This content provides a guide on how to effectively respond to insults, offering strategies ranging from aggressive comebacks to more charismatic and boundary-setting approaches, ultimately emphasizing the importance of genuine confidence.
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today we'll go over how to handle it
when someone insults you we'll start
with a couple classic destroy comebacks
these are great at winning over an
audience and embarrassing the person who
insulted you be warned though they may
make the target of your comeback hate
you then we'll cover some friendlier
more charismatic responses so that you
can come away looking cool and confident
without making enemies first let's cover
possibly the most brutal comeback of all
the high status reframe rather than
responding to the insult you respond
that the person insulting you simply
isn't important enough to matter the
classic example of this is from mad men
when ginsburg is mad at don draper for
not using his idea what do i care i got
a million of them
a million good
i feel bad for you
i don't think about you at all
you may think this only works in fiction
but in the next clips you'll see it's
just as effective in real life the
ultimate high status reframe is that you
haven't even bothered to remember someone
someone
i've been doing this for 19 years yeah i
remember that day
that's how important you are of course
i remember doing letterman carnegie hall
and talking to you
i'm of the uh the younger generation so
i just wonder for all of you uh
hey tko's people when i knock people out
they don't move who
who
conor has his issues but we can't deny
fans love that comeback most people
would make the mistake of accepting the
frame of jeremy's insult they try to
debate who hits harder but when you use
a high status reframe you completely
dismantle an insult without even having
to address it there's another classic
destroy comeback that humiliates the
other person so they regret insulting
you and same as the first one the key is
don't try disputing the insult instead
accept the insult and use it against
them here's a quick example where
multiple colors yes
yes
every shade of your mom's lipstick
it's like that famous winston churchill
story where a woman tells him if you
were my husband i'd poison your tea and
he replies if you were my wife i'd drink
it here's one more example first for
context watch dennis leary try to insult
greg geraldo for being unable to rely on
quick wit this guy writes so many jokes
before the show it's not even funny it's
unbelievable that's kind of what we do
here dennis it's comedy right a gentle
comeback like that rarely dissuades a
bully so dennis leary insults greg a
second time watch how rather than
fighting the insult greg accepts it and
uses it to really burn leary you're the
guy in school that did all the homework
and then asked if there was any more
that needed to be done
that's a good point and if you had tried
a little comedy writing maybe your show
would still be on the air
there's two downsides to this kind of
comeback first they're very clever so it
can be hard to do and second while
you'll win over an audience you run the
risk of upsetting the person you're
firing back at you
you
there's another way to crush an insult
that can still make a crowd laugh and
avoid making enemies don't insult the
person insult the insult norm thanks for
dressing up sarah listen man uh
congratulations that's the 100th time
that joke's been done tonight
but i also want to tell you i have a if
it's something that's it's hard to fix
does it mean we shouldn't do anything
about it because you said oh i don't
know if we can change how people think
does that mean we shouldn't try i mean
first of all not a great impression but
beyond that
this can make someone look stupid for
insulting you without them feeling
personally attacked now if you don't
want to sink to the other person's level
and use an insult at all another option
you have is to draw a boundary for
example watch this woman insult jordan
peterson and listen to how he responds
so what is your advice beyond banal
comments like clean your room it's
actually rather difficult to answer a
question that ends with your comments
are banal politely one way to draw a
boundary is to simply call out the
insult as rude then you can invite the
other person to change their behavior i
would consider that more of an
opinionated personal and political
statement than actually a question so
why don't you try reformulating that so
that there's an actual question there if
you found the insult truly offensive you
can also draw a boundary by calling out
the insult and then shifting attention
away from the person to someone else
this is infuriating to bullies because
their behavior is often motivated by
wanting attention are you the fat guy in
hollywood still or
does everybody like look at you and
they're like oh wow you know this is
great now you're healthy
do you have any other questions that are
smart now let's talk about charismatic
replies if you aren't actually offended
by the insult because you can often use
a joking insult as a springboard for
witty banter that makes the other person
laugh an easy way to do this is the tit
for chat or eye for an eye method
basically when someone burns you you
burn them back in the same style i need
to watch this movie
i haven't seen the falcon oh no there
you'll notice in the tit for chat
examples the comeback often makes the
other person laugh since they started it
they don't really have a leg to stand on
when it comes to being upset at you the
only two risks are if you really take
the insult up a notch or if you know the
other person is sensitive tit for tat
comebacks can be so simple you can do
them almost without thinking watch in
this next clip how finn reacts to his
own burn he clearly didn't even mean to
say it out loud can you read this really cool
cool
in general the tit for tat method is a
good way to turn an insult into fun
banter within this framework there's a
good rule for specifically if someone
tries to insult your looks when you want
to make someone laugh try to conjure up
an absurd image in the person's mind
compare chuck's insult in this next clip
to kevin's your body ain't that good you
can just walk around without your shirt off
off
if we're ever going to talk about bodies
i want you not to be the one to bring
that conversation
all right if you don't get out of here
shaped like a beanbag that got that in
your body ain't that good isn't nearly
as funny as you're shaped like a bean
bag that got satin you may think kevin
is super quick-witted for that comeback
but that's actually an illusion he
creates by having a few specific go-to
insults he uses repeatedly
are we here are you actually going to do
some working out listen you don't just
get this no no you want to feel that no
it looks like a skinny bean bag
my body wants to get buff
but i don't want to scare my fans you
had the body of a dutch woman
kenny has the body of a dutch woman
now not every insult needs an insulting
comeback sometimes the most charismatic
thing you can do is show that you're
unaffected unlike what we've covered so
far this is incredibly easy to do and
makes you look likable and confident
with no risk of hurt feelings one way
you can do this is by answering
rhetorical questions literally so
someone is insulting you but you act
like they're just asking you a genuine
question here's a quick example you
recognize from the avengers movie big
man in a suit
armor take that off what are you genius
billionaire playboy philanthropist and
again this doesn't just work in fiction
listen to norm mcdonald in this next
clip notice how he's able to make
everyone laugh and make himself look
good without being rude to the
interviewer who insulted him you've
admitted that you're lazy i think you've
read six books in your life i've read
six six what kind of a woman would be
another easy way to show you're
unaffected by an insult if you can do it
genuinely is to simply laugh at the
insult it shows your confidence hasn't
been shaken at all by what they've said
you look like a mechanic from nordstrom
rack dude
that's the [ __ ] problem you're like
damn i didn't know uh nordstrom rack did
tires you know during our sex scene i
felt your dick rubbing into them okay
okay
chris evans isn't truth a great actor
but he plays captain america like he's a
big dumb hunker
as fun as the destroy comebacks from
earlier in this video are to watch
they're really only helpful if you're
trying to build an online audience in
your own life when it comes to insults
you want two things the confidence to
genuinely find humor in a tease so that
you can clap back with a smile or laugh
along with a joke or the confidence to
draw strong boundaries and potentially
cut people from your life who make it a
habit to try to genuinely insult you
when you come from that place of true
deep genuine confidence you don't need
to memorize any tips or tricks you'll
naturally handle being insulted in a way
that makes you look and feel great now
you might think building deep unshakable
confidence will take you a long time or
maybe you even think it's impossible for
you that you could never actually feel
that way but building confidence is way
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screen now or in the description below
either way i hope you enjoyed this video
and i'll see you in the next one [Music]
[Music] you
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