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The Power of “Me Too” | Najwa Zebian | TEDxCentennialCollegeToronto | TEDx Talks | YouTubeToText
YouTube Transcript: The Power of “Me Too” | Najwa Zebian | TEDxCentennialCollegeToronto
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Video Summary
Summary
Core Theme
This content is a powerful personal narrative about overcoming profound pain and abuse by breaking silence, embracing vulnerability, and ultimately finding healing through self-acceptance and public sharing, reframing the "Me Too" movement as a call for empathy and validation.
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how many of you have been through an
experience where you felt so much pain
but there was no way for that pain to
leave you or where you felt this small
this belittled and there was no way out
of it raise your hand if you've
experienced this or if you know someone who
who
has probably every single person in the
room Maya Angelou says there is no
greater Agony than bearing an untold
story inside of
you I knew this before I read it because
I was carrying a story inside of me that
felt as heavy as
mountains and I didn't heal from it
until I started climbing those mountains
are you ready to go on a healing Journey
with me right now yes
yes
so I experienced forms of power
abuse gendered
violence and financial abuse from
someone that I worked with who had
substantial power over me in the
workplace and also over me in the the
community um who belong to the same
culture same
religion and I kept that story inside of
me because I felt so ashamed because I
felt that if I shared it that I was
going to be judged that I was going to
be asked certain questions that I was
going to ruin my
reputation but it took place over a few
years and the longer I kept the story in
inside of me the heavier the weight of
the story
became and the heavier that weight
became the more power it had over me and
I myself was shriveling into
nothing and so I decided to do the last
thing that I could do which was to ask
for an
apology because I was raised in a way
where you don't hurt people you don't do
anything that hurts someone I felt like
I would be impure if I were to do that
so I went and I said you hurt me
deeply all I want from you is to
apologize and he said apologize for
what so I decided to quit my job move
forward with my life let that story
somehow die behind
me but in a moment a miraculous
moment I decided to report it and I
reported it to multiple systems of power
that unfortunately let me down this is
it blame isn't always about someone
telling you it's your fault sometimes
it's but why did you answer the text
messages why did you answer his phone
calls why did you give him money when he
asked you for
it blame comes in different ways and
blame I was told not to talk about it
bernee Brown says shame thrives on three
things secrecy silence and
judgment not talking about it was going
to keep me
from experiencing judgment from experiencing
experiencing
shame keeping that shame
internalized and knowing that I wasn't
giving someone a chance to shame me was
so much easier but it was so much harder
at the same
time I was told that it wasn't that
bad I actually had someone tell me after
sharing my story you sharing your story
makes me feel like mine wasn't important
enough or it makes mine feel like it was
ridiculed because what you shared wasn't
nearly as bad as mine so it's not that
it kind of like
somebody taking your memories of what
happened to you and telling that telling
you this is how you experience them not
the way that you actually experience
them this is how you must have
experience them it's kind of like
they're rewriting for you what you lived
and trying to feed you it so that you
could erase that memory and replace it
with something else and I was told to
it every single time someone would tell
me to get over
it this is what I would think
of I would say what I went through was
kind of like trusting someone to take me
to the middle of the
ocean when I didn't know how to
swim trusting them to take me there way
into the depth of the ocean and then
drop me right
there and I would start to
drown in an ocean of of hate and self
blame why am I here how could I have
trusted someone to get me
here and every time I would make it to
the surface I would be begging the
person who put me there to take me out
because I only saw him as the one who
could take me
out isn't it
such a powerful thing at the same time a
degrading thing to look at the person
who CAU caused you pain as the only
person who could take that pain away and
that there's no way for you to heal
unless that person takes that pain away
so I would say next time you tell me to
get over it and next time you tell a
victim of any form of abuse to get over
it think about it this way and what
would you do if you were in the middle
ocean I didn't get over it the way that
everyone wanted Ed me
too I got over it by sharing it
publicly and when I shared this
imagine I was told that I was asking for
attention I was told that this is what I
wanted I wanted this kind of media from
a simple
tweet this is what you always wanted Nea
attention do you think that this was
enough absolutely not because the whole
world heard me except for the people
that I wanted to hear me and the people
that you want to hear you are not always
the millions of people out there who are
seeing what you have to say they're
usually your family your community the
people that you work with so how could
it be that everybody heard you and heard
your story but those around you don't
even know who the person is and what
actually happened to you and they don't
you're not giving them the opportunity
to say I still love you for who you are
because you're so afraid that they might
truth
so this leads me to what does me to even
mean you see the MEO movement everywhere
and you think it's some people think
it's a Witch Hunt some people think it's
all about bringing men in positions of
power down that's not what it is for me
I wanted to hear me too from my mom from
my dad from my friends from people that
I worked with to tell me that they
understand and I was afraid that they
weren't going to say me too I I didn't
even give them the chance to do it me
too is about
empathy it's not just about sexual
harassment it's not just about sexual
assault it's about telling a person I've
been in a position where I felt like no
one understands me and I understand you
and it doesn't matter what happened to
it this is really important for us to
address the people who need me too the
most are those in the most vulnerable
positions we often forget the
intersectionality of things that put
certain people in a position where they
are most likely to be targeted by any
form of harassment or abuse or any form of
of
pain from the culture that I come from
there were a lot of things that people
didn't understand when I I shared my
story I didn't even know it was sexual
harassment when I shared it I saw it as
something terribly wrong happened a man
in a position of power in my workplace
abused his power I didn't see it as
sexual harassment until experts told me
that they said this is textbook I didn't know
know
that I had been in Canada for six years
when this started I moved from Lebanon
when I was 16 years old and I lived in a bubble
bubble
and when this experience happened it
taught me literally everything that I
know about life absolutely everything
that I know about
life last week I was at an event and a a
fellow poet had a presentation where he
asked us at the end to share a poem that
talked about a defining moment in our
lives and I chose to to write a poem
about the moment when I shared my story
today I still remember that moment to
this day how I hadn't slept properly for
hours days weeks actually months and a few
few
years my face had no color my eyes were
like wilted flowers I sat in front of my
screen for the millionth
time do I hit
enter do I share my story for the world
to see or do I keep it buried inside for
my eyes to wilt a little more for my
heart to beat a little slower as the
days go
by do I hit enter do I let them all know
what happened to me and live in shame
for the years to come and dread the
looks I'll get from every person person
I know or do I keep this Agony buried
me I'm so so so afraid what will they
think of me what will he say he will
tell them I'm lying and what if they believe
believe
him they will believe him they will hate
me they will say I'm asking for
attention now I'm crying for the
millionth time why can't I just hit
enter what's the worst that could
happen I could lose all my loved ones I
could be alone forever and live in shame
forever but I can't keep it in any
longer I would rather not be here at
all a voice from within me
screams I deserve to be here
so I hit enter and I said me too and I
was blamed for it I was told not to talk
about it I was told that it wasn't that
bad and I was told to get over it and
they said what they had to say he said
what he had to say some believed him and
some believed me but I am here I am
alive I'm breathing and my eyes have
blocked blossomed like
roses I see now that love is not
conditional on what happened to you but
on who it made you
become they can blame you for what
happened to you but you should not they
can tell you not to talk about it but
you should they can tell you that it
wasn't that bad but you have the right
to feel how bad it was they can tell you
to get over it and you should on your
theirs the most important thing of all
is to say Me too to
yourself I said me too to myself the
moment that I shared my story will you
say me too to yourself today thank you [Applause]
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