that people call you [ __ ] [ __ ] it's

that people call you [ __ ] [ __ ] it's not your fault it's not your fault this

not your fault it's not your fault this not your fault that it's not your fault

not your fault that it's not your fault that you're fat it's not your fault that

that you're fat it's not your fault that you're that that you quit [ __ ] it's not

you're that that you quit [ __ ] it's not your fault so so I was like okay man I'm

your fault so so I was like okay man I'm going go back visit this [ __ ] so

going go back visit this [ __ ] so I can just squash it and I can just go

I can just squash it and I can just go on and be a [ __ ] loser cuz you [ __ ]

on and be a [ __ ] loser cuz you [ __ ] me up and when I got there went drove to

me up and when I got there went drove to Buffalo saw my dad same routine as it

Buffalo saw my dad same routine as it was when I was 8 years old man walked in

was when I was 8 years old man walked in what's up went to Skate Land I sat on

what's up went to Skate Land I sat on that [ __ ] couch that he would cheat

that [ __ ] couch that he would cheat on my mom with I sat on that couch in

on my mom with I sat on that couch in the corner and I was like God what the

the corner and I was like God what the [ __ ] man and it was a whole normal day

[ __ ] man and it was a whole normal day and the more I was around him he started

and the more I was around him he started now he started getting drunk and and I

now he started getting drunk and and I won't go through the whole thing but I

won't go through the whole thing but I started seeing man I started having a

started seeing man I started having a convers I always have these

convers I always have these conversations with myself like man this

conversations with myself like man this [ __ ] he came from

[ __ ] he came from Hell his dad would put him in front of a

Hell his dad would put him in front of a furnace and like if he moved he get

furnace and like if he moved he get burnt so when when when my dad got

burnt so when when when my dad got beat um his dad would put him from the

beat um his dad would put him from the furnace and if he would have move he'd

furnace and if he would have move he'd [ __ ] get burnt up so my dad's had to

[ __ ] get burnt up so my dad's had to sit there and take it so he never dealt

sit there and take it so he never dealt with [ __ ] demons so his demons became

with [ __ ] demons so his demons became mine his demons became mine

mine his demons became mine [ __ ] think you die and and and

[ __ ] think you die and and and the demon goes with you man don't be a

the demon goes with you man don't be a [ __ ] fool bro you know like that's

[ __ ] fool bro you know like that's why I'm proud of myself I took his

why I'm proud of myself I took his demons and mine and people are always

demons and mine and people are always looking for some great [ __ ] apology

looking for some great [ __ ] apology you know oh my God like um you know my

you know oh my God like um you know my my dad need to say sorry people who

my dad need to say sorry people who [ __ ] called you out your name or

[ __ ] called you out your name or nobody couldn't come back and say sorry

nobody couldn't come back and say sorry to you you [ __ ] ain't nobody

to you you [ __ ] ain't nobody saying [ __ ] to you you better a [ __ ]

saying [ __ ] to you you better a [ __ ] man the [ __ ] up so I looked at him he

man the [ __ ] up so I looked at him he didn't face his demons I'm going to face

didn't face his demons I'm going to face mine so on that drive back home that's

mine so on that drive back home that's what I started doing you know what's one

what I started doing you know what's one of the most most [ __ ] up things that

of the most most [ __ ] up things that I've learned over time is that almost

I've learned over time is that almost all like truly exceptional and mentally

all like truly exceptional and mentally strong people have been through hell

strong people have been through hell it's it's very few that put themselves

it's it's very few that put themselves through hell when life is great it's

through hell when life is great it's just not usually the case right and to

just not usually the case right and to to achieve the the the standards that

to achieve the the the standards that you've achieved to achieve the to become

you've achieved to achieve the to become the person that you are today and to

the person that you are today and to have the influence that you have this

have the influence that you have this Global influence on people do you how

Global influence on people do you how many people have laced up their shoes

many people have laced up their shoes because they heard your voice how many

because they heard your voice how many people have just moved into action and

people have just moved into action and changed their life because they've heard

changed their life because they've heard you talk or seen you talk it's it's

you talk or seen you talk it's it's there's a thing that happened and it

there's a thing that happened and it happened out of hell and I don't think

happened out of hell and I don't think it ever happens without that it's like

it ever happens without that it's like you had to go through that in order to

you had to go through that in order to empower all these other people in order

empower all these other people in order to become who you are and that as an

to become who you are and that as an example and then your words as an

example and then your words as an example and your describing of it and

example and your describing of it and then your description of your own

then your description of your own shortcomings and failures that give

shortcomings and failures that give people confidence that you it's not like

people confidence that you it's not like you're this superhuman person that is

you're this superhuman person that is like a character in a book right now

like a character in a book right now you're a real human being who has real

you're a real human being who has real insecurities and real failur in your

insecurities and real failur in your past and and and real demons and you

past and and and real demons and you figured out a way to harness that energy

figured out a way to harness that energy and just keep going forward yep and not

and just keep going forward yep and not quit that's it that's it I mean there

quit that's it that's it I mean there there are no timeouts you know people

there are no timeouts you know people like I you know there's a part in the

like I you know there's a part in the book that I talk about a prisoner mind

book that I talk about a prisoner mind and that's about my

and that's about my mother and you know she just um that's I

mother and you know she just um that's I would never listen to that part again in

would never listen to that part again in that book that was hard just so you know

that book that was hard just so you know man like I will never again listen to

man like I will never again listen to that [ __ ] your mother's very very very

that [ __ ] your mother's very very very brave oh to be able to talk like that

brave oh to be able to talk like that yeah to be able

yeah to be able to to be able to talk like that um to

to to be able to talk like that um to the world and

the world and to to

to to just she lost her life she lost this

just she lost her life she lost this giant chunk of her life with this

giant chunk of her life with this abusive

abusive man and to hear her talking about him

man and to hear her talking about him hitting her and what it was like and the

hitting her and what it was like and the fact that she never came from a family

fact that she never came from a family that hit her she had never been hit

that hit her she had never been hit before never and to to to have her

before never and to to to have her express it the way she did so honestly

express it the way she did so honestly and

and openly very powerful and the whole time

openly very powerful and the whole time she's talking man she's on the cusp of

she's talking man she's on the cusp of like losing it like I'm in the other

like losing it like I'm in the other room so I'm I'm interviewing her and I'm

room so I'm I'm interviewing her and I'm hearing this [ __ ] so I I knew a lot

hearing this [ __ ] so I I knew a lot about it obviously I lived it and that's

about it obviously I lived it and that's what [ __ ] me up the most man when you

what [ __ ] me up the most man when you see like I said I wasn't a smart kid

see like I said I wasn't a smart kid growing up but who whatever made me

growing up but who whatever made me whatever the [ __ ] made me I'm so [ __ ]

whatever the [ __ ] made me I'm so [ __ ] my mind is sharp man like

my mind is sharp man like it's it's crazy like I could I was so

it's it's crazy like I could I was so aware of so much [ __ ] I was so bright in

aware of so much [ __ ] I was so bright in that way and to see your mom go through

that way and to see your mom go through that [ __ ] as that young kid and like I

that [ __ ] as that young kid and like I was going through it and she was going

was going through it and she was going through right beside me like when I got

through right beside me like when I got my ass beat she got her ass beat it was

my ass beat she got her ass beat it was it's [ __ ] up man like you you you just

it's [ __ ] up man like you you you just can't you know people you know people

can't you know people you know people like to judge who you are man why you

like to judge who you are man why you cuss so much man my life wasn't [ __ ]

cuss so much man my life wasn't [ __ ] PG

PG [ __ ] like you know you can't

[ __ ] like you know you can't just turn who the [ __ ] you are off when

just turn who the [ __ ] you are off when you see your mom going that kind of [ __ ]

you see your mom going that kind of [ __ ] and then I'm coming to her defense at

and then I'm coming to her defense at seven or eight years old and she's

seven or eight years old and she's getting her [ __ ] ass beat by a 220 lb

getting her [ __ ] ass beat by a 220 lb man and I'm [ __ ] some little kid know

man and I'm [ __ ] some little kid know what kind of Courage it takes to Muster

what kind of Courage it takes to Muster that up to go help her out and to see

that up to go help her out and to see her [ __ ] up like that and the time she

her [ __ ] up like that and the time she would cry and be bruised up and [ __ ] it

would cry and be bruised up and [ __ ] it was just it was a it was a [ __ ]

was just it was a it was a [ __ ] nightmare and then hear her talk about

nightmare and then hear her talk about it like the part where my dad says I

it like the part where my dad says I brought this belt from Texas this belt

brought this belt from Texas this belt came all the way from Texas whip your

came all the way from Texas whip your ass with I it it was like what the like

ass with I it it was like what the like where am I at right now cuz I knew no

where am I at right now cuz I knew no other households right were [ __ ]

other households right were [ __ ] living like this man I and and I knew it

living like this man I and and I knew it I knew it and then she was shut off she

I knew it and then she was shut off she was shut off from the world and when I

was shut off from the world and when I wrote can't hurt me she

wrote can't hurt me she refused she said [ __ ] don't put my [ __ ]

refused she said [ __ ] don't put my [ __ ] in there she was so embarrassed you know

in there she was so embarrassed you know like like I put in there man she [ __ ]

like like I put in there man she [ __ ] married a [ __ ]

married a [ __ ] prisoner so my mom was so [ __ ] up she

prisoner so my mom was so [ __ ] up she was so [ __ ] up by this [ __ ] and people

was so [ __ ] up by this [ __ ] and people go people go man you're a mama's boy

go people go man you're a mama's boy [ __ ] I know mama's boy

[ __ ] I know mama's boy man see your mom go through this [ __ ]

man see your mom go through this [ __ ] you're gonna make sure she's taken care

you're gonna make sure she's taken care of

of so she came out and one of the people

so she came out and one of the people that you know she she got married a few

that you know she she got married a few times CU she was looking for something

times CU she was looking for something that my dad stripped from her and she

that my dad stripped from her and she was out she was gone for years she just

was out she was gone for years she just now coming back she's 70s she's 75 and

now coming back she's 70s she's 75 and but in that book I talk about man she's

but in that book I talk about man she's like don't don't put that you know and

like don't don't put that you know and can't hurt me but now she's getting

can't hurt me but now she's getting better and she's allowing me more to

better and she's allowing me more to talk more about my life which was also

talk more about my life which was also some of her life the part about marrying

some of her life the part about marrying a prisoner is so crazy dude it was a

a prisoner is so crazy dude it was a [ __ ] but not just a prisoner but a

[ __ ] but not just a prisoner but a prisoner who killed a woman dude

prisoner who killed a woman dude this so it was so [ __ ] up it's hard

this so it was so [ __ ] up it's hard for me to talk about because it's almost

for me to talk about because it's almost like it I was I had a front row seat at

like it I was I had a front row seat at a horror show

a horror show so when my mom left my dad she went to

so when my mom left my dad she went to wilmouth and he got murdered I talk

wilmouth and he got murdered I talk about that can't hurt me he got murdered

about that can't hurt me he got murdered so that took her all the way over the

so that took her all the way over the edge I mean he got shot [ __ ] six

edge I mean he got shot [ __ ] six times and the last shot this

times and the last shot this [ __ ] got right up up on his head

[ __ ] got right up up on his head and made sure he was dead like forehead

and made sure he was dead like forehead shot and so she didn't

shot and so she didn't cry she didn't cry she's loost it was

cry she didn't cry she's loost it was over she a whole another person became

over she a whole another person became and so I'm [ __ ] now like 12 13 14

and so I'm [ __ ] now like 12 13 14 what the [ __ ] I was I'm watching this

what the [ __ ] I was I'm watching this woman every day front row seat just

woman every day front row seat just watching her just go through life [ __ ]

watching her just go through life [ __ ] up and then I'm about to go in the

up and then I'm about to go in the military into the Air

military into the Air Force and like two years out man you

Force and like two years out man you know I'm like a sophomore in high school

know I'm like a sophomore in high school phone ringing every night she tell me

phone ringing every night she tell me don't get on the phone don't get on the

don't get on the phone don't get on the phone don't get on the phone 15 minute

phone don't get on the phone 15 minute calls hang up 15minute call hang up

calls hang up 15minute call hang up 15minute call hang up what the [ __ ] is

15minute call hang up what the [ __ ] is going on but see the way I was grow like

going on but see the way I was grow like the way I was raised you don't ask your

the way I was raised you don't ask your Mom what's going on it a like now like

Mom what's going on it a like now like conversations and [ __ ] with the parents

conversations and [ __ ] with the parents you shut the [ __ ] up and that's I didn't

you shut the [ __ ] up and that's I didn't ask [ __ ] but I knew something was [ __ ]

ask [ __ ] but I knew something was [ __ ] cuz like 3 four hours a night 15 minute

cuz like 3 four hours a night 15 minute hang up cuz he was in prison this guy

hang up cuz he was in prison this guy was in prison so he only had 15 minutes

was in prison so he only had 15 minutes on the phone they had to put more money

on the phone they had to put more money in it how did she meet him she started

in it how did she meet him she started working so she was always about helping

working so she was always about helping people out but the thing about it

people out but the thing about it was like I was right in front of her and

was like I was right in front of her and needed so much [ __ ]

needed so much [ __ ] help and that it was [ __ ] up for me

help and that it was [ __ ] up for me for a long time but she helped out so

for a long time but she helped out so many people but I guess since I was with

many people but I guess since I was with her through the Journey I just I didn't

her through the Journey I just I didn't count but it's all good man it's what

count but it's all good man it's what life's about you got to understand what

life's about you got to understand what your mom went through so that I can be

your mom went through so that I can be good with it you know like I saw that so

good with it you know like I saw that so I I had to man up a lot more than what

I I had to man up a lot more than what so she saw people needed help so she

so she saw people needed help so she started teaching in the prison so she

started teaching in the prison so she had a full-time job at the at the Paul

had a full-time job at the at the Paul University in Green Castle Indiana and

University in Green Castle Indiana and then she started teaching in a prison

then she started teaching in a prison and she met this prisoner this prisoner

and she met this prisoner this prisoner obviously I don't know slitter or not or

obviously I don't know slitter or not or some [ __ ] like that and you know she

some [ __ ] like that and you know she was looking for anything she was looking

was looking for anything she was looking for anybody that loved her because my

for anybody that loved her because my dad beat the [ __ ] life out of her

dad beat the [ __ ] life out of her and and my dad so my dad wouldn't marry

and and my dad so my dad wouldn't marry my mom but ended up marrying a woman

my mom but ended up marrying a woman um that was tied to like I'm not even

um that was tied to like I'm not even gonna go there I'm not trying to get

gonna go there I'm not trying to get [ __ ] sued and [ __ ] right now man but

[ __ ] sued and [ __ ] right now man but he he married somebody that was [ __ ]

he he married somebody that was [ __ ] up that's [ __ ] up so anyway um she she

up that's [ __ ] up so anyway um she she she met him in prison and um the phone

she met him in prison and um the phone was ringing every night she didn't tell

was ringing every night she didn't tell me about it cuz how you can tell your

me about it cuz how you can tell your son

son hey David I'm I'm I'm I'm in love with

hey David I'm I'm I'm I'm in love with the prisoner so before I go who murdered

the prisoner so before I go who murdered the woman oh no I'm about to get to that

the woman oh no I'm about to get to that brother so I'm [ __ ] now about a week

brother so I'm [ __ ] now about a week out or whatever the [ __ ] was from

out or whatever the [ __ ] was from leaving for boot

leaving for boot camp and she lets me know what's

camp and she lets me know what's up and so I'm about to leave for boot

up and so I'm about to leave for boot camp and I'm so protective of my mom and

camp and I'm so protective of my mom and she lays this on me yeah

she lays this on me yeah um sit down let me have let's have a

um sit down let me have let's have a talk and she never does this [ __ ] man

talk and she never does this [ __ ] man she's like there was nothing ever hidden

she's like there was nothing ever hidden from me that's why I grew up so fast

from me that's why I grew up so fast like that abusive life and what she was

like that abusive life and what she was going through it was front and center

going through it was front and center her her being broke everything this was

her her being broke everything this was the only secret she kept from me she go

the only secret she kept from me she go um those phone calls you know I've been

um those phone calls you know I've been uh seeing someone in

uh seeing someone in prison all right cool whatever but I'm

prison all right cool whatever but I'm thinking what the [ __ ] is this man so

thinking what the [ __ ] is this man so you know I hated I didn't want to ask

you know I hated I didn't want to ask how the [ __ ] did you get to

how the [ __ ] did you get to prison so I'm sitting there I'm sitting

prison so I'm sitting there I'm sitting there I'm sitting there and I'm like

there I'm sitting there and I'm like okay man I got to [ __ ] ask this

okay man I got to [ __ ] ask this [ __ ]

[ __ ] question how the [ __ ] you know what what

question how the [ __ ] you know what what happened you know she's like

happened you know she's like well does one of those things you know

well does one of those things you know cuz she knows it's [ __ ] bad well he

cuz she knows it's [ __ ] bad well he was in the drugs and stuff like that I'm

was in the drugs and stuff like that I'm thinking okay maybe drug dealer

thinking okay maybe drug dealer something like that he was in the drugs

something like that he was in the drugs that's for sure but he literally I don't

that's for sure but he literally I don't know how it went down but he choked a

know how it went down but he choked a woman to

woman to death over some

death over some drugs and I don't know the ins and outs

drugs and I don't know the ins and outs or all this other [ __ ] and

or all this other [ __ ] and um that's who she was going to [ __ ]

um that's who she was going to [ __ ] be with and he was getting out of prison

be with and he was getting out of prison literally in a few weeks after I was

literally in a few weeks after I was going to Air Force boot camp Jes so I'm

going to Air Force boot camp Jes so I'm in [ __ ] Air Force boot camp thinking

in [ __ ] Air Force boot camp thinking about my mom's about to [ __ ] marry a

about my mom's about to [ __ ] marry a [ __ ] dude who got sent to prison

[ __ ] dude who got sent to prison marry him right away too right away

marry him right away too right away so the first time I meet this

so the first time I meet this [ __ ] dude is at my [ __ ] Air

[ __ ] dude is at my [ __ ] Air Force graduation oh Jes my [ __ ] Air

Force graduation oh Jes my [ __ ] Air Force graduation and she was like you

Force graduation and she was like you ain't putting that [ __ ] in can't hurt me

ain't putting that [ __ ] in can't hurt me she was embarrassed about it and then

she was embarrassed about it and then she saw how I went totally like [ __ ]

she saw how I went totally like [ __ ] vulnerable and she was like [ __ ] it go

vulnerable and she was like [ __ ] it go ahead so there's there's so much more to

ahead so there's there's so much more to it but he ended up um uh I think it was

it but he ended up um uh I think it was last year or maybe this year he ow

last year or maybe this year he ow so my mom divorced him obviously after

so my mom divorced him obviously after it it it it didn't work out and she was

it it it it didn't work out and she was telling me a story one time we were

telling me a story one time we were talking about this book she started

talking about this book she started opening more up about the

opening more up about the relationship with this uh with this

relationship with this uh with this prisoner and she said one night they got

prisoner and she said one night they got into a fight you know not not physical

into a fight you know not not physical you know he never hit her like like my

you know he never hit her like like my dad did so many times but he said one

dad did so many times but he said one night she was sleeping and had had her

night she was sleeping and had had her back to him and all she thought about

back to him and all she thought about all [ __ ] night was because she

all [ __ ] night was because she started

started slowly realizing like I'm [ __ ] up like

slowly realizing like I'm [ __ ] up like I just married a [ __ ] guy from prison

I just married a [ __ ] guy from prison that killed somebody and she started

that killed somebody and she started realizing it more and more but she's

realizing it more and more but she's laying in bed and she and she was like

laying in bed and she and she was like is this [ __ ] gonna [ __ ] kill

is this [ __ ] gonna [ __ ] kill me

me tonight and she started telling me these

tonight and she started telling me these [ __ ] stories man and I'm

[ __ ] stories man and I'm like and I'm just like what the [ __ ] man

like and I'm just like what the [ __ ] man like like you know it's it's it was

like like you know it's it's it was tough it was it was it was a tough way

tough it was it was it was a tough way to grow up man it was tough tough way to

to grow up man it was tough tough way to grow up so yeah he ended up um so they

grow up so yeah he ended up um so they got divorced uh I think it work maybe

got divorced uh I think it work maybe two years where the [ __ ] it was whatever

two years where the [ __ ] it was whatever it doesn't matter and then um I think he

it doesn't matter and then um I think he ODed last year he OD last year killed

ODed last year he OD last year killed himself I don't he killed himself he's

himself I don't he killed himself he's OD

OD so the the idea of you going off to boot

so the the idea of you going off to boot camp knowing that your mom's going to be

camp knowing that your mom's going to be alone with this guy getting out of

alone with this guy getting out of prison yeah that [ __ ] must have been

prison yeah that [ __ ] must have been haunting yeah [ __ ] up every night oh my

haunting yeah [ __ ] up every night oh my God every night I'm I'm I'm sitting in

God every night I'm I'm I'm sitting in the [ __ ] in my bunk thinking and then

the [ __ ] in my bunk thinking and then I I I knew the date he was getting out

I I I knew the date he was getting out of prison and like you know you can't

of prison and like you know you can't just get on the phone and call hey Mom

just get on the phone and call hey Mom what's going on you know no you're in

what's going on you know no you're in boot camp you get like every now and

boot camp you get like every now and then they say okay you have like a phone

then they say okay you have like a phone call once a week or some [ __ ] I think

call once a week or some [ __ ] I think every Sunday was a phone

every Sunday was a phone call and I'll never forget when he got

call and I'll never forget when he got to the house man I actually

to the house man I actually got I was [ __ ] not right so I got

got I was [ __ ] not right so I got recycled so a week in boot camp so like

recycled so a week in boot camp so like I [ __ ] I don't know what I [ __ ]

I [ __ ] I don't know what I [ __ ] did something in boot camp and [ __ ]

did something in boot camp and [ __ ] got recycled had like I was sneaking the

got recycled had like I was sneaking the Snickers bars I was just all kind of

Snickers bars I was just all kind of belligerant and [ __ ] I was just out of

belligerant and [ __ ] I was just out of it I I was I was sneaking out and this

it I I was I was sneaking out and this [ __ ] I was just [ __ ] not right I

[ __ ] I was just [ __ ] not right I was wasn't right and so then I um yeah

was wasn't right and so then I um yeah that's it was [ __ ] up it's it's [ __ ]

that's it was [ __ ] up it's it's [ __ ] up what was it like when you met

up what was it like when you met him I try to be supportive cuz that's

him I try to be supportive cuz that's what I always did my mom whatever made

what I always did my mom whatever made her happy I try to that that was my

her happy I try to that that was my [ __ ] number one priority was I I

[ __ ] number one priority was I I never cared about myself never never

never cared about myself never never ever which makes what I do now for

ever which makes what I do now for people I I

people I I understand because I care about people

understand because I care about people even though I'm an introvert I'm an

even though I'm an introvert I'm an introvert because my [ __ ] life

introvert because my [ __ ] life sucked but what I do for people I really

sucked but what I do for people I really do that's why I want to make sure that

do that's why I want to make sure that [ __ ] like that that [ __ ] book and

[ __ ] like that that [ __ ] book and things I do that's why I don't [ __ ]

things I do that's why I don't [ __ ] like why don't you sell [ __ ] why don't

like why don't you sell [ __ ] why don't you always you know why aren't you like

you always you know why aren't you like promoting this and that and no man no I

promoting this and that and no man no I care that you understand that I [ __ ]

care that you understand that I [ __ ] want to see you [ __ ] kill

want to see you [ __ ] kill [ __ ] I want to see you better so you

[ __ ] I want to see you better so you know when I met him I was supportive and

know when I met him I was supportive and I was and I sat back and looked at him

I was and I sat back and looked at him and I wanted to [ __ ] beat this

and I wanted to [ __ ] beat this [ __ ] down so bad because I knew

[ __ ] down so bad because I knew like you're not a good egg bro you're

like you're not a good egg bro you're not a good egg man I'm not saying yeah I

not a good egg man I'm not saying yeah I mean you know I'm not saying prisoners

mean you know I'm not saying prisoners are B

are B they can be re

they can be re rehabilitated but I always had these

rehabilitated but I always had these feelings about people if I get around

feelings about people if I get around you I can [ __ ] I I may not tell you

you I can [ __ ] I I may not tell you but when you grow up the way I grow up

but when you grow up the way I grow up man you have this you have these ways of

man you have this you have these ways of knowing pieces of [ __ ] I became an

knowing pieces of [ __ ] I became an expert in pieces of [ __ ] I used to be

expert in pieces of [ __ ] I used to be one my dad was one so you can [ __ ]

one my dad was one so you can [ __ ] pick him out you can pick out liars and

pick him out you can pick out liars and all kind of K artists from from a mile

all kind of K artists from from a mile away cuz [ __ ] I studied it

away cuz [ __ ] I studied it studied myself I know who you are so you

studied myself I know who you are so you can't come around me bullshitting me man

can't come around me bullshitting me man can't right

can't right so it's just it was horrible it was

so it's just it was horrible it was horrible so you know like the the one

horrible so you know like the the one woman I cared about more than anything

woman I cared about more than anything in the world cuz I saw her hell I'm

in the world cuz I saw her hell I'm looking at this [ __ ] now and now I'm

looking at this [ __ ] now and now I'm have to go to [ __ ] PA rescue school

have to go to [ __ ] PA rescue school and all this other [ __ ] while she's

and all this other [ __ ] while she's [ __ ] with this guy so there are a lot

[ __ ] with this guy so there are a lot of things in my mind that that just made

of things in my mind that that just made hard that I studied I studied my mind

hard that I studied I studied my mind during these times I started and this

during these times I started and this this process to become who am today of

this process to become who am today of learning life and how hard life is

learning life and how hard life is that's why I don't speak about the good

that's why I don't speak about the good times everybody gets so mad why don't

times everybody gets so mad why don't you speak about the good times I don't

you speak about the good times I don't need to help you through those brother I

need to help you through those brother I do not need to help you you don't turn

do not need to help you you don't turn on David Goggins to for the good times

on David Goggins to for the good times you turn on David Goggins when you don't

you turn on David Goggins when you don't feel like doing [ __ ] you're an expert in

feel like doing [ __ ] you're an expert in dark matter dark [ __ ] matter

dark matter dark [ __ ] matter that's what I am so yeah I know it

that's what I am so yeah I know it really well so it wasn't like I wished

really well so it wasn't like I wished for it one of the things that's

for it one of the things that's hilarious in the book is that

hilarious in the book is that you you read all the [ __ ] that people

you you read all the [ __ ] that people write to you all the

write to you all the hate and you record it and then you play

hate and you record it and then you play it back brother I'm G to tell you right

it back brother I'm G to tell you right now man that started honestly when this

now man that started honestly when this [ __ ] seal from SEAL Team

[ __ ] seal from SEAL Team Six came out and started lying his

Six came out and started lying his [ __ ] ass off about me this is an

[ __ ] ass off about me this is an important subject we should talk about

important subject we should talk about this cuz your military career and the

this cuz your military career and the what you've done is always

what you've done is always misrepresented oh yeah even by people

misrepresented oh yeah even by people that should know better oh yeah oh they

that should know better oh yeah oh they know better but what what makes people

know better but what what makes people feel good like when when you become

feel good like when when you become successful when you become successful

successful when you become successful and I had to realize this and this guy

and I had to realize this and this guy made me realize this

made me realize this I had to study them when you become

I had to study them when you become successful especially within a

successful especially within a fraternity like that like this is this

fraternity like that like this is this is a fraternity bro this isn't like a

is a fraternity bro this isn't like a [ __ ] like oh like in the Air Force

[ __ ] like oh like in the Air Force you know it was this is a very different

you know it was this is a very different world so several seals no I'm going to

world so several seals no I'm going to say there's a lot that would like to see

say there's a lot that would like to see me [ __ ] a lot they like to see a lot

me [ __ ] a lot they like to see a lot of people not do well and them do great

of people not do well and them do great yeah and like they all know we eat our

yeah and like they all know we eat our own we eat our own and that's what they

own we eat our own and that's what they all say we eat our own is that all seals

all say we eat our own is that all seals I don't know all seals a lot of seals I

I don't know all seals a lot of seals I can't speak that way I know a few seals

can't speak that way I know a few seals is it just the hyper competitive nature

is it just the hyper competitive nature of the type of people to get involved

of the type of people to get involved yeah it's like you know we have this

yeah it's like you know we have this this uh this this this mcho

this uh this this this mcho stigma that you know like you know we're

stigma that you know like you know we're we're the best of the best we're [ __ ]

we're the best of the best we're [ __ ] we're we're we're the bad [ __ ]

we're we're we're the bad [ __ ] in the world and and I I beg to differ

in the world and and I I beg to differ you know like people go like I've had so

you know like people go like I've had so many people in art like the news

many people in art like the news oh my God they contact me all they want

oh my God they contact me all they want me so bad cuz there's been some things

me so bad cuz there's been some things that came up you know the Navy SE

that came up you know the Navy SE Community um this this guy died this

Community um this this guy died this this kid going through training died and

this kid going through training died and some Navy Seals I don't know the stories

some Navy Seals I don't know the stories they can Google it where the [ __ ] I

they can Google it where the [ __ ] I guess they kill somebody over in Iraq

guess they kill somebody over in Iraq who has some information some [ __ ] so

who has some information some [ __ ] so they always want to get me on so I can

they always want to get me on so I can [ __ ] because they know that I was not a

[ __ ] because they know that I was not a fan of a lot of Navy SEALs and a lot of

fan of a lot of Navy SEALs and a lot of it is to do of with the lies the [ __ ]

it is to do of with the lies the [ __ ] some of the leadership problems some of

some of the leadership problems some of the character issues and I got to see

the character issues and I got to see that a lot when I got out and I'm the

that a lot when I got out and I'm the one to say it I had a lot of problems

one to say it I had a lot of problems myself when I was growing up and it took

myself when I was growing up and it took a long time for me go so I'm not judging

a long time for me go so I'm not judging these people I know where the [ __ ] comes

these people I know where the [ __ ] comes from man the [ __ ] comes from [ __ ] you

from man the [ __ ] comes from [ __ ] you haven't handled so I it doesn't even

haven't handled so I it doesn't even bother me anymore but when I came

bother me anymore but when I came out um in 2018

out um in 2018 this this still from still Team Six he

this this still from still Team Six he had and Jennifer it pissed Jennifer off

had and Jennifer it pissed Jennifer off so [ __ ] bad and I was cool about it

so [ __ ] bad and I was cool about it but this guy started YouTube channels

but this guy started YouTube channels saying that I was dishonestly discharged

saying that I was dishonestly discharged I [ __ ] was kicked out of the SEAL

I [ __ ] was kicked out of the SEAL Teams I um I refused to fight in combat

Teams I um I refused to fight in combat I never went to combat I mean every bit

I never went to combat I mean every bit of it so the reason why in my and can't

of it so the reason why in my and can't hurt me I have my write up of my metal

hurt me I have my write up of my metal from

from Iraq and I wasn't going to put that in

Iraq and I wasn't going to put that in there but Jennifer started getting DMS

there but Jennifer started getting DMS from people saying do you know I'm not

from people saying do you know I'm not I'm not even going to name his name

I'm not even going to name his name that's not who I am dude and I just

that's not who I am dude and I just showed you outside about that one cat

showed you outside about that one cat yeah I'm not gonna name his name either

yeah I'm not gonna name his name either but I'm not going to name his name

but I'm not going to name his name because how does he not know better

because how does he not know better though that's the the the that was one

though that's the the the that was one of the things that people bring up that

of the things that people bring up that you never deployed right yep why would

you never deployed right yep why would they say that why you think Joe think

they say that why you think Joe think about it man think about it see like

about it man think about it see like this the thing but that's something

this the thing but that's something that's easily proven exactly but guess

that's easily proven exactly but guess what this guy had Black Ops literally he

what this guy had Black Ops literally he was he was he had like YouTube channels

was he was he had like YouTube channels dming people because people like at this

dming people because people like at this time I started getting a little bigger I

time I started getting a little bigger I started getting a little more profile

started getting a little more profile and he was coming out of the SEAL Teams

and he was coming out of the SEAL Teams I'm not gonna say his name because I'm

I'm not gonna say his name because I'm not going to try to take food out of his

not going to try to take food out of his mouth and this is one thing I learned

mouth and this is one thing I learned from all of this I had this I was so

from all of this I had this I was so [ __ ] pissed man I was so [ __ ]

[ __ ] pissed man I was so [ __ ] pissed I didn't deploy I mean the

pissed I didn't deploy I mean the [ __ ] lies were insane how many times

[ __ ] lies were insane how many times did you deploy twice one to Guam and one

did you deploy twice one to Guam and one to Iraq and then what they don't talk

to Iraq and then what they don't talk about though is the reason I didn't

about though is the reason I didn't deploy more is I had two heart

deploy more is I had two heart surgeries so I was out of the [ __ ]

surgeries so I was out of the [ __ ] teams for deploying for like three four

teams for deploying for like three four years because the heart surgeries

years because the heart surgeries because when you get a heart Sur you

because when you get a heart Sur you can't go back to deploy you were born

can't go back to deploy you were born with like holes in your heart right with

with like holes in your heart right with a hole in my heart and the first surgery

a hole in my heart and the first surgery it didn't you know it didn't take try to

it didn't you know it didn't take try to get another surgery so that took so much

get another surgery so that took so much time having these heart surgeries so I

time having these heart surgeries so I was in um recruiting at the time so this

was in um recruiting at the time so this kept me in recruiting so this even added

kept me in recruiting so this even added to the whole [ __ ] this added to the

to the whole [ __ ] this added to the whole [ __ ] so they were loving it

whole [ __ ] so they were loving it because right now like I said I wouldn't

because right now like I said I wouldn't like the most famous seal within the

like the most famous seal within the SEAL

SEAL Teams I didn't take [ __ ] man it [ __ ] was

Teams I didn't take [ __ ] man it [ __ ] was [ __ ] up I called it I called it

[ __ ] up I called it I called it there's there's no secret there there's

there's there's no secret there there's no secret [ __ ] here man and and and I

no secret [ __ ] here man and and and I knew what happened when I when I got out

knew what happened when I when I got out and this guy started doing this [ __ ] and

and this guy started doing this [ __ ] and I I knew why he was doing it because the

I I knew why he was doing it because the biggest thing like he wanted to take my

biggest thing like he wanted to take my character and destroy it right that's

character and destroy it right that's all he wanted to do and so when you're

all he wanted to do and so when you're in these kind of communities like this

in these kind of communities like this man people like oh no there's no way he

man people like oh no there's no way he was trying to do that man I wish I can

was trying to do that man I wish I can get Jennifer here right now we have all

get Jennifer here right now we have all the screenshots and I had to get a

the screenshots and I had to get a [ __ ]

[ __ ] lawyer I mean this guy went so far and

lawyer I mean this guy went so far and then what happened was over a period of

then what happened was over a period of time he [ __ ]

time he [ __ ] literally apologized went away [ __ ]

literally apologized went away [ __ ] took all this [ __ ] down I mean but he

took all this [ __ ] down I mean but he came out and but what happened was that

came out and but what happened was that rumor mill spread like wildfire did he

rumor mill spread like wildfire did he have to know did he have to be told

have to know did he have to be told about your actual record no he knew

about your actual record no he knew never I deployed with him what I

never I deployed with him what I deployed with him in Iraq no in Iraq he

deployed with him in Iraq no in Iraq he was just lying in Iraq I deployed with

was just lying in Iraq I deployed with him in the only [ __ ] see man you got get

him in the only [ __ ] see man you got get me to the point where I say his [ __ ]

me to the point where I say his [ __ ] name because I swear to God so I

name because I swear to God so I deployed with his ass that's why I put

deployed with his ass that's why I put the [ __ ] right up in there so I got a

the [ __ ] right up in there so I got a medal over there in Iraq I got a medal

medal over there in Iraq I got a medal in Iraq so I did go to war and I put it

in Iraq so I did go to war and I put it in the book Because when because

in the book Because when because Jennifer started getting all this [ __ ]

Jennifer started getting all this [ __ ] and she goes you got to put that [ __ ]

and she goes you got to put that [ __ ] award in there because this [ __ ]

award in there because this [ __ ] is just ly his ass off I didn't go to

is just ly his ass off I didn't go to Ranger school all this [ __ ] so I put the

Ranger school all this [ __ ] so I put the Ranger school everything he said

Ranger school everything he said I put in can't hurt me because he was

I put in can't hurt me because he was just literally lying trying to literally

just literally lying trying to literally ruin who I was cuz I'm the world's

ruin who I was cuz I'm the world's toughest man that doesn't sit right with

toughest man that doesn't sit right with some [ __ ] Alpha [ __ ] dude

some [ __ ] Alpha [ __ ] dude and these [ __ ] dude some of

and these [ __ ] dude some of them and you don't know unless you've

them and you don't know unless you've been in the fraternity like this unless

been in the fraternity like this unless you've been in the fraternity like this

you've been in the fraternity like this you don't [ __ ] know I don't [ __ ]

you don't [ __ ] know I don't [ __ ] care about them there's some I some

care about them there's some I some great friends in there but anyway the

great friends in there but anyway the reason this guy actually helped me out

reason this guy actually helped me out so when I came out there's a few guys in

so when I came out there's a few guys in that came after me in the seel teams

that came after me in the seel teams trying to make sure that I [ __ ]

trying to make sure that I [ __ ] wasn't going to be who I am and they

wasn't going to be who I am and they still talk their [ __ ] lies

still talk their [ __ ] lies lies so many [ __ ] lies dude and

lies so many [ __ ] lies dude and what's great about is my proof isn't

what's great about is my proof isn't can't hurt me so everything they say my

can't hurt me so everything they say my proof is in and that's why it's designed

proof is in and that's why it's designed that way for the Liars but this guy came

that way for the Liars but this guy came out and what I do is I studied him so

out and what I do is I studied him so Jennifer goty lawyer I'm about to sue

Jennifer goty lawyer I'm about to sue the [ __ ] out of this [ __ ] guy man

the [ __ ] out of this [ __ ] guy man like I had all this defamation I mean it

like I had all this defamation I mean it was [ __ ] a thick I was going to sue

was [ __ ] a thick I was going to sue the [ __ ] out of him and every night I

the [ __ ] out of him and every night I [ __ ] woke

[ __ ] woke up I was like man I started think about

up I was like man I started think about myself when I was a piece of [ __ ] when I

myself when I was a piece of [ __ ] when I had no character when I had no pride no

had no character when I had no pride no dignity that's CU only people that do

dignity that's CU only people that do [ __ ] like that you're not a man right

[ __ ] like that you're not a man right you're no [ __ ] man dude like I start

you're no [ __ ] man dude like I start thinking about what kind of [ __ ] you

thinking about what kind of [ __ ] you are man what how you must have so many

are man what how you must have so many [ __ ] demons in your life that you

[ __ ] demons in your life that you spend this kind of time just trying to

spend this kind of time just trying to take another man just trying to take

take another man just trying to take another man and not

another man and not I it'd be different if it was truth

I it'd be different if it was truth behind it right lies [ __ ] lies yeah

behind it right lies [ __ ] lies yeah just because we didn't get along

just because we didn't get along [ __ ] it don't mean I wasn't who

[ __ ] it don't mean I wasn't who I am we didn't get along [ __ ]

I am we didn't get along [ __ ] cuz I [ __ ] I'm like a lie detector

cuz I [ __ ] I'm like a lie detector cuz I'm so [ __ ] honest with myself I

cuz I'm so [ __ ] honest with myself I had such a hard time in my life that I

had such a hard time in my life that I [ __ ] so forthright when you get even

[ __ ] so forthright when you get even near

near me cuz I [ __ ] you know my [ __ ] is

me cuz I [ __ ] you know my [ __ ] is real it's [ __ ] real as [ __ ] it makes

real it's [ __ ] real as [ __ ] it makes you feel bad

you feel bad if you got something going on in your

if you got something going on in your [ __ ] life I Ain open my [ __ ] mouth

[ __ ] life I Ain open my [ __ ] mouth you know my [ __ ] is [ __ ] real yeah I

you know my [ __ ] is [ __ ] real yeah I may not deployed as many times you

may not deployed as many times you [ __ ] because my heart issues and

[ __ ] because my heart issues and the other issues that I won't talk about

the other issues that I won't talk about cuz the [ __ ] news wants me to [ __ ]

cuz the [ __ ] news wants me to [ __ ] talk about this [ __ ] so bad they want to

talk about this [ __ ] so bad they want to take some Ste down so bad I ain't no

take some Ste down so bad I ain't no [ __ ] like that whatever happened to se

[ __ ] like that whatever happened to se teams with me it happened to SEAL Teams

teams with me it happened to SEAL Teams that's why I don't [ __ ] mention the

that's why I don't [ __ ] mention the names but I saw these little [ __ ]

names but I saw these little [ __ ] come out here it was in the fraternity

come out here it was in the fraternity it happened in the fraternity leave it

it happened in the fraternity leave it there don't be a [ __ ] [ __ ] come out

there don't be a [ __ ] [ __ ] come out here [ __ ] spreading lies about me

here [ __ ] spreading lies about me [ __ ] but I studied all these

[ __ ] but I studied all these little [ __ ] who try to come out and

little [ __ ] who try to come out and ruin my life studied all of them like

ruin my life studied all of them like man what you must be going through is

man what you must be going through is [ __ ] evil I even took a step further

[ __ ] evil I even took a step further I had to mature myself because I was so

I had to mature myself because I was so [ __ ] mad and I looked at his family

[ __ ] mad and I looked at his family this guy who was talking this [ __ ] I G

this guy who was talking this [ __ ] I G to say his name so bad but I never will

to say his name so bad but I never will because that's a [ __ ] [ __ ] move on

because that's a [ __ ] [ __ ] move on my

my part you can take food out of this

part you can take food out of this [ __ ] his family's mouth

[ __ ] his family's mouth you're G to have this guy in the

you're G to have this guy in the courthouse you have him in the courtroom

courthouse you have him in the courtroom spending money on

spending money on lawyers and I [ __ ] just [ __ ]

lawyers and I [ __ ] just [ __ ] dropped it I said I'm good I said I know

dropped it I said I'm good I said I know who the [ __ ] I am I said you can wake up

who the [ __ ] I am I said you can wake up every [ __ ] morning being the [ __ ]

every [ __ ] morning being the [ __ ] that you are but I'm not going to

that you are but I'm not going to [ __ ] take money out of your pocket

[ __ ] take money out of your pocket and money out of your mouth out of your

and money out of your mouth out of your [ __ ] kids kids mouth and this kid

[ __ ] kids kids mouth and this kid this guy wound up apologizing to you he

this guy wound up apologizing to you he didn't apologized to me what happened

didn't apologized to me what happened was he got on and I don't want to go too

was he got on and I don't want to go too deep because they will figure it out

deep because they will figure it out but um he ended up basically saying he's

but um he ended up basically saying he's he had a

he had a [ __ ] he he just wasn't he wasn't

[ __ ] he he just wasn't he wasn't right in his head he was he was you know

right in his head he was he was you know he wasn't good I and I can tell he

he wasn't good I and I can tell he wasn't good because he was literally

wasn't good because he was literally dming people and I I wish I had Jennifer

dming people and I I wish I had Jennifer in here man so she can show you the DMS

in here man so she can show you the DMS he was deeming people and talking all

he was deeming people and talking all this [ __ ] and then he would delete it

this [ __ ] and then he would delete it and this guy H how so so so Jennifer

and this guy H how so so so Jennifer found it and so cuz this guy dm'

found it and so cuz this guy dm' Jennifer and was like um hey can you do

Jennifer and was like um hey can you do you do you know this guy and I was like

you do you know this guy and I was like yeah I know him and then J was like Hey

yeah I know him and then J was like Hey we got to [ __ ] shut this [ __ ] down

we got to [ __ ] shut this [ __ ] down but he was DM and several people just

but he was DM and several people just saying that I was dis AR be discharged I

saying that I was dis AR be discharged I was kicked out of the SEAL Teams I

was kicked out of the SEAL Teams I refused to go to combat um he just went

refused to go to combat um he just went on and on and on and so this guy was

on and on and on and so this guy was taking screenshots of what of what this

taking screenshots of what of what this guy was saying and sending them to us

guy was saying and sending them to us and so at this time now we have a lawyer

and so at this time now we have a lawyer and so we're were getting all this [ __ ]

and so we're were getting all this [ __ ] dude and then he had a YouTube site

dude and then he had a YouTube site setup that he took down just trying to

setup that he took down just trying to literally ruin who I was and I looked at

literally ruin who I was and I looked at all this [ __ ] and I studied them I was

all this [ __ ] and I studied them I was like man you got and what came out later

like man you got and what came out later on was he did have some demons he does

on was he did have some demons he does have some Demons of course he does

have some Demons of course he does serious demons that's how insane it is

serious demons that's how insane it is that the guy deployed with you SEAL Team

that the guy deployed with you SEAL Team Six and these [ __ ] supposed to

Six and these [ __ ] supposed to be bass [ __ ] see this is this is

be bass [ __ ] see this is this is some of the issues I had when I was in

some of the issues I had when I was in is that when you work so hard

is that when you work so hard man I put these [ __ ] like I

man I put these [ __ ] like I talked about last time I was on this

talked about last time I was on this [ __ ] [ __ ] on a pedestal half the

[ __ ] [ __ ] on a pedestal half the reason I ran on broken legs half the

reason I ran on broken legs half the reason why I [ __ ] became who I became

reason why I [ __ ] became who I became was because of the the

was because of the the image these guys had on me I was so

image these guys had on me I was so impressed with the books and the [ __ ]

impressed with the books and the [ __ ] and the and the and the people that they

and the and the and the people that they were I was like my God man I got to be a

were I was like my God man I got to be a [ __ ] God I got to be a god mentally

[ __ ] God I got to be a god mentally to [ __ ] get in here and once I got in

to [ __ ] get in here and once I got in I discovered something different I'm not

I discovered something different I'm not saying that I'm not saying everybody I'm

saying that I'm not saying everybody I'm not I don't know everybody in the seel

not I don't know everybody in the seel teams but I had a problem with the fact

teams but I had a problem with the fact that a lot of people lived

that a lot of people lived this this [ __ ] like a lot of the

this this [ __ ] like a lot of the civilians like oh my God the seals are

civilians like oh my God the seals are this the seals are that you were able to

this the seals are that you were able to run badwater 135 because you're a Navy

run badwater 135 because you're a Navy SEAL and because they like no

SEAL and because they like no [ __ ] that ain't why and I always

[ __ ] that ain't why and I always knew the [ __ ] and I had issues with it

knew the [ __ ] and I had issues with it man I had issues with it so I had a

man I had issues with it so I had a [ __ ] I had issues with it a lot of

[ __ ] I had issues with it a lot of people didn't like that and then I went

people didn't like that and then I went on to go and recruiting for a little bit

on to go and recruiting for a little bit and then the heart surgeries happened so

and then the heart surgeries happened so the more I was in recruiting the more I

the more I was in recruiting the more I was that [ __ ] happened they just started

was that [ __ ] happened they just started slowly building up lies slowly building

slowly building up lies slowly building up lies and I came out to I was I told

up lies and I came out to I was I told Jennifer I and I knew it I said

Jennifer I and I knew it I said standby stand by it's coming whenever

standby stand by it's coming whenever you're a person that gets

you're a person that gets what other people think is attention

what other people think is attention that they think they deserve yes sir

that they think they deserve yes sir that's when things get weird oh yeah

that's when things get weird oh yeah that's why they bring those [ __ ]

that's why they bring those [ __ ] deployments because they think oh my God

deployments because they think oh my God you didn't deploy as much as me you

you didn't deploy as much as me you didn't deploy as much as me he was this

didn't deploy as much as me he was this he's not known for being for for

he's not known for being for for deploying and [ __ ] yeah [ __ ]

deploying and [ __ ] yeah [ __ ] don't care yeah I have I have a combat

don't care yeah I have I have a combat deployment and I deployed another time

deployment and I deployed another time that we were supposed to it was right

that we were supposed to it was right during 9/11 we were supposed to go and

during 9/11 we were supposed to go and they [ __ ] had us over in Guam we were

they [ __ ] had us over in Guam we were all pissed off didn't work out that way

all pissed off didn't work out that way but I got over there and what's funny

but I got over there and what's funny about it this is this is what makes me

about it this is this is what makes me laugh so much there's a lot of Navy C

laugh so much there's a lot of Navy C who never deployed over combat ever

who never deployed over combat ever ever and it makes me laugh because

ever and it makes me laugh because [ __ ] want to act like one

[ __ ] want to act like one combat deployment where I fought for my

combat deployment where I fought for my [ __ ] country it's

[ __ ] country it's [ __ ] think about that fought from my

[ __ ] think about that fought from my [ __ ] country did my [ __ ] sorry it

[ __ ] country did my [ __ ] sorry it worked out the way it worked out

worked out the way it worked out and that's that's a that's not enough I

and that's that's a that's not enough I think it part part of the problem with

think it part part of the problem with some of those guys is when guys are

some of those guys is when guys are seriously Alpha and they think they go

seriously Alpha and they think they go above and beyond and they push harder

above and beyond and they push harder than anybody and then they meet you and

than anybody and then they meet you and you're the guy that's getting up at 3:30

you're the guy that's getting up at 3:30 in the morning yelling at them while

in the morning yelling at them while you're running like I know you're

you're running like I know you're sleeping I know you're still in bed

sleeping I know you're still in bed [ __ ] I'm out here running 10

[ __ ] I'm out here running 10 miles before you eat breakfast that's

miles before you eat breakfast that's half the reason I did it yeah that's

half the reason I did it yeah that's half the reason that [ __ ] going

half the reason that [ __ ] going to [ __ ] halisco and [ __ ] getting

to [ __ ] halisco and [ __ ] getting waffle breakfast and [ __ ] bacing and

waffle breakfast and [ __ ] bacing and eggs [ __ ] that bothered me I said

eggs [ __ ] that bothered me I said [ __ ] I got my family and

[ __ ] I got my family and everybody thinking I'm some [ __ ] stud

everybody thinking I'm some [ __ ] stud and you all just got to [ __ ] lift

and you all just got to [ __ ] lift some weights y'all don't want to [ __ ]

some weights y'all don't want to [ __ ] like I said I was in charge of PT and

like I said I was in charge of PT and they're like Noah this ain't buzz goggin

they're like Noah this ain't buzz goggin like man you got a lot of [ __ ]

like man you got a lot of [ __ ] food this ain't everybody I don't know

food this ain't everybody I don't know every seal I don't know every seal but

every seal I don't know every seal but you want to run your [ __ ] mouth about

you want to run your [ __ ] mouth about me and talk your little [ __ ] I got my

me and talk your little [ __ ] I got my secrets too and I won't say names cuz

secrets too and I won't say names cuz only a [ __ ] does that so keep on

only a [ __ ] does that so keep on running your [ __ ] mouths I know all

running your [ __ ] mouths I know all you [ __ ] so you started taking

you [ __ ] so you started taking over PT yeah I was so when I got back so

over PT yeah I was so when I got back so I went on my first deployment and when I

I went on my first deployment and when I came back off my first deployment I

came back off my first deployment I begged put seven chits in seven chits

begged put seven chits in seven chits it's like a request chit to go to Ranger

it's like a request chit to go to Ranger school [ __ ] don't request to go

school [ __ ] don't request to go to Ranger school I wanted to go to

to Ranger school I wanted to go to Ranger school as a seal you went through

Ranger school as a seal you went through buds whatever the [ __ ] you don't want to

buds whatever the [ __ ] you don't want to go to another course to get your ass

go to another course to get your ass kicked I did I did so much Ranger school

kicked I did I did so much Ranger school came back honor man I was the enlisted

came back honor man I was the enlisted honor man at Ranger school but they say

honor man at Ranger school but they say I'm a bad operator they also say I'm a

I'm a bad operator they also say I'm a bad operator but guess what they had my

bad operator but guess what they had my black ass when I was [ __ ] in Iraq I

black ass when I was [ __ ] in Iraq I was chared it's called PSD okay so

was chared it's called PSD okay so you're like a bodyguard I'm a bad

you're like a bodyguard I'm a bad operator Joe but guess where I was I was

operator Joe but guess where I was I was the lead

the lead Navigator so I'm the eyes so everything

Navigator so I'm the eyes so everything we did was in the

we did was in the car it was my job to make sure that

car it was my job to make sure that whole [ __ ] platoon was

whole [ __ ] platoon was safe okay you're not going to put a dumb

safe okay you're not going to put a dumb bad operator up there who's [ __ ] not

bad operator up there who's [ __ ] not good it's my job to make sure I called

good it's my job to make sure I called all the outs called all the trouble

all the outs called all the trouble coming had to get us there safe we had

coming had to get us there safe we had the [ __ ] guy who was going for the

the [ __ ] guy who was going for the prime minister's job who we a garden and

prime minister's job who we a garden and they had a bad operator what they want

they had a bad operator what they want to call me they want to say the little

to call me they want to say the little [ __ ] rumors I was the guy who let it

[ __ ] rumors I was the guy who let it and it was so good I did such a good job

and it was so good I did such a good job that there's two of us cuz the job's

that there's two of us cuz the job's very stressful being a primary Navigator

very stressful being a primary Navigator stressful so they have a primary and a

stressful so they have a primary and a secondary so some days I would do it

secondary so some days I would do it some days another guy would do it I was

some days another guy would do it I was doing such a good job Joe that they

doing such a good job Joe that they didn't want the other guy to do it so I

didn't want the other guy to do it so I became the only guy navigating us

became the only guy navigating us through [ __ ] Iraq all right and our

through [ __ ] Iraq all right and our guy didn't live in the green zone the

guy didn't live in the green zone the green zone is a safe place our guy lived

green zone is a safe place our guy lived in the red zone so we had to go out in

in the red zone so we had to go out in the Red Zone every day to get this

the Red Zone every day to get this [ __ ] guy bring it back in no there

[ __ ] guy bring it back in no there was no shoot him UPS cuz this one one

was no shoot him UPS cuz this one one rumor that was out there that came out

rumor that was out there that came out from this guy was I

from this guy was I froze I froze in a firefight it's kind

froze I froze in a firefight it's kind of funny how you can freeze in a

of funny how you can freeze in a firefight when oure was never in

firefight when oure was never in morning so it's just just [ __ ] man

morning so it's just just [ __ ] man but I know where it comes from I know

but I know where it comes from I know where it comes from crabs in a bucket I

where it comes from crabs in a bucket I know where it comes from my friend it's

know where it comes from my friend it's just crabs in a bucket that's it sorry

just crabs in a bucket that's it sorry sorry I became so successful guys that's

sorry I became so successful guys that's what it is people don't like it when you

what it is people don't like it when you did the same thing they did you come

did the same thing they did you come from the same fraternity but you get

from the same fraternity but you get exort exorbitant amounts of attention

exort exorbitant amounts of attention and success oh yeah and instead of

and success oh yeah and instead of looking at that and going wow look what

looking at that and going wow look what he did that's amazing I wish I did that

he did that's amazing I wish I did that or maybe I could do more or he's

or maybe I could do more or he's inspiring other people and that's great

inspiring other people and that's great you know what though I will say this

you know what though I will say this there's a there's a lot of them that do

there's a there's a lot of them that do say that that's great there's a lot of

say that that's great there's a lot of them that do say this I have a guy named

them that do say this I have a guy named Hawk you know that that email I sent to

Hawk you know that that email I sent to you a while ago about this guy who wrote

you a while ago about this guy who wrote that email about the SEAL Teams and I

that email about the SEAL Teams and I shared it with you you about he's

shared it with you you about he's talking about like only 133% of you

talking about like only 133% of you actually it's like anyway I sent email

actually it's like anyway I sent email remember so anyway he's a guy that sent

remember so anyway he's a guy that sent that email Hawk he's like my best friend

that email Hawk he's like my best friend so he uh bad [ __ ] when he when

so he uh bad [ __ ] when he when he got out of SE teams he wrote this

he got out of SE teams he wrote this email and sent out to like every Navy SE

email and sent out to like every Navy SE and it was like 87% of you [ __ ]

and it was like 87% of you [ __ ] he said 87% of you [ __ ] you

he said 87% of you [ __ ] you know are are living off of one week and

know are are living off of one week and what he was talking about was hell week

what he was talking about was hell week like that one week in hell week is all

like that one week in hell week is all they're living off of cuz they're not

they're living off of cuz they're not living it now and he made these shirts

living it now and he made these shirts called the 133% shirts and the other

called the 133% shirts and the other 133% guys are actually getting after it

133% guys are actually getting after it that [ __ ] sent me two of

that [ __ ] sent me two of them all right he sent me two of them so

them all right he sent me two of them so yeah they're right I wish I could have

yeah they're right I wish I could have deployed more and blah blah blah

deployed more and blah blah blah whatever and whatever man but I was I

whatever and whatever man but I was I was a [ __ ] good seal and [ __ ] good

was a [ __ ] good seal and [ __ ] good teammate and some guys didn't like me

teammate and some guys didn't like me and in the fraternity [ __ ] had it out

and in the fraternity [ __ ] had it out and there's a time somebody [ __ ] did

and there's a time somebody [ __ ] did some [ __ ] but is what it is man you ever

some [ __ ] but is what it is man you ever heard uh when people talk about some

heard uh when people talk about some Union work one of the things that

Union work one of the things that happens when you're in some unions is

happens when you're in some unions is like if you're working too hard someone

like if you're working too hard someone will come along go hey David slow the

will come along go hey David slow the [ __ ]

[ __ ] down Bad true statement like you're

down Bad true statement like you're moving too many packages you're doing

moving too many packages you're doing too much of this to too much of that

too much of this to too much of that you're setting the standard too high and

you're setting the standard too high and you're [ __ ] it up for everybody else

you're [ __ ] it up for everybody else and so you'll have people that will

and so you'll have people that will sabotage someone mhm just because that

sabotage someone mhm just because that person

person wants to work hard oh I see it but it

wants to work hard oh I see it but it made me grow it made me grow and I and

made me grow it made me grow and I and I'm glad I didn't put a case on that guy

I'm glad I didn't put a case on that guy and I'm glad I got a chance to study him

and I'm glad I got a chance to study him and it is what it is man it is what it

and it is what it is man it is what it is and this is one part that I try to

is and this is one part that I try to tell people and teach them if you're

tell people and teach them if you're trying to go to that uncommon amongst

trying to go to that uncommon amongst the uncommon place it's a lonely

the uncommon place it's a lonely [ __ ] up there man it's lonely

[ __ ] up there man it's lonely I'm not saying I'm better than every

I'm not saying I'm better than every [ __ ] body I'm not saying that and

[ __ ] body I'm not saying that and once again I'm not speaking for every

once again I'm not speaking for every seal I'm not but I just didn't I didn't

seal I'm not but I just didn't I didn't try to be what they were what you're

try to be what they were what you're just saying is just a fact it's just a

just saying is just a fact it's just a fact man it's just a fact and there

fact man it's just a fact and there there's people that are willing to go

there's people that are willing to go very far and then there's people that

very far and then there's people that are willing to go far further than them

are willing to go far further than them that's it and when your person who

that's it and when your person who prides yourself on your ability to go

prides yourself on your ability to go very far and then someone is willing to

very far and then someone is willing to go far farther than you you have to

go far farther than you you have to decide do I want to look at that as the

decide do I want to look at that as the new standard do I want to judge myself

new standard do I want to judge myself do I want to admire him or do I want to

do I want to admire him or do I want to try to take him down because I feel bad

try to take him down because I feel bad because I can't do what he does or

because I can't do what he does or haven't done what he does or what he

haven't done what he does or what he does makes me look bad because I like to

does makes me look bad because I like to think I'm a hard worker I like to think

think I'm a hard worker I like to think I'm disciplined and hard and then I see

I'm disciplined and hard and then I see this [ __ ] dude out there that just

this [ __ ] dude out there that just making me look soft right and so instead

making me look soft right and so instead of just going look at him man [ __ ] yeah

of just going look at him man [ __ ] yeah right instead of a smart person would

right instead of a smart person would look at that person as fuel but you have

look at that person as fuel but you have to make your own decisions too because

to make your own decisions too because you do

you do requires a dedication that will

requires a dedication that will eliminate a lot of things from your life

eliminate a lot of things from your life that some people enjoy and think are

that some people enjoy and think are important dude and also when you when I

important dude and also when you when I took the road cuz I knew what I was

took the road cuz I knew what I was doing when you when you take that road

doing when you when you take that road and you just don't want to just fit in

and you just don't want to just fit in it's a lonely road it's a lonely road

it's a lonely road it's a lonely road and you get a lot of haters man and like

and you get a lot of haters man and like I tell people all the time

I tell people all the time man if I can walk on water [ __ ]

man if I can walk on water [ __ ] would say because I couldn't swim

would say because I couldn't swim tell that right the [ __ ] now yeah tell

tell that right the [ __ ] now yeah tell that right now and and this is a true

that right now and and this is a true statement I used to get so mad like I

statement I used to get so mad like I said about this [ __ ] [ __ ] man but I

said about this [ __ ] [ __ ] man but I sat back one day I was like you know

sat back one day I was like you know what all these people hating on me man

what all these people hating on me man like I have a guy who's trying to who's

like I have a guy who's trying to who's trying to write a book saying that I was

trying to write a book saying that I was telling people he's a famous author like

telling people he's a famous author like I'll never drop names dude I'm not

I'll never drop names dude I'm not trying to hurt your business but you're

trying to hurt your business but you're funny these people are funny keep on

funny these people are funny keep on talking your [ __ ] I will absorb it and

talking your [ __ ] I will absorb it and make a mixtape out of your [ __ ] ass

make a mixtape out of your [ __ ] ass like I do he tried to tell he he was

like I do he tried to tell he he was going to write book that I was telling

going to write book that I was telling people to run until your kidneys got

people to run until your kidneys got [ __ ] up that my mentality of running

[ __ ] up that my mentality of running is is I was telling people I was telling

is is I was telling people I was telling people to run into your kidneys got

people to run into your kidneys got [ __ ] up to run until you get wbed up

[ __ ] up to run until you get wbed up run until you get wbed up that's he was

run until you get wbed up that's he was going to he's going to write a book and

going to he's going to write a book and the premise was the way I think compared

the premise was the way I think compared to the way he thinks I never told a

to the way he thinks I never told a [ __ ] in my

[ __ ] in my life I tell you to do better and go as

life I tell you to do better and go as far as you can I don't tell you to go

far as you can I don't tell you to go until you [ __ ] kill yourself until

until you [ __ ] kill yourself until you get rabo but I will tell you this

you get rabo but I will tell you this Joe you will never never in

Joe you will never never in life meet a hater doing better than you

life meet a hater doing better than you that's a fact ever so when I [ __ ]

that's a fact ever so when I [ __ ] realize that and Jennifer gets so mad at

realize that and Jennifer gets so mad at the lies she hears and this and that

the lies she hears and this and that because it comes all through they spew

because it comes all through they spew it yeah I told Jennifer that [ __ ] man

it yeah I told Jennifer that [ __ ] man stop yeah [ __ ] calm down bro don't

stop yeah [ __ ] calm down bro don't stop sending me that [ __ ] 100% factual

stop sending me that [ __ ] 100% factual there's there we were we were talking

there's there we were we were talking about in the bathroom earlier I was like

about in the bathroom earlier I was like you got a amount of bandwidth in your

you got a amount of bandwidth in your mind yep whatever that those units are

mind yep whatever that those units are let called a hundred hundred of of those

let called a hundred hundred of of those things in your mind the moment you start

things in your mind the moment you start entertaining haters you start reading

entertaining haters you start reading comments you're stealing your bandwidth

comments you're stealing your bandwidth that you could apply to your loved ones

that you could apply to your loved ones that you could apply to the thing that

that you could apply to the thing that you love to do that you could apply to

you love to do that you could apply to making your life better you're stealing

making your life better you're stealing from yourself when you pay attention

from yourself when you pay attention like I was talking about clearing that

like I was talking about clearing that space out yeah and that space allows you

space out yeah and that space allows you to make more room for what's important

to make more room for what's important in your life yeah if your mind's still

in your life yeah if your mind's still clutter man you can't do [ __ ] there's

clutter man you can't do [ __ ] there's also a thing about you being a public

also a thing about you being a public person being a public person now you

person being a public person now you have access to way more haters than the

have access to way more haters than the the

the average the average person knows a few

average the average person knows a few haters maybe if you're a good-look woman

haters maybe if you're a good-look woman and you got some [ __ ] in the office

and you got some [ __ ] in the office like to talk [ __ ] about you or if you're

like to talk [ __ ] about you or if you're a guy who's like you know getting after

a guy who's like you know getting after it early and being disciplined and you

it early and being disciplined and you you you make people intimidated by your

you you make people intimidated by your ambition you're going to have some

ambition you're going to have some haters you're going to be people lying

haters you're going to be people lying about you there's going to be but you

about you there's going to be but you have no idea what it's like to be a

have no idea what it's like to be a public person like

public person like yourself and the kind of haters that you

yourself and the kind of haters that you must experience because if you paid

must experience because if you paid attention to them all day long you would

attention to them all day long you would have no time for anything else no I

have no time for anything else no I never get in 2013 when I was first you

never get in 2013 when I was first you know Jennifer knows about this [ __ ] I

know Jennifer knows about this [ __ ] I cussed everybody we had this [ __ ]

cussed everybody we had this [ __ ] round table and every was like man he

round table and every was like man he have such a great story you need to tell

have such a great story you need to tell it you need to get on social media and

it you need to get on social media and blah blah blah I cussed everybody out

blah blah blah I cussed everybody out [ __ ] you I'm not [ __ ] going on that

[ __ ] you I'm not [ __ ] going on that [ __ ] [ __ ] that's a bunch of [ __ ]

[ __ ] [ __ ] that's a bunch of [ __ ] [ __ ] lying it's it's the

[ __ ] lying it's it's the devil and the second I [ __ ] got on

devil and the second I [ __ ] got on that [ __ ] dude it is the [ __ ] devil

that [ __ ] dude it is the [ __ ] devil Instagram and social media man I had

Instagram and social media man I had this [ __ ] kid man who [ __ ]

this [ __ ] kid man who [ __ ] literally the reason I talk about haters

literally the reason I talk about haters so much is this little boy his parents

so much is this little boy his parents reached out to me and he was getting so

reached out to me and he was getting so much hate at school and we get so many

much hate at school and we get so many emails I can't check them all and but I

emails I can't check them all and but I get to them but later on much like two

get to them but later on much like two or three months later so this guy wrote

or three months later so this guy wrote us and this kid was having a hard time

us and this kid was having a hard time with bullies and when I got to his email

with bullies and when I got to his email I got to it called his family up said

I got to it called his family up said hey what's going on you know David Gaga

hey what's going on you know David Gaga they were all happy to hear it he had

they were all happy to hear it he had killed

killed himself so

himself so like I in the back of my [ __ ] mind

like I in the back of my [ __ ] mind and what hurt me the most was when I

and what hurt me the most was when I read the [ __ ]

read the [ __ ] email and uh Oho [ __ ] I get my [ __ ]

email and uh Oho [ __ ] I get my [ __ ] together I wasn't gonna bring this [ __ ]

together I wasn't gonna bring this [ __ ] up I I I I read the email and they said

up I I I I read the email and they said he can you know you can help her son

he can you know you can help her son know our son really admires you that's

know our son really admires you that's why I um I'm so I'm I'm I'm I'm very

why I um I'm so I'm I'm I'm I'm very vocal for a lot of

vocal for a lot of reasons but I have to be strong because

reasons but I have to be strong because I know a lot of people aren't so you

I know a lot of people aren't so you know that's why don't cower from [ __ ]

know that's why don't cower from [ __ ] you know at all you want to [ __ ] you

you know at all you want to [ __ ] you know I've I'll take on whatever whatever

know I've I'll take on whatever whatever challenge is in front of me I take it on

challenge is in front of me I take it on because a lot of people don't have that

because a lot of people don't have that that courage and it's hard to be brave

that courage and it's hard to be brave it's [ __ ] hard to speak up for what

it's [ __ ] hard to speak up for what you believe in and they they wrote this

you believe in and they they wrote this great email to me and they want me to

great email to me and they want me to talk to their son son was a big follower

talk to their son son was a big follower of mine and he uh so I called he's like

of mine and he uh so I called he's like yeah and it was a silent a very silent

yeah and it was a silent a very silent um

um pause and they told me what happened and

pause and they told me what happened and um he hung himself and I was like it was

um he hung himself and I was like it was [ __ ] up so you know that's why another

[ __ ] up so you know that's why another reason I hate I hate being a public

reason I hate I hate being a public figure because it's not a public figure

figure because it's not a public figure that I am like it's funny um I hang

that I am like it's funny um I hang around some people who are real public

around some people who are real public figures you know like

figures you know like celebrities and I have people coming to

celebrities and I have people coming to me first like I'm talking of famous

me first like I'm talking of famous [ __ ] and people come to me me

[ __ ] and people come to me me first and and they want to share their

first and and they want to share their story in their life with me about how

story in their life with me about how they changed and that's a massive

they changed and that's a massive responsibility that people don't

responsibility that people don't understand

understand like um when they come to you and they

like um when they come to you and they share the demons that they've gone

share the demons that they've gone through and and the hard [ __ ] the

through and and the hard [ __ ] the hardships that they've gone through and

hardships that they've gone through and um and they say you and your book and

um and they say you and your book and and what you've done and your social

and what you've done and your social media page that's why I make sure I want

media page that's why I make sure I want to go at people so hard Joe sometimes

to go at people so hard Joe sometimes man for [ __ ] talking their [ __ ] to me

man for [ __ ] talking their [ __ ] to me man and lying [ __ ] I make sure that my

man and lying [ __ ] I make sure that my social media only has like let's let's

social media only has like let's let's [ __ ] get it today let's [ __ ] let's

[ __ ] get it today let's [ __ ] let's [ __ ] get they go man why don't you

[ __ ] get they go man why don't you follow anybody man I'm not into that

follow anybody man I'm not into that [ __ ] dude I I I want you [ __ ] to

[ __ ] dude I I I want you [ __ ] to understand dude I'm your biggest [ __ ]

understand dude I'm your biggest [ __ ] for for you who don't who aren't

for for you who don't who aren't bitching and whining and complaining I'm

bitching and whining and complaining I'm your biggest [ __ ]

your biggest [ __ ] cheerleader I want to see you do great I

cheerleader I want to see you do great I I want to see do great and a lot of that

I want to see do great and a lot of that [ __ ] comes from that [ __ ] email from

[ __ ] comes from that [ __ ] email from that kid who killed himself that I got

that kid who killed himself that I got to like two or three months too late and

to like two or three months too late and that [ __ ] [ __ ] every day I [ __ ]

that [ __ ] [ __ ] every day I [ __ ] wake up I'm like [ __ ] man [ __ ] I gotta

wake up I'm like [ __ ] man [ __ ] I gotta be honest I gota be right I gota be

be honest I gota be right I gota be better and that's that's when you know

better and that's that's when you know that when when you're trying to do your

that when when you're trying to do your best your life sucks and people don't

best your life sucks and people don't get that when you're trying to have the

get that when you're trying to have the best character when you're trying not to

best character when you're trying not to [ __ ] lie and you're trying not to

[ __ ] lie and you're trying not to [ __ ] put people down and you're

[ __ ] put people down and you're trying to live you're trying to set the

trying to live you're trying to set the standard when you're trying to be the

standard when you're trying to be the standard and that standard is I you know

standard and that standard is I you know there's so much going wrong and going

there's so much going wrong and going off in this world that if people can

off in this world that if people can focus on themselves being better versus

focus on themselves being better versus throwing hate and [ __ ] all this [ __ ]

throwing hate and [ __ ] all this [ __ ] that happens out there and people

that happens out there and people talking [ __ ] running that's why I won't

talking [ __ ] running that's why I won't mention no [ __ ] names not

mention no [ __ ] names not trying to hurt you man but I'm trying to

trying to hurt you man but I'm trying to be the standard and sometimes life is

be the standard and sometimes life is just not fun when you're like can't do

just not fun when you're like can't do that can't say that gota watch out for

that can't say that gota watch out for that yeah I I gotta wake up today I

that yeah I I gotta wake up today I gotta I gotta grind because there may be

gotta I gotta grind because there may be a [ __ ] out there that sees me in

a [ __ ] out there that sees me in their [ __ ] car that says all right

their [ __ ] car that says all right I'm going to go home and be better today

I'm going to go home and be better today so all these things are in my [ __ ]

so all these things are in my [ __ ] mind every [ __ ] day I wake up every

mind every [ __ ] day I wake up every [ __ ] day and I you know so you know I

[ __ ] day and I you know so you know I try to get to emails I it's it's me and

try to get to emails I it's it's me and Jennifer and but yeah you know people

Jennifer and but yeah you know people [ __ ] it's it's crazy man people come

[ __ ] it's it's crazy man people come to me tell me their stories man it's

to me tell me their stories man it's [ __ ] very humbling that this kid that

[ __ ] very humbling that this kid that came from [ __ ] nothing is now helping

came from [ __ ] nothing is now helping people who you know like you know know

people who you know like you know know it's is funny and people call me crazy a

it's is funny and people call me crazy a lot man you're so [ __ ] crazy but what

lot man you're so [ __ ] crazy but what you do I look at him straight in the eye

you do I look at him straight in the eye and I say man I'm not crazy I'm just not

and I say man I'm not crazy I'm just not you I'm just not who you are who you

you I'm just not who you are who you want to be I have a responsibility man

want to be I have a responsibility man and I gotta [ __ ] take that seriously

and I gotta [ __ ] take that seriously well people like to look at people that

well people like to look at people that are pushing further than them and harder

are pushing further than them and harder than them like there's something wrong

than them like there's something wrong with you yep you must be crazy got be

with you yep you must be crazy got be crazy gota be crazy I love crazy though

crazy gota be crazy I love crazy though my favorite people are crazy

my favorite people are crazy yes you know but I don't I don't look at

yes you know but I don't I don't look at it as a negative I look at it as a

it as a negative I look at it as a strength it is I I see a person who's

strength it is I I see a person who's willing to go to that dark matter place

willing to go to that dark matter place I go oh I like that oh yeah I like that

I go oh I like that oh yeah I like that but you went there during sober October

but you went there during sober October man you went there you went there so

man you went there you went there so how' that feel man when you [ __ ] were

how' that feel man when you [ __ ] were going into those Journeys into those

going into those Journeys into those compartments well what I like about it

compartments well what I like about it is that you had to do it every day you

is that you had to do it every day you know and so I just every day would you

know and so I just every day would you know know it was coming go hey all right

know know it was coming go hey all right here we go time to get going and every

here we go time to get going and every day just get after it in some crazy way

day just get after it in some crazy way one of my favorite things is the thing

one of my favorite things is the thing that I hate the most it's airdine

that I hate the most it's airdine Sprints I do those Tabata sprints on the

Sprints I do those Tabata sprints on the airdine machine oh the [ __ ] Echo Bike

airdine machine oh the [ __ ] Echo Bike yeah the Echo Bike from Rogue 20 second

yeah the Echo Bike from Rogue 20 second Sprints 10 second rest 20 second do

Sprints 10 second rest 20 second do cycles of eight so eight rounds of that

cycles of eight so eight rounds of that and then I would do another one and

and then I would do another one and another one and another one I was doing

another one and another one I was doing an hour at that that's [ __ ] brutal

an hour at that that's [ __ ] brutal so hard but it but when it was done I'm

so hard but it but when it was done I'm standing in a puddle I'm completely

standing in a puddle I'm completely drenched but that feeling of getting

drenched but that feeling of getting through this cu the last Cycles when

through this cu the last Cycles when you're doing like and you look like cuz

you're doing like and you look like cuz the Rogue bike will show you like you've

the Rogue bike will show you like you've done three which means you have to you

done three which means you have to you have to do five more of these Sprints

have to do five more of these Sprints and that 10 seconds just non-existent

and that 10 seconds just non-existent she

she like and then tekken's

like it's it's so quick and then you're back at it again those last ones are so

back at it again those last ones are so hard but when you get through it the

hard but when you get through it the rest of the day is so much better that's

rest of the day is so much better that's like fight training man because the

like fight training man because the month of November all I've been doing is

month of November all I've been doing is drinking really oh man I've been working

drinking really oh man I've been working out still working out but we're doing a

out still working out but we're doing a lot of drinking and I'm like this I got

lot of drinking and I'm like this I got to stop so I woke up today because

to stop so I woke up today because today's December 1st I'm like I'm not

today's December 1st I'm like I'm not drinking this month I'll have a glass of

drinking this month I'll have a glass of wine on Christmas or something like that

wine on Christmas or something like that but this month I'm back to the Grind are

but this month I'm back to the Grind are you cuz yeah yeah cuz I enjoyed October

you cuz yeah yeah cuz I enjoyed October this

this suck when it's over it's life is better

suck when it's over it's life is better well you know you just got to get

well you know you just got to get through the suck that's right and then

through the suck that's right and then life is better but the thing that gets

life is better but the thing that gets me is the level of I don't give a [ __ ]

me is the level of I don't give a [ __ ] and anxi the less the the lack of

and anxi the less the the lack of anxiety that comes after you work out

anxiety that comes after you work out every day is so worth the workout you're

every day is so worth the workout you're so calm so calm the only thing that

so calm so calm the only thing that changes your [ __ ]

changes your [ __ ] DNA is discipline yes dis the only thing

DNA is discipline yes dis the only thing that changes your DNA man is the only

that changes your DNA man is the only thing only thing man you could be

thing only thing man you could be [ __ ] so [ __ ] up and I realized that

[ __ ] so [ __ ] up and I realized that man I was like man the only thing that

man I was like man the only thing that changeed my DNA is discipline know what

changeed my DNA is discipline know what I'm saying I've Incorporated a new thing

I'm saying I've Incorporated a new thing that I was telling you where I get up

that I was telling you where I get up first thing in the morning I get in the

first thing in the morning I get in the cold plunge cuz I was doing the cold

cold plunge cuz I was doing the cold plunge after I did the sauna and it's a

plunge after I did the sauna and it's a little easier cuz the sauna sucks right

little easier cuz the sauna sucks right but you know when that 20 minutes is up

but you know when that 20 minutes is up or 25 minutes is up and then you get in

or 25 minutes is up and then you get in that cold the cold sucks but it doesn't

that cold the cold sucks but it doesn't suck suck as much as when you're cold

suck suck as much as when you're cold and then you get in the cold so when I

and then you get in the cold so when I wake up in the morning I don't dress

wake up in the morning I don't dress warm I wear my [ __ ] underwear and I

warm I wear my [ __ ] underwear and I go outside and it's 40° this morning and

go outside and it's 40° this morning and I walk out and I lift the lid on that

I walk out and I lift the lid on that morosgo cold plunge and I see the

morosgo cold plunge and I see the [ __ ] ice floating up in there and

[ __ ] ice floating up in there and every day I climb in that's brutal and I

every day I climb in that's brutal and I just get in there for 3 minutes in the

just get in there for 3 minutes in the morning and then I work out that's

morning and then I work out that's [ __ ] brutal because I read this thing

[ __ ] brutal because I read this thing um I'll send it to you Jamie but I read

um I'll send it to you Jamie but I read this thing where uh they've been doing

this thing where uh they've been doing studies on what happens to people Andrew

studies on what happens to people Andrew huberman and I actually discussed this

huberman and I actually discussed this and huberman's a very interesting guy

and huberman's a very interesting guy but um it's about the benefits of cold

but um it's about the benefits of cold plunge before you

plunge before you actually work out really yeah cuz

actually work out really yeah cuz there's a benefit after you work out in

there's a benefit after you work out in terms of reduction of inflammation but

terms of reduction of inflammation but what they're saying is you shouldn't do

what they're saying is you shouldn't do it right after you lift weights got it

it right after you lift weights got it got it because then Muses yeah it it

got it because then Muses yeah it it actually decreases the hypertrophy so

actually decreases the hypertrophy so you don't gain as much mass or gain as

you don't gain as much mass or gain as much strength but there's some benefit

much strength but there's some benefit to doing it before you work out I think

to doing it before you work out I think there's a a link involved in that

there's a a link involved in that too so anyway this is a

too so anyway this is a guy uh who's talking about prostate

guy uh who's talking about prostate specific antigen blood te test came back

specific antigen blood te test came back uh very high and everyone said that he

uh very high and everyone said that he had to get a biopsy and he said the

had to get a biopsy and he said the story I've heard about old older men

story I've heard about old older men getting biopsies in prostate ectomies

getting biopsies in prostate ectomies sounded like nightmares to him so he

sounded like nightmares to him so he decided to try to manage his PSA with

decided to try to manage his PSA with ketosis and Ice baths so it worked his

ketosis and Ice baths so it worked his PSA dropped from over seven to less than

PSA dropped from over seven to less than one and along the way a funny thing

one and along the way a funny thing happened to his testosterone it went

happened to his testosterone it went through the roof to 1140 which is crazy

through the roof to 1140 which is crazy high his he said my urologist didn't

high his he said my urologist didn't believe me he thought I must be juicing

believe me he thought I must be juicing so he had my luteinizing hor hormones

so he had my luteinizing hor hormones tested 2 sure enough 8.9 is off the

tested 2 sure enough 8.9 is off the charts for a fat guy in his 50s he said

charts for a fat guy in his 50s he said then I did a research and I discovered a

then I did a research and I discovered a Japanese study from 1991 that showed the

Japanese study from 1991 that showed the secret was exercising after your ice

secret was exercising after your ice bath it's the opposite of what everybody

bath it's the opposite of what everybody says to do which is exactly how I got

says to do which is exactly how I got this far in the first place he said now

this far in the first place he said now I'm stuck with the tea levels of an

I'm stuck with the tea levels of an oversex 19yearold I'm not complaining

oversex 19yearold I'm not complaining damn but so this is the thing that um

damn but so this is the thing that um people realizing now there's some

people realizing now there's some extreme benefit to

extreme benefit to heavyduty S here this extreme benefit to

heavyduty S here this extreme benefit to heavy duty cold exposure right and then

heavy duty cold exposure right and then you force your body to heat up and then

you force your body to heat up and then you work

out there so so you know I'm trying that now and I've only done it three days in

now and I've only done it three days in a row well how's it working it's working

a row well how's it working it's working it's hard but the the the but part of it

it's hard but the the the but part of it is just the the fact that you have to do

is just the the fact that you have to do it in the like I'm not giving myself any

it in the like I'm not giving myself any mornings off so I have that's how I

mornings off so I have that's how I start my day now whereas before I was

start my day now whereas before I was working out so the workout I ease myself

working out so the workout I ease myself into the workout get on the bike warm up

into the workout get on the bike warm up jump a little rope start the kettle bell

jump a little rope start the kettle bell routine do all the things you got to do

routine do all the things you got to do but now it's just right into the suck so

but now it's just right into the suck so it's it's harder I tell you right now

it's it's harder I tell you right now man the [ __ ] cold being in cold water

man the [ __ ] cold being in cold water cold ice water it literally is the one

cold ice water it literally is the one thing that makes you question everything

thing that makes you question everything when you're going through hard training

when you're going through hard training and [ __ ] like that

and [ __ ] like that you know I've been through a lot of

you know I've been through a lot of different training the military and that

different training the military and that cold water it definitely many dreams die

cold water it definitely many dreams die while

while suffering that should be a t-shirt many

suffering that should be a t-shirt many dreams die while suffering my friend

dreams die while suffering my friend that's so true I talk about it man like

that's so true I talk about it man like this this [ __ ] guys getting that

this this [ __ ] guys getting that water and you see their [ __ ] eyes

water and you see their [ __ ] eyes roll back and I'm like oh yeah many

roll back and I'm like oh yeah many dreams die while suffering friend yeah

dreams die while suffering friend yeah [ __ ] I was trying to talk to Jamie about

[ __ ] I was trying to talk to Jamie about it Jamie it's [ __ ] cold

it Jamie it's [ __ ] cold I'll do cold it's just like there's a

I'll do cold it's just like there's a level of cold I want to ease myself into

level of cold I want to ease myself into it I don't want to just start in the

it I don't want to just start in the worst that might be the best way to do

worst that might be the best way to do it Jamie yeah that's what tell got jump

it Jamie yeah that's what tell got jump in that I did I just I just couldn't go

in that I did I just I just couldn't go like below my

like below my knees

knees yeah there man hey man once that pecker

yeah there man hey man once that pecker gets cold boy it's real I know I know

gets cold boy it's real I know I know yeah it's all real I go right up to the

yeah it's all real I go right up to the chin I want that water right there oh

chin I want that water right there oh that's legit right there man if it's

that's legit right there man if it's real legit you go under Hicks and Gracie

real legit you go under Hicks and Gracie he puts a snorkel on really yeah Hixon

he puts a snorkel on really yeah Hixon gets in that water for a couple minutes

gets in that water for a couple minutes under the water with the snorkel on he

under the water with the snorkel on he likes that [ __ ] huh Hixon hixon's an

likes that [ __ ] huh Hixon hixon's an intense [ __ ] So speaking of that

intense [ __ ] So speaking of that who's the best ever oh the best ever in

who's the best ever oh the best ever in MMA ever an MMA it's hard to say there's

MMA ever an MMA it's hard to say there's a lot of candidates you know I've always

a lot of candidates you know I've always said Mighty Mouse is one of my Best Bets

said Mighty Mouse is one of my Best Bets CU he was so goddamn good and he's still

CU he was so goddamn good and he's still so godamn good now but now he's fighting

so godamn good now but now he's fighting in one FC but he was a flyweight

in one FC but he was a flyweight Champion for a long time and his he was

Champion for a long time and his he was the highest level of expression of mixed

the highest level of expression of mixed martial arts ability that I'd ever seen

martial arts ability that I'd ever seen but he's also fighting guys that are

but he's also fighting guys that are much lighter they're 125 pounds you know

much lighter they're 125 pounds you know everyone's very quick but he was just so

everyone's very quick but he was just so skillful but then there's Jon Jones Jon

skillful but then there's Jon Jones Jon Jones really never lost that's a nasty

Jones really never lost that's a nasty [ __ ] he's a nasty [ __ ]

[ __ ] he's a nasty [ __ ] and you know really Jon Jones [ __ ] off

and you know really Jon Jones [ __ ] off you want to talk about a guy who just

you want to talk about a guy who just did it by talent and will

did it by talent and will Jon Jones beat Alexander Guston without

Jon Jones beat Alexander Guston without training unbeli basically didn't train

training unbeli basically didn't train there's a few guys like that there's a

there's a few guys like that there's a guy named Ryan span who's out there

guy named Ryan span who's out there right now who just [ __ ] up Dominic

right now who just [ __ ] up Dominic Reyes and Dominic Reyes was the one guy

Reyes and Dominic Reyes was the one guy who took Jon Jones to the Limit Dominic

who took Jon Jones to the Limit Dominic Reyes uh went on a series of losses

Reyes uh went on a series of losses after that fight but he had this fight

after that fight but he had this fight with Jon Jones and took Jon Jones to the

with Jon Jones and took Jon Jones to the [ __ ] limit and a lot of people

[ __ ] limit and a lot of people thought he won that decision then he

thought he won that decision then he went on after that fight got got knocked

went on after that fight got got knocked out by Yan bovich who became the light

out by Yan bovich who became the light heavyweight champion got knocked out by

heavyweight champion got knocked out by Yuri prasa and then just got lit up by

Yuri prasa and then just got lit up by Ryan span and Ryan span is this guy

Ryan span and Ryan span is this guy who's always been Ultra Ultra talented

who's always been Ultra Ultra talented right but just was always afraid of

right but just was always afraid of running out of gas didn't train didn't

running out of gas didn't train didn't really put in camps just had a lot of

really put in camps just had a lot of ability and a lot of technique right in

ability and a lot of technique right in his last fight he fought Dominic Reyes

his last fight he fought Dominic Reyes and he put in a full training camp for

and he put in a full training camp for the first time ever and just [ __ ]

the first time ever and just [ __ ] Dominic Reyes up just lit him up like a

Dominic Reyes up just lit him up like a Christmas tree in the first round and

Christmas tree in the first round and put him away so you're talking about a

put him away so you're talking about a guy who beat you know many people's eyes

guy who beat you know many people's eyes should have won a decision against John

should have won a decision against John Jones right and then Ryan span just

Jones right and then Ryan span just takes him out in the first round easy

takes him out in the first round easy quick because he finally worked hard

quick because he finally worked hard well there's something about that full

well there's something about that full training camp man yes there's something

training camp man yes there's something about going out no phone yes up in the

about going out no phone yes up in the [ __ ] mountains away from civilization

[ __ ] mountains away from civilization away from the bacon and eggs the silk

away from the bacon and eggs the silk sheets the [ __ ] five star resorts the

sheets the [ __ ] five star resorts the [ __ ] everybody knowing you sign

[ __ ] everybody knowing you sign autographs and [ __ ] Dark Matter dude

autographs and [ __ ] Dark Matter dude Dark Matter like a [ __ ] the

Dark Matter like a [ __ ] the further you [ __ ] drive out your house

further you [ __ ] drive out your house and start going up in that [ __ ]

and start going up in that [ __ ] Mountain Man you start

Mountain Man you start to that [ __ ] mind starts to click

to that [ __ ] mind starts to click over man you get a full Camp up in some

over man you get a full Camp up in some [ __ ] Dark Matter Place yep it's

[ __ ] Dark Matter Place yep it's [ __ ] over bro there's a reason why so

[ __ ] over bro there's a reason why so many guys would go up to Big Bear that's

many guys would go up to Big Bear that's where genady Golovkin used to go up

where genady Golovkin used to go up there can't Brea in that mother Ali used

there can't Brea in that mother Ali used to go to the Poconos Ali or um Tyson

to go to the Poconos Ali or um Tyson rather would go to the cat skills a lot

rather would go to the cat skills a lot of guys would do that lot of evil up in

of guys would do that lot of evil up in them [ __ ] mountains boring cat skills

them [ __ ] mountains boring cat skills it's also this nature oh yeah cuz like

it's also this nature oh yeah cuz like nature doesn't give a [ __ ] about you and

nature doesn't give a [ __ ] about you and there's something you realize when

there's something you realize when you're running a mountain and you know

you're running a mountain and you know you see Eagles Fly nobody gives a [ __ ]

you see Eagles Fly nobody gives a [ __ ] about you up there no one there's no

about you up there no one there's no press no one's watching that's a

press no one's watching that's a beautiful thing man that's when you

beautiful thing man that's when you really know who you are yeah when you

really know who you are yeah when you get up there there's no like the coach

get up there there's no like the coach is probably back a little bit you got

is probably back a little bit you got your little run by yourself and [ __ ] you

your little run by yourself and [ __ ] you figure out a lot you figure out a lot

figure out a lot you figure out a lot man you start to figure out lot of

man you start to figure out lot of [ __ ] problems up there by yourself

[ __ ] problems up there by yourself yeah so this I don't to answer your

yeah so this I don't to answer your question I don't think there is a

question I don't think there is a greatest ever because there's different

greatest ever because there's different weight classes you're right khabib

weight classes you're right khabib definitely is in the conversation he's

definitely is in the conversation he's the only like really Elite guy to retire

the only like really Elite guy to retire undefeated that's a nasty [ __ ]

undefeated that's a nasty [ __ ] oh he was so good dude dud there's

oh he was so good dude dud there's something about looking at that

something about looking at that [ __ ] like I love these guys who

[ __ ] like I love these guys who you can look in their eyes you can tell

you can look in their eyes you can tell something ain't right hard as Nails you

something ain't right hard as Nails you can tell something's [ __ ] right

can tell something's [ __ ] right something ain't right and that's in a

something ain't right and that's in a good way

good way right the way when he fought Conor

right the way when he fought Conor McGregor and they were booing him at the

McGregor and they were booing him at the weighs and he goes I'm going to smash

weighs and he goes I'm going to smash your boy you should play that

your boy you should play that interview play that interview because

interview play that interview because when I'm talking to him and he they're

when I'm talking to him and he they're all booing and CH it's like they're all

all booing and CH it's like they're all Conor McGregor fans they flew in from

Conor McGregor fans they flew in from Ireland I mean this is a big fight and

Ireland I mean this is a big fight and he's like I'm gonna smash your boy

he's like I'm gonna smash your boy alhamdulillah I'm going to smash your

alhamdulillah I'm going to smash your boy play

boy play this look at them booing

this look at them booing him kib what does this fight mean to you

him kib what does this fight mean to you to defend your title tomorrow it's so

to defend your title tomorrow it's so loud there that's why I'm scream it's so

loud there that's why I'm scream it's so loud first of all I want to say

loud first of all I want to say alhamdulillah God gave me everything

alhamdulillah God gave me everything alhamdulillah I know you got this don't

alhamdulillah I know you got this don't like this alhamdulillah tomorrow night

like this alhamdulillah tomorrow night I'm going to smash your boy guys I'm

I'm going to smash your boy guys I'm going to smash your boy and I want to

going to smash your boy and I want to say thank you all Irish fans you know

say thank you all Irish fans you know all fans around the world because of you

all fans around the world because of you guys this fight is happened thank you

guys this fight is happened thank you guys and tomorrow night inshah and still

guys and tomorrow night inshah and still thank you sir good luck to you the

thank you sir good luck to you the champion ladies and gentlemen thank you

champion ladies and gentlemen thank you all tomorrow I'm going to smash your boy

all tomorrow I'm going to smash your boy Jesus dud and that's what he did he was

Jesus dud and that's what he did he was on top of him pounding him going let's

on top of him pounding him going let's talk now cuz Conor saying theight play

talk now cuz Conor saying theight play that play that he's on top of him

that play that he's on top of him punching him in the face go let's talk

punching him in the face go let's talk let's now beating the [ __ ] out of him

let's now beating the [ __ ] out of him that's some Next Level fck now let's

that's some Next Level fck now let's talk now and Conor was like look

at we're talking let let's talk now let's

talk let's talk now oh my

now oh my God

God stop st hey stop stop Conor is saying

stop st hey stop stop Conor is saying it's only business and khabib says you

it's only business and khabib says you tired let's

tired let's talk Jesus dude he brought that [ __ ] to

talk Jesus dude he brought that [ __ ] to another level man yeah well he used that

another level man yeah well he used that as fuel he took no [ __ ] mental Aid

as fuel he took no [ __ ] mental Aid stations in the training camp no no no

stations in the training camp no no no no he was a bad [ __ ] and then

no he was a bad [ __ ] and then when his father died he told his mother

when his father died he told his mother he was going to fight one more time and

he was going to fight one more time and that's it so he's in his prime still

that's it so he's in his prime still right now he's in his physical prime and

right now he's in his physical prime and he's like told his mom he's GNA he's

he's like told his mom he's GNA he's done he's not coming back you don't

done he's not coming back you don't think well his Protege is Islam ma makev

think well his Protege is Islam ma makev who's now the new UFC lightweight

who's now the new UFC lightweight champion and Islam is as good as him in

champion and Islam is as good as him in that same realm w i mean remains to be

that same realm w i mean remains to be seen whether or not Islam can have a

seen whether or not Islam can have a Reign the way he did but he just beat

Reign the way he did but he just beat Charles Oliva was one of the best ever

Charles Oliva was one of the best ever and he just ran through him to win the

and he just ran through him to win the title that's a bad dude too man ol is a

title that's a bad dude too man ol is a bad [ __ ] and olera is an

bad [ __ ] and olera is an interesting case too because Ola used to

interesting case too because Ola used to be kind of a quitter yeah I know he kind

be kind of a quitter yeah I know he kind of fell apart in many fights early in

of fell apart in many fights early in his career and then he had the birth of

his career and then he had the birth of his daughter and then changed his

his daughter and then changed his [ __ ] entire life changed the way he

[ __ ] entire life changed the way he fought changed his mentality changed his

fought changed his mentality changed his his discipline and his focus and then

his discipline and his focus and then became this [ __ ] who just

became this [ __ ] who just dominating everybody olera I believe

dominating everybody olera I believe he's 33 see find out with if that's

he's 33 see find out with if that's accurate so are there some are there

accurate so are there some are there some old Fighters right now who are

some old Fighters right now who are still kicking

still kicking ass yes yam bovich um Glover toer

ass yes yam bovich um Glover toer just lost the light heavyweight title at

just lost the light heavyweight title at 42 he won it at 42 and then lost it to

42 he won it at 42 and then lost it to Yuri brovka in a very very close fight

Yuri brovka in a very very close fight yeah he's 33 olera is 33 you know what's

yeah he's 33 olera is 33 you know what's funny about that man but I see these

funny about that man but I see these older guys who are still [ __ ]

older guys who are still [ __ ] grinding hard people ask about father

grinding hard people ask about father time yeah father time doesn't get you

time yeah father time doesn't get you man it's father

man it's father fatigue it's father fatigue man like I

fatigue it's father fatigue man like I see these guys who have been in sports

see these guys who have been in sports for a long time fighting or basketball

for a long time fighting or basketball football whatever it is yeah and it's

football whatever it is yeah and it's that grind

that grind it's that everyday waking up grind it's

it's that everyday waking up grind it's not it's it's not father time man it's

not it's it's not father time man it's it's the fact that you know I got to go

it's the fact that you know I got to go do it again yeah I got to do it again so

do it again yeah I got to do it again so a lot of these guys are fighting father

a lot of these guys are fighting father fatigue and they're doing a good job of

fatigue and they're doing a good job of doing it I think there's many factors

doing it I think there's many factors there's father fatigue there's father

there's father fatigue there's father enthusiasm that's right but then there's

enthusiasm that's right but then there's also injuries there's you so many of

also injuries there's you so many of these guys are fighting with [ __ ] up

these guys are fighting with [ __ ] up backs and [ __ ] up knees and [ __ ] up

backs and [ __ ] up knees and [ __ ] up elbows and [ __ ] up hands and you don't

elbows and [ __ ] up hands and you don't know that when you see them because they

know that when you see them because they look jacked they look ripped right in

look jacked they look ripped right in their head they know I got to be careful

their head they know I got to be careful if I move to the side on my right side

if I move to the side on my right side cuz my knee's [ __ ] I know all about

cuz my knee's [ __ ] I know all about that I got to be careful if I get kicked

that I got to be careful if I get kicked in the legs because this is [ __ ] I got

in the legs because this is [ __ ] I got to be yeah and there's a lot of guys

to be yeah and there's a lot of guys that also been they taking too many

that also been they taking too many shots and they can't take a punch

shots and they can't take a punch anymore right that happens to guys and

anymore right that happens to guys and then you see they get dinged once and

then you see they get dinged once and they get wobbly where so what the [ __ ]

they get wobbly where so what the [ __ ] happens with that man I started seeing

happens with that man I started seeing guys who [ __ ] been getting hit a lot

guys who [ __ ] been getting hit a lot yeah they can't take a hit anymore man

yeah they can't take a hit anymore man like they'll [ __ ] go out quick lot of

like they'll [ __ ] go out quick lot of speculation and um one of the things

speculation and um one of the things they say is that they believe that at

they say is that they believe that at certain point in time your brain tries

certain point in time your brain tries to protect you from the punishment and

to protect you from the punishment and just shut off like that your your your

just shut off like that your your your body realizes like this dude is too

body realizes like this dude is too strong mentally he's too tough and he'll

strong mentally he's too tough and he'll just absorb shots and is just ruining

just absorb shots and is just ruining our brain so when you get hit your brain

our brain so when you get hit your brain is like check please wow and your brain

is like check please wow and your brain will shut off and then the other that's

will shut off and then the other that's a optimistic perspective got it the

a optimistic perspective got it the other less optimistic perspective is

other less optimistic perspective is that you are destroying your mind and

that you are destroying your mind and that your mind is simply not resilient

that your mind is simply not resilient anymore and you can't take a shot

anymore and you can't take a shot anymore because you've damaged all the

anymore because you've damaged all the connective tissue that's holding the

connective tissue that's holding the [ __ ] brain in place and you've also

[ __ ] brain in place and you've also created so much CTE and so much swelling

created so much CTE and so much swelling and so that one shot can take you out

and so that one shot can take you out there's also on top of that one of the

there's also on top of that one of the big problems with MMA is the weight

big problems with MMA is the weight cutting so the weight cutting is which

cutting so the weight cutting is which what everybody does they they drain

what everybody does they they drain themselves 24 hours before the fight

themselves 24 hours before the fight when in say oh he weighs 170 lbs like

when in say oh he weighs 170 lbs like guys like kamaro Usman who's giant for

guys like kamaro Usman who's giant for 170 he's 170 for like 20 minutes how

170 he's 170 for like 20 minutes how much does he weigh like walking the

much does he weigh like walking the street 200 lb 200 lb easy so does he

street 200 lb 200 lb easy so does he come back in the ring about 190 200 he's

come back in the ring about 190 200 he's in the90s for sure yeah lean as [ __ ]

in the90s for sure yeah lean as [ __ ] shredded is a [ __ ] but

shredded is a [ __ ] but dehydrated like hell to make 170 there's

dehydrated like hell to make 170 there's he's not ever really 170 wow he's 170 be

he's not ever really 170 wow he's 170 be like totally sucked up I mean also

like totally sucked up I mean also cramping you know it's terrible to do

cramping you know it's terrible to do that 24 hours before you have a cage

that 24 hours before you have a cage fight is so crazy [ __ ] up so those

fight is so crazy [ __ ] up so those take a toll so if you're 35 37 39 all

take a toll so if you're 35 37 39 all these guys that have been doing that

these guys that have been doing that their whole life every time you cut that

their whole life every time you cut that weight it takes a little chip off the

weight it takes a little chip off the old block every time every time it takes

old block every time every time it takes it's another chop into the tree trunk

it's another chop into the tree trunk got it just your foundation and it's

got it just your foundation and it's just little minor things every training

just little minor things every training camp you go through you know can you do

camp you go through you know can you do another one you know your back is [ __ ]

another one you know your back is [ __ ] up you get out of bed like this

up you get out of bed like this like it's like little micro injuries

like it's like little micro injuries that are constantly piling up you know

that are constantly piling up you know we were talking about hickon Gracie

we were talking about hickon Gracie earlier Hixon can can't really even roll

earlier Hixon can can't really even roll hard anymore he's in the 60s and he's

hard anymore he's in the 60s and he's got these injuries all over his back is

got these injuries all over his back is all [ __ ] up it's like all those years

all [ __ ] up it's like all those years of Jiu-Jitsu that Gracie shit's no joke

of Jiu-Jitsu that Gracie shit's no joke though M them [ __ ] that family

though M them [ __ ] that family they change the world the world this

they change the world the world this little 160 lb [ __ ] man this

little 160 lb [ __ ] man this little [ __ ] can't even see him

little [ __ ] can't even see him under some of these fat [ __ ]

under some of these fat [ __ ] this [ __ ] finger finger [ __ ]

this [ __ ] finger finger [ __ ] locking you out man [ __ ] get you

locking you out man [ __ ] get you in a pinky lock bro like where is he

in a pinky lock bro like where is he tapping from why is he tapping I can't

tapping from why is he tapping I can't even see you know Gracie got

even see you know Gracie got [ __ ] a pinky

[ __ ] a pinky loot this [ __ ] was nasty dude T they

loot this [ __ ] was nasty dude T they taught the world Jiu-Jitsu the world

taught the world Jiu-Jitsu the world didn't know Jiu-Jitsu is the only

didn't know Jiu-Jitsu is the only martial art that people had ever

martial art that people had ever experienced that did what was advertised

experienced that did what was advertised right what was advertised was that a

right what was advertised was that a small skillful person could beat a

small skillful person could beat a larger stronger opponent who didn't know

larger stronger opponent who didn't know the techniques well he proved it he

the techniques well he proved it he proved it boy Gracie proved it in the

proved it boy Gracie proved it in the UFC and he changed martial arts forever

UFC and he changed martial arts forever and that that family's probably the most

and that that family's probably the most consequential the most important

consequential the most important significant family in the history of

significant family in the history of martial arts the Gracie family changed

martial arts the Gracie family changed martial arts worldwide it's funny man

martial arts worldwide it's funny man about you know there's so many people

about you know there's so many people out here who uh who are very successful

out here who uh who are very successful and they talk about I mean Super money

and they talk about I mean Super money great familyship they talk about that

great familyship they talk about that that they're missing something that

that they're missing something that there's something in their life that

there's something in their life that they're missing and they and they talk

they're missing and they and they talk to me about that [ __ ] and I mentioned

to me about that [ __ ] and I mentioned the Gracies it seemed like they they had

the Gracies it seemed like they they had this it was about money it was about

this it was about money it was about nothing man they're like Grassroots

nothing man they're like Grassroots [ __ ] and that's what I always

[ __ ] and that's what I always tell people that they're missing that

tell people that they're missing that they're missing that desire

they're missing that desire like those guys had a passion and a

like those guys had a passion and a [ __ ] obsess that's the word Obsession

[ __ ] obsess that's the word Obsession Obsession and I guarantee you man those

Obsession and I guarantee you man those [ __ ] don't have those

[ __ ] don't have those conversations I feel like I'm missing

conversations I feel like I'm missing something right they're not they're not

something right they're not they're not missing [ __ ] dude no no they they they

missing [ __ ] dude no no they they they got it figured out man well Hixon in

got it figured out man well Hixon in particular cuz Hixon was Ho's older

particular cuz Hixon was Ho's older brother who was everybody says is the

brother who was everybody says is the greatest of all time really from that

greatest of all time really from that era yeah he was there was never been a

era yeah he was there was never been a time other than today there's a time

time other than today there's a time right now with Gordon Ryan which is very

right now with Gordon Ryan which is very rare it's very rare where someone comes

rare it's very rare where someone comes along and everybody says this is the

along and everybody says this is the baddest [ __ ] alive no if ANS or

baddest [ __ ] alive no if ANS or questions about and back then when Hixon

questions about and back then when Hixon was in his prime you ask any black belt

was in his prime you ask any black belt anywhere in the world they're like

anywhere in the world they're like hixon's the man hixon's the man and he

hixon's the man hixon's the man and he was a yogi he all this crazy breath work

was a yogi he all this crazy breath work that he would do he figured out the

that he would do he figured out the physical as well as the mental far

physical as well as the mental far beyond where everybody else was willing

beyond where everybody else was willing to track travel and there's a great

to track travel and there's a great documentary people are interested in

documentary people are interested in Hickson Gracie called choke hixon's been

Hickson Gracie called choke hixon's been on the podcast a couple of times but

on the podcast a couple of times but there's a great documentary called choke

there's a great documentary called choke that followed him when he was in his

that followed him when he was in his prime in the 1990s competing in Japan

prime in the 1990s competing in Japan and uh one of the things he does in that

and uh one of the things he does in that documentary he gets in a frozen glacial

documentary he gets in a frozen glacial River and he just sits down and he's

River and he just sits down and he's meditating In this River up to his neck

meditating In this River up to his neck of this [ __ ] 30 Dee water just

of this [ __ ] 30 Dee water just washing over him and he's just be Talent

washing over him and he's just be Talent bro he's like thank you my Lord thank

bro he's like thank you my Lord thank you my Lord and he's just like just

you my Lord and he's just like just taking it all in it's beyond Talent

taking it all in it's beyond Talent that's badass there there's so much

that's badass there there's so much involved there's Talent there's

involved there's Talent there's discipline there's the Mind focus and

discipline there's the Mind focus and there's also the Brilliance of his

there's also the Brilliance of his ability to interpret and understand

ability to interpret and understand technique right there was so many things

technique right there was so many things that's badass and this is the the case

that's badass and this is the the case with Gordon Ryan today who's arguably

with Gordon Ryan today who's arguably the greatest of all time and Gordon is a

the greatest of all time and Gordon is a lot bigger than everybody that was you

lot bigger than everybody that was you know like Hixon was at his prime was

know like Hixon was at his prime was about 200 lbs Gordon's like 240 and you

about 200 lbs Gordon's like 240 and you know Gordon is utilizing modern training

know Gordon is utilizing modern training methods and 365 days a year he trains

methods and 365 days a year he trains doesn't take any days off this is Hixon

doesn't take any days off this is Hixon in the the Frozen glacial

in the the Frozen glacial River that's his brother hoer who's also

River that's his brother hoer who's also one of the greats that that's that

one of the greats that that's that Gracie family man never been a family

Gracie family man never been a family like never been a family like it in

like never been a family like it in martial arts you just have like never

martial arts you just have like never will be Army of killers that's it yeah I

will be Army of killers that's it yeah I mean look at him snorkel yep that's what

mean look at him snorkel yep that's what he likes to do is to get under that

he likes to do is to get under that water and he does that with a cold

water and he does that with a cold plunge too know what's what's crazy that

plunge too know what's what's crazy that so many people would never understand

so many people would never understand that kind of discipline or that kind

that kind of discipline or that kind of that kind of human being that wants

of that kind of human being that wants to go to the stratosphere yeah they'll

to go to the stratosphere yeah they'll never they'll always be misunderstood

never they'll always be misunderstood man always you can't even that's why a

man always you can't even that's why a lot of times when I talk to people I

lot of times when I talk to people I can't I can't have a conversation with a

can't I can't have a conversation with a lot of people man because you're going

lot of people man because you're going to walk away like why do you do it David

to walk away like why do you do it David why don't you just take a break you

why don't you just take a break you deserve a break David take a nap that's

deserve a break David take a nap that's it did you ever have a piece of

pie why don't you put your feet up why rest a little you think one day you'll

rest a little you think one day you'll get fat that's it you should let

get fat that's it you should let yourself get fat dude you're being funny

yourself get fat dude you're being funny as [ __ ] B the truest of all [ __ ]

as [ __ ] B the truest of all [ __ ] statements oh yeah dude I don't do

statements oh yeah dude I don't do nearly as much as you and I get it dude

nearly as much as you and I get it dude right I'm like you you would never

right I'm like you you would never understand that's why we'll never talk

understand that's why we'll never talk yeah you'll never get it so that's why I

yeah you'll never get it so that's why I don't have conversations with people man

don't have conversations with people man those are brutal conversations with

those are brutal conversations with people that like what I don't understand

people that like what I don't understand what your motivation is what what are

what your motivation is what what are you chasing I haven't been on a podcast

you chasing I haven't been on a podcast years you insecure where you running

years you insecure where you running from where you running from David where

from where you running from David where you going you know you get there faster

you going you know you get there faster in a car in the car oh I get that a lot

in a car in the car oh I get that a lot that's the one I get a lot I get that a

that's the one I get a lot I get that a lot and and they're joking I'm like and

lot and and they're joking I'm like and I don't find this [ __ ] funny like you

I don't find this [ __ ] funny like you [ __ ] man it's so dumb it's dumb

[ __ ] man it's so dumb it's dumb as [ __ ] man but whenever you some

as [ __ ] man but whenever you some someone who's that wild and that far

someone who's that wild and that far beyond where most people are willing to

beyond where most people are willing to go you're going to you're going to run

go you're going to you're going to run into normies well it's like

into normies well it's like [ __ ] go into the circle breaker

[ __ ] go into the circle breaker man and they go in there and start

man and they go in there and start rewiring their brain they go in and say

rewiring their brain they go in and say like like like that [ __ ] right

like like like that [ __ ] right there with the snorkel and [ __ ] yeah oh

there with the snorkel and [ __ ] yeah oh no man I got to put this over here yeah

no man I got to put this over here yeah this circuit needs to be there that

this circuit needs to be there that needs to be there you're totally

needs to be there you're totally rewiring how the whole brain works to

rewiring how the whole brain works to not to not feel sorry for yourself to

not to not feel sorry for yourself to ignore pain to ignore discomfort to push

ignore pain to ignore discomfort to push your place you know to push your mind

your place you know to push your mind place that people don't even [ __ ]

place that people don't even [ __ ] want to talk about they can't fathom and

want to talk about they can't fathom and it's what you talk about with knowledge

it's what you talk about with knowledge yep that's what it is this knowledge

yep that's what it is this knowledge it's understanding of those feelings

it's understanding of those feelings that's it and the only way you

that's it and the only way you understand that those feelings are rare

understand that those feelings are rare they don't come up all the time all day

they don't come up all the time all day long you wouldn't be able to deal with

long you wouldn't be able to deal with them right so most people don't know

them right so most people don't know what to do with those feelings they're

what to do with those feelings they're not around them enough but you're around

not around them enough but you're around them constantly right Hixon was around

them constantly right Hixon was around them constantly it's like get in those

them constantly it's like get in those things then you learn about them you get

things then you learn about them you get a map of the territory that's it you get

a map of the territory that's it you get a blueprint yeah and the second day

a blueprint yeah and the second day surface when you're [ __ ] getting

surface when you're [ __ ] getting choked out I've seen so many see I love

choked out I've seen so many see I love watching fights man cuz I I see them and

watching fights man cuz I I see them and I start to see okay you're in a bad

I start to see okay you're in a bad situation man and I see a couple guys

situation man and I see a couple guys getting ready to [ __ ] tap yeah and

getting ready to [ __ ] tap yeah and that one second decision I call it

that one second decision I call it they're thinking man I got to tap it's

they're thinking man I got to tap it's like and and and and and you see the

like and and and and and you see the hand motion like I'm about to tap and it

hand motion like I'm about to tap and it go somewhere else not today [ __ ]

go somewhere else not today [ __ ] yeah cuz I've been here I've been here

yeah cuz I've been here I've been here before I can laugh maybe this one more

before I can laugh maybe this one more second and this one second may get me

second and this one second may get me out of this [ __ ] and I see how the how

out of this [ __ ] and I see how the how the mind is evolving in that one moment

the mind is evolving in that one moment that one quick moment I see that a

that one quick moment I see that a million thoughts went through their

million thoughts went through their [ __ ] mind and it didn't tap I'm going

[ __ ] mind and it didn't tap I'm going show you an example of that Brian Ortega

show you an example of that Brian Ortega versus Alexander volkanovski Alexander

versus Alexander volkanovski Alexander volkanovski almost gets Tapped Out

volkanovski almost gets Tapped Out volkanovski is the next guy to fight

volkanovski is the next guy to fight Islam makev and Islam makev is khabib's

Islam makev and Islam makev is khabib's protege that's a bad boy Alexander

protege that's a bad boy Alexander volkanovski is the 145 pound champion

volkanovski is the 145 pound champion he's going up to 155 to try to fight

he's going up to 155 to try to fight makev and win the title at that weight

makev and win the title at that weight so he fights this guy Brian Ortega who

so he fights this guy Brian Ortega who is a student of hon and Henry Gracie got

is a student of hon and Henry Gracie got it so he's an elite Black Belt and he

it so he's an elite Black Belt and he gets Brian Ortega gets vulcanos in this

gets Brian Ortega gets vulcanos in this Guillotine choke mounted Guillotine

Guillotine choke mounted Guillotine choke which is the nastiest [ __ ] ever

choke which is the nastiest [ __ ] ever and this guy is a [ __ ] strangulation

and this guy is a [ __ ] strangulation expert and V Kowski is stuck give me

expert and V Kowski is stuck give me some volume give me some volume here oh

some volume give me some volume here oh my

my goodness he might go to sleep here's his

goodness he might go to sleep here's his mind the is and he got out see and he

mind the is and he got out see and he got out he was so close you hear

got out he was so close you hear Paul Paul Felder saying he might go to

sleep so he almost catches him here now in a

Dar and volovski winds up on top he gets on top he just starts Hammer hammering

on top he just starts Hammer hammering them I mean this fight is one of the

them I mean this fight is one of the best examples you want to watch this

best examples you want to watch this fight you want to talk about Will and

fight you want to talk about Will and Warrior spirit this is one of the best

Warrior spirit this is one of the best fights ever for both guys cuz Orga like

fights ever for both guys cuz Orga like going into the fourth round you're like

going into the fourth round you're like how is this [ __ ] surviving and

how is this [ __ ] surviving and then he comes out in the fifth round

then he comes out in the fifth round guns guns blazing see Bol these guys

guns guns blazing see Bol these guys just drained the [ __ ] gas tank in

just drained the [ __ ] gas tank in this fight it was an amazing amazing

this fight it was an amazing amazing amazing fight now what he should have

amazing fight now what he should have did after that he should have gone home

did after that he should have gone home and wrote that [ __ ] out cuz in that

and wrote that [ __ ] out cuz in that moment if he could even think about it

moment if he could even think about it the knowledge he gained in that moment

the knowledge he gained in that moment Priceless where what was happening when

Priceless where what was happening when you almost tapped what was and I'm not

you almost tapped what was and I'm not talking about this surface conversation

talking about this surface conversation that's beautiful to me that I I study

that's beautiful to me that I I study that [ __ ] so much you were in a horrible

that [ __ ] so much you were in a horrible situation I know you were like I gotta

situation I know you were like I gotta tap I got to tap I gotta tap but if you

tap I got to tap I gotta tap but if you break that down really break it down to

break that down really break it down to the smallest molecule possible your mind

the smallest molecule possible your mind went through so so many things that

went through so so many things that allowed you to not tap you got to study

allowed you to not tap you got to study that man that right there is so much

that man that right there is so much that's that's beautiful yeah that's that

that's that's beautiful yeah that's that that's Beauty right there at work Beauty

that's Beauty right there at work Beauty at work it is because for that man I

at work it is because for that man I mean vulcanos he walked out of there

mean vulcanos he walked out of there with his [ __ ] belt with the victory

with his [ __ ] belt with the victory the cheers the Roars The Crowd Goes back

the cheers the Roars The Crowd Goes back home he [ __ ] did it it's amazing but

home he [ __ ] did it it's amazing but he almost didn't I see he got to the

he almost didn't I see he got to the door of death see it's that one second

door of death see it's that one second decision that one second decision I talk

decision that one second decision I talk about this [ __ ] right here you

about this [ __ ] right here you get there and you want to quit and you

get there and you want to quit and you don't yeah and you end up [ __ ]

don't yeah and you end up [ __ ] getting through it man well that's the

getting through it man well that's the thing is like your book can give people

thing is like your book can give people if even if they don't get a map of the

if even if they don't get a map of the territory they're getting directions

territory they're getting directions right you want to go to I95 go about 10

right you want to go to I95 go about 10 miles down when you see Woodland Hills

miles down when you see Woodland Hills Road take a right you're giving them

Road take a right you're giving them you're mind not be giving them a map cuz

you're mind not be giving them a map cuz I think the map has to be acquired

I think the map has to be acquired personally 100% well you're giving them

personally 100% well you're giving them Direction that's it you're saying this

Direction that's it you're saying this is how I got through this is how I

is how I got through this is how I developed my map MH people want to hand

developed my map MH people want to hand it to me I can't hand it to you you

it to me I can't hand it to you you can't but you can give them something

can't but you can give them something and I when I texted you I was in the

and I when I texted you I was in the middle of the book I was like I can run

middle of the book I was like I can run through a [ __ ] wall right now cuz

through a [ __ ] wall right now cuz that's what it feels like I love that

that's what it feels like I love that there's something about the way you

there's something about the way you describe things and the way you're so

describe things and the way you're so honest and so personal about

honest and so personal about it especially the audio version of it

it especially the audio version of it and then when you do the podcast so the

and then when you do the podcast so the way the audio the audio is a special

way the audio the audio is a special treat because it's the book and then

treat because it's the book and then with each individual chapter you have a

with each individual chapter you have a small podcast where you and your

small podcast where you and your co-writer break down what what what it

co-writer break down what what what it was like for you and what was happening

was like for you and what was happening and and what what you were feeling and

and and what what you were feeling and what you and it allows you to do it in

what you and it allows you to do it in an unscripted way so you could really

an unscripted way so you could really and you're so honest about it it just it

and you're so honest about it it just it just gives you an understanding of that

just gives you an understanding of that you this discomfort is UN avoidable

you this discomfort is UN avoidable right and then trying to avoid

right and then trying to avoid discomfort just brings you more

discomfort just brings you more discomfort and you don't realize it it

discomfort and you don't realize it it just brings you this longterm dull

just brings you this longterm dull discomfort as opposed to the Searing

discomfort as opposed to the Searing pain of like mid struggle discomfort

pain of like mid struggle discomfort which is what everybody's trying to

which is what everybody's trying to avoid but you're still going to get

avoid but you're still going to get discomfort you're just going to get this

discomfort you're just going to get this I could have should have would have been

I could have should have would have been discomfort which is maybe worse you're

discomfort which is maybe worse you're right it might be worse it just makes it

right it might be worse it just makes it a little easier that's all that's all

a little easier that's all that's all the repetitions do man it's not it

the repetitions do man it's not it doesn't take away the pain doesn't take

doesn't take away the pain doesn't take away the suffering no you just studied

away the suffering no you just studied it you know it you know how it feels

it you know it you know how it feels yeah you know when to breathe when not

yeah you know when to breathe when not to breathe you know all these different

to breathe you know all these different things you've been there you visited

things you've been there you visited you've you you've lived there for a long

you've you you've lived there for a long period of time and that's why I like

period of time and that's why I like this book so much is because can't hurt

this book so much is because can't hurt me was like a bachelor's degree it was

me was like a bachelor's degree it was like the surface level of David gogins

like the surface level of David gogins and some things that can help you out

and some things that can help you out this to me is a master's degree this

this to me is a master's degree this book right here takes you to another

book right here takes you to another level of of the mind and how you think

level of of the mind and how you think that's why I say this ain't no [ __ ]

that's why I say this ain't no [ __ ] self-help book this is what the [ __ ] are

self-help book this is what the [ __ ] are you doing with your life book yeah and

you doing with your life book yeah and that's why that's so important what are

that's why that's so important what are you doing with your life man why are you

you doing with your life man why are you sitting around why are you waiting for

sitting around why are you waiting for [ __ ] to happen it ain't going to happen

[ __ ] to happen it ain't going to happen like that why are you feeling sorry for

like that why are you feeling sorry for yourself why you waiting for that

yourself why you waiting for that [ __ ] apology that's never going to

[ __ ] apology that's never going to [ __ ] come people sit around waiting

[ __ ] come people sit around waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and

and waiting and waiting and waiting and blaming and blaming and they're waiting

blaming and blaming and they're waiting with a hand out yeah Co happened and

with a hand out yeah Co happened and everybody's hands out now hands out and

everybody's hands out now hands out and you see how it changed sort of the tone

you see how it changed sort of the tone of the country it did and it made people

of the country it did and it made people feel entitled like someone deserve they

feel entitled like someone deserve they deserve something yep that's right you

deserve something yep that's right you don't deserve [ __ ] you don't deserve

don't deserve [ __ ] you don't deserve [ __ ] and that's the one thing that I

[ __ ] and that's the one thing that I knew and I found out the worst part if

knew and I found out the worst part if they give you [ __ ] you're going to be

they give you [ __ ] you're going to be even more miserable oh that's a true

even more miserable oh that's a true statement isn't it a true statement a

statement isn't it a true statement a true statement everybody wants the

true statement everybody wants the government to come along and help them

government to come along and help them that's true statement someone to come

that's true statement someone to come along and give you things I should get

along and give you things I should get things you should redistribute wealth

things you should redistribute wealth you're not going to be happy NOP you're

you're not going to be happy NOP you're not you got to go get it no you're

not you got to go get it no you're you're going to always wonder W I have

you're going to always wonder W I have all this [ __ ]

all this [ __ ] money why do I feel like I said I feel

money why do I feel like I said I feel like I'm missing something right because

like I'm missing something right because you didn't go out and achieve it on your

you didn't go out and achieve it on your own it's like a man who inherited money

own it's like a man who inherited money that's it they're always missing

that's it they're always missing something big time there's something

something big time there's something wrong with them someone gift wrapped you

wrong with them someone gift wrapped you some [ __ ] yeah and now you're just a

some [ __ ] yeah and now you're just a [ __ ] now you're like a half a man

[ __ ] now you're like a half a man that's it you look like a man but you're

that's it you look like a man but you're like one of them Easter Bunny candy

like one of them Easter Bunny candy things you know those those chocolate

things you know those those chocolate Easter Bunnies that's it you like you

Easter Bunnies that's it you like you try to bite into it your [ __ ] sh has to

try to bite into it your [ __ ] sh has to [ __ ] them shits up now three hundo yeah

[ __ ] them shits up now three hundo yeah well I loved them when they were solid

well I loved them when they were solid when you got a solid one oh look at a

when you got a solid one oh look at a Sol lot more calories lot more snacks in

Sol lot more calories lot more snacks in that [ __ ] yeah that's a solid Easter

that [ __ ] yeah that's a solid Easter Bunny but when you bite into one it just

Bunny but when you bite into one it just just destroy a [ __ ] up your teeth [ __ ]

just destroy a [ __ ] up your teeth [ __ ] this is a [ __ ] Hollow one yes sir

this is a [ __ ] Hollow one yes sir yeah a lot of people are Hollow Easter

yeah a lot of people are Hollow Easter Bunnies a lot of people are hollow

Bunnies a lot of people are hollow inside too yeah but you don't have to be

inside too yeah but you don't have to be no this is the beautiful thing of your

no this is the beautiful thing of your story is that you started out [ __ ] up

story is that you started out [ __ ] up and sad and couldn't do anything and you

and sad and couldn't do anything and you transformed yourself so people don't

transformed yourself so people don't think like this guy's just always been

think like this guy's just always been hard from the cradle to bra like you you

hard from the cradle to bra like you you you turned yourself into this which is

you turned yourself into this which is the real that's the that's the story

the real that's the that's the story that gives people hope you can truly

that gives people hope you can truly develop otherworldly discipline right

develop otherworldly discipline right it's possible to develop other worldly

it's possible to develop other worldly mental strength well we change

mental strength well we change everything we change our car we change

everything we change our car we change our house sometimes we change our wife

our house sometimes we change our wife or husband we change the underwear we

or husband we change the underwear we change everything in our lives change

change everything in our lives change our hair change how we look change

our hair change how we look change everything but very few of us change how

everything but very few of us change how we think and that's the one problem with

we think and that's the one problem with with a lot of people they're not willing

with a lot of people they're not willing to change how they think you're not

to change how they think you're not going to evolve if you continue thinking

going to evolve if you continue thinking the same [ __ ] way so a lot of people

the same [ __ ] way so a lot of people have a problem with that so I'm always

have a problem with that so I'm always trying to evolve in some way I'm never

trying to evolve in some way I'm never wearing the same underwear every day

wearing the same underwear every day always changing that

always changing that [ __ ] never finished it's out right now

[ __ ] never finished it's out right now ladies and gentlemen I can't recommend

ladies and gentlemen I can't recommend it enough it's a [ __ ] fantastic book

it enough it's a [ __ ] fantastic book as good if not better than can hurt me

as good if not better than can hurt me you're the man brother appreciate you

you're the man brother appreciate you very much thank you Joe all right bye

very much thank you Joe all right bye everybody

[Music] [Applause]

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Joe Rogan Experience #1906 - David Goggins

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