0:20 hi I'm Brian Tracy and welcome to the
0:22 Phoenix seminar on the psychology of
0:24 achievement have you ever wondered why
0:26 some people are more successful than
0:28 others why some people earn more money
0:30 are happier have better jobs better
0:32 relationships Better Health and seem to
0:34 get far more out of life well when I was
0:36 15 years old this question began to
0:39 preoccupy me I've spent over 25 years
0:41 I've traveled in over 80 countries I've
0:43 worked at 30 different jobs and I've
0:45 spent by my own estimate about 30,000
0:48 hours in study to try to find the answer
0:50 to why some people are more successful
0:52 than others and you know something I
0:54 have found that this is one of the most
0:55 studied subjects in the world that
0:57 there's more information available on it
0:59 today than has ever been available
1:01 before and that today we can say with
1:04 complete confidence that success is as
1:06 predictable as the sun rising in the
1:09 East and setting in the west today you
1:11 can be more successful faster than you
1:14 ever dreamed possible if you will do two
1:17 basic things number one make a decision
1:19 to exceed all your previous levels of
1:21 accomplishment make a decision to be
1:22 successful and to achieve your goals
1:24 whatever you construe them to be and
1:28 number two learn how this seminar has
1:30 been assembled in order to teach you how
1:32 since we put it together several years
1:33 ago over
1:36 150,000 men and women have been through
1:38 this seminar in one form or another and
1:40 many of them have said it's like getting
1:43 a brand new chance at life one gentleman
1:46 said to us it was like getting a blank
1:48 check on the future we're going to teach
1:50 you in the next few hours some of the
1:51 most important things that have ever
1:53 been found that have been discovered and
1:56 rediscovered that go back 4,000 years
1:58 into History Science religion
2:01 metaphysics Psych ology philosophy and
2:03 all esoteric fields of study have come
2:05 to the conclusions that we are going to
2:08 talk about in this seminar if you will
2:09 just use some of the things you learn in
2:11 this seminar it can dramatically change
2:15 your results for the better now in
2:17 studying the subject of success one of
2:18 the things we have to do is put some
2:20 preconceptions aside one of the things
2:23 that I began thinking was that in order
2:24 to be successful you had to be
2:25 especially intelligent or you had to
2:27 have a great education or you had to be
2:28 terrific looking or you had to have
2:30 context or you had to have luck do you
2:32 know that these items have been examined
2:34 thoroughly and there's no correlation at
2:37 all between success and intelligence
2:40 education luck contacts and appearance
2:42 they are helpful in some cases but
2:44 there's no direct correlation success is
2:47 based on other things now before we go
2:48 any further let's talk about what we
2:50 mean by success when we look at the
2:52 difference between animals and human
2:54 beings we find that animals have what is
2:57 called a survival Instinct animals work
2:59 to get enough to eat a place to sleep to
3:01 reproduce their species and then they
3:04 either hibernate and or die human beings
3:05 have what you might call a success
3:09 Instinct a success Instinct means that
3:11 human beings are driven internally to
3:14 succeed that it is as natural for you to
3:17 be a success and to want to be a success
3:20 as it is for you to breathe in and
3:22 breathe out that success the drive to be
3:24 and have and do and more to fulfill your
3:26 potential as a human being is an
3:29 absolutely essential part of your being
3:31 that we never are satisfied as long as
3:33 we're alive we always want to have more
3:34 we always want to be more we always want
3:37 to do more the question of course is why
3:40 is it that so few people achieve things
3:42 in life let's talk about what the
3:43 success Instinct Embraces now I have
3:45 looked at this for years and years and
3:48 in my estimation success can be broken
3:50 down and put under seven categories
3:53 there are seven ingredients of success
3:54 and if you have these seven everything
3:55 you could ever want in life can be put
3:57 under one of these categories so let's
3:58 look at what we're talking about number
4:01 one starting point of success top of the
4:02 Hit Parade throughout all of human
4:06 history is peace of mind Peace of Mind
4:10 means that you feel content at peace
4:12 relaxed inside peace of mind to a great
4:14 degree means freedom it means freedom
4:18 especially from Fear Freedom From Fear
4:20 freedom from stress freedom from anxiety
4:22 Freedom from Want freedom from lack
4:24 freedom from negative emotions freedom
4:27 from guilt and so on but peace of
4:30 mind is the first and most important
4:31 ingredient of success why it's because
4:32 if you get anything else in life and you
4:34 don't get your peace of mind you won't
4:36 even enjoy it number two ingredient of
4:39 success health and
4:42 energy health and energy Health means
4:45 that we have the health we are free from
4:47 sickness freedom from disease Freedom
4:49 From Pain freedom from ailments and so
4:52 on but also energy we mean vitality and
4:55 today we know as a result of exhaustive
4:57 research in medicine and psychology that
4:59 there's a very close correlation between
5:00 peace of mind and health and energy is
5:03 that 80 to 90% of all the ailments that
5:05 the human body suffers including most of
5:07 the reasons why we die before our time
5:09 have to do with disrupted Peace of Mind
5:12 psychosomatic medicine is based on the
5:14 discovery that psycho the Mind makes
5:16 Soma the body sick so therefore as we
5:18 strive for higher levels of peace of
5:20 mind we almost automatically have better
5:23 levels of health and energy now the
5:27 third ingredient of success is loving
5:30 relationships loving relationship ship
5:32 means that we have the ability the
5:35 capacity to enter into long-term loving
5:37 relationships with other men and women
5:39 it means that we have the ability to
5:41 give of ourselves to love and to be
5:43 loved and the ability to enter into
5:45 loving relationships is an essential
5:48 part of Being Human it is the one
5:50 essential characteristic of our
5:51 humanhood and when we look at loving
5:52 relationships you'll find that almost
5:54 all of the problems you have in life
5:57 about 80% 85% of our problems in life as
6:00 they say talk back that 85 5% of all the
6:01 success you'll ever enjoy in life is
6:03 going to be determined by how well you
6:05 get along with other people the quality
6:07 and quantity of our relationships is the
6:09 true Mark of how well you're doing as a
6:12 human being and as you know that
6:13 problems within your relationship
6:15 starting from Early Childhood all the
6:16 way up through our adult lives disrupt
6:18 our health and energy disrupt our peace
6:20 of mind if our loving relationships are
6:22 stable usually our health and energy is
6:24 stable and we have great peace of mind
6:25 now how do you measure loving
6:27 relationships well one of the simplest
6:29 measures that you can use is simply this
6:32 it is is to ask yourself how much you
6:35 laugh with another person how much do
6:37 you laugh because you'll find that the
6:39 first thing that enters into a happy
6:41 relationship is laughter and the first
6:43 things that leaves when the relationship
6:45 starts to go sour is the laughter
6:47 laughter because it is a completely
6:50 spontaneous expression of life is the
6:53 true Mark of a healthy personality and a
6:55 healthy relationship as as you know from
6:58 your own experience now number four
7:01 ingredient of success is fin Financial
7:03 Freedom Financial Freedom
7:07 means that you have enough money so that
7:10 you don't worry about money now some
7:11 people have a tendency to say well
7:13 success is just simply a matter of money
7:15 and they're not interested in money but
7:17 the fact of the matter is that money is
7:19 important it takes money to buy clothes
7:21 and books and to go to school and buy
7:23 medical attention and to travel and to
7:24 have all the good things in life and
7:27 every one of us in order to be a success
7:29 has to reach the point where we know we
7:32 have the capacity to earn enough money
7:34 so that we don't worry about money we
7:36 have to reach the point where we can
7:38 turn our minds to other things higher
7:40 things to our relationships to our
7:43 health to the uh Improvement of our
7:45 minds to the expansion of our emotional
7:47 and our spiritual life but we all have
7:49 to have the ability to earn more money
7:50 and the great majority of people
7:53 unfortunately don't earn enough by their
7:55 own estimation in this course you're
7:57 going to learn how you can earn
7:59 virtually all the money that you want in
8:01 the course of your lifetime if you're
8:02 willing to make the efforts and to pay
8:04 the necessary price now the fifth
8:07 ingredient of success is worthy goals and
8:08 and
8:11 ideals worthy
8:14 goals and ideals sometimes when we talk
8:17 about ideals we mean values and we know
8:19 that values really lie at the core of
8:21 the human being what your values are
8:22 determines almost everything that
8:24 happens to you worthy goals and ideals
8:27 are what give us a sense of
8:29 meaning meaning
8:32 and purpose Dr Victor Frankle the
8:34 founder of logo therapy concluded after
8:36 a lifetime of research that we as human
8:39 beings need meaning and purpose we need
8:40 significance you need to know that
8:42 you're doing something that's important
8:43 you need to know when you get up in the
8:45 morning why you're getting up you need
8:47 to believe in what you're doing you need
8:49 commitment you need involvement you need
8:51 dedication you need excitement in life
8:54 so therefore worthy goals and ideals are
8:55 critical and worthy goals and ideals of
8:57 course that are consistent with your
8:59 values what we have found unfortunately
9:01 is probably 80% or more of people have
9:03 little or no values they have no sense
9:05 of direction they just wander they do
9:07 whatever what whatever someone else
9:09 wants them to do and and this is a major
9:11 problem that contributes to unhappiness
9:14 the sixth ingredient of success is self-
9:18 knowledge self- understanding self-
9:21 knowledge self- understanding what does
9:23 this mean well it means that you know
9:25 and understand who you
9:29 are why you do the things you do what
9:31 makes you tick it also means that you
9:34 have self-honesty it also means that you
9:36 have the character and the courage to
9:38 face yourself honestly and squarely as
9:40 Shakespeare said warts and all you have
9:42 the honesty to face your strengths into
9:44 weaknesses you have the honesty if you
9:46 like and the Integrity to look into
9:49 yourself to fully understand why you do
9:52 what you do what makes you tick and in
9:53 this seminar by the way we're going to
9:54 give you an enormous amount of
9:57 information on why you are the way you
9:59 are and how you can change it in a very
10:01 positive way if you're not happy with it
10:04 now the seventh ingredient of success is
10:06 really a result and it is a sense of personal
10:07 personal
10:09 fulfillment it is a sense of personal
10:13 fulfillment what Abraham maslo called
10:15 self-actualization self-actualization is
10:18 the feeling that you are becoming
10:19 everything that you're capable of
10:21 becoming self-actualization means that
10:23 you feel every single day that you're
10:25 moving toward the Fulfillment of your
10:27 inherent possibilities and
10:29 self-actualization comes as a result of
10:31 having worthy goals and ideals having
10:33 loving relationships having a high
10:35 degree of self- knowledge and self-
10:37 understanding which generates health and
10:38 energy Peace of Mind loving
10:40 relationships and so
10:43 on now the interesting thing is the
10:44 tragedy is the great majority of men and
10:48 women today achieve so little on a score
10:50 of 1 to 10 in terms of human potential
10:52 the average person is functioning it Far
10:54 Far Below what they're capable of on a
10:56 score of 1 to 10 the average person is
10:58 scoring perhaps two or three on most of
11:01 these scales 84% of people working today
11:03 are underemployed in that their jobs do
11:05 not fully tax their abilities and their
11:07 potential 80% would rather be doing
11:09 something else in a study of married
11:11 couples what we found was that 38% of
11:13 married couples would rather be married
11:16 to someone else uh We've also found that
11:17 the great majority of people in our
11:20 society after a lifetime of well-paid
11:23 work retire broke they retire poor they
11:25 retire on pensions only 1% become
11:27 wealthy only 5% become financially
11:30 independent 15% % have some savings and
11:33 80% are dependent on others the average
11:36 savings lifetime Savings of a retired
11:38 couple in America or Canada today is
11:40 less than $660,000 that's after earning
11:42 between half a million and a million
11:44 dollars in an average working Lifetime
11:46 well why is this the number one reason
11:48 is that we come into this world without
11:50 an instruction manual you can go through
11:52 your entire education and never never be
11:54 taught anything about success I
11:55 personally believe that there should be
11:57 a course on success in every single
11:59 grade level in every single School in
12:01 every single college and university we
12:04 come into the world like a computer if
12:05 you can imagine a computer imagine that
12:07 you bought this beautiful sophisticated
12:09 computer and you took it home and you
12:10 took it out of the box and you set it up
12:13 but you had no instruction manual that
12:14 you had to figure out how to work out
12:16 this computer all by yourself or imagine
12:18 a com combination lock being given a
12:21 beautiful combination lock that is on a
12:22 box that contains everything that you
12:23 ever want but you don't know the
12:26 combination we come into the world with
12:27 no instruction manual and we spend our
12:29 whole lives trying to figure out how to
12:31 do things right well the key to success
12:34 is first of all what we call you
12:36 understanding learning how to do things
12:38 right and this course is an instruction
12:40 manual on success you'll be able to get
12:42 more out of yourself as a result of this
12:44 course that you can possibly dream of
12:47 today the second ingredient is e which
12:49 requires effort there are many people as
12:51 you know lifelong students who study and
12:53 study and study but they never make the
12:55 necessary or the correct efforts the
12:57 middle point is a multiplication sign
12:59 and understanding multiplied time effort
13:02 equals results in this course what we're
13:03 going to do is we're going to
13:05 dramatically increase your understanding
13:07 we're going to give you the tools to
13:09 dramatically increase the effectiveness
13:11 of your efforts so you're doing not only
13:13 things right but you are doing the right
13:16 things and you're going to
13:20 dramatically increase your results many
13:21 people have taken this course and been
13:23 able to earn more in the following year
13:25 than they earned in the previous five
13:27 many people have taken this course and
13:28 been able to make more progress in one
13:29 or two years and they made in their
13:32 lifetime to date it is not unusual for a
13:33 person to take this course and double or
13:36 triple their income within a matter of a
13:38 few weeks or a few months simply by
13:42 applying some of these principles now do
13:44 these principles work these principles
13:46 are the basis of all success and
13:48 achievement in adult life every
13:50 successful man or woman uses them to
13:52 some degree every successful man or
13:53 woman practices them consciously or
13:55 unconsciously what we've done is we've
13:57 developed them together in this seminar
14:01 program as a system very much like a
14:02 process of learning anything that if you
14:04 will take it if you will use it if you
14:06 will apply it systematically if you will
14:08 put it into action and you'll work with
14:10 it consistently for even a short period
14:12 of time you're going to start to see
14:15 changes that are absolutely marvelous it
14:17 is my contention that you can be have or
14:19 do anything that you want in life you
14:21 can grow and expand and fulfill your
14:22 potential you can earn more money you
14:24 can have greater peace of mind you can
14:25 have more health and energy you can have
14:28 better loving relationships you can have
14:30 Financial Security you can have a sense
14:31 of personal fulfillment you have a great
14:34 feeling of Peace inside simply by
14:36 following what's in this course so
14:38 please come with me let's go and let's
14:41 begin to explore everything that you're
14:44 capable of doing let us look at what you
15:05 session two seven mental laws the
15:07 starting point of self- knowledge just
15:09 to recognize this wonderful fact is that
15:13 you are extraordinary you are unique the
15:15 odds against there being someone exactly
15:18 like you are over 50 billion to one that
15:19 every single part of your body and
15:21 anatomists and physiologists and doctors
15:23 have demonstrated that your blood
15:25 composition is different from any other
15:26 person that has ever lived your
15:28 fingerprints are different your limp
15:29 prints are different even your ear
15:31 prints are different even your toe
15:33 prints are different from anybody that
15:35 has ever lived you are different from
15:37 anyone else and self- knowledge begins
15:39 with accepting that you are a unique and
15:41 special individual and that you have the
15:43 capacity to do something wonderful with
15:46 your life now that being said you are
15:49 also the same as everybody else with
15:51 respect to certain basic principles
15:54 throughout the history of mankind the
15:55 most intelligent men and women who have
15:57 ever lived have sought answers to the
16:00 question of the human dilemma what can
16:02 people do in order to change the quality
16:05 of their lives their relationships and
16:07 their results the great philosophers the
16:09 great metaphysicians the great Scholars
16:11 have pondered over this sometimes for
16:14 their entire lifetimes in our Century I
16:16 know men and women who spent 10 20 30 40
16:18 even 50 years studying success and
16:21 achievement to find out what general
16:24 rules and principles we can draw upon to
16:26 be more successful the first thing that
16:27 we have to start with the basis for this
16:29 entire course the psychology of
16:32 achievement is this is that you are a
16:34 mental creature the only thing that
16:38 makes you truly unique is your mind
16:40 everything else you have in common as
16:42 Eugene O'Neal the playwright said with a
16:45 horse or a pig your mind is what makes
16:47 you unique your body simply carries your
16:50 mind around and just as electricity
16:52 works on laws of electricity and physics
16:54 works on laws of physics and nature
16:56 works on laws of nature there are
16:59 certain mental laws that Det determine
17:01 everything that happens to you and these
17:04 mental laws are as inexorable as the
17:06 laws of gravity they work 100% of the
17:09 time and every single success you have
17:11 in life comes from living your life in
17:14 harmony with basic mental laws and every
17:15 problem or difficulty you ever have in
17:18 life comes from living your life out of
17:20 harmony with those basic laws now mental
17:24 laws work 100% of the time like gravity
17:26 works 100% of the time what they say
17:28 what it means is that if you step off a
17:30 10 story building in the city where
17:32 you're living or in London England or in
17:34 Lima Peru you're going to go Splat on
17:36 the sidewalk whether you know about
17:39 gravity whether you believe in gravity
17:41 whether you agree with gravity or
17:43 whether gravity is convenient for you
17:46 it's going to work on you nonetheless
17:47 the mental laws are exactly the same and
17:49 in this course I'm going to introduce
17:52 you to about 20 mental laws some of
17:53 which are more important than others but
17:56 all of which it is critical for you to
17:57 understand now let's start with the
18:00 first of the mental loss
18:01 the first mental law and by the way
18:02 these laws have been written about and
18:04 studied for Century after century and
18:05 many of them have been tested in our
18:08 leading universities research institutes
18:10 and think tanks in the last few years
18:12 and found to be as true as they'd ever
18:15 been imagined to be the first law is
18:18 what we call the law of control now the
18:21 law of control is very simple it's the
18:22 basic law and we'll come back to it over
18:25 and over again it says simply this it
18:28 says that you feel good about yourself
18:31 you feel positive about yourself to the
18:32 degree to which you feel you are in
18:36 control of your own life or you feel
18:38 negative about yourself to the degree to
18:40 which you feel you are not in control of
18:42 your own life all you have to do is look
18:44 at your life today and ask yourself what
18:45 parts of your life do you feel the best
18:47 at what parts of the life do you feel
18:49 your life do you feel most in control
18:50 you will find those are the places where
18:53 you are the happiest and since the
18:55 Supreme human good is to achieve a state
18:58 of Happiness which is expressed in peace
18:59 of mind and health and loving
19:01 relationships control is absolutely
19:03 essential psychologists today call this
19:05 the difference between an internal locus
19:08 of control which is feeling that you're
19:10 in charge of your own life versus an
19:13 external locus of control which means
19:15 the feeling that something outside of
19:18 you your bills your relationships your
19:20 job your
19:23 health are somehow controlling you as a
19:25 matter of fact locus of control research
19:27 and there are many tests that you can
19:29 take to determine where you are are on
19:31 this chart in terms of locus of control
19:33 and what areas of your life you feel
19:35 more in control and less in control
19:37 people with a very high internal locus
19:39 of control are high Achievers they are
19:41 more successful they're more
19:43 self-determined they're happier and many
19:44 of things we're trying to do in this
19:46 course is to give you a far greater
19:49 sense of control of being in charge of
19:51 every aspect of your life now control
19:55 begins with first of all your thoughts
19:57 interestingly enough your thoughts what
19:59 you think about things and how you think
20:01 determines your values it determines
20:03 what is going on inside you once they
20:05 are stored away your thoughts determine
20:08 your feelings it's how you think about
20:10 something that determines your feelings
20:12 whether you are happy or unhappy whether
20:15 you are scared or uh confident your
20:18 feelings then determine your actions so
20:21 we start off with a law of control
20:23 saying that the key to success is to
20:25 feel that you are the master of your own
20:27 destiny that you're behind the steering
20:29 wheel of your own life you're charge of
20:31 your life by taking full and complete
20:33 control over your thoughts your thoughts
20:35 will control your feelings your feelings
20:36 will control your actions and your
20:38 actions remember there always your
20:41 actions will determine your success or
20:43 your lack thereof so the law of control
20:44 is important now as opposed to the law
20:46 of control we have what is called the
20:48 law of
20:50 accident now the law of
20:52 accident is really a metaphysical
20:54 principle it is only a law like a
20:56 traffic law or like a legal law to the
20:59 degree to which we live by it
21:02 consistently the law of accident is what
21:05 about 80% of the population live by plus
21:08 or minus the law of accident simply says
21:10 that by failing to plan you're planning
21:14 to fail failing to plan is planning to
21:17 fail now the majority of
21:20 people don't believe that they're living
21:23 by this but if you look at their lives
21:25 you see that that's true failing to plan
21:26 means planning to fail these are the
21:28 sort of people that say well not what
21:30 you know it's who you know it's being in
21:32 the right place at the right time it's
21:34 it's luck it's h the luck of the draw
21:36 and so on these are people who as a
21:37 result of feeling that their life is
21:40 controlled by forces outside themselves
21:42 don't have clear plans don't have clear
21:44 goals do not are not working
21:46 persistently and consistently day by day
21:48 toward accomplishing something they want
21:50 and their lives just seem to drift and
21:51 go around in circle like a ship without
21:54 a Rudder now a person just like a ship
21:55 without a Rudder A person with no
21:58 Central plan is a person who has very
22:00 little controls as a person who feels
22:02 that in fact they are out of control of
22:03 their lives like they're falling through
22:06 space with no place to to stop and these
22:08 people are invariably unhappy the reason
22:09 why people are negative today the reason
22:11 why people are unhappy the reason why
22:12 people are sick and frustrated the
22:14 reason why people underachieve in life
22:17 is most of them are living by this law
22:19 of accident and in so doing they have no
22:21 sense of control over their lives they
22:22 have no sense of inner peace they have
22:26 no sense of happiness and so on
22:28 so we are going to show show you how to
22:30 free yourself from the law of accident
22:33 personally or per or permanently now the
22:35 next law is what is called the law of
22:37 cause and
22:41 effect the law of cause and
22:45 effect says that for every effect in
22:47 your life there is a specific cause that
22:49 everything that happens in the universe
22:50 happens for a reason that nothing
22:52 happens by accident that failure does
22:54 not happen by accident and success does
22:56 not happen by accident that happiness or
22:58 lack of Happiness are a result of cause
23:00 and effect relationships that if we you
23:02 have an effect in your life that you
23:04 want to have more of more success more
23:06 money more happiness Better Health you
23:08 can trace it back to a cause and what
23:09 you do is you repeat and duplicate the
23:11 cause if you have an effect in your life
23:12 that you want to have less of and you
23:14 have problems difficulties and so on you
23:17 can also Trace that back to a cause all
23:20 progress in human life in human society
23:22 stems back from identifying the causes
23:23 of what we want more of or less of and
23:26 changing the causes now the law of cause
23:29 and effect of course is the iron law of
23:31 the universe this is the law if you like
23:33 that we can come back to over and over
23:34 again and many of our laws are
23:36 paraphrases of the iron law it's also
23:38 called The Law of sewing and reaping
23:40 that whatsoever you seow that also shall
23:42 you reap but the iron law the law of
23:45 cause and effect gives us a complete
23:47 sense of control if we believe that
23:48 there's a cause and effect relationship
23:50 that everything happens for a reason
23:51 then we have a tremendous feeling of
23:53 control in our lives we can identify the
23:55 causes we can duplicate the causes we
23:58 can make our lives anything we want the
24:00 most important application of the law of
24:02 cause and effect is this it is that
24:04 thoughts are
24:07 causes thoughts are causes and
24:09 conditions are
24:11 effects C thoughts are causes and
24:14 conditions are simply effects the
24:16 starting point of everything is your
24:18 thoughts about something it's your
24:20 thoughts about a job your thoughts about
24:21 a relationship your thoughts about your
24:23 health your thoughts about your future
24:25 your thoughts become causitive agents
24:27 the conditions become the effects that
24:29 if you wish to change any of the
24:30 conditions of your life you have to
24:33 change the thoughts that precede those
24:35 conditions you have to change what is
24:38 going on in your mind now wonderfully
24:39 enough there's only one thing in the
24:41 whole universe over which you have
24:43 complete control and that is your
24:46 thoughts so if you take full and
24:48 complete control over your thoughts and
24:49 keep your thoughts on what it is you
24:51 want make them positive causes the
24:53 conditions or effects will take care of
24:55 themselves with the
24:58 inexorability of a law of nature now the
25:01 next law is what is called the law of
25:03 belief the law of
25:05 belief simply
25:10 says that whatever you believe with
25:13 feeling and this is the key with feeling
25:14 and the more emotion you put into a
25:17 belief becomes your
25:19 reality it becomes your reality because
25:20 you will always act in a manner
25:23 consistent with your beliefs as a matter
25:25 of fact your entire reality right now is
25:28 simply a out outward picturing of your
25:30 most intensely held beliefs if you
25:32 believe something that is positive or
25:33 believe something that is negative or as
25:35 Henry Ford said if you believe you can
25:37 do a thing or if you believe you cannot
25:40 you are right our beliefs do form our
25:42 realities to the degree to which we
25:44 believe anything to be true our beliefs
25:47 act as sort of like a screen uh they
25:49 filter out any information that is
25:51 inconsistent with our beliefs we have a
25:53 deep down desire inside of us to remain
25:55 consistent so we're always trying to
25:57 view our world rationalize our world
25:59 interpret our world so that it is
26:01 consistent with what we have already
26:03 decided to believe we develop what is
26:06 called scotomas a scotoma is a word in
26:08 Psychology that simply says that we
26:11 develop blind spots we do not see
26:13 opportunities if we are convinced that
26:15 there are no opportunities we do not see
26:17 possibilities for Success if we don't
26:19 believe that success is possible for us
26:21 however if we begin to change our
26:24 beliefs we begin to change our realities
26:26 let me give you an example uh there's a
26:30 story of a Young Man man who came from a
26:32 small Midwestern town it's true story
26:33 was reported in the psychological
26:36 journals a couple of years ago he got
26:37 straight A all through junior high
26:39 school and high school at the end of
26:41 12th grade he wrote his Scholastic
26:43 achievement test to go to university a
26:44 few weeks later he got back a letter
26:46 from the University saying you have
26:47 scored 98 on the Scholastic achievement
26:49 test and you're hereby admitted to the
26:51 university for the fall semester well he
26:53 didn't know very much about Scholastic
26:55 achievement tests and he thought that
26:59 the 98 was an IQ score now an IQ score
27:01 of 98 is slightly below average and is
27:03 about 20 points below what is necessary
27:06 for college level work he was convinced
27:08 and he just discarded his entire High
27:09 School career all the age that he's
27:10 gotten he was convinced that he could
27:12 not do college level work but he went
27:14 off to college in the fall after the
27:16 first semester he was failing or nearly
27:18 failing in every
27:20 subject his counselor called him in and
27:22 said what seems to be the problem you uh
27:24 did extremely well in high school these
27:25 courses are only one degree of
27:27 difficulty uh removed from your high
27:29 school courses are you having problems
27:30 with uh girls are you having problems
27:32 with drugs uh having problems adjusting
27:34 what is it he saidwell sir he said I'm
27:35 doing the very best I can but you can't
27:39 blame me I've only got a 98 IQ and the
27:40 counselor had a file in front of me said
27:42 what are you talking about he said well
27:43 in my letter of admission to the
27:45 university it said that I got a 98 on
27:47 the Scholastic achievement test he said
27:49 son that's not an IQ he said he said
27:52 they said that's not an IQ that is a
27:54 percentile what that means is that you
27:57 scored equal to or higher than 98% of
27:59 the students in the country who wrote
28:00 that test you're one of the brightest
28:02 kids in this University well this young
28:04 guy went out he checked on the
28:05 Scholastic achievement test he found it
28:08 was true that the 98 was a percentile
28:11 not an IQ he went back to his courses
28:13 and two years later he was in the top 10
28:15 in a 30,000 student University he was
28:17 leading in all of his classes once he
28:19 changed his reality once he changed his
28:21 beliefs about his intelligence his
28:24 reality changed automatically now an
28:26 important point with regard to this is
28:28 that every one of us has self-limiting
28:29 beliefs every one of us believes
28:31 ourselves to be limited in some way
28:32 every one of us believes ourselves to be
28:34 limited in intelligence creativity
28:36 money-making ability I can't sell I
28:38 can't speak in front of audiences we
28:40 tend to think that we are not capable
28:41 being on time we're not mechanically
28:43 inclined and so on and so forth but
28:45 exhaustive research demonstrates that
28:47 talents are pretty evenly spread
28:50 throughout the population that most of
28:53 the limitations we have do not exist in
28:56 reality they exist only in your own mind
28:58 and one of the starting points of great
29:00 achievement is to start questioning
29:02 those self-limiting beliefs and throw
29:05 them off and act as if they did not
29:07 exist and when you act as if they didn't
29:10 exist slow and behold they simply
29:13 disappear okay the next law is what is
29:16 called the law of expectations now the
29:17 law of expectations is a law that has
29:19 been talked about throughout all of
29:20 human history just like in the law of
29:23 belief law of belief William James of
29:25 harvy said belief creates the actual
29:26 fact as a man thinketh in his heart or
29:28 as he believeth so is he the law of
29:30 expectations over and over say what you
29:33 expect you get you get not what you want
29:35 but what you expect that your
29:37 expectations especially your
29:39 expectations about outcomes how you
29:41 think things are going to turn out
29:44 become your own self-fulfilling
29:47 prophecies and Dr Robert rosenfall of of
29:49 Harvard University has done something
29:53 like 300 experiments on expectations
29:55 theory on what is called experiment
29:56 Theory and he finds that your
29:58 expectations have an effect on other
30:01 people and events and
30:03 circumstances even if your expectations
30:06 are based on totally false information
30:09 whatever you expect with confidence in
30:11 other words if you confidently expect
30:13 good things to happen surprise surprise
30:14 good things happen to you if you
30:16 confidently expect negative things to
30:18 happen then negative things are going to
30:20 happen to you that most successful
30:22 people have developed an attitude of
30:24 confidently expecting good things to
30:26 happen uh it's called the attitude of
30:29 positive self expectancy it is the
30:30 attitude of the winner the winner looks
30:32 for good things to happen the winner
30:35 expects to win in advance and lo and
30:37 behold whatever you expect with
30:40 confidence tends to come true even if
30:41 the information upon which your
30:44 expectations is based is totally false
30:47 now let me give you an example of
30:49 expectations uh some years ago Dr
30:51 Rosenthal after conducting a variety of
30:53 different experiments came to the
30:55 conclusion that the expectations that
30:57 teachers had of students was having a
30:59 tremendous effect effect on their
31:00 ability to learn and their grade level
31:02 averages so he put together a series of
31:04 experiments and then one major
31:06 experiment which was tremendous he went
31:08 to the San Francisco Bay area and at the
31:09 beginning of the school year he had the
31:11 principal call in three teachers the
31:13 three teachers were told that by the
31:15 principal as a result of teaching
31:17 Excellence they had been singled out as
31:19 the three best teachers in the school
31:21 and that they were going to be given 30
31:23 students each of the brightest students
31:26 in the school identified by IQ tests at
31:28 the end of the last semester they would
31:30 be able to teach these students for the
31:32 entire year and it was estimated by
31:34 experts that these students would jump
31:36 in Scholastic achievement an average of
31:39 20 to 30% over the course of that school
31:42 year now the teachers were told that one
31:43 of the conditions was that they mustn't
31:45 tell the teacher they must tell the
31:47 students and they mustn't tell their
31:49 parents they must continue to teach the
31:50 same way and classes were carefully
31:52 monitored to make sure they taught the
31:54 same way they taught before but only
31:56 they would know that they had been given
31:58 30 bright student students each to teach
32:00 for the whole year the teachers were
32:01 delighted the teachers went out they
32:03 were excited about this they worked hard
32:05 with those students they spent time
32:07 after school with them they got really
32:08 really involved in teaching more than
32:09 they ever had before and at the end of
32:11 the school year lo and behold those
32:13 three classes LED not only the school
32:14 but the entire School District in
32:16 academic accomplishment at the end of
32:17 the year they called the three teachers
32:19 in they sat them down and they
32:22 said well uh you've had a good year and
32:23 they saides it was great those kids were
32:25 so bright they were so eager to learn
32:26 they said well maybe we should tell you
32:28 the truth that this was an experiment
32:30 and the fact is that the the beginning
32:33 of the school year we selected the names
32:35 of 90 children by Lottery from the
32:37 school population at large and assigned
32:38 them to your class we didn't even know
32:41 what their IQs were they said well well
32:43 that's remarkable how could it have
32:44 happened that they did so well and then
32:45 they looked at each other and said well
32:47 of course it's because we are the three
32:49 most excellent teachers in this school
32:50 they said well the other side of it was
32:51 simply this is at the beginning of the
32:52 school year we put all the teachers
32:54 names in a hat and yours were the first
32:57 three names that were drawn so this is
32:58 what it's called call a double blind
33:00 experiment they held constant for
33:02 everything but expectations now the
33:03 expectations on the teachers were
33:05 explicit we believe that you are
33:07 excellent teachers the expectations of
33:10 the teachers on the students were
33:11 implicit they were never spoken the
33:13 teachers just treated those students as
33:15 though they were really intelligent and
33:19 the students bloomed and blossomed and
33:21 in one of the classes a student from
33:23 beginning of the year to the end of the
33:26 year jumped 25 IQ points in a subsequent
33:28 experiment a student jumped as much just
33:31 27 IQ points which is to prove that high
33:33 expectations teachers bring out
33:36 intelligence in students that is
33:38 completely unheard of Marva Collins the
33:40 famous teacher in the uh Chicago inner
33:42 city has found that if you treat
33:43 students as though they're intelligent
33:45 and talk to them and work with them as
33:46 though they are really bright they will
33:48 absolutely astonish you in terms of
33:50 academic accomplishment all right this
33:52 brings us to the critical role of
33:55 expectations in your life first part of
33:58 expectations in your life number one and
33:59 where expectations affect you
34:02 expectations of your parents we have
34:05 found that we have a tendency as adults
34:08 to try to live up to or down
34:10 to the expectation of our parents all
34:13 our lives if our parents were strong and
34:14 supportive and loving and kind and
34:16 encouraging and really believes in us
34:17 all our lives we will strive
34:19 unconsciously to live a life consistent
34:21 with those expectations if our parents
34:23 were critical and condemnatory and
34:24 bitched and complained and griped about
34:26 our grades and so on and so forth we
34:28 will find that all of our life we'll
34:31 have a tendency to hold ourselves back
34:33 so be alert to that what were the
34:34 expectations of your parents were they
34:36 positive were they negative were they
34:37 boosting or were they discouraging and
34:40 how much are they affecting you today
34:42 second area of expectations is the
34:45 expectations of your boss in all of our
34:48 studies we have found especially in the
34:50 studies on excellence in organizations
34:52 we have found that high expectations
34:54 bosses have high performance work
34:55 environments now if you work for a boss
34:58 who is negative critical and condemn the
35:00 if you work for a boss that has negative
35:01 expectations or a negative attitude
35:03 chances are your performance will be at
35:05 the very lowest as a matter of fact if
35:06 you look at the course of your working
35:08 career you'll find that the times of
35:10 your life that you've enjoyed the most
35:13 is working under a boss that has high
35:15 positive expectations of you and your
35:18 ability isn't that correct the third
35:20 area of expectations is the expectations
35:24 you have of others especially of your
35:27 children especially of your spouse or
35:29 your mate especially of your
35:31 subordinates or the people who look up
35:34 to you you see we have are profoundly
35:36 affected by the opinions of anybody we
35:38 Respect by the attitudes toward us of
35:41 anybody we respect and if you have high
35:43 positive expectations of the people
35:45 around you especially your children they
35:48 will rise to fulfill those expectations
35:50 so the basic rule with regard to this is
35:52 always expect good things of other
35:54 people in word and deed tell them
35:57 continually I believe in you and number
35:59 four core area of expectations is the
36:01 expectations you have of yourself in the
36:04 final analysis these are the most
36:06 powerful if you have high positive
36:08 expectations of yourself you'll be
36:09 astonished at what it will mean to your
36:12 life always expect the best always
36:14 expect the best and here's a little
36:16 exercise which
36:19 I learned from one of my graduates one
36:21 of our live seminars he found that by
36:23 starting off every day with this simple
36:26 little exercise and saying to himself I
36:28 believe something wonderful is going to
36:30 happen to me today I believe something
36:33 wonderful is going to happen to me today
36:35 I believe something wonderful is going
36:38 to happen to me today that this little
36:39 exercise changed his whole attitude that
36:41 he went through the whole day with the
36:51 self-expand you know that if you will do
36:52 this if you will say before you go to
36:54 sleep I believe something wonderful is
36:56 going to happen to me tomorrow and if
36:57 you'll say when you get up in the morning
36:58 morning
36:59 I believe something wonderful is going
37:01 to happen to me today and if all day
37:02 long you say I believe something
37:03 wonderful is going to happen to me
37:05 you'll find that as you go to sleep the
37:07 next night and try this today it's a
37:09 very powerful ex sounds a little bit
37:11 corny but it's a very powerful exercise
37:13 if you'll try it you'll find that when
37:15 you go to sleep you will not be able to
37:17 think of all the wonderful things that
37:19 happened to you you'll just be surprised
37:21 that that your parking spaces will open
37:23 up and friends will call and you get
37:24 checks in the mail just your life will
37:27 be a series of really positive happiness
37:30 experiences so always expect the best I
37:31 believe something wonderful is going to
37:32 happen to me today and by the
37:34 inexorability of a law of nature it's
37:36 going to happen to you I can assure you
37:38 it's happened to thousands and thousands
37:39 and thousands of our graduates who will
37:42 literally astonish you the effect of
37:44 this corny little exercise all right the
37:46 next law is what is called The Law of
37:49 Attraction now the Law of Attraction
37:53 simply says that you are a living
37:56 magnet you are a living
37:58 magnet and that you inevitably attract
38:00 into your life the people and
38:02 circumstances that are in harmony with
38:05 your dominant thought in the universe we
38:08 know that all of energy is in a state of
38:10 vibration that everything is vibrating
38:12 even this board is vibrating your your
38:14 skin is vibrating every substance is
38:16 vibrating because of its molecular
38:18 structure and we also know this is a law
38:20 of radiation that everything is
38:23 vibrating outward the process of entropy
38:25 and we find that whatever you are
38:28 thinking your thoughts are also a form
38:30 of energy that is vibrating and
38:33 radiating out from you and that travels
38:34 at the speed of light so that you can
38:36 affect people in circumstances at Great
38:37 distances have you ever had an
38:38 experience where you're thinking about
38:40 somebody and the telephone rings and
38:41 it's them have you ever had an
38:43 experience where you phone somebody else
38:44 and they say we were just talking about
38:47 you it just leaps into your mind have
38:48 you ever had an experience when you're
38:49 in tune with your husband or wife and
38:51 you think you know I'd like to go out to
38:53 dinner at such and such a place tonight
38:54 and you call home and they will say why
38:56 don't we go to dinner at such and such a
38:58 place these are all examples of this Law
39:00 of Attraction the law of attraction is
39:02 considered by many to be one of the most
39:04 important laws of human existence in
39:08 this you will always attract to yourself
39:10 positive or negative people and
39:13 circumstances that harmonize with your
39:15 dominant thoughts that whatever you're
39:17 thinking on a continuing basis you're
39:19 attracting into your life you're drawing
39:21 it into your life like a magnet that's
39:23 why it's so important that you keep your
39:25 thoughts on what you want keep your
39:26 thoughts on what you desire and keep
39:28 your thoughts off of what you don't want
39:30 and by the way as you advance and
39:32 develop and become more proficient and
39:35 more sharp with these methods The Law of
39:36 Attraction will work faster for you and
39:39 with greater accuracy so so be careful
39:42 use it uh right the last law we'll talk
39:43 about in this session is called the law of
39:44 of
39:51 Correspondence is a law that says and
39:54 it's quoted by Jesus as within so
39:59 without as within so without
40:01 and what it simply means is this it
40:04 means that your outer world is a mirror
40:05 and that's the probably the best word
40:07 your outer world is a mirror and it
40:10 simply reflects back to you what is
40:13 going on in your inner world that your
40:16 outer world is the result of your inner
40:17 world that what is going on within
40:20 determines what is going on without that
40:22 if you want to change your outer world
40:25 you have to change your inner world now
40:26 that means that you can look at your
40:27 words you can look at your level of
40:30 Health what is going on in terms of your
40:32 physical health is largely determined by
40:34 what is going on in in your mind what is
40:36 going on in your relationships is the
40:38 most perfect example because you find
40:40 that when you are feeling good inside
40:41 your relationships go smoothly when
40:43 you're feeling negative or stressed
40:45 inside your relationships go poorly your
40:47 relationships are the miror image
40:50 reflection of the quality of your own
40:51 personality you can tell how healthy
40:53 your personality is by looking at the
40:56 relationships around you your wealth is
40:58 a very important thing the level of
41:00 financial wealth the level of comfort
41:02 that you have is a direct relationship
41:04 of what you have put into your mind in
41:08 terms of thought and preparation for
41:10 achieving wealth and affluence if you
41:12 wish to be more successful on the
41:13 outside you have to be more successful
41:15 on the inside and the more you go to
41:17 work on the inside which is the only
41:19 part of your whole life that you can
41:21 control the more you go to work on the
41:24 inside the more rapidly your external
41:26 World changes the big mistake in life
41:27 and the reason why most people are
41:30 unhappy is why it's because most people
41:31 try to change the external World which
41:33 they cannot control and they leave the
41:36 internal World messy it' be the same as
41:38 trying to make an automobile run better
41:40 by washing the outside of it polishing
41:42 the outside of it and changing the tires
41:44 no you got to go to work on the inside
41:47 workings as you change your mind as you
41:49 change what is going on inside you
41:52 change what is going on outside now many
41:55 years ago Earl Nightingale the great
41:57 success philosopher woke up and in the
41:59 middle of the night with a quotation
42:01 which changed his life and changed the
42:03 lives of millions of others which sort
42:05 of tacks on to all of these laws that
42:07 we're talking about and was simply this
42:10 is you become what you think about you
42:12 become what you think about and since
42:15 the only thing that you can control is
42:17 your thinking if you change what you are thinking
42:20 thinking
42:22 about you will begin to change your
42:24 reality if you change what you expect
42:25 you change what you believe you change
42:27 your dominant thoughts you change your
42:29 inner workings you begin to attract into
42:31 your life people circumstances events
42:33 opportunities and everything consistent
42:35 with your new thoughts the reason people
42:36 are unsuccessful as they think thoughts
42:38 of unsuccess or
42:41 failure another line which is very very
42:43 important says that all causation is
42:46 mental we live in a mental Universe all
42:49 causation is mental if you wish to
42:51 change your Universe you have to change
42:53 your mentality and this brings us to the
42:55 most important line of all which is
42:56 simply this and let me write it over here
42:57 here
43:00 if you change your
43:05 thinking
43:15 life change your thinking and you change your
43:16 your
43:19 life now over the course of years you
43:21 have accumulated and gathered enormous
43:22 amount of information you've accumulated
43:24 and gathered an enormous number of
43:26 experiences some of them positive some
43:27 of them negative every single one of
43:29 them is stored away every single one of
43:32 them is having an effect on what is
43:35 happening to you right now in the New
43:37 Testament Jesus had a beautiful line
43:38 which I refer to and I think about it
43:40 all the time he said by their fruits you
43:43 shall know them and what it simply meant
43:45 was that you can tell what is going on
43:47 inside the person what the fundamental
43:49 character and thought life of a person
43:52 is by looking at the fruits of their
43:53 external Life by looking at their health
43:55 looking at their relationships looking
43:57 at their levels of success if you change
43:59 your thinking you change your life and
44:01 as we proceed through this course we're
44:03 going to show you systematically how you
44:05 can change your thinking and bring it
44:08 into perfect correlation inside with a
44:10 type of successful happy
44:15 Dynamic vital living successful life
44:28 outside session three unlocking your
44:30 potential when we talk about human
44:31 potential have you ever wondered what
44:34 accounts for the huge disparity in
44:36 results and performance between one
44:37 person and another you know a person
44:41 who's making $250,000 a year is not 10
44:43 times smarter or better than a person
44:46 who's making $25,000 a year why is there
44:48 10 times the difference in income and
44:49 you go all the way up the ladder the
44:52 person who's making $ 2.5 million a year
44:54 is that person a hundred times better
44:56 smarter than a person making 25,000 a year
44:57 year
45:00 impossible in a recent study of IQs they
45:02 picked a thousand men and women out of
45:04 the population and tested them for IQ
45:06 they found that the top person in that
45:09 thousand selection was only two and one
45:12 half times smarter than the bottom
45:14 person in that selection of IQs only two
45:16 and a half times the disparity and
45:18 that's probably true over the whole
45:20 population so what accounts for this
45:22 great difference well we talk about
45:24 human potential we come down to a very
45:26 simple formula that I came up with some
45:28 years ago that probably explains it a
45:31 little bit the formula starts off with
45:33 what we call IIA which is inborn
45:35 attributes that's the qualities the
45:37 intelligence the ability the temperament
45:39 the things that you're born with that
45:42 you can't really change very much plus
45:44 acquired attributes now acquired
45:46 attributes are very important those are
45:49 your education your training your skill
45:51 your experience knowledge wisdom and so
45:55 on multiplied times a which is your
45:58 attitude equals indiv idual human
46:00 potential or individual Human
46:02 Performance or individual human results
46:04 if you like now of these three inborn
46:06 attributes are largely fixed at Birth
46:08 acquired attributes can be changed but
46:10 it takes a while to change them although
46:11 sometimes they can be changed very
46:13 rapidly one valuable piece of
46:14 information can dramatically change your
46:17 Effectiveness but attitudes can be
46:20 increased or decreased dramatically in
46:23 seconds that every single time we
46:25 improve our attitude we multiply all our
46:28 capabilities so that attitude has been
46:29 rightly called the most important
46:31 language in the human or the most
46:33 important word in the human language
46:35 everything that we do in life according
46:37 to a Harvard study amongst executive
46:42 recruiters will be 85% attitudinal 85%
46:44 of your success will beer be determined
46:45 by your attitude that means determined
46:47 by how positive or how much of a
46:50 positive mental attitude you have people
46:52 with positive mental attitudes tend to
46:54 advance more rapidly move to the top of
46:56 valuable organizations earn more money
46:58 get more life satisfaction and so on now
46:59 a positive mental attitude doesn't mean
47:01 that you dance around in the street and
47:03 and throw flowers it just means that you
47:05 take a generally
47:07 constructive attitude or approach
47:09 towards your work your life your
47:11 problems your relationships and so on
47:13 but according to the Cox reports on
47:15 American Business according to Success
47:18 magazine 85% or more of everything that
47:20 you accomplish will be attitudinal so
47:22 our question is where do attitudes come
47:23 from and we found that attitudes come from
47:25 from
47:27 expectations very very simple we talked
47:29 about that before and a very powerful
47:31 way to instantaneously improve your
47:34 attitude is to say to yourself I I
47:36 believe something wonderful is going to
47:38 happen to me today as we said before our
47:41 expectations about outcomes determines
47:42 our attitude in other words if you
47:44 expect things to turn out well you're
47:45 going to have a positive attitude if you
47:46 expect things to turn out negatively
47:47 you're going to have a negative attitude
47:48 and the wonderful thing is you can
47:50 manufacture your own expectations I mean
47:52 you can expect whatever you want you can
47:53 expect good things you can expect
47:55 negative things and chances are you
47:57 won't be disappointed where do our
47:59 expectations come from our expectations
48:01 come from our
48:04 beliefs if you like and our values these
48:07 are the core or the central motivating
48:09 factors in our personality our beliefs
48:11 and values and this brings us to an
48:13 understanding of human potential it
48:15 means that basically our attitude is the
48:18 outward expression of what is going on
48:20 internally consistent with the mental
48:22 laws that we talked about and with
48:24 regard to beliefs each of us has a
48:26 bundle of beliefs way down deep inside
48:28 which psychologists call the
48:31 self-concept now the self-concept or the
48:32 discovery of it has been considered by
48:35 many to be the most important single
48:36 breakthrough in understanding human
48:39 performance in the 20th century and I
48:41 personally agree the self-concept is
48:43 like if you wanted to use a military
48:46 analogy is the command center or if you
48:47 wanted to use a
48:50 technological analogy it is the central
48:53 program of your basic computer it is a
48:55 bundle of beliefs values attitudes
48:57 feelings ideas
48:59 and so on which are stored away down
49:01 inside which are a result of virtually
49:03 every experience you've ever had in your
49:06 life and some researchers say that the
49:08 self-concept begins to form even before
49:11 birth but this self-concept once it is
49:13 in place precedes predicts and
49:15 determines your levels of Effectiveness
49:17 and performance in every area of your
49:19 life your self-concept becomes the
49:23 command Pro Center or the master program
49:24 the self-concept or this bundle of
49:26 beliefs then determines what you will
49:27 say what you will do how you will act
49:29 how you feel and react and so on what
49:31 does it mean it means that all
49:33 improvements in your external life all
49:36 changes in your reality begin with a
49:38 change in the self-concept let me give
49:40 you an understanding of how it means
49:42 here's here's a very simple graph we
49:44 talk about human potential we say the
49:46 average person uses 10% or less of their
49:48 potential according to the research is
49:50 probably much less Stanford brain
49:53 Institute in Santa Clara California
49:54 estimates that it's probably closer to
49:57 2% but we'll be generous say the average
49:59 person is using 10% it means that in the
50:01 best of
50:04 cases the average person you and I have
50:07 90% of our potential untapped one of the
50:09 great philosophers Oliver Wendel Holmes
50:10 said the great tragedy of the average
50:12 person is they go to their grave with
50:14 their music still in them they're still
50:16 functioning on far far less of their
50:19 potential so this is human potential we
50:20 find there's a direct relationship
50:21 between human potential and the
50:23 self-concept that since our
50:25 self-concepts or our estimates of
50:27 ourselves if you like are usually far
50:30 lower than they need to be our level of
50:31 performance and Effectiveness is far
50:33 lower too and we know that our
50:35 self-concept is largely subjective what
50:36 does that mean it means that the
50:38 self-concept what we believe to be true
50:41 about ourselves is really not based in
50:42 reality it's based on information that
50:44 we've taken in we accept it as true and
50:46 to the degree to which you believe
50:48 anything about yourself it becomes true
50:50 for you because you act in a manner
50:51 consistent with it you know there's some
50:52 people who read their horoscopes and
50:53 believe that their horoscopes are
50:55 predicting their future there's some
50:56 people who will take criticism and
50:58 condemnation from other people that they
51:00 don't even respect and believe that that
51:02 is an adequate or accurate reflection of
51:03 their own abilities but whatever you
51:06 believe whatever you accept as true
51:08 becomes true for you now we also know
51:10 that as an adult you have a variety of
51:12 self-concepts you have a self-concept
51:15 for how you dress how much you weigh how
51:17 much you eat how well you speak in
51:19 public what kind of a parent you are
51:20 what kind of a child you are to your
51:22 parents what kind of a husband or wife
51:24 you are what kind of a lover what kind
51:27 of a driver interesting
51:29 driving all men have a very positive
51:31 self-concept with regard to driving
51:33 women don't understand this but all men
51:37 are born with an inherent genius at
51:39 driving that men are all great drivers
51:40 and if you don't believe it all you have
51:42 to do ladies who are watching this all
51:44 you have to do is think about the last
51:45 time you tried to correct a man's
51:47 driving you'll find it is not well
51:50 responded to how do we respond when
51:52 somebody challenges our self concept by
51:54 suggesting that we are not the person we
51:56 think we are we become defensive we
51:58 become angry we become irritable we
52:01 become uh difficult to get along with we
52:02 have a self-concept for how creative we
52:05 are how intelligent how fast we read how
52:06 good we are at Athletics and if you
52:08 practice a variety of different sports
52:10 you have a self-concept for every one of
52:12 those Sports we have a self-concept for
52:13 how well we cook how well we raise our
52:16 children how well we clean our home what
52:18 kind of cars we drive and so on we also
52:19 have a self-concept for what it's worth
52:21 for how much money we earns
52:23 interestingly enough you can never earn
52:24 more than 10% above or below your
52:27 self-concept level of income that your
52:28 self-concept determines your income
52:31 level this self-concept is level is
52:33 called your comfort zone and even if you
52:35 want more money you will find that the
52:38 natural human tendency of all action is
52:40 to struggle and strive to get into a
52:43 comfort zone and then to stay there that
52:45 if you earn 10% or more above your
52:47 self-concept level of income you will
52:49 have an irresistible urge to get rid of
52:50 the money you'll give it away you'll
52:52 spend it you'll blow it you'll spend it
52:54 extravagantly you'll even lose it if you
52:55 get enough that's why people who win
52:58 lotteries are often flat broke two or 3
53:00 years later they just burn the money
53:01 because the money is far beyond their
53:04 self-concept if you go 10% or more below
53:06 your self-concept level of income you
53:07 find yourself scrambling you work harder
53:09 you work longer you think more
53:11 creatively you look at different ways to
53:13 increase your income or or second income
53:15 opportunities the only way to improve
53:16 any part of your life including your
53:19 income is to raise your self-concept
53:20 level of income by beginning to think
53:23 about yourself continually in terms of
53:24 earning more money if you want to lose
53:25 weight the only way you can lose weight
53:28 is what is to think thin by beginning to
53:30 think of yourself as a thinner person if
53:32 you want to become a more popular a more
53:34 loving a happier person a healthier
53:37 person you have to begin to think over
53:39 and over about those things until they
53:41 become part of your new self-concept and
53:42 we'll talk about that a little bit later
53:44 it's an essential part of programming
53:46 your mind for Success your overall
53:48 self-concept is determined by the
53:50 average of your self-concepts and all
53:52 the areas that you consider important
53:54 now your self-concept is made up of
53:56 three critical Parts the first first
53:58 part of the self-concept is the self
54:01 ideal the self ideal is the person you
54:04 would most like to be it is your idea of
54:07 what constitutes a winner it is your
54:09 vision or your mission or your ideal of
54:13 the very best you that you can be now
54:14 one of the things that we know about
54:16 successful people is this is successful
54:19 people have very clear self ideals they
54:20 have very clear ideas of who they want
54:22 to be in the future unsuccessful people
54:25 have very vague ideals number two is
54:27 your self-image your
54:30 self-image is a picture of the way you
54:32 is the way you see yourself and the way
54:34 you think about yourself your self-image
54:37 the inner mirror is how you perceive
54:40 yourself now and determines your current
54:42 performance on a day-to-day basis the
54:44 third part is your self-esteem now your
54:46 self-esteem is how you feel about
54:49 yourself how you feel about yourself is
54:51 the engine Force it's the motor it's the
54:54 power force within your subconscious
54:56 it's the power force within the selfcon
54:58 concept and it determines virtually
55:00 everything that happens to you the best
55:02 definition of self-esteem is how much
55:04 you like yourself how much you like
55:06 yourself as a parent how much you like
55:07 yourself as an employee how much you
55:09 like yourself as a boss how much you
55:11 like yourself as a money earner a
55:13 professional speaker an athlete and so
55:16 on how much you like yourself your level
55:19 of self-esteem your overall emotional
55:21 feeling about any area of your life
55:22 determines your performance and
55:25 Effectiveness in that area wonderfully
55:26 enough since you become what you think
55:29 about your self-concept is malleable
55:31 your self-esteem can be built by
55:34 repeating over and over again I like
55:39 myself I like myself I like myself I
55:42 like myself I like myself I like myself
55:44 the more you say I like myself I like
55:46 myself I like myself the more you repeat
55:48 that over and over again the more your
55:49 self-esteem goes up the more your
55:50 self-esteem goes up the more your
55:52 overall self-concept goes up when your
55:54 overall self-concept goes up you perform
55:56 better at everything else that you
55:58 attempt that every single time you say I
56:00 like myself I like myself I like myself
56:02 I like myself I like myself it's like
56:03 pumping yourself up psychologically
56:05 everything that happens that causes your
56:06 self-esteem to go up causes you to
56:08 perform better everything that happens
56:10 that causes your self-esteem to go down
56:11 causes you to perform worse make more
56:14 mistakes be unhappier and so on now
56:16 critical point about liking yourself
56:19 about self-esteem and self-liking is
56:21 that number one is you can never like or
56:24 love anybody else more than you like or
56:26 love yourself that your level of self
56:28 esteem is the determinant of the quality
56:30 of the relationships you have with
56:31 others and number two is you can never
56:34 expect anybody else to like or respect
56:35 you more than you like or respect
56:37 yourself that how much you like and
56:38 respect yourself determines their
56:41 attitudes toward you every single School
56:44 of Psychology today is coming to
56:46 agreement on the fact that how much you
56:48 genuinely like and accept yourself as a
56:51 valuable and worthwhile human being has
56:53 an effect on everything that happens to
56:55 you how much you'll like yourself and
56:56 what you can do is you can can improve
56:58 your self-esteem but then I like myself
57:00 I like myself I like myself I like
57:01 myself I like myself well this brings us
57:04 to the question a word is self-esteem
57:06 where does the self-concept come from
57:08 and we found that self-concept if
57:11 anything self-concept is malleable in
57:12 that you are not born with a
57:14 self-concept is that you're not born
57:15 with any idea of yourself you're not
57:18 born with self-image or self-esteem that
57:21 you're born in a way as pure potential
57:22 it's probably the best way to put it the
57:24 average person comes into the world as
57:27 pure potential and has no self concept
57:28 that everything you are today every
57:30 feeling that you have every attitude or
57:33 value you had to learn over the course
57:35 of your lifetime we also know that the
57:36 child comes into the world with a very
57:39 high need for love and touching and a
57:41 tremendous amount of Research indicates
57:43 that we need a lot of love and touching
57:45 all of our lives but especially in our
57:47 formative years because as a child we
57:50 learn who we are how valuable we are
57:52 whether we're important intelligent
57:55 attractive lovable uh funny we learn all
57:57 of the these things by the way our
57:59 parents treat us if our parents our
58:01 siblings our aunts and uncles but
58:02 especially our parents treat us like
58:04 we're really important kids then we grow
58:06 up thinking that we're really important
58:07 if our parents do not then something
58:10 else happens we know that the first few
58:12 years of life are the most important in
58:14 developing the self-concept that a child
58:16 starts off at zero when the child is
58:19 born with no idea of who she is or who
58:21 he is or how valuable they are and in
58:24 the first second third fourth and fifth
58:27 years of life youth psychologist used to
58:28 think it was 5 years but now they're
58:30 saying it's 3 years in these first three
58:32 years of life children learn who they
58:35 are they say if you give enough high
58:37 quality and quantity of love to a child
58:41 in the first 3 to 5 years you set them
58:43 up for life you set them up on a solid
58:44 foundation of self-esteem
58:47 self-confidence self-worth self- value
58:48 as a matter of fact there's a direct
58:50 relationship between the quality and
58:52 quantity of love and the development of
58:56 healthy personality that the more love
58:57 conditional love that a child receives
58:59 in those formative years the stronger is
59:02 the foundation of the personality to
59:04 reverse the equation that virtually all
59:07 problems in psychosis Neurosis
59:10 personality disturbances uh and behavior
59:14 problems arise from problems way down in
59:16 the self-concept and we can go back as
59:18 adults here's our adult personality we
59:20 can go back as adults we can correct the
59:23 flaws in our foundation the cracks if
59:25 you like by repeating over and over
59:27 again I like myself I like myself I like
59:29 myself and driving down that healing
59:32 concrete deep into the foundation of our
59:35 personality remember children need love
59:37 like roses need rain children that are
59:40 deprived of Love often die of Love
59:42 starvation it's a disease called
59:44 marasmus now what else do we know about
59:45 children we know that children come into
59:48 the world with two remarkable attributes
59:50 the first is that they're Fearless
59:51 children are born with no fears they're
59:53 not afraid of anything except falling
59:55 and loud noises and this is expressed in
59:59 the attitude I can children come into
60:01 the world believing they can do anything and anybody's ever raised a child to the
60:02 and anybody's ever raised a child to the age of three or four or five knows you
60:04 age of three or four or five knows you have to spend those first few years
60:06 have to spend those first few years stopping them from killing themselves
60:07 stopping them from killing themselves because they're little kamakazi Pilots
60:09 because they're little kamakazi Pilots because they're not afraid of anything
60:11 because they're not afraid of anything the second attribute is they come into
60:12 the second attribute is they come into the world completely spontaneous they
60:15 the world completely spontaneous they say what they want they do what they
60:16 say what they want they do what they want they are completely uninhibited
60:20 want they are completely uninhibited they just are completely unafraid they
60:22 they just are completely unafraid they do anything that they want and this is
60:23 do anything that they want and this is expressed in the attitude I don't have
60:25 expressed in the attitude I don't have to
60:26 to I don't have to if you ever try to
60:29 I don't have to if you ever try to control a child you'll find that the
60:31 control a child you'll find that the attitude of a chunk child the first
60:33 attitude of a chunk child the first thing they say is when you start giving
60:34 thing they say is when you start giving them ERS the first thing they learn is
60:35 them ERS the first thing they learn is no they say no I don't have to well of
60:39 no they say no I don't have to well of course we eventually uh change their
60:42 course we eventually uh change their minds on that one way or another but
60:44 minds on that one way or another but these are the two attributes that each
60:45 these are the two attributes that each of us come into the world with you come
60:46 of us come into the world with you come into the world unafraid and uninhibited
60:49 into the world unafraid and uninhibited what does that mean it means that our
60:51 what does that mean it means that our natural Birthright is to be unafraid and
60:54 natural Birthright is to be unafraid and uninhibited and that only when we can
60:57 uninhibited and that only when we can create the same situation in adult life
60:59 create the same situation in adult life where we are unafraid and
61:02 where we are unafraid and uninhibited do we feel truly great about
61:06 uninhibited do we feel truly great about ourselves the very best organizations
61:08 ourselves the very best organizations the very best companies are those that
61:09 the very best companies are those that create an environment where people who
61:11 create an environment where people who feel unafraid and unreserved to be
61:14 feel unafraid and unreserved to be themselves and to do the very best they
61:16 themselves and to do the very best they can well as we grow up we know that
61:19 can well as we grow up we know that children learn two ways the first way
61:21 children learn two ways the first way they learn is by
61:22 they learn is by imitation they imitate one or both
61:25 imitation they imitate one or both parents especially the dominant parent
61:28 parents especially the dominant parent and sometimes the parent dominant parent
61:29 and sometimes the parent dominant parent will change as the child is growing up
61:31 will change as the child is growing up sometimes children will imitate the
61:32 sometimes children will imitate the father sometimes the mother but they
61:34 father sometimes the mother but they learn by imitation many of the
61:36 learn by imitation many of the characteristics and habits that we have
61:38 characteristics and habits that we have as adults we learn from our parents if
61:40 as adults we learn from our parents if you ever had a CH the opportunity or the
61:42 you ever had a CH the opportunity or the occasion to scream at one of your
61:43 occasion to scream at one of your children or shout at one of them and
61:45 children or shout at one of them and find yourself saying the same things
61:46 find yourself saying the same things your mother or father sent to you said
61:47 your mother or father sent to you said to you when you were a child well we
61:50 to you when you were a child well we imitate sometimes we imitate their walk
61:52 imitate sometimes we imitate their walk sometimes we imitate their talk
61:53 sometimes we imitate their talk sometimes we imitate their values their
61:54 sometimes we imitate their values their beliefs and so on even if those values
61:56 beliefs and so on even if those values and beliefs are of no value why it's
61:59 and beliefs are of no value why it's because our parents are like Gods to us
62:01 because our parents are like Gods to us when we're children the second way that
62:02 when we're children the second way that we learn is by moving from
62:05 we learn is by moving from discomfort from what doesn't feel good
62:07 discomfort from what doesn't feel good toward Comfort now Freud called this the
62:11 toward Comfort now Freud called this the Pleasure Principle is that we move
62:13 Pleasure Principle is that we move toward what makes us feel comfortable
62:15 toward what makes us feel comfortable what gives us pleasure what makes us
62:17 what gives us pleasure what makes us feel good about ourselves we move from
62:20 feel good about ourselves we move from discomfort toward Comfort that's how we
62:22 discomfort toward Comfort that's how we learn to become toilet trained we say
62:25 learn to become toilet trained we say it's no that it's no longer fun to walk
62:28 it's no that it's no longer fun to walk around with pee and poop in our diapers
62:30 around with pee and poop in our diapers so we watch what our parents do we watch
62:32 so we watch what our parents do we watch what our older siblings do and we see a
62:34 what our older siblings do and we see a those people aren't uh doing this and
62:36 those people aren't uh doing this and that's how we learn to walk that's how
62:37 that's how we learn to walk that's how we learn everything so we move from
62:38 we learn everything so we move from discomfort toward Comfort throughout our
62:41 discomfort toward Comfort throughout our lives by the way that's how we learn we
62:43 lives by the way that's how we learn we imitate by reading what other people
62:45 imitate by reading what other people have done by studying books by at our
62:47 have done by studying books by at our work we imitate when we go to school and
62:49 work we imitate when we go to school and we do what gives us a positive payoff
62:51 we do what gives us a positive payoff what gives us positive reinforcement
62:53 what gives us positive reinforcement what gives us pleasure and we do less of
62:55 what gives us pleasure and we do less of those things that give us discomfort or
62:58 those things that give us discomfort or pain now very early in life as a mistake
63:01 pain now very early in life as a mistake or as as as a result of mistakes that
63:03 or as as as a result of mistakes that parents make an upbringing children
63:05 parents make an upbringing children begin to learn negative habit patterns
63:08 begin to learn negative habit patterns and negative habit patterns have their
63:09 and negative habit patterns have their root primarily in destructive criticism
63:13 root primarily in destructive criticism destructive
63:14 destructive criticism begins very early in life
63:17 criticism begins very early in life sometimes in the first few months and
63:19 sometimes in the first few months and destructive criticism is used by parents
63:22 destructive criticism is used by parents to direct and control their children
63:26 to direct and control their children unfortunately it has a very very
63:30 unfortunately it has a very very dangerous and damaging effect on
63:32 dangerous and damaging effect on children in that destructive criticism
63:34 children in that destructive criticism begins to undermine the Integrity of the
63:36 begins to undermine the Integrity of the child's personality and more of us
63:39 child's personality and more of us including myself and including most of
63:41 including myself and including most of you have been undermined and hurt by
63:43 you have been undermined and hurt by destructive criticism probably more than
63:45 destructive criticism probably more than all the war wars in history now as a
63:48 all the war wars in history now as a result of destructive criticism we begin
63:51 result of destructive criticism we begin to develop negative habit patterns
63:53 to develop negative habit patterns negative habit patterns are conditioned
63:55 negative habit patterns are conditioned responses to stimuli negative habit
63:57 responses to stimuli negative habit patterns develop very very early in life
64:00 patterns develop very very early in life they're developed as a result of a
64:02 they're developed as a result of a repetition of fear and pain over and
64:06 repetition of fear and pain over and over again they're developed as the
64:07 over again they're developed as the result of destructive criticism physical
64:09 result of destructive criticism physical punishment and so on very early in life
64:11 punishment and so on very early in life we begin to develop two major
64:13 we begin to develop two major manifestations which follow us
64:15 manifestations which follow us throughout our lives and more than
64:17 throughout our lives and more than anything else inhibit our potential as
64:19 anything else inhibit our potential as adults the first is what is called the
64:21 adults the first is what is called the inhibitive negative habit pattern the
64:23 inhibitive negative habit pattern the inhibitive negative habit pattern
64:26 inhibitive negative habit pattern is learned when the child is told over
64:28 is learned when the child is told over and over again don't get away from there
64:30 and over again don't get away from there stop leave that alone and the child is
64:32 stop leave that alone and the child is punished whenever the child tries
64:35 punished whenever the child tries something new or gets into something or
64:37 something new or gets into something or smells something or pours something over
64:39 smells something or pours something over or or breaks something accidentally the
64:41 or or breaks something accidentally the parent blows up and gets angry and upset
64:44 parent blows up and gets angry and upset you see the child is driven by an
64:45 you see the child is driven by an insatiable curiosity to explore his or
64:48 insatiable curiosity to explore his or her world and what happens is when they
64:50 her world and what happens is when they do explore it and they get into
64:51 do explore it and they get into something they tip something over if the
64:53 something they tip something over if the parent overreacts and spanks the child
64:55 parent overreacts and spanks the child the child soon begins to think that
64:57 the child soon begins to think that every time I try something new every
64:59 every time I try something new every time I try something different every
65:01 time I try something different every time I go beyond my boundaries every
65:03 time I go beyond my boundaries every time I move out of my comfort zone every
65:05 time I move out of my comfort zone every time I don't play it safe I get spanked
65:08 time I don't play it safe I get spanked I get punished I get hurt I get sent to
65:10 I get punished I get hurt I get sent to my bedroom and I feel terrible and
65:12 my bedroom and I feel terrible and pretty soon the child develops the
65:13 pretty soon the child develops the feeling of I can't I can't I can't every
65:18 feeling of I can't I can't I can't every time I try something different I get
65:20 time I try something different I get punished I can't I can't I can't this is
65:24 punished I can't I can't I can't this is like the pavlovian response where the
65:26 like the pavlovian response where the Pavo would ring the bell and feed the
65:28 Pavo would ring the bell and feed the dog meat and the dog would salivate and
65:31 dog meat and the dog would salivate and Pavo would ring the bell while they feed
65:33 Pavo would ring the bell while they feed fed the dog meat and the dog would
65:35 fed the dog meat and the dog would salivate they keep doing that pretty
65:36 salivate they keep doing that pretty soon Pavo just ring the bell and the dog
65:39 soon Pavo just ring the bell and the dog would salivate what happens in adult
65:41 would salivate what happens in adult life is that this creates what we call
65:42 life is that this creates what we call the fear of failure the fear of failure
65:46 the fear of failure the fear of failure is a conditioned response to a process
65:49 is a conditioned response to a process of destructive criticism that occurs in
65:51 of destructive criticism that occurs in the first five or six years of life the
65:53 the first five or six years of life the fear of failure automatically triggers
65:55 fear of failure automatically triggers us we feel anxious tense uneasy we feel
65:58 us we feel anxious tense uneasy we feel tension and stress in our solar plexus
66:01 tension and stress in our solar plexus we feel like withdrawing and getting
66:03 we feel like withdrawing and getting away from the event and the fear of
66:05 away from the event and the fear of failure is the major reason for failure
66:07 failure is the major reason for failure in adult life it's the major reason why
66:09 in adult life it's the major reason why we hold back from fulfilling our
66:11 we hold back from fulfilling our potentials as a matter of fact all
66:13 potentials as a matter of fact all negative habit patterns are experienced
66:15 negative habit patterns are experienced in the physical body that you can tell a
66:18 in the physical body that you can tell a negative habit pattern because you
66:20 negative habit pattern because you actually feel it in your physical body
66:23 actually feel it in your physical body the inhibitive negative habit pattern
66:24 the inhibitive negative habit pattern the fear of failure I can't is
66:26 the fear of failure I can't is experience first of all in the solar
66:27 experience first of all in the solar plexus you ever have an occasion where
66:29 plexus you ever have an occasion where you have to speak in front of a group or
66:31 you have to speak in front of a group or you have to go into an performance
66:33 you have to go into an performance review or you have to make a cold call
66:35 review or you have to make a cold call first of all the solar plexus tightens
66:36 first of all the solar plexus tightens up if fear situation continues you start
66:40 up if fear situation continues you start to breathe harder and your heart starts
66:42 to breathe harder and your heart starts to beat faster your respiratory rate and
66:44 to beat faster your respiratory rate and sometimes you get a headache like a
66:45 sometimes you get a headache like a migraine headache in the front of your
66:47 migraine headache in the front of your head sometimes your throat will tighten
66:49 head sometimes your throat will tighten up and you won't be able to speak you'll
66:50 up and you won't be able to speak you'll go completely dry sometimes you'll get
66:52 go completely dry sometimes you'll get so tense and so frightened that you'll
66:54 so tense and so frightened that you'll have to run and go to the bathroom
66:56 have to run and go to the bathroom these are all manifestations there's no
66:58 these are all manifestations there's no physical danger but there's a
66:59 physical danger but there's a psychological danger a conditioned
67:01 psychological danger a conditioned response and whenever we feel these
67:02 response and whenever we feel these things the natural tendency is to back
67:04 things the natural tendency is to back away from the situation that's causing
67:05 away from the situation that's causing them which is the reason why we don't
67:07 them which is the reason why we don't achieve very much if we are held back
67:10 achieve very much if we are held back the second negative habit pattern is the
67:12 the second negative habit pattern is the compulsive now the compulsive negative
67:14 compulsive now the compulsive negative habit pattern is learned when children
67:16 habit pattern is learned when children are told over and over again you better
67:17 are told over and over again you better or else if you don't you're in big
67:19 or else if you don't you're in big trouble now you're going to get it it's
67:21 trouble now you're going to get it it's when children are made the recipients of
67:25 when children are made the recipients of what is is called conditional love
67:27 what is is called conditional love parents don't mean to do this but what
67:29 parents don't mean to do this but what they do is they suggest to the child
67:31 they do is they suggest to the child that you are not loved therefore you're
67:33 that you are not loved therefore you're not safe unless and until you do what we
67:36 not safe unless and until you do what we want the child grows up feeling that I
67:40 want the child grows up feeling that I have to do what Mommy wants I have to
67:42 have to do what Mommy wants I have to please Mommy I have to please Daddy I
67:43 please Mommy I have to please Daddy I have to please other people I have to
67:45 have to please other people I have to please my siblings eventually I have to
67:47 please my siblings eventually I have to please my peers I have to please my
67:49 please my peers I have to please my teachers I have to please everybody they
67:51 teachers I have to please everybody they grow up with this I have to I have to I
67:54 grow up with this I have to I have to I have to I can't do what I want to do I
67:56 have to I can't do what I want to do I have to do what pleases other people
67:58 have to do what pleases other people this compulsive negative habit pattern
68:00 this compulsive negative habit pattern very early in life translates into the
68:02 very early in life translates into the fear of rejection the fear of rejection
68:06 fear of rejection the fear of rejection is experienced by men as adults as type
68:09 is experienced by men as adults as type a behavior we'll talk about type a
68:11 a behavior we'll talk about type a behavior later on in the course type a
68:13 behavior later on in the course type a behavior is a a compulsive an obsessive
68:18 behavior is a a compulsive an obsessive compulsive need to somehow please
68:20 compulsive need to somehow please somebody with no standards of
68:22 somebody with no standards of performance so that you can never
68:23 performance so that you can never accomplish it the fear of rejection
68:25 accomplish it the fear of rejection drives us it makes us very very
68:26 drives us it makes us very very sensitive to the opinions of other
68:28 sensitive to the opinions of other people we do things but that other
68:29 people we do things but that other people want we don't do things that we
68:31 people want we don't do things that we want we always trying to please others
68:33 want we always trying to please others we have a preoccupation or a concern
68:36 we have a preoccupation or a concern with the opinions and feelings and
68:37 with the opinions and feelings and attitudes of others to the point where
68:39 attitudes of others to the point where we deny our own needs now the fear of
68:42 we deny our own needs now the fear of rejection is felt down the back half of
68:44 rejection is felt down the back half of the body if you divide the body in half
68:47 the body if you divide the body in half it's felt right down the back half of
68:48 it's felt right down the back half of the body the first place you start to
68:50 the body the first place you start to feel the fear of rejection is usually in
68:52 feel the fear of rejection is usually in the shoulders and in the neck you start
68:54 the shoulders and in the neck you start to feel stiff and sore and tense
68:57 to feel stiff and sore and tense sometimes when you have a lot to do
68:58 sometimes when you have a lot to do you'll feel tremendous stress in the
68:59 you'll feel tremendous stress in the lower back the muscles will start to
69:01 lower back the muscles will start to pull in the lower back sometimes it'll
69:03 pull in the lower back sometimes it'll represent it manifest itself in fitis
69:05 represent it manifest itself in fitis and varicose veins very often it can
69:08 and varicose veins very often it can give you very bad headaches in the back
69:10 give you very bad headaches in the back of the head because the koted arteries
69:12 of the head because the koted arteries which carry blood up into the head the
69:14 which carry blood up into the head the muscles around them constrict and the
69:16 muscles around them constrict and the amount of blood flow to the Head slows
69:18 amount of blood flow to the Head slows down and you feel this pounding headache
69:20 down and you feel this pounding headache in the back of your head these two fears
69:24 in the back of your head these two fears the compulsive or these two negative
69:26 the compulsive or these two negative habit patterns the compulsive and the
69:28 habit patterns the compulsive and the inhibitive which are the result of
69:30 inhibitive which are the result of destructive criticism the great P
69:32 destructive criticism the great P destroyer of personalities plague us all
69:35 destroyer of personalities plague us all our lives now the wonderful thing about
69:37 our lives now the wonderful thing about these is because that they are because
69:39 these is because that they are because they are learned habits we can unlearn
69:42 they are learned habits we can unlearn them we can overcome the fear of failure
69:44 them we can overcome the fear of failure that holds us back we can overcome the
69:46 that holds us back we can overcome the fear of rejection that causes us to do
69:48 fear of rejection that causes us to do things that please other people rather
69:50 things that please other people rather than pleasing ourselves by working on
69:52 than pleasing ourselves by working on our own self-esteem because there is an
69:55 our own self-esteem because there is an in I relationship between self-esteem
69:58 in I relationship between self-esteem and the basic negative habit patterns is
70:01 and the basic negative habit patterns is the more you like yourself the less you
70:03 the more you like yourself the less you fear failure the more you like yourself
70:06 fear failure the more you like yourself the less you fear rejection the more you
70:08 the less you fear rejection the more you like yourself the less you fear anything
70:10 like yourself the less you fear anything and if you continue to repeat I like
70:12 and if you continue to repeat I like myself I like myself I like myself over
70:15 myself I like myself I like myself over and over again if you continue to say
70:17 and over again if you continue to say this eventually over time your
70:21 this eventually over time your self-esteem goes up higher and higher
70:24 self-esteem goes up higher and higher and higher and your fears go down as
70:26 and higher and your fears go down as your self-esteem goes up your fears go
70:29 your self-esteem goes up your fears go in the opposite
70:31 in the opposite direction now how do you deal with
70:34 direction now how do you deal with destructive criticism if you have to
70:36 destructive criticism if you have to give criticism to other people well
70:38 give criticism to other people well that's very simple many parents have
70:39 that's very simple many parents have asked us that uh how do you control
70:42 asked us that uh how do you control children one of the keys to controlling
70:44 children one of the keys to controlling children is to redirect them so that
70:45 children is to redirect them so that they're doing something constructive
70:48 they're doing something constructive versus something that is destructive
70:50 versus something that is destructive another thing to remember is that what
70:53 another thing to remember is that what you want to do is you want to give
70:54 you want to do is you want to give information criticism or constructive
70:57 information criticism or constructive criticism which means that you tell
70:59 criticism which means that you tell children what they can do or adults what
71:01 children what they can do or adults what they can do to be better remember the
71:03 they can do to be better remember the whole purpose of giving feedback of any
71:05 whole purpose of giving feedback of any kind is what it's to improve performance
71:08 kind is what it's to improve performance if you are a parent or if you are a boss
71:11 if you are a parent or if you are a boss or if you are a person in a relationship
71:13 or if you are a person in a relationship if a person is doing something wrong or
71:14 if a person is doing something wrong or inappropriate the whole purpose in in
71:16 inappropriate the whole purpose in in giving them any kind of feedback at all
71:18 giving them any kind of feedback at all is so that they'll do it better next
71:19 is so that they'll do it better next time however there's a direct
71:21 time however there's a direct relationship between self-esteem and
71:23 relationship between self-esteem and destructive criticism every time you
71:25 destructive criticism every time you criticize a person their self-esteem
71:27 criticize a person their self-esteem goes down every time their self-esteem
71:29 goes down every time their self-esteem goes down their ability to perform goes
71:31 goes down their ability to perform goes down too if you destructively criticize
71:33 down too if you destructively criticize a person often enough long enough and
71:35 a person often enough long enough and hard enough they get reach the point
71:37 hard enough they get reach the point where they won't try anything at all
71:39 where they won't try anything at all they become what we call hypers
71:41 they become what we call hypers sensitive and a hyper sensitive adult is
71:44 sensitive and a hyper sensitive adult is a person who cannot take criticism from
71:46 a person who cannot take criticism from anybody a hyper sensitive adult is a
71:47 anybody a hyper sensitive adult is a person who is very very tense and
71:49 person who is very very tense and anxious if you even suggest that they're
71:51 anxious if you even suggest that they're not doing the right thing if you have to
71:53 not doing the right thing if you have to deal with a hyper sensitive adult the
71:54 deal with a hyper sensitive adult the key is to sit them down and remember
71:56 key is to sit them down and remember four things number one always begin with
71:58 four things number one always begin with praise number two is protect the
72:02 praise number two is protect the person's self-esteem at all costs number
72:04 person's self-esteem at all costs number three is discuss the performance not the
72:07 three is discuss the performance not the person talk about the behavior rather
72:09 person talk about the behavior rather than the person and number four is is it
72:13 than the person and number four is is it number four number four is to focus on
72:17 number four number four is to focus on the future versus the past focus on what
72:20 the future versus the past focus on what is going to be done differently in the
72:22 is going to be done differently in the future or rather than what has happened
72:24 future or rather than what has happened in the past why is that very simple
72:26 in the past why is that very simple reason is because a person cannot
72:28 reason is because a person cannot control the past not being able to
72:29 control the past not being able to control the past any criticism over what
72:31 control the past any criticism over what they've done in the past causes them
72:33 they've done in the past causes them tremendous stress and frustration so let
72:35 tremendous stress and frustration so let me summarize the key to success in life
72:37 me summarize the key to success in life is a positive mental attitude a positive
72:39 is a positive mental attitude a positive mental attitude is based on expectations
72:42 mental attitude is based on expectations of success of a positive set of
72:45 of success of a positive set of expectancies positive set of
72:47 expectancies positive set of expectancies is based on beliefs and
72:48 expectancies is based on beliefs and your self-concept the core of your
72:50 your self-concept the core of your self-concept which determines your
72:52 self-concept which determines your Effectiveness in life is your
72:54 Effectiveness in life is your self-esteem and your self-esteem is
72:56 self-esteem and your self-esteem is measured by how much you like yourself
72:58 measured by how much you like yourself the two things that hold us back more
72:59 the two things that hold us back more than anything else are the fears of
73:01 than anything else are the fears of failure and the fears of rejection so
73:03 failure and the fears of rejection so one of the core secrets of success is
73:06 one of the core secrets of success is this is become a Perpetual self-esteem
73:09 this is become a Perpetual self-esteem generating organism continually be doing
73:12 generating organism continually be doing things for yourself to yourself in your
73:15 things for yourself to yourself in your life that cause you to like yourself to
73:18 life that cause you to like yourself to love yourself to accept yourself to
73:21 love yourself to accept yourself to respect yourself it caus you to feel
73:22 respect yourself it caus you to feel terrific about yourself if if you're a
73:25 terrific about yourself if if you're a boss or a parent remember that the key
73:28 boss or a parent remember that the key to Peak Performance in your home and in
73:31 to Peak Performance in your home and in your workplace is to make people feel
73:33 your workplace is to make people feel terrific about themselves and the more
73:35 terrific about themselves and the more terrific you feel about yourself the
73:37 terrific you feel about yourself the more you like yourself the more likely
73:39 more you like yourself the more likely it is that you'll make the people around
73:40 it is that you'll make the people around you like love accept and respect
73:43 you like love accept and respect themselves and you'll create a Peak
73:45 themselves and you'll create a Peak Performance environment it is the
73:47 Performance environment it is the starting point to great success and
73:49 starting point to great success and achievement in life so say over and over
73:52 achievement in life so say over and over to yourself I like myself I like myself
73:55 to yourself I like myself I like myself myself I like myself I like
74:00 myself I like myself I like myself session four your subconscious
74:02 myself session four your subconscious Powerhouse in order to unlock your full
74:05 Powerhouse in order to unlock your full potential it's absolutely essential that
74:06 potential it's absolutely essential that you understand the relationship between
74:08 you understand the relationship between the conscious and the subconscious mind
74:11 the conscious and the subconscious mind there know thousands of books have been
74:12 there know thousands of books have been written on this subject there's
74:13 written on this subject there's tremendous complexities there's
74:15 tremendous complexities there's references to the conscious and the
74:16 references to the conscious and the subconscious especially the subconscious
74:18 subconscious especially the subconscious throughout all of human history the
74:20 throughout all of human history the subconscious is often called the
74:22 subconscious is often called the PowerHouse of your being and we're going
74:23 PowerHouse of your being and we're going to talk about how you fect the
74:25 to talk about how you fect the subconscious more as we go through this
74:27 subconscious more as we go through this program but let's start off talking
74:29 program but let's start off talking about the relationship between the two
74:31 about the relationship between the two minds and what you can do to begin
74:33 minds and what you can do to begin controlling and changing the programming
74:36 controlling and changing the programming within the
74:38 within the subconscious the conscious and the
74:40 subconscious the conscious and the subconscious minds are very beautifully
74:43 subconscious minds are very beautifully designed by a master master designer if
74:45 designed by a master master designer if you know what I mean in that they have
74:47 you know what I mean in that they have very separate functions and they work
74:50 very separate functions and they work perfectly in tandem with each other
74:52 perfectly in tandem with each other probably a good way to illustrate it is
74:54 probably a good way to illustrate it is say to say this is is the conscious mind
74:56 say to say this is is the conscious mind and this is the subconscious mind
74:59 and this is the subconscious mind actually the conscious mind does about
75:01 actually the conscious mind does about 10% of your thinking it's responsible
75:04 10% of your thinking it's responsible for about 10% of your conscious
75:05 for about 10% of your conscious awareness and the subconscious mind is
75:08 awareness and the subconscious mind is at least 90% or more when we talk about
75:10 at least 90% or more when we talk about human potential and unlocking human
75:12 human potential and unlocking human potential we mean unlocking the vast
75:14 potential we mean unlocking the vast capacity or power of the subconscious so
75:17 capacity or power of the subconscious so what does the conscious mind do well the
75:19 what does the conscious mind do well the conscious mind has certain specific
75:20 conscious mind has certain specific functions first of all the conscious
75:22 functions first of all the conscious mind is objective the conscious mind can
75:25 mind is objective the conscious mind can look at the world clearly if you like
75:27 look at the world clearly if you like with Clarity and think about it
75:29 with Clarity and think about it analytically objective by meaning
75:31 analytically objective by meaning without emotion second of all the
75:34 without emotion second of all the objective mind or the sub the conscious
75:36 objective mind or the sub the conscious mind is rational and it is also
75:44 discriminating these are three of the qualities in other words it can discern
75:46 qualities in other words it can discern the differences between truth and
75:47 the differences between truth and falsehood it can analyze it is sort of
75:49 falsehood it can analyze it is sort of like the mathematical or unemotional
75:51 like the mathematical or unemotional part of the brain the conscious mind has
75:55 part of the brain the conscious mind has four major functions the first function
75:57 four major functions the first function is that the conscious mind identifies
76:00 is that the conscious mind identifies incoming data now incoming data can come
76:03 incoming data now incoming data can come from a variety of different sources it
76:05 from a variety of different sources it can be thoughts that you have or it can
76:07 can be thoughts that you have or it can be things that are happening to you in
76:09 be things that are happening to you in the external world so let us say you're
76:11 the external world so let us say you're walking across the street this is your
76:13 walking across the street this is your mind you're walking across the street
76:15 mind you're walking across the street and you hear the Roar of an automobile
76:16 and you hear the Roar of an automobile engine your eyes immediately turn to the
76:19 engine your eyes immediately turn to the right to see what the sound is and to
76:21 right to see what the sound is and to identify what is that sound when you see
76:23 identify what is that sound when you see the automobile you identify you attach
76:25 the automobile you identify you attach the sound to the car the second thing
76:28 the sound to the car the second thing that the conscious mind does is it
76:32 that the conscious mind does is it Compares that moving automobile to all
76:34 Compares that moving automobile to all other moving Automobiles of your
76:36 other moving Automobiles of your experience now if you live in a big city
76:38 experience now if you live in a big city like New York when you see a car and you
76:40 like New York when you see a car and you compare that moving automobile with
76:42 compare that moving automobile with other cars you've seen a 100 thousand
76:44 other cars you've seen a 100 thousand maybe a million Cars Moving and your
76:46 maybe a million Cars Moving and your reflexes are very very sharp if you live
76:48 reflexes are very very sharp if you live in a country that doesn't have very many
76:49 in a country that doesn't have very many automobiles chances are when you see a
76:51 automobiles chances are when you see a moving vehicle your reflexes will be
76:53 moving vehicle your reflexes will be very very slow the comparison is done by
76:56 very very slow the comparison is done by if you like making a quick inspection
76:58 if you like making a quick inspection into the subconscious and checking every
77:00 into the subconscious and checking every single previous experience that you've
77:02 single previous experience that you've had with moving cars as that is done as
77:05 had with moving cars as that is done as the comparison is done you
77:07 the comparison is done you instantaneously get a response back as a
77:09 instantaneously get a response back as a matter of fact it is said that the
77:10 matter of fact it is said that the subconscious functions at about 30,000
77:13 subconscious functions at about 30,000 times the speed of the conscious mind
77:16 times the speed of the conscious mind and that you can just have one glance
77:18 and that you can just have one glance here one noise or think one thought in
77:21 here one noise or think one thought in the conscious mind and you can instantly
77:23 the conscious mind and you can instantly trigger a reaction that might take an
77:25 trigger a reaction that might take an enormous amount hours and hours of
77:27 enormous amount hours and hours of evaluation if you were to do it
77:29 evaluation if you were to do it consciously the third thing the third
77:31 consciously the third thing the third function of the conscious mind is that
77:33 function of the conscious mind is that it analyzes once it has a response back
77:37 it analyzes once it has a response back in its comparison it analyzes the
77:39 in its comparison it analyzes the situation you're walking across the
77:41 situation you're walking across the street you hear the sound of the
77:42 street you hear the sound of the automobile engine you turn eyes right
77:44 automobile engine you turn eyes right you see the car moving down at you your
77:46 you see the car moving down at you your comparison tells you that that car is
77:48 comparison tells you that that car is moving at a speed of 50 m hour and it
77:50 moving at a speed of 50 m hour and it will be where you are in 1 second unless
77:52 will be where you are in 1 second unless you move so you now analyze and you say
77:55 you move so you now analyze and you say what do I do should I move or not and if
77:58 what do I do should I move or not and if the answer is yes what you do is you
78:00 the answer is yes what you do is you move and that takes us to the fourth
78:02 move and that takes us to the fourth function of the conscious mind which is
78:04 function of the conscious mind which is to decide the conscious mind decides
78:06 to decide the conscious mind decides what to do after the analysis it says
78:09 what to do after the analysis it says yes or no the conscious mind functions
78:12 yes or no the conscious mind functions like a binary computer it is always
78:14 like a binary computer it is always saying yes or no to incoming information
78:18 saying yes or no to incoming information and the conscious mind can only hold one
78:19 and the conscious mind can only hold one thought at a time now this is really
78:22 thought at a time now this is really amazing as you're going to see this a
78:23 amazing as you're going to see this a really a brilliant structure so you're
78:25 really a brilliant structure so you're walking across the street you hear the
78:26 walking across the street you hear the sound you look to the right you see the
78:28 sound you look to the right you see the car moving the comparison says that that
78:31 car moving the comparison says that that car is moving on you the an analysis of
78:33 car is moving on you the an analysis of the moving car says you've got to get
78:34 the moving car says you've got to get out of the way so you say do I move yes
78:36 out of the way so you say do I move yes or no answer yes do I move forward yes
78:38 or no answer yes do I move forward yes or no answer no do I move backward yes
78:40 or no answer no do I move backward yes or no and as soon as you say yes I move
78:43 or no and as soon as you say yes I move backward and you convey this word yes to
78:46 backward and you convey this word yes to the subconscious mind the subconscious
78:48 the subconscious mind the subconscious mind instantly triggers all the muscles
78:50 mind instantly triggers all the muscles all the nerves all the Senus all the
78:52 all the nerves all the Senus all the tissues to move yourself back out of the
78:54 tissues to move yourself back out of the way you don't have to sit there and
78:55 way you don't have to sit there and think well should I move my right foot
78:57 think well should I move my right foot first should I move my left foot first
78:59 first should I move my left foot first uh all you do is send a signal to the
79:01 uh all you do is send a signal to the conscious mind backed by a charge if you
79:05 conscious mind backed by a charge if you like or a detonation of emotion and the
79:07 like or a detonation of emotion and the stronger the emotion the more
79:09 stronger the emotion the more instantaneously the subconscious
79:10 instantaneously the subconscious responds to your command the
79:12 responds to your command the subconscious is activated by emotion
79:16 subconscious is activated by emotion emotion of fear emotion of Desire the
79:19 emotion of fear emotion of Desire the survival Instinct the love Instinct but
79:22 survival Instinct the love Instinct but it is always an emotion that triggers
79:24 it is always an emotion that triggers the subconscious
79:25 the subconscious okay what are some of the features of
79:27 okay what are some of the features of the subconscious mind the subconscious
79:28 the subconscious mind the subconscious mind is like a massive Data Bank as a
79:31 mind is like a massive Data Bank as a massive Data Bank the role of the
79:33 massive Data Bank the role of the subconscious is to store and retrieve
79:41 data in other words the subconscious mind is the subjective mind in that it
79:45 mind is the subjective mind in that it simply is the mind that obeys just as
79:49 simply is the mind that obeys just as the conscious mind
79:52 the conscious mind commands the subconscious mind obeys the
79:54 commands the subconscious mind obeys the sub conscious mind has no thought of its
79:56 sub conscious mind has no thought of its own by the way the conscious mind has no
79:58 own by the way the conscious mind has no memory the subconscious mind is the seat
80:00 memory the subconscious mind is the seat of all memory the conscious mind
80:01 of all memory the conscious mind remember could only hold one thought at
80:02 remember could only hold one thought at a time whereas you can remember millions
80:04 a time whereas you can remember millions of facts the relationship between the
80:07 of facts the relationship between the conscious and the subconscious is the
80:09 conscious and the subconscious is the conscious is like a
80:11 conscious is like a gardener and the subconscious is like a
80:13 gardener and the subconscious is like a garden whatever seeds you plant in your
80:16 garden whatever seeds you plant in your subconscious mind the subconscious mind
80:19 subconscious mind the subconscious mind goes to work to grow in the subconscious
80:22 goes to work to grow in the subconscious mind you have a whole series of
80:25 mind you have a whole series of different programs the self-concept
80:27 different programs the self-concept which contains all the information on
80:30 which contains all the information on all the subjects that are important to
80:31 all the subjects that are important to you and all of your previous experiences
80:34 you and all of your previous experiences and responses to those situations so
80:36 and responses to those situations so that if you have a new situation similar
80:38 that if you have a new situation similar to it one of the roles of the
80:39 to it one of the roles of the subconscious is to keep your behaviors
80:43 subconscious is to keep your behaviors consistent with your previous behaviors
80:45 consistent with your previous behaviors so that if you've always been fearful in
80:46 so that if you've always been fearful in a situation you see the situation you'll
80:48 a situation you see the situation you'll instantaneously be fearful without
80:50 instantaneously be fearful without thought if you're in a situation that
80:52 thought if you're in a situation that you don't know anything about the
80:53 you don't know anything about the natural tendency is for you to be
80:54 natural tendency is for you to be neither fearful nor unfearful because
80:57 neither fearful nor unfearful because you don't know enough until you build up
80:59 you don't know enough until you build up an experience bank now this brings us to
81:01 an experience bank now this brings us to three critical laws three of the most
81:03 three critical laws three of the most important mental laws that we talked
81:04 important mental laws that we talked about remember we talked about how your
81:06 about remember we talked about how your whole life is determined by mental laws
81:08 whole life is determined by mental laws the the first of these three mental laws
81:10 the the first of these three mental laws is the law of subconscious
81:12 is the law of subconscious activity the law of subconscious
81:15 activity the law of subconscious activity
81:17 activity says that whatever you plant into your
81:20 says that whatever you plant into your subconscious mind it immediately goes to
81:22 subconscious mind it immediately goes to work to bring into your reality and your
81:24 work to bring into your reality and your subconscious mind makes all your words
81:27 subconscious mind makes all your words and actions it makes all your words and
81:32 and actions it makes all your words and actions fit a pattern consistent with
81:35 actions fit a pattern consistent with your
81:41 self-concept in other words it keeps all your words and actions in a pattern fit
81:44 your words and actions in a pattern fit a pattern consistent with your
81:45 a pattern consistent with your self-concept or consistent with all
81:47 self-concept or consistent with all previous
81:49 previous information that you have put in also it
81:52 information that you have put in also it keeps your words and actions consistent
81:54 keeps your words and actions consistent with with your dominant
81:56 with with your dominant goals which eventually if you like
81:58 goals which eventually if you like become part of your self-concept so that
82:00 become part of your self-concept so that means that your body language your
82:02 means that your body language your attitude your level of energy your level
82:04 attitude your level of energy your level of self-confidence the way you get along
82:05 of self-confidence the way you get along with other people your social skills
82:08 with other people your social skills everything is consistent with your
82:10 everything is consistent with your self-concept the subconscious simply
82:12 self-concept the subconscious simply without you thinking about it at all
82:14 without you thinking about it at all keeps everything consistent with it so
82:16 keeps everything consistent with it so when you feel really good when your
82:17 when you feel really good when your self-concept is positive you have a
82:19 self-concept is positive you have a bounce in your step your body language
82:21 bounce in your step your body language is confidence it's courage courageous
82:23 is confidence it's courage courageous it's outgoing and so on and when you
82:25 it's outgoing and so on and when you feel negative your self-concept is
82:26 feel negative your self-concept is negative and you will act in the same
82:28 negative and you will act in the same manner which brings us to our second law
82:30 manner which brings us to our second law the second law is the law of
82:33 the second law is the law of concentration actually this is the ninth
82:35 concentration actually this is the ninth law that we've talked about since we
82:36 law that we've talked about since we began the law of concentration is very
82:40 began the law of concentration is very very very important it's it's so
82:42 very very important it's it's so important as a matter fact each of these
82:44 important as a matter fact each of these laws is so important in their place as
82:46 laws is so important in their place as to be enough in themselves to control
82:49 to be enough in themselves to control your destiny the law of concentration
82:51 your destiny the law of concentration simply says this it says that whatever
82:53 simply says this it says that whatever you dwell upon on grows whatever you
82:56 you dwell upon on grows whatever you dwell upon
82:58 dwell upon grows whatever you think about over and
83:01 grows whatever you think about over and over
83:02 over again grows in your
83:05 again grows in your reality it's very simple I used to do a
83:07 reality it's very simple I used to do a course on constru on creative thinking
83:09 course on constru on creative thinking and the way that you explain it is you
83:11 and the way that you explain it is you imagine that this is the total mental
83:14 imagine that this is the total mental capacity that you have and when you send
83:18 capacity that you have and when you send a thought into this it takes up this
83:21 a thought into this it takes up this amount of space and all the rest of the
83:22 amount of space and all the rest of the mental capacity is used to
83:25 mental capacity is used to this is your thoughts is used to think
83:27 this is your thoughts is used to think about all the other things in your mind
83:29 about all the other things in your mind but the more you think from the
83:30 but the more you think from the conscious down to the subconscious the
83:32 conscious down to the subconscious the more of your mental capacity is
83:35 more of your mental capacity is committed to thinking about this one
83:38 committed to thinking about this one idea until you reach a point where if
83:41 idea until you reach a point where if you dwell upon something consistently
83:43 you dwell upon something consistently you reach a point where you think of
83:44 you reach a point where you think of nothing else and as you think of nothing
83:46 nothing else and as you think of nothing else you begin to set up this vibratory
83:49 else you begin to set up this vibratory field the subconscious mind is the core
83:52 field the subconscious mind is the core of the Law of Attraction and the the law
83:54 of the Law of Attraction and the the law of vibration and the law of radiation
83:57 of vibration and the law of radiation you begin to set up this vibratory field
84:00 you begin to set up this vibratory field that sends out thought energy from you
84:02 that sends out thought energy from you consistent with what you are thinking
84:04 consistent with what you are thinking about and draws back into your life
84:06 about and draws back into your life people and circumstances in harmony with
84:08 people and circumstances in harmony with those thoughts so you just have to look
84:10 those thoughts so you just have to look around you and you have to say what are
84:12 around you and you have to say what are you thinking about all the time what are
84:13 you thinking about all the time what are you dwelling on all the time and the
84:16 you dwelling on all the time and the basic rule with regard to the law of
84:17 basic rule with regard to the law of concentration is to dwell upon think
84:20 concentration is to dwell upon think about what you want to happen not about
84:24 about what you want to happen not about what you fear and this brings us to the
84:26 what you fear and this brings us to the third law in this series and that is the
84:29 third law in this series and that is the law of
84:31 law of substitution now the law of substitution
84:33 substitution now the law of substitution I've had many of my graduates tell me
84:35 I've had many of my graduates tell me this has been the most important law
84:37 this has been the most important law they've ever learned it's a very simple
84:39 they've ever learned it's a very simple law and it's based on a fact that the
84:41 law and it's based on a fact that the conscious mind can only hold one thought
84:43 conscious mind can only hold one thought at a time positive or negative if you
84:47 at a time positive or negative if you want to get rid of a negative thought
84:50 want to get rid of a negative thought the mind is not like a vacuum it doesn't
84:52 the mind is not like a vacuum it doesn't stay empty if you want to get rid of a
84:54 stay empty if you want to get rid of a negative thought you have to knock it
84:56 negative thought you have to knock it out if you like with a positive thought
84:58 out if you like with a positive thought is that you can replace one thought with
85:01 is that you can replace one thought with another you can replace one thought with
85:11 another and if you do that consistently and if you replace any negative thought
85:14 and if you replace any negative thought any fear thought any anxiety thought any
85:16 any fear thought any anxiety thought any self-limiting thought any negative
85:18 self-limiting thought any negative expectations anything that's holding you
85:20 expectations anything that's holding you back any fear of failure lack poverty
85:22 back any fear of failure lack poverty rejection loss or anything else if you
85:25 rejection loss or anything else if you replace it with a desire thought and
85:26 replace it with a desire thought and this is the key fear versus desire if
85:30 this is the key fear versus desire if you keep your mind on what you want and
85:32 you keep your mind on what you want and keep it off of what you don't want as
85:34 keep it off of what you don't want as you dwell on your desire your fears
85:38 you dwell on your desire your fears diminish and get smaller as you think
85:41 diminish and get smaller as you think about what you want eventually because
85:44 about what you want eventually because of the law of substitution you have less
85:46 of the law of substitution you have less and less time less and less emotion to
85:48 and less time less and less emotion to think about what you don't want why is
85:51 think about what you don't want why is it that people are successful it's
85:53 it that people are successful it's simply this in the Bible it says from
85:56 simply this in the Bible it says from them that to them that hath shall more
85:58 them that to them that hath shall more be given and from him who hath not even
86:00 be given and from him who hath not even that which he hath shall be taken away
86:02 that which he hath shall be taken away what it means is simply this the rich
86:04 what it means is simply this the rich get richer the poor get poorer why it's
86:06 get richer the poor get poorer why it's because the rich think about wealth and
86:09 because the rich think about wealth and affluence all the time and what do the
86:12 affluence all the time and what do the poor think about the poor think about
86:13 poor think about the poor think about lack loss and limitation risk danger
86:17 lack loss and limitation risk danger fear failure all the time so if you want
86:20 fear failure all the time so if you want to unlock your potential if you want to
86:22 to unlock your potential if you want to go straight to the Stars you have to use
86:24 go straight to the Stars you have to use the law of substitution to keep your
86:26 the law of substitution to keep your mind on what you want use the law of
86:29 mind on what you want use the law of concentration to dwell continually on
86:31 concentration to dwell continually on the results you desire be solution
86:34 the results you desire be solution centered rather than problem centered be
86:36 centered rather than problem centered be goal centered rather than law centered
86:38 goal centered rather than law centered and the law of subconscious activity
86:40 and the law of subconscious activity will begin to adjust your words your
86:42 will begin to adjust your words your actions your feelings your emotions and
86:44 actions your feelings your emotions and everything to the point where you will
86:46 everything to the point where you will draw into your life the people in
86:48 draw into your life the people in circumstances that will harmonize with
86:49 circumstances that will harmonize with it now what's the most powerful thing
86:51 it now what's the most powerful thing you can do it's very simply this you is
86:54 you can do it's very simply this you is Success begins with taking purposeful
86:57 Success begins with taking purposeful systematic control of the cons content
87:01 systematic control of the cons content of your conscious mind purposeful
87:04 of your conscious mind purposeful systematic control of the content of
87:06 systematic control of the content of your conscious mind everything comes
87:08 your conscious mind everything comes back to the law of control as we talked
87:10 back to the law of control as we talked about at the very beginning purposeful
87:13 about at the very beginning purposeful systematic control is best taken by
87:15 systematic control is best taken by saying over and over again I like myself
87:18 saying over and over again I like myself I like myself I like myself I like
87:21 I like myself I like myself I like myself when you repeat I like myself or
87:23 myself when you repeat I like myself or better I love myself over and over again
87:26 better I love myself over and over again you drive this thought into the
87:28 you drive this thought into the subconscious mind more and more you
87:30 subconscious mind more and more you think of yourself in positive terms more
87:33 think of yourself in positive terms more and more you push out thoughts of
87:34 and more you push out thoughts of inferiority negativity fear failure
87:37 inferiority negativity fear failure rejection and so on more and more you
87:40 rejection and so on more and more you reprogram all previous data in your
87:42 reprogram all previous data in your subconscious computer so that it is
87:45 subconscious computer so that it is consistent with high self-esteem
87:47 consistent with high self-esteem personal Effectiveness and excellent
87:49 personal Effectiveness and excellent personal performance is that the key to
87:52 personal performance is that the key to your success in life is to use the power
87:54 your success in life is to use the power of your subconscious mind to program it
87:57 of your subconscious mind to program it with thoughts words pictures ideas and
87:59 with thoughts words pictures ideas and feelings consistent with high
88:01 feelings consistent with high performance and keep your mind on what
88:03 performance and keep your mind on what you desire and off of what you fear
88:05 you desire and off of what you fear remember the only thing in the world you
88:06 remember the only thing in the world you can control is your thinking the only
88:09 can control is your thinking the only thing in the world you can control are
88:11 thing in the world you can control are your conscious thoughts and if you will
88:12 your conscious thoughts and if you will do that everything else will become
88:14 do that everything else will become possible for you
88:38 Brian Tracy [Music]
88:54 presenta session five taking charge of your life we said in the first series of
88:57 your life we said in the first series of modules that the starting point of all
88:58 modules that the starting point of all Peak Performance is self-esteem it's how
89:01 Peak Performance is self-esteem it's how much you like yourself how much you love
89:03 much you like yourself how much you love yourself how much you accept yourself as
89:05 yourself how much you accept yourself as a valuable and worthwhile human being
89:08 a valuable and worthwhile human being the second part of Peak Performance I
89:10 the second part of Peak Performance I think the two key requirements the
89:11 think the two key requirements the second part is self responsibility
89:14 second part is self responsibility self-esteem plus self- responsibility
89:16 self-esteem plus self- responsibility each reinforcing themselves and what
89:18 each reinforcing themselves and what self- responsibility says simply is that
89:20 self- responsibility says simply is that you are the architect of your own
89:22 you are the architect of your own destiny that you are the master of your
89:24 destiny that you are the master of your own fate that you are totally
89:27 own fate that you are totally self-responsible that everything that
89:29 self-responsible that everything that you are or ever will be is up to you and
89:32 you are or ever will be is up to you and you alone now you can believe in a
89:34 you alone now you can believe in a higher power as I do and you can say
89:36 higher power as I do and you can say that the higher power is responsible but
89:39 that the higher power is responsible but God helps those who help themselves and
89:41 God helps those who help themselves and for this Earthly life you're in charge
89:43 for this Earthly life you're in charge of your life you're in charge of what
89:44 of your life you're in charge of what happens to you if you don't like the way
89:46 happens to you if you don't like the way things are going it's up to you to
89:47 things are going it's up to you to change it but there's no way that you
89:49 change it but there's no way that you can ever give away responsibility and
89:51 can ever give away responsibility and this whole subject of responsibility is
89:53 this whole subject of responsibility is one that is very controversial and as
89:55 one that is very controversial and as you see you will see as we talk in this
89:57 you see you will see as we talk in this session it's one that you have to
89:59 session it's one that you have to understand with Crystal Clarity if you
90:01 understand with Crystal Clarity if you want to achieve your full potential as a
90:02 want to achieve your full potential as a human being now we go over here one of
90:06 human being now we go over here one of the things that we know is we start off
90:08 the things that we know is we start off as infants if you like when we're born I
90:10 as infants if you like when we're born I just write I for infant we start off as
90:12 just write I for infant we start off as infants and as we grow to become adults
90:16 infants and as we grow to become adults at the age of 18
90:18 at the age of 18 years we start off with zero
90:21 years we start off with zero responsibility and as we grow toward
90:23 responsibility and as we grow toward becoming adults we gradually we gain
90:27 becoming adults we gradually we gain responsibility more and more until by
90:29 responsibility more and more until by the time we become adults at the age of
90:31 the time we become adults at the age of 18 years if our parents have brought us
90:33 18 years if our parents have brought us up properly if they have prepared us if
90:35 up properly if they have prepared us if they've encouraged us to be self-reliant
90:37 they've encouraged us to be self-reliant if they've encouraged us to make our own
90:39 if they've encouraged us to make our own decisions and think for ourselves and
90:41 decisions and think for ourselves and plan our own lives at the age of 18
90:43 plan our own lives at the age of 18 years legally speaking psychologically
90:45 years legally speaking psychologically morally mentally physically and
90:47 morally mentally physically and everything else you are ready to take
90:49 everything else you are ready to take over your own life now if your parents
90:52 over your own life now if your parents have not prepared you as an adult for
90:54 have not prepared you as an adult for total responsibility it doesn't matter
90:57 total responsibility it doesn't matter at the age of 18 and from 18 onward you
91:00 at the age of 18 and from 18 onward you are 100% responsible for the rest of
91:03 are 100% responsible for the rest of your life you can never absolve yourself
91:04 your life you can never absolve yourself of responsibility for the rest of your
91:06 of responsibility for the rest of your life everything that happens to you is
91:08 life everything that happens to you is up to you totally and without
91:10 up to you totally and without forgiveness the the slogan of the truly
91:13 forgiveness the the slogan of the truly responsible person is if it's to be if
91:16 responsible person is if it's to be if it's to be it's up to
91:19 it's to be it's up to me which means as Henry Ford
91:22 me which means as Henry Ford said never complain never explain never
91:26 said never complain never explain never complain never explain what that means
91:29 complain never explain what that means is if you don't like the way things
91:31 is if you don't like the way things are then it's up to you to change them
91:33 are then it's up to you to change them and if you're not willing to take steps
91:35 and if you're not willing to take steps to change them then don't complain about
91:37 to change them then don't complain about them just simply accept them men who are
91:39 them just simply accept them men who are men and women who are women don't
91:41 men and women who are women don't complain about the difficulties of Life
91:43 complain about the difficulties of Life they just accept them as the
91:44 they just accept them as the difficulties of life and they either do
91:46 difficulties of life and they either do something about them or they don't say
91:48 something about them or they don't say anything so if it's to be it's up to me
91:50 anything so if it's to be it's up to me if it's to be it's up to you this is one
91:52 if it's to be it's up to you this is one of the hardest things to understand
91:54 of the hardest things to understand because when we're child children at
91:55 because when we're child children at this stage we're totally
91:57 this stage we're totally dependent and being totally dependent we
92:01 dependent and being totally dependent we develop if you like a habit pattern or a
92:03 develop if you like a habit pattern or a conditioned response and we look for the
92:05 conditioned response and we look for the reason that things happen outside of
92:07 reason that things happen outside of ourselves as we become adults if we're
92:10 ourselves as we become adults if we're not careful we will still retain this
92:13 not careful we will still retain this dependency and we will long for the what
92:15 dependency and we will long for the what is called the pseudo security of
92:17 is called the pseudo security of childhood that time in childhood when
92:20 childhood that time in childhood when someone took care of us that time in
92:22 someone took care of us that time in childhood when we were fed and clothed
92:24 childhood when we were fed and clothed and our our our home was taken care of
92:26 and our our our home was taken care of and our school and everything we didn't
92:28 and our school and everything we didn't have to worry about a thing because they
92:30 have to worry about a thing because they took care of it as we grow up we go out
92:32 took care of it as we grow up we go out to school and the people at school they
92:35 to school and the people at school they take care of things and if we're not
92:36 take care of things and if we're not careful we get into the work world and
92:37 careful we get into the work world and then again it's they it's always someone
92:40 then again it's they it's always someone else outside of oursel who is ultimately
92:43 else outside of oursel who is ultimately responsible for ourselves one of the
92:44 responsible for ourselves one of the things which I'll talk about later is
92:46 things which I'll talk about later is the whole idea of self-development most
92:48 the whole idea of self-development most people because they've been taking all
92:49 people because they've been taking all their education in the public school
92:51 their education in the public school system think that it's up to them when
92:54 system think that it's up to them when they're adults to continue their
92:55 they're adults to continue their education if nobody comes along to
92:57 education if nobody comes along to continue it they just simply don't do it
92:59 continue it they just simply don't do it now there's another point and that's the
93:01 now there's another point and that's the difference between maturity and
93:03 difference between maturity and immaturity and here's a very simple
93:05 immaturity and here's a very simple example imagine that this is the course
93:07 example imagine that this is the course of Life Again from infancy to adulthood
93:10 of Life Again from infancy to adulthood and everybody reaches the stage sooner
93:12 and everybody reaches the stage sooner or later where they come to this great
93:14 or later where they come to this great cliff and this great canyon and this is
93:17 cliff and this great canyon and this is the side of immaturity this is the site
93:19 the side of immaturity this is the site of childhood this is the side where we
93:21 of childhood this is the side where we are dependent upon others and where we
93:23 are dependent upon others and where we look to others for our answers and our
93:24 look to others for our answers and our Solutions we look outside of ourselves
93:27 Solutions we look outside of ourselves at this point we come to the edge of
93:28 at this point we come to the edge of this Canyon at the edge of this Canyon
93:31 this Canyon at the edge of this Canyon we look across into the land of maturity
93:33 we look across into the land of maturity the land of adulthood and each one of us
93:36 the land of adulthood and each one of us has to make a decision to
93:38 has to make a decision to jump in one great leap from being a
93:41 jump in one great leap from being a child to being an adult now sometimes
93:43 child to being an adult now sometimes this is forced on us sometimes it
93:45 this is forced on us sometimes it happens in an evolutionary way but
93:47 happens in an evolutionary way but sooner or later we have to make the
93:48 sooner or later we have to make the decision to accept the fact that we're
93:51 decision to accept the fact that we're in charge of our own lives we The
93:52 in charge of our own lives we The Architects of our own destinies
93:54 Architects of our own destinies and then get on with it what do most
93:57 and then get on with it what do most people do unfortunately what most people
93:59 people do unfortunately what most people do is they turn back at this point they
94:02 do is they turn back at this point they slip into marriages where somebody will
94:04 slip into marriages where somebody will take care of them they take jobs where
94:06 take care of them they take jobs where they expect their bosses to take care of
94:07 they expect their bosses to take care of them and so on or they just simply avoid
94:10 them and so on or they just simply avoid responsibility by looking for the cause
94:12 responsibility by looking for the cause of everything that happens to them in
94:13 of everything that happens to them in other people and other circumstances
94:15 other people and other circumstances it's their bills it's their health it's
94:17 it's their bills it's their health it's the way their parents treated them and
94:18 the way their parents treated them and so on they're not really
94:20 so on they're not really responsible on the other hand sometimes
94:22 responsible on the other hand sometimes they decide to take a little
94:23 they decide to take a little responsibility but not too much which is
94:24 responsibility but not too much which is the equivalent of trying to leap over a
94:26 the equivalent of trying to leap over a canyon in two
94:28 canyon in two jumps and where the great vast majority
94:30 jumps and where the great vast majority of people end up unfortunately is in the
94:32 of people end up unfortunately is in the valley and this is the valley of excuses
94:36 valley and this is the valley of excuses the great majority of people spend their
94:37 the great majority of people spend their whole life life in the valley of excuses
94:40 whole life life in the valley of excuses making excuses rather than making
94:43 making excuses rather than making progress there's an old saying that says
94:45 progress there's an old saying that says the disease of
94:47 the disease of excusitis which is the habit of making
94:49 excusitis which is the habit of making excuses to to excuse away our failures
94:52 excuses to to excuse away our failures and our inadequacy is fatal to success
94:55 and our inadequacy is fatal to success the habit of making excuses is fatal to
94:58 the habit of making excuses is fatal to your success so the question you have to
95:00 your success so the question you have to ask yourself when we talk about
95:01 ask yourself when we talk about responsibility is what excuses do you
95:04 responsibility is what excuses do you use not to move ahead there was an a
95:07 use not to move ahead there was an a very famous Story by Tolstoy where tolto
95:10 very famous Story by Tolstoy where tolto and his brothers would play and they had
95:11 and his brothers would play and they had a game and the game was that out in the
95:14 a game and the game was that out in the garden there would be a box and in the
95:17 garden there would be a box and in the Box was the answer to all the riddles of
95:19 Box was the answer to all the riddles of life and you could find the box under a
95:21 life and you could find the box under a certain Bush as long as you didn't think
95:23 certain Bush as long as you didn't think about a big white rabbit as long as you
95:26 about a big white rabbit as long as you kept your mind clear of that big white
95:28 kept your mind clear of that big white rabbit and you didn't think about the
95:29 rabbit and you didn't think about the rabbit you could find the answer to all
95:31 rabbit you could find the answer to all the mysteries of life well of course
95:33 the mysteries of life well of course nobody ever found the box or nobody ever
95:35 nobody ever found the box or nobody ever found the answer to the mysteries of
95:37 found the answer to the mysteries of life because they couldn't stop thinking
95:39 life because they couldn't stop thinking of the Big White Rabbit the question you
95:41 of the Big White Rabbit the question you have to ask yourself is what is your big
95:43 have to ask yourself is what is your big white rabbit is what is it that you
95:45 white rabbit is what is it that you think of what is the excuse that looms
95:46 think of what is the excuse that looms into your mind whenever you think of
95:49 into your mind whenever you think of something that you could do or have or
95:50 something that you could do or have or be a new job a new challenge an
95:52 be a new job a new challenge an opportunity changing something in your
95:53 opportunity changing something in your life that you're not happy with what is
95:55 life that you're not happy with what is the White Rabbit what is the excuse that
95:57 the White Rabbit what is the excuse that pops into your mind you say well I could
95:59 pops into your mind you say well I could I can't do that because or another thing
96:01 I can't do that because or another thing is yes but I'd like to but there's
96:04 is yes but I'd like to but there's always a reason I'm too young I'm too
96:06 always a reason I'm too young I'm too old I'm Too Tall I'm too short I don't
96:08 old I'm Too Tall I'm too short I don't have enough education I've got too much
96:10 have enough education I've got too much education it's the wrong time it's the
96:13 education it's the wrong time it's the wrong place and so on what is your White
96:15 wrong place and so on what is your White Rabbit what is it that sticks in the
96:17 Rabbit what is it that sticks in the back of your mind that causes you to
96:19 back of your mind that causes you to make excuses that causes you to hang
96:22 make excuses that causes you to hang back from taking respons ibility that
96:24 back from taking respons ibility that keeps you in the land of childhood
96:26 keeps you in the land of childhood immaturity and irresponsibility very
96:29 immaturity and irresponsibility very very important question to ask now when
96:31 very important question to ask now when we talk about responsibility we talk
96:33 we talk about responsibility we talk about something else it's simply this is
96:36 about something else it's simply this is that the acceptance of responsibility is
96:38 that the acceptance of responsibility is not optional many of us like to think
96:40 not optional many of us like to think that well you know I'll take a little
96:41 that well you know I'll take a little responsibility here I'll take a little
96:43 responsibility here I'll take a little responsibility there no the acceptance
96:45 responsibility there no the acceptance of responsibility is not optional from
96:47 of responsibility is not optional from the time you become 18 years
96:50 the time you become 18 years old you are 100% responsible you have no
96:54 old you are 100% responsible you have no choice in the matter as a matter of fact
96:55 choice in the matter as a matter of fact there are very few things in life over
96:57 there are very few things in life over which you have no choice but you have no
96:58 which you have no choice but you have no choice in this it is
97:01 choice in this it is mandatory it is mandatory if you wish to
97:04 mandatory it is mandatory if you wish to fulfill your potential if you wish to
97:06 fulfill your potential if you wish to become everything you're capable of
97:07 become everything you're capable of becoming you must take full
97:09 becoming you must take full responsibility for bringing about the
97:12 responsibility for bringing about the circumstances for making the changes for
97:14 circumstances for making the changes for making the hard decisions necessary if
97:16 making the hard decisions necessary if you take the word responsibility you
97:18 you take the word responsibility you know you can break it into two words
97:21 know you can break it into two words response and ability
97:24 response and ability and one of the things which I've learned
97:25 and one of the things which I've learned as I've studied history is that all of
97:28 as I've studied history is that all of life is a series of challenges
97:30 life is a series of challenges difficulties problems setbacks obstacles
97:33 difficulties problems setbacks obstacles to face and the difference between the
97:35 to face and the difference between the winners and losers in life is not the
97:38 winners and losers in life is not the difference in problems because everybody
97:39 difference in problems because everybody has problems and most people and many
97:42 has problems and most people and many people have more and bigger problems
97:44 people have more and bigger problems that you and I could ever dream of the
97:46 that you and I could ever dream of the difference in life the difference
97:47 difference in life the difference between winners and losers is the
97:49 between winners and losers is the responses to the
97:51 responses to the problems many years ago a man named
97:53 problems many years ago a man named oswal Spangler wrote a book in which he
97:55 oswal Spangler wrote a book in which he talked about what he called The
97:56 talked about what he called The Challenge response Theory the challenge
97:59 Challenge response Theory the challenge response Theory simply said that
98:01 response Theory simply said that civilizations grow and decline to the
98:03 civilizations grow and decline to the degree to which they meet challenges
98:06 degree to which they meet challenges effectively and respond effectively a
98:08 effectively and respond effectively a small Society starts out small and
98:11 small Society starts out small and almost invariably it will be challenged
98:13 almost invariably it will be challenged by either an external enemy or nature or
98:15 by either an external enemy or nature or weather or something else if the society
98:18 weather or something else if the society responds in a positive and constructive
98:20 responds in a positive and constructive way to the challenge the society grows
98:23 way to the challenge the society grows as it grows it triggers additional
98:25 as it grows it triggers additional challenges difficulties if it responds
98:28 challenges difficulties if it responds to them effectively it grows some more
98:30 to them effectively it grows some more Oswald Spangler studied the 21 great
98:32 Oswald Spangler studied the 21 great empires of human civilization and found
98:34 empires of human civilization and found that every single one followed this
98:35 that every single one followed this cycle as long as the civilization
98:38 cycle as long as the civilization continued to rise to the challenge it
98:41 continued to rise to the challenge it continued to grow stronger and stronger
98:43 continued to grow stronger and stronger the reason why this analogy is so
98:44 the reason why this analogy is so important is that we as human beings are
98:47 important is that we as human beings are exactly the same we grow to the degree
98:50 exactly the same we grow to the degree to which we respond effectively to the
98:53 to which we respond effectively to the degree to which we rise to the
98:54 degree to which we rise to the challenges without making excuses that
98:57 challenges without making excuses that life throws at us and when we look at
98:59 life throws at us and when we look at the great men and women of History
99:00 the great men and women of History whether it's Albert schwier or Winston
99:02 whether it's Albert schwier or Winston Churchill or George Washington or
99:04 Churchill or George Washington or Abraham Lincoln or Franklin Del
99:06 Abraham Lincoln or Franklin Del Roosevelt we look at those great people
99:08 Roosevelt we look at those great people we find that they were always people
99:09 we find that they were always people that Rose to the challenges of the
99:11 that Rose to the challenges of the time if ever you wish to be capable of
99:15 time if ever you wish to be capable of rising to Great challenges what you have
99:17 rising to Great challenges what you have to do is you have to start off on a
99:19 to do is you have to start off on a daily basis rising to small challenges
99:22 daily basis rising to small challenges which means no matter what happens
99:23 which means no matter what happens you accept the challenge you accept the
99:25 you accept the challenge you accept the responsibility you refuse to make
99:27 responsibility you refuse to make excuses and you go forward now there's
99:30 excuses and you go forward now there's three areas in life in our Modern Life
99:33 three areas in life in our Modern Life which you must be very very aware of the
99:35 which you must be very very aware of the first area is the political area if you
99:38 first area is the political area if you look around you you will find that there
99:39 look around you you will find that there is a great drive toward the government
99:42 is a great drive toward the government doing it the government being
99:43 doing it the government being responsible make the government
99:45 responsible make the government responsible what people are doing is
99:47 responsible what people are doing is they want the government to be their
99:49 they want the government to be their parent they want the government to
99:51 parent they want the government to protect them and take care of them but
99:53 protect them and take care of them but is the more you vote for politicians to
99:55 is the more you vote for politicians to do things for you the more you give
99:58 do things for you the more you give politicians control you see you can
100:01 politicians control you see you can never give away responsibility you can
100:02 never give away responsibility you can only give away control how do you give
100:04 only give away control how do you give away control you give away control in
100:06 away control you give away control in terms of voting for them to spend more
100:08 terms of voting for them to spend more of your money regulate more of your
100:10 of your money regulate more of your businesses tax away more of your income
100:12 businesses tax away more of your income and so on the second area so let me just
100:15 and so on the second area so let me just finish this the merge towards statism
100:17 finish this the merge towards statism collectivism socialism large government
100:19 collectivism socialism large government and so on is all aimed at somehow making
100:22 and so on is all aimed at somehow making the government that faceless bunch of
100:24 the government that faceless bunch of bureaucrats responsible for the
100:26 bureaucrats responsible for the challenges of our own lives now the
100:28 challenges of our own lives now the second area where this is prevalent is
100:30 second area where this is prevalent is in the criminal justice
100:37 system in the criminal justice system you will find that the one
100:38 you will find that the one characteristic of all criminals is that
100:41 characteristic of all criminals is that they refused to accept responsibility
100:42 they refused to accept responsibility for their crime it was always someone
100:44 for their crime it was always someone else or something else it was always
100:46 else or something else it was always their childhood or the background or the
100:48 their childhood or the background or the other guys that the way that people get
100:50 other guys that the way that people get out of the criminal justice system is
100:51 out of the criminal justice system is they accept responsibility for the
100:53 they accept responsibility for the crimes they've committed and they say I
100:55 crimes they've committed and they say I did this nobody made me do it I am
100:58 did this nobody made me do it I am responsible and they stop going back to
101:01 responsible and they stop going back to jail the third area is in medicine today
101:04 jail the third area is in medicine today we know that almost all of our problems
101:07 we know that almost all of our problems in medicine are psychological in origin
101:10 in medicine are psychological in origin or we inflict things on ourselves the
101:12 or we inflict things on ourselves the average American or Canadian is about 10
101:14 average American or Canadian is about 10 to 20 pounds overweight in medicine we
101:17 to 20 pounds overweight in medicine we expect the doctor to be responsible just
101:20 expect the doctor to be responsible just imagine how we would take what kind of
101:21 imagine how we would take what kind of care you would take of yourself if you
101:23 care you would take of yourself if you run a desert island for life with no
101:25 run a desert island for life with no doctors no nurses no hospitals no
101:26 doctors no nurses no hospitals no medicine no nothing where you had
101:28 medicine no nothing where you had nothing to fall back on very very
101:30 nothing to fall back on very very important point so all around you in
101:31 important point so all around you in society you're going to notice this
101:34 society you're going to notice this clamor this demand I am not responsible
101:37 clamor this demand I am not responsible make somebody else
101:39 make somebody else responsible but this is the key remember
101:41 responsible but this is the key remember you are always free to
101:43 you are always free to choose you are free to
101:46 choose you are free to choose your responses you are free to
101:49 choose your responses you are free to choose a quality of your emotional life
101:52 choose a quality of your emotional life you know that
101:54 you know that you decide how you're going to feel by
101:56 you decide how you're going to feel by how you are going to respond you decide
101:58 how you are going to respond you decide when to get angry when to be happy when
102:00 when to get angry when to be happy when to be unhappy you decide what your
102:02 to be unhappy you decide what your attitude is going to be when you get up
102:03 attitude is going to be when you get up in the morning you decide the qu the
102:05 in the morning you decide the qu the quality of your physical life you're the
102:07 quality of your physical life you're the one who decides what you eat what you
102:09 one who decides what you eat what you drink what you don't eat and drink you
102:11 drink what you don't eat and drink you deser determine the quality of your
102:13 deser determine the quality of your financial life you're the one who
102:14 financial life you're the one who determines the quality and quantity of
102:16 determines the quality and quantity of the work that you contribute in every
102:18 the work that you contribute in every case you're free to choose what you want
102:21 case you're free to choose what you want if you want things to be different the
102:22 if you want things to be different the start point is to accept full
102:25 start point is to accept full unqualified responsibility for your life
102:28 unqualified responsibility for your life I first discovered this whole concept of
102:30 I first discovered this whole concept of responsibility when I was 21 years old I
102:33 responsibility when I was 21 years old I was living in a little apartment I was
102:34 was living in a little apartment I was working on a construction job it was 35
102:37 working on a construction job it was 35 de below zero outside I didn't have a
102:39 de below zero outside I didn't have a car I didn't have any money in the bank
102:41 car I didn't have any money in the bank my clothes were old I had failed out of
102:44 my clothes were old I had failed out of high school and I looked around me in
102:47 high school and I looked around me in that cold winter in that little
102:48 that cold winter in that little apartment with no future and not much of
102:50 apartment with no future and not much of a past and I said to myself If Ever I
102:52 a past and I said to myself If Ever I want anything to change it's up to me
102:55 want anything to change it's up to me that's the time where I really got
102:57 that's the time where I really got scared it suddenly hit me right between
102:59 scared it suddenly hit me right between the eyes that if I wanted my life to be
103:01 the eyes that if I wanted my life to be different it was up to me to make my
103:03 different it was up to me to make my life different and if I can get only one
103:05 life different and if I can get only one point across to you in this simple
103:07 point across to you in this simple segment this little segment is this is
103:10 segment this little segment is this is that the starting point of flying to the
103:12 that the starting point of flying to the Stars the starting point of taking
103:14 Stars the starting point of taking complete charge of your life the
103:16 complete charge of your life the starting point of great success and
103:17 starting point of great success and great achievement is to accept complete
103:20 great achievement is to accept complete unconditional responsibility if it's to
103:22 unconditional responsibility if it's to be it's up to me if it's to be it's up
103:25 be it's up to me if it's to be it's up to
103:38 you session six eliminating negative emotions continuing on the subject of
103:40 emotions continuing on the subject of responsibility versus irresponsibility
103:43 responsibility versus irresponsibility many years ago back in 1972 I began a
103:46 many years ago back in 1972 I began a study in an area of metaphysics that
103:48 study in an area of metaphysics that dealt with the psychology of the
103:50 dealt with the psychology of the evolution of human potential and one of
103:53 evolution of human potential and one of the things that leaped out of those
103:55 the things that leaped out of those pages at me and I I've never really have
103:56 pages at me and I I've never really have recovered from it was the discussion of
103:59 recovered from it was the discussion of the connecting link between
104:02 the connecting link between irresponsibility and negative emotions
104:05 irresponsibility and negative emotions and the fact that negative emotions are
104:07 and the fact that negative emotions are the great blocking emotions are
104:09 the great blocking emotions are crippling emotions of your life and my
104:11 crippling emotions of your life and my life if the whole purpose of life if you
104:14 life if the whole purpose of life if you like is to achieve higher levels of
104:15 like is to achieve higher levels of Peace of Mind happiness contentment
104:17 Peace of Mind happiness contentment satisfaction and so on we have to sit
104:19 satisfaction and so on we have to sit down we have to look and say what stops
104:21 down we have to look and say what stops us or what is blocking us or what gets
104:23 us or what is blocking us or what gets in the way of us really enjoying our
104:25 in the way of us really enjoying our lives and you find invariably its
104:27 lives and you find invariably its negative emotions of some kind now I'm
104:30 negative emotions of some kind now I'm not talking about the negative emotions
104:31 not talking about the negative emotions that are associated with someone dying
104:33 that are associated with someone dying or with a great loss I'm talking about
104:35 or with a great loss I'm talking about the negative emotions that we experience
104:37 the negative emotions that we experience on a day-to-day basis that Rob us of
104:39 on a day-to-day basis that Rob us of Peace of Mind Rob us of health and
104:40 Peace of Mind Rob us of health and energy affect our loving relationships
104:43 energy affect our loving relationships get in the way of our financial
104:44 get in the way of our financial Independence Rob us of a feeling of
104:46 Independence Rob us of a feeling of fulfillment and so on so we're going to
104:48 fulfillment and so on so we're going to talk in this session about eliminating
104:50 talk in this session about eliminating negative emotions and I want to bring us
104:52 negative emotions and I want to bring us back to this whole discussion of
104:54 back to this whole discussion of responsibility this is one of the most
104:56 responsibility this is one of the most important things that I've ever found in
104:58 important things that I've ever found in my life it's simply
105:00 my life it's simply this is that if we take a graph or chart
105:04 this is that if we take a graph or chart and come with me for a second and let's
105:05 and come with me for a second and let's chart
105:06 chart this and we take from highest to the
105:09 this and we take from highest to the lowest and up here we have a totally
105:11 lowest and up here we have a totally responsible person this is a person who
105:13 responsible person this is a person who is completely self assured completely
105:16 is completely self assured completely self-responsible makes no excuses at all
105:18 self-responsible makes no excuses at all and down here at the other end we have
105:19 and down here at the other end we have an irresponsible person a person who
105:21 an irresponsible person a person who makes excuses for everything now this is
105:24 makes excuses for everything now this is the positive end of the scale this is
105:26 the positive end of the scale this is the negative end of the scale every one
105:29 the negative end of the scale every one of us you and I are somewhere on this
105:31 of us you and I are somewhere on this scale moving up or down with every
105:34 scale moving up or down with every decision that we take now we found and
105:37 decision that we take now we found and this is what got to me and I said a
105:38 this is what got to me and I said a little bit earlier that there's a one
105:40 little bit earlier that there's a one toone relationship between how much you
105:41 toone relationship between how much you feel you are in control of your own life
105:44 feel you are in control of your own life and how positive or how happy you are
105:46 and how positive or how happy you are well there's a one toone relationship
105:48 well there's a one toone relationship between the amount of responsibility you
105:50 between the amount of responsibility you accept and the amount of control you
105:52 accept and the amount of control you experience in your life and there's a on
105:54 experience in your life and there's a on toone relationship between the amount of
105:57 toone relationship between the amount of responsibility and control you accept
105:59 responsibility and control you accept and the amount of Freedom that you feel
106:01 and the amount of Freedom that you feel that you have freedom is the
106:04 that you have freedom is the indispensable requirement for happiness
106:06 indispensable requirement for happiness that true success true happiness in life
106:09 that true success true happiness in life means being free to live your life your
106:11 means being free to live your life your own way as you decide without anybody
106:14 own way as you decide without anybody else telling you what to do living your
106:16 else telling you what to do living your life as a bird free as a bird to do
106:18 life as a bird free as a bird to do whatever you want well there's a direct
106:20 whatever you want well there's a direct relationship between responsibility
106:21 relationship between responsibility control and freedom and there's a direct
106:23 control and freedom and there's a direct relationship between these three and
106:26 relationship between these three and positive
106:31 emotions now positive emotions are the great emotions positive emotions are
106:32 great emotions positive emotions are those of happiness and love and joy and
106:35 those of happiness and love and joy and vitality and energy and exuberance and
106:37 vitality and energy and exuberance and enthusiasm and excitement and so on now
106:39 enthusiasm and excitement and so on now down at the other end however we have an
106:41 down at the other end however we have an attitude of irresponsibility and what
106:43 attitude of irresponsibility and what does that lead to this is what shocked
106:46 does that lead to this is what shocked me so much when I first learned it it
106:47 me so much when I first learned it it leads to a lack of control is that to
106:51 leads to a lack of control is that to the degree to which
106:53 the degree to which we are irresponsible we lose control our
106:57 we are irresponsible we lose control our inner selves disintegrate and fragment
107:00 inner selves disintegrate and fragment it also leads to a lack of freedom
107:02 it also leads to a lack of freedom because we no longer see ourselves as
107:05 because we no longer see ourselves as free agents choosing the direction of
107:07 free agents choosing the direction of our own lives we see ourselves as pawns
107:10 our own lives we see ourselves as pawns as victims if you like of external
107:12 as victims if you like of external forces and a lack of control and freedom
107:14 forces and a lack of control and freedom leads to negative
107:17 leads to negative emotions when I
107:19 emotions when I first began to understand this I thought
107:23 first began to understand this I thought well yeah but what about uh my parents
107:25 well yeah but what about uh my parents and what about my childhood and what
107:26 and what about my childhood and what about my condition I didn't have a very
107:28 about my condition I didn't have a very good job and what about my friends I had
107:30 good job and what about my friends I had crummy friends and what about my health
107:31 crummy friends and what about my health and what about uh the weather and what
107:33 and what about uh the weather and what about the economy when I began to
107:35 about the economy when I began to realize this I began to realize that you
107:37 realize this I began to realize that you put all that aside if your highest aim
107:39 put all that aside if your highest aim your highest goal is positive emotions
107:42 your highest goal is positive emotions of happiness joy Freedom enthusiasm and
107:45 of happiness joy Freedom enthusiasm and so on then you have to stop making
107:48 so on then you have to stop making excuses now Carl menager the Great
107:51 excuses now Carl menager the Great psychoanalyst said a very interesting
107:53 psychoanalyst said a very interesting thing some years ago he said that
107:55 thing some years ago he said that physical ailments are all different
107:57 physical ailments are all different caused by different bacteria different
107:59 caused by different bacteria different viruses and so on he said but mental
108:01 viruses and so on he said but mental illness is the same illness simply
108:04 illness is the same illness simply spread along a spectrum from the least
108:07 spread along a spectrum from the least to the worst and Thomas sass the
108:09 to the worst and Thomas sass the psychiatrist said in his book The Myth
108:11 psychiatrist said in his book The Myth of mental illness that there is no such
108:13 of mental illness that there is no such thing as mental illness there are merely
108:16 thing as mental illness there are merely varying degrees of
108:18 varying degrees of irresponsibility so when we say that an
108:21 irresponsibility so when we say that an irresponsible person is not only
108:22 irresponsible person is not only negative we say an irresponsible person
108:24 negative we say an irresponsible person is also mentally ill a totally
108:27 is also mentally ill a totally responsible person is mentally healthy
108:29 responsible person is mentally healthy how does this affect you well I know you
108:31 how does this affect you well I know you want to advance as much as you can in
108:33 want to advance as much as you can in Life or you wouldn't be going through
108:34 Life or you wouldn't be going through the efforts of taking a program like
108:35 the efforts of taking a program like this there is a direct relationship
108:38 this there is a direct relationship between the amount of responsibility you
108:40 between the amount of responsibility you accept for the results of your
108:43 accept for the results of your organization and the amount of power
108:45 organization and the amount of power influence position Prestige and status
108:48 influence position Prestige and status you will have in your work now and in
108:51 you will have in your work now and in the future at the top of the graph of
108:53 the future at the top of the graph of responsibility we have people who accept
108:56 responsibility we have people who accept total responsibility and power and
108:58 total responsibility and power and opportunity gravitates toward them down
109:01 opportunity gravitates toward them down at the other end we have no power or
109:04 at the other end we have no power or powerlessness until you reach the
109:06 powerlessness until you reach the extreme example of a person who's
109:08 extreme example of a person who's totally irresponsible completely out of
109:10 totally irresponsible completely out of control who has to be constrained in a
109:12 control who has to be constrained in a straight jacket and locked up in a
109:13 straight jacket and locked up in a padded room for their own safety and for
109:16 padded room for their own safety and for the safety of others completely
109:17 the safety of others completely powerless completely without control or
109:19 powerless completely without control or Freedom now every time we make a
109:21 Freedom now every time we make a decision to be self responsible we move
109:24 decision to be self responsible we move up on this graph every time we make a
109:26 up on this graph every time we make a decision to make excuses we move down in
109:29 decision to make excuses we move down in this graph so let's take it a little bit
109:30 this graph so let's take it a little bit further and let's talk about the
109:33 further and let's talk about the relationship between negative emotions
109:35 relationship between negative emotions and irresponsibility so that you
109:37 and irresponsibility so that you understand it perfectly clearly and a
109:38 understand it perfectly clearly and a perfect example is this imagine here is
109:41 perfect example is this imagine here is a tree all right here's a tree and here
109:45 a tree all right here's a tree and here is the bushes this is what is called the
109:47 is the bushes this is what is called the negative emotion tree in the negative
109:50 negative emotion tree in the negative emotion tree grows the predominant
109:53 emotion tree grows the predominant negative emotions
109:54 negative emotions fear doubt it's many people have
109:57 fear doubt it's many people have considered that self-doubt is the most
109:59 considered that self-doubt is the most destructive of all negative emotion
110:01 destructive of all negative emotion holds you back more than you can imagine
110:03 holds you back more than you can imagine also hate is a negative emotion then
110:07 also hate is a negative emotion then there's
110:08 there's Envy there's
110:10 Envy there's resentment and then of course there's
110:12 resentment and then of course there's resentment sister
110:15 resentment sister guilt these are all the big negative
110:17 guilt these are all the big negative emotions these are the ones that have
110:18 emotions these are the ones that have led to hit parade for years there's
110:19 led to hit parade for years there's about 54 different negative emotions but
110:21 about 54 different negative emotions but these are the top and if you take these
110:23 these are the top and if you take these negative emotions and you boil them all
110:25 negative emotions and you boil them all down and you can put in your own
110:26 down and you can put in your own favorite by the way everybody has their
110:28 favorite by the way everybody has their own favorite negative emotion jealousy
110:30 own favorite negative emotion jealousy could be yours um self-pity is a good
110:33 could be yours um self-pity is a good strong one it's doing well but if you
110:35 strong one it's doing well but if you boil it down you find that all negative
110:37 boil it down you find that all negative emotions eventually boil down to anger
110:39 emotions eventually boil down to anger either inwardly expressed that is where
110:41 either inwardly expressed that is where you make yourself sick or outwardly
110:43 you make yourself sick or outwardly expressed that is where you make other
110:45 expressed that is where you make other people sick uh and this negative emotion
110:48 people sick uh and this negative emotion tree if we just take a look at its
110:50 tree if we just take a look at its structure we find the negative emotion
110:51 structure we find the negative emotion tree has a root system Sy now the root
110:54 tree has a root system Sy now the root system is where the nutrients come from
110:56 system is where the nutrients come from that keep the negative
110:57 that keep the negative emotion growing and keep the fruit of
110:59 emotion growing and keep the fruit of the negative emotion growing and
111:02 the negative emotion growing and blossoming we look at the root system we
111:04 blossoming we look at the root system we say what are the nutrients what keeps
111:06 say what are the nutrients what keeps negative emotions going what are the
111:07 negative emotions going what are the fertilizer what is it that you Heap on
111:09 fertilizer what is it that you Heap on the fire if you like or put into the
111:11 the fire if you like or put into the ground we find that there's two things
111:12 ground we find that there's two things essential to keep negative emotions
111:14 essential to keep negative emotions alive the first is
111:17 alive the first is justification
111:19 justification justification that's simp that's that's
111:21 justification that's simp that's that's merely telling your yourself and anybody
111:23 merely telling your yourself and anybody else who will listen why you are
111:25 else who will listen why you are justified in having this emotion and the
111:27 justified in having this emotion and the other is what we call
111:30 other is what we call identification identification means
111:32 identification identification means taking things
111:34 taking things personally that's why of course they
111:36 personally that's why of course they suggest that a person who acts as their
111:38 suggest that a person who acts as their own lawyer has a fool for a client
111:40 own lawyer has a fool for a client probably a person who acts as their own
111:42 probably a person who acts as their own doctor has a fool for a patient too
111:44 doctor has a fool for a patient too because we become so personally
111:45 because we become so personally identified with our own situation and so
111:47 identified with our own situation and so do you we take it so personally that we
111:50 do you we take it so personally that we get all emotionally involved and wrapped
111:52 get all emotionally involved and wrapped up in it so we find that it's not
111:54 up in it so we find that it's not possible for you to be negative about
111:56 possible for you to be negative about anything for very long unless you can
111:59 anything for very long unless you can justify or have a reason for it and
112:01 justify or have a reason for it and explain it to other people or unless you
112:04 explain it to other people or unless you can identify and take it personally for
112:07 can identify and take it personally for instance if somebody comes in from the
112:08 instance if somebody comes in from the parking lot and says they just ran into
112:10 parking lot and says they just ran into a car in the parking lot doesn't bother
112:12 a car in the parking lot doesn't bother you at all because you don't identify
112:15 you at all because you don't identify with it now if they said they just ran
112:16 with it now if they said they just ran into a car in the parking lot and it's
112:18 into a car in the parking lot and it's your car in the parking lot and the
112:19 your car in the parking lot and the person's gone now you can become
112:21 person's gone now you can become extremely upset
112:23 extremely upset remember this however that we always
112:25 remember this however that we always choose these responses I'll come back to
112:27 choose these responses I'll come back to this in a second so how do we get rid of
112:29 this in a second so how do we get rid of justification how do we starve the root
112:31 justification how do we starve the root system of the negative emotion tree the
112:34 system of the negative emotion tree the way that we get rid of justification is
112:36 way that we get rid of justification is by becoming
112:38 by becoming non-judgmental in the Bible it says
112:40 non-judgmental in the Bible it says judge not that she be not judged and
112:43 judge not that she be not judged and since the Bible is amongst many other
112:45 since the Bible is amongst many other things a book of philosophy and
112:47 things a book of philosophy and metaphysics and how to live being
112:49 metaphysics and how to live being non-judgmental means that you just
112:51 non-judgmental means that you just refrain from judging hold back from
112:52 refrain from judging hold back from judging instead of casting a judgment
112:55 judging instead of casting a judgment that somebody is guilty of something
112:57 that somebody is guilty of something somebody has done something just remain
112:59 somebody has done something just remain open and neutral just remaining neutral
113:02 open and neutral just remaining neutral and that's the key stops the negative
113:05 and that's the key stops the negative emotion from getting going one of the
113:07 emotion from getting going one of the things that we know about negative
113:08 things that we know about negative emotions and I've studied them for years
113:10 emotions and I've studied them for years is that negative emotions start off like
113:11 is that negative emotions start off like a spark and as they are fed as we dwell
113:14 a spark and as they are fed as we dwell upon them as we justify them as we
113:16 upon them as we justify them as we become judgmental about the situation
113:18 become judgmental about the situation they start to grow and grow and grow
113:20 they start to grow and grow and grow until they absolutely consume our mind
113:22 until they absolutely consume our mind now with regard to identification which
113:24 now with regard to identification which is taking things personally what we do
113:26 is taking things personally what we do is what is called we
113:34 disidentify we objectify or we again remain neutral we try to keep it at arms
113:36 remain neutral we try to keep it at arms length we say there is a problem but I
113:38 length we say there is a problem but I am not the problem there is a difficulty
113:40 am not the problem there is a difficulty but the difficulty is not me and we keep
113:42 but the difficulty is not me and we keep it at arms length so these two once we
113:44 it at arms length so these two once we begin to stop justifying and stop
113:47 begin to stop justifying and stop identifying or taking things personally
113:49 identifying or taking things personally stop getting emotionally involved have
113:51 stop getting emotionally involved have you ever had the situation where
113:52 you ever had the situation where somebody comes to you with a problem and
113:53 somebody comes to you with a problem and you get so emotionally involved with
113:55 you get so emotionally involved with their problem that you lose that that
113:57 their problem that you lose that that you start to feel upset and they go away
113:59 you start to feel upset and they go away and they don't have a problem anymore
114:00 and they don't have a problem anymore and you're you're still there and you're
114:01 and you're you're still there and you're upset this is because we've taken it so
114:04 upset this is because we've taken it so personally however the key to getting
114:06 personally however the key to getting rid of negative emotions and this is the
114:08 rid of negative emotions and this is the most important part of this is the trunk
114:11 most important part of this is the trunk it's cutting down the trunk of the
114:12 it's cutting down the trunk of the negative emotion tree and the trunk of
114:13 negative emotion tree and the trunk of the negative emotion tree is
114:16 the negative emotion tree is blame blame is
114:19 blame blame is 99% of negative emotions now it's very
114:22 99% of negative emotions now it's very important to understand where negative
114:24 important to understand where negative emotions come from negative emotions
114:26 emotions come from negative emotions come from inside you negative emotions
114:29 come from inside you negative emotions are not contained in external situations
114:32 are not contained in external situations negative emotions are not caused by
114:34 negative emotions are not caused by other people or other situations
114:36 other people or other situations negative emotions are caused by your
114:39 negative emotions are caused by your response to other situations perfect
114:41 response to other situations perfect example two people meet the same
114:44 example two people meet the same situation a traffic jam a rude waiter
114:47 situation a traffic jam a rude waiter whatever it happens to be and one person
114:49 whatever it happens to be and one person gets all upset and uptight and angry the
114:51 gets all upset and uptight and angry the other person lets it
114:53 other person lets it go off their back another example the
114:56 go off their back another example the same person two different days one day
114:58 same person two different days one day they've had an argument or a flat tire
114:59 they've had an argument or a flat tire or they're late for work they get into a
115:01 or they're late for work they get into a traffic jam and they're angry and
115:02 traffic jam and they're angry and they're uptight the next day they leave
115:04 they're uptight the next day they leave with plenty of time they had a lovely
115:06 with plenty of time they had a lovely breakfast with their family they got
115:08 breakfast with their family they got lots of time to get to work they have a
115:09 lots of time to get to work they have a traffic jam doesn't bother them at all
115:11 traffic jam doesn't bother them at all in both cases it's an example of that
115:13 in both cases it's an example of that the negative emotion does not come from
115:15 the negative emotion does not come from the situation is that you are always
115:17 the situation is that you are always free to choose the quality of your
115:18 free to choose the quality of your emotional life is that you choose to
115:21 emotional life is that you choose to become an angry Now understand this
115:24 become an angry Now understand this nobody makes you feel anything nobody
115:27 nobody makes you feel anything nobody makes you feel angry nobody makes you
115:30 makes you feel angry nobody makes you feel tense nobody makes you feel upset
115:33 feel tense nobody makes you feel upset you always decide how you're going to
115:35 you always decide how you're going to feel and then if you're not careful you
115:37 feel and then if you're not careful you will fall into a negative habit pattern
115:39 will fall into a negative habit pattern of blaming the other person blame is the
115:42 of blaming the other person blame is the core of all negative emotions when you
115:45 core of all negative emotions when you stop blaming you cut down the negative
115:48 stop blaming you cut down the negative emotion tree you cut it off you kill it
115:51 emotion tree you cut it off you kill it and all the negative emotions die
115:54 and all the negative emotions die simultaneously it's almost exactly as if
115:56 simultaneously it's almost exactly as if this negative emotion tree were a
115:58 this negative emotion tree were a Christmas tree and it were plugged into
116:00 Christmas tree and it were plugged into the wall and the negative emotions were
116:03 the wall and the negative emotions were Christmas tree lights and you took this
116:05 Christmas tree lights and you took this plug and you jerked it out of the wall
116:08 plug and you jerked it out of the wall what would happen well what would happen
116:09 what would happen well what would happen is that all the negative emotions the
116:11 is that all the negative emotions the lights would go out simultaneously just
116:14 lights would go out simultaneously just like that how do you do this you do this
116:16 like that how do you do this you do this by using the law of substitution
116:18 by using the law of substitution remember the law of substitution says
116:20 remember the law of substitution says that the conscious mind can only hold
116:21 that the conscious mind can only hold one thought a time it's a thought that
116:23 one thought a time it's a thought that the conscious mind holds that determines
116:25 the conscious mind holds that determines how the emotions will react how the
116:27 how the emotions will react how the subconscious mind will react since it
116:29 subconscious mind will react since it can only hold one thought at a time what
116:30 can only hold one thought at a time what you do is you knock out the thought that
116:33 you do is you knock out the thought that is causing the negative emotion the
116:35 is causing the negative emotion the blame thought and you replace it with
116:37 blame thought and you replace it with this
116:38 this affirmation I am
116:41 affirmation I am responsible I am
116:44 responsible I am responsible I am
116:47 responsible I am responsible this in conjunction with I
116:50 responsible this in conjunction with I like myself I am responsible is the most
116:52 like myself I am responsible is the most powerful positive affirmation you can
116:55 powerful positive affirmation you can use because the instant that you say I
116:57 use because the instant that you say I am responsible you exert complete
116:59 am responsible you exert complete control over your emotional life the
117:01 control over your emotional life the instance you say I am responsible
117:02 instance you say I am responsible suddenly you are back in the driver's
117:04 suddenly you are back in the driver's seat you cannot say I am responsible and
117:07 seat you cannot say I am responsible and feel a negative emotions simultaneously
117:10 feel a negative emotions simultaneously the one knocks the other one out of your
117:12 the one knocks the other one out of your conscious mind and you can start off for
117:14 conscious mind and you can start off for instance each one of us has a situation
117:16 instance each one of us has a situation that causes us a lot of aggravation you
117:18 that causes us a lot of aggravation you have a situation it may be a person but
117:20 have a situation it may be a person but every time you think about it you get
117:21 every time you think about it you get angry every time you think about it you
117:23 angry every time you think about it you get Cross or you get distracted what you
117:25 get Cross or you get distracted what you do is whenever you start to think about
117:27 do is whenever you start to think about that situation neutralize it by saying I
117:29 that situation neutralize it by saying I am responsible wait a minute I am
117:30 am responsible wait a minute I am responsible is it a relationship who got
117:33 responsible is it a relationship who got yourself into the relationship did
117:34 yourself into the relationship did somebody put you there at gunpoint or
117:36 somebody put you there at gunpoint or did you get into it by yourself is it a
117:38 did you get into it by yourself is it a job is it an investment is it a health
117:41 job is it an investment is it a health problem of some kind in every case
117:44 problem of some kind in every case accept responsibility now there's a big
117:45 accept responsibility now there's a big difference between acceptance
117:47 difference between acceptance responsibility and let me just write
117:48 responsibility and let me just write this up it's responsibility versus blame
118:02 responsibility versus blame what is what is blame blame always looks backward
118:04 is blame blame always looks backward toward the past blame looks toward the
118:07 toward the past blame looks toward the past toward what cannot be done toward
118:09 past toward what cannot be done toward what can't be changed responsibility
118:11 what can't be changed responsibility always looks to the
118:12 always looks to the Future so people say well when you
118:14 Future so people say well when you accept responsibility isn't that the
118:15 accept responsibility isn't that the same as saying you're to blame no it's
118:18 same as saying you're to blame no it's the same as saying that you are in
118:20 the same as saying that you are in charge of the quality you're thinking
118:23 charge of the quality you're thinking From This Moment onward so let us say
118:25 From This Moment onward so let us say that you come out to the parking lot and
118:26 that you come out to the parking lot and somebody's running into your car now you
118:28 somebody's running into your car now you have two choices you can become angry
118:29 have two choices you can become angry and upset and run around and scream and
118:31 and upset and run around and scream and shout or you can act in a responsible
118:33 shout or you can act in a responsible manner you can do everything possible to
118:35 manner you can do everything possible to trace the culprit and other than that
118:37 trace the culprit and other than that you can live with it maturely so
118:40 you can live with it maturely so responsibility always looks to the
118:41 responsibility always looks to the Future responsibility always asks this
118:44 Future responsibility always asks this question when faced with a
118:46 question when faced with a problem what can we do not who did it
118:51 problem what can we do not who did it but what can we do from here where do we
118:55 but what can we do from here where do we go from here what can we do this is the
118:58 go from here what can we do this is the question of the responsible person we
119:01 question of the responsible person we don't cry over spill milk we just say
119:03 don't cry over spill milk we just say all right what's the solution and we get
119:05 all right what's the solution and we get on with the game the irresponsible
119:07 on with the game the irresponsible person always says who did it and is
119:10 person always says who did it and is obsessed with finding out who did it and
119:12 obsessed with finding out who did it and then taking whatever blame there is and
119:14 then taking whatever blame there is and a portioning it so that everybody gets
119:15 a portioning it so that everybody gets their fair share of the blame which of
119:17 their fair share of the blame which of course does nothing to resolve the
119:19 course does nothing to resolve the difficulty so the key to cutting down
119:21 difficulty so the key to cutting down the negative emotion tree is using the
119:25 the negative emotion tree is using the ax and eliminating blaming the day that
119:28 ax and eliminating blaming the day that you begin to eliminate blaming from your
119:30 you begin to eliminate blaming from your life is the day that your life starts to
119:32 life is the day that your life starts to take off because the day that you start
119:34 take off because the day that you start to eliminate blaming and negative
119:35 to eliminate blaming and negative emotions suddenly most of the problems
119:38 emotions suddenly most of the problems most of the things that stand between
119:40 most of the things that stand between you and the happiness you desire vanish
119:44 you and the happiness you desire vanish why am I making such an emphasis on
119:45 why am I making such an emphasis on negative emotions well let me make that
119:47 negative emotions well let me make that clear for just a second what I found and
119:50 clear for just a second what I found and this is what was staggering to me
119:51 this is what was staggering to me because always been committed to
119:53 because always been committed to realizing my potential as a human being
119:55 realizing my potential as a human being is that you cannot advance in life
119:58 is that you cannot advance in life except to the degree to which you get
120:00 except to the degree to which you get rid of your negative emotions you cannot
120:02 rid of your negative emotions you cannot make any progress you cannot go any
120:04 make any progress you cannot go any further than where you are right this
120:06 further than where you are right this minute except the to the degree to which
120:08 minute except the to the degree to which you leave your negative emotions behind
120:12 you leave your negative emotions behind now by the way with regard to the
120:14 now by the way with regard to the negative emotion that you have that's
120:16 negative emotion that you have that's associated with another person or
120:18 associated with another person or situation it's difficult to accept
120:20 situation it's difficult to accept responsibility it's difficult to say I
120:22 responsibility it's difficult to say I am responsible initially because you've
120:24 am responsible initially because you've been blaming that person for so long so
120:26 been blaming that person for so long so sometimes you have to say it with
120:27 sometimes you have to say it with gritted teeth you have to say wait
120:30 gritted teeth you have to say wait responsible I am responsible but the
120:32 responsible I am responsible but the more you repeat this I am responsible I
120:34 more you repeat this I am responsible I am responsible I am responsible it comes
120:37 am responsible I am responsible it comes easier and easier eventually it gets to
120:39 easier and easier eventually it gets to the point where as soon as you think of
120:41 the point where as soon as you think of that person or situation you can
120:42 that person or situation you can neutralize the thought by the law of
120:44 neutralize the thought by the law of substitution by saying wait a minute I'm
120:45 substitution by saying wait a minute I'm responsible I am responsible there's a
120:49 responsible I am responsible there's a beautiful line that you can use also in
120:52 beautiful line that you can use also in dealing with difficult people that goes
120:54 dealing with difficult people that goes back to self-esteem and it also has to
120:56 back to self-esteem and it also has to do with eliminating negative emotions is
120:59 do with eliminating negative emotions is say something like this no matter what
121:00 say something like this no matter what you say or do I'm still a valuable and
121:02 you say or do I'm still a valuable and worthwhile person or no matter what
121:05 worthwhile person or no matter what happens I am still a valuable and
121:07 happens I am still a valuable and worthwhile person or no matter how this
121:09 worthwhile person or no matter how this situation turns out I am still a
121:11 situation turns out I am still a valuable and worthwhile person the
121:14 valuable and worthwhile person the natural course of life is this here's
121:16 natural course of life is this here's the road of life and when we're children
121:18 the road of life and when we're children we start off with no negative emotions
121:21 we start off with no negative emotions all negative emotions by the way have to
121:22 all negative emotions by the way have to be taught to a child they have to be
121:24 be taught to a child they have to be taught and the child has to learn them
121:26 taught and the child has to learn them from their parents have you ever seen a
121:27 from their parents have you ever seen a negative baby there's no such thing as a
121:29 negative baby there's no such thing as a negative baby babies just laugh and
121:31 negative baby babies just laugh and they're happy and they cry when they
121:33 they're happy and they cry when they have needs but babies are not negative
121:35 have needs but babies are not negative but as we grow up we watch the people
121:37 but as we grow up we watch the people around us and we begin to develop our
121:39 around us and we begin to develop our own negative emotions which we carry in
121:41 own negative emotions which we carry in a sack on our back as we become
121:43 a sack on our back as we become teenagers our this sack grows big enough
121:46 teenagers our this sack grows big enough to the point where we can even go to
121:47 to the point where we can even go to slumber parties or we can get together
121:49 slumber parties or we can get together with our buddies and we can talk about
121:50 with our buddies and we can talk about how terrible our CH child has been how
121:52 how terrible our CH child has been how rotten our parents are how rotten our
121:54 rotten our parents are how rotten our siblings teachers and everything else
121:55 siblings teachers and everything else are now when we become adults what is
121:58 are now when we become adults what is the mark of adulthood in our society the
122:00 the mark of adulthood in our society the mark of adulthood is that you have a
122:02 mark of adulthood is that you have a great gunny sack full of negative
122:04 great gunny sack full of negative emotions because you have suffered and
122:06 emotions because you have suffered and what happens is you spend most of your
122:08 what happens is you spend most of your time when you're with other people
122:09 time when you're with other people letting down your guards and telling
122:11 letting down your guards and telling them about how much you've suffered what
122:13 them about how much you've suffered what you do is you uh use exchanges of
122:16 you do is you uh use exchanges of negative emotions as the basis for your
122:18 negative emotions as the basis for your relationships you say look I'll show you
122:20 relationships you say look I'll show you my negative emotions if you'll show me
122:21 my negative emotions if you'll show me yours remember like we used to do as
122:23 yours remember like we used to do as kids and what you do is you get together
122:25 kids and what you do is you get together like a couple of traitors in an Arab
122:26 like a couple of traitors in an Arab bizaar and you display your negative
122:28 bizaar and you display your negative emotion you say oh look at this rotten
122:30 emotion you say oh look at this rotten childhood I had and look at this
122:31 childhood I had and look at this terrible relationship and look at how
122:33 terrible relationship and look at how crummy my boss is and how rotten this is
122:35 crummy my boss is and how rotten this is and so on and you exchange them back and
122:37 and so on and you exchange them back and forth now what happens when you talk
122:39 forth now what happens when you talk about and think about your negative
122:40 about and think about your negative emotions remember the law of
122:41 emotions remember the law of concentration whatever you dwell upon
122:44 concentration whatever you dwell upon grows whatever you dwell upon grows and
122:47 grows whatever you dwell upon grows and gains strength and stays alive negative
122:50 gains strength and stays alive negative emotions by the way and this is another
122:51 emotions by the way and this is another thing that I learned in the study is
122:52 thing that I learned in the study is negative emotions are very fragile and
122:55 negative emotions are very fragile and ephemeral things he said if you don't
122:56 ephemeral things he said if you don't keep them alive through constant talking
122:58 keep them alive through constant talking through constant cultivation you know
123:00 through constant cultivation you know what happens they die on you yes you see
123:03 what happens they die on you yes you see negative emotions just die it's like a
123:05 negative emotions just die it's like a fire if it falls where there's nothing
123:07 fire if it falls where there's nothing or spark if it falls where there's
123:08 or spark if it falls where there's nothing to burn it goes out negative
123:11 nothing to burn it goes out negative emotions unless you talk about them and
123:12 emotions unless you talk about them and keep them going unless you dwell on them
123:14 keep them going unless you dwell on them all the time they die on you you ever
123:15 all the time they die on you you ever had an experience where you're really
123:17 had an experience where you're really worried about something you're really
123:18 worried about something you're really upset about something and it's
123:19 upset about something and it's preoccupying all of your time and and
123:22 preoccupying all of your time and and then you get to work or you get home and
123:23 then you get to work or you get home and you get so busy doing something else
123:25 you get so busy doing something else that for about three or four hours you
123:26 that for about three or four hours you don't have time to think of anything
123:27 don't have time to think of anything else about three or four hours you stop
123:29 else about three or four hours you stop and say gez I haven't worried about that
123:30 and say gez I haven't worried about that for a long time I got to get back to
123:32 for a long time I got to get back to worrying about it because what's
123:33 worrying about it because what's happening it's going out it's like a
123:34 happening it's going out it's like a fire that's going out so you got to get
123:35 fire that's going out so you got to get back to it you got to think about it and
123:36 back to it you got to think about it and talk about it and worry about it and
123:38 talk about it and worry about it and hassle it to get it back up to the point
123:40 hassle it to get it back up to the point where it's preoccupying your whole mind
123:41 where it's preoccupying your whole mind how many times do that happen well what
123:44 how many times do that happen well what the mature adult does is the mature
123:46 the mature adult does is the mature adult leaves their negative emotions by
123:49 adult leaves their negative emotions by the side of the road and gets on with
123:51 the side of the road and gets on with the rest of their life they get on with
123:53 the rest of their life they get on with the rest of their life they leave them
123:55 the rest of their life they leave them there instead of dragging them along
123:57 there instead of dragging them along they leave them like a big pile of
123:59 they leave them like a big pile of garbage at a garbage strike they just
124:01 garbage at a garbage strike they just leave it there and when people say how
124:03 leave it there and when people say how are things going you say wonderful you
124:05 are things going you say wonderful you say how's life you say terrific you say
124:07 say how's life you say terrific you say how's your relationships couldn't be
124:08 how's your relationships couldn't be better how is your health how you
124:09 better how is your health how you feeling I feel great in other words
124:12 feeling I feel great in other words don't talk about negative things because
124:14 don't talk about negative things because when you talk about negative things you
124:15 when you talk about negative things you actually increase them and you draw more
124:18 actually increase them and you draw more of them into your life look at the
124:19 of them into your life look at the people that you know who have problems
124:21 people that you know who have problems you know most the people that you know
124:22 you know most the people that you know have problems all the time never seem to
124:24 have problems all the time never seem to solve their problems are people who talk
124:25 solve their problems are people who talk about their problems all the time to him
124:27 about their problems all the time to him that has shall more be given from him
124:29 that has shall more be given from him who hath not even that which he has
124:30 who hath not even that which he has shall be taken away now this is another
124:32 shall be taken away now this is another and critical point with regard to
124:34 and critical point with regard to relationships and I learned this again
124:36 relationships and I learned this again in my studies it is that each of us has
124:39 in my studies it is that each of us has a certain amount of suffering that we've
124:40 a certain amount of suffering that we've gone through and people fall in love
124:44 gone through and people fall in love with their suffering people love their
124:46 with their suffering people love their suffering as a matter of fact they feel
124:49 suffering as a matter of fact they feel that they've paid for it they've thought
124:51 that they've paid for it they've thought about it they lived with it for so long
124:53 about it they lived with it for so long that most people are very reluctant to
124:55 that most people are very reluctant to give up their suffering you can't talk
124:58 give up their suffering you can't talk them out of it you say well why don't
124:59 them out of it you say well why don't you just forget it why don't you just
125:00 you just forget it why don't you just put it behind you what why don't you
125:02 put it behind you what why don't you just get on with it they say well I
125:03 just get on with it they say well I can't do that do you know how much I've
125:05 can't do that do you know how much I've suffered do you know how much emotional
125:06 suffered do you know how much emotional investment I've put into this
125:07 investment I've put into this relationship his job his career and so
125:09 relationship his job his career and so on I remember oh I can't I can tell you
125:12 on I remember oh I can't I can tell you a thousand people have come up to me who
125:14 a thousand people have come up to me who are in bad relationships and they say
125:15 are in bad relationships and they say well I've been in this relationship or
125:17 well I've been in this relationship or in this marriage now for several years
125:19 in this marriage now for several years and I'm miserable I'm unhappy we don't
125:20 and I'm miserable I'm unhappy we don't like each other it's going I say why
125:22 like each other it's going I say why don't you do something about it but
125:23 don't you do something about it but after all these years and what I say to
125:25 after all these years and what I say to them is I say look the average life
125:27 them is I say look the average life expectancy of the average American today
125:29 expectancy of the average American today is between 75 and 80 years and it's
125:31 is between 75 and 80 years and it's going up by the time we reach the end of
125:34 going up by the time we reach the end of the century the average life expectancy
125:35 the century the average life expectancy would probably 80 85 90 years old you
125:37 would probably 80 85 90 years old you know what that means that whatever age
125:39 know what that means that whatever age you are now and you may be 20 25 30 35
125:41 you are now and you may be 20 25 30 35 it doesn't really matter you subtract
125:43 it doesn't really matter you subtract that from 80 you get the number of years
125:44 that from 80 you get the number of years that you've got left to live in this
125:46 that you've got left to live in this current situation you ask yourself do
125:47 current situation you ask yourself do you want to live in this situation for
125:49 you want to live in this situation for the next 30 40 50 years and the answer
125:52 the next 30 40 50 years and the answer answer in all honesty has to be no
125:55 answer in all honesty has to be no because it's probably not going to get
125:56 because it's probably not going to get any better people love their suffering
125:58 any better people love their suffering they hate to give up their suffering so
126:00 they hate to give up their suffering so what we've devised is a very simple bit
126:01 what we've devised is a very simple bit of advice and this advice I just
126:03 of advice and this advice I just recently discussed this with a
126:05 recently discussed this with a Consulting psychologist and he said it's
126:06 Consulting psychologist and he said it's the simplest advice he's ever heard to
126:08 the simplest advice he's ever heard to give to people who need it it's when
126:10 give to people who need it it's when somebody comes up to you and wants to
126:11 somebody comes up to you and wants to talk to you about their problems you say
126:14 talk to you about their problems you say yes and you be sympathetic and
126:15 yes and you be sympathetic and empathetic it's very good to hear people
126:17 empathetic it's very good to hear people and let them talk about their problems
126:19 and let them talk about their problems except there are some people who do
126:20 except there are some people who do nothing but talk about their problems
126:21 nothing but talk about their problems every time you see them they talk about
126:22 every time you see them they talk about their problems very often they talk
126:23 their problems very often they talk about the same things they talked about
126:25 about the same things they talked about last time what you do is you say yes I
126:27 last time what you do is you say yes I hear what you say and I'm I'm very
126:29 hear what you say and I'm I'm very sympathetic however you're responsible
126:31 sympathetic however you're responsible for your own life you are responsible
126:33 for your own life you are responsible what are you going to do about it you
126:35 what are you going to do about it you are responsible for your own life what
126:37 are responsible for your own life what are you going to do about
126:39 are you going to do about it now what will happen is this is that
126:42 it now what will happen is this is that your good friends will
126:44 your good friends will say yes you're right I am responsible I
126:46 say yes you're right I am responsible I have to make a change I have to do
126:47 have to make a change I have to do something about it and they'll go out
126:49 something about it and they'll go out and they'll do it as a matter of fact
126:51 and they'll do it as a matter of fact they'll come they'll lay out all their
126:52 they'll come they'll lay out all their problems to you and all you say to them
126:54 problems to you and all you say to them is this you say well what do you think
126:56 is this you say well what do you think you should do about it now your good
126:59 you should do about it now your good friends can use that conversational time
127:01 friends can use that conversational time to get their own thoughts in line to
127:04 to get their own thoughts in line to come up with their own conclusions and
127:05 come up with their own conclusions and go out and they don't need your advice
127:06 go out and they don't need your advice most people don't need advice there's an
127:08 most people don't need advice there's an old saying that says that don't worry
127:10 old saying that says that don't worry about the universal propensity to give
127:12 about the universal propensity to give advice because the propensity to ignore
127:14 advice because the propensity to ignore it is equally Universal people don't
127:16 it is equally Universal people don't need advice sometimes they just need a
127:17 need advice sometimes they just need a sounding board however there are some
127:19 sounding board however there are some people who don't have any intentions of
127:21 people who don't have any intentions of doing anything about their problems all
127:23 doing anything about their problems all they want to do is they want to use
127:24 they want to do is they want to use their problems as an excuse to get you
127:28 their problems as an excuse to get you to talk about them you understand that
127:31 to talk about them you understand that it's a very common neurotic tendency in
127:33 it's a very common neurotic tendency in our society is to use your problems as
127:35 our society is to use your problems as the basis for the discussion here's my
127:37 the basis for the discussion here's my problems lets you and me talk about them
127:40 problems lets you and me talk about them and the person in himself or herself has
127:42 and the person in himself or herself has no interest in you at all all they have
127:45 no interest in you at all all they have an interest in is having you listen as a
127:47 an interest in is having you listen as a matter of fact we say this as a as as a
127:50 matter of fact we say this as a as as a joke we say that this is what these
127:51 joke we say that this is what these people look like is these people look
127:53 people look like is these people look upon you as being a person and this is
127:56 upon you as being a person and this is your face and this is your eyes and
127:59 your face and this is your eyes and these are your
128:02 these are your ears see and here is your eyes
128:05 ears see and here is your eyes preferably wide open and sympathetic
128:07 preferably wide open and sympathetic here's your mouth preferably shut and
128:10 here's your mouth preferably shut and here's your ears preferably wide open
128:13 here's your ears preferably wide open these people don't even look upon you as
128:15 these people don't even look upon you as a person they don't care about your
128:16 a person they don't care about your problems at all all they care about is
128:18 problems at all all they care about is you sitting there listening and nodding
128:20 you sitting there listening and nodding sympathetically and giving them advice
128:22 sympathetically and giving them advice which they have no intention whatever of
128:24 which they have no intention whatever of following when you run into people like
128:26 following when you run into people like this it's a very simple way to test the
128:28 this it's a very simple way to test the friendship just start talking about
128:30 friendship just start talking about yourself say well you know I'm really
128:32 yourself say well you know I'm really glad you brought your problems to me
128:33 glad you brought your problems to me because I've got some problems of my own
128:34 because I've got some problems of my own and I like to discuss my life with you
128:36 and I like to discuss my life with you you will find these people will run for
128:38 you will find these people will run for the door they'll watch their watch
128:39 the door they'll watch their watch they've got an appointment they'll take
128:41 they've got an appointment they'll take off so fast you can't imagine all right
128:43 off so fast you can't imagine all right now one final point and this is critical
128:45 now one final point and this is critical it's absolutely critical to the whole
128:47 it's absolutely critical to the whole subject it's the wrap-up point if you
128:49 subject it's the wrap-up point if you like it's this if is that when we start
128:52 like it's this if is that when we start talking about giving up negative
128:53 talking about giving up negative emotions almost everybody says yes I
128:55 emotions almost everybody says yes I agree what you say is true it makes
128:58 agree what you say is true it makes sense to me Brian and I am going to give
129:00 sense to me Brian and I am going to give up my negative emotions I am going to
129:02 up my negative emotions I am going to accept responsibility I am going to take
129:04 accept responsibility I am going to take charge of my life and I'm not going to
129:05 charge of my life and I'm not going to blame anybody else anymore except for
129:09 blame anybody else anymore except for one everybody has one that they're not
129:13 one everybody has one that they're not going to part with everybody has that
129:15 going to part with everybody has that favorite negative emotion that they've
129:16 favorite negative emotion that they've been paying for and holding on to for
129:19 been paying for and holding on to for years now let me tell you why it's so
129:21 years now let me tell you why it's so important that you give it up here's a
129:23 important that you give it up here's a car imagine this a beautiful Mercedes
129:25 car imagine this a beautiful Mercedes automobile brand new from the factory
129:28 automobile brand new from the factory absolutely spitting
129:30 absolutely spitting 560 seel
129:33 560 seel $55,000 beautiful vehicle tested in
129:35 $55,000 beautiful vehicle tested in every aspect absolutely perfect it's
129:37 every aspect absolutely perfect it's given to you without a flaw except for
129:41 given to you without a flaw except for one this is the front of the automobile
129:44 one this is the front of the automobile and there's one small problem is that
129:46 and there's one small problem is that for some mechanical reason this brake is
129:50 for some mechanical reason this brake is locked on
129:55 now you get into this beautiful Mercedes Just As You Are Beautiful Mind beautiful
129:57 Just As You Are Beautiful Mind beautiful body beautiful potential incredible
129:59 body beautiful potential incredible capability you get into this beautiful
130:01 capability you get into this beautiful Mercedes and you start it up and you
130:02 Mercedes and you start it up and you step on the gas and what happens well if
130:06 step on the gas and what happens well if the front brake is locked on what will
130:08 the front brake is locked on what will happen to the car no matter how hard you
130:10 happen to the car no matter how hard you step on the gas what will happen to the
130:11 step on the gas what will happen to the car what will happen is that the car
130:14 car what will happen is that the car will spin it'll go around in circles
130:17 will spin it'll go around in circles it'll Spin and it will go around in
130:18 it'll Spin and it will go around in circles until you stop stepping on the
130:20 circles until you stop stepping on the gas and you get give up as long as that
130:22 gas and you get give up as long as that front Brak is locked on you can't go
130:25 front Brak is locked on you can't go anywhere what I found was this is that
130:28 anywhere what I found was this is that the existence of just one negative
130:30 the existence of just one negative emotion that you will not let go of for
130:33 emotion that you will not let go of for whatever reason and the reason is always
130:35 whatever reason and the reason is always an ego reason the reason it always has
130:38 an ego reason the reason it always has to do with your own ego will cause you
130:41 to do with your own ego will cause you to stay in the same place and spin your
130:44 to stay in the same place and spin your wheels and go in circles for the rest of
130:47 wheels and go in circles for the rest of your life that you all know people who
130:50 your life that you all know people who are talented who have opport unities
130:51 are talented who have opport unities good educations and so on and so forth
130:53 good educations and so on and so forth and their life just goes around in
130:56 and their life just goes around in circles they just seem to be spinning
130:58 circles they just seem to be spinning they've got everything going for them
130:59 they've got everything going for them and they just continually have problems
131:02 and they just continually have problems why is it almost invariably and this is
131:04 why is it almost invariably and this is what all psychoanalysis does all
131:06 what all psychoanalysis does all Psychotherapy is they've got one
131:08 Psychotherapy is they've got one negative emotion locked on and the
131:09 negative emotion locked on and the negative emotion they have locked on is
131:11 negative emotion they have locked on is blame there is somebody that they are
131:14 blame there is somebody that they are still blaming for something there's
131:15 still blaming for something there's somebody that they are not going to let
131:17 somebody that they are not going to let off the hook because that son of a gun
131:19 off the hook because that son of a gun did something to them you know what I'm
131:21 did something to them you know what I'm talking about you know what I'm talking
131:23 talking about you know what I'm talking about because we're all in the same boat
131:25 about because we're all in the same boat we're all human beings the reason this
131:27 we're all human beings the reason this makes sense to you and I is because we
131:30 makes sense to you and I is because we do have a tendency to fall in love with
131:32 do have a tendency to fall in love with our suffering we do have a tendency to
131:33 our suffering we do have a tendency to gunny sack and to think that part of our
131:36 gunny sack and to think that part of our humanity is all these negative emotions
131:38 humanity is all these negative emotions we do have a tendency to see that other
131:41 we do have a tendency to see that other people are responsible other people have
131:42 people are responsible other people have hurt us they did cost us money they did
131:45 hurt us they did cost us money they did hurt us in a relationship but the key to
131:48 hurt us in a relationship but the key to Peak Performance the key to happiness
131:51 Peak Performance the key to happiness the the key to success is to use the law
131:53 the the key to success is to use the law of substitution and knock those negative
131:56 of substitution and knock those negative emotions out of the box by the very
131:58 emotions out of the box by the very first time you think of anything that
132:00 first time you think of anything that causes you any stress you say I am
132:02 causes you any stress you say I am responsible wait a minute I am
132:04 responsible wait a minute I am responsible I am responsible I am
132:07 responsible I am responsible I am responsible I like myself and I am
132:09 responsible I like myself and I am responsible I like myself and I am
132:12 responsible I like myself and I am responsible and nothing outside of me is
132:14 responsible and nothing outside of me is going to disrupt my peace of mind I am
132:17 going to disrupt my peace of mind I am in charge of my emotional life I am
132:20 in charge of my emotional life I am responsible
132:22 responsible you are
132:36 responsible session seven releasing your breakes when I began studying negative
132:38 breakes when I began studying negative emotions many years ago the most
132:40 emotions many years ago the most critical point I discovered was that you
132:42 critical point I discovered was that you cannot make any progress toward health
132:45 cannot make any progress toward health happiness love and fulfillment of your
132:47 happiness love and fulfillment of your potential as long as you insist on
132:50 potential as long as you insist on keeping your negative emotions intact
132:52 keeping your negative emotions intact now the only good thing about negative
132:54 now the only good thing about negative emotions if there is any good thing at
132:56 emotions if there is any good thing at all is that negative emotions are not
132:58 all is that negative emotions are not permanent even according to Sigman Freud
133:00 permanent even according to Sigman Freud there is no permanent place for negative
133:02 there is no permanent place for negative emotions in the subconscious in other
133:04 emotions in the subconscious in other words they are unwanted visitors they
133:07 words they are unwanted visitors they are negative habits or negative response
133:09 are negative habits or negative response patterns that can be eliminated and the
133:11 patterns that can be eliminated and the starting point of eliminating them is
133:13 starting point of eliminating them is understanding where they came from
133:15 understanding where they came from understanding what were the causitive
133:16 understanding what were the causitive factors going back to Early Childhood
133:19 factors going back to Early Childhood that have triggered the development of
133:20 that have triggered the development of negative emotions and have given us as
133:22 negative emotions and have given us as adults a propensity to be negative in
133:25 adults a propensity to be negative in one way or another that takes us to
133:28 one way or another that takes us to Early Childhood conditioning remember we
133:31 Early Childhood conditioning remember we said before that the starting point of
133:34 said before that the starting point of inhibitive and compulsive negative habit
133:36 inhibitive and compulsive negative habit patterns was destructive criticism
133:39 patterns was destructive criticism destructive
133:40 destructive criticism is the great Destroyer
133:43 criticism is the great Destroyer destructive
133:44 destructive criticism destroys people on the inside
133:47 criticism destroys people on the inside and leaves them walking around on the
133:48 and leaves them walking around on the outside more personalities have been
133:50 outside more personalities have been under mind and destroyed more
133:52 under mind and destroyed more self-esteem has been cast aside as a
133:55 self-esteem has been cast aside as a result of destructive criticism than
133:57 result of destructive criticism than anything that else that we can possibly
133:59 anything that else that we can possibly imagine so destructive criticism is the
134:01 imagine so destructive criticism is the great killer now why is it so bad well
134:03 great killer now why is it so bad well we know that children as infants
134:05 we know that children as infants children as they're growing up have a
134:07 children as they're growing up have a tremendous need for love and approval
134:09 tremendous need for love and approval from their parents in fact many
134:11 from their parents in fact many psychiatrists and psychologists have
134:12 psychiatrists and psychologists have said that the number one reason for
134:14 said that the number one reason for mental illness in adulthood is
134:16 mental illness in adulthood is withdrawal of Love or love withheld we
134:20 withdrawal of Love or love withheld we know that any prestigious person any
134:22 know that any prestigious person any person who is important to a child has
134:25 person who is important to a child has an inordinate impact on that child and
134:27 an inordinate impact on that child and that children up to the age of 6
134:31 that children up to the age of 6 years have very little ability to
134:34 years have very little ability to discriminate between valid and invalid
134:37 discriminate between valid and invalid criticism what this means is that
134:39 criticism what this means is that anything that a parent or an older
134:41 anything that a parent or an older sibling or an older relative anything
134:44 sibling or an older relative anything that a a prestigious person or important
134:46 that a a prestigious person or important person says to a child is accepted as
134:49 person says to a child is accepted as true it's accepted it as a valid
134:52 true it's accepted it as a valid representation of reality if a mother
134:54 representation of reality if a mother says you're a bad boy if a daddy says
134:56 says you're a bad boy if a daddy says you're lazy if uh someone says that
134:59 you're lazy if uh someone says that you're not Dependable if someone says
135:00 you're not Dependable if someone says you're stupid or you're clumsy or you're
135:02 you're stupid or you're clumsy or you're ugly the child has no capacity whatever
135:06 ugly the child has no capacity whatever to discriminate between valid and
135:08 to discriminate between valid and invalid the child accepts that as a true
135:11 invalid the child accepts that as a true representation of reality it bypasses
135:14 representation of reality it bypasses the conscious mind goes straight into
135:15 the conscious mind goes straight into the subconscious and is stored many of
135:18 the subconscious and is stored many of us as adults are still living on the
135:21 us as adults are still living on the basis of negative information that was
135:23 basis of negative information that was programmed into us when we were children
135:26 programmed into us when we were children and then as adults what do we say we say
135:28 and then as adults what do we say we say well that's just the way I am or I've
135:30 well that's just the way I am or I've always been that way or some people even
135:31 always been that way or some people even say Well it runs in the family your
135:33 say Well it runs in the family your father was like that children are like
135:34 father was like that children are like that or your mother was like that and so
135:36 that or your mother was like that and so on but where did it come from none of
135:38 on but where did it come from none of these things run in the family for
135:41 these things run in the family for instance when I was growing up my
135:42 instance when I was growing up my parents had gone through the depression
135:44 parents had gone through the depression and the Depression had made an
135:45 and the Depression had made an inordinate impact on them so whenever we
135:47 inordinate impact on them so whenever we talked about buying anything all the
135:49 talked about buying anything all the time I was growing up my parents would
135:51 time I was growing up my parents would become very very tense and they said we
135:52 become very very tense and they said we can't afford it we can't afford it we
135:54 can't afford it we can't afford it we can't afford it we can't afford it they
135:56 can't afford it we can't afford it they had this lack mentality this we can't
135:59 had this lack mentality this we can't afford it mentality all their lives and
136:01 afford it mentality all their lives and I grew up so even though I've never
136:03 I grew up so even though I've never experienced the depression and you've
136:04 experienced the depression and you've never experienced the depression in most
136:05 never experienced the depression in most cases 10 20 30 40 years later we're
136:07 cases 10 20 30 40 years later we're still saying I can't afford it I can't
136:09 still saying I can't afford it I can't afford it I can't afford it we're still
136:11 afford it I can't afford it we're still going on the basis of those critical
136:14 going on the basis of those critical remarks those emotionalized remarks that
136:16 remarks those emotionalized remarks that our parents said may maybe your parents
136:18 our parents said may maybe your parents said as my father told me over and over
136:20 said as my father told me over and over again you never finish anything you
136:21 again you never finish anything you start you never finish anything you
136:22 start you never finish anything you start you never finish anything you
136:24 start you never finish anything you start or you're lazy you never finish
136:26 start or you're lazy you never finish anything you start do you know when I
136:27 anything you start do you know when I was an adult I had a terrible time
136:29 was an adult I had a terrible time finishing things that I started as I
136:31 finishing things that I started as I would get close to the end of a task I
136:32 would get close to the end of a task I would actually begin to seize up and
136:34 would actually begin to seize up and look for every single excuse to
136:37 look for every single excuse to procrastinate and delay now the second
136:40 procrastinate and delay now the second factor that predisposes us to negative
136:42 factor that predisposes us to negative emotions is lack of
136:45 emotions is lack of love we know that children's
136:47 love we know that children's personalities develop to the degree to
136:49 personalities develop to the degree to which they receive a high quality and a
136:51 which they receive a high quality and a high quantity of love from their parents
136:54 high quantity of love from their parents there's a onetoone relationship between
136:56 there's a onetoone relationship between the amount of love the quality and
136:58 the amount of love the quality and quantity of love and healthy personality
137:00 quantity of love and healthy personality that love withdrawn or deprivation of
137:02 that love withdrawn or deprivation of Love is the key cause of unhappiness
137:05 Love is the key cause of unhappiness negativity and mental illness adulthood
137:08 negativity and mental illness adulthood now in order for a child to feel truly
137:10 now in order for a child to feel truly loved the child must have High
137:12 loved the child must have High self-concept parents and most of us
137:14 self-concept parents and most of us unfortunately had parents that were the
137:16 unfortunately had parents that were the victims of their parents and the victims
137:18 victims of their parents and the victims of their parents what one of the writers
137:20 of their parents what one of the writers say everybody is victim is a victim of a
137:22 say everybody is victim is a victim of a victim we are all victims of victims in
137:25 victim we are all victims of victims in other words parents meant to raise us
137:27 other words parents meant to raise us the best way they could but they were
137:29 the best way they could but they were victims of victims themselves now in
137:31 victims of victims themselves now in order for a child to feel fully loved
137:33 order for a child to feel fully loved three conditions have to exist number
137:36 three conditions have to exist number one condition is that parents must love
137:39 one condition is that parents must love themselves parents must love themselves
137:41 themselves parents must love themselves remember you can never give any more
137:43 remember you can never give any more love to others than you have for
137:46 love to others than you have for yourself if you don't love yourself you
137:48 yourself if you don't love yourself you can't love your children if you have a
137:49 can't love your children if you have a little bit of love for yourself you have
137:50 little bit of love for yourself you have have to spread it over your children if
137:52 have to spread it over your children if you have a little bit of love for
137:53 you have a little bit of love for yourself and that's all taken up by your
137:55 yourself and that's all taken up by your husband or your wife then sometimes even
137:57 husband or your wife then sometimes even though you want to love your children
138:00 though you want to love your children you don't have the love even if your
138:01 you don't have the love even if your parents wanted to love you in many cases
138:03 parents wanted to love you in many cases they didn't have the love to give why
138:05 they didn't have the love to give why it's because they never got it when they
138:06 it's because they never got it when they were growing up the second requirement
138:09 were growing up the second requirement is that parents must love each
138:13 is that parents must love each other in order for a child to grow up
138:16 other in order for a child to grow up feeling self-confident to grow up
138:18 feeling self-confident to grow up feeling loved to grow up feeling safe
138:20 feeling loved to grow up feeling safe and secure
138:21 and secure he or she must grow up in an environment
138:23 he or she must grow up in an environment where the parents love each other there
138:25 where the parents love each other there is nothing that is more frightening to a
138:27 is nothing that is more frightening to a child than to grow up in a household
138:29 child than to grow up in a household where the parents are fighting with each
138:31 where the parents are fighting with each other where the parents don't love each
138:33 other where the parents don't love each other where there's difficulty because
138:35 other where there's difficulty because the child always has a tendency first of
138:37 the child always has a tendency first of all to be a victim and that the child is
138:39 all to be a victim and that the child is shouted at and screamed at and the child
138:41 shouted at and screamed at and the child believes that the reason my mommy and
138:42 believes that the reason my mommy and daddy are fighting is it's my fault now
138:46 daddy are fighting is it's my fault now interesting research since there are so
138:47 interesting research since there are so many single parent families today
138:49 many single parent families today interesting research shows that when one
138:51 interesting research shows that when one of the parents leaves as a result of a
138:53 of the parents leaves as a result of a separation or a divorce the remaining CH
138:56 separation or a divorce the remaining CH child or children are invariably
138:58 child or children are invariably convinced that the reason the other
139:00 convinced that the reason the other parent left was because of something
139:03 parent left was because of something they did and it's critical if a marriage
139:05 they did and it's critical if a marriage or a relationship is going to end and
139:07 or a relationship is going to end and one is going to leave that the remaining
139:10 one is going to leave that the remaining parent tell the children over and over
139:13 parent tell the children over and over again that the reason the relationship
139:15 again that the reason the relationship didn't work out has nothing to do with
139:17 didn't work out has nothing to do with you it has only to do with me and Daddy
139:20 you it has only to do with me and Daddy or me and Mommy has nothing to do with
139:22 or me and Mommy has nothing to do with the child the child needs to hear it
139:24 the child the child needs to hear it many many times before the child feels
139:27 many many times before the child feels confident and secure and of course it's
139:28 confident and secure and of course it's always better that a child be raised in
139:29 always better that a child be raised in a home with one parent that loves them
139:31 a home with one parent that loves them rather than two parents that don't love
139:32 rather than two parents that don't love each other now the third condition that
139:35 each other now the third condition that must be fulfilled if lack of love is not
139:37 must be fulfilled if lack of love is not to exist is that parents must love the
139:41 to exist is that parents must love the child parents must love the
139:44 child parents must love the child well this seems pretty obvious I
139:46 child well this seems pretty obvious I mean seems pretty logical the fact of
139:48 mean seems pretty logical the fact of the matter is though and this is the
139:50 the matter is though and this is the hardest thing for you or I as adults
139:52 hardest thing for you or I as adults even to think about but it is possible
139:55 even to think about but it is possible that our parents didn't love us not that
139:58 that our parents didn't love us not that they didn't intend to I mean they meant
139:59 they didn't intend to I mean they meant to love us and they wanted to love us
140:01 to love us and they wanted to love us and they had us intending to love us and
140:02 and they had us intending to love us and so on but simply because they had
140:05 so on but simply because they had conflicts with each other and they had
140:06 conflicts with each other and they had unresolved problems with their parents
140:08 unresolved problems with their parents and they had the war and the depression
140:09 and they had the war and the depression and they had their careers and they had
140:11 and they had their careers and they had other responsibilities they just never
140:14 other responsibilities they just never got around to it you see that was the
140:16 got around to it you see that was the difficulty they meant to but they never
140:17 difficulty they meant to but they never got around to it the only way that you
140:19 got around to it the only way that you can really love a child is by spending a
140:22 can really love a child is by spending a high
140:28 quantity and high quality of time with the child High quantity high quality
140:31 the child High quantity high quality with the
140:33 with the child 10 minutes a day doesn't do it
140:36 child 10 minutes a day doesn't do it children consider themselves valuable to
140:38 children consider themselves valuable to the degree to which the most important
140:40 the degree to which the most important people in their lives spend time with
140:43 people in their lives spend time with them if the most important people in
140:45 them if the most important people in their lives their parents only spend a
140:47 their lives their parents only spend a little time with them the children
140:48 little time with them the children conclude that the reason for that is
140:50 conclude that the reason for that is because they are defective there is
140:52 because they are defective there is something essentially wrong with them
140:54 something essentially wrong with them and that's why their parents don't spend
140:56 and that's why their parents don't spend time with them parent the children don't
140:57 time with them parent the children don't think rationally they think purely
140:58 think rationally they think purely emotionally they only think if the
141:00 emotionally they only think if the parent is here he loves me or she loves
141:02 parent is here he loves me or she loves me if the parent doesn't spend time with
141:03 me if the parent doesn't spend time with me he or she doesn't love me so if any
141:06 me he or she doesn't love me so if any one of those three conditions or more
141:08 one of those three conditions or more existed when you were growing up the
141:10 existed when you were growing up the parents didn't love themselves the
141:11 parents didn't love themselves the parents didn't love each other or maybe
141:13 parents didn't love each other or maybe the parents didn't love you because they
141:14 the parents didn't love you because they never got around to it although they
141:16 never got around to it although they meant to then you will have grown up in
141:19 meant to then you will have grown up in conjunction with destructive criticism
141:20 conjunction with destructive criticism with what is called
141:22 with what is called guilt now what is guilt well guilt is a
141:25 guilt now what is guilt well guilt is a feeling of not being worth very much
141:29 feeling of not being worth very much where do we get this feeling well when
141:30 where do we get this feeling well when we're continually criticized by the
141:32 we're continually criticized by the important people in our lives and
141:34 important people in our lives and simultaneously we are not given the
141:35 simultaneously we are not given the amount of love that we need we feel that
141:37 amount of love that we need we feel that we're not worth very much we feel that
141:39 we're not worth very much we feel that we are worth less and a feeling of guilt
141:44 we are worth less and a feeling of guilt leads to a feeling of
141:47 leads to a feeling of worthlessness worthlessness
141:51 worthlessness worthlessness and guilt the feeling of worthlessness
141:53 and guilt the feeling of worthlessness is the underlying fundamental problem of
141:57 is the underlying fundamental problem of the 20th century it is the main source
141:59 the 20th century it is the main source of mental illness it is the main source
142:01 of mental illness it is the main source of problems in relationships it's the
142:03 of problems in relationships it's the main source of psychosomatic illness it
142:05 main source of psychosomatic illness it is the main source of most of the
142:07 is the main source of most of the problems that beset our society is this
142:09 problems that beset our society is this deep down feeling of guilt and
142:11 deep down feeling of guilt and worthlessness which is expressed or
142:13 worthlessness which is expressed or unexpressed in the thought or the
142:15 unexpressed in the thought or the attitude I'm not good enough I'm not
142:19 attitude I'm not good enough I'm not good enough I'm not good enough you know
142:23 good enough I'm not good enough you know we talked about self-esteem and how
142:24 we talked about self-esteem and how important it was self-esteem means I
142:26 important it was self-esteem means I like myself I like myself I like myself
142:29 like myself I like myself I like myself I like myself people who've been raised
142:31 I like myself people who've been raised with destructive criticism and lack of
142:32 with destructive criticism and lack of life not only don't like themselves they
142:35 life not only don't like themselves they don't feel that they're good enough for
142:36 don't feel that they're good enough for anybody or anything and in many cases
142:39 anybody or anything and in many cases they are plagued by self-hatred they
142:42 they are plagued by self-hatred they hate themselves self-hatred or self-
142:45 hate themselves self-hatred or self- condemnation and you will see this will
142:47 condemnation and you will see this will come out in their conversation and it
142:49 come out in their conversation and it will come out in their relationship ship
142:50 will come out in their relationship ship with other people people who hate
142:52 with other people people who hate themselves even though they want to have
142:54 themselves even though they want to have good relationships with other people are
142:55 good relationships with other people are simply not capable of it people who
142:57 simply not capable of it people who don't feel that they're good enough for
142:58 don't feel that they're good enough for anything will always bring it to the
143:00 anything will always bring it to the surface it will always be a problem now
143:02 surface it will always be a problem now what is the main reasons for Guilt
143:04 what is the main reasons for Guilt actually where do guilt where does guilt
143:05 actually where do guilt where does guilt come from guilt comes from three
143:06 come from guilt comes from three negative sources negative
143:09 negative sources negative parents negative influences or negative
143:12 parents negative influences or negative religion one of the three any one of the
143:15 religion one of the three any one of the three uses guilt and guilt is used or
143:17 three uses guilt and guilt is used or practiced especially by parents and by
143:20 practiced especially by parents and by some religious denominations for two
143:22 some religious denominations for two reasons one is
143:24 reasons one is punishment guilt is used to punish us
143:27 punishment guilt is used to punish us when we're growing up it's the easiest
143:30 when we're growing up it's the easiest way to punish a person is to make them
143:32 way to punish a person is to make them feel bad so our parents make us feel bad
143:35 feel bad so our parents make us feel bad by physically punishing us or by
143:37 by physically punishing us or by verbally abusing us and punishment is a
143:39 verbally abusing us and punishment is a very good way to gain conformance
143:42 very good way to gain conformance punishment is a very good way to get
143:43 punishment is a very good way to get people to do what you want the second
143:45 people to do what you want the second reason why guilt is used when it's
143:47 reason why guilt is used when it's consciously practiced and some
143:49 consciously practiced and some organizations practice it consciously is
143:51 organizations practice it consciously is for control emotional control especially
143:54 for control emotional control especially because if you can emotionally control a
143:56 because if you can emotionally control a person with guilt you can manipulate
143:58 person with guilt you can manipulate their behavior and there are many
144:00 their behavior and there are many organizations that use guilt as a tool
144:03 organizations that use guilt as a tool of control and manipulation if you can
144:05 of control and manipulation if you can control people strongly enough
144:07 control people strongly enough especially emotionally you can get their
144:09 especially emotionally you can get their money you can get their time you can get
144:11 money you can get their time you can get their commitment you can demand their
144:12 their commitment you can demand their resources and so on and many
144:14 resources and so on and many organizations use punishment um use
144:16 organizations use punishment um use guilt as a tool for do many of the
144:18 guilt as a tool for do many of the Charities that advertise on television
144:20 Charities that advertise on television especially Charities for very needy
144:22 especially Charities for very needy causes involving children or disabled
144:24 causes involving children or disabled people use the feeling of guilt you're
144:27 people use the feeling of guilt you're doing so well you should feel guilty for
144:29 doing so well you should feel guilty for these people who are suffering therefore
144:31 these people who are suffering therefore send us some money and that will take
144:33 send us some money and that will take care of your guilt for a little while
144:35 care of your guilt for a little while until we get you on our mailing list and
144:39 until we get you on our mailing list and and so on so guilt is a standard why is
144:41 and so on so guilt is a standard why is it that guilt is so commonly used well
144:43 it that guilt is so commonly used well first of all because almost all of us
144:45 first of all because almost all of us have it to a greater or lesser degree
144:46 have it to a greater or lesser degree and number two it's easy guilt is the
144:48 and number two it's easy guilt is the easiest why do our parents use guilt on
144:50 easiest why do our parents use guilt on us why do our mothers use guilt on us
144:52 us why do our mothers use guilt on us because a mother can control us with
144:54 because a mother can control us with guilt across a crowded room she can
144:56 guilt across a crowded room she can control us over a th miles of telephone
144:58 control us over a th miles of telephone line parents can use guilt on their
145:01 line parents can use guilt on their children because their parents use guilt
145:03 children because their parents use guilt on them when their parents use guilt on
145:05 on them when their parents use guilt on them because it's the easiest there's no
145:06 them because it's the easiest there's no physical effort you can do it with a
145:08 physical effort you can do it with a look a glance and a word and people
145:10 look a glance and a word and people always do the easiest thing as you know
145:12 always do the easiest thing as you know so be alert to it now if you've been
145:14 so be alert to it now if you've been brought up in an environment where
145:16 brought up in an environment where you've been made to feel
145:19 you've been made to feel guilty and and almost all of us have you
145:21 guilty and and almost all of us have you must understand that guilt is like a
145:24 must understand that guilt is like a cesspool of negative emotional bacteria
145:27 cesspool of negative emotional bacteria that sits at the core or the root of
145:29 that sits at the core or the root of your psyche or your subconscious and it
145:32 your psyche or your subconscious and it Springs forth all other negative
145:34 Springs forth all other negative emotions anger hatred Envy resentment uh
145:37 emotions anger hatred Envy resentment uh uh frustration uh and uh doubt and fear
145:41 uh frustration uh and uh doubt and fear and so on and so forth it controls it it
145:43 and so on and so forth it controls it it creates them all and a way to really
145:46 creates them all and a way to really really get rid of that core is to excise
145:48 really get rid of that core is to excise it and cut it out completely so that's
145:50 it and cut it out completely so that's what we're going to do in the rest of
145:51 what we're going to do in the rest of this session first of all how can you
145:53 this session first of all how can you tell if you've been brought up with
145:55 tell if you've been brought up with feelings of guilt all right we'll call
145:57 feelings of guilt all right we'll call this the adult manifestations of
145:59 this the adult manifestations of guilt adult manifestations of guilt you
146:03 guilt adult manifestations of guilt you can tell and you can just test yourself
146:05 can tell and you can just test yourself how many of these do you
146:13 have number one adult manifestation of guilt is you have feelings of
146:19 inferiority feelings of inferiority feeling of
146:25 inadequacy and feelings of undeservingness in other words you don't
146:27 undeservingness in other words you don't feel that you deserve good things to
146:29 feel that you deserve good things to happen to
146:34 you if a person has been brought up with destructive criticism made to feel
146:35 destructive criticism made to feel guilty then when they do succeed even
146:38 guilty then when they do succeed even with tremendous effort later on in life
146:39 with tremendous effort later on in life they have a terrible tendency to feel
146:42 they have a terrible tendency to feel that they don't deserve it this is
146:43 that they don't deserve it this is called by the way fear of
146:45 called by the way fear of success fear of success is just another
146:48 success fear of success is just another way of saying that a person who has been
146:49 way of saying that a person who has been cond I condition to believe themselves
146:51 cond I condition to believe themselves to be unworthy or not good
146:53 to be unworthy or not good enough feels very very uncomfortable
146:56 enough feels very very uncomfortable when they experience success they feel
146:58 when they experience success they feel very very tense and uneasy as a matter
147:00 very very tense and uneasy as a matter of fact if they feel too much tension
147:02 of fact if they feel too much tension they'll start snorting coke drinking too
147:04 they'll start snorting coke drinking too much alcohol they'll engage in
147:05 much alcohol they'll engage in self-destructive behaviors they'll have
147:07 self-destructive behaviors they'll have a tremendous overwhelming feeling of
147:11 a tremendous overwhelming feeling of anxiety like somebody's going to find
147:13 anxiety like somebody's going to find them out there's a book in the book
147:14 them out there's a book in the book stands it says if I'm doing so well how
147:16 stands it says if I'm doing so well how come I feel like an impostor they have
147:19 come I feel like an impostor they have what is called the imposter Syndrome
147:21 what is called the imposter Syndrome have you ever been successful at
147:23 have you ever been successful at something and people come up to you and
147:24 something and people come up to you and say boy you did a great job at that or
147:26 say boy you did a great job at that or that's wonderful even if you had worked
147:28 that's wonderful even if you had worked hard hard hard at it and you felt like
147:31 hard hard hard at it and you felt like they were going to find you out you felt
147:33 they were going to find you out you felt like you know they would they would find
147:34 like you know they would they would find out that you weren't really that good
147:36 out that you weren't really that good that it was just a fluke it was just an
147:38 that it was just a fluke it was just an accident and of course that's what
147:39 accident and of course that's what people say they say it was just a fluke
147:40 people say they say it was just a fluke it was just an accident you know I don't
147:41 it was just an accident you know I don't know how it happened I'll blow it next
147:43 know how it happened I'll blow it next time they do everything possible to get
147:44 time they do everything possible to get away from this feeling of un inferiority
147:47 away from this feeling of un inferiority and undeservingness so be alert to that
147:50 and undeservingness so be alert to that now the
147:51 now the second adult manifestation of guilt is
147:54 second adult manifestation of guilt is destructive
148:04 from one of the poets that says those to whom evil is done do evil in return
148:06 whom evil is done do evil in return children at a very early age sometimes
148:08 children at a very early age sometimes at the age of two or three begin to run
148:09 at the age of two or three begin to run themselves down tear themselves down
148:11 themselves down tear themselves down even to hit themselves and pH physically
148:13 even to hit themselves and pH physically punish themselves if they're criticized
148:16 punish themselves if they're criticized enough they're always saying the
148:17 enough they're always saying the equivalent of I'm not good enough or I'm
148:19 equivalent of I'm not good enough or I'm not very good and they punish themselves
148:21 not very good and they punish themselves so destructive self-criticism is a real
148:24 so destructive self-criticism is a real symptom of an underlying feeling of
148:27 symptom of an underlying feeling of guilt and inadequacy number three is
148:30 guilt and inadequacy number three is easily manipulated by
148:32 easily manipulated by guilt people can pull your guilt strings
148:36 guilt people can pull your guilt strings very simple as a matter of fact we find
148:39 very simple as a matter of fact we find that there are two types of people in
148:40 that there are two types of people in the world there's guilt throwers and
148:42 the world there's guilt throwers and there's guilt catchers and these people
148:45 there's guilt catchers and these people are invariably attracted to each other
148:47 are invariably attracted to each other and of course the guilt thrower is the
148:49 and of course the guilt thrower is the person who I identified with a parent
148:50 person who I identified with a parent who threw the guilt the guilt catcher is
148:52 who threw the guilt the guilt catcher is the person who identified with a parent
148:54 the person who identified with a parent who caught the guilt but the guilt
148:56 who caught the guilt but the guilt throwers and the guilt catchers then get
148:57 throwers and the guilt catchers then get together uh they balance nicely they
149:00 together uh they balance nicely they settle down they raise new generations
149:02 settle down they raise new generations of little guilt throwers and guilt
149:03 of little guilt throwers and guilt catchers but you can tell that you're
149:05 catchers but you can tell that you're easily manipulated by guilt uh because
149:08 easily manipulated by guilt uh because you've been conditioned to be responded
149:10 you've been conditioned to be responded to your boss can pull your guilt string
149:12 to your boss can pull your guilt string a person on a bus can pull your guilt
149:13 a person on a bus can pull your guilt string the airline uh flight attendant
149:15 string the airline uh flight attendant can pull your guilt string and be very
149:17 can pull your guilt string and be very very alert to this the third
149:18 very alert to this the third manifestation or the fourth
149:20 manifestation or the fourth manifestation of guilt is that you use
149:22 manifestation of guilt is that you use it you use guilt and blame
149:26 it you use guilt and blame generously why well it's been worked on
149:29 generously why well it's been worked on you you work it on them I mean Fair
149:31 you you work it on them I mean Fair exchange is is a fair deal you use guilt
149:34 exchange is is a fair deal you use guilt and blame generously it becomes the
149:35 and blame generously it becomes the basis of your relationships with other
149:37 basis of your relationships with other people is when something goes wrong you
149:39 people is when something goes wrong you pin the wrap on them something goes
149:40 pin the wrap on them something goes wrong you blame someone instantly
149:41 wrong you blame someone instantly there's a problem you look around to see
149:43 there's a problem you look around to see who's to blame there's they did an
149:44 who's to blame there's they did an interesting
149:45 interesting experiment uh in Candid Camera a few
149:48 experiment uh in Candid Camera a few years ago where they took and they put a
149:50 years ago where they took and they put a patch of ice on a sidewalk where it
149:52 patch of ice on a sidewalk where it shouldn't be it wasn't that cold but
149:53 shouldn't be it wasn't that cold but they froze the ice and then they watched
149:55 they froze the ice and then they watched how people would react as they walked
149:57 how people would react as they walked along and they'd be walking along and
149:59 along and they'd be walking along and they'd hit this patch of ice and it and
150:01 they'd hit this patch of ice and it and they grab their balance and they thr
150:02 they grab their balance and they thr around the first thing they do is they
150:03 around the first thing they do is they look at the person closest to them and
150:05 look at the person closest to them and they glare at them as if they're Furious
150:07 they glare at them as if they're Furious in other words they looked at somebody
150:09 in other words they looked at somebody to blame now if there wasn't anybody
150:11 to blame now if there wasn't anybody within 10 or 15 ft they would get their
150:14 within 10 or 15 ft they would get their balance back again they look around
150:15 balance back again they look around there'd be nobody around them and they
150:17 there'd be nobody around them and they kick the ground and stomp on the ground
150:19 kick the ground and stomp on the ground and walk away you see our natural
150:20 and walk away you see our natural tendency whenever anything goes wrong is
150:23 tendency whenever anything goes wrong is to look for someone or something to
150:24 to look for someone or something to blame especially if we've been brought
150:25 blame especially if we've been brought up being blamed continuously and the
150:28 up being blamed continuously and the fifth manifestation is what is called
150:30 fifth manifestation is what is called victim
150:31 victim language now remember we talked about
150:33 language now remember we talked about the law of concentration says whatever
150:35 the law of concentration says whatever you dwell upon grows It also says that
150:37 you dwell upon grows It also says that if you use victim language you keep the
150:39 if you use victim language you keep the guilt alive you reinforce it you build
150:41 guilt alive you reinforce it you build it you grow it you fertilize it victim
150:43 it you grow it you fertilize it victim language is language like I can't I
150:46 language is language like I can't I can't I can't whenever you say I can't I
150:48 can't I can't whenever you say I can't I can't I can't you're sending a message
150:50 can't I can't you're sending a message to the subconscious mind the
150:52 to the subconscious mind the subconscious mind picks up that you are
150:54 subconscious mind picks up that you are helpless that you're not in control that
150:56 helpless that you're not in control that you're a victim and so when you actually
150:58 you're a victim and so when you actually come to want to do something the
150:59 come to want to do something the subconscious mind just feeds back your
151:01 subconscious mind just feeds back your own command and says you can't you can't
151:04 own command and says you can't you can't the second thing is you say I have to I
151:05 the second thing is you say I have to I have to again I have no control I'm not
151:08 have to again I have no control I'm not in charge but here's two other
151:10 in charge but here's two other expressions of victim language that you
151:11 expressions of victim language that you got to be careful of and it's this one
151:14 got to be careful of and it's this one I'll try I'll try whatever it is I'll
151:18 I'll try I'll try whatever it is I'll try what is the words I'll TR I mean
151:20 try what is the words I'll TR I mean well let me tell you what they mean they
151:22 well let me tell you what they mean they mean I'm going to fail and I'm telling
151:24 mean I'm going to fail and I'm telling you in advance so that you can't come
151:26 you in advance so that you can't come back on me in other words you say well
151:28 back on me in other words you say well I'll try to be there on time but what
151:30 I'll try to be there on time but what you're saying is I'll probably be late
151:32 you're saying is I'll probably be late and there's no point you can't come back
151:33 and there's no point you can't come back on me because I said I'd try whenever a
151:35 on me because I said I'd try whenever a person says I'll try they are excusing
151:38 person says I'll try they are excusing failure in advance if you went to the
151:41 failure in advance if you went to the doctor and the doctor did an examination
151:43 doctor and the doctor did an examination and checked you all over and looked at
151:44 and checked you all over and looked at you and came back and said well geez
151:45 you and came back and said well geez you're in terrible condition we're going
151:47 you're in terrible condition we're going to have to do triple bypass surgery and
151:48 to have to do triple bypass surgery and get you over to the hospital right now
151:50 get you over to the hospital right now I'm surprised you even made it in and
151:51 I'm surprised you even made it in and you say well geez doctor I sure hope
151:53 you say well geez doctor I sure hope you'll do a good job and he says I'll
151:55 you'll do a good job and he says I'll try and he says I'll try he said wait a
151:58 try and he says I'll try he said wait a second maybe I got to get a second
151:59 second maybe I got to get a second opinion you go to a lawyer you you're
152:01 opinion you go to a lawyer you you're charged with something you go to a
152:02 charged with something you go to a lawyer and you present your case to the
152:03 lawyer and you present your case to the lawyer say look will you defend me he
152:04 lawyer say look will you defend me he says I'll try what is he saying he's
152:07 says I'll try what is he saying he's saying look I've looked at the case and
152:09 saying look I've looked at the case and from what I see there's not much hope
152:11 from what I see there's not much hope but I'll take it on anyway I'll try and
152:12 but I'll take it on anyway I'll try and then they're the ones that try to get
152:13 then they're the ones that try to get you to pay in advance
152:15 you to pay in advance too another set of words that you
152:18 too another set of words that you mustn't use by the way with regard to
152:20 mustn't use by the way with regard to I'll try what you do is you say I'll do
152:21 I'll try what you do is you say I'll do it or I won't do it not I'll try if ever
152:24 it or I won't do it not I'll try if ever and in our business we run a very very
152:26 and in our business we run a very very active business whenever we call
152:28 active business whenever we call somebody up and we ask them can we get
152:30 somebody up and we ask them can we get this or that they say well I'll try to
152:32 this or that they say well I'll try to have it to you by Friday or I'll try to
152:34 have it to you by Friday or I'll try to get it done on time we instantly know
152:36 get it done on time we instantly know that they're telling us that their want
152:38 that they're telling us that their want off the hook they're not going to do it
152:40 off the hook they're not going to do it and so we never let anybody get away
152:41 and so we never let anybody get away with I'll try we say it has to be done
152:44 with I'll try we say it has to be done or not and we want a guarantee and if
152:46 or not and we want a guarantee and if necessary we'll go and pick it up but
152:48 necessary we'll go and pick it up but whenever they say I'll try what they're
152:49 whenever they say I'll try what they're doing is they SLU you off so be alert to
152:51 doing is they SLU you off so be alert to that and the other words are I
152:54 that and the other words are I wish I wish as they say is a desire or a
152:58 wish I wish as they say is a desire or a goal with no energy behind it I wish
153:01 goal with no energy behind it I wish what does I wish
153:03 what does I wish mean I wish means
153:08 mean I wish means that I would like to have something but
153:11 that I would like to have something but I know I never can when you say I wish I
153:14 I know I never can when you say I wish I could lose weight what does it mean the
153:16 could lose weight what does it mean the unspoken words are but I know I can't
153:20 unspoken words are but I know I can't why can't you because of the excuses
153:22 why can't you because of the excuses that you have and the metabolism that
153:25 that you have and the metabolism that you have and the problem and so on
153:26 you have and the problem and so on there's always reasons because you have
153:28 there's always reasons because you have to go out and so on I wish I could quit
153:29 to go out and so on I wish I could quit smoking I wish I could get fit I wish I
153:33 smoking I wish I could get fit I wish I wish I wish whenever you use the words I
153:35 wish I wish whenever you use the words I wish you signal to the subconscious that
153:37 wish you signal to the subconscious that this is something that you do not
153:39 this is something that you do not believe it's possible for you to achieve
153:41 believe it's possible for you to achieve or acquire the subconscious then
153:43 or acquire the subconscious then completely discards it as a goal and
153:45 completely discards it as a goal and gives you no energy no motivation no
153:48 gives you no energy no motivation no drive no desire to accomplish it so be
153:51 drive no desire to accomplish it so be very very alert to victim language be
153:53 very very alert to victim language be alert to the expression yes but oh I do
153:56 alert to the expression yes but oh I do it yes but or someone says why don't you
153:59 it yes but or someone says why don't you do this you say yes but the word but by
154:02 do this you say yes but the word but by the way is the great ER eraser when a
154:04 the way is the great ER eraser when a person says you know you could you could
154:05 person says you know you could you could certainly increase your income or
154:06 certainly increase your income or increase your output or be a better
154:08 increase your output or be a better person or happier or lose weight or
154:10 person or happier or lose weight or whatever else have happened to be and
154:11 whatever else have happened to be and you say yes but what you're saying is
154:13 you say yes but what you're saying is you're erasing the whole statement that
154:16 you're erasing the whole statement that has gone before you send a message to
154:18 has gone before you send a message to your subconscious that says
154:20 your subconscious that says no possibility make no effort Focus no
154:23 no possibility make no effort Focus no energy commit no capacity to the
154:26 energy commit no capacity to the accomplishment of this goal so people
154:28 accomplishment of this goal so people who've been brought up feeling guilty
154:30 who've been brought up feeling guilty have five qualities or five adult
154:32 have five qualities or five adult manifestations one is they feel inferior
154:35 manifestations one is they feel inferior they feel inadequate they feel like they
154:37 they feel inadequate they feel like they don't deserve good things to happen to
154:39 don't deserve good things to happen to them you're very alert to that number
154:41 them you're very alert to that number two is they run themselves down
154:44 two is they run themselves down continually they use destructive
154:45 continually they use destructive self-criticism number three is they use
154:47 self-criticism number three is they use guilt and blame on themselves and and on
154:50 guilt and blame on themselves and and on others number four is they're easily
154:52 others number four is they're easily manipulated by guilt number five they
154:54 manipulated by guilt number five they use victim language so let's go and say
154:55 use victim language so let's go and say how do we get rid of
154:57 how do we get rid of guilt isn't it amazing how this board
154:59 guilt isn't it amazing how this board just clears isn't that amazing it's it's
155:01 just clears isn't that amazing it's it's absolutely Vanishing we have a sort of a
155:03 absolutely Vanishing we have a sort of a magic W that we wave when I go over and
155:05 magic W that we wave when I go over and sit on that desk okay how do we rid
155:07 sit on that desk okay how do we rid ourselves of guilt ridding yourself of
155:17 guilt here's the process it's got a few really critical
155:21 process it's got a few really critical steps number one top of the list
155:24 steps number one top of the list eliminate destructive
155:26 eliminate destructive self-criticism eliminate destructive
155:34 self-criticism in other words never say anything destructively critical about
155:36 anything destructively critical about yourself just don't say it here's the
155:39 yourself just don't say it here's the basic rule since your subconscious
155:40 basic rule since your subconscious accepts whatever you say as true as
155:42 accepts whatever you say as true as being a command what you do is you don't
155:45 being a command what you do is you don't say anything about yourself that you do
155:47 say anything about yourself that you do not sincerely desire to be true don't
155:49 not sincerely desire to be true don't say I'm fat I'm tired don't say I can't
155:53 say I'm fat I'm tired don't say I can't or I have to don't say anything unless
155:55 or I have to don't say anything unless you want it to be true remember the
155:56 you want it to be true remember the words that come after the word I are the
155:59 words that come after the word I are the words that your subconscious records as
156:01 words that your subconscious records as commands except for when you say I wish
156:03 commands except for when you say I wish or I'll try so eliminate destructive
156:06 or I'll try so eliminate destructive self-criticism only speak in positive
156:08 self-criticism only speak in positive terms about yourself I like myself I
156:10 terms about yourself I like myself I like myself I can do it I will do it I
156:12 like myself I can do it I will do it I choose to do it but not I can't or or so
156:15 choose to do it but not I can't or or so on number two
156:17 on number two is refuse to be manipulated by
156:21 is refuse to be manipulated by guilt refuse to be manipulated by
156:30 guilt because every time you allow somebody to manipulate you by guilt you
156:33 somebody to manipulate you by guilt you know what happens you reinforce and make
156:35 know what happens you reinforce and make stronger the effect or the influence of
156:38 stronger the effect or the influence of guilt in your life now when I grew up I
156:41 guilt in your life now when I grew up I grew up in a family that was greatly
156:44 grew up in a family that was greatly influenced by negative religion as a
156:46 influenced by negative religion as a matter of fact my mother uh God bless
156:48 matter of fact my mother uh God bless her had a black belt in guilts and she
156:50 her had a black belt in guilts and she did a superb superb job on it and I took
156:53 did a superb superb job on it and I took me years to get over it when I got
156:54 me years to get over it when I got married to Barbara she'd also come from
156:56 married to Barbara she'd also come from the same sort of family so we have to
156:58 the same sort of family so we have to come back and we have a beautiful
157:00 come back and we have a beautiful response whenever one of the other of us
157:02 response whenever one of the other of us falls back into Old patterns we say
157:04 falls back into Old patterns we say you're not trying to make me feel guilty
157:05 you're not trying to make me feel guilty are you you're not trying to make me
157:07 are you you're not trying to make me feel guilty are you that's a beautiful
157:09 feel guilty are you that's a beautiful way to do it just say you're not trying
157:10 way to do it just say you're not trying to make me feel guilty are you and
157:11 to make me feel guilty are you and refuse to let people manipulate you
157:13 refuse to let people manipulate you using guilt number
157:15 using guilt number three is refuse to use guilt and blame
157:19 three is refuse to use guilt and blame and announce that you're not going to
157:21 and announce that you're not going to that you're not going to use
157:28 it refuse to use it on other people and make let your children and let your
157:30 make let your children and let your spouse say the same thing you're not
157:31 spouse say the same thing you're not trying to make me feel guilty are you
157:32 trying to make me feel guilty are you and just keep repeating it over and over
157:33 and just keep repeating it over and over again I say well and sometimes they say
157:35 again I say well and sometimes they say yes I am you say well it's not going to
157:37 yes I am you say well it's not going to work it's not going to work anymore you
157:39 work it's not going to work anymore you see Guilt only works as long as you
157:42 see Guilt only works as long as you don't know that it's being used on you
157:44 don't know that it's being used on you number four
157:50 is what we call the law of
157:53 law of forgiveness this is the most important
157:55 forgiveness this is the most important of all it's really the core it's the
157:57 of all it's really the core it's the guts of this whole session the law of
158:00 guts of this whole session the law of forgiveness simply says that you are
158:02 forgiveness simply says that you are mentally healthy to the degree to which
158:04 mentally healthy to the degree to which you can freely forgive and forget
158:07 you can freely forgive and forget grievances against you that your ability
158:10 grievances against you that your ability to forgive others is the key determinant
158:12 to forgive others is the key determinant of your happiness and SEC success in
158:14 of your happiness and SEC success in life your ability to to forgive others
158:16 life your ability to to forgive others is the key way to eliminate guilt your
158:18 is the key way to eliminate guilt your willingness to forgive others and to let
158:20 willingness to forgive others and to let go past grievances is the single most
158:23 go past grievances is the single most important determinant of whether or not
158:24 important determinant of whether or not you are a fully integrated fully
158:26 you are a fully integrated fully functioning adult human being because
158:29 functioning adult human being because the tendency to blame and to hold
158:31 the tendency to blame and to hold grudges is a childlike pathological
158:34 grudges is a childlike pathological tendency that is possessed by all people
158:36 tendency that is possessed by all people who are mentally ill the ability to let
158:39 who are mentally ill the ability to let go of grudges to forgive freely is the
158:41 go of grudges to forgive freely is the mark of the truly enlightened human
158:44 mark of the truly enlightened human being now you accept that as true
158:46 being now you accept that as true there's four people that you have to
158:47 there's four people that you have to forgive number one is forgive your
158:50 forgive number one is forgive your parents forgive your parents for
158:53 parents forgive your parents for everything that they've ever done that
158:54 everything that they've ever done that hurts you most of our research shows
158:56 hurts you most of our research shows that almost all of our adult problems
158:58 that almost all of our adult problems Trace back to being unwilling or unable
159:00 Trace back to being unwilling or unable to forgive our parents something that
159:02 to forgive our parents something that they did that hurt us forgive them 100%
159:05 they did that hurt us forgive them 100% write to them telephone them tell them
159:08 write to them telephone them tell them or at the very least forgive them in
159:09 or at the very least forgive them in your heart but forgive your parents
159:12 your heart but forgive your parents number two is forgive others forgive
159:15 number two is forgive others forgive everyone else forgive everyone who has
159:17 everyone else forgive everyone who has ever hurt you in any way for anything
159:21 ever hurt you in any way for anything just let it go now some people say well
159:23 just let it go now some people say well I can't forgive that person because what
159:24 I can't forgive that person because what a terrible thing they did to me remember
159:26 a terrible thing they did to me remember this that forgiveness is perfectly
159:28 this that forgiveness is perfectly selfish for forgiveness has nothing
159:31 selfish for forgiveness has nothing whatever to
159:32 whatever to do with the other person it has only to
159:35 do with the other person it has only to do with your peace of mind and with your
159:37 do with your peace of mind and with your assuring your own mental Integrity
159:39 assuring your own mental Integrity number three forgive yourself forgive
159:42 number three forgive yourself forgive yourself for every Wicked senseless
159:44 yourself for every Wicked senseless brainless fully stupid thing you ever
159:46 brainless fully stupid thing you ever did because every single person has done
159:48 did because every single person has done Wicked senseless brainless foolish
159:50 Wicked senseless brainless foolish ridiculous things but forgive yourself
159:53 ridiculous things but forgive yourself 100% And finally the last part of this
159:56 100% And finally the last part of this is if you have done something to hurt
159:59 is if you have done something to hurt someone else go and
160:02 someone else go and apologize it's amazing how many lives
160:04 apologize it's amazing how many lives are ruined year after year by people who
160:07 are ruined year after year by people who do not have the intestinal fortitude the
160:10 do not have the intestinal fortitude the guts the courage to go and say I'm sorry
160:14 guts the courage to go and say I'm sorry one of the most important things in life
160:15 one of the most important things in life is to develop character we develop
160:18 is to develop character we develop character to the degree to which we do
160:19 character to the degree to which we do things which are hard for us to which
160:21 things which are hard for us to which the degree to which we do things which
160:23 the degree to which we do things which we know are right even though they're
160:25 we know are right even though they're difficult and especially when they're
160:26 difficult and especially when they're difficult emotionally and the key to
160:29 difficult emotionally and the key to getting rid of guilt the key to being a
160:32 getting rid of guilt the key to being a totally fully functioning person is to
160:34 totally fully functioning person is to forgive others forgive people that
160:36 forgive others forgive people that you've been in relationships with
160:38 you've been in relationships with forgive previous employers forgive
160:40 forgive previous employers forgive friends who've hurt you forget forgive
160:42 friends who've hurt you forget forgive Investments that went wrong forgive
160:44 Investments that went wrong forgive bosses that fired you forgive your
160:46 bosses that fired you forgive your parents forgive everybody develop an
160:49 parents forgive everybody develop an attitude toward life that you refuse to
160:51 attitude toward life that you refuse to hold a grudge against anybody just
160:54 hold a grudge against anybody just repeat over and over again I forgive him
160:56 repeat over and over again I forgive him or her for everything I forgive him or
160:59 or her for everything I forgive him or her for everything I forgive them for
161:01 her for everything I forgive them for everything and Let It Go the key to
161:04 everything and Let It Go the key to freeing yourself from negative emotions
161:07 freeing yourself from negative emotions is to absolutely refuse to carry any
161:09 is to absolutely refuse to carry any negativity forward remember it's a
161:12 negativity forward remember it's a perfectly selfish act you can be as
161:14 perfectly selfish act you can be as selfish as you want the act of
161:16 selfish as you want the act of forgiveness frees you and liberates the
161:18 forgiveness frees you and liberates the other person and guarantees that you
161:20 other person and guarantees that you will move rapidly toward the Fulfillment
161:23 will move rapidly toward the Fulfillment of your
161:35 potential session eight the worry buster one of the great aims of life is to
161:36 one of the great aims of life is to achieve your own peace of mind and the
161:38 achieve your own peace of mind and the reason why so few people have peace of
161:40 reason why so few people have peace of mind is because they don't set it as an
161:42 mind is because they don't set it as an important enough goal and if they do
161:44 important enough goal and if they do they don't take the time to understand
161:46 they don't take the time to understand what stands between them and peace of
161:48 what stands between them and peace of mind now we talk talked earlier about
161:50 mind now we talk talked earlier about one of the major obstacles or major
161:52 one of the major obstacles or major pairs of obstacles are negative habit
161:54 pairs of obstacles are negative habit patterns the fear of failure the fear of
161:56 patterns the fear of failure the fear of rejection those Rob us of an enormous
161:59 rejection those Rob us of an enormous amount of peace of mind we also talked
162:01 amount of peace of mind we also talked about feelings of guilt feelings of
162:03 about feelings of guilt feelings of inadequacy feelings of worthlessness
162:05 inadequacy feelings of worthlessness feelings of undeserving and so on they
162:07 feelings of undeserving and so on they also Rob us of peace of mind and I want
162:10 also Rob us of peace of mind and I want to talk in this session about the last
162:12 to talk in this session about the last if you like key to this discussion on
162:15 if you like key to this discussion on negative emotions what we call negative
162:18 negative emotions what we call negative imagination now the word negative
162:20 imagination now the word negative imagination comes from an extensive body
162:22 imagination comes from an extensive body of literature that was written at the
162:23 of literature that was written at the beginning of of the century but they
162:25 beginning of of the century but they found that negative imagination is
162:28 found that negative imagination is something that we create in
162:32 something that we create in ourselves that causes us an enormous
162:34 ourselves that causes us an enormous amount of of of of stress and distress
162:37 amount of of of of stress and distress if you like negative imagination creates
162:41 if you like negative imagination creates fear and one of the best definitions of
162:43 fear and one of the best definitions of fear that I've seen lately is what is
162:45 fear that I've seen lately is what is called
162:46 called fantasized experiences appearing real
162:52 fantasized experiences appearing real fantasized experiences appearing real in
162:55 fantasized experiences appearing real in other words these are experiences which
162:57 other words these are experiences which we create in our minds and our
163:03 imaginations and we dwell upon them and the more we dwell upon them the more
163:05 the more we dwell upon them the more real they become to us it's like I have
163:07 real they become to us it's like I have three little children and if I let them
163:09 three little children and if I let them watch a scary movie even if they insist
163:11 watch a scary movie even if they insist upon it they begin to feel that there
163:13 upon it they begin to feel that there are scary creatures under their beds and
163:15 are scary creatures under their beds and in their cupboards and so on is these
163:17 in their cupboards and so on is these fantasized experiences become real and
163:19 fantasized experiences become real and at one time with little Michael we
163:21 at one time with little Michael we couldn't get him to sleep in his bedroom
163:23 couldn't get him to sleep in his bedroom at all because he was convinced that
163:24 at all because he was convinced that there were monsters in there what do we
163:26 there were monsters in there what do we call negative imagination well another
163:28 call negative imagination well another word for it is
163:30 word for it is worry worry is a sustained form of fear
163:35 worry worry is a sustained form of fear caused by indecision worry is a
163:38 caused by indecision worry is a sustained form of fear caused by
163:41 sustained form of fear caused by indecision now what does that mean it
163:44 indecision now what does that mean it means that when we make decisions we do
163:47 means that when we make decisions we do away with worry study was done some
163:49 away with worry study was done some years ago where many thousands of people
163:52 years ago where many thousands of people were surveyed and asked what were they
163:54 were surveyed and asked what were they worrying about at the current time and
163:56 worrying about at the current time and they accumulated it all up and they
163:57 they accumulated it all up and they found this is what people worry about
163:59 found this is what people worry about 40% of the worries that people
164:02 40% of the worries that people had were things that never
164:06 had were things that never happened when they went back later they
164:09 happened when they went back later they found that the things they were worried
164:10 found that the things they were worried about would never happen they were going
164:11 about would never happen they were going to be late or they lose the job or they
164:14 to be late or they lose the job or they uh wouldn't work out on a date or
164:15 uh wouldn't work out on a date or relationship the 30 next figure 30% were
164:19 relationship the 30 next figure 30% were things that were in the past that had
164:21 things that were in the past that had already happened and nothing could be
164:22 already happened and nothing could be done about there were 12% of
164:25 done about there were 12% of worries were worries about health in
164:28 worries were worries about health in most cases needless wor needless worries
164:31 most cases needless wor needless worries I thought that they had a pain or an
164:33 I thought that they had a pain or an illness or an ailment or something else
164:34 illness or an ailment or something else it didn't turn out to be true 10% of the
164:36 it didn't turn out to be true 10% of the things people worried about were Petty
164:38 things people worried about were Petty worries they were worried about whether
164:40 worries they were worried about whether or not they had enough change in the
164:41 or not they had enough change in the parking meter whether or not um someone
164:44 parking meter whether or not um someone would phone them really irrelevant
164:46 would phone them really irrelevant worries only
164:47 worries only 8% of the
164:49 8% of the worries were about anything substantial
164:52 worries were about anything substantial at all and of those 8% half or 4% were
164:57 at all and of those 8% half or 4% were totally outside the control of the
164:58 totally outside the control of the person they were worried about whether
164:59 person they were worried about whether red China would uh invade Northern
165:02 red China would uh invade Northern Vietnam and things like that think the
165:03 Vietnam and things like that think the things that the person could have
165:04 things that the person could have nothing to do about anyway so basically
165:06 nothing to do about anyway so basically the research shows that as much as
165:10 the research shows that as much as 96% of everything that we worry about or
165:13 96% of everything that we worry about or more is irrelevant it never happens it's
165:17 more is irrelevant it never happens it's not worth worrying about at all but
165:18 not worth worrying about at all but where does worry come from well worry
165:20 where does worry come from well worry comes from a worry mentality as a matter
165:21 comes from a worry mentality as a matter of fact if you were brought up in a
165:23 of fact if you were brought up in a family where your mother or father was a
165:24 family where your mother or father was a worrier they worried all the time then
165:25 worrier they worried all the time then you're probably a worrier too it's a
165:27 you're probably a worrier too it's a it's a conditioned response you saw them
165:29 it's a conditioned response you saw them worrying you want to be like your mommy
165:31 worrying you want to be like your mommy and daddy because they're the most
165:32 and daddy because they're the most important people in your world so you
165:34 important people in your world so you worry too and I've seen little kids four
165:35 worry too and I've seen little kids four and five years old that are really good
165:37 and five years old that are really good accomplished worriors and they and their
165:39 accomplished worriors and they and their parents will sit together and worry and
165:41 parents will sit together and worry and worry even though there's nothing
165:42 worry even though there's nothing involved but it's fantasized experiences
165:45 involved but it's fantasized experiences appearing real our job is to eliminate
165:49 appearing real our job is to eliminate and I'd like to give you two or three
165:51 and I'd like to give you two or three simple ideas that you can use number one
165:54 simple ideas that you can use number one which is one of the most popular of all
165:56 which is one of the most popular of all is just simply this it's live one day at
165:58 is just simply this it's live one day at a time live one day at a
166:02 a time live one day at a time is don't worry about might might
166:05 time is don't worry about might might happen tomorrow don't worry about what
166:07 happen tomorrow don't worry about what may happen a year from now or 6 months
166:09 may happen a year from now or 6 months from now just do the very best you can
166:11 from now just do the very best you can right now there's a beautiful line from
166:13 right now there's a beautiful line from Teddy Roosevelt he said something to the
166:15 Teddy Roosevelt he said something to the effect that do what you can where you
166:18 effect that do what you can where you are with what you have and don't worry
166:20 are with what you have and don't worry about the rest do what you can where you
166:23 about the rest do what you can where you are with what you have and don't worry
166:26 are with what you have and don't worry about the rest live one day at a time
166:28 about the rest live one day at a time just worry about getting through today
166:29 just worry about getting through today and taking care of today and as the
166:31 and taking care of today and as the Bible says let the tomorrow take care of
166:34 Bible says let the tomorrow take care of itself sufficient unto the day are the
166:35 itself sufficient unto the day are the are the cares thereof number two key to
166:39 are the cares thereof number two key to dealing with worry and I have a an
166:40 dealing with worry and I have a an enormous number of challenges that I
166:42 enormous number of challenges that I face in my business life is get the
166:45 face in my business life is get the facts this is so important get the facts
166:49 facts this is so important get the facts not the apparent facts not the quick
166:52 not the apparent facts not the quick facts not the facts that seem obvious
166:55 facts not the facts that seem obvious but get the real facts take the time to
166:59 but get the real facts take the time to look into a situation and find out what
167:02 look into a situation and find out what the real truth of the matter is I have
167:04 the real truth of the matter is I have found that most worry situations
167:07 found that most worry situations evaporate if you get enough facts you
167:09 evaporate if you get enough facts you hear that somebody has done something or
167:11 hear that somebody has done something or not done something you hear about a
167:13 not done something you hear about a change in your business or your personal
167:14 change in your business or your personal life or change in one of your
167:15 life or change in one of your relationships find out call the person
167:19 relationships find out call the person find find from the right information
167:21 find find from the right information Source the answer and you'll often find
167:24 Source the answer and you'll often find that the facts eliminate the worry most
167:27 that the facts eliminate the worry most people who worry are people who would
167:28 people who worry are people who would much rather worry than take the time to
167:31 much rather worry than take the time to ask and find out what exactly is going
167:35 ask and find out what exactly is going on ask people do your research do your
167:38 on ask people do your research do your reading do your homework get the facts
167:40 reading do your homework get the facts one of the most
167:42 one of the most important requirements by the way for
167:44 important requirements by the way for your success in business or any other
167:46 your success in business or any other thing any other field of endeavor is to
167:48 thing any other field of endeavor is to get the facts that you need so that your
167:51 get the facts that you need so that your answers are accurate and up to date now
167:53 answers are accurate and up to date now the third method is what I call the
167:56 the third method is what I call the worry Buster the worry Buster is a word
167:58 worry Buster the worry Buster is a word or an expression that came from one of
168:00 or an expression that came from one of our graduates he said this expression
168:02 our graduates he said this expression literally saved his business and saved
168:04 literally saved his business and saved his mental health it's one of the
168:06 his mental health it's one of the simplest of all techniques and it is
168:08 simplest of all techniques and it is just Dynamite it consists of four steps
168:11 just Dynamite it consists of four steps all right step number one is when you
168:14 all right step number one is when you have something on your mind Define it
168:16 have something on your mind Define it clearly in writing
168:18 clearly in writing Define it clearly in
168:22 Define it clearly in writing sit down take the time to write
168:26 writing sit down take the time to write it out and say what exactly is it that
168:29 it out and say what exactly is it that I'm worried about and sit down and write
168:30 I'm worried about and sit down and write it out I am worried about this and
168:33 it out I am worried about this and describe the situation exactly the way
168:35 describe the situation exactly the way you see it in medicine they say that
168:37 you see it in medicine they say that accurate diagnosis is 50% of the Cure
168:41 accurate diagnosis is 50% of the Cure accurate diagnosis defining it clearly
168:43 accurate diagnosis defining it clearly in writing is 50% of the Cure now an
168:46 in writing is 50% of the Cure now an important Point here is sometimes when
168:48 important Point here is sometimes when you have seems to be an overwhelming
168:50 you have seems to be an overwhelming problem you have more than one problem
168:52 problem you have more than one problem you have what is called a cluster
168:54 you have what is called a cluster situation where you have two or three or
168:56 situation where you have two or three or four problems all together if you define
168:58 four problems all together if you define it clearly in writing sometimes you can
169:00 it clearly in writing sometimes you can write it out 1 2 3 4 that there are
169:03 write it out 1 2 3 4 that there are several little problems that are all
169:06 several little problems that are all together that are worrying you and
169:08 together that are worrying you and sometimes if you eliminate one of those
169:10 sometimes if you eliminate one of those difficulties the rest of them evaporate
169:13 difficulties the rest of them evaporate sometimes one of a one problem in a
169:15 sometimes one of a one problem in a cluster of problems is the key and all
169:19 cluster of problems is the key and all the others become irrelevant so be alert
169:20 the others become irrelevant so be alert to that but Define it clearly in writing
169:22 to that but Define it clearly in writing number two is once you define it clearly
169:25 number two is once you define it clearly this is the key determine the worst
169:27 this is the key determine the worst possible
169:28 possible outcome determine the worst possible
169:31 outcome determine the worst possible outcome in other words ask
169:33 outcome in other words ask yourself what is the worst possible
169:36 yourself what is the worst possible thing that could happen as a result of
169:38 thing that could happen as a result of this
169:39 this situation left to itself if the worst
169:41 situation left to itself if the worst happened what would it be determine the
169:43 happened what would it be determine the worst possible outcome now an
169:45 worst possible outcome now an interesting thing happens here we find
169:47 interesting thing happens here we find that in worry we are not worried or
169:51 that in worry we are not worried or stressed by the event an event does not
169:53 stressed by the event an event does not trouble us what troubles us is
169:56 trouble us what troubles us is anticipation of an event and the
169:59 anticipation of an event and the resistance that we put up
170:01 resistance that we put up psychologically wishing hoping praying
170:03 psychologically wishing hoping praying that it doesn't take place if
170:06 that it doesn't take place if psychologically we determine the worst
170:08 psychologically we determine the worst possible outcome in writing and you say
170:10 possible outcome in writing and you say the worst possible thing that can happen
170:12 the worst possible thing that can happen is this and we make it concrete and we
170:15 is this and we make it concrete and we put it down on paper you will find a
170:17 put it down on paper you will find a remarkable thing you're worries
170:19 remarkable thing you're worries disappear they just seem to evaporate as
170:22 disappear they just seem to evaporate as soon as we Define the worst possible
170:23 soon as we Define the worst possible outcome the stress comes from not
170:26 outcome the stress comes from not wanting to face what it could be we talk
170:28 wanting to face what it could be we talk about this later but it's the
170:29 about this later but it's the psychological phenomena of denial we
170:32 psychological phenomena of denial we deny we don't want to put off for
170:33 deny we don't want to put off for instance you have an
170:34 instance you have an investment and the investment is getting
170:37 investment and the investment is getting worse and worse so you have to say to
170:38 worse and worse so you have to say to yourself what's the worst thing that can
170:39 yourself what's the worst thing that can happen with this investment and the
170:41 happen with this investment and the worst thing is that you lose it all once
170:43 worst thing is that you lose it all once you say I lose it all suddenly you're
170:46 you say I lose it all suddenly you're not so worried about it anymore because
170:48 not so worried about it anymore because you know it just may happen the third
170:51 you know it just may happen the third step or let me go back a second with
170:53 step or let me go back a second with regard to a relationship sometimes we're
170:55 regard to a relationship sometimes we're in a relationship that's very unhappy
170:57 in a relationship that's very unhappy and we say what's the worst thing that
170:58 and we say what's the worst thing that can happen here the worst thing that can
171:00 can happen here the worst thing that can happen here is that you lose the
171:01 happen here is that you lose the relationship the relationship disappears
171:03 relationship the relationship disappears then you have to ask yourself will that
171:05 then you have to ask yourself will that kill me will the in loss of the
171:08 kill me will the in loss of the investment kill me will the loss of the
171:09 investment kill me will the loss of the job kill me will the loss of the
171:11 job kill me will the loss of the relationship kill me and the answer of
171:12 relationship kill me and the answer of course is no you will recover from the
171:14 course is no you will recover from the loss of almost anything so number three
171:17 loss of almost anything so number three by the way there are many people who get
171:19 by the way there are many people who get and have the signs of cancer but they
171:21 and have the signs of cancer but they won't go to a doctor because they don't
171:22 won't go to a doctor because they don't want to know the stress of not knowing
171:25 want to know the stress of not knowing actually exacerbates the course of the
171:27 actually exacerbates the course of the disease and finally when they do have to
171:29 disease and finally when they do have to go to a doctor it's gone so far the
171:31 go to a doctor it's gone so far the doctor can't save them but the stress of
171:33 doctor can't save them but the stress of not facing the possibility keeps them
171:35 not facing the possibility keeps them away from a doctor long past the point
171:37 away from a doctor long past the point where a doctor could help them number
171:38 where a doctor could help them number three is resolve to accept the worst
171:41 three is resolve to accept the worst should it
171:42 should it occur resolve to accept the worst should
171:46 occur resolve to accept the worst should it occur
171:48 it occur this is not passive and this is not
171:51 this is not passive and this is not fatalistic just say if nothing could be
171:54 fatalistic just say if nothing could be done and this were to
171:56 done and this were to happen I will accept it I have a saying
172:00 happen I will accept it I have a saying which I use that that is what cannot be
172:02 which I use that that is what cannot be cured must be endured what cannot be
172:04 cured must be endured what cannot be cured must be endured so you say well
172:06 cured must be endured so you say well all right if this happens I'll accept it
172:08 all right if this happens I'll accept it and I'll learn to live with it I'm not
172:10 and I'll learn to live with it I'm not going to let it break me I'm not going
172:11 going to let it break me I'm not going to let it kill me and then number four
172:14 to let it kill me and then number four is begin immediately to improve upon the
172:16 is begin immediately to improve upon the worst begin
172:19 worst begin immediately to improve upon the
172:22 immediately to improve upon the worst what does that mean it means you
172:24 worst what does that mean it means you now accepted that it might
172:27 now accepted that it might happen and you've now decided that you
172:29 happen and you've now decided that you will live with it should it occur and
172:32 will live with it should it occur and now you do everything you possibly can
172:34 now you do everything you possibly can to work back and make sure that the
172:35 to work back and make sure that the worst doesn't occur in business by the
172:37 worst doesn't occur in business by the way this is called the Minimax regret
172:39 way this is called the Minimax regret analysis it's minimizing the maximum
172:43 analysis it's minimizing the maximum regret in other words it's saying what
172:45 regret in other words it's saying what is the worst thing that can happen and
172:47 is the worst thing that can happen and how can I minimize that maximum regret
172:50 how can I minimize that maximum regret this Minimax technique is a tremendous
172:51 this Minimax technique is a tremendous technique because it clears your mind
172:53 technique because it clears your mind considerably it's and one of the best
172:55 considerably it's and one of the best ways to use it is this really neat
172:57 ways to use it is this really neat method take a piece of paper draw a line
172:59 method take a piece of paper draw a line down the center and a line across the
173:01 down the center and a line across the top and then work down the page and WR
173:03 top and then work down the page and WR on this side write wpo I'm sorry no
173:06 on this side write wpo I'm sorry no right right on this page your definition
173:08 right right on this page your definition in other words this is a clear
173:10 in other words this is a clear definition of what's bothering you on
173:12 definition of what's bothering you on the top of this page you write wpo worst
173:15 the top of this page you write wpo worst possible outcome and then you write one
173:17 possible outcome and then you write one and you say I'm worried about this and
173:18 and you say I'm worried about this and you write it out clearly and then you
173:19 you write it out clearly and then you write one you say the worst possible
173:21 write one you say the worst possible outcome is this two I'm worried about
173:23 outcome is this two I'm worried about this two worst possible outcome is this
173:26 this two worst possible outcome is this and so on you'll find that every single
173:28 and so on you'll find that every single time you do this the problem just
173:30 time you do this the problem just evaporates and most not all of course
173:32 evaporates and most not all of course but most of the stress or strain
173:34 but most of the stress or strain disappear as your mind goes clear and
173:36 disappear as your mind goes clear and with a clear mind you can then deal with
173:38 with a clear mind you can then deal with it effectively now the final point with
173:41 it effectively now the final point with regard to this whole idea of worry and
173:43 regard to this whole idea of worry and negative imagination is what is the
173:46 negative imagination is what is the antidote what is the antidote anote to
173:49 antidote what is the antidote anote to worry what do you think it is well it's
173:52 worry what do you think it is well it's simply this it is purposeful action the
173:55 simply this it is purposeful action the only real antidote to worry is
173:57 only real antidote to worry is purposeful action everything that gets
173:59 purposeful action everything that gets you to the point where you can take
174:01 you to the point where you can take purposeful action where you can move and
174:04 purposeful action where you can move and as Shakespeare says take arms against
174:06 as Shakespeare says take arms against the Sea of troubles and by so doing end
174:08 the Sea of troubles and by so doing end them anything that gets you to the point
174:10 them anything that gets you to the point where you can take purposeful action
174:12 where you can take purposeful action will eliminate the worry why because of
174:15 will eliminate the worry why because of what we call the law of substitution you
174:17 what we call the law of substitution you cannot be working on a problem or a
174:21 cannot be working on a problem or a situation and thinking and acting
174:25 situation and thinking and acting purposefully to resolve it and still
174:27 purposefully to resolve it and still worry about it simultaneously worry
174:29 worry about it simultaneously worry almost always comes when you have too
174:31 almost always comes when you have too much time on your hands worry is a form
174:35 much time on your hands worry is a form of negative goal setting remember we
174:37 of negative goal setting remember we talked about the law of concentration
174:39 talked about the law of concentration says whatever you dwell upon grows well
174:42 says whatever you dwell upon grows well whenever you have a worry situation what
174:45 whenever you have a worry situation what do you find yourself doing what you find
174:47 do you find yourself doing what you find yourself doing is thinking about talking
174:50 yourself doing is thinking about talking about dwelling upon vividly imagining
174:53 about dwelling upon vividly imagining exactly what you don't want by the law
174:55 exactly what you don't want by the law of expectations says whatever you expect
174:57 of expectations says whatever you expect will come into your life that which I
174:59 will come into your life that which I greatly feared has come upon me is what
175:01 greatly feared has come upon me is what it says in the Book of Job or the law of
175:03 it says in the Book of Job or the law of attraction says you will attract into
175:05 attraction says you will attract into your life the people and circumstances
175:06 your life the people and circumstances in harmony with your dominant thoughts
175:09 in harmony with your dominant thoughts the reason why we're taking a whole
175:10 the reason why we're taking a whole module to talk about worry is this is
175:12 module to talk about worry is this is that there are some people who don't
175:14 that there are some people who don't worry about anything this method by the
175:17 worry about anything this method by the way
175:19 way of determining the worry worst possible
175:21 of determining the worry worst possible outcome the worry Buster is also a
175:23 outcome the worry Buster is also a tremendous method for decision-making
175:25 tremendous method for decision-making when you go into any situation where you
175:27 when you go into any situation where you have to make a decision one way or
175:29 have to make a decision one way or another the first question you should
175:30 another the first question you should sit and ask once you've analyzed it is
175:32 sit and ask once you've analyzed it is what's the worst thing that can happen I
175:34 what's the worst thing that can happen I remember the great J Paul Getty who at
175:35 remember the great J Paul Getty who at one time was one of the richest men in
175:37 one time was one of the richest men in the world said that this method of
175:39 the world said that this method of determining the worst possible
175:41 determining the worst possible downside was used by him as a
175:44 downside was used by him as a decision-making method into every
175:46 decision-making method into every business deal he went to what when what
175:48 business deal he went to what when what he would do is he would say no it's the
175:49 he would do is he would say no it's the worst thing that can happen and then he
175:50 worst thing that can happen and then he would make sure that the worst didn't
175:52 would make sure that the worst didn't happen so make the decision right now
175:55 happen so make the decision right now that you're going to eliminate worry
175:57 that you're going to eliminate worry fantasized experiences appearing real
175:59 fantasized experiences appearing real that you're going to accept the worst
176:00 that you're going to accept the worst possible outcome should it occur and now
176:03 possible outcome should it occur and now get busy to everything humanly possible
176:06 get busy to everything humanly possible to take constructive action to eliminate
176:09 to take constructive action to eliminate the worry situation and do away with it
176:12 the worry situation and do away with it that's the key to eliminating the final
176:15 that's the key to eliminating the final of the worst of our negative emotions
176:19 of the worst of our negative emotions this is the end of side two please fast
176:21 this is the end of side two please fast forward the tape to the end to queue up
176:23 forward the tape to the end to queue up side 1 for your next
176:40 present Phoenix [Music]
176:53 session nine programming your mind for Success everything you are or ever will
176:56 Success everything you are or ever will be is a result of what is going on
176:58 be is a result of what is going on inside your mind this is the most
177:01 inside your mind this is the most awesome concept that I've ever
177:03 awesome concept that I've ever discovered that anybody has ever
177:04 discovered that anybody has ever discovered that you can dramatically
177:06 discovered that you can dramatically change the outer realities of your life
177:08 change the outer realities of your life by changing your inner attitudes of Mind
177:11 by changing your inner attitudes of Mind as William James said we talked earlier
177:13 as William James said we talked earlier about the various laws the law of belief
177:15 about the various laws the law of belief that your beliefs do become your
177:17 that your beliefs do become your realities that you actually see the
177:18 realities that you actually see the world in terms of what you believe to be
177:21 world in terms of what you believe to be true about it beliefs create the actual
177:24 true about it beliefs create the actual fact as a man thinketh in his heart or
177:26 fact as a man thinketh in his heart or as a woman woman thinketh in her heart
177:29 as a woman woman thinketh in her heart so are they we also know that law of
177:31 so are they we also know that law of Correspondence says that your outer
177:33 Correspondence says that your outer world will always correspond with your
177:35 world will always correspond with your inner world that means that there is
177:38 inner world that means that there is something in your inner world that
177:40 something in your inner world that corresponds to everything in your outer
177:42 corresponds to everything in your outer world the great EMT fox said this when
177:44 world the great EMT fox said this when he talked about the mental equivalent he
177:46 he talked about the mental equivalent he said that everything in your outer life
177:48 said that everything in your outer life has a mental equivalent in your inner
177:49 has a mental equivalent in your inner life anything that you want to see
177:51 life anything that you want to see different in your outer life you must
177:52 different in your outer life you must first provide the mental equivalent
177:55 first provide the mental equivalent internally and the Law of Attraction
177:57 internally and the Law of Attraction says that anything that you keep holding
177:59 says that anything that you keep holding your mind on a continuing basis you draw
178:01 your mind on a continuing basis you draw to you that your dominant thoughts set
178:04 to you that your dominant thoughts set up a force field of energy that draws
178:06 up a force field of energy that draws into your life the people and
178:07 into your life the people and circumstances that you need I mention
178:09 circumstances that you need I mention that because of this many people say
178:12 that because of this many people say well how will I get a better job or a
178:13 well how will I get a better job or a better relationship how will I find the
178:15 better relationship how will I find the information I need or or uh get the educ
178:18 information I need or or uh get the educ and so on you don't have to worry about
178:19 and so on you don't have to worry about it all you have to do is get it crystal
178:21 it all you have to do is get it crystal clear in your mind and you trigger into
178:23 clear in your mind and you trigger into and get into the flow of these Universal
178:25 and get into the flow of these Universal mental laws and everything that you need
178:27 mental laws and everything that you need will be brought to you exactly as you
178:29 will be brought to you exactly as you need it exactly when you need it and
178:32 need it exactly when you need it and exactly in the form that you need it and
178:34 exactly in the form that you need it and we're going to talk in this session we
178:35 we're going to talk in this session we talked about self-concept before we said
178:38 talked about self-concept before we said that your self-concept is that bundle of
178:40 that your self-concept is that bundle of beliefs inside that determines
178:43 beliefs inside that determines everything that happens to you your
178:44 everything that happens to you your self-concept is the sum total result of
178:46 self-concept is the sum total result of every single piece of information that
178:48 every single piece of information that you've ever taken in about yourself or
178:51 you've ever taken in about yourself or your world accept it as true it becomes
178:55 your world accept it as true it becomes part of your self-concept and your
178:56 part of your self-concept and your self-concept is the corresponding inner
178:59 self-concept is the corresponding inner mechanism that determines what happens
179:01 mechanism that determines what happens to you what does this mean it means that
179:03 to you what does this mean it means that all change begins with a change in the
179:05 all change begins with a change in the self-concept all change Begins by you
179:08 self-concept all change Begins by you taking in new information that changes
179:11 taking in new information that changes your
179:12 your beliefs now beliefs are the hardest of
179:15 beliefs now beliefs are the hardest of all things to change because we defend
179:17 all things to change because we defend them so vigorously we have to be willing
179:20 them so vigorously we have to be willing to give up some of our self-limiting
179:22 to give up some of our self-limiting beliefs we have to be willing to look at
179:24 beliefs we have to be willing to look at our beliefs honestly remember we talked
179:26 our beliefs honestly remember we talked about self- knowledge we have to be
179:28 about self- knowledge we have to be willing to look at our beliefs honestly
179:30 willing to look at our beliefs honestly and say do these beliefs serve me is
179:33 and say do these beliefs serve me is this what I want to be is this what I
179:36 this what I want to be is this what I want to do is this the best that I can
179:38 want to do is this the best that I can have and you begin to question your
179:40 have and you begin to question your beliefs and change your self-concept by
179:42 beliefs and change your self-concept by taking in new information that develops
179:45 taking in new information that develops a new self-concept and that brings us to
179:47 a new self-concept and that brings us to a concept called the psychology of
179:50 a concept called the psychology of becoming the psychology of becoming says
179:53 becoming the psychology of becoming says that each one of us is in a continuous
179:56 that each one of us is in a continuous state of growth and change that your
179:58 state of growth and change that your self-concepts and your beliefs are
179:59 self-concepts and your beliefs are changing all the time for instance when
180:01 changing all the time for instance when you were a child you believe one set of
180:03 you were a child you believe one set of things about the adult world when you
180:05 things about the adult world when you were a teenager another when you were in
180:07 were a teenager another when you were in your early 20s you believed another and
180:09 your early 20s you believed another and as we grow and evolve we change our
180:11 as we grow and evolve we change our beliefs and our self-concept we change
180:13 beliefs and our self-concept we change our self-image we change the way we see
180:15 our self-image we change the way we see the world so we're in this process of
180:17 the world so we're in this process of Bec all the time it's going on it's
180:20 Bec all the time it's going on it's almost like this it's it's like a tumble
180:21 almost like this it's it's like a tumble weed is that you are evolving and
180:23 weed is that you are evolving and changing and growing all the time but
180:25 changing and growing all the time but always in the direction of your dominant
180:27 always in the direction of your dominant goals always in the direction of what
180:29 goals always in the direction of what you are thinking about the most
180:31 you are thinking about the most intensely at the time for instance an
180:33 intensely at the time for instance an alcoholic or a drug addict is also
180:35 alcoholic or a drug addict is also evolving and changing in the direction
180:37 evolving and changing in the direction of his or her dominant goals because
180:40 of his or her dominant goals because that's what they think about all the
180:41 that's what they think about all the time and if you want to evolve and grow
180:44 time and if you want to evolve and grow rapidly you have to make those goals
180:47 rapidly you have to make those goals clear you have to make them sharp you
180:49 clear you have to make them sharp you have to make them intense and you have
180:51 have to make them intense and you have to dwell on them all the time sometimes
180:54 to dwell on them all the time sometimes you see people who are very successful
180:55 you see people who are very successful at an early age but you'll find that
180:57 at an early age but you'll find that those people had an obsession a total
181:00 those people had an obsession a total preoccupation with a particular area or
181:02 preoccupation with a particular area or field for a long time whereas other
181:05 field for a long time whereas other people who may be much older have never
181:07 people who may be much older have never had an intense feeling or have never
181:09 had an intense feeling or have never dwelled on anything they want to
181:10 dwelled on anything they want to accomplish now there's two obstacles to
181:12 accomplish now there's two obstacles to this psychology of becoming number one
181:15 this psychology of becoming number one is called homeostasis now homeostasis is
181:20 is called homeostasis now homeostasis is the desire for consistency it is a
181:23 the desire for consistency it is a natural desire within the human mind to
181:25 natural desire within the human mind to stay constant with what has happened in
181:27 stay constant with what has happened in the past if you like we like to maintain
181:29 the past if you like we like to maintain the status quo these are the people who
181:31 the status quo these are the people who say that's the way we've always done it
181:32 say that's the way we've always done it this is the way we do it around here etc
181:35 this is the way we do it around here etc etc you must watch out for homeostasis
181:38 etc you must watch out for homeostasis because what it does is it causes your
181:40 because what it does is it causes your thinking to become rigid and inflexible
181:43 thinking to become rigid and inflexible and the other is called psychos
181:45 and the other is called psychos sclerosis psychos sclerosis
181:49 sclerosis psychos sclerosis is simply a hardening of the
181:52 is simply a hardening of the attitudes a hardening of the attitudes
181:55 attitudes a hardening of the attitudes people with psychos sclerosis developed
181:57 people with psychos sclerosis developed what is called fixed ideas fixed ideas
181:59 what is called fixed ideas fixed ideas lead to rigidity and an unwillingness to
182:02 lead to rigidity and an unwillingness to change both of these lead to getting
182:04 change both of these lead to getting stuck in the comfort zone remember the
182:07 stuck in the comfort zone remember the natural tendency of all human behavior
182:09 natural tendency of all human behavior is for you to start doing something in a
182:11 is for you to start doing something in a certain way and then get stuck in a
182:13 certain way and then get stuck in a comfort zone you get stuck in a comfort
182:16 comfort zone you get stuck in a comfort zone in a relationship even if you're
182:17 zone in a relationship even if you're not happy in a job even if you're not
182:19 not happy in a job even if you're not satisfied and with a particular level of
182:21 satisfied and with a particular level of income even if it's not enough you have
182:23 income even if it's not enough you have to fight the comfort zone because the
182:25 to fight the comfort zone because the comfort zone very soon becomes a
182:27 comfort zone very soon becomes a rut and they say that a rut becomes a
182:31 rut and they say that a rut becomes a grave and the only difference between a
182:32 grave and the only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth or another
182:36 rut and a grave is the depth or another way that it's been put is that a grave
182:37 way that it's been put is that a grave is simply a rut or a rut is simply a
182:40 is simply a rut or a rut is simply a grave where the ends kicked out so be
182:42 grave where the ends kicked out so be very alert to that because the great
182:44 very alert to that because the great majority of people in our society tend
182:46 majority of people in our society tend and evolve natur to get into a comfort
182:49 and evolve natur to get into a comfort zone to become very rigid Defenders of
182:51 zone to become very rigid Defenders of the status quo to become very hardened
182:54 the status quo to become very hardened in their attitudes they get into this
182:55 in their attitudes they get into this comfort zone They fall into this rut and
182:57 comfort zone They fall into this rut and even if it would be good for them they
182:59 even if it would be good for them they don't
183:00 don't change now this leads us to the two
183:03 change now this leads us to the two great powers that control everything
183:05 great powers that control everything that happens to you and the first power
183:08 that happens to you and the first power is the Power of Love The Power of
183:12 is the Power of Love The Power of Love is the power that shapes your
183:14 Love is the power that shapes your personality and shapes your destiny The
183:17 personality and shapes your destiny The Power of Love simply says that
183:19 Power of Love simply says that everything that we do is either to get
183:22 everything that we do is either to get love or to compensate for the lack of
183:25 love or to compensate for the lack of love we said earlier that children's
183:28 love we said earlier that children's entire personality is formed by the
183:30 entire personality is formed by the quality and quantity of love that they
183:32 quality and quantity of love that they get and that all adult problems are as
183:34 get and that all adult problems are as the result of Love withheld love
183:36 the result of Love withheld love withheld from our parents and perhaps
183:37 withheld from our parents and perhaps love withheld from people when we grow
183:39 love withheld from people when we grow up the other power is the power of
183:42 up the other power is the power of suggestion now the power of suggestion
183:44 suggestion now the power of suggestion works on us all of our Lives the power
183:46 works on us all of our Lives the power of suggestion is EXT ex strong what it
183:49 of suggestion is EXT ex strong what it does is it begins working on us almost
183:52 does is it begins working on us almost from the time that we're born sometimes
183:53 from the time that we're born sometimes from before birth and the power of
183:55 from before birth and the power of suggestion shapes us it means that every
183:58 suggestion shapes us it means that every single thought you think everything you
184:00 single thought you think everything you hear everything that you see touch taste
184:02 hear everything that you see touch taste or smell everything that affects you in
184:06 or smell everything that affects you in any way has an effect on your
184:08 any way has an effect on your personality we say it this way we say
184:10 personality we say it this way we say everything
184:11 everything counts everything counts and especially
184:14 counts everything counts and especially when you become an adult remember that
184:16 when you become an adult remember that everything counts
184:19 everything counts now the average adult in America watches
184:22 now the average adult in America watches 20 to 25 hours of Television every week
184:26 20 to 25 hours of Television every week the average Senior Citizen Watches about
184:28 the average Senior Citizen Watches about 7 hours of Television average child
184:30 7 hours of Television average child watches three or four hours of
184:31 watches three or four hours of Television per day do you know that the
184:33 Television per day do you know that the average Chief Executive Officer of major
184:35 average Chief Executive Officer of major American corporations watches less than
184:38 American corporations watches less than five hours per week now let me ask you a
184:40 five hours per week now let me ask you a very simple question do you think
184:42 very simple question do you think there's a correlation between the number
184:44 there's a correlation between the number of hours that a person watches
184:46 of hours that a person watches television and how successful they are
184:48 television and how successful they are in life do you think that the suggestive
184:50 in life do you think that the suggestive influences books magazines tapes courses
184:53 influences books magazines tapes courses seminars people television programs and
184:56 seminars people television programs and so on that you watch listen to read
184:58 so on that you watch listen to read associate with on an ongoing basis do
185:00 associate with on an ongoing basis do you think these suggestive influences
185:02 you think these suggestive influences are having any effect on your future let
185:05 are having any effect on your future let me just put it this way everything does
185:08 me just put it this way everything does count and you have to ask yourself this
185:10 count and you have to ask yourself this question I learned this many years ago
185:12 question I learned this many years ago is ask yourself this question what is it
185:14 is ask yourself this question what is it that you want in life once you've asked
185:16 that you want in life once you've asked yourself what it is you want in life
185:18 yourself what it is you want in life then you can look at around your world
185:20 then you can look at around your world and you can determine what is right for
185:22 and you can determine what is right for you and what is wrong for you what does
185:25 you and what is wrong for you what does that mean it means that everything that
185:27 that mean it means that everything that moves you toward what you want is right
185:30 moves you toward what you want is right and everything that moves you away from
185:32 and everything that moves you away from what you want is wrong but everything
185:35 what you want is wrong but everything counts well I have a good friend who
185:37 counts well I have a good friend who goes on a diet on a regular basis and
185:40 goes on a diet on a regular basis and every so often I catch him eating
185:44 every so often I catch him eating cheesecake and sometimes he's eating two
185:46 cheesecake and sometimes he's eating two pieces of cheesecake with l lunch and I
185:48 pieces of cheesecake with l lunch and I say to him I said I thought you were on
185:49 say to him I said I thought you were on a diet I said I thought you only eat
185:51 a diet I said I thought you only eat fresh fruits and vegetables and and
185:53 fresh fruits and vegetables and and natural foods and he says sure he said
185:55 natural foods and he says sure he said well I said what about the cheesecake he
185:57 well I said what about the cheesecake he said well I don't count that do you know
185:59 said well I don't count that do you know how many people sit at home and watch
186:00 how many people sit at home and watch television three or four hours a night
186:02 television three or four hours a night who want to be successful who read the
186:04 who want to be successful who read the comic strips and the sports Pages who
186:07 comic strips and the sports Pages who read junky magazines or nothing at all
186:09 read junky magazines or nothing at all listen to the radio don't do anything
186:10 listen to the radio don't do anything with their time and their minds they say
186:12 with their time and their minds they say but I want to be successful I want to be
186:13 but I want to be successful I want to be more successful I said well what about
186:15 more successful I said well what about all these things that you're doing to
186:16 all these things that you're doing to waste your time they said well I don't
186:17 waste your time they said well I don't count that
186:19 count that unfortunately nature counts everything
186:21 unfortunately nature counts everything so this brings us to some laws that I
186:25 so this brings us to some laws that I want to share with you the first law is
186:26 want to share with you the first law is the law of habit now these are also
186:29 the law of habit now these are also mental laws the law of
186:32 mental laws the law of habit is very similar to the law of
186:36 habit is very similar to the law of inertia the law of inertia says that a
186:38 inertia the law of inertia says that a body in at rest tends to remain at rest
186:41 body in at rest tends to remain at rest unless acted upon by an outside force it
186:43 unless acted upon by an outside force it also sends that the body in motion tends
186:45 also sends that the body in motion tends to remain in motion unless acted upon by
186:47 to remain in motion unless acted upon by outside force the law of habits says
186:50 outside force the law of habits says that in the absence of a specific
186:52 that in the absence of a specific decision on your part to change some
186:55 decision on your part to change some aspect of your life the natural tendency
186:58 aspect of your life the natural tendency will be to go on the same way
187:05 indefinitely as a time management specialist once said The more you do of
187:08 specialist once said The more you do of what you're doing the more you'll get of
187:11 what you're doing the more you'll get of what you've got so you have to look at
187:13 what you've got so you have to look at what you've got and look at what you're
187:15 what you've got and look at what you're doing and saying is this what you want
187:18 doing and saying is this what you want you will go on indefinitely in the same
187:21 you will go on indefinitely in the same direction unless you make a very
187:23 direction unless you make a very concrete specific decision to change
187:26 concrete specific decision to change also there's another law it's called The
187:28 also there's another law it's called The Law of
187:30 Law of emotion and by the way before I get into
187:32 emotion and by the way before I get into the law of emotion let me say this that
187:34 the law of emotion let me say this that about 95% of everything that we do is by
187:36 about 95% of everything that we do is by habit that the only major difference
187:38 habit that the only major difference between successful people and failures
187:40 between successful people and failures is that successful people have success
187:42 is that successful people have success habits and failures have failure habits
187:44 habits and failures have failure habits you've heard for example you've heard
187:45 you've heard for example you've heard the old saying early to bed and early to
187:46 the old saying early to bed and early to rise they say makes a man healthy
187:48 rise they say makes a man healthy wealthy and wise well why is that why is
187:50 wealthy and wise well why is that why is it that so many successful people get up
187:52 it that so many successful people get up early in the morning it's because they
187:54 early in the morning it's because they get a jump on the day it's also because
187:56 get a jump on the day it's also because it forces them to go to bed earlier at
187:57 it forces them to go to bed earlier at night so they don't waste the evenings
187:59 night so they don't waste the evenings when they're the tiredest and least
188:01 when they're the tiredest and least productive so you find that over and
188:03 productive so you find that over and over again successful men and women are
188:05 over again successful men and women are early to bed and early to rise they have
188:06 early to bed and early to rise they have a success habit why is it that people
188:09 a success habit why is it that people don't go to bed early or don't get up
188:11 don't go to bed early or don't get up early because they're too lazy they're
188:13 early because they're too lazy they're too undisciplined they don't have goals
188:15 too undisciplined they don't have goals that they want badly enough they do not
188:17 that they want badly enough they do not have success habits 95% of your success
188:20 have success habits 95% of your success is going to be determined by the type of
188:22 is going to be determined by the type of habits you develop and if you have good
188:24 habits you develop and if you have good habits you're going to be successful in
188:26 habits you're going to be successful in spite of anything else the law of
188:28 spite of anything else the law of emotion says simply this it says that
188:31 emotion says simply this it says that every decision that you make is based on
188:34 every decision that you make is based on emotion is it we used to say over and
188:36 emotion is it we used to say over and over again that uh people are 90%
188:39 over again that uh people are 90% emotional and 10% logical well one of
188:41 emotional and 10% logical well one of the great discoveries that I've made in
188:42 the great discoveries that I've made in the course of my research is the
188:44 the course of my research is the discovery that we are 100% emotional
188:46 discovery that we are 100% emotional that we're not even 99% emotional every
188:49 that we're not even 99% emotional every single decision we make is an emotional
188:51 single decision we make is an emotional decision if somebody says well it's the
188:53 decision if somebody says well it's the logical thing to do what it simply means
188:55 logical thing to do what it simply means is they have more emotion invested in
188:57 is they have more emotion invested in that even though it sounds logical the
188:59 that even though it sounds logical the law of emotion says that every decision
189:01 law of emotion says that every decision that we make is emotional and it says
189:04 that we make is emotional and it says this it says the stronger emotion will
189:07 this it says the stronger emotion will dominate a weaker
189:09 dominate a weaker emotion stronger emotion dominates a
189:12 emotion stronger emotion dominates a weaker emotion so whatever
189:15 weaker emotion so whatever emotion is stronger
189:18 emotion is stronger will be the dominant emotion and will
189:20 will be the dominant emotion and will determine what you do all action is
189:23 determine what you do all action is determined by the emotion that is
189:24 determined by the emotion that is predominate at the time and with the
189:27 predominate at the time and with the whatever the stronger emotion if it is
189:29 whatever the stronger emotion if it is fear fear will determine what you do if
189:31 fear fear will determine what you do if it is desire desire will determine what
189:34 it is desire desire will determine what you do the two major emotions that
189:37 you do the two major emotions that wrestle within us all the time are fear
189:40 wrestle within us all the time are fear versus desire World Championship goes on
189:43 versus desire World Championship goes on over and over again your fears that hold
189:45 over and over again your fears that hold you back your desires that propel you
189:47 you back your desires that propel you forward now how do you turn this
189:49 forward now how do you turn this equation so that your desires win it's
189:52 equation so that your desires win it's very simple you use the law of
189:54 very simple you use the law of concentration and you think about what
189:56 concentration and you think about what you want all the time you dwell on what
189:59 you want all the time you dwell on what you want all the time you keep your mind
190:01 you want all the time you keep your mind fixed on your desires you become totally
190:03 fixed on your desires you become totally preoccupied with what you want and as
190:05 preoccupied with what you want and as we' said before your fears have a
190:07 we' said before your fears have a tendency to dwindle But whichever thing
190:09 tendency to dwindle But whichever thing you think about if you think about your
190:11 you think about if you think about your fears or you think about your desires
190:13 fears or you think about your desires whichever one you think about by the law
190:15 whichever one you think about by the law of emotion is going to determine your
190:17 of emotion is going to determine your action and your actions will determine
190:19 action and your actions will determine your outcomes this brings us to another
190:22 your outcomes this brings us to another law which is called the law of
190:24 law which is called the law of expression and this law of expression is
190:27 expression and this law of expression is very interesting this law of expression
190:29 very interesting this law of expression goes back many many years and it
190:32 goes back many many years and it predates even a quote from Aristotle
190:35 predates even a quote from Aristotle which says whatever
190:37 which says whatever is impressed is expressed whatever is
190:43 is impressed is expressed whatever is impressed is expressed
190:52 whatever is impressed is expressed now what does this mean let me go and sit
190:54 what does this mean let me go and sit down well we get the board cleaned off
190:57 down well we get the board cleaned off it means it means simply this is that
190:59 it means it means simply this is that whatever is impressed into your psyche
191:01 whatever is impressed into your psyche for any reason and from whatever Source
191:04 for any reason and from whatever Source whatever is mixed with emotion and
191:06 whatever is mixed with emotion and dropped into your self-concept will
191:08 dropped into your self-concept will eventually be expressed as part of your
191:10 eventually be expressed as part of your personality part of your reality it says
191:13 personality part of your reality it says in effect that you see the world through
191:15 in effect that you see the world through your self-concept you actually see your
191:19 your self-concept you actually see your concept of the world you do not believe
191:22 concept of the world you do not believe what you see you see what you believe
191:26 what you see you see what you believe whatever has been impressed on your mind
191:28 whatever has been impressed on your mind as a fact or as a truth or as a reality
191:31 as a fact or as a truth or as a reality will then be expressed in your reality
191:34 will then be expressed in your reality or expressed in your world because that
191:36 or expressed in your world because that is what you will see if you believe that
191:37 is what you will see if you believe that a certain type of people are good then
191:39 a certain type of people are good then you will see goodness in those people if
191:41 you will see goodness in those people if you believe that members of a particular
191:43 you believe that members of a particular political party are fools then all
191:46 political party are fools then all members of that political part party
191:47 members of that political part party will appear foolish to you even the
191:49 will appear foolish to you even the wisest and most intelligent if you
191:51 wisest and most intelligent if you believe that there is opportunity
191:53 believe that there is opportunity everywhere you will see opportunity
191:55 everywhere you will see opportunity everywhere if you believe that you're in
191:56 everywhere if you believe that you're in complete control of your own destiny
191:58 complete control of your own destiny then you will see indications of that if
192:00 then you will see indications of that if you believe that you are a popular
192:02 you believe that you are a popular courageous confident influential person
192:06 courageous confident influential person then you will act in a manner consistent
192:08 then you will act in a manner consistent with it and you will see it all around
192:10 with it and you will see it all around you I was reading a very interesting
192:12 you I was reading a very interesting story not long ago about a young man who
192:15 story not long ago about a young man who came from poor beginnings and had no
192:16 came from poor beginnings and had no self-con idence at all but was convinced
192:19 self-con idence at all but was convinced by a fortune teller that he was The
192:21 by a fortune teller that he was The Reincarnation of Napoleon bonapart
192:24 Reincarnation of Napoleon bonapart wonderful story true story too and uh he
192:27 wonderful story true story too and uh he began to believe that he was The
192:28 began to believe that he was The Reincarnation of Napoleon bonapart and
192:31 Reincarnation of Napoleon bonapart and he went to the library and he studied
192:33 he went to the library and he studied Napoleon he read all about Napoleon and
192:35 Napoleon he read all about Napoleon and he began to walk and talk and act like
192:37 he began to walk and talk and act like Napoleon he began to think like Napoleon
192:39 Napoleon he began to think like Napoleon he began to imagine great plans like
192:42 he began to imagine great plans like Napoleon would have imag he began to act
192:44 Napoleon would have imag he began to act with courage and confidence in the face
192:46 with courage and confidence in the face of uncertainty as Napoleon would have
192:49 of uncertainty as Napoleon would have over time he became absolutely convinced
192:51 over time he became absolutely convinced that indeed
192:52 that indeed this person who was shy and retiring was
192:56 this person who was shy and retiring was truly The Reincarnation of Napoleon and
192:59 truly The Reincarnation of Napoleon and as he did his career improved he was
193:01 as he did his career improved he was promoted he was Advanced he changed the
193:03 promoted he was Advanced he changed the way he dressed he spoke more confidently
193:06 way he dressed he spoke more confidently and by the time he found out that he had
193:08 and by the time he found out that he had been misled by the fortune teller he was
193:10 been misled by the fortune teller he was already an extremely successful
193:12 already an extremely successful businessman very interesting whatever is
193:15 businessman very interesting whatever is impressed and and accepted becomes
193:18 impressed and and accepted becomes expressed and this brings us to another
193:19 expressed and this brings us to another critical mental law and it is this it is
193:23 critical mental law and it is this it is what is called the
193:25 what is called the law of
193:26 law of reversibility when I first learned about
193:29 reversibility when I first learned about this law I was so excited I wanted to
193:33 this law I was so excited I wanted to wrap it up and tie it up and not tell
193:36 wrap it up and tie it up and not tell anybody this is the first time in any
193:38 anybody this is the first time in any form that I've ever explained this law
193:40 form that I've ever explained this law to other people the law of reversibility
193:42 to other people the law of reversibility says simply this is that if you achieve
193:44 says simply this is that if you achieve a certain level of success a certain
193:47 a certain level of success a certain level of Health the certain quality of
193:49 level of Health the certain quality of relationships then that quality of
193:52 relationships then that quality of relationships will create a subjective
193:55 relationships will create a subjective State a subjective State means a feeling
193:58 State a subjective State means a feeling or an emotional state in other words if
194:02 or an emotional state in other words if you win a prize you will feel like a
194:04 you win a prize you will feel like a winner if you fall in love you'll feel
194:07 winner if you fall in love you'll feel like a lover if you succeed in business
194:09 like a lover if you succeed in business you'll feel like a success the
194:12 you'll feel like a success the objective creates in other words the
194:15 objective creates in other words the objective reality
194:18 objective reality or the fact actually creates the
194:21 or the fact actually creates the subjective or the emotional state that
194:24 subjective or the emotional state that make sense to you in other words
194:25 make sense to you in other words something happens you feel great you get
194:27 something happens you feel great you get the feeling however the law of
194:29 the feeling however the law of reversibility says this if you can grasp
194:32 reversibility says this if you can grasp this this one fact alone can change your
194:35 this this one fact alone can change your life because it has changed mine is that
194:38 life because it has changed mine is that if you can create
194:40 if you can create artificially the subjective State the
194:43 artificially the subjective State the feeling the feeling will trigger the law
194:46 feeling the feeling will trigger the law of ATT raction and correspondence into
194:49 of ATT raction and correspondence into motion and will draw into your life the
194:51 motion and will draw into your life the people circumstances and opportunities
194:53 people circumstances and opportunities necessary to create the objective that
194:56 necessary to create the objective that is constant with the subjective and here
194:59 is constant with the subjective and here is the method it's so simple it's
195:02 is the method it's so simple it's astonishing it is this is whenever you
195:04 astonishing it is this is whenever you think of something that you really
195:06 think of something that you really desire imagine that you have it
195:09 desire imagine that you have it already imagine that you have it
195:12 already imagine that you have it already it sounds like a game like
195:15 already it sounds like a game like children would play but it is so
195:17 children would play but it is so powerful that is it is all inspiring and
195:19 powerful that is it is all inspiring and all I suggest you do is try it for a
195:21 all I suggest you do is try it for a little while just imagine close your
195:23 little while just imagine close your eyes driveing along think about it
195:25 eyes driveing along think about it necessary stand relax do whatever you
195:26 necessary stand relax do whatever you want but just imagine that you've
195:28 want but just imagine that you've already accomplished it and try to get
195:30 already accomplished it and try to get the feeling get the
195:34 the feeling get the feeling as though it were already a
195:36 feeling as though it were already a success as though it were a past tense
195:39 success as though it were a past tense as though it were already accomplished
195:40 as though it were already accomplished that you don't have to worry about it
195:41 that you don't have to worry about it again you've already got the feeling and
195:44 again you've already got the feeling and if you will play that feeling over and
195:45 if you will play that feeling over and over again this law of reversibility
195:48 over again this law of reversibility will create this feeling as you dwell
195:50 will create this feeling as you dwell upon the feeling more and more the
195:52 upon the feeling more and more the feeling will actually begin to change
195:53 feeling will actually begin to change things inside you and outside of you
195:56 things inside you and outside of you draw you toward your goal and draw your
195:59 draw you toward your goal and draw your goal toward you and the objective will
196:02 goal toward you and the objective will come into reality exactly at the right
196:04 come into reality exactly at the right time and place you don't even really
196:05 time and place you don't even really have to worry about the process between
196:07 have to worry about the process between the two or what the steps are all you
196:09 the two or what the steps are all you have to do is hold that feeling very
196:11 have to do is hold that feeling very very intensely and we'll talk about this
196:12 very intensely and we'll talk about this a little bit more when we talk about
196:13 a little bit more when we talk about mental programming methods now the next
196:15 mental programming methods now the next law is the law of practice
196:17 law is the law of practice ice the law of
196:23 practice is also called The Law of repetition but with says that whatever
196:25 repetition but with says that whatever you do over and over again often enough
196:30 you do over and over again often enough becomes and you have it you want to be a
196:34 becomes and you have it you want to be a positive exciting enthusiastic person
196:37 positive exciting enthusiastic person you be want to become wealthy and
196:38 you be want to become wealthy and successful what is it that you want in
196:40 successful what is it that you want in life whatever you want in life if you
196:42 life whatever you want in life if you will practice it over and over again it
196:45 will practice it over and over again it eventually becomes a new habit if you
196:47 eventually becomes a new habit if you practice it by thinking about it you see
196:48 practice it by thinking about it you see a new habit takes about 21 days to
196:52 a new habit takes about 21 days to develop takes about 21 days to develop a
196:55 develop takes about 21 days to develop a new habit 21 days of repeating it over
196:58 new habit 21 days of repeating it over and over
197:00 and over again now what we're going to ask you to
197:02 again now what we're going to ask you to do as a result of this course and a
197:04 do as a result of this course and a result what result of what we've talked
197:06 result what result of what we've talked about is we're going to ask you or
197:08 about is we're going to ask you or suggest that you go on what we call a 21
197:10 suggest that you go on what we call a 21 day PMA
197:13 day PMA diet that means that for 21 days we're
197:15 diet that means that for 21 days we're going to ask you to do a very difficult
197:18 going to ask you to do a very difficult thing one of the most difficult things
197:19 thing one of the most difficult things you'll ever do in your life is for 21
197:21 you'll ever do in your life is for 21 days we want you to keep your mind on
197:23 days we want you to keep your mind on what you want and keep it off of what
197:24 what you want and keep it off of what you don't want keep your conversation on
197:27 you don't want keep your conversation on what you want keep your conversation off
197:29 what you want keep your conversation off of what you don't want keep your dreams
197:31 of what you don't want keep your dreams your imagination your thoughts your
197:33 your imagination your thoughts your feelings everything in your environment
197:35 feelings everything in your environment consistent with what you desire and keep
197:37 consistent with what you desire and keep it off of what you don't want very
197:39 it off of what you don't want very simple it's not very complicated it's
197:41 simple it's not very complicated it's one of the most difficult things that
197:43 one of the most difficult things that you'll ever do now why do we pick 21
197:45 you'll ever do now why do we pick 21 days well a very good reason
197:47 days well a very good reason uh you see it takes 21 days for a
197:50 uh you see it takes 21 days for a chicken that has a brain the size of a
197:53 chicken that has a brain the size of a pee to sit patiently calmly
197:57 pee to sit patiently calmly Faithfully on an egg to hatch the egg
198:01 Faithfully on an egg to hatch the egg now we feel that if a chicken with a
198:03 now we feel that if a chicken with a little brain like that can sit on an egg
198:06 little brain like that can sit on an egg for 21 days without seeing any change
198:08 for 21 days without seeing any change just in faith just in faith for 21 days
198:11 just in faith just in faith for 21 days it can sit there on that egg then we
198:13 it can sit there on that egg then we could probably ask adults who have
198:15 could probably ask adults who have brains that are the size of three PBS
198:17 brains that are the size of three PBS that have 12 to 20 billion cells and
198:20 that have 12 to 20 billion cells and have the capacity to remember and retain
198:22 have the capacity to remember and retain all the knowledge known to man if their
198:24 all the knowledge known to man if their brain could be tapped we ask them to
198:26 brain could be tapped we ask them to keep at it for 21 days if you will go on
198:29 keep at it for 21 days if you will go on a positive mental attitude diet for 21
198:32 a positive mental attitude diet for 21 days keep your mind on it the goal is to
198:34 days keep your mind on it the goal is to become what we call a purely positive
198:37 become what we call a purely positive person a purely positive
198:40 person a purely positive person because we know that if you're a
198:42 person because we know that if you're a p purely positive person if your
198:44 p purely positive person if your conversations your acts and your
198:46 conversations your acts and your relationship are purely positive what we
198:48 relationship are purely positive what we call a PPP
198:51 call a PPP person and you practice that for 21 days
198:54 person and you practice that for 21 days you will find that your life will change
198:57 you will find that your life will change that everything around you will change
198:58 that everything around you will change your health your relationships your work
199:00 your health your relationships your work your opportunities and everything
199:02 your opportunities and everything else it's simple but it's not easy if
199:06 else it's simple but it's not easy if you can do it if you can practice it it
199:08 you can do it if you can practice it it will become a new habit the very law of
199:11 will become a new habit the very law of reversibility the very law of emotion
199:13 reversibility the very law of emotion the very law of habit that we talked
199:15 the very law of habit that we talked about will actually begin to be changed
199:17 about will actually begin to be changed now what are the four things you need in
199:19 now what are the four things you need in order to make this great change number
199:21 order to make this great change number one is you need
199:23 one is you need desire desire is the starting point of
199:25 desire desire is the starting point of all change the most important question
199:28 all change the most important question that you have to ask yourself in life is
199:29 that you have to ask yourself in life is how badly do you want what you want how
199:32 how badly do you want what you want how badly do you want it or do you want it
199:36 badly do you want it or do you want it at all you see there's an awful lot of
199:39 at all you see there's an awful lot of people who want an awful lot of
199:42 people who want an awful lot of things but how badly do they want it if
199:45 things but how badly do they want it if you want it so badly if you want it with
199:47 you want it so badly if you want it with tremendous intensity of desire there's
199:49 tremendous intensity of desire there's really nothing in the world that can
199:50 really nothing in the world that can stop you from getting it there's an
199:52 stop you from getting it there's an interesting story was told by about
199:55 interesting story was told by about Socrates and Socrates was talking to one
199:57 Socrates and Socrates was talking to one of his students and the student said I
199:58 of his students and the student said I am hungry for knowledge what can I do to
200:00 am hungry for knowledge what can I do to increase my knowledge and Socrates said
200:04 increase my knowledge and Socrates said uh knowledge is something that is read
200:06 uh knowledge is something that is read readily available and easy to get if you
200:08 readily available and easy to get if you want it bad enough he said oh he said
200:10 want it bad enough he said oh he said I'm sure I want it badly enough and
200:12 I'm sure I want it badly enough and Socrates said come with me and he walked
200:13 Socrates said come with me and he walked him offshore into uh the ocean and
200:17 him offshore into uh the ocean and walked him offshore into the agnc and I
200:19 walked him offshore into the agnc and I got about three or 4 feet and Socrates a
200:21 got about three or 4 feet and Socrates a very very strong man grabbed the young
200:23 very very strong man grabbed the young man and put his head under the water and
200:25 man and put his head under the water and the young man began to struggle and
200:26 the young man began to struggle and struggle and struggle and finally became
200:28 struggle and struggle and finally became incredibly frantic and finally brought
200:30 incredibly frantic and finally brought him up and he said now what did you want
200:32 him up and he said now what did you want while you were under the water and he
200:33 while you were under the water and he said all I wanted was air he said all I
200:35 said all I wanted was air he said all I could think of in the whole world was
200:37 could think of in the whole world was air he said when you want knowledge with
200:39 air he said when you want knowledge with the same intensity that you wanted that
200:42 the same intensity that you wanted that oxygen you will get all the knowledge
200:44 oxygen you will get all the knowledge that you could desire and when you want
200:46 that you could desire and when you want anything with great intensity if you
200:48 anything with great intensity if you have the desire you'll get it now the
200:50 have the desire you'll get it now the second step is
200:53 second step is decision over and over again where I
200:55 decision over and over again where I travel I find that the major change in a
200:58 travel I find that the major change in a person's life begins when they make a
201:01 person's life begins when they make a decision I also find that the great
201:03 decision I also find that the great majority of people are incredibly
201:05 majority of people are incredibly indecisive is that they're very
201:07 indecisive is that they're very reluctant to make decisions to cut off
201:09 reluctant to make decisions to cut off their options they are very very
201:11 their options they are very very reluctant to make a commitment of any
201:13 reluctant to make a commitment of any kind and in not making a commitment they
201:16 kind and in not making a commitment they just drift they unfortunately condemn
201:19 just drift they unfortunately condemn themselves to living by the law of
201:21 themselves to living by the law of accident so the next step is to make a
201:23 accident so the next step is to make a decision a very clear unequivocal
201:26 decision a very clear unequivocal decision is that this is what you want
201:29 decision is that this is what you want and you are willing to pay the price to
201:31 and you are willing to pay the price to get it there's a very interesting little
201:33 get it there's a very interesting little book called The Ultimate Secret by
201:34 book called The Ultimate Secret by Michael hernacki and he said that the
201:36 Michael hernacki and he said that the key to success after he's studied many
201:39 key to success after he's studied many many successful people so the key to
201:41 many successful people so the key to success is simply this is be willing to
201:43 success is simply this is be willing to do whatever is
201:45 do whatever is necessary be willing to do whatever is
201:50 necessary be willing to do whatever is necessary be willing to do whatever is
201:52 necessary be willing to do whatever is necessary that means once you've made
201:55 necessary that means once you've made the decision be willing to
201:57 the decision be willing to go the extra mile be willing to do
201:59 go the extra mile be willing to do whatever is necessary and the
202:00 whatever is necessary and the interesting thing is that you won't ever
202:01 interesting thing is that you won't ever have to do everything that's necessary
202:02 have to do everything that's necessary but you must be willing to do it and
202:04 but you must be willing to do it and it's that unequivocal decision that do
202:06 it's that unequivocal decision that do or die that complete total 100%
202:09 or die that complete total 100% commitment that makes all the difference
202:12 commitment that makes all the difference in your success most people are
202:14 in your success most people are unwilling to make the commitment and if
202:16 unwilling to make the commitment and if they do make the commitment they hold
202:17 they do make the commitment they hold themselves back they say I want it but
202:18 themselves back they say I want it but I'm not willing to do this or I won't do
202:20 I'm not willing to do this or I won't do that or I won't move I won't go back to
202:22 that or I won't move I won't go back to school uh I can't sacrifice this and so
202:25 school uh I can't sacrifice this and so on I've spoken to many parents for
202:27 on I've spoken to many parents for instance who have undergone great
202:29 instance who have undergone great sacrifices so that the mother can stay
202:32 sacrifices so that the mother can stay home with the young children during
202:33 home with the young children during their first 3 to five years and people
202:35 their first 3 to five years and people say well you're crazy you need the money
202:37 say well you're crazy you need the money you can't take trips you don't have
202:38 you can't take trips you don't have enough money to pay bills when you're
202:40 enough money to pay bills when you're not one of two people working they say
202:41 not one of two people working they say yes but our decision is to give our
202:44 yes but our decision is to give our children the finest grounding and finest
202:46 children the finest grounding and finest emotional basis possible and we feel
202:48 emotional basis possible and we feel that the way to do it is for the mother
202:50 that the way to do it is for the mother to be home with the children so they're
202:51 to be home with the children so they're willing to make the sacrifices and of
202:54 willing to make the sacrifices and of course everybody has to make their
202:55 course everybody has to make their decisions with regard to what sacrifices
202:57 decisions with regard to what sacrifices they want to make the third is
203:01 they want to make the third is determination determination
203:03 determination determination means to back your plan with if you like
203:07 means to back your plan with if you like iron
203:08 iron willpower again every single study that
203:10 willpower again every single study that I've looked at and I spent in the course
203:13 I've looked at and I spent in the course of my lifetime I've spent almost 30,000
203:16 of my lifetime I've spent almost 30,000 hours studying the subject of personal
203:18 hours studying the subject of personal and corporate success is that iron
203:21 and corporate success is that iron willpower is absolutely critical
203:23 willpower is absolutely critical determination the willingness to stick
203:25 determination the willingness to stick in when the going gets tough the
203:27 in when the going gets tough the willingness to persist in the face of
203:29 willingness to persist in the face of adversity that kind of determination is
203:31 adversity that kind of determination is absolutely critical to developing the
203:33 absolutely critical to developing the new habit patterns of thought that will
203:35 new habit patterns of thought that will guarantee your success and finally
203:37 guarantee your success and finally discipline this is my big favorite It's
203:41 discipline this is my big favorite It's usually the only place in this course
203:42 usually the only place in this course where I mention this but discipline is
203:45 where I mention this but discipline is the master key to riches
203:47 the master key to riches discipline is the master key to riches
203:52 discipline is the master key to riches discipline the willingness to do what
203:55 discipline the willingness to do what you know you should do when you should
203:57 you know you should do when you should do it whether you like it or not is the
204:00 do it whether you like it or not is the critical key to your success why is it
204:02 critical key to your success why is it that people fail in life it's no Miracle
204:06 that people fail in life it's no Miracle it's no mystery the reason people fail
204:08 it's no mystery the reason people fail in life is that they're not willing to
204:09 in life is that they're not willing to do whatever is necessary they're not
204:11 do whatever is necessary they're not willing to pay the price half the time
204:14 willing to pay the price half the time most three quarters of the time they
204:15 most three quarters of the time they don't know what they want and the ones
204:16 don't know what they want and the ones that do know what they want are not
204:19 that do know what they want are not capable of disciplining themselves so
204:20 capable of disciplining themselves so the next time you sit there watching the
204:22 the next time you sit there watching the television next time you drive along
204:23 television next time you drive along listening to the radio instead of
204:25 listening to the radio instead of listening to an audio cassette program
204:26 listening to an audio cassette program you have to ask yourself quite
204:28 you have to ask yourself quite honestly in terms of the wonderful life
204:32 honestly in terms of the wonderful life that you are capable of enjoying in
204:34 that you are capable of enjoying in terms of all the things that you want is
204:36 terms of all the things that you want is this moving you toward it or is it
204:39 this moving you toward it or is it moving you away from it because the
204:41 moving you away from it because the truth of the matter is that everything
204:43 truth of the matter is that everything that does not move you toward your goal
204:45 that does not move you toward your goal moves you away from your goal that
204:47 moves you away from your goal that nothing is neutral that everything
204:50 nothing is neutral that everything counts that the sands of time are
204:52 counts that the sands of time are running the clock the meter is going
204:55 running the clock the meter is going right now a very good friend of mine
204:56 right now a very good friend of mine said remember this life is not a
204:58 said remember this life is not a rehearsal for anything else this is the
205:01 rehearsal for anything else this is the real one and the question you have to
205:03 real one and the question you have to ask yourself is are you serious about
205:06 ask yourself is are you serious about being and having and doing everything
205:08 being and having and doing everything that's possible for you if you go on a
205:10 that's possible for you if you go on a 21-day mental attitude diet a PMA diet
205:14 21-day mental attitude diet a PMA diet if you will keep your thoughts on what
205:15 if you will keep your thoughts on what you want for 21 days if you'll practice
205:18 you want for 21 days if you'll practice the law develop new habits practice
205:20 the law develop new habits practice repetition over and over again practice
205:22 repetition over and over again practice the law of reversibility and visualize
205:25 the law of reversibility and visualize and imagine yourself as the person you
205:27 and imagine yourself as the person you want to be and practice the law of
205:30 want to be and practice the law of expression that whatever is impressed on
205:31 expression that whatever is impressed on your mind will be expressed in your
205:33 your mind will be expressed in your reality you will see dramatic changes
205:35 reality you will see dramatic changes start to take place in your life and
205:38 start to take place in your life and sometimes far faster than you can
205:40 sometimes far faster than you can currently imagine believe me I know I
205:43 currently imagine believe me I know I have tried and practiced everything that
205:45 have tried and practiced everything that I recommend to you thousands of my
205:48 I recommend to you thousands of my graduates have done it and the results
205:49 graduates have done it and the results they have accomplished have been
205:51 they have accomplished have been stupendous they will be stupendous for
205:53 stupendous they will be stupendous for you too and we'll talk about more of
205:55 you too and we'll talk about more of that in the next
206:10 module session 10 changing yourself concept to repeat all change in your
206:14 concept to repeat all change in your life begins with a change in your self
206:16 life begins with a change in your self concept and that brings us back to what
206:18 concept and that brings us back to what we talked about when we talked about the
206:19 we talked about when we talked about the three ingredients of self-concept at the
206:21 three ingredients of self-concept at the very beginning we said that there were
206:23 very beginning we said that there were three parts the self ideal the
206:25 three parts the self ideal the self-image and the self-esteem or how
206:27 self-image and the self-esteem or how much you like yourself and what I like
206:29 much you like yourself and what I like to do now is I'd like to talk a little
206:30 to do now is I'd like to talk a little bit about what we call the self ideal
206:33 bit about what we call the self ideal because the self ideal is the person
206:35 because the self ideal is the person that you would most like to be when you
206:37 that you would most like to be when you start thinking about changing your
206:39 start thinking about changing your personality improving your personality
206:41 personality improving your personality improving the quality of your life your
206:43 improving the quality of your life your inner and your outer life you have to
206:45 inner and your outer life you have to start off with a Target you have to
206:47 start off with a Target you have to start off with something to shoot for
206:48 start off with something to shoot for something to aim at so let's talk about
206:51 something to aim at so let's talk about this the self ideal is a fundamental
206:53 this the self ideal is a fundamental part of your personality the self ideal
206:56 part of your personality the self ideal is a
206:56 is a combination of all of the
206:59 combination of all of the qualities of men and women that you have
207:02 qualities of men and women that you have read about studied about associated with
207:04 read about studied about associated with or admired throughout your entire life
207:06 or admired throughout your entire life your self ideal is sort of like a role
207:08 your self ideal is sort of like a role model for you an internal role model and
207:11 model for you an internal role model and this internal role model acts as a
207:14 this internal role model acts as a directional mechanism it within your
207:16 directional mechanism it within your psyche that determines your words
207:19 psyche that determines your words actions thoughts behaviors and so on as
207:20 actions thoughts behaviors and so on as a matter of fact you are today in many
207:23 a matter of fact you are today in many respects the sum total composite of all
207:26 respects the sum total composite of all the different men and women whose
207:27 the different men and women whose qualities and characteristics that You'
207:29 qualities and characteristics that You' ever admired if you read a biography an
207:31 ever admired if you read a biography an autobiography a story about a person who
207:33 autobiography a story about a person who has done something that you think is
207:35 has done something that you think is admirable displayed uh qualities of
207:37 admirable displayed uh qualities of intelligence or character or Compassion
207:40 intelligence or character or Compassion or perseverance or persistence or
207:42 or perseverance or persistence or courage and so on if someone has done
207:44 courage and so on if someone has done those things and you have a to admire
207:47 those things and you have a to admire them if you admire them what happens is
207:50 them if you admire them what happens is you have a tendency unconsciously even
207:53 you have a tendency unconsciously even without your knowing it to try to be
207:55 without your knowing it to try to be more like them now there is a difference
207:58 more like them now there is a difference between the self-image which is where
208:00 between the self-image which is where you see yourself now and your
208:03 you see yourself now and your self-esteem which is how much you like
208:05 self-esteem which is how much you like yourself and there's a difference
208:07 yourself and there's a difference between your self-image and your self
208:09 between your self-image and your self ideal the difference distance between
208:11 ideal the difference distance between these two the way you see yourself now
208:13 these two the way you see yourself now and the way you would ideally like to be
208:16 and the way you would ideally like to be has a major impact on your self-esteem
208:18 has a major impact on your self-esteem people who see themselves working
208:20 people who see themselves working progressively toward becoming more and
208:21 progressively toward becoming more and more like the people they want to be
208:24 more like the people they want to be have high self-esteem people who see
208:26 have high self-esteem people who see themselves as having an enormous almost
208:29 themselves as having an enormous almost unbridgeable distance between the PE
208:31 unbridgeable distance between the PE person they see themselves as now and
208:33 person they see themselves as now and the person they know they should or
208:35 the person they know they should or could be usually have low self-esteem so
208:38 could be usually have low self-esteem so the starting point of change in the
208:40 the starting point of change in the self-concept to repeat comes with
208:42 self-concept to repeat comes with defining clearly what it is you want to
208:45 defining clearly what it is you want to look like now when I was about 177 18
208:49 look like now when I was about 177 18 years old I sat down with a notebook and
208:51 years old I sat down with a notebook and I wrote out a description of the person
208:54 I wrote out a description of the person that I wanted to be when I grew up I
208:56 that I wanted to be when I grew up I wrote out and I wrote several pages I
208:58 wrote out and I wrote several pages I described my personality and my height
209:00 described my personality and my height and my weight and how I would get along
209:02 and my weight and how I would get along with people and so on and many years
209:04 with people and so on and many years later 10 15 20 years later after I had
209:06 later 10 15 20 years later after I had traveled around the world twice after
209:08 traveled around the world twice after I'd been in 80 countries after I had
209:09 I'd been in 80 countries after I had done a great variety of things I came
209:11 done a great variety of things I came across those notes in an old suitcase
209:14 across those notes in an old suitcase and I looked and I read them and you
209:15 and I looked and I read them and you know there a surprising thing was was
209:17 know there a surprising thing was was that I had become over the course of
209:20 that I had become over the course of that time the person that I had
209:22 that time the person that I had described in that notebook so I suggest
209:25 described in that notebook so I suggest you this is you start off by saying who
209:28 you this is you start off by saying who is it and what is it that you would like
209:30 is it and what is it that you would like to look like one year 3 years 5 years
209:33 to look like one year 3 years 5 years from now or let's put it this way and
209:35 from now or let's put it this way and here's a really good question name three
209:37 here's a really good question name three men or women living or dead that you
209:40 men or women living or dead that you really admire that you really feel our
209:42 really admire that you really feel our wonderful fine upstanding role models
209:45 wonderful fine upstanding role models and then ask ask yourself the question
209:47 and then ask ask yourself the question why is it that you admire them why is it
209:49 why is it that you admire them why is it that you like them what is it their is
209:51 that you like them what is it their is it about them what are their qualities
209:53 it about them what are their qualities if you like that you consider
209:55 if you like that you consider outstanding because those are the
209:56 outstanding because those are the qualities if you can identify them that
209:58 qualities if you can identify them that you'll begin moving toward accomplishing
210:01 you'll begin moving toward accomplishing in your own life remember we said that
210:03 in your own life remember we said that desire discipline determination and
210:07 desire discipline determination and decision are the keys to success but
210:09 decision are the keys to success but also definition you have to Define
210:12 also definition you have to Define clearly what you want to be I remember a
210:15 clearly what you want to be I remember a wonderful story of a young fellow who
210:17 wonderful story of a young fellow who decided he wanted to improve his life
210:20 decided he wanted to improve his life and he was working for an insurance
210:21 and he was working for an insurance company and he sat and looked around him
210:23 company and he sat and looked around him and he was number 28 out or 29 out of 30
210:26 and he was number 28 out or 29 out of 30 people in an insurance company selling
210:28 people in an insurance company selling insurance and he'd been there for
210:29 insurance and he'd been there for several years and his career was going
210:31 several years and his career was going nowhere and he began looking about him
210:33 nowhere and he began looking about him looking at this and he said now who do I
210:35 looking at this and he said now who do I admire who would I like to be like who
210:36 admire who would I like to be like who would my ideal be and he decided he
210:39 would my ideal be and he decided he wanted to be like the top salesman in
210:41 wanted to be like the top salesman in the branch and he started to look at the
210:43 the branch and he started to look at the top salesman and the top one or two
210:45 top salesman and the top one or two sales people in the BR Ranch and he
210:46 sales people in the BR Ranch and he started to think about them and think
210:48 started to think about them and think about what they did and he SP to talk to
210:49 about what they did and he SP to talk to them and get advice from them and over
210:51 them and get advice from them and over the course of the next few years by
210:53 the course of the next few years by using this process by pattering himself
210:56 using this process by pattering himself after the people he admired he became
210:58 after the people he admired he became more and more like them he dressed like
211:00 more and more like them he dressed like them he walked like them he talked like
211:02 them he walked like them he talked like them he worked the way they did he
211:04 them he worked the way they did he studied the way they did and in time he
211:06 studied the way they did and in time he became not only the top salesman in the
211:08 became not only the top salesman in the branch the top salesman in the region
211:10 branch the top salesman in the region the top salesman in the division
211:11 the top salesman in the division eventually the top salesman in the
211:12 eventually the top salesman in the country and he became a marketing vice
211:15 country and he became a marketing vice president for one of the biggest
211:16 president for one of the biggest insurance companies in the nation simply
211:19 insurance companies in the nation simply by establishing a self ideal and then
211:21 by establishing a self ideal and then working progressively toward it well
211:23 working progressively toward it well what are the stages the first starting
211:25 what are the stages the first starting stage as we say of changing the
211:28 stage as we say of changing the self-concept of changing your mind
211:31 self-concept of changing your mind becoming a new or a different person is
211:33 becoming a new or a different person is that the change must be perceived by you
211:37 that the change must be perceived by you as being both desirable and necessary in
211:41 as being both desirable and necessary in other words you must see
211:43 other words you must see that if you were to make this change
211:46 that if you were to make this change it would be a worthwhile change and in
211:49 it would be a worthwhile change and in terms of what you want to be have and do
211:51 terms of what you want to be have and do in terms of the future of your life it's
211:53 in terms of the future of your life it's necessary that you make this change if
211:55 necessary that you make this change if you want to get a hit I give you another
211:57 you want to get a hit I give you another example of a famous gentleman from a
211:59 example of a famous gentleman from a Fortune 500 Corporation was promoted to
212:01 Fortune 500 Corporation was promoted to president came up through engineering
212:03 president came up through engineering left brain had no people skills at all
212:05 left brain had no people skills at all was very very concerned about this part
212:08 was very very concerned about this part of his personality in that he didn't
212:10 of his personality in that he didn't know how to get along with people he
212:11 know how to get along with people he preferred problems that didn't talk back
212:14 preferred problems that didn't talk back but he recognized that a change in his
212:15 but he recognized that a change in his self-concept a change in his ability to
212:18 self-concept a change in his ability to communicate effectively with others was
212:20 communicate effectively with others was essential to his success so he began
212:22 essential to his success so he began taking courses on interpersonal
212:24 taking courses on interpersonal Communications he began taking courses
212:26 Communications he began taking courses on relationships for two solid years he
212:28 on relationships for two solid years he read books listened to tapes took
212:30 read books listened to tapes took courses and became an authority within
212:32 courses and became an authority within the company on human relations and then
212:34 the company on human relations and then put together a course of his own and
212:36 put together a course of his own and went throughout the company as the
212:38 went throughout the company as the president of the company and taught this
212:40 president of the company and taught this course within his company becoming at
212:42 course within his company becoming at the things that he was teaching in other
212:44 the things that he was teaching in other words he decided that to be very good
212:47 words he decided that to be very good with people was both desirable and
212:49 with people was both desirable and necessary for himself his company and
212:51 necessary for himself his company and his future and then he went about
212:53 his future and then he went about through the process of gradual defining
212:55 through the process of gradual defining the ideal and began working
212:57 the ideal and began working progressively toward it in two years he
212:58 progressively toward it in two years he had rounded out his personality from
213:00 had rounded out his personality from being a lopsided left brain linear
213:03 being a lopsided left brain linear analytical person to being a totally
213:05 analytical person to being a totally rounded fully functioning human being
213:08 rounded fully functioning human being one of the Hallmarks of great leaders
213:10 one of the Hallmarks of great leaders one of the Hallmarks of outstanding men
213:11 one of the Hallmarks of outstanding men and women is that they're willing to
213:13 and women is that they're willing to make the efforts necessary to bring
213:15 make the efforts necessary to bring about the changes that are essential now
213:17 about the changes that are essential now the second stage or the second step in
213:20 the second stage or the second step in changing yourself concept is to begin
213:23 changing yourself concept is to begin thinking about yourself as you would
213:25 thinking about yourself as you would ideally be begin thinking about
213:28 ideally be begin thinking about yourself as your ideal
213:31 yourself as your ideal person for instance if you wanted to be
213:35 person for instance if you wanted to be an outstanding person in in human
213:36 an outstanding person in in human relations you'd begin thinking about
213:38 relations you'd begin thinking about yourself as you would be as a human
213:40 yourself as you would be as a human relation specialist but let us say you
213:42 relation specialist but let us say you want something very simple most people
213:44 want something very simple most people say that they major weak is that they
213:46 say that they major weak is that they are too impatient too intolerant they
213:49 are too impatient too intolerant they get angry too quickly irritable so on
213:52 get angry too quickly irritable so on maybe what you should do is start with
213:54 maybe what you should do is start with something very simple very important to
213:56 something very simple very important to start with something simple because if
213:57 start with something simple because if you can change something simple it
213:58 you can change something simple it proves to you that you can change
213:59 proves to you that you can change something large so you begin thinking
214:00 something large so you begin thinking about yourself let us say that you tend
214:02 about yourself let us say that you tend to be a little bit impatient or
214:03 to be a little bit impatient or short-tempered when you're tired or a
214:05 short-tempered when you're tired or a little bit irritable with your children
214:07 little bit irritable with your children or your spouse uh at the end of the day
214:09 or your spouse uh at the end of the day so then you begin thinking about
214:10 so then you begin thinking about yourself as you would be if you were a
214:14 yourself as you would be if you were a warm patient kind loving tolerant human
214:18 warm patient kind loving tolerant human being begin thinking about yourself in
214:20 being begin thinking about yourself in the situations where you normally become
214:22 the situations where you normally become cross and irritable and begin thinking
214:23 cross and irritable and begin thinking about yourself as being relaxed positive
214:26 about yourself as being relaxed positive supportive encouraging unruffled begin
214:29 supportive encouraging unruffled begin thinking about yourself as the ideal
214:31 thinking about yourself as the ideal think now who do you know who has the
214:34 think now who do you know who has the type of Personality now it can be a
214:35 type of Personality now it can be a television personality it can be Bill
214:37 television personality it can be Bill Cosby if you like it can be somebody
214:40 Cosby if you like it can be somebody that you admire in sports it can be
214:41 that you admire in sports it can be somebody whose biographies or stories
214:43 somebody whose biographies or stories you've read doesn't really matter but
214:44 you've read doesn't really matter but keep thinking about how would that
214:46 keep thinking about how would that person act in this situation one thing
214:49 person act in this situation one thing that many people do who are many
214:51 that many people do who are many Christians do is whenever they get into
214:53 Christians do is whenever they get into a difficult or stressful situation they
214:55 a difficult or stressful situation they say to themselves I wonder how Jesus
214:57 say to themselves I wonder how Jesus would act in this situation I wonder how
214:59 would act in this situation I wonder how Jesus would act if they were dealing
215:01 Jesus would act if they were dealing with a difficult person or I wonder how
215:03 with a difficult person or I wonder how Jesus would act if he were put in the
215:04 Jesus would act if he were put in the same position I'm in and what it does is
215:07 same position I'm in and what it does is irrespective of your belief what it does
215:09 irrespective of your belief what it does is it gives you a role model to pattern
215:11 is it gives you a role model to pattern yourself after the great tragedy of many
215:14 yourself after the great tragedy of many young people growing up in the inner
215:16 young people growing up in the inner cities today is that the role models
215:18 cities today is that the role models that they have are not positive role
215:20 that they have are not positive role models the people who are the most
215:22 models the people who are the most successful sometimes in the ghettos in
215:23 successful sometimes in the ghettos in the inner cities are not admirable
215:25 the inner cities are not admirable people who are working hard and building
215:27 people who are working hard and building families and businesses what they are is
215:29 families and businesses what they are is they're criminals who are engaging in
215:30 they're criminals who are engaging in criminal activities so the role models
215:32 criminal activities so the role models that you choose have a critical effect
215:34 that you choose have a critical effect on who you become so begin thinking
215:36 on who you become so begin thinking about yourself as you would like to be
215:40 about yourself as you would like to be as you would like to
215:43 as you would like to be now that's starting point point
215:46 be now that's starting point point because of the law of uh expression
215:49 because of the law of uh expression whatever is impressed is expressed if
215:51 whatever is impressed is expressed if you begin thinking about yourself you
215:53 you begin thinking about yourself you begin finding it's almost like turning
215:54 begin finding it's almost like turning the wheel of your personality you begin
215:57 the wheel of your personality you begin to become a different person now the
215:59 to become a different person now the third stage the third step is you begin
216:00 third stage the third step is you begin to
216:02 to visualize now what does visualize mean
216:04 visualize now what does visualize mean well there are thousands of books
216:05 well there are thousands of books written on visualization one of the most
216:07 written on visualization one of the most powerful of all human abilities is the
216:10 powerful of all human abilities is the ability to create clear mental pictures
216:13 ability to create clear mental pictures you see your subconscious which is where
216:16 you see your subconscious which is where all of your programming takes place is
216:19 all of your programming takes place is activated by mental
216:26 pictures combined with emotion so when you create clear mental pictures when
216:28 you create clear mental pictures when you begin to dwell on a clear mental
216:31 you begin to dwell on a clear mental picture of the person that you would
216:32 picture of the person that you would like to be you begin to close your eyes
216:34 like to be you begin to close your eyes or think about the person that you would
216:36 or think about the person that you would like to be the subconscious cannot tell
216:39 like to be the subconscious cannot tell the difference between a real experience
216:42 the difference between a real experience one that is actually happening to you
216:44 one that is actually happening to you and one that you vividly imagine
216:46 and one that you vividly imagine on the screen of your mind and this
216:48 on the screen of your mind and this method of visualization of creating a
216:50 method of visualization of creating a clear mental picture and then remember
216:52 clear mental picture and then remember we talked about the law of practice
216:53 we talked about the law of practice which is the law of
216:55 which is the law of repetition by practicing it over and
216:58 repetition by practicing it over and over and over again imagine for instance
217:00 over and over again imagine for instance that you wanted to become a proficient
217:02 that you wanted to become a proficient public
217:03 public speaker simple as that and let us say
217:05 speaker simple as that and let us say this is your this is you and this is
217:08 this is your this is you and this is your eyes and here is your conscious
217:11 your eyes and here is your conscious mind and here is your unconscious mind
217:13 mind and here is your unconscious mind let us say you wanted to become a
217:14 let us say you wanted to become a proficient public speaker well if you
217:15 proficient public speaker well if you went out and you gave a whole series of
217:17 went out and you gave a whole series of talks and you got positive response and
217:19 talks and you got positive response and people applauded and told you that it
217:20 people applauded and told you that it was a good talk and you did this over
217:22 was a good talk and you did this over and over again no matter how terrified
217:24 and over again no matter how terrified you are of public speaking right now if
217:26 you are of public speaking right now if you did it often enough gradually you
217:28 you did it often enough gradually you would store up enough memories to the
217:30 would store up enough memories to the point where you would feel no uneasiness
217:32 point where you would feel no uneasiness at all about speaking publicly now the
217:34 at all about speaking publicly now the reason I mentioned speaking publicly is
217:36 reason I mentioned speaking publicly is that something like 54% of the American
217:39 that something like 54% of the American public would rather die than give a talk
217:42 public would rather die than give a talk in public they put the fear of public
217:44 in public they put the fear of public speaking ahead of the fear of death it's
217:46 speaking ahead of the fear of death it's one of the greatest of all fears in our
217:47 one of the greatest of all fears in our society however no child is born
217:51 society however no child is born as afraid of public speaking no child is
217:53 as afraid of public speaking no child is comes into the world with a fear
217:55 comes into the world with a fear speaking in front of audiences as a
217:56 speaking in front of audiences as a matter of fact every one of us gave our
217:58 matter of fact every one of us gave our first public talk Stark naked upside
218:00 first public talk Stark naked upside down in front of a room full of
218:01 down in front of a room full of strangers if you remember that and it's
218:03 strangers if you remember that and it's been downhill for most of us ever since
218:05 been downhill for most of us ever since if you have a series of external
218:07 if you have a series of external experiences however and all of those
218:09 experiences however and all of those experiences are positive then they're
218:11 experiences are positive then they're stored away as positive reports in the
218:13 stored away as positive reports in the public speaking file however let us say
218:16 public speaking file however let us say that you have a tremendous feeling of
218:18 that you have a tremendous feeling of anxiety about speaking and that can come
218:20 anxiety about speaking and that can come from a hundred different reasons but you
218:22 from a hundred different reasons but you begin to play on the screen of your mind
218:25 begin to play on the screen of your mind you have this continuous real projector
218:27 you have this continuous real projector you begin to play on the screen of your
218:29 you begin to play on the screen of your mind a picture of yourself speaking
218:32 mind a picture of yourself speaking effectively in front of a group you
218:34 effectively in front of a group you begin to read about other people who
218:35 begin to read about other people who speak effectively you begin to read the
218:37 speak effectively you begin to read the books of successful speakers who tell
218:39 books of successful speakers who tell how they did it and how nervous they
218:40 how they did it and how nervous they were you begin to take a course and you
218:43 were you begin to take a course and you begin to study and you begin to learn
218:44 begin to study and you begin to learn how to do it you begin to learn how to
218:46 how to do it you begin to learn how to prepare and to outline a talk and You
218:47 prepare and to outline a talk and You Begin thinking about yourself over and
218:49 Begin thinking about yourself over and over again as capable of doing it the
218:51 over again as capable of doing it the picture that you play on the screen of
218:52 picture that you play on the screen of your mind is accepted by the
218:56 your mind is accepted by the subconscious as a real experience as
218:59 subconscious as a real experience as long as you vividly imagine it and this
219:01 long as you vividly imagine it and this is the key it is the vividness of the
219:04 is the key it is the vividness of the picture the more clearly you visualize
219:06 picture the more clearly you visualize it the more frequently you visualize it
219:08 it the more frequently you visualize it the more emotionally or intensely you
219:10 the more emotionally or intensely you visualize it and the longer you
219:12 visualize it and the longer you visualize it the more of an impact it
219:14 visualize it the more of an impact it has on the subconscious mind so that you
219:16 has on the subconscious mind so that you can in many respects actually become
219:19 can in many respects actually become halfway or 3ars of the way toward being
219:21 halfway or 3ars of the way toward being a competent speaker or being competent
219:23 a competent speaker or being competent in almost anything simply by visualizing
219:25 in almost anything simply by visualizing and playing this picture over and over
219:27 and playing this picture over and over again by the way I I use the example of
219:29 again by the way I I use the example of speaking in public for for a very
219:31 speaking in public for for a very specific reason most of us are afraid of
219:33 specific reason most of us are afraid of it and what I found is that if you can
219:34 it and what I found is that if you can use these methods of mental programming
219:36 use these methods of mental programming to eliminate one major fear that may be
219:39 to eliminate one major fear that may be holding you back in life you will prove
219:41 holding you back in life you will prove to yourself forever that you can
219:44 to yourself forever that you can eliminate any self limiting belief and
219:46 eliminate any self limiting belief and overcome it and go on to accomplish what
219:49 overcome it and go on to accomplish what you want I have given this advice to
219:51 you want I have given this advice to thousands of people it's simply this if
219:52 thousands of people it's simply this if you have an uneasiness with regard to
219:54 you have an uneasiness with regard to public speaking or any other fear but
219:55 public speaking or any other fear but public speaking for this example make
219:57 public speaking for this example make the decision right now to get over it
219:59 the decision right now to get over it now here's two ways that you can get
220:00 now here's two ways that you can get over it Toast Masters does this method
220:03 over it Toast Masters does this method work well I'll guarantee you that it
220:05 work well I'll guarantee you that it works Toast Masters was set up in 1923
220:08 works Toast Masters was set up in 1923 as an organization a voluntary
220:10 as an organization a voluntary organization groups of men and women
220:12 organization groups of men and women come together small groups they meet
220:14 come together small groups they meet once a week and they they have breakfast
220:15 once a week and they they have breakfast lunch and or dinner meetings and at each
220:17 lunch and or dinner meetings and at each meeting each person has a chance to talk
220:20 meeting each person has a chance to talk people who are so terrified of public
220:22 people who are so terrified of public speaking they could not lead silent
220:23 speaking they could not lead silent prayer in a phone booth after 10 or 15
220:26 prayer in a phone booth after 10 or 15 weeks in Toast Masters are capable of
220:28 weeks in Toast Masters are capable of standing up with one minute's notice and
220:30 standing up with one minute's notice and giving an ex extemporaneous talk in
220:32 giving an ex extemporaneous talk in front of an audience of strangers Toast
220:35 front of an audience of strangers Toast Masters works why it's because every
220:37 Masters works why it's because every single time a person stands up they get
220:39 single time a person stands up they get positive feedback they get correction
220:41 positive feedback they get correction they get advice they get Applause they
220:43 they get advice they get Applause they get support eventually what you is you
220:45 get support eventually what you is you build up a whole series of positive
220:47 build up a whole series of positive reports in your subconscious mind that
220:49 reports in your subconscious mind that says when it comes to public speaking
220:51 says when it comes to public speaking it's easy if you want to be effective at
220:53 it's easy if you want to be effective at selling if you want to be effective at
220:56 selling if you want to be effective at uh leading if you want to be effective
220:57 uh leading if you want to be effective as a parent if you want to be effective
220:59 as a parent if you want to be effective with other human beings all you have to
221:01 with other human beings all you have to do is practice over and over again and
221:04 do is practice over and over again and practice in your mind over and over
221:06 practice in your mind over and over until eventually you will find that when
221:08 until eventually you will find that when you think about whatever it is the fear
221:10 you think about whatever it is the fear level will go down confidence level will
221:13 level will go down confidence level will go up by the way one other area that you
221:15 go up by the way one other area that you can go to if you want to learn to be
221:17 can go to if you want to learn to be more capable speaking is Dale Carnegie
221:19 more capable speaking is Dale Carnegie Dale Carnegie has a wonderful
221:21 Dale Carnegie has a wonderful course is this called the Dale Carnegie
221:23 course is this called the Dale Carnegie course which really helps people become
221:25 course which really helps people become proficient in public speaking over 10 to
221:27 proficient in public speaking over 10 to 14 weeks you get an opportunity every
221:29 14 weeks you get an opportunity every single week to get up and speak in front
221:31 single week to get up and speak in front of your
221:37 peers the next is affirmations now with affirmations your potential is unlimited
221:40 affirmations your potential is unlimited affirmations are the most
221:43 affirmations are the most powerful words that you can Poss posibly
221:45 powerful words that you can Poss posibly say affirmations are based on what we
221:47 say affirmations are based on what we call the
221:48 call the 3ps in that with affirmations we
221:51 3ps in that with affirmations we reprogram ourselves unconsciously
221:53 reprogram ourselves unconsciously affirmations are strong positive
221:56 affirmations are strong positive assertive statements that you say about
221:58 assertive statements that you say about yourself to yourself and believe and
222:01 yourself to yourself and believe and they're based on the three PS and the
222:03 they're based on the three PS and the P's are first of all personal all
222:05 P's are first of all personal all affirmations all statements that you say
222:07 affirmations all statements that you say to yourself have to be couched in the
222:09 to yourself have to be couched in the personal tense the I if you say I like
222:13 personal tense the I if you say I like myself I like myself I like myself when
222:18 myself I like myself I like myself when you say I like myself it accesses the
222:20 you say I like myself it accesses the subconscious directly every single
222:22 subconscious directly every single command that begins with an i opens the
222:25 command that begins with an i opens the subconscious mind and says valuable
222:27 subconscious mind and says valuable information coming down prepare or get
222:30 information coming down prepare or get ready and also positive all affirmative
222:35 ready and also positive all affirmative all affirmative statements must be
222:37 all affirmative statements must be couched in the positive tense because
222:38 couched in the positive tense because the subconscious mind filters out
222:40 the subconscious mind filters out negatives and only takes the words that
222:43 negatives and only takes the words that you the the the positive
222:45 you the the the positive uh expression for example if you didn't
222:47 uh expression for example if you didn't want to if you wanted to quit smoking
222:48 want to if you wanted to quit smoking you wouldn't say I don't smoke anymore I
222:50 you wouldn't say I don't smoke anymore I don't smoke anymore you would say I am a
222:53 don't smoke anymore you would say I am a nonsmoker I am a non-smoker the words I
222:56 nonsmoker I am a non-smoker the words I am are two of the most powerful words in
223:00 am are two of the most powerful words in mental programming when you say I am CU
223:02 mental programming when you say I am CU only you can say I am about you in the
223:05 only you can say I am about you in the whole world nobody else can use those
223:07 whole world nobody else can use those two words with regard to you and your
223:09 two words with regard to you and your subconscious recognizes it when you say
223:11 subconscious recognizes it when you say I am responsible I am responsible you
223:14 I am responsible I am responsible you can actually feel the impact of these
223:17 can actually feel the impact of these words on your unconscious mind you can
223:20 words on your unconscious mind you can feel the words I am responsible and feel
223:22 feel the words I am responsible and feel their effect on your emotions now the
223:25 their effect on your emotions now the third is that they must be in the
223:27 third is that they must be in the present
223:27 present tense not I will lose weight or I will
223:30 tense not I will lose weight or I will quit smoking or I will get a better job
223:33 quit smoking or I will get a better job but I have a better job I weigh X number
223:36 but I have a better job I weigh X number of pounds I earn X number of dollars I
223:40 of pounds I earn X number of dollars I earn X number of dollars whatever it
223:43 earn X number of dollars whatever it happens to be you always praise it in
223:45 happens to be you always praise it in the present tense because the
223:46 the present tense because the subconscious mind can only take language
223:49 subconscious mind can only take language that is couched in the now this is very
223:53 that is couched in the now this is very very important that when we are
223:55 very important that when we are reprogramming the subconscious mind when
223:57 reprogramming the subconscious mind when you visualize it's in the now when you
224:00 you visualize it's in the now when you affirm it's in the now when you think
224:02 affirm it's in the now when you think about yourself as you would like to be
224:04 about yourself as you would like to be it is always in the now the subconscious
224:07 it is always in the now the subconscious mind is by the way it's very literal so
224:10 mind is by the way it's very literal so when you create affirmations and you can
224:12 when you create affirmations and you can create affirmations for every goal that
224:14 create affirmations for every goal that you can imagine I earn X number of
224:17 you can imagine I earn X number of dollars I weigh X number of pounds I am
224:20 dollars I weigh X number of pounds I am a kind loving human being I am
224:23 a kind loving human being I am disciplined and industrious and fidus I
224:25 disciplined and industrious and fidus I am a good driver I am punctual I like
224:28 am a good driver I am punctual I like myself I am responsible I feel great I
224:31 myself I am responsible I feel great I feel happy I have health I have energy
224:34 feel happy I have health I have energy interesting affirmation if you repeat
224:36 interesting affirmation if you repeat the affirmation over and over again I
224:37 the affirmation over and over again I have health I have energy I have health
224:40 have health I have energy I have health I have energy you can actually build up
224:42 I have energy you can actually build up your body's resistance to things like
224:44 your body's resistance to things like colds and flu we'll talk about this a
224:47 colds and flu we'll talk about this a little bit later but very often we get
224:49 little bit later but very often we get sick because we decide to get sick or we
224:51 sick because we decide to get sick or we get sick because we let our minds and
224:52 get sick because we let our minds and bod's coast and we can actually drive a
224:55 bod's coast and we can actually drive a cold out of our systems by repeating the
224:58 cold out of our systems by repeating the affirmation over and over again I have
224:59 affirmation over and over again I have health I am healthy I
225:03 health I am healthy I am strong I feel great I feel
225:07 am strong I feel great I feel wonderful so couch your affirmations in
225:09 wonderful so couch your affirmations in your visualizations when you close your
225:11 your visualizations when you close your eyes see yourself as though you had the
225:14 eyes see yourself as though you had the characteristic quality right now speak
225:16 characteristic quality right now speak in terms of having the characteristic or
225:19 in terms of having the characteristic or quality right now and as we said before
225:21 quality right now and as we said before with regard to emotion imagine the
225:23 with regard to emotion imagine the feeling that would accompany the mental
225:26 feeling that would accompany the mental picture imagine the feeling that would
225:28 picture imagine the feeling that would accompany the words when you say I like
225:30 accompany the words when you say I like myself you don't say I like myself you
225:32 myself you don't say I like myself you say I like myself I like myself I like
225:35 say I like myself I like myself I like myself imagine when you when you say I I
225:38 myself imagine when you when you say I I am responsive you don't say I am
225:39 am responsive you don't say I am responsible you say I am responsible I
225:42 responsible you say I am responsible I am responsible in other words
225:44 am responsible in other words emotionalize it wrap it up with emotion
225:47 emotionalize it wrap it up with emotion drive it into the subconscious mind like
225:48 drive it into the subconscious mind like a Detonator and the effect that it will
225:51 a Detonator and the effect that it will have on your personality and your on and
225:52 have on your personality and your on and on your feelings will be
225:55 on your feelings will be tremendous now again with regard to
225:57 tremendous now again with regard to affirmations what I use is I use a
225:59 affirmations what I use is I use a series of index cards and you can put
226:01 series of index cards and you can put your affirmations your positive present
226:03 your affirmations your positive present tense personal statements on
226:05 tense personal statements on affirmations and review those
226:06 affirmations and review those affirmations over and over again every
226:08 affirmations over and over again every time you review them every time you
226:09 time you review them every time you think about them every time you repeat
226:11 think about them every time you repeat them and drive them into the
226:12 them and drive them into the subconscious mind every time you impress
226:14 subconscious mind every time you impress them you increase the potential for them
226:17 them you increase the potential for them to be expressed externally now one final
226:20 to be expressed externally now one final thing is when you use affirmations try
226:23 thing is when you use affirmations try to keep your daily words and actions
226:25 to keep your daily words and actions consistent with your affirmations try to
226:28 consistent with your affirmations try to keep the things that you say when you're
226:29 keep the things that you say when you're walking around and the things that you
226:30 walking around and the things that you do consistent with the words that you
226:32 do consistent with the words that you say to yourself in private all right the
226:35 say to yourself in private all right the next thing that we do is what is called
226:38 next thing that we do is what is called verbalization
226:41 verbalization verbalization is speaking aloud speaking
226:45 verbalization is speaking aloud speaking your affirmations aloud now there's two
226:47 your affirmations aloud now there's two ways that you can do
226:49 ways that you can do this best to do it in private but
226:52 this best to do it in private but basically you increase the
226:55 basically you increase the impact of a an affirmation by as much as
226:59 impact of a an affirmation by as much as 80% and even more when you say it out
227:01 80% and even more when you say it out loud if you say to yourself I like
227:03 loud if you say to yourself I like myself but if you say I like myself or I
227:06 myself but if you say I like myself or I feel terrific or I feel wonderful or I
227:08 feel terrific or I feel wonderful or I am responsible I earn $50,000 a year
227:12 am responsible I earn $50,000 a year when I first learned about this process
227:14 when I first learned about this process my goal was to earn $50,000 a year and I
227:17 my goal was to earn $50,000 a year and I realized that the only way I could ever
227:18 realized that the only way I could ever earn $50,000 a year was by repeating
227:20 earn $50,000 a year was by repeating this over and over again and
227:22 this over and over again and surprisingly enough when I began doing
227:23 surprisingly enough when I began doing it I was not making anywhere near
227:25 it I was not making anywhere near $50,000 and I was very very skeptical of
227:28 $50,000 and I was very very skeptical of whether or not it would work I can only
227:30 whether or not it would work I can only tell you from the bottom of my heart
227:31 tell you from the bottom of my heart that it does work so verbalize it
227:33 that it does work so verbalize it another thing that you can do is in
227:34 another thing that you can do is in front of a
227:36 front of a mirror if you Vis if you verbalize in
227:39 mirror if you Vis if you verbalize in front of a mirror you have two impacts
227:41 front of a mirror you have two impacts working simultaneously you have the
227:43 working simultaneously you have the impact of what you can see plus what you
227:46 impact of what you can see plus what you are saying plus if you emotionalize what
227:48 are saying plus if you emotionalize what you are saying you have three access
227:50 you are saying you have three access points to reprogramming the subconscious
227:53 points to reprogramming the subconscious working simultaneously so you stand in
227:55 working simultaneously so you stand in front of a mirror you can say in front
227:56 front of a mirror you can say in front of the mirror you can say I feel
227:58 of the mirror you can say I feel terrific or I look great or I look great
228:00 terrific or I look great or I look great or you can say you look great because
228:02 or you can say you look great because when we talk to ourselves in front of
228:04 when we talk to ourselves in front of every now you mustn't do this in a
228:05 every now you mustn't do this in a public washroom when there's other
228:06 public washroom when there's other people around because they may think
228:07 people around because they may think you're a little bit strange but
228:09 you're a little bit strange but nonetheless
228:10 nonetheless verbalization is a very important part
228:14 verbalization is a very important part of driving this message into the
228:16 of driving this message into the subconscious remember the key to this is
228:18 subconscious remember the key to this is whatever you can hold in your mind on a
228:20 whatever you can hold in your mind on a continuing basis you can have the only
228:22 continuing basis you can have the only question is can you repeat it long
228:24 question is can you repeat it long enough and hard enough often enough to
228:27 enough and hard enough often enough to impress it permanently in the
228:29 impress it permanently in the subconscious mind once you impress it
228:31 subconscious mind once you impress it permanently in the subconscious mind it
228:33 permanently in the subconscious mind it takes on a power of its own that will
228:37 takes on a power of its own that will eventually bring it into your reality at
228:39 eventually bring it into your reality at exactly the right time and exactly the
228:41 exactly the right time and exactly the right way for you and this brings us to
228:44 right way for you and this brings us to the next method
228:45 the next method which is the method
228:47 which is the method of assume the
228:51 of assume the role assume the role assume the part you
228:55 role assume the role assume the part you see one of the most important
228:57 see one of the most important discoveries that we have made in
228:59 discoveries that we have made in behavioral psychology is this is that if
229:02 behavioral psychology is this is that if you feel a particular way if you have
229:05 you feel a particular way if you have the particular emotions the feelings
229:08 the particular emotions the feelings will lead to actions we've talked about
229:09 will lead to actions we've talked about this before that we act in a way
229:12 this before that we act in a way consistent with our feelings however
229:14 consistent with our feelings however what we found is that most of us do not
229:16 what we found is that most of us do not start off feeling motivated most of us
229:19 start off feeling motivated most of us do not start off feeling positive most
229:22 do not start off feeling positive most of us do not start off
229:24 of us do not start off feeling confident and capable of
229:26 feeling confident and capable of accomplishing our goals most of us start
229:28 accomplishing our goals most of us start off feeling average to negative however
229:32 off feeling average to negative however if you will act exactly as if you had
229:35 if you will act exactly as if you had the feeling the action will generate the
229:39 the feeling the action will generate the emotion just as the emotion generates
229:41 emotion just as the emotion generates the feeling in other words you can act
229:43 the feeling in other words you can act your way into into feeling this is very
229:46 your way into into feeling this is very important you can act your way into
229:48 important you can act your way into feeling have you ever had the occasion
229:50 feeling have you ever had the occasion where you are sitting comfortably
229:52 where you are sitting comfortably relaxed and somebody says come on let's
229:54 relaxed and somebody says come on let's go and do this or let's get up and do
229:56 go and do this or let's get up and do that you say no no no I'm comfortable
229:57 that you say no no no I'm comfortable remember you're into your comfort zone
229:59 remember you're into your comfort zone Comfort is a great killer of human
230:01 Comfort is a great killer of human potential you say no no no they say oh
230:02 potential you say no no no they say oh come on just get up and do a little bit
230:04 come on just get up and do a little bit so you you get up just a little bit and
230:06 so you you get up just a little bit and you move just a little bit and as you
230:07 you move just a little bit and as you begin to move you start to get into the
230:09 begin to move you start to get into the swing of it and pretty soon you get into
230:11 swing of it and pretty soon you get into it completely and you're you totally
230:13 it completely and you're you totally forget about going back to the or the
230:15 forget about going back to the or the chair that you were in well you can act
230:16 chair that you were in well you can act your way into feeling you can act your
230:18 your way into feeling you can act your way into feeling almost anything we call
230:20 way into feeling almost anything we call this if you like pretending pretend that
230:23 this if you like pretending pretend that you have the quality already for
230:26 you have the quality already for instance if you want to be courageous
230:29 instance if you want to be courageous and una afraid pretend that you're
230:31 and una afraid pretend that you're courageous and unafraid already if you
230:33 courageous and unafraid already if you want to be confident pretend that you
230:35 want to be confident pretend that you have the confidence there's an old
230:37 have the confidence there's an old saying that says fake it until you make
230:39 saying that says fake it until you make it fake it until you make
230:42 it fake it until you make it remember we talked about about the
230:45 it remember we talked about about the gentleman who was told that he was The
230:47 gentleman who was told that he was The Reincarnation of Napoleon that what he
230:51 Reincarnation of Napoleon that what he all he had to do was he had to act like
230:53 all he had to do was he had to act like Napoleon and realize that he had this
230:55 Napoleon and realize that he had this cultural history behind him that he had
230:57 cultural history behind him that he had the decisiveness the power the Courage
231:00 the decisiveness the power the Courage the genius the Brilliance the tenacity
231:02 the genius the Brilliance the tenacity the foresight of one of the world's
231:04 the foresight of one of the world's great leaders well this acting this
231:07 great leaders well this acting this pretending this assuming the role is a
231:09 pretending this assuming the role is a critical part of actually becoming that
231:11 critical part of actually becoming that person if you want to be the finest
231:13 person if you want to be the finest salesperson in your organization if you
231:15 salesperson in your organization if you want to be a superb executive if you
231:17 want to be a superb executive if you want to be a tremendous technician if
231:18 want to be a tremendous technician if you want to be an excellent Medical
231:20 you want to be an excellent Medical Professional if you want to be the best
231:22 Professional if you want to be the best mother or the best father if you want to
231:24 mother or the best father if you want to be excellent in athletics there's a
231:27 be excellent in athletics there's a entire body of work today in neural
231:29 entire body of work today in neural linguistic programming and what is
231:31 linguistic programming and what is called the inner game of winning that
231:33 called the inner game of winning that says that if you want to be a better
231:35 says that if you want to be a better tennis player for instance what you do
231:38 tennis player for instance what you do is you imagine that you were a
231:40 is you imagine that you were a championship tennis player imagine that
231:43 championship tennis player imagine that you are Arthur Ash or Jimmy Connors or
231:45 you are Arthur Ash or Jimmy Connors or Chris ever Lloyd or U Maria nevat
231:50 Chris ever Lloyd or U Maria nevat whatever her name is Nevada or one of
231:52 whatever her name is Nevada or one of the great tennis players and play tennis
231:54 the great tennis players and play tennis exactly as if you were one of those play
231:57 exactly as if you were one of those play tennis as as though you were them and in
231:59 tennis as as though you were them and in their body and on the court and you know
232:01 their body and on the court and you know what will happen is that judges and
232:03 what will happen is that judges and people observing a person doing this
232:05 people observing a person doing this find that you will hit more accurately
232:07 find that you will hit more accurately you hit with more Force you are better
232:10 you hit with more Force you are better you are more confident you're more
232:11 you are more confident you're more capable golfers another example is if
232:14 capable golfers another example is if you want want to be a great golfer is
232:16 you want want to be a great golfer is imagine that you are already a great
232:17 imagine that you are already a great golfer if you want to be a great
232:19 golfer if you want to be a great salesperson imagine that you are already
232:21 salesperson imagine that you are already a great salesperson and walk talk carry
232:24 a great salesperson and walk talk carry act as though you had the part already
232:27 act as though you had the part already dress the part dress look at yourself in
232:29 dress the part dress look at yourself in the mirror and say do I look the part of
232:32 the mirror and say do I look the part of a great golfer do I look the part of the
232:34 a great golfer do I look the part of the executive the salesman or the saleswoman
232:36 executive the salesman or the saleswoman or whatever it happens to be that I
232:37 or whatever it happens to be that I would like to be these four we call this
232:40 would like to be these four we call this the vava VA VA VA VA actually I should
232:45 the vava VA VA VA VA actually I should do it this way VA a VA these are the
232:49 do it this way VA a VA these are the keys to Rapid personality change the V
232:53 keys to Rapid personality change the V is for
232:54 is for visualization visualize and play the
232:56 visualization visualize and play the picture of the desired person you would
232:58 picture of the desired person you would like to be over and over again until it
233:01 like to be over and over again until it is accepted by the subconscious as a
233:03 is accepted by the subconscious as a reality remember the subconscious obeys
233:05 reality remember the subconscious obeys your conscious commands if you command
233:08 your conscious commands if you command the subconscious and you command the
233:10 the subconscious and you command the subconscious by the thoughts you hold in
233:12 subconscious by the thoughts you hold in your conscious mind by the thoughts that
233:14 your conscious mind by the thoughts that you dwell upon the law of concentration
233:17 you dwell upon the law of concentration if you hold that thought in your mind on
233:19 if you hold that thought in your mind on a continuing basis eventually it clicks
233:22 a continuing basis eventually it clicks into the subconscious and it takes on a
233:24 into the subconscious and it takes on a power of its own the second is to affirm
233:27 power of its own the second is to affirm and affirm over and over
233:29 and affirm over and over again there are many people who say that
233:31 again there are many people who say that they would rather go without breakfast
233:33 they would rather go without breakfast than go without their affirmations each
233:35 than go without their affirmations each morning speak to yourself positively use
233:37 morning speak to yourself positively use positive selft talk all the time
233:40 positive selft talk all the time remember you talk to yourself at the
233:41 remember you talk to yourself at the rate of almost 1500 words a minute most
233:43 rate of almost 1500 words a minute most people talk talk to themselves in terms
233:45 people talk talk to themselves in terms of doubt and fear and worry and anxiety
233:47 of doubt and fear and worry and anxiety talk to yourself positive I can do it I
233:49 talk to yourself positive I can do it I can do it I can do it I can do it just
233:51 can do it I can do it I can do it just repeating I can do it I can do it over
233:53 repeating I can do it I can do it over and over again boost your
233:54 and over again boost your self-confidence and boost your
233:56 self-confidence and boost your self-esteem when you have nothing else
233:57 self-esteem when you have nothing else to do say I like myself I like myself I
233:59 to do say I like myself I like myself I like myself I like myself because saying
234:00 like myself I like myself because saying I like myself or I love myself expands
234:03 I like myself or I love myself expands your ability and your capacity in every
234:05 your ability and your capacity in every area of your life also verbalize speak
234:08 area of your life also verbalize speak out loud make sure the things that you
234:10 out loud make sure the things that you say out loud are consistent with the
234:12 say out loud are consistent with the person that you want to be and the
234:13 person that you want to be and the things that you want want to do
234:15 things that you want want to do verbalize and say I like myself don't
234:16 verbalize and say I like myself don't say allow things that like I'm never on
234:19 say allow things that like I'm never on time I can't lose weight uh I can't quit
234:22 time I can't lose weight uh I can't quit smoking I wish I could and so on but
234:23 smoking I wish I could and so on but always speak in positive terms remember
234:26 always speak in positive terms remember that you can almost double the force of
234:29 that you can almost double the force of an affirmation by speaking it loud if
234:30 an affirmation by speaking it loud if you speak it really loud I like myself I
234:32 you speak it really loud I like myself I like myself I like myself you speak it
234:34 like myself I like myself you speak it really loud and really strong it has
234:37 really loud and really strong it has double triple sometimes several times
234:38 double triple sometimes several times the impact and finally assume the role
234:41 the impact and finally assume the role pretend as though you already had the
234:43 pretend as though you already had the part assume the role imagine you've been
234:45 part assume the role imagine you've been hired to play the role of an extremely
234:48 hired to play the role of an extremely successful person in a Broadway play and
234:51 successful person in a Broadway play and in this in this role what you are going
234:53 in this in this role what you are going to do is you're going to walk talk and
234:55 to do is you're going to walk talk and act as though you were the success as
234:57 act as though you were the success as though you were the role model as though
235:00 though you were the role model as though you were the ideal image of the perfect
235:02 you were the ideal image of the perfect person that you want to become and if
235:05 person that you want to become and if you walk it talk it pretend it visualize
235:07 you walk it talk it pretend it visualize it think it and affirm it over and over
235:09 it think it and affirm it over and over again that is the person that you become
235:13 again that is the person that you become as inevitably as the sun rising in the
235:15 as inevitably as the sun rising in the East and setting in the west and in the
235:19 East and setting in the west and in the next session I'll tell you more about
235:21 next session I'll tell you more about how to in incorporate these personality
235:23 how to in incorporate these personality attributes into your
235:39 character session 11 the new mental diet back in the 1930s a man named Gaylord
235:41 back in the 1930s a man named Gaylord Hower shocked the medical world by
235:43 Hower shocked the medical world by coming out with a series of claims and
235:46 coming out with a series of claims and statements that said that everything
235:48 statements that said that everything that we ate in some way affected our
235:50 that we ate in some way affected our body he said that everything that you
235:53 body he said that everything that you eat is translated into something and has
235:55 eat is translated into something and has a positive or negative effect and he
235:57 a positive or negative effect and he wrote a book called the new diet does it
235:59 wrote a book called the new diet does it now in this session and the previous
236:01 now in this session and the previous sessions we've been talking about the
236:02 sessions we've been talking about the new mental diet and just as everything
236:05 new mental diet and just as everything that you eat has an effect on your
236:07 that you eat has an effect on your physical body everything that you take
236:09 physical body everything that you take into your mind has an effect on your
236:12 into your mind has an effect on your mental body on what's going on ins
236:14 mental body on what's going on ins inside you which determines what happens
236:16 inside you which determines what happens around you when we were talking a little
236:17 around you when we were talking a little bit earlier we said that the power of
236:20 bit earlier we said that the power of suggestion is one of the most important
236:21 suggestion is one of the most important powers in your life the power of
236:23 powers in your life the power of suggestion says that everything that you
236:25 suggestion says that everything that you take in everything that you think about
236:28 take in everything that you think about everything that you read everything that
236:29 everything that you read everything that you listen to all of your conversations
236:32 you listen to all of your conversations radio television newspaper books papers
236:34 radio television newspaper books papers magazines everything that you allow to
236:37 magazines everything that you allow to influence your thinking affects your
236:40 influence your thinking affects your subconscious mind affects your attitudes
236:42 subconscious mind affects your attitudes your expectations your values your
236:44 your expectations your values your beliefs and ultimately your potential as
236:47 beliefs and ultimately your potential as a human being in fact the great
236:49 a human being in fact the great difference between human beings is not
236:51 difference between human beings is not intelligence and not education and not
236:53 intelligence and not education and not opportunity it is what they are feeding
236:56 opportunity it is what they are feeding into their minds on a regular basis now
236:58 into their minds on a regular basis now we also said and it's the same thing if
237:00 we also said and it's the same thing if you were to say well yes I eat good food
237:03 you were to say well yes I eat good food a lot of the time but some of the time
237:04 a lot of the time but some of the time or 50% of the time I eat junk food I eat
237:07 or 50% of the time I eat junk food I eat food that's high in salt high in sugar
237:09 food that's high in salt high in sugar uh low in nutrition uh inert Foods dead
237:12 uh low in nutrition uh inert Foods dead Foods white flour French grease and so
237:15 Foods white flour French grease and so on but it doesn't bother me it doesn't
237:17 on but it doesn't bother me it doesn't have any effect on my body you would
237:20 have any effect on my body you would know that that is nonsense because
237:22 know that that is nonsense because everything counts everything counts one
237:25 everything counts everything counts one of the marks of a truly honest person is
237:29 of the marks of a truly honest person is that they accept reality and reality is
237:33 that they accept reality and reality is that everything that you do mentally or
237:35 that everything that you do mentally or physically counts and it's either
237:37 physically counts and it's either positive it's either helping you moving
237:40 positive it's either helping you moving you toward what you want to be and have
237:42 you toward what you want to be and have and do or it's negative it's moving you
237:45 and do or it's negative it's moving you away but nothing is neutral everything
237:48 away but nothing is neutral everything counts so with regard to the power of
237:49 counts so with regard to the power of suggestion let's go on and talk about
237:51 suggestion let's go on and talk about how we complete this process of
237:54 how we complete this process of reprogramming ourselves so that inside
237:57 reprogramming ourselves so that inside we are totally successful human beings
238:00 we are totally successful human beings so that outside we will be totally
238:02 so that outside we will be totally positive enthusiastic successful human
238:05 positive enthusiastic successful human beings feed your mind the same way you
238:08 beings feed your mind the same way you would feed your body feed your mind
238:11 would feed your body feed your mind carefully if you were concerned about
238:13 carefully if you were concerned about physical iCal Health and Longevity you
238:15 physical iCal Health and Longevity you would measure and calculate and look
238:17 would measure and calculate and look into the foods you eat look carefully
238:20 into the foods you eat look carefully into the mental foods that you eat too
238:22 into the mental foods that you eat too because these mental Foods by a process
238:25 because these mental Foods by a process what we call the law of accumulation now
238:28 what we call the law of accumulation now the law of accumulation is both a mental
238:30 the law of accumulation is both a mental law as well as a physical law and what
238:32 law as well as a physical law and what it says is that every single thing that
238:34 it says is that every single thing that you do positive or negative accumulates
238:37 you do positive or negative accumulates that every single great achievement in
238:39 that every single great achievement in life is the result of thousands of
238:41 life is the result of thousands of ordinary achievements struggles
238:44 ordinary achievements struggles fallbacks failures minor disappointments
238:47 fallbacks failures minor disappointments every single big accomplishment is
238:49 every single big accomplishment is preceded by thousands of tiny little
238:51 preceded by thousands of tiny little accomplishments every overnight success
238:54 accomplishments every overnight success is preceded by years and years and years
238:56 is preceded by years and years and years of working off Broadway every single
238:58 of working off Broadway every single great Fortune by the way in studying
239:00 great Fortune by the way in studying self-made millionaires in America do you
239:02 self-made millionaires in America do you know what we found is the average time
239:03 know what we found is the average time that it takes to become a millionaire in
239:05 that it takes to become a millionaire in America is over 20 years of hard work in
239:09 America is over 20 years of hard work in other words we see a person who is
239:10 other words we see a person who is wealthy got a beautiful home beautiful
239:12 wealthy got a beautiful home beautiful car financially independent but we don't
239:14 car financially independent but we don't realize that there are years and years
239:15 realize that there are years and years and years of hard work struggle and
239:18 and years of hard work struggle and sacrifice that preceded it we see the
239:20 sacrifice that preceded it we see the person we see the end result and we say
239:21 person we see the end result and we say isn't that person lucky well the fact of
239:23 isn't that person lucky well the fact of the matter is that there's no luck
239:25 the matter is that there's no luck there's just this long process of
239:26 there's just this long process of accumulation and everything counts every
239:29 accumulation and everything counts every single honest effort that you make
239:31 single honest effort that you make toward becoming a better person
239:34 toward becoming a better person accumulates like a snowball and has an
239:36 accumulates like a snowball and has an effect every single time you do
239:39 effect every single time you do something that takes you away that
239:40 something that takes you away that wastes your time waste your mind waste
239:42 wastes your time waste your mind waste your thought and so on that has an
239:44 your thought and so on that has an effect too and that accumulates now the
239:47 effect too and that accumulates now the great mistake that many people make is
239:48 great mistake that many people make is they go a little bit forward and a
239:50 they go a little bit forward and a little bit backward they do a few things
239:52 little bit backward they do a few things that are good for their mind and a few
239:53 that are good for their mind and a few things that are crummy for their mind
239:54 things that are crummy for their mind and a few things that are good and a few
239:56 and a few things that are good and a few things that are crummy and you know
239:57 things that are crummy and you know where they end up exactly where they
239:58 where they end up exactly where they started the good offsets the bad what
240:02 started the good offsets the bad what you have to do is you have to put
240:03 you have to do is you have to put yourself on the side of the Angels so
240:05 yourself on the side of the Angels so that your predominant intakes of mental
240:08 that your predominant intakes of mental food are positive and constructive and
240:11 food are positive and constructive and moving you in the direction that you
240:12 moving you in the direction that you want to go in so we feed your mind
240:14 want to go in so we feed your mind number one is read only reading is
240:18 number one is read only reading is reading many people today don't like to
240:20 reading many people today don't like to read but all leaders are readers all
240:23 read but all leaders are readers all leaders are readers read and try to read
240:26 leaders are readers read and try to read an average of 1 hour per day we know
240:28 an average of 1 hour per day we know that if you read 1 hour per day over the
240:31 that if you read 1 hour per day over the course of the day in something that
240:33 course of the day in something that builds your mind something positive and
240:34 builds your mind something positive and constructive that builds your mind not
240:36 constructive that builds your mind not newspapers not wasted things that just
240:39 newspapers not wasted things that just preoccupy your mind but something that
240:41 preoccupy your mind but something that builds you and develops you one hour per
240:44 builds you and develops you one hour per day can change your life research shows
240:46 day can change your life research shows that 1 hour per day in 2 to 3 years you
240:50 that 1 hour per day in 2 to 3 years you will be an authority on your subject on
240:52 will be an authority on your subject on studying any subject from time
240:54 studying any subject from time management to Nuclear Physics one hour
240:56 management to Nuclear Physics one hour per day will make you an authority 3 to
240:58 per day will make you an authority 3 to 5 years will make you an
241:01 5 years will make you an expert and 5 to seven years will make
241:04 expert and 5 to seven years will make you an international Authority make you
241:07 you an international Authority make you one of the most knowledgeable people in
241:09 one of the most knowledgeable people in that field in the world in just 1 hour a
241:12 that field in the world in just 1 hour a day in any subject and you can pick
241:13 day in any subject and you can pick anything from medicine to uh molecular
241:16 anything from medicine to uh molecular biology so read an hour per day recent
241:19 biology so read an hour per day recent study shows that the average adult in
241:22 study shows that the average adult in North America reads less than one book a
241:25 North America reads less than one book a year that 58% of adults in the United
241:28 year that 58% of adults in the United States and
241:29 States and Canada never finish a non-fiction book
241:32 Canada never finish a non-fiction book after they leave high school when they
241:34 after they leave high school when they leave high school you know what they say
241:35 leave high school you know what they say or they leave University they say thank
241:37 or they leave University they say thank heavens this is over I'll never read
241:39 heavens this is over I'll never read another book as long as I live and they
241:42 another book as long as I live and they can't understand why they stop stop
241:44 can't understand why they stop stop growing it is only reading that causes
241:47 growing it is only reading that causes your mind to stretch and grow
241:49 your mind to stretch and grow conversation is good listening is good
241:52 conversation is good listening is good courses and classes are good watching
241:54 courses and classes are good watching videotape instruction is good of course
241:57 videotape instruction is good of course uh but only reading is reading and
241:59 uh but only reading is reading and there's no subst people say well I'm not
242:01 there's no subst people say well I'm not a good reader I didn't learn to read
242:02 a good reader I didn't learn to read well in school good and set that as one
242:05 well in school good and set that as one of your goals to become an excellent
242:07 of your goals to become an excellent reader in one year of remedial reading
242:10 reader in one year of remedial reading at an evening course you can be reading
242:11 at an evening course you can be reading 3 four 500 Words a minute and change
242:14 3 four 500 Words a minute and change your life in fact according to uh the
242:16 your life in fact according to uh the Gallup organization's poll on who's who
242:18 Gallup organization's poll on who's who in America the Great American success
242:20 in America the Great American success story they found that the top people the
242:23 story they found that the top people the top 1% in this country read an average
242:26 top 1% in this country read an average of 12 non-fiction books per year that
242:29 of 12 non-fiction books per year that means that you can join the top 1% in
242:32 means that you can join the top 1% in the nation by simply reading one book
242:35 the nation by simply reading one book per month one non-fiction book that
242:38 per month one non-fiction book that develops your mind and expands your
242:39 develops your mind and expands your ability to think in a subject that
242:41 ability to think in a subject that interests you one book a month will put
242:43 interests you one book a month will put you in the top 1% in a very short period
242:46 you in the top 1% in a very short period of time if you were to read 30 to 60
242:48 of time if you were to read 30 to 60 minutes each day as I'll recommend later
242:50 minutes each day as I'll recommend later 30 to 60 minutes each day would
242:52 30 to 60 minutes each day would translate into a book per week a book
242:55 translate into a book per week a book per week would translate into over 50
242:56 per week would translate into over 50 books a year now just imagine if you
242:58 books a year now just imagine if you were to Read 50 books a year for the
242:59 were to Read 50 books a year for the next 10 years how many books would that
243:01 next 10 years how many books would that be that would be about 500 books if you
243:04 be that would be about 500 books if you can work it out now let me ask you a
243:06 can work it out now let me ask you a very simple question do you think that
243:08 very simple question do you think that if you read one book a week for the next
243:10 if you read one book a week for the next 10 years in a world where the average
243:12 10 years in a world where the average person reads less than one book a year
243:14 person reads less than one book a year do you think that would give you the
243:15 do you think that would give you the edge do you think that would affect your
243:18 edge do you think that would affect your life in any way do you think that would
243:19 life in any way do you think that would change your career and your income do
243:21 change your career and your income do you think it would change your
243:22 you think it would change your environment do you think it would change
243:24 environment do you think it would change everything that goes on around you you
243:26 everything that goes on around you you bet your bippi it would because by the
243:27 bet your bippi it would because by the power of suggestion by feeding your mind
243:29 power of suggestion by feeding your mind with new information 500 books in 10
243:32 with new information 500 books in 10 years will transform your life in such a
243:34 years will transform your life in such a way that you will never be able to
243:36 way that you will never be able to recognize it right the next thing with
243:38 recognize it right the next thing with regard to feeding your mind is listen to
243:42 regard to feeding your mind is listen to tapes the discovery of audio cassette
243:45 tapes the discovery of audio cassette learning has been considered the
243:47 learning has been considered the greatest single advance in education
243:50 greatest single advance in education since the discovery of the printing
243:52 since the discovery of the printing press or the invention of the printing
243:53 press or the invention of the printing press audio cassette learning brings the
243:56 press audio cassette learning brings the finest Minds in the world with their
243:59 finest Minds in the world with their finest thoughts thought out scripted
244:02 finest thoughts thought out scripted edited tightly compressed and put
244:05 edited tightly compressed and put together into your hands for a few
244:07 together into your hands for a few dollars of tape and you can walk travel
244:10 dollars of tape and you can walk travel jog with some of the greatest Minds
244:13 jog with some of the greatest Minds Alive for only a few dollars listen to
244:15 Alive for only a few dollars listen to tapes in your car you know the average
244:16 tapes in your car you know the average person who drives spends 500 to 1,000
244:19 person who drives spends 500 to 1,000 hours a year in their car 500 to 1,000
244:23 hours a year in their car 500 to 1,000 hours a year the majority of those
244:25 hours a year the majority of those people sit there and listen to the radio
244:27 people sit there and listen to the radio as they we call radio with all due
244:30 as they we call radio with all due respect to people in the radio industry
244:31 respect to people in the radio industry it's called chewing gum for the ears uh
244:34 it's called chewing gum for the ears uh because it just goes on and on 500 to a
244:36 because it just goes on and on 500 to a th000 hours is the equivalent of 12 1/2
244:39 th000 hours is the equivalent of 12 1/2 to 25 40h hour weeks
244:44 to 25 40h hour weeks you know what that means it means that
244:46 you know what that means it means that you are getting the the benefit of or
244:49 you are getting the the benefit of or could be getting the benefit of as much
244:51 could be getting the benefit of as much as 12 and A2 to 25 40h hour work weeks
244:55 as 12 and A2 to 25 40h hour work weeks imagine if your company would send you
244:57 imagine if your company would send you away for 25 weeks to study every single
244:59 away for 25 weeks to study every single year at no extra charge do you think
245:01 year at no extra charge do you think that would affect your career and your
245:02 that would affect your career and your earning capacity that's the equivalent
245:04 earning capacity that's the equivalent of one to two University
245:07 of one to two University semesters imagine if you were taking the
245:09 semesters imagine if you were taking the equivalent of one or two University
245:11 equivalent of one or two University semesters of additional educ ation every
245:15 semesters of additional educ ation every single year do you think that would
245:17 single year do you think that would affect your life yes it would so listen
245:20 affect your life yes it would so listen to tapes and finally take additional
245:23 to tapes and finally take additional courses become a lifelong
245:26 courses become a lifelong student and when I say take additional
245:28 student and when I say take additional courses the very best place to take
245:30 courses the very best place to take courses is from people who are experts
245:32 courses is from people who are experts in their field try to avoid taking
245:34 in their field try to avoid taking courses from people who've only got
245:36 courses from people who've only got their education out of a textbook take
245:38 their education out of a textbook take courses from people who are experts take
245:40 courses from people who are experts take seminars seminars for instance like this
245:42 seminars seminars for instance like this seminar that you're attending
245:44 seminar that you're attending you can get more information in a one or
245:46 you can get more information in a one or two day seminar taught by people who
245:47 two day seminar taught by people who spent 10 20 30 years Gathering and
245:50 spent 10 20 30 years Gathering and compressing the information than you can
245:51 compressing the information than you can an entire University course so take
245:54 an entire University course so take additional courses I recommend a minimum
245:56 additional courses I recommend a minimum of four perom one every 3 months in a
246:00 of four perom one every 3 months in a world where the average person never
246:01 world where the average person never takes an additional course 80 to 90% of
246:03 takes an additional course 80 to 90% of people never take a course after they
246:05 people never take a course after they leave high school or university if you
246:07 leave high school or university if you take four per year listen to tapes in
246:09 take four per year listen to tapes in your car and read on a regular basis and
246:11 your car and read on a regular basis and by the way where do you get the time for
246:12 by the way where do you get the time for reading just don't read so much news
246:13 reading just don't read so much news paper simple as that just cut back on
246:15 paper simple as that just cut back on the newspaper a little bit and expand
246:17 the newspaper a little bit and expand the amount of self-development reading
246:19 the amount of self-development reading that you do where do you get time to
246:20 that you do where do you get time to listen to tapes just don't listen to so
246:22 listen to tapes just don't listen to so much radio I'm not saying don't listen
246:23 much radio I'm not saying don't listen to the radio at all but just don't
246:24 to the radio at all but just don't listen to so much of it where do you get
246:25 listen to so much of it where do you get time to take additional courses instead
246:27 time to take additional courses instead of sitting around on the weekends take a
246:28 of sitting around on the weekends take a course instead of watching television
246:30 course instead of watching television the evenings go and take a course but
246:32 the evenings go and take a course but remember the clock is running if you
246:34 remember the clock is running if you want to get to the top of your field if
246:36 want to get to the top of your field if you want to be a leader if you want to
246:37 you want to be a leader if you want to be a star in your field knowledge is
246:40 be a star in your field knowledge is power knowledge today is more important
246:44 power knowledge today is more important than anything else knowledge is the
246:46 than anything else knowledge is the great power in our society and the more
246:48 great power in our society and the more knowledge you have the more practical
246:50 knowledge you have the more practical knowledge that can be put to purposes
246:52 knowledge that can be put to purposes that can help other people and benefit
246:54 that can help other people and benefit yourself and the people around you the
246:55 yourself and the people around you the more knowledge you have the more power
246:57 more knowledge you have the more power you will have the more self-esteem you
246:59 you will have the more self-esteem you will have the more status the more
247:01 will have the more status the more position the more security everything
247:03 position the more security everything the most insecure person in our society
247:05 the most insecure person in our society is the person who has stopped learning
247:07 is the person who has stopped learning and growing and they know it all right
247:10 and growing and they know it all right by the way one other thing according to
247:11 by the way one other thing according to the Harvard studies one of the key to
247:13 the Harvard studies one of the key to self motivation is Perpetual growth as
247:15 self motivation is Perpetual growth as long as you're growing and learning and
247:17 long as you're growing and learning and feeding your mind with new material you
247:19 feeding your mind with new material you will be continuously motivated exactly
247:21 will be continuously motivated exactly as if you were taking psychological
247:22 as if you were taking psychological vitamins as soon as you stop growing you
247:25 vitamins as soon as you stop growing you start stagnating when you start
247:27 start stagnating when you start stagnating your self-esteem goes down
247:29 stagnating your self-esteem goes down your energy level goes down your health
247:31 your energy level goes down your health level goes down you become prone to more
247:33 level goes down you become prone to more diseases and so on and so forth so as
247:34 diseases and so on and so forth so as long as you're learning and growing
247:36 long as you're learning and growing you'll be vital physically and mentally
247:38 you'll be vital physically and mentally the next part of feeding your
247:40 the next part of feeding your mind uh is what we call the reference
247:44 mind uh is what we call the reference group or put it another way get around
247:46 group or put it another way get around the right people get around the right
247:53 people now getting around the right people simply means this is that when we
247:55 people simply means this is that when we talked about the power of suggestion we
247:57 talked about the power of suggestion we said that about 85 to 95% of all of the
248:01 said that about 85 to 95% of all of the influences in your life all the reasons
248:03 influences in your life all the reasons you do anything is because of suggestive
248:05 you do anything is because of suggestive influences around you not only physical
248:07 influences around you not only physical suggestions the weather the heat the
248:08 suggestions the weather the heat the cold and so on but also the emotional
248:11 cold and so on but also the emotional suggestions the impact of the people you
248:13 suggestions the impact of the people you associate with and the more you impact
248:15 associate with and the more you impact the more you associate with people
248:17 the more you associate with people especially people in your family people
248:19 especially people in your family people in your close Social Circle people that
248:20 in your close Social Circle people that you work with the more you associate
248:23 you work with the more you associate with these people the more of an impact
248:24 with these people the more of an impact they have on your thinking and on your
248:27 they have on your thinking and on your future David mclen found at Harvard
248:29 future David mclen found at Harvard University after 25 years he found that
248:32 University after 25 years he found that the choice of a reference group was one
248:34 the choice of a reference group was one of the key determinant of success or
248:36 of the key determinant of success or failure in life now a reference group
248:39 failure in life now a reference group are the people that you identify with
248:41 are the people that you identify with remember we talked about identification
248:43 remember we talked about identification the people that you consider yourself to
248:45 the people that you consider yourself to be one of just simple as that who do you
248:48 be one of just simple as that who do you identify with well let me give you an
248:50 identify with well let me give you an example I was reading the story of a
248:51 example I was reading the story of a self-made millionaire not long ago and
248:54 self-made millionaire not long ago and he had started off as a young man when
248:56 he had started off as a young man when other kids were collecting baseball
248:57 other kids were collecting baseball cards or football cards or hockey cards
249:00 cards or football cards or hockey cards he became fascinated with Executives of
249:03 he became fascinated with Executives of Fortune 500 corporations so he began
249:06 Fortune 500 corporations so he began reading his father's business week
249:08 reading his father's business week Newsweek Fortune Magazine Wall Street
249:10 Newsweek Fortune Magazine Wall Street Journal and he be began keeping fire on
249:14 Journal and he be began keeping fire on Executives who were in the news and he
249:16 Executives who were in the news and he began to identify with those Executives
249:19 began to identify with those Executives he began to think about being in a
249:21 he began to think about being in a Fortune 500 Corporation and he began to
249:23 Fortune 500 Corporation and he began to think about being an executive in a
249:25 think about being an executive in a Fortune 500 Corporation at a time when
249:27 Fortune 500 Corporation at a time when some people were thinking about being
249:28 some people were thinking about being hockey stars or Baseball Stars the
249:30 hockey stars or Baseball Stars the interesting thing was that as he grew up
249:32 interesting thing was that as he grew up this directional mechanism this role
249:34 this directional mechanism this role model this reference group that he
249:37 model this reference group that he identified with began to affect what he
249:40 identified with began to affect what he read in school what he studied uh how
249:42 read in school what he studied uh how much he applied himself how hard he
249:45 much he applied himself how hard he worked what companies he went to work
249:47 worked what companies he went to work with what company he went to work with
249:48 with what company he went to work with when he came out of high school and
249:49 when he came out of high school and University and by the time he was 25
249:51 University and by the time he was 25 years old he was an executive of Fortune
249:54 years old he was an executive of Fortune 500 Corporation one of the youngest
249:56 500 Corporation one of the youngest Executives of a Fortune 500 Corporation
249:59 Executives of a Fortune 500 Corporation in business history but it's because he
250:01 in business history but it's because he started at the age of 12 identifying
250:04 started at the age of 12 identifying with those question who do you identify
250:07 with those question who do you identify with now whoever you identify with today
250:09 with now whoever you identify with today one of the things you have to ask
250:10 one of the things you have to ask yourself is who would you like to be
250:12 yourself is who would you like to be like who do you want want to identify
250:14 like who do you want want to identify with and then you start getting around
250:16 with and then you start getting around the right people the starting point of
250:17 the right people the starting point of getting around the right people is to
250:19 getting around the right people is to start to read the magazines that they
250:21 start to read the magazines that they read if you want to be a successful
250:22 read if you want to be a successful person in business read successful
250:24 person in business read successful business magazines you want to be a top
250:26 business magazines you want to be a top salesperson read successful sales
250:28 salesperson read successful sales magazines marketing magazines books
250:30 magazines marketing magazines books written by top salespeople if you want
250:32 written by top salespeople if you want to be a successful executive if you want
250:34 to be a successful executive if you want to be a successful marketer if you want
250:35 to be a successful marketer if you want to be a successful parent then begin
250:37 to be a successful parent then begin getting around these people through
250:39 getting around these people through their writings through their tapes and
250:41 their writings through their tapes and through their courses the other thing is
250:43 through their courses the other thing is to seek them out and begin to associate
250:45 to seek them out and begin to associate with winners as we say fly with
250:49 with winners as we say fly with eagles now let me make one point here
250:51 eagles now let me make one point here that's absolutely critical it is simply
250:54 that's absolutely critical it is simply this is that if
250:55 this is that if you scratch with the turkeys you can't
250:58 you scratch with the turkeys you can't fly with the Eagles that if you spend
251:00 fly with the Eagles that if you spend time with losers you will be a loser
251:03 time with losers you will be a loser yourself that David mcleland of Harvard
251:05 yourself that David mcleland of Harvard SP found that 99% of the failure rate in
251:08 SP found that 99% of the failure rate in life could be attributed to associating
251:11 life could be attributed to associating with people who were going nowhere
251:14 with people who were going nowhere because we're so strongly influenced by
251:17 because we're so strongly influenced by the people around us we talk like them
251:19 the people around us we talk like them we walk like them we take on their
251:21 we walk like them we take on their attitudes their values their beliefs
251:23 attitudes their values their beliefs their expectations even their
251:25 their expectations even their self-concepts if we associate with
251:27 self-concepts if we associate with negative people critical people cynical
251:30 negative people critical people cynical people lazy people people who waste
251:32 people lazy people people who waste their time we will become exactly like
251:35 their time we will become exactly like them every one of us has the tendency to
251:38 them every one of us has the tendency to be like a chameleon we take on the
251:40 be like a chameleon we take on the colorings and the behaviors of the
251:41 colorings and the behaviors of the people around us so it's very important
251:44 people around us so it's very important that you make a decision what you want
251:46 that you make a decision what you want to be like and you begin to associate
251:48 to be like and you begin to associate with people who are like that and
251:50 with people who are like that and especially get away from the losers get
251:53 especially get away from the losers get away from the no hopers get away from
251:55 away from the no hopers get away from the negative people because these people
251:57 the negative people because these people will drag you down as surely as an
251:59 will drag you down as surely as an anchor would drag you down if it was
252:01 anchor would drag you down if it was tied to your leg many people come to me
252:03 tied to your leg many people come to me and say well I'm working for a negative
252:05 and say well I'm working for a negative boss or I'm in a negative relationship
252:07 boss or I'm in a negative relationship and I say this if you're working for a
252:08 and I say this if you're working for a negative boss you'll never realize your
252:10 negative boss you'll never realize your potential working for that boss you'll
252:12 potential working for that boss you'll never be happy and you'll never
252:13 never be happy and you'll never accomplish everything you're capable of
252:14 accomplish everything you're capable of accomplishing they say well if I'm in a
252:16 accomplishing they say well if I'm in a negative relationship what do I do I say
252:18 negative relationship what do I do I say you have to ask yourself this question
252:20 you have to ask yourself this question do you want to fulfill your potential as
252:21 do you want to fulfill your potential as a human being or not if you want to
252:23 a human being or not if you want to fulfill your potential as a human being
252:25 fulfill your potential as a human being here's the facts I'm not making the
252:27 here's the facts I'm not making the facts up I'm just telling you here's the
252:29 facts up I'm just telling you here's the facts but if you associate with losers
252:30 facts but if you associate with losers you'll be a loser and it's been worked
252:32 you'll be a loser and it's been worked on for 25 years and they can't find any
252:34 on for 25 years and they can't find any exceptions to it and I've spoken to
252:37 exceptions to it and I've spoken to thousands of people who've told me that
252:39 thousands of people who've told me that coming to terms with this is one of the
252:40 coming to terms with this is one of the hardest things that they ever did
252:42 hardest things that they ever did because sometimes means that you have to
252:44 because sometimes means that you have to say goodbye to family say goodbye to
252:46 say goodbye to family say goodbye to friends say goodbye to relatives say
252:48 friends say goodbye to relatives say goodbye to relationships but if that is
252:50 goodbye to relationships but if that is the fact the better sooner you do it the
252:53 the fact the better sooner you do it the better it's almost like taking out a
252:54 better it's almost like taking out a rotten tooth the sooner you do it the
252:56 rotten tooth the sooner you do it the less pain you suffer now with the next
252:58 less pain you suffer now with the next part with regard to reference group is
253:00 part with regard to reference group is this it's what is called The Mastermind
253:02 this it's what is called The Mastermind Alliance and that is to pick one or two
253:06 Alliance and that is to pick one or two or more people in your environment whom
253:08 or more people in your environment whom you admire who are positive who are
253:10 you admire who are positive who are going places who are ambitious and start
253:12 going places who are ambitious and start to get together with them at at least
253:13 to get together with them at at least once per week for breakfast or lunch
253:15 once per week for breakfast or lunch just to talk get around them the
253:17 just to talk get around them the something about the fertilization and
253:19 something about the fertilization and the Synergy of positive Minds coming
253:21 the Synergy of positive Minds coming together talking about your problems
253:23 together talking about your problems talking about your challenges talking
253:24 talking about your challenges talking about the future talking about what's
253:26 about the future talking about what's going on try to get together with a
253:27 going on try to get together with a mastermind Alliance once a week we have
253:30 mastermind Alliance once a week we have found in the research that I've done the
253:32 found in the research that I've done the research that Napoleon Hill has done
253:34 research that Napoleon Hill has done that associating with other positive
253:35 that associating with other positive people is one of the triggering
253:37 people is one of the triggering influences to Peak Performance it's one
253:39 influences to Peak Performance it's one of the guarantors that you will become a
253:41 of the guarantors that you will become a great success you can't do it by simply
253:43 great success you can't do it by simply associating by yourself all right now
253:46 associating by yourself all right now another way another way to influence
253:49 another way another way to influence your mind very very important is start
253:51 your mind very very important is start each day
253:52 each day right start each day
254:00 right now this is based on the fact that there are two times of the day when you
254:02 there are two times of the day when you are most suggestive when your
254:03 are most suggestive when your subconscious mind is most open to new
254:06 subconscious mind is most open to new information and that is nighttime before
254:09 information and that is nighttime before you go to sleep just when you fall off
254:12 you go to sleep just when you fall off to sleep and morning these are the two
254:15 to sleep and morning these are the two times when your conscious mind is most
254:17 times when your conscious mind is most relaxed and your subconscious mind is
254:19 relaxed and your subconscious mind is most alert so you must use these times
254:22 most alert so you must use these times as what we call key programming
254:23 as what we call key programming opportunities to put new information
254:26 opportunities to put new information into your mind and this is what I
254:28 into your mind and this is what I suggest you do and it's very very
254:30 suggest you do and it's very very powerful before you go to sleep at night
254:32 powerful before you go to sleep at night feed your mind with a stream of messages
254:34 feed your mind with a stream of messages consistent with what you want to be and
254:36 consistent with what you want to be and have and do the next day in other words
254:38 have and do the next day in other words program yourself for the next day the
254:40 program yourself for the next day the same way you'd program a computer and
254:42 same way you'd program a computer and what I do is I live down and I close my
254:44 what I do is I live down and I close my eyes and I say I wake up in the morning
254:46 eyes and I say I wake up in the morning present tense and I feel terrific I wake
254:49 present tense and I feel terrific I wake up in the morning and I feel terrific I
254:52 up in the morning and I feel terrific I wake up in the morning I feel wonderful
254:53 wake up in the morning I feel wonderful I feel full of energy I believe tomorrow
254:56 I feel full of energy I believe tomorrow is going to be a great day I wake up in
254:58 is going to be a great day I wake up in the morning and I feel terrific and then
255:00 the morning and I feel terrific and then when you get up in the morning the first
255:02 when you get up in the morning the first thing that you say the first thought
255:03 thing that you say the first thought that
255:05 that you program into your subconscious
255:07 you program into your subconscious computer is I feel terrific I feel
255:11 computer is I feel terrific I feel terrific I feel terrific I feel terrific
255:14 terrific I feel terrific I feel terrific I feel terrific what you do is you get
255:16 I feel terrific what you do is you get up and you say it 1 2 3 four five times
255:18 up and you say it 1 2 3 four five times and you repeat it over I feel terrific I
255:20 and you repeat it over I feel terrific I feel terrific you don't get up in the
255:21 feel terrific you don't get up in the morning say gez I'm tired gez I'm tired
255:23 morning say gez I'm tired gez I'm tired gez I'm tired oh God I'm tired you get
255:25 gez I'm tired oh God I'm tired you get in the morning say I feel terrific
255:26 in the morning say I feel terrific somebody say how you feel you say I feel
255:27 somebody say how you feel you say I feel terrific even when you feel terrible say
255:29 terrific even when you feel terrible say I feel terrific you see your
255:30 I feel terrific you see your subconscious mind can't tell the
255:32 subconscious mind can't tell the difference between a real fact and one
255:35 difference between a real fact and one that you vividly imagine and if you
255:36 that you vividly imagine and if you repeat I feel terrific very loud I feel
255:39 repeat I feel terrific very loud I feel terrific try it yourself I feel terrific
255:41 terrific try it yourself I feel terrific I feel terrific I feel terrific what
255:42 I feel terrific I feel terrific what Happ the subconscious mind believes it
255:44 Happ the subconscious mind believes it maybe you do feel terrific and it will
255:45 maybe you do feel terrific and it will actually give you a surge of energy that
255:47 actually give you a surge of energy that will wake you up and clear your mind
255:49 will wake you up and clear your mind even before you have coffee now the
255:51 even before you have coffee now the second thing that you do in the morning
255:53 second thing that you do in the morning this is number one second thing that you
255:54 this is number one second thing that you do to start your day off well is to read
255:57 do to start your day off well is to read for 30 to 60 Minutes get up early enough
255:59 for 30 to 60 Minutes get up early enough to read for 30 to 60 Minutes in
256:01 to read for 30 to 60 Minutes in something that is motivational something
256:03 something that is motivational something that is inspirational something that is
256:06 that is inspirational something that is educational something that uplifts your
256:10 educational something that uplifts your mind what we call mental protein not
256:12 mind what we call mental protein not newspaper not magazine not television
256:14 newspaper not magazine not television not radio get up in the morning sit down
256:16 not radio get up in the morning sit down and read something really good for
256:18 and read something really good for yourself read something that makes you
256:20 yourself read something that makes you feel really good about yourself in your
256:21 feel really good about yourself in your day I read spiritually oriented material
256:23 day I read spiritually oriented material every single morning and with this is
256:25 every single morning and with this is called by the way the golden hour if you
256:28 called by the way the golden hour if you will do this as a result of attending
256:30 will do this as a result of attending this seminar if you will begin to read
256:32 this seminar if you will begin to read every morning for 30 to 60 Minutes in
256:34 every morning for 30 to 60 Minutes in something that uplifts your mind this
256:36 something that uplifts your mind this alone will be worth all the time you
256:37 alone will be worth all the time you spend in a seminar this habit of using
256:40 spend in a seminar this habit of using the golden hour the first hour in the
256:42 the golden hour the first hour in the morning when your mind is wide open to
256:43 morning when your mind is wide open to new information using it constructively
256:46 new information using it constructively is one of the most powerful success
256:48 is one of the most powerful success techniques I've ever found in my entire
256:50 techniques I've ever found in my entire life I've had hundreds of people come
256:52 life I've had hundreds of people come back to me and say this has changed
256:53 back to me and say this has changed their life just getting up a little bit
256:55 their life just getting up a little bit early so you can sit and read quietly
256:57 early so you can sit and read quietly you will become so addicted to using
256:59 you will become so addicted to using that golden hour that you will not be
257:02 that golden hour that you will not be able to do without it even if you have
257:03 able to do without it even if you have to get up tired even if you have to get
257:05 to get up tired even if you have to get up long before you have to go to work
257:07 up long before you have to go to work get up and milk that golden hour fill
257:10 get up and milk that golden hour fill your mind full of Rich mental prote
257:13 your mind full of Rich mental prote beautiful thoughts and ideas uplift your
257:15 beautiful thoughts and ideas uplift your mind and you'll find that your whole day
257:17 mind and you'll find that your whole day will go better and the third step is
257:20 will go better and the third step is review your goals every morning review
257:23 review your goals every morning review your goals every
257:26 your goals every morning every morning before you start
257:28 morning every morning before you start out review your goals just just the same
257:31 out review your goals just just the same as if you were on a long motor trip or
257:32 as if you were on a long motor trip or if you were at Sea you'd look at the map
257:34 if you were at Sea you'd look at the map you'd shoot the stars and the Moon in
257:36 you'd shoot the stars and the Moon in other words you take a look at where you
257:38 other words you take a look at where you are and you would plot your destination
257:40 are and you would plot your destination and you would think about it because
257:41 and you would think about it because when you review your goals you program
257:43 when you review your goals you program them into your subconscious
257:45 them into your subconscious mind well programming them into your
257:48 mind well programming them into your subconscious mind by repeating them
257:50 subconscious mind by repeating them every day and using that wonderful
257:52 every day and using that wonderful technique that golden hour I learned
257:54 technique that golden hour I learned this many years ago and I've been
257:56 this many years ago and I've been absolutely astonished those three points
257:58 absolutely astonished those three points wake up in the morning I feel
258:00 wake up in the morning I feel terrific read for 30 to 60 minutes and
258:03 terrific read for 30 to 60 minutes and write and review your goals every single
258:06 write and review your goals every single morning and the most remarkable thing
258:07 morning and the most remarkable thing that happens is you start off every day
258:10 that happens is you start off every day supercharged you start off every day
258:11 supercharged you start off every day feeling positive you start off every day
258:13 feeling positive you start off every day feeling energetic so let's just review
258:16 feeling energetic so let's just review for a second and I'm going to wrap up
258:17 for a second and I'm going to wrap up with two really critical points we
258:20 with two really critical points we talked about the power of suggestion
258:21 talked about the power of suggestion remember that everything counts
258:22 remember that everything counts everything that you read everything that
258:24 everything that you read everything that you listen to everything that you watch
258:25 you listen to everything that you watch on television every magazine that you
258:27 on television every magazine that you pick up every conversation that you have
258:30 pick up every conversation that you have positive or negative is affecting your
258:32 positive or negative is affecting your subconscious mind which is programming
258:34 subconscious mind which is programming your future remember your external world
258:37 your future remember your external world is a reflection of your internal World
258:39 is a reflection of your internal World your external world is a reflection of
258:41 your external world is a reflection of your internal world if there is
258:43 your internal world if there is negativity concern anxiety fear in your
258:45 negativity concern anxiety fear in your internal world then it's going to be
258:47 internal world then it's going to be reflected in your external world so be
258:49 reflected in your external world so be sure that what you're taking into your
258:51 sure that what you're taking into your mental diet is just as pure as what you
258:54 mental diet is just as pure as what you would take into a physical diet if you
258:56 would take into a physical diet if you wanted to sustain high levels of
258:58 wanted to sustain high levels of physical health and energy absolutely
259:00 physical health and energy absolutely important feed your mind with books feed
259:03 important feed your mind with books feed your mind with tapes feed your mind with
259:05 your mind with tapes feed your mind with positive conversations feed your mind
259:07 positive conversations feed your mind with courses go and attend and listen to
259:09 with courses go and attend and listen to experts feed your mind with positive
259:12 experts feed your mind with positive people if one of the uh recommendations
259:16 people if one of the uh recommendations that one of the business philosophers
259:17 that one of the business philosophers says is poor people should take rich
259:20 says is poor people should take rich people out to lunch why because taking a
259:22 people out to lunch why because taking a rich person out to lunch is an
259:24 rich person out to lunch is an opportunity to learn from that rich
259:26 opportunity to learn from that rich person to get information from that
259:27 person to get information from that person that you could not buy at any
259:29 person that you could not buy at any price poor people should take rich
259:31 price poor people should take rich people out to lunch get around the
259:34 people out to lunch get around the winners think about the winner that you
259:36 winners think about the winner that you want to be and look around you in your
259:38 want to be and look around you in your world and say who is like the person
259:40 world and say who is like the person that I want to be here's another very
259:42 that I want to be here's another very important point in terms of metal
259:43 important point in terms of metal programming it's simply this is discard
259:46 programming it's simply this is discard past
259:47 past labels discard past
259:51 labels discard past labels don't ever allow anybody to tag
259:54 labels don't ever allow anybody to tag you with the way that you used to be if
259:57 you with the way that you used to be if you were late before don't anybody allow
259:59 you were late before don't anybody allow anybody to say well you're always late
260:01 anybody to say well you're always late you say no you say in the past I was
260:04 you say no you say in the past I was late but now I am punctual you can't
260:07 late but now I am punctual you can't control your your eating in the past I
260:10 control your your eating in the past I overage but now I eat sensibly and
260:12 overage but now I eat sensibly and soundly you're irritable and impatient
260:14 soundly you're irritable and impatient no in the past I was but now I am these
260:17 no in the past I was but now I am these are the words in the past I was past
260:20 are the words in the past I was past tense in the past I was remember the
260:23 tense in the past I was remember the subconscious is listening but now I
260:26 subconscious is listening but now I am but now I am blank blank blank
260:30 am but now I am blank blank blank whatever it happens to be in the past I
260:33 whatever it happens to be in the past I didn't work very effectively but now I
260:35 didn't work very effectively but now I am an effective worker in the past I
260:36 am an effective worker in the past I didn't manage my time well but now I
260:38 didn't manage my time well but now I manage my time well now if you make a
260:40 manage my time well now if you make a mistake and you fall back then what you
260:42 mistake and you fall back then what you do do is you just simply cancel the
260:43 do do is you just simply cancel the mistake by saying well next time I'll
260:47 mistake by saying well next time I'll you show up late for an appointment you
260:49 you show up late for an appointment you say well next time I'll be on time Etc
260:53 say well next time I'll be on time Etc next time I'll those are the words you
260:55 next time I'll those are the words you cancel every mistake you refuse to carry
260:58 cancel every mistake you refuse to carry past labels forward underlining all
261:02 past labels forward underlining all this teach
261:04 this teach others teach what you know to people who
261:07 others teach what you know to people who are interested teach what you know to
261:10 are interested teach what you know to people who are interested
261:12 people who are interested because remember you become what you
261:15 because remember you become what you teach you will find that the more you
261:17 teach you will find that the more you teach other people and share this
261:19 teach other people and share this information with other people the more
261:20 information with other people the more you internalize it yourself you become
261:23 you internalize it yourself you become what you teach does this material work I
261:27 what you teach does this material work I can tell you yes it does work since I
261:29 can tell you yes it does work since I began to teach this material since I
261:31 began to teach this material since I began to lecture on it and tape on it
261:33 began to lecture on it and tape on it since I began to speak to hundreds and
261:34 since I began to speak to hundreds and thousands of people I have internalized
261:37 thousands of people I have internalized all the things that we talk about in
261:38 all the things that we talk about in this course and everything that I talk
261:40 this course and everything that I talk about here when I first began teaching I
261:42 about here when I first began teaching I hope it worked I thought it worked I
261:45 hope it worked I thought it worked I sort of believed it worked but now I
261:47 sort of believed it worked but now I know it works having taught it I've
261:49 know it works having taught it I've internalized it having internalized it I
261:51 internalized it having internalized it I have seen examples of every single bit
261:54 have seen examples of every single bit of this back everything that you do with
261:57 of this back everything that you do with confident
261:59 confident expectations an attitude of confident
262:01 expectations an attitude of confident expectations is the mark of the truly
262:03 expectations is the mark of the truly healthy personality remember we talked
262:05 healthy personality remember we talked about the power of expectations an
262:07 about the power of expectations an attitude of confident expectations means
262:10 attitude of confident expectations means that you confidently expect good things
262:11 that you confidently expect good things to happen you have have an attitude of
262:13 to happen you have have an attitude of positive
262:23 self-excluders paranoid as you know a paranoid is a
262:25 paranoid as you know a paranoid is a person who is convinced that the world
262:26 person who is convinced that the world is out to get him that the whole world
262:28 is out to get him that the whole world is conspiring to get him an inverse
262:31 is conspiring to get him an inverse paranoid is a person who is convinced
262:33 paranoid is a person who is convinced that the world is conspiring to do him
262:36 that the world is conspiring to do him or her good so become an inverse
262:39 or her good so become an inverse paranoid be absolutely convinced that
262:40 paranoid be absolutely convinced that the world has got a plot out there it's
262:42 the world has got a plot out there it's plotting to do you good it's plotting to
262:45 plotting to do you good it's plotting to somehow get good to you whether you like
262:47 somehow get good to you whether you like it or not that no matter what happens
262:49 it or not that no matter what happens look into it for the good no matter what
262:53 look into it for the good no matter what happens this is the key to becoming an
262:55 happens this is the key to becoming an inverse paranoid look for the good
262:58 inverse paranoid look for the good expect the best and look for the good
263:01 expect the best and look for the good expect the best and look for the good
263:04 expect the best and look for the good Ralph Waldo Emerson said that the
263:07 Ralph Waldo Emerson said that the measure of healthy personality is your
263:09 measure of healthy personality is your ability to look for the good in
263:11 ability to look for the good in everything around you your propensity to
263:13 everything around you your propensity to look for the good you have to ask
263:14 look for the good you have to ask yourself how much of the time do you
263:15 yourself how much of the time do you look for the good how much of the time
263:17 look for the good how much of the time do you expect the bad the degree to
263:18 do you expect the bad the degree to which you look for the good is the
263:20 which you look for the good is the degree to which you are healthy as a
263:22 degree to which you are healthy as a human being and finally remember this
263:25 human being and finally remember this the process of changing from where you
263:27 the process of changing from where you are now here's where you are to here's
263:30 are now here's where you are to here's your goal this is where you want to go
263:32 your goal this is where you want to go the process of getting from here to here
263:35 the process of getting from here to here is Progressive but this is what happens
263:37 is Progressive but this is what happens when you begin to visualize and affirm
263:39 when you begin to visualize and affirm and imagine and write and plan your new
263:42 and imagine and write and plan your new self that is say you want to earn
263:43 self that is say you want to earn $50,000 a year and you began you're
263:46 $50,000 a year and you began you're currently earning $25,000 a year and
263:48 currently earning $25,000 a year and your goal is to earn $50,000 a year what
263:51 your goal is to earn $50,000 a year what happens is this you keep saying you
263:53 happens is this you keep saying you start to affirm and visualize over and
263:55 start to affirm and visualize over and over again I weigh or I earn $50,000 a
263:57 over again I weigh or I earn $50,000 a year I earn $50,000 a year I earn
263:59 year I earn $50,000 a year I earn $50,000 a year your subconscious mind
264:02 $50,000 a year your subconscious mind disbelieves it but as you say it over
264:04 disbelieves it but as you say it over and over again your subconscious mind
264:05 and over again your subconscious mind still disbelieves it but as you repeat
264:07 still disbelieves it but as you repeat it I earn $50,000 a year I earn $50,000
264:09 it I earn $50,000 a year I earn $50,000 a year I earn $50,000 a year the
264:11 a year I earn $50,000 a year the disbelief shrinks and your disbelief
264:14 disbelief shrinks and your disbelief gets smaller and smaller eventually you
264:15 gets smaller and smaller eventually you actually overcome your own skepticism
264:18 actually overcome your own skepticism and finally you reach the position where
264:20 and finally you reach the position where you NE believe nor disbelieve but as you
264:21 you NE believe nor disbelieve but as you keep repeating it and thinking about it
264:23 keep repeating it and thinking about it and reading and studying it and saying
264:24 and reading and studying it and saying over and over again I earn $50,000 a
264:26 over and over again I earn $50,000 a year I earn $50,000 a year I earn
264:27 year I earn $50,000 a year I earn $50,000 a year eventually you start to
264:30 $50,000 a year eventually you start to believe it just a little bit also you
264:31 believe it just a little bit also you start to get a slight increase in pay
264:33 start to get a slight increase in pay and your salary goes to $26,000 a year
264:36 and your salary goes to $26,000 a year and then you get a bonus and you find
264:37 and then you get a bonus and you find yourself earning 27,000 and so on you
264:39 yourself earning 27,000 and so on you find that the more you repeat it and
264:41 find that the more you repeat it and affirm it and visualize it and plan for
264:43 affirm it and visualize it and plan for it and prepare for it the more it comes
264:45 it and prepare for it the more it comes into your life and you just keep saying
264:47 into your life and you just keep saying I earn $50,000 a year and you begin to
264:49 I earn $50,000 a year and you begin to believe it more and more and you believe
264:51 believe it more and more and you believe it more and more and as you repeat it
264:52 it more and more and as you repeat it and visualize it and affirm it and over
264:54 and visualize it and affirm it and over and over again your belief grows and
264:56 and over again your belief grows and grows and grows and eventually it gets
264:58 grows and grows and eventually it gets to the point where you absolutely
265:00 to the point where you absolutely believe that you earn $50,000 a year and
265:02 believe that you earn $50,000 a year and if somebody were to wake you up at 3:00
265:04 if somebody were to wake you up at 3:00 in the morning give you a check and say
265:05 in the morning give you a check and say how much do you earn you say $50,000 a
265:06 how much do you earn you say $50,000 a year even though still at this point
265:08 year even though still at this point you've never earned more than 27,000 in
265:11 you've never earned more than 27,000 in your whole life
265:13 your whole life now this is the way all our beliefs
265:15 now this is the way all our beliefs change we start off with where we are
265:18 change we start off with where we are now we look at where we want to be in
265:20 now we look at where we want to be in the future and we begin to feed our mind
265:23 the future and we begin to feed our mind with new mental food consistent with
265:25 with new mental food consistent with where we want to be as we feed our mind
265:27 where we want to be as we feed our mind with that new mental food we start off
265:29 with that new mental food we start off with a lot of disbelief and skepticism
265:31 with a lot of disbelief and skepticism as a matter of fact your skepticism and
265:33 as a matter of fact your skepticism and disbelief is the biggest obstacle to
265:35 disbelief is the biggest obstacle to your success but as we repeat it over
265:37 your success but as we repeat it over and over again as we continue to work on
265:40 and over again as we continue to work on ourselves and to work on the situation
265:42 ourselves and to work on the situation we begin to believe more and more that
265:44 we begin to believe more and more that it's possible we begin to impress the
265:45 it's possible we begin to impress the possibility of it deeper and deeper into
265:47 possibility of it deeper and deeper into the subconscious now in propaganda this
265:50 the subconscious now in propaganda this is called the big
265:53 is called the big lie the big lie theory was the discovery
265:56 lie the big lie theory was the discovery that if you repeated anything over and
265:58 that if you repeated anything over and over again often enough that even the
266:00 over again often enough that even the most intelligent person would come to
266:02 most intelligent person would come to believe it with regard to your life and
266:04 believe it with regard to your life and to my life this is called the big truth
266:08 to my life this is called the big truth the big truth is that you can be have
266:10 the big truth is that you can be have and do anything that you want if you
266:13 and do anything that you want if you want it badly enough and are willing to
266:15 want it badly enough and are willing to make the efforts that anything that you
266:17 make the efforts that anything that you can hold in your mind on a continuing
266:19 can hold in your mind on a continuing basis you can be have or do you will
266:22 basis you can be have or do you will become what you think about your only
266:25 become what you think about your only job is to make a very very clear
266:27 job is to make a very very clear decision about the person you want to be
266:30 decision about the person you want to be the things that you want to have the
266:32 the things that you want to have the goals that you want to accomplish and
266:34 goals that you want to accomplish and then make sure that you feed your mind
266:36 then make sure that you feed your mind continuously day by day week by week
266:38 continuously day by day week by week hour by hour with words pictures images
266:41 hour by hour with words pictures images ideas thoughts and information
266:44 ideas thoughts and information consistent with your goals and your
266:46 consistent with your goals and your ideals keep your mind on what you want
266:49 ideals keep your mind on what you want keep it off of what you don't want and
266:52 keep it off of what you don't want and everything is possible for you
267:25 Tracy [Music]
267:38 Phoenix session 12 software for the brain what is the most precious resource
267:40 brain what is the most precious resource in your life will if you're like I am
267:43 in your life will if you're like I am your most precious resource is time and
267:45 your most precious resource is time and according to all the recent studies that
267:47 according to all the recent studies that have been done lately adults in America
267:49 have been done lately adults in America and Canada and other countries value
267:52 and Canada and other countries value Time ahead of money in almost every
267:54 Time ahead of money in almost every instance now as a result of what we've
267:57 instance now as a result of what we've talked about in our previous sessions
267:58 talked about in our previous sessions with the fact that if you change your
267:59 with the fact that if you change your internal world you change your external
268:01 internal world you change your external world one of the things that begins to
268:03 world one of the things that begins to well up inside of you is impatience if
268:06 well up inside of you is impatience if you believe that if you do change your
268:08 you believe that if you do change your internal programming your external world
268:10 internal programming your external world will change to conform with it then your
268:12 will change to conform with it then your probably in a hurry to change that
268:14 probably in a hurry to change that internal programming and in this session
268:16 internal programming and in this session we're going to talk about how you can
268:17 we're going to talk about how you can bring about rapid and permanent internal
268:20 bring about rapid and permanent internal programming change we call this session
268:23 programming change we call this session software for the brain now I don't know
268:25 software for the brain now I don't know a lot about computers but I do know this
268:27 a lot about computers but I do know this I do know that a computer has a certain
268:30 I do know that a computer has a certain amount of utility as a piece of Hardware
268:32 amount of utility as a piece of Hardware but what makes a computer work are the
268:34 but what makes a computer work are the programs that you run in it and the more
268:37 programs that you run in it and the more sophisticated and complex and productive
268:40 sophisticated and complex and productive the programs the more value is the
268:42 the programs the more value is the computer so what we're going to do today
268:44 computer so what we're going to do today is we're going to take the things that
268:46 is we're going to take the things that we talked about in terms of mental
268:48 we talked about in terms of mental programming visualization and
268:49 programming visualization and affirmation and so on and we're going to
268:51 affirmation and so on and we're going to combine them into a series of techniques
268:54 combine them into a series of techniques that you can use to multiply or to speed
268:57 that you can use to multiply or to speed up the process at which your new
268:59 up the process at which your new thoughts and ideas are accepted by your
269:02 thoughts and ideas are accepted by your subconscious mind and then go to work
269:04 subconscious mind and then go to work and attract them into your reality and
269:08 and attract them into your reality and the first technique we're going to talk
269:09 the first technique we're going to talk about is what I call written programming
269:12 about is what I call written programming technique it's one of the simplest of
269:14 technique it's one of the simplest of all and yet it is so powerful that it's
269:16 all and yet it is so powerful that it's almost scary again I've said this to
269:18 almost scary again I've said this to many audiences but I'll say it to you is
269:21 many audiences but I'll say it to you is that if you just practice this one
269:23 that if you just practice this one technique it will be worth 10 times the
269:26 technique it will be worth 10 times the time and price of this program if it's
269:28 time and price of this program if it's all you learn is this one technique it
269:30 all you learn is this one technique it will have an astonishing difference on
269:32 will have an astonishing difference on your results when I first learned about
269:33 your results when I first learned about this and applied it some years ago I
269:35 this and applied it some years ago I couldn't believe how effective it was
269:37 couldn't believe how effective it was and all it requires to use is discipline
269:40 and all it requires to use is discipline plus one of these now this is what I use
269:43 plus one of these now this is what I use it's a spiral notebook it costs here
269:45 it's a spiral notebook it costs here $1.99 Walgreens drugs all it has is line
269:49 $1.99 Walgreens drugs all it has is line pages and what you do is you use this to
269:52 pages and what you do is you use this to write and rewrite your goals it's very
269:54 write and rewrite your goals it's very simple you buy one for $1.99 and you use
269:57 simple you buy one for $1.99 and you use this as the basis of written programming
270:00 this as the basis of written programming technique let me explain to you how it
270:02 technique let me explain to you how it works written programming technique is
270:05 works written programming technique is based on the fact that we learn or take
270:07 based on the fact that we learn or take in information three ways we take in
270:10 in information three ways we take in information auditorily in other words we
270:13 information auditorily in other words we hear the information or we speak the
270:15 hear the information or we speak the information we take it in visually we
270:18 information we take it in visually we see the information and we take it in
270:20 see the information and we take it in kinesthetically is we feel the
270:24 kinesthetically is we feel the information now any one of these is a
270:27 information now any one of these is a good way of learning or if you like
270:29 good way of learning or if you like bringing in information to the
270:30 bringing in information to the unconscious mind however the more of
270:32 unconscious mind however the more of them you can combine simultaneously
270:35 them you can combine simultaneously along with some of the other mental
270:36 along with some of the other mental principles and programming techniques
270:38 principles and programming techniques that we've talked about the more rapidly
270:40 that we've talked about the more rapidly the information is accepted sometimes if
270:42 the information is accepted sometimes if you combine information in the right way
270:44 you combine information in the right way it's accepted instantaneously as a
270:46 it's accepted instantaneously as a permanent change in your unconscious
270:48 permanent change in your unconscious programming written programming
270:50 programming written programming technique is based on this as are some
270:53 technique is based on this as are some of the other programming techniques
270:55 of the other programming techniques which we'll talk about in the next few
270:56 which we'll talk about in the next few minutes written programming technique is
270:59 minutes written programming technique is based on the fact that when you write
271:01 based on the fact that when you write something down it requires total
271:04 something down it requires total concentration law of concentration you
271:06 concentration law of concentration you cannot write accurately and correctly
271:09 cannot write accurately and correctly and think of anything else at the same
271:11 and think of anything else at the same time so write writing requires
271:12 time so write writing requires concentration it also requires intensity
271:16 concentration it also requires intensity it also requires visual because you
271:18 it also requires visual because you can't write without looking and when you
271:20 can't write without looking and when you do write you have a tendency to what is
271:22 do write you have a tendency to what is called subvocalize in other words you
271:23 called subvocalize in other words you say the words to yourself as you're
271:25 say the words to yourself as you're writing so even though you can't hear
271:26 writing so even though you can't hear them with a conscious ear you hear them
271:28 them with a conscious ear you hear them internally and kinesthetically you move
271:30 internally and kinesthetically you move and you feel it requires tremendous
271:33 and you feel it requires tremendous mental emotional and physical energy to
271:35 mental emotional and physical energy to write so written programming technique
271:36 write so written programming technique simply says this is that every single
271:40 simply says this is that every single morning without fail you rewrite your
271:42 morning without fail you rewrite your major goals after you've done your
271:44 major goals after you've done your reading you rewrite your major goals now
271:48 reading you rewrite your major goals now this whole process by the way can take
271:50 this whole process by the way can take about 2 minutes maybe five you may get
271:53 about 2 minutes maybe five you may get to the point as I do where you'll write
271:54 to the point as I do where you'll write 10 20 30 sometimes even an hour but you
271:57 10 20 30 sometimes even an hour but you just rewrite your major goals as
271:59 just rewrite your major goals as positive present tense personal
272:02 positive present tense personal affirmations in other words your P your
272:04 affirmations in other words your P your goals could be I earn X number of
272:06 goals could be I earn X number of dollars per month I weigh X number of
272:09 dollars per month I weigh X number of pounds I am outstanding in my field
272:12 pounds I am outstanding in my field I do this I achieve I accomplish I
272:16 I do this I achieve I accomplish I choose and so on whatever you want to be
272:18 choose and so on whatever you want to be have or do you just write it out in a
272:20 have or do you just write it out in a series of affirmations one at a time now
272:23 series of affirmations one at a time now you'll find and we'll talk about goal
272:24 you'll find and we'll talk about goal setting later on you'll find that as you
272:26 setting later on you'll find that as you write your goals over and over again an
272:28 write your goals over and over again an interesting thing will happen is that
272:30 interesting thing will happen is that your more important goals will tend to
272:32 your more important goals will tend to be Rewritten first and they'll tend to
272:34 be Rewritten first and they'll tend to become clarified and to become sharper
272:37 become clarified and to become sharper and more distinct and every single time
272:38 and more distinct and every single time you rewrite your major goals you are
272:40 you rewrite your major goals you are driving them you are impressing them
272:43 driving them you are impressing them deeper into the subconscious which leads
272:45 deeper into the subconscious which leads to the guarantee that they will be
272:48 to the guarantee that they will be expressed in your reality every time you
272:50 expressed in your reality every time you rewrite your major goals you're
272:52 rewrite your major goals you're programming into them into your
272:53 programming into them into your subconscious and you're setting them as
272:55 subconscious and you're setting them as a directional mechanism the same way you
272:57 a directional mechanism the same way you would set the directional mechanism on a
272:58 would set the directional mechanism on a guided missile so that it will move you
273:01 guided missile so that it will move you uniring in the direction of
273:03 uniring in the direction of accomplishing it number two is close
273:06 accomplishing it number two is close your eyes after you've Rewritten your
273:08 your eyes after you've Rewritten your goals close your eyes and visualize your
273:12 goals close your eyes and visualize your major goal or goals of the day as
273:15 major goal or goals of the day as accomplished visualize them as a reality
273:18 accomplished visualize them as a reality what would they look like now a very
273:20 what would they look like now a very valuable thing to do by the way is cut
273:21 valuable thing to do by the way is cut out cripping from magazines and books
273:23 out cripping from magazines and books and put them in your notebook so that
273:26 and put them in your notebook so that you can actually look at a picture do
273:27 you can actually look at a picture do you want to earn own a brand new car or
273:29 you want to earn own a brand new car or a beautiful house or something like that
273:30 a beautiful house or something like that well then get a picture of it and make a
273:32 well then get a picture of it and make a very clear picture so when you write out
273:33 very clear picture so when you write out the goal you can look at the picture and
273:35 the goal you can look at the picture and then close your eyes and feed that
273:37 then close your eyes and feed that picture into your subconscious mind and
273:40 picture into your subconscious mind and then the third part which is most
273:41 then the third part which is most important is imagine the feeling of
273:44 important is imagine the feeling of pleasure you would have imagine the
273:47 pleasure you would have imagine the feeling of pleasure you would have if
273:50 feeling of pleasure you would have if you already owned it just imagine that
273:53 you already owned it just imagine that it is already a reality the way that you
273:55 it is already a reality the way that you imagine that it's a reality is imagine
273:57 imagine that it's a reality is imagine that you are on a path toward your goal
274:00 that you are on a path toward your goal and your goal is on a path toward you
274:02 and your goal is on a path toward you and that there is a predestined time
274:05 and that there is a predestined time when you are ready and it's ready when
274:07 when you are ready and it's ready when everything is ready that you and the
274:09 everything is ready that you and the goal will meet and that you cannot speak
274:11 goal will meet and that you cannot speak speed up the time you can't make it go
274:13 speed up the time you can't make it go faster and you can't make it go slower
274:15 faster and you can't make it go slower but what you can do is continually
274:17 but what you can do is continually repeat the picture and the feeling and
274:19 repeat the picture and the feeling and the description over and over again and
274:21 the description over and over again and at exactly the right time and place it
274:24 at exactly the right time and place it will meet someday you'll probably write
274:26 will meet someday you'll probably write me a letter and you'll tell me how
274:27 me a letter and you'll tell me how remarkably this has worked in your life
274:29 remarkably this has worked in your life because it's worked remarkably in my
274:31 because it's worked remarkably in my life and the life of many other people
274:33 life and the life of many other people now the second point and let's before we
274:34 now the second point and let's before we go on with this let me give you a key
274:36 go on with this let me give you a key point it's called The Law of relaxation
274:38 point it's called The Law of relaxation the law of relaxation is one of the most
274:40 the law of relaxation is one of the most important mental laws
274:42 important mental laws well the law of relaxation simply says
274:45 well the law of relaxation simply says this that in the physical world if you
274:47 this that in the physical world if you want to drive a nail the harder you hit
274:49 want to drive a nail the harder you hit it the more physical effort or energy
274:52 it the more physical effort or energy you put behind it the faster you
274:54 you put behind it the faster you accomplish something in the physical
274:56 accomplish something in the physical world if you want to drive a car faster
274:57 world if you want to drive a car faster you step on the gas which causes the
274:59 you step on the gas which causes the engine to work harder and propels It
275:01 engine to work harder and propels It Forward however in the mental realm it's
275:04 Forward however in the mental realm it's exactly the opposite the law of
275:06 exactly the opposite the law of relaxation says that in all mental
275:08 relaxation says that in all mental working effort defeats itself in all
275:12 working effort defeats itself in all mental
275:14 mental working effort defeats itself what does
275:17 working effort defeats itself what does this mean it
275:19 this mean it means that the harder you don't try the
275:24 means that the harder you don't try the better it
275:25 better it works now it's interesting I give you
275:27 works now it's interesting I give you perfect example relationships you will
275:29 perfect example relationships you will notice that in any relationship of yours
275:31 notice that in any relationship of yours that works the harder you try to make a
275:34 that works the harder you try to make a relationship work the more difficult it
275:35 relationship work the more difficult it is because a relationship is basically a
275:37 is because a relationship is basically a Meeting of Minds and and whenever you
275:40 Meeting of Minds and and whenever you just relax and let the relationship flow
275:43 just relax and let the relationship flow the relationship unfolds exactly the way
275:45 the relationship unfolds exactly the way it should if ever you try to speed
275:47 it should if ever you try to speed something up or slow it down out of its
275:49 something up or slow it down out of its own time you create a crisis you create
275:52 own time you create a crisis you create tension stress and anxiety so anything
275:55 tension stress and anxiety so anything that has to do with mental working
275:57 that has to do with mental working anything that has to do with minds and
275:59 anything that has to do with minds and all interactions between people have to
276:01 all interactions between people have to do with Minds anything that has to do
276:03 do with Minds anything that has to do with goals and dreams and plans requires
276:05 with goals and dreams and plans requires that you just relax and let it unfold
276:08 that you just relax and let it unfold that's why we say close your eyes
276:10 that's why we say close your eyes visualize imagine imagine the feeling
276:12 visualize imagine imagine the feeling and just relax without making any effort
276:15 and just relax without making any effort and the more relaxed you are the more
276:17 and the more relaxed you are the more rapidly the idea is accepted by the
276:18 rapidly the idea is accepted by the subconscious mind now the next technique
276:21 subconscious mind now the next technique is what is called the quick affirmation
276:22 is what is called the quick affirmation technique or quick programming
276:25 technique or quick programming technique quick programming
276:27 technique quick programming technique is used specifically before
276:31 technique is used specifically before any non-recurring event of importance
276:33 any non-recurring event of importance before any non-recurring that means an
276:36 before any non-recurring that means an an event that happens only
276:39 an event that happens only once for instance if you're going to be
276:41 once for instance if you're going to be in a sports event or if you're going to
276:44 in a sports event or if you're going to go into an interview for a job or a
276:46 go into an interview for a job or a raise or if you're going to make a sales
276:48 raise or if you're going to make a sales presentation by the way all top
276:50 presentation by the way all top salespeople use this quick programming
276:52 salespeople use this quick programming technique it's very very powerful what
276:54 technique it's very very powerful what it does is it has a temporary effect but
276:58 it does is it has a temporary effect but it sets you up psychologically
276:59 it sets you up psychologically physically mentally it programs your
277:01 physically mentally it programs your self-concept and your subconscious to
277:04 self-concept and your subconscious to give you the words and actions and
277:05 give you the words and actions and behaviors that are perfectly appropriate
277:08 behaviors that are perfectly appropriate to the situation all athletes use this
277:10 to the situation all athletes use this as we'll talk about in in a second now
277:12 as we'll talk about in in a second now how do you use Quick programming
277:13 how do you use Quick programming technique well let us say that you have
277:15 technique well let us say that you have a talk coming up a good friend of mine
277:16 a talk coming up a good friend of mine just gave a a very important talk to
277:19 just gave a a very important talk to 2500 people and he was very tense and
277:21 2500 people and he was very tense and worried about I said look this all you
277:22 worried about I said look this all you have to do is each time you think about
277:24 have to do is each time you think about this talk that's coming up just close
277:25 this talk that's coming up just close your eyes and use this technique and
277:27 your eyes and use this technique and just think like this first of all
277:32 just think like this first of all visualize the perfect
277:35 visualize the perfect outcome visualize the perfect outcome in
277:38 outcome visualize the perfect outcome in other words visualize if if you could
277:40 other words visualize if if you could script what was coming up the interview
277:43 script what was coming up the interview with your boss the sales presentation
277:45 with your boss the sales presentation visualize the perfect outcome in other
277:47 visualize the perfect outcome in other words the perfect outcome for a
277:49 words the perfect outcome for a discussion about a race would be the
277:51 discussion about a race would be the boss giving you the raise the perfect
277:53 boss giving you the raise the perfect outcome of a sales conversation is the
277:54 outcome of a sales conversation is the person signing the sales order the
277:56 person signing the sales order the perfect outcome of a job application is
277:58 perfect outcome of a job application is getting a job in this case my friend's
278:00 getting a job in this case my friend's situation his perfect outcome was a
278:02 situation his perfect outcome was a standing ovation so he visualized a
278:04 standing ovation so he visualized a standing ovation that's what he
278:05 standing ovation that's what he programmed into his mind he saw the
278:07 programmed into his mind he saw the entire audience rising to their feet in
278:09 entire audience rising to their feet in a standing ovation at the end of The
278:11 a standing ovation at the end of The Talk
278:11 Talk then
278:13 then affirm the
278:15 affirm the visualization in other
278:18 visualization in other words it could be as simple as this talk
278:22 words it could be as simple as this talk goes beautifully or this talk is
278:24 goes beautifully or this talk is extremely successful or I feel
278:26 extremely successful or I feel absolutely perfect going into this talk
278:29 absolutely perfect going into this talk or this talk is a complete success in
278:32 or this talk is a complete success in other words give an affirmation that is
278:34 other words give an affirmation that is consistent with it and affirm the
278:36 consistent with it and affirm the visualization and then emotionalize
278:40 visualization and then emotionalize it or or imagine how you would feel if
278:43 it or or imagine how you would feel if you experienced it and release and this
278:46 you experienced it and release and this is the key word and then just release it
278:50 is the key word and then just release it as though it had already happened just
278:52 as though it had already happened just let it go as though it had already
278:54 let it go as though it had already happened as though you were already past
278:56 happened as though you were already past the event and the perfect outcome of the
278:59 the event and the perfect outcome of the event has already occurred as you
279:01 event has already occurred as you release it and let it go it drops like a
279:04 release it and let it go it drops like a computer card into the computer and the
279:06 computer card into the computer and the subconscious computer goes to work on it
279:08 subconscious computer goes to work on it powerful powerful technique and this
279:10 powerful powerful technique and this technique is based on what is called
279:11 technique is based on what is called mental rehearsal now mental rehearsal is
279:15 mental rehearsal now mental rehearsal is a technique that is used by all Peak
279:18 a technique that is used by all Peak Performing men and women it's used by
279:20 Performing men and women it's used by all self-made millionaires all
279:22 all self-made millionaires all outstanding salespeople all top
279:23 outstanding salespeople all top Executives all Olympic athletes all
279:26 Executives all Olympic athletes all world champions and any field use Mental
279:28 world champions and any field use Mental rehearsal and mental rehearsal is the
279:31 rehearsal and mental rehearsal is the process of living the experience inside
279:35 process of living the experience inside before you have it on the outside that
279:38 before you have it on the outside that means before any event of importance
279:40 means before any event of importance long sh term or short term what top
279:43 long sh term or short term what top performers do is they
279:46 performers do is they recall and relive Excellence they recall
279:50 recall and relive Excellence they recall and relive excellence in other words
279:54 and relive excellence in other words they think of the last time that they
279:57 they think of the last time that they engaged in a performance like this and
280:00 engaged in a performance like this and the satisfaction that they had the
280:01 the satisfaction that they had the pleasure that they had the feeling of an
280:03 pleasure that they had the feeling of an excellent performance and they take that
280:06 excellent performance and they take that feeling it's almost like they have a
280:07 feeling it's almost like they have a screen here and here's the screen you
280:09 screen here and here's the screen you take a split screen and and on this side
280:12 take a split screen and and on this side of the screen you recall the last time
280:15 of the screen you recall the last time you did this in an excellent fashion and
280:17 you did this in an excellent fashion and on this side of the screen you imagine
280:19 on this side of the screen you imagine the upcoming event and then when you get
280:21 the upcoming event and then when you get this perfectly clearly in your mind and
280:25 this perfectly clearly in your mind and you can see it with perfect clarity that
280:26 you can see it with perfect clarity that last Triumph that last success the last
280:29 last Triumph that last success the last sale that you closed the last interview
280:31 sale that you closed the last interview that went well the last successful party
280:33 that went well the last successful party or meeting or social engagement then you
280:35 or meeting or social engagement then you transfer this into the new situation
280:39 transfer this into the new situation that's upcoming and you transfer the
280:41 that's upcoming and you transfer the feeling and the experience and you
280:43 feeling and the experience and you overlay the two so that as you
280:46 overlay the two so that as you anticipate the upcoming experience you
280:48 anticipate the upcoming experience you combine it with the feelings of success
280:50 combine it with the feelings of success and pleasure and joy of the previous
280:53 and pleasure and joy of the previous excellent experience what that does is
280:55 excellent experience what that does is it programs the subconscious mind for
280:57 it programs the subconscious mind for you to go into that experience and
280:58 you to go into that experience and engage in the same words actions and
281:00 engage in the same words actions and behaviors you that got you the results
281:02 behaviors you that got you the results of success and winning the last time now
281:05 of success and winning the last time now what is the difference between winners
281:06 what is the difference between winners and losers major difference between
281:07 and losers major difference between winners and losers can you imagine what
281:10 winners and losers can you imagine what it is winners versus losers it's simply
281:13 it is winners versus losers it's simply this is that we all engage in mental
281:15 this is that we all engage in mental rehearsal you me everybody the
281:17 rehearsal you me everybody the difference between winners and losers is
281:18 difference between winners and losers is this is that prior to every event
281:20 this is that prior to every event upcoming event losers think of the last
281:23 upcoming event losers think of the last time they went into an experience like
281:24 time they went into an experience like this and it didn't work out they think
281:27 this and it didn't work out they think of their previous failures they vividly
281:30 of their previous failures they vividly imagine and think about how embarrassed
281:32 imagine and think about how embarrassed humiliated unsuccessful how badly they
281:35 humiliated unsuccessful how badly they felt and the losers relive and recall
281:38 felt and the losers relive and recall failure and poor performance the winner
281:41 failure and poor performance the winner insist upon reliving and recalling
281:44 insist upon reliving and recalling excellence and success so you can tell
281:46 excellence and success so you can tell if you're destined to be a winner or a
281:48 if you're destined to be a winner or a loser simply by looking at what you
281:50 loser simply by looking at what you think about in each coming event and if
281:52 think about in each coming event and if you just make the decision right now to
281:54 you just make the decision right now to think about what you desire ask yourself
281:57 think about what you desire ask yourself am I thinking about what I want to
281:58 am I thinking about what I want to happen or am I thinking about what I'm
282:00 happen or am I thinking about what I'm afraid will happen remember the natural
282:02 afraid will happen remember the natural tendency is to think about what you're
282:04 tendency is to think about what you're afraid of not what you desire so force
282:07 afraid of not what you desire so force your mind using the law of substitution
282:09 your mind using the law of substitution take your mind off of what to fear and
282:12 take your mind off of what to fear and refuse to entertain it there's a
282:14 refuse to entertain it there's a beautiful technique that I learned many
282:15 beautiful technique that I learned many years ago whenever you start to think
282:16 years ago whenever you start to think about something that's causing you to be
282:18 about something that's causing you to be upset or anxious or or tense just say
282:20 upset or anxious or or tense just say this word very very loud to yourself say
282:25 this word very very loud to yourself say stop stop it's very much the same as
282:28 stop stop it's very much the same as knocking the side of a record player and
282:30 knocking the side of a record player and joking the needle off the record player
282:32 joking the needle off the record player or slamming on a tape recorder or
282:34 or slamming on a tape recorder or shouting at a person who's saying
282:35 shouting at a person who's saying something just say stop and what it will
282:37 something just say stop and what it will do is temporarily it will stop your mind
282:40 do is temporarily it will stop your mind and as it stops mind then switch your
282:42 and as it stops mind then switch your attention onto what you desire and
282:45 attention onto what you desire and insist upon thinking about what you
282:46 insist upon thinking about what you desire and every single time you find
282:47 desire and every single time you find your thoughts drifting back to what
282:49 your thoughts drifting back to what you're afraid of say stop and get your
282:52 you're afraid of say stop and get your mind onto what you desire here's a very
282:54 mind onto what you desire here's a very simple uh diagram or graph and it's like
282:58 simple uh diagram or graph and it's like this this is what you desire this is
283:01 this this is what you desire this is what you
283:03 what you fear now here are you on this slope
283:07 fear now here are you on this slope between what you desire and what you
283:08 between what you desire and what you fear going up or going down this however
283:11 fear going up or going down this however is easy the natural tendency of human
283:14 is easy the natural tendency of human nature is to focus on what is negative
283:17 nature is to focus on what is negative and to slide back into what they fear
283:20 and to slide back into what they fear what is the worst possible outcome this
283:24 what is the worst possible outcome this requires
283:25 requires effort it requires a consistent effort
283:28 effort it requires a consistent effort to keep your mind on what you want now
283:30 to keep your mind on what you want now most people are lazy most people are
283:32 most people are lazy most people are undisciplined most people are not
283:33 undisciplined most people are not willing to make the effort so what they
283:35 willing to make the effort so what they do is they have a tendency to slide into
283:37 do is they have a tendency to slide into thinking about what is the worst thing
283:40 thinking about what is the worst thing that can possibly happen they slide into
283:43 that can possibly happen they slide into negativity that's why the great majority
283:45 negativity that's why the great majority of people today are negative and very
283:47 of people today are negative and very few people are positive so be alert to
283:48 few people are positive so be alert to that is that whenever you find yourself
283:51 that is that whenever you find yourself thinking about something that's coming
283:52 thinking about something that's coming up in advance it's natural to be filled
283:54 up in advance it's natural to be filled with doubt and fear are natural human
283:57 with doubt and fear are natural human Tendencies for a variety of reasons that
283:59 Tendencies for a variety of reasons that we talked about before but the superior
284:01 we talked about before but the superior human being keeps their mind on what
284:03 human being keeps their mind on what they want the superior human being stops
284:05 they want the superior human being stops the negative thoughts the superior human
284:07 the negative thoughts the superior human being concentrates on excellent
284:09 being concentrates on excellent performance now somebody will say well
284:11 performance now somebody will say well I've never done it before how can I
284:12 I've never done it before how can I concentrate or how can I recall and
284:14 concentrate or how can I recall and relive Excellence easy in your
284:16 relive Excellence easy in your imagination you can pretend and imagine
284:19 imagination you can pretend and imagine that you've done this before pretend
284:21 that you've done this before pretend that you've already succeeded at this
284:23 that you've already succeeded at this think about how you would act if you
284:24 think about how you would act if you were a superb success in this area walk
284:28 were a superb success in this area walk as though you were a success in neur
284:30 as though you were a success in neur linguistic programming they find that
284:32 linguistic programming they find that there is a physiological state or way of
284:35 there is a physiological state or way of walking talking and acting that is
284:37 walking talking and acting that is consistent with every emotional state
284:39 consistent with every emotional state and that if you walk and talk and act
284:40 and that if you walk and talk and act the same way you would if you felt
284:41 the same way you would if you felt confident as we said earlier you'll
284:43 confident as we said earlier you'll actually feel the feelings of confidence
284:45 actually feel the feelings of confidence that go with the behavior very important
284:47 that go with the behavior very important now here's another technique it's called
284:50 now here's another technique it's called standard programming technique or
284:52 standard programming technique or standard affirmation
284:55 standard affirmation technique and this technique is
284:58 technique and this technique is done with cards uh index cards and or
285:02 done with cards uh index cards and or you can use a series of goals on a piece
285:05 you can use a series of goals on a piece of paper very powerful technique what
285:07 of paper very powerful technique what you do with this is that here's the
285:09 you do with this is that here's the steps to standard affirm techniques you
285:11 steps to standard affirm techniques you set your goals you can set 10 to 15
285:13 set your goals you can set 10 to 15 goals your subconscious mind can work to
285:16 goals your subconscious mind can work to 10 on 10 to 15 goals at a time of course
285:19 10 on 10 to 15 goals at a time of course you have to have your goals in priority
285:20 you have to have your goals in priority but you don't have to worry about that
285:21 but you don't have to worry about that about 10 to 15 goals number two is you
285:24 about 10 to 15 goals number two is you take twice daily morning and evening
285:26 take twice daily morning and evening twice daily morning and
285:29 twice daily morning and evening you take some time off where
285:32 evening you take some time off where number three you can be with no
285:39 interruptions and then you write out your goals again in the form form of
285:41 your goals again in the form form of positive present tense personal
285:43 positive present tense personal affirmations okay goals
285:47 affirmations okay goals as positive present tense personal
285:50 as positive present tense personal affirmations on
285:52 affirmations on cards now many people advise that you
285:55 cards now many people advise that you use index cards so that you can slide
285:57 use index cards so that you can slide the cards back and forth like this um
285:59 the cards back and forth like this um and just put one on top of the other and
286:01 and just put one on top of the other and write your goal in very very large clear
286:04 write your goal in very very large clear letters so that the subconscious mind
286:06 letters so that the subconscious mind can see the goal with Crystal Clarity
286:08 can see the goal with Crystal Clarity and then you sit down with the goals and
286:11 and then you sit down with the goals and you read the goal to yourself you read
286:13 you read the goal to yourself you read the goal or the affirmation to yourself
286:16 the goal or the affirmation to yourself read
286:19 read repeat and then close your
286:22 repeat and then close your eyes so let us say the goal is I earn
286:25 eyes so let us say the goal is I earn $50,000 a year so we say on the card I
286:27 $50,000 a year so we say on the card I earn $50,000 I earn $50,000 a year you
286:30 earn $50,000 I earn $50,000 a year you read it you repeat it I earn $50,000 and
286:33 read it you repeat it I earn $50,000 and you close your eyes and repeat it three
286:35 you close your eyes and repeat it three to five times repeat the goal the goal
286:38 to five times repeat the goal the goal three to five times and the number six
286:40 three to five times and the number six step number six is
286:43 step number six is visualize the outcome in other words if
286:46 visualize the outcome in other words if you earn $50,000 a year what would be
286:49 you earn $50,000 a year what would be the outcome would it be a bigger car
286:51 the outcome would it be a bigger car would it be a bigger house would it be a
286:54 would it be a bigger house would it be a um uh a trip to Tahiti would it be a
286:56 um uh a trip to Tahiti would it be a different wardrobe would it be a Rolex
286:58 different wardrobe would it be a Rolex watch in other words visualize the
286:59 watch in other words visualize the outcome not the process so much as what
287:03 outcome not the process so much as what the result would be or another thing
287:05 the result would be or another thing that you can do by the way is you can
287:06 that you can do by the way is you can visualize the work let us say that you
287:09 visualize the work let us say that you are going to earn $50,000 and you
287:11 are going to earn $50,000 and you imagine you will earn it in your
287:12 imagine you will earn it in your existing profession then visualize
287:14 existing profession then visualize yourself doing the work in such an
287:16 yourself doing the work in such an excellent fashion that will it will
287:18 excellent fashion that will it will actually generate the income and then
287:20 actually generate the income and then step number seven is imagine the feeling
287:24 step number seven is imagine the feeling imagine the feeling that would accompany
287:26 imagine the feeling that would accompany the accomplishment of your goal imagine
287:29 the accomplishment of your goal imagine the feeling close your eyes and as you
287:33 the feeling close your eyes and as you sit there with your cards looking at
287:35 sit there with your cards looking at your cards imagine the feeling of
287:37 your cards imagine the feeling of satisfaction as though the goal is
287:39 satisfaction as though the goal is already accomplished imagine imagine the
287:41 already accomplished imagine imagine the feeling of pleasure imagine the feeling
287:43 feeling of pleasure imagine the feeling of accomplishment let us say that what
287:44 of accomplishment let us say that what you're going to do is you're going to
287:46 you're going to do is you're going to give yourself a trip to Tahiti you're
287:48 give yourself a trip to Tahiti you're going to go to the South Seas you're
287:50 going to go to the South Seas you're going to lay on the beach you're going
287:52 going to lay on the beach you're going to swim in the beautiful surf you're
287:54 to swim in the beautiful surf you're going to soak up the sun and get this
287:56 going to soak up the sun and get this beautiful tan then start thinking about
287:58 beautiful tan then start thinking about that another thing that you can do by
288:00 that another thing that you can do by the way is get brochures on Tahiti get a
288:03 the way is get brochures on Tahiti get a poster of tahti get a poster of a cruise
288:06 poster of tahti get a poster of a cruise ship get pictures of the things that
288:08 ship get pictures of the things that you're going to do and have and enjoy
288:10 you're going to do and have and enjoy that you associate because the more
288:12 that you associate because the more emotions you can associate with the
288:15 emotions you can associate with the accomplishment of the goal the more
288:16 accomplishment of the goal the more rapidly the subconscious accepts it as
288:18 rapidly the subconscious accepts it as an instruction and the more rapidly you
288:20 an instruction and the more rapidly you go to work on it now here's what I use
288:23 go to work on it now here's what I use by the way here's what you can use you
288:24 by the way here's what you can use you can use cards like this which are just
288:26 can use cards like this which are just index cards these ones don't have any
288:28 index cards these ones don't have any lines but you can use cards with lines
288:30 lines but you can use cards with lines and you just sit there and you just
288:32 and you just sit there and you just write out your goal and as you read the
288:34 write out your goal and as you read the goal repeat it three to five times
288:36 goal repeat it three to five times imagine it visualize it see yourself
288:38 imagine it visualize it see yourself doing whatever is necessary visualize
288:40 doing whatever is necessary visualize the outcome and then just change the
288:42 the outcome and then just change the card and go on to the next one the more
288:44 card and go on to the next one the more relaxed you are when you do this
288:46 relaxed you are when you do this exercise because of the law of
288:48 exercise because of the law of relaxation the most more rapidly the
288:49 relaxation the most more rapidly the subconscious accepts it here's something
288:51 subconscious accepts it here's something else that you might want to get it's one
288:53 else that you might want to get it's one of these spiral cards with index cards
288:56 of these spiral cards with index cards throughout it that you can write a
288:58 throughout it that you can write a variety of different affirmations on
289:00 variety of different affirmations on carry it around with you and just flip
289:01 carry it around with you and just flip it write affirmations down whenever you
289:03 it write affirmations down whenever you think of something that you want write
289:04 think of something that you want write it down and then just take some time
289:05 it down and then just take some time every so often to review your
289:07 every so often to review your affirmations now one file technique is
289:10 affirmations now one file technique is what is called Sports Programming
289:11 what is called Sports Programming technique which combines all the others
289:13 technique which combines all the others it's used by all top Olympic athletes it
289:15 it's used by all top Olympic athletes it combines mental rehearsal and relaxation
289:18 combines mental rehearsal and relaxation it's based on what is called autogenic
289:20 it's based on what is called autogenic conditioning which means that if you
289:21 conditioning which means that if you want to become better at a sport the
289:23 want to become better at a sport the technique is very simple first of all
289:26 technique is very simple first of all get some instruction in the sport learn
289:28 get some instruction in the sport learn from an expert study and learn what
289:31 from an expert study and learn what excellent performance in the sport
289:32 excellent performance in the sport constitutes second of all before you go
289:35 constitutes second of all before you go to sleep or sitting in a very relaxed
289:37 to sleep or sitting in a very relaxed position take several deep deep breaths
289:40 position take several deep deep breaths and relax your body and then visualize
289:43 and relax your body and then visualize perfect Sports Performance say you want
289:45 perfect Sports Performance say you want to be a better skier very simple what
289:48 to be a better skier very simple what you do is you learn how to ski you look
289:50 you do is you learn how to ski you look at films and pictures of people skiing
289:53 at films and pictures of people skiing excellently and then you visualize
289:55 excellently and then you visualize yourself actually being the skier you
289:57 yourself actually being the skier you close your eyes and you do two types of
290:00 close your eyes and you do two types of visualization the first type of
290:02 visualization the first type of visualization is where you look at
290:03 visualization is where you look at yourself actually skiing you look at
290:06 yourself actually skiing you look at yourself and you look at your
290:07 yourself and you look at your performance look at yourself going down
290:09 performance look at yourself going down the slope look at yourself turning
290:10 the slope look at yourself turning putting in the poles twisting and so on
290:13 putting in the poles twisting and so on you look at yourself skiing beautifully
290:15 you look at yourself skiing beautifully and watch yourself going almost as
290:17 and watch yourself going almost as though you were a spectator the second
290:20 though you were a spectator the second part of the visualization is you then
290:22 part of the visualization is you then shift your point of attention and you
290:25 shift your point of attention and you look at yourself from your own eyes and
290:28 look at yourself from your own eyes and actually see yourself going down the
290:30 actually see yourself going down the slope Sports affirmation technique is
290:33 slope Sports affirmation technique is used by all the major football teams the
290:36 used by all the major football teams the basketball teams the major figure
290:38 basketball teams the major figure skaters the top golfers virtually all
290:40 skaters the top golfers virtually all Olympic athletes train in their minds
290:43 Olympic athletes train in their minds over and over again for instance skaters
290:47 over and over again for instance skaters will sit down close their eyes put on
290:49 will sit down close their eyes put on their music and then they will go
290:51 their music and then they will go through their entire skating routine in
290:53 through their entire skating routine in their minds while their music is playing
290:56 their minds while their music is playing what happens is of course that in your
290:57 what happens is of course that in your mind you never fall so they program
291:00 mind you never fall so they program their minds over and over again and this
291:03 their minds over and over again and this is based on a very simple fact is that
291:04 is based on a very simple fact is that every time we visualize an action we
291:06 every time we visualize an action we actually send measurable impulses of
291:08 actually send measurable impulses of nerve energy to the legs arms muscles
291:10 nerve energy to the legs arms muscles and nerves
291:11 and nerves that would control the muscles that we
291:13 that would control the muscles that we would use if we actually engaged in that
291:15 would use if we actually engaged in that action if you want to be a better golfer
291:17 action if you want to be a better golfer better skier better tennis player better
291:18 better skier better tennis player better baseball player swimmer better public
291:20 baseball player swimmer better public speaker better anything you can use
291:23 speaker better anything you can use Sports affirmation technique to bring
291:24 Sports affirmation technique to bring about rapid programming changes the key
291:27 about rapid programming changes the key is this repetition visualization
291:31 is this repetition visualization relaxation and Clarity of your goals
291:33 relaxation and Clarity of your goals over and over again until they are
291:36 over and over again until they are accepted by the subconscious mind as
291:38 accepted by the subconscious mind as facts until they begin to become true
291:41 facts until they begin to become true in your reality and if you stick with it
291:43 in your reality and if you stick with it it will work for
291:59 you session 13 rapid learning techniques at the beginning of this seminar we
292:00 at the beginning of this seminar we talked about human potential and about
292:02 talked about human potential and about how the average person uses less than
292:03 how the average person uses less than 10% of their potential how Albert
292:06 10% of their potential how Albert Einstein's brain was removed from his
292:08 Einstein's brain was removed from his Cranium when he died and it was studied
292:10 Cranium when he died and it was studied at Cornell University and they found
292:11 at Cornell University and they found that he never used more than 15% of his
292:14 that he never used more than 15% of his mental potential in his entire lifetime
292:16 mental potential in his entire lifetime one of the great Geniuses of this
292:17 one of the great Geniuses of this Century what does this mean mental
292:19 Century what does this mean mental potential well it means the ability to
292:21 potential well it means the ability to use our thinking capacity it means the
292:24 use our thinking capacity it means the ability to activate the brain cells in
292:27 ability to activate the brain cells in what is called the neocortex or the
292:29 what is called the neocortex or the thinking brain of mankind and one of the
292:32 thinking brain of mankind and one of the things we're going to talk about in this
292:34 things we're going to talk about in this session is how you can use your brain
292:36 session is how you can use your brain more effectively and some of the things
292:37 more effectively and some of the things that have been done to help people
292:39 that have been done to help people develop and learn rapid learning
292:42 develop and learn rapid learning techniques or what we call whole brain
292:43 techniques or what we call whole brain learning accelerated learning or even
292:46 learning accelerated learning or even super learning one of the things that we
292:47 super learning one of the things that we know is that the average person really
292:50 know is that the average person really uses not much more than 1 or 2% of their
292:52 uses not much more than 1 or 2% of their thinking capacity that we don't use 10%
292:55 thinking capacity that we don't use 10% because if you could use 10% of your
292:57 because if you could use 10% of your brain you could accomplish anything you
292:58 brain you could accomplish anything you could Dream Of on this Earth our role in
293:01 could Dream Of on this Earth our role in this session is to show you how to use
293:03 this session is to show you how to use more of it we know some things about the
293:05 more of it we know some things about the brain we know one thing with regard to
293:08 brain we know one thing with regard to intelligence is that intelligence is not
293:10 intelligence is that intelligence is not not a matter of IQ intelligence is a way
293:13 not a matter of IQ intelligence is a way of acting and a way of thinking when we
293:15 of acting and a way of thinking when we look at people who are apparently
293:17 look at people who are apparently extremely intelligent we find one thing
293:19 extremely intelligent we find one thing we find that they are not much more
293:21 we find that they are not much more intelligent than you or I but they have
293:23 intelligent than you or I but they have developed their intelligence so let's
293:25 developed their intelligence so let's put it this way intelligence is
293:28 put it this way intelligence is developed through effort intelligence is
293:31 developed through effort intelligence is developed the same way that muscles are
293:33 developed the same way that muscles are developed a person who has an
293:36 developed a person who has an intelligence with regard to a business
293:38 intelligence with regard to a business or a profession a lawyer or a doctor or
293:40 or a profession a lawyer or a doctor or a business bus person does not
293:42 a business bus person does not necessarily is not necessarily A person
293:43 necessarily is not necessarily A person who was born with that genius it's a
293:45 who was born with that genius it's a person who has developed it as a result
293:47 person who has developed it as a result of years and years of study and practice
293:50 of years and years of study and practice so look upon intelligence like a muscle
293:52 so look upon intelligence like a muscle IQ is malleable IQ or percentage points
293:56 IQ is malleable IQ or percentage points or mental ability is malleable over a
293:59 or mental ability is malleable over a broad range remember we talked about the
294:01 broad range remember we talked about the case of positive expectations where one
294:04 case of positive expectations where one student's IQ jumped 25 points in the
294:08 student's IQ jumped 25 points in the course of one school year this is very
294:10 course of one school year this is very we've had many cases on record where IQ
294:12 we've had many cases on record where IQ points in other words the total thinking
294:15 points in other words the total thinking ability of an individual has jumped 10
294:16 ability of an individual has jumped 10 20 30 points as a result of a particular
294:19 20 30 points as a result of a particular way of learning or a particular way of
294:21 way of learning or a particular way of studying and we'll talk about some of
294:22 studying and we'll talk about some of these ideas so IQ is malleable over a
294:25 these ideas so IQ is malleable over a broad range what I'm saying is that you
294:27 broad range what I'm saying is that you are far smarter than you know you are
294:29 are far smarter than you know you are far more intelligent than you've ever
294:31 far more intelligent than you've ever given yourself credit for we also know
294:33 given yourself credit for we also know that IQ is a matter of
294:36 that IQ is a matter of self-concept there are many people who
294:38 self-concept there are many people who have been found to be extremely
294:41 have been found to be extremely intelligent but because they've been
294:43 intelligent but because they've been brought up in negative environments had
294:45 brought up in negative environments had been convinced at an early age that they
294:47 been convinced at an early age that they weren't particularly bright one
294:49 weren't particularly bright one gentleman who was encouraged to leave
294:51 gentleman who was encouraged to leave school in the 10th grade because they
294:52 school in the 10th grade because they felt he was a complete academic failure
294:55 felt he was a complete academic failure was turned out later to have an IQ of
294:58 was turned out later to have an IQ of 175 when he tried to enlist in the Army
295:01 175 when he tried to enlist in the Army after he got out of the army he started
295:02 after he got out of the army he started six businesses and became a
295:03 six businesses and became a multi-millionaire by the age of 28
295:06 multi-millionaire by the age of 28 because they proved to him that he was
295:07 because they proved to him that he was brilliant the reason he didn't pay
295:09 brilliant the reason he didn't pay attention in school was not because he
295:11 attention in school was not because he didn't have the intelligence but because
295:13 didn't have the intelligence but because he learned everything the first time it
295:14 he learned everything the first time it was mentioned and he was totally bored
295:17 was mentioned and he was totally bored you find that many people are far
295:20 you find that many people are far smarter than they realize because but as
295:22 smarter than they realize because but as a result of previous experiences their
295:24 a result of previous experiences their self-concept has them functioning at
295:26 self-concept has them functioning at levels far below their intelligence and
295:28 levels far below their intelligence and that is true for you in almost every
295:30 that is true for you in almost every single case now another important point
295:33 single case now another important point is learning ability is malleable
295:36 is learning ability is malleable learning ability is
295:38 learning ability is malleable what does that mean more
295:40 malleable what does that mean more malleable means it can be shaped it can
295:42 malleable means it can be shaped it can be bent it's like a metal that can be
295:44 be bent it's like a metal that can be bent and pounded learning ability is
295:47 bent and pounded learning ability is malleable in that you can learn to learn
295:51 malleable in that you can learn to learn wonderful thing is human beings are
295:53 wonderful thing is human beings are learning creatures you can learn to
295:55 learning creatures you can learn to learn whatever you want and the more you
295:58 learn whatever you want and the more you learn the more we have found the greater
295:59 learn the more we have found the greater capacity you have to learn is that
296:01 capacity you have to learn is that learning ability is like a muscle the
296:03 learning ability is like a muscle the more you stretch it the more you use it
296:05 more you stretch it the more you use it the greater its capacity becomes the
296:07 the greater its capacity becomes the more you learn math the more capable you
296:09 more you learn math the more capable you are of learning history the more you
296:11 are of learning history the more you study philosophy the more capable you
296:12 study philosophy the more capable you are of learning psychology that your
296:14 are of learning psychology that your capacity to learn expands as you learn
296:17 capacity to learn expands as you learn any subject now there's another
296:19 any subject now there's another important Point too with regard to
296:20 important Point too with regard to learning is that if you want to earn
296:22 learning is that if you want to earn more you have to learn more if you want
296:25 more you have to learn more if you want to earn more you have to learn more this
296:27 to earn more you have to learn more this is one of the most important simple trit
296:30 is one of the most important simple trit little Expressions that you'll ever hear
296:32 little Expressions that you'll ever hear is that we live in a knowledge-based
296:33 is that we live in a knowledge-based world and your external world of
296:35 world and your external world of earnings will be a direct reflection of
296:38 earnings will be a direct reflection of the amount of useful knowledge that you
296:39 the amount of useful knowledge that you take in so if you're like me you're
296:42 take in so if you're like me you're probably impatient and you probably
296:43 probably impatient and you probably would like to know how to learn more
296:45 would like to know how to learn more faster so that you can earn more faster
296:47 faster so that you can earn more faster and that's what we're going to talk
296:48 and that's what we're going to talk about our third Point by the way is is a
296:51 about our third Point by the way is is a direct relationship between longevity
296:53 direct relationship between longevity and
296:54 and learning is that we find that the more
296:57 learning is that we find that the more active your mind is the longer you live
297:01 active your mind is the longer you live that there whenever you see cases of
297:03 that there whenever you see cases of people beginning to develop senility in
297:05 people beginning to develop senility in their early 60s you see an example of a
297:08 their early 60s you see an example of a person who stopped reading a long time
297:10 person who stopped reading a long time time ago and started watching a lot of
297:12 time ago and started watching a lot of Television senior citizens in America
297:14 Television senior citizens in America watch an average of 7 hours of
297:16 watch an average of 7 hours of Television per day and what it does is
297:19 Television per day and what it does is it makes their mind very very passive
297:21 it makes their mind very very passive their brain begins to atrophy their
297:23 their brain begins to atrophy their reflexes their intelligence their
297:26 reflexes their intelligence their ability to respond and to be alert to
297:27 ability to respond and to be alert to their environment begins to deteriorate
297:29 their environment begins to deteriorate the longer you learn the longer you
297:31 the longer you learn the longer you study the more active you keep mentally
297:33 study the more active you keep mentally the more energy you have the more
297:36 the more energy you have the more Vitality the healthier you are in fact
297:39 Vitality the healthier you are in fact if you look at the lives of the great
297:41 if you look at the lives of the great creative men and women like Guta began
297:43 creative men and women like Guta began the composition of the second part of fa
297:46 the composition of the second part of fa when he was 85 Grandma Moses started
297:48 when he was 85 Grandma Moses started painting at the age of 75 and was still
297:50 painting at the age of 75 and was still painting at the age of 100 Albert
297:52 painting at the age of 100 Albert schwitzer whom I worked with in Africa
297:54 schwitzer whom I worked with in Africa was still working a full day at the age
297:56 was still working a full day at the age of 91 when most of the people if not all
297:58 of 91 when most of the people if not all the people he had grown up with had been
298:00 the people he had grown up with had been in their graves for decades so there's a
298:03 in their graves for decades so there's a there if if for no other reason then the
298:05 there if if for no other reason then the fact that you want to live forever is
298:07 fact that you want to live forever is you must become an active intelligent
298:09 you must become an active intelligent learner you must develop the capacity to
298:11 learner you must develop the capacity to learn you must learn how to learn now a
298:13 learn you must learn how to learn now a few years ago back in the 50s in
298:15 few years ago back in the 50s in Bulgaria a man named giorgi lenov began
298:19 Bulgaria a man named giorgi lenov began some experiments that have had a
298:22 some experiments that have had a tremendous La lenov had have had a
298:25 tremendous La lenov had have had a tremendous influence on our thinking in
298:28 tremendous influence on our thinking in the Western World in the last couple of
298:30 the Western World in the last couple of decades uh a tremendous book has been
298:32 decades uh a tremendous book has been written on his work called super
298:34 written on his work called super learning talking about the results of
298:36 learning talking about the results of his experiments and lozanov began
298:38 his experiments and lozanov began studying the fact that information was
298:40 studying the fact that information was exploding at such a rate that nobody
298:42 exploding at such a rate that nobody could keep current on their field
298:44 could keep current on their field anymore that no matter what field you
298:46 anymore that no matter what field you were in tens hundreds even thousands of
298:48 were in tens hundreds even thousands of Articles were being written every year
298:50 Articles were being written every year that nobody could absorb the information
298:51 that nobody could absorb the information so he became preoccupied with the need
298:55 so he became preoccupied with the need to create a way for people to learn more
298:58 to create a way for people to learn more rapidly he called his system accelerated
299:00 rapidly he called his system accelerated learning we call it rapid learning some
299:03 learning we call it rapid learning some people call it super learning it means
299:05 people call it super learning it means the same thing it means how can you take
299:07 the same thing it means how can you take in more information at a faster rate and
299:10 in more information at a faster rate and what Lozano found was this he began as a
299:13 what Lozano found was this he began as a pioneer of whole brain research he found
299:16 pioneer of whole brain research he found that there are really two hemispheres of
299:18 that there are really two hemispheres of the brain and the two hemispheres of the
299:20 the brain and the two hemispheres of the brain perform different functions and
299:22 brain perform different functions and that people who learn the very best are
299:24 that people who learn the very best are capable of harmonizing and using both
299:26 capable of harmonizing and using both hemispheres of the brain if the left
299:29 hemispheres of the brain if the left hemisphere is responsible for certain
299:31 hemisphere is responsible for certain functions the right is responsible for
299:33 functions the right is responsible for certain functions he also found that
299:35 certain functions he also found that there's a massive tissue that divides
299:37 there's a massive tissue that divides the brains called the corus colossum and
299:39 the brains called the corus colossum and that children children up to the age of
299:41 that children children up to the age of 5 or six learn at about 25 times the
299:45 5 or six learn at about 25 times the adult rate and his thoughts were would
299:47 adult rate and his thoughts were would it be possible to recreate the
299:49 it be possible to recreate the conditions that exist in early childhood
299:52 conditions that exist in early childhood that enable children to learn at a
299:53 that enable children to learn at a fantastic rate of speed in adult life
299:57 fantastic rate of speed in adult life and so he found that in looking at the
299:58 and so he found that in looking at the functions of the brains he found that
300:00 functions of the brains he found that the left hemisphere and the right
300:01 the left hemisphere and the right hemisphere were responsible for very
300:03 hemisphere were responsible for very different ways of thinking let me give
300:05 different ways of thinking let me give you some examples for instance the left
300:06 you some examples for instance the left hemisphere is verbal it thinks in terms
300:09 hemisphere is verbal it thinks in terms of words the right pict the the the
300:11 of words the right pict the the the right hemisphere is pictorial or
300:13 right hemisphere is pictorial or artistic it thinks in terms of pictures
300:16 artistic it thinks in terms of pictures the left hemisphere is um
300:21 the left hemisphere is um analytical whereas the right hemisphere
300:23 analytical whereas the right hemisphere is holistic it sees all the facts and
300:27 is holistic it sees all the facts and information it it sees the big picture
300:29 information it it sees the big picture if you like the left hemisphere is
300:31 if you like the left hemisphere is pragmatic it's very matter of factual
300:34 pragmatic it's very matter of factual the right hemisphere is
300:36 the right hemisphere is intuitive and is the seat of intuition
300:39 intuitive and is the seat of intuition and feelings uh the left hemisphere is
300:41 and feelings uh the left hemisphere is concrete it likes to see things that it
300:43 concrete it likes to see things that it can count touch taste and feel the left
300:46 can count touch taste and feel the left the I'm sorry the left hemisphere the
300:47 the I'm sorry the left hemisphere the right hemisphere is
300:49 right hemisphere is abstract is it's responsible for
300:51 abstract is it's responsible for abstract Concepts scientific Concepts
300:53 abstract Concepts scientific Concepts artistic or philosophic concepts the
300:56 artistic or philosophic concepts the left hemisphere is
300:58 left hemisphere is linear in that it sees things in an
301:01 linear in that it sees things in an orderly row and it is also
301:04 orderly row and it is also sequential and likes to take things one
301:07 sequential and likes to take things one thing at a time the right hemisphere on
301:09 thing at a time the right hemisphere on the the other hand is
301:11 the the other hand is musical and
301:14 musical and artistic if you like and uh spontaneous
301:18 artistic if you like and uh spontaneous and is responsible for humor the left
301:21 and is responsible for humor the left hemisphere is responsible for
301:23 hemisphere is responsible for language the stringing together of words
301:26 language the stringing together of words in logical order to make sentences it's
301:28 in logical order to make sentences it's also responsible for
301:30 also responsible for math the right hemisphere is responsible
301:33 math the right hemisphere is responsible for
301:34 for dance and for
301:37 dance and for poetry and these two hemispheres in
301:39 poetry and these two hemispheres in order to work properly have to be
301:41 order to work properly have to be harmonized but they have very very
301:43 harmonized but they have very very different functions and when as lozanov
301:45 different functions and when as lozanov did his research he found another thing
301:48 did his research he found another thing is that when he studied the way that
301:49 is that when he studied the way that people learned he found that people
301:51 people learned he found that people learned at different levels of brain
301:53 learned at different levels of brain wave activities and a as a result of
301:56 wave activities and a as a result of different things for instance he found
301:57 different things for instance he found that the brain functions at four
301:59 that the brain functions at four different levels and the first level is
302:01 different levels and the first level is what is called the beta level the beta
302:04 what is called the beta level the beta level is 14 Waves per second or above
302:07 level is 14 Waves per second or above the beta level is normal waking this is
302:09 the beta level is normal waking this is is where you and I are whenever our mind
302:11 is where you and I are whenever our mind is very active very intense our brain
302:14 is very active very intense our brain wave activity or what is called Cycles
302:16 wave activity or what is called Cycles our brain wave activity is very frantic
302:18 our brain wave activity is very frantic this is where most of us spend most of
302:20 this is where most of us spend most of our time it's also the time where we
302:23 our time it's also the time where we learn the least efficiently he said he
302:26 learn the least efficiently he said he found that below beta was the alpha
302:29 found that below beta was the alpha level the alpha level was 8 to 13 waves
302:32 level the alpha level was 8 to 13 waves or cycles per second and this was a more
302:36 or cycles per second and this was a more if you like modulated wave level and he
302:38 if you like modulated wave level and he found that we have a tendency to learn
302:40 found that we have a tendency to learn in this stage this is the uh deep
302:42 in this stage this is the uh deep relaxation stage this is the stage that
302:44 relaxation stage this is the stage that we're in when we're sitting deeply
302:46 we're in when we're sitting deeply relaxed when we're daydreaming if you
302:47 relaxed when we're daydreaming if you like or prior to going to sleep we drop
302:50 like or prior to going to sleep we drop into this level just below the alpha
302:52 into this level just below the alpha level is what is called the Theta level
302:54 level is what is called the Theta level the Theta level is five to seven waves
302:56 the Theta level is five to seven waves per second the Theta level has again
302:59 per second the Theta level has again bigger waves and this Theta level is
303:01 bigger waves and this Theta level is where we just are ready starting to drop
303:04 where we just are ready starting to drop into dreaming it's called the uh the
303:06 into dreaming it's called the uh the hallucinatory or illusionary area where
303:10 hallucinatory or illusionary area where we're starting to have dreams just
303:12 we're starting to have dreams just before we fall asleep have you ever had
303:13 before we fall asleep have you ever had the experience of being woken up just as
303:15 the experience of being woken up just as you're falling asleep and being jerked
303:17 you're falling asleep and being jerked out suddenly from this Theta level you
303:19 out suddenly from this Theta level you weren't into Delta you weren't sound
303:21 weren't into Delta you weren't sound asleep and you notice how jarring it is
303:23 asleep and you notice how jarring it is but what Lozan found was the alpha Theta
303:26 but what Lozan found was the alpha Theta level this level in here is where we do
303:28 level this level in here is where we do our best learning and that when we are
303:31 our best learning and that when we are learning at this at this level our
303:34 learning at this at this level our ability to learn is dramatically
303:35 ability to learn is dramatically increased and just below Theta is Delta
303:38 increased and just below Theta is Delta and Delta is 1/2 four Waves per second
303:42 and Delta is 1/2 four Waves per second and these are long waves if you like now
303:45 and these are long waves if you like now of course below half a wave per second
303:47 of course below half a wave per second you are no longer working as a matter of
303:49 you are no longer working as a matter of fact the cessation of brain wave
303:50 fact the cessation of brain wave activity on electroencephalogram is one
303:52 activity on electroencephalogram is one of the clinical definitions of death now
303:55 of the clinical definitions of death now what was of tried to do was he said
303:57 what was of tried to do was he said would it be possible to bring people
304:00 would it be possible to bring people down from beta where they're awake into
304:03 down from beta where they're awake into this Alpha Theta level and somehow
304:06 this Alpha Theta level and somehow activate the right and the left brains
304:08 activate the right and the left brains so that they work s simultaneously and
304:10 so that they work s simultaneously and he came up with a method using music
304:13 he came up with a method using music using music and
304:20 relaxation and he began his experiments back in
304:22 back in 1965 66 in Bulgaria one of the most
304:25 1965 66 in Bulgaria one of the most interesting experiments he started off
304:27 interesting experiments he started off with language and the language he choose
304:29 with language and the language he choose was the language of French now if you
304:32 was the language of French now if you were to take a French course at your
304:33 were to take a French course at your local University as an adult you would
304:36 local University as an adult you would be expected in a 3-hour period and 3
304:38 be expected in a 3-hour period and 3 hours seems to be the ideal study period
304:40 hours seems to be the ideal study period for a language you'd be expected in 3
304:43 for a language you'd be expected in 3 hours to learn approximately 25 to 40
304:48 hours to learn approximately 25 to 40 words and you'd be expected to have a
304:51 words and you'd be expected to have a retention level up until the final exam
304:54 retention level up until the final exam with due study and so on of about 80% uh
304:58 with due study and so on of about 80% uh and maybe less as a matter of fact what
305:00 and maybe less as a matter of fact what lazan found he said that most of the
305:02 lazan found he said that most of the ways that we learn in our society are so
305:04 ways that we learn in our society are so inefficient as to be deplorable in that
305:06 inefficient as to be deplorable in that the average person who gets a University
305:08 the average person who gets a University degree in our society after 4 years and
305:10 degree in our society after 4 years and $25 to $50,000 of expenses forgets 80 to
305:14 $25 to $50,000 of expenses forgets 80 to 90% of everything they learned at the
305:17 90% of everything they learned at the University before the summer after the
305:20 University before the summer after the university the final year is over as a
305:22 university the final year is over as a matter of fact as much as 80% is lost in
305:24 matter of fact as much as 80% is lost in the first 30 days it was been postulated
305:27 the first 30 days it was been postulated by a couple of University professors if
305:29 by a couple of University professors if you want to clear out most of the
305:30 you want to clear out most of the universities in the country very simple
305:32 universities in the country very simple very simple way to do it is call
305:34 very simple way to do it is call everybody back 48 hours after final
305:38 everybody back 48 hours after final exams to rewrite without notice and you
305:40 exams to rewrite without notice and you would find that the traditional way of
305:42 would find that the traditional way of learning which is to cram the brain with
305:44 learning which is to cram the brain with as much information as possible and to
305:46 as much information as possible and to rush into the exam room and regurgitate
305:48 rush into the exam room and regurgitate the information onto the exam and then
305:51 the information onto the exam and then go back and recover and do it over again
305:53 go back and recover and do it over again this way of learning is so inefficient
305:55 this way of learning is so inefficient that almost all the information we take
305:57 that almost all the information we take in that way is lost completely that's
305:59 in that way is lost completely that's why if you took a language course in
306:00 why if you took a language course in school and then you ever went to one of
306:02 school and then you ever went to one of the countries where you uh where they
306:05 the countries where you uh where they spoke the language you found that you
306:06 spoke the language you found that you probably couldn't remember more than
306:08 probably couldn't remember more than three or four words and even those you
306:09 three or four words and even those you had wrong well so lozanov decided to use
306:12 had wrong well so lozanov decided to use music and relaxation and this is what he
306:14 music and relaxation and this is what he did under very closely controlled
306:16 did under very closely controlled conditions he brought in uh 60 students
306:19 conditions he brought in uh 60 students these 60 students were drawn from a
306:20 these 60 students were drawn from a variety of occupations none of them had
306:23 variety of occupations none of them had any knowledge of French at all they were
306:25 any knowledge of French at all they were very closely monitored and screened by
306:27 very closely monitored and screened by uh people who were not favorable toward
306:30 uh people who were not favorable toward this experiment so it's very R
306:32 this experiment so it's very R rigorously controlled in 1966 he brought
306:35 rigorously controlled in 1966 he brought in these 60 people and his he felt that
306:38 in these 60 people and his he felt that he would have to greatly in increase the
306:40 he would have to greatly in increase the average level of learning in order to
306:42 average level of learning in order to get approval for the establishment of
306:44 get approval for the establishment of his Institute of
306:46 his Institute of sesty uh The Institute of sesty and
306:48 sesty uh The Institute of sesty and suggestopedia was was subsequently set
306:51 suggestopedia was was subsequently set up in Sophia Bulgaria what he found what
306:53 up in Sophia Bulgaria what he found what he did is he took these people and we
306:55 he did is he took these people and we had 60 people and his goal was to get
306:57 had 60 people and his goal was to get them to 150
306:59 them to 150 words per session 100 to 150 words per
307:02 words per session 100 to 150 words per session with higher levels of
307:04 session with higher levels of retention what they did is they bought
307:06 retention what they did is they bought them in they played gentle relaxing
307:09 them in they played gentle relaxing music they turned down the lights and
307:12 music they turned down the lights and they read them the words on cards with
307:14 they read them the words on cards with the French on one side the Bulgarian on
307:16 the French on one side the Bulgarian on the other and as they read them the
307:18 the other and as they read them the words the students repeated the words in
307:20 words the students repeated the words in a deeply relaxed State and they brought
307:22 a deeply relaxed State and they brought them up to a state of full
307:24 them up to a state of full awareness and reviewed the words and
307:26 awareness and reviewed the words and then tested them on it they found from
307:28 then tested them on it they found from the very beginning three sessions first
307:30 the very beginning three sessions first of all review in aware State second of
307:32 of all review in aware State second of all listening to the words in deep
307:34 all listening to the words in deep relaxation third of all review in an
307:36 relaxation third of all review in an aware State again they found that from
307:38 aware State again they found that from the very first session they were getting
307:40 the very first session they were getting 98% retention in that in testing at the
307:44 98% retention in that in testing at the end of each session they were
307:45 end of each session they were remembering 98% of what they learned
307:47 remembering 98% of what they learned they conducted this experiment for 6
307:48 they conducted this experiment for 6 weeks and every single student in the
307:50 weeks and every single student in the class got up to a 98% retention rate
307:53 class got up to a 98% retention rate with no experience in the language at
307:54 with no experience in the language at all now before they disbanded this
307:56 all now before they disbanded this experiment in ' 66 he called for
307:58 experiment in ' 66 he called for volunteers and got 15 more 15 of 15 of
308:01 volunteers and got 15 more 15 of 15 of these students volunteered and they said
308:03 these students volunteered and they said what it be possible to learn 500 words
308:06 what it be possible to learn 500 words in one day well they came in on a
308:08 in one day well they came in on a Saturday they worked all day cuz nobody
308:12 Saturday they worked all day cuz nobody in recorded history had ever learned 500
308:14 in recorded history had ever learned 500 words in a day and at the end of the day
308:16 words in a day and at the end of the day they tested out at 98% retention on 500
308:19 they tested out at 98% retention on 500 words now an interesting point is that
308:21 words now an interesting point is that many of these people were suffering
308:23 many of these people were suffering nervous disorders as a matter of fact uh
308:25 nervous disorders as a matter of fact uh 40% of them were drawn from the
308:27 40% of them were drawn from the registers of psychologists and
308:28 registers of psychologists and psychiatrists and after this six week
308:31 psychiatrists and after this six week learning period learning 150 words a day
308:33 learning period learning 150 words a day almost every one of them was completely
308:35 almost every one of them was completely better that there was no stress in this
308:37 better that there was no stress in this type of learning that it was very very
308:39 type of learning that it was very very Rel relaxing that they found that it
308:40 Rel relaxing that they found that it cleared their minds and they felt
308:42 cleared their minds and they felt wonderful afterwards as opposed to our
308:44 wonderful afterwards as opposed to our current way of learning which is so
308:45 current way of learning which is so stressful and so tension so so tense and
308:47 stressful and so tension so so tense and so competitive they found that after
308:49 so competitive they found that after this 500 words at the end of the day
308:52 this 500 words at the end of the day everybody felt great there was no stress
308:54 everybody felt great there was no stress no fatigue nothing Well he said let's
308:56 no fatigue nothing Well he said let's see if we it's possible to increase this
308:58 see if we it's possible to increase this before we disband the experiment and he
309:00 before we disband the experiment and he called back 12 of the students the best
309:03 called back 12 of the students the best Learners uh two weeks later they got
309:05 Learners uh two weeks later they got together to see if they could learn a
309:07 together to see if they could learn a thousand words in one day a th brand new
309:10 thousand words in one day a th brand new words in one day the sum the result of
309:13 words in one day the sum the result of it was that at the end of the day they
309:15 it was that at the end of the day they were able to learn the thousand words
309:17 were able to learn the thousand words and test out at 98% interesting later on
309:20 and test out at 98% interesting later on about 6 months later they brought these
309:22 about 6 months later they brought these students all back to see how much of the
309:24 students all back to see how much of the language they had retained with no
309:26 language they had retained with no opportunity to read in it no opportunity
309:28 opportunity to read in it no opportunity to speak it they found that they tested
309:31 to speak it they found that they tested out at
309:32 out at 69% recall without any review and with
309:35 69% recall without any review and with one review the entire class was back up
309:37 one review the entire class was back up to 98% in other words
309:40 to 98% in other words this method of music with deep
309:41 this method of music with deep relaxation dropping into Alpha Theta and
309:44 relaxation dropping into Alpha Theta and activating both brains had led to a
309:46 activating both brains had led to a dramatic increase in learning ability
309:48 dramatic increase in learning ability now in
309:54 1974 lozanov under controlled experiment got the rate up to 18800 words in one
309:57 got the rate up to 18800 words in one day with 98% retention in 1979 in a
310:01 day with 98% retention in 1979 in a special experiment with selected
310:04 special experiment with selected students lozanov got the rate up to
310:07 students lozanov got the rate up to 3,000 words in one one day in other
310:10 3,000 words in one one day in other words by activating the brain and with
310:12 words by activating the brain and with still 98% retention now this is a
310:15 still 98% retention now this is a phenomenal thing it's almost an it's
310:17 phenomenal thing it's almost an it's almost an unheard of thing to to believe
310:19 almost an unheard of thing to to believe but what lozanov has found is that the
310:21 but what lozanov has found is that the learning capacity of the brain is
310:24 learning capacity of the brain is infinite that the capacity of your brain
310:27 infinite that the capacity of your brain to learn and to take in information for
310:30 to learn and to take in information for example if you speak English well you
310:34 example if you speak English well you probably speak and use about 1,200 to
310:38 probably speak and use about 1,200 to 2,000 words in the course of your
310:39 2,000 words in the course of your day-to-day life all you need is 2,000
310:42 day-to-day life all you need is 2,000 words to be functionally fluent in any
310:44 words to be functionally fluent in any language the average English-speaking
310:46 language the average English-speaking person uses less than 1200 words as a
310:49 person uses less than 1200 words as a matter of fact some people uh and
310:51 matter of fact some people uh and especially as you go down the
310:52 especially as you go down the educational ladder use sometimes less
310:54 educational ladder use sometimes less than 500 words in their entire language
310:56 than 500 words in their entire language but 2,000 words will enable you to read
310:58 but 2,000 words will enable you to read any newspaper any magazine watch any
311:00 any newspaper any magazine watch any program radio television except
311:02 program radio television except something of a technical nature what
311:04 something of a technical nature what lozanov proved was it's possible for a
311:06 lozanov proved was it's possible for a person to learn one language per day
311:10 person to learn one language per day permanently now this learning technology
311:13 permanently now this learning technology is beginning to change the way that we
311:14 is beginning to change the way that we learn it's beginning to revolutionize
311:17 learn it's beginning to revolutionize all of our understandings about language
311:19 all of our understandings about language lozanov has also developed many other
311:21 lozanov has also developed many other techniques and understandings he found
311:22 techniques and understandings he found that gentle classical music is a
311:26 that gentle classical music is a critical part of this learning that
311:27 critical part of this learning that Baroque music with 60 beat Baroque that
311:30 Baroque music with 60 beat Baroque that slows down the heart rate and slows down
311:32 slows down the heart rate and slows down the brain wave activity rate so that the
311:34 the brain wave activity rate so that the body and the mind get into sync with the
311:36 body and the mind get into sync with the music and the incoming information is
311:39 music and the incoming information is critical that you can learn technical
311:41 critical that you can learn technical subjects you can learn medicine
311:42 subjects you can learn medicine philosophy psychology I have taken
311:44 philosophy psychology I have taken extended courses now in accelerated or
311:46 extended courses now in accelerated or optimal learning to learn these
311:48 optimal learning to learn these methodologies and what I have found is
311:50 methodologies and what I have found is that you can learn even without any of
311:52 that you can learn even without any of the science or technology you can learn
311:54 the science or technology you can learn things very very rapidly if you'll do
311:56 things very very rapidly if you'll do two or three things here are the keys to
311:59 two or three things here are the keys to speeding up the way that you learn
312:01 speeding up the way that you learn number one is Define what it is you want
312:05 number one is Define what it is you want to learn and need to learn in order to
312:07 to learn and need to learn in order to be more successful and more effective
312:09 be more successful and more effective you cannot learn something that you're
312:10 you cannot learn something that you're not interested in you cannot learn
312:12 not interested in you cannot learn something that does not hold your
312:13 something that does not hold your attention you cannot learn something
312:14 attention you cannot learn something that is boring so make sure that what
312:16 that is boring so make sure that what you're studying is important to you so
312:18 you're studying is important to you so number one is to Define it and when you
312:20 number one is to Define it and when you begin to study Define your purpose why
312:23 begin to study Define your purpose why are you learning this subject think it
312:25 are you learning this subject think it through read it through study it and
312:27 through read it through study it and only study things with an aim in mind
312:30 only study things with an aim in mind remember you have to have a goal number
312:32 remember you have to have a goal number two is you must have an intense desire
312:35 two is you must have an intense desire to learn you must have a desire in other
312:38 to learn you must have a desire in other words you cannot learn because somebody
312:39 words you cannot learn because somebody else wants you to learn number three is
312:41 else wants you to learn number three is always study when you can with classical
312:45 always study when you can with classical music gentle classical music with no
312:47 music gentle classical music with no words gentle classical music of any kind
312:50 words gentle classical music of any kind especially music from The Classical
312:52 especially music from The Classical period of Mozart Bach brahs dorek
312:56 period of Mozart Bach brahs dorek Beethoven uh and um uh uh Stravinsky for
313:00 Beethoven uh and um uh uh Stravinsky for instance these these music these these
313:03 instance these these music these these composers have a classical 60 beat
313:06 composers have a classical 60 beat Baroque BackBeat within their music and
313:08 Baroque BackBeat within their music and if if you play with classical music or
313:11 if if you play with classical music or even environmental sounds like the
313:12 even environmental sounds like the sounds of waves or the oceans white
313:14 sounds of waves or the oceans white music as it's called you have that in
313:16 music as it's called you have that in the background it relaxes the brain it
313:18 the background it relaxes the brain it opens the left and the right Hemisphere
313:20 opens the left and the right Hemisphere and it allows information to come
313:23 and it allows information to come in through the left brain and be
313:27 in through the left brain and be internalized into the right brain where
313:29 internalized into the right brain where it is stored in the seat of memory so
313:31 it is stored in the seat of memory so what you want to do is through music you
313:33 what you want to do is through music you want to relax the corpus callosum relax
313:36 want to relax the corpus callosum relax the brain so that information can flow
313:37 the brain so that information can flow in through the left brain
313:39 in through the left brain and into the right a fourth key point is
313:42 and into the right a fourth key point is space
313:50 repetition space repetition is important now some people say why is it or how is
313:52 now some people say why is it or how is it that I can give a seminar like this
313:54 it that I can give a seminar like this all day without notes and I sometimes do
313:56 all day without notes and I sometimes do day after day after day of seminars
313:57 day after day after day of seminars without notes I must have a great memory
313:59 without notes I must have a great memory I don't have a great memory I just study
314:01 I don't have a great memory I just study all the time and I use space repetition
314:03 all the time and I use space repetition and I review it over and over again
314:05 and I review it over and over again there's another thing too by the way is
314:07 there's another thing too by the way is that the more you learn the more you
314:08 that the more you learn the more you learn when you start to study remember
314:11 learn when you start to study remember that it takes practice to learn how to
314:12 that it takes practice to learn how to learn it takes practice practice
314:16 learn it takes practice practice practice is that the more you practice
314:18 practice is that the more you practice learning how to learn the more likely it
314:20 learning how to learn the more likely it is that you'll learn the first few days
314:22 is that you'll learn the first few days when you're studying a new subject
314:23 when you're studying a new subject you'll find it takes tremendous effort
314:25 you'll find it takes tremendous effort now here's another important point and
314:27 now here's another important point and that is
314:28 that is variety variety of stimulation is
314:31 variety variety of stimulation is critical the number of different ways
314:34 critical the number of different ways that you stimulate your mind different
314:36 that you stimulate your mind different books different magazines plays
314:38 books different magazines plays different different exposures to
314:40 different different exposures to different conversations different
314:41 different conversations different subjects and so on if you bombard your
314:43 subjects and so on if you bombard your mind continuously with stimuli that
314:46 mind continuously with stimuli that challenges your mind you will find that
314:48 challenges your mind you will find that you'll develop the capacity to learn and
314:50 you'll develop the capacity to learn and remember more and number seven is
314:52 remember more and number seven is remember this it's called attention span
314:55 remember this it's called attention span is the time when you learn the most is
314:57 is the time when you learn the most is at the beginning of a period of study
315:00 at the beginning of a period of study and at the end of a period of study what
315:02 and at the end of a period of study what does this tell you it tells you that
315:04 does this tell you it tells you that instead of studying or reading for a
315:06 instead of studying or reading for a long period of time like this say two or
315:08 long period of time like this say two or two or 3 hours what you do is break it
315:10 two or 3 hours what you do is break it up and take several breaks so that you
315:13 up and take several breaks so that you have a series of breaks and you'll
315:14 have a series of breaks and you'll always remember what you learn at the
315:16 always remember what you learn at the beginning of the break at the beginning
315:18 beginning of the break at the beginning of the period at the end of the period
315:19 of the period at the end of the period the beginning and end so the more breaks
315:21 the beginning and end so the more breaks that you can take the more variety that
315:23 that you can take the more variety that you can put into your studying the
315:25 you can put into your studying the faster you'll learn the key to remember
315:27 faster you'll learn the key to remember this is that everything that you are or
315:29 this is that everything that you are or ever will become is going to be as a
315:31 ever will become is going to be as a result of the information you take into
315:33 result of the information you take into your mind the Practical usable
315:35 your mind the Practical usable information that you can take and use to
315:38 information that you can take and use to bring about something some kind of
315:39 bring about something some kind of improvement in the world around you if
315:41 improvement in the world around you if you want to earn more you have to learn
315:43 you want to earn more you have to learn more if you want to be happier you have
315:44 more if you want to be happier you have to learn more if you want to realize
315:46 to learn more if you want to realize your full potential as a human being you
315:47 your full potential as a human being you have to learn more which means read
315:50 have to learn more which means read study and learn how to learn and if
315:53 study and learn how to learn and if you'll do that you'll be amazed at how
315:55 you'll do that you'll be amazed at how much of your mental potential you can
315:56 much of your mental potential you can release
316:14 session 14 Progressive relaxation with music the work of Georgie lozanov in
316:17 music the work of Georgie lozanov in establishing The Sciences of suggest Loy
316:19 establishing The Sciences of suggest Loy and suggestopedia which is the
316:21 and suggestopedia which is the application of the power of suggestion
316:23 application of the power of suggestion to the process of learning also have
316:26 to the process of learning also have applications with regard to you and I in
316:28 applications with regard to you and I in terms of reprogramming our subconscious
316:30 terms of reprogramming our subconscious mind you see if we can learn a subject
316:32 mind you see if we can learn a subject like French or English if we can learn
316:34 like French or English if we can learn history or mathematics if we can learn
316:36 history or mathematics if we can learn something very very fast as a result of
316:38 something very very fast as a result of deep relax ation with music in a
316:40 deep relax ation with music in a systematic organized process can't we
316:44 systematic organized process can't we also learn new belief systems can't we
316:47 also learn new belief systems can't we also learn new ideas Concepts
316:49 also learn new ideas Concepts characteristics qualities can we develop
316:51 characteristics qualities can we develop confidence Courage the ability to earn
316:53 confidence Courage the ability to earn more money the ability to be better
316:55 more money the ability to be better parents better bosses and so on using
316:58 parents better bosses and so on using the same techniques yes we can now over
317:03 the same techniques yes we can now over the years and over the centuries over
317:04 the years and over the centuries over all the course of mankind great Mystics
317:07 all the course of mankind great Mystics great leaders great religious teachers
317:10 great leaders great religious teachers great philosophers and thinkers have
317:12 great philosophers and thinkers have found that by relaxing deeply even
317:16 found that by relaxing deeply even without music just relaxing deeply and
317:18 without music just relaxing deeply and meditating or dwelling on particular
317:21 meditating or dwelling on particular thoughts or ideas whether it's a quality
317:23 thoughts or ideas whether it's a quality or a mantra or something else deep
317:26 or a mantra or something else deep relaxation and meditation on a
317:28 relaxation and meditation on a particular thought enables us to
317:31 particular thought enables us to internalize the thought let me talk
317:33 internalize the thought let me talk about this for a second the key is deep
317:36 about this for a second the key is deep relaxation remember we talked about the
317:38 relaxation remember we talked about the law
317:39 law of relaxation that says the harder that
317:41 of relaxation that says the harder that you don't try the better it works in all
317:44 you don't try the better it works in all mental working effort defeats itself
317:47 mental working effort defeats itself therefore whenever you present new
317:48 therefore whenever you present new information to your mind in a state of
317:50 information to your mind in a state of deep relaxation it is accepted far more
317:54 deep relaxation it is accepted far more rapidly if you want to become a positive
317:56 rapidly if you want to become a positive outgoing enthusiastic wealthy
317:58 outgoing enthusiastic wealthy influential successful human being you
318:01 influential successful human being you must change your mental programming so
318:03 must change your mental programming so that your internal programming your
318:04 that your internal programming your beliefs your self-concept your essential
318:08 beliefs your self-concept your essential fundamental convictions are consistent
318:10 fundamental convictions are consistent with what you wish to experience in the
318:12 with what you wish to experience in the outside and deep relaxation is the key
318:15 outside and deep relaxation is the key that relaxation is the key to the Vault
318:18 that relaxation is the key to the Vault of riches that relaxation is what
318:21 of riches that relaxation is what unlocks your TAP potential and most of
318:24 unlocks your TAP potential and most of our modern times have been spent on
318:27 our modern times have been spent on finding ways to do things harder to
318:29 finding ways to do things harder to force things to drive things but we're
318:31 force things to drive things but we're finding more and more as we study the
318:33 finding more and more as we study the history of man and the Eastern religions
318:36 history of man and the Eastern religions and the research that's been done in
318:37 and the research that's been done in this field that deep relaxation is the
318:39 this field that deep relaxation is the key even Harvard University has done
318:41 key even Harvard University has done experiments on relaxation and found that
318:43 experiments on relaxation and found that even one process of deep relaxation
318:46 even one process of deep relaxation changes brain wave activity over that of
318:49 changes brain wave activity over that of people who don't now there's several
318:50 people who don't now there's several ways one is meditation well what is
318:53 ways one is meditation well what is meditation meditation is simply closing
318:56 meditation meditation is simply closing your eyes taking a deep breath dropping
318:58 your eyes taking a deep breath dropping into Alpha it's as simple as that as you
319:01 into Alpha it's as simple as that as you take a deep breath and close your eyes
319:02 take a deep breath and close your eyes you drop into Alpha and your brain wave
319:04 you drop into Alpha and your brain wave activity from here just goes here when
319:07 activity from here just goes here when you sit on a park bench and and daydream
319:09 you sit on a park bench and and daydream you're in a form of meditation with your
319:11 you're in a form of meditation with your eyes closed meditation is very very
319:14 eyes closed meditation is very very healthy restful very refreshing and many
319:17 healthy restful very refreshing and many people have gotten into what is called
319:19 people have gotten into what is called Transcendental Meditation which is
319:21 Transcendental Meditation which is really a systematization of the process
319:23 really a systematization of the process of meditation where you take a mantra
319:25 of meditation where you take a mantra and you sit down close your eyes relax
319:28 and you sit down close your eyes relax and you repeat the Mantra now what is a
319:30 and you repeat the Mantra now what is a mantra a mantra is merely a meaningless
319:32 mantra a mantra is merely a meaningless word uh Dr Herbert Benson at the uh
319:36 word uh Dr Herbert Benson at the uh Harvard University found that if you
319:37 Harvard University found that if you just repeat the word once
319:39 just repeat the word once over and over again that'll be good
319:41 over and over again that'll be good enough in terms of closing your eyes
319:44 enough in terms of closing your eyes repeating the word one each time you
319:46 repeating the word one each time you exhale you'll drop into a state of
319:48 exhale you'll drop into a state of meditation in a matter of a few seconds
319:50 meditation in a matter of a few seconds even if you've never done it before now
319:52 even if you've never done it before now meditation is very healthy what does it
319:53 meditation is very healthy what does it do it relaxes the whole body it relaxes
319:56 do it relaxes the whole body it relaxes the mind it integrates the personality
319:59 the mind it integrates the personality it causes you to feel more calm and more
320:01 it causes you to feel more calm and more assured it lowers your flash point in
320:04 assured it lowers your flash point in that it causes you to be more self
320:06 that it causes you to be more self assured and less likely to get angry to
320:08 assured and less likely to get angry to get
320:09 get uh it causes you to sleep better at
320:10 uh it causes you to sleep better at night causes you to digest better it
320:12 night causes you to digest better it causes you to achieve your goals better
320:13 causes you to achieve your goals better and so on so meditation or deep
320:15 and so on so meditation or deep relaxation is an essential part of you
320:17 relaxation is an essential part of you achieving your potential sometimes
320:19 achieving your potential sometimes people say I don't have the time to do
320:20 people say I don't have the time to do this whenever you don't have the time
320:22 this whenever you don't have the time that's the time when you have to do it
320:23 that's the time when you have to do it the most anything that takes you into a
320:25 the most anything that takes you into a state of deep relaxation brings you down
320:28 state of deep relaxation brings you down to the point where your mind can
320:31 to the point where your mind can function in the levels of Alpha and can
320:33 function in the levels of Alpha and can integrate your personality there's a
320:35 integrate your personality there's a whole science called the science of
320:37 whole science called the science of psychosynthesis
320:39 psychosynthesis that says that meditation on any
320:42 that says that meditation on any subject actually synthesizes and
320:44 subject actually synthesizes and integrates and brings together the Mind
320:46 integrates and brings together the Mind well what lozanov also found that if you
320:48 well what lozanov also found that if you combined relaxation with music and this
320:50 combined relaxation with music and this is the second part you can accelerate
320:53 is the second part you can accelerate the process that when you play gentle
320:55 the process that when you play gentle music when you are in a state of deep
320:57 music when you are in a state of deep relaxation you actually go deeper into
321:00 relaxation you actually go deeper into relaxation your mind relaxes even deeper
321:02 relaxation your mind relaxes even deeper and as a result you function better and
321:04 and as a result you function better and if you combinate if you combine
321:06 if you combinate if you combine relaxation plus music plus informational
321:10 relaxation plus music plus informational input or the input of words or ideas
321:14 input or the input of words or ideas that you can learn at an accelerated
321:16 that you can learn at an accelerated rate you can bring about rapid and
321:18 rate you can bring about rapid and permanent behavioral changes on the
321:20 permanent behavioral changes on the market today there's a a great number of
321:22 market today there's a a great number of subliminal tapes where they play Words
321:26 subliminal tapes where they play Words hidden beneath the sounds of music or
321:28 hidden beneath the sounds of music or ocean waves or something like that now
321:30 ocean waves or something like that now there's a tremendous amount of research
321:31 there's a tremendous amount of research that shows that subliminal tapes work
321:33 that shows that subliminal tapes work many of the subliminal tapes that are
321:35 many of the subliminal tapes that are sold are not based on that research
321:37 sold are not based on that research they're based on on other principles and
321:39 they're based on on other principles and I suggest you look at it very carefully
321:41 I suggest you look at it very carefully before you buy them because some of them
321:43 before you buy them because some of them are are completely useless overpriced
321:45 are are completely useless overpriced and useless some of them are are
321:47 and useless some of them are are excellent but Music Plus informational
321:49 excellent but Music Plus informational input causes the conscious mind which is
321:51 input causes the conscious mind which is the mind that says wait a second I'm not
321:53 the mind that says wait a second I'm not taking in that information causes the
321:55 taking in that information causes the conscious mind the guard at the door of
321:56 conscious mind the guard at the door of the subconscious it causes it to relax
321:59 the subconscious it causes it to relax and fall asleep and when the subc
322:01 and fall asleep and when the subc conscious mind falls asleep the words
322:03 conscious mind falls asleep the words with the music combined flow straight
322:05 with the music combined flow straight into the subconscious mind change and
322:07 into the subconscious mind change and revise all previous programming and
322:10 revise all previous programming and bring about permanent behavioral change
322:12 bring about permanent behavioral change we call this the process of taped
322:14 we call this the process of taped affirmation which I'm going to explain
322:16 affirmation which I'm going to explain in a second but let me give you just a
322:18 in a second but let me give you just a brief explanation with regard to musac
322:20 brief explanation with regard to musac there are many systems now that have
322:22 there are many systems now that have been developed musac systems which play
322:24 been developed musac systems which play sort of neutral music as background
322:27 sort of neutral music as background music in offices warehouses and stores
322:29 music in offices warehouses and stores in a Montreal experiment in a Dominion
322:32 in a Montreal experiment in a Dominion uh stores experiment some years ago they
322:35 uh stores experiment some years ago they took and they took and they put un under
322:37 took and they took and they put un under the mus system a series of messages that
322:40 the mus system a series of messages that said do not shoplift shoplifting is bad
322:43 said do not shoplift shoplifting is bad if you shoplift you'll be caught and
322:45 if you shoplift you'll be caught and you'll be prosecuted if you shoplift
322:47 you'll be prosecuted if you shoplift when you're prosecuted you get a
322:49 when you're prosecuted you get a criminal record so shoplifting is
322:50 criminal record so shoplifting is something that you shouldn't do and they
322:51 something that you shouldn't do and they repeated these messages over and over
322:53 repeated these messages over and over again but they were inaudible to the
322:55 again but they were inaudible to the human ear the only thing that Shoppers
322:57 human ear the only thing that Shoppers could hear was music now this was a
322:59 could hear was music now this was a store that was in an area where there
323:01 store that was in an area where there was a lot of shoplifting they found that
323:04 was a lot of shoplifting they found that they played this for a period of 2
323:07 they played this for a period of 2 months for two months they played this
323:10 months for two months they played this message under the musac system and in
323:12 message under the musac system and in two months the level of shoplifting
323:14 two months the level of shoplifting dropped 50% in that
323:16 dropped 50% in that store they left it on for two months and
323:20 store they left it on for two months and it stayed at that level and then they
323:22 it stayed at that level and then they put back the regular music over the
323:25 put back the regular music over the course of the next two
323:27 course of the next two months the level of shoplifting went
323:30 months the level of shoplifting went right back up to normal they now using
323:33 right back up to normal they now using this same process by the way where they
323:35 this same process by the way where they will put musac their sales messages for
323:37 will put musac their sales messages for instance the sales organizer ation they
323:39 instance the sales organizer ation they will put a whole series of messages
323:40 will put a whole series of messages behind the mus ACC they'll tell
323:41 behind the mus ACC they'll tell everybody that they're there because
323:43 everybody that they're there because they'll say you love to sell you're a
323:45 they'll say you love to sell you're a great salesperson you love this product
323:47 great salesperson you love this product you eagerly make calls you are a good
323:49 you eagerly make calls you are a good closer you're a good prospector you
323:50 closer you're a good prospector you manage your time well a whole series of
323:52 manage your time well a whole series of messages like that which will be played
323:54 messages like that which will be played behind the musac system and they will
323:57 behind the musac system and they will find that sales will go up 10 20 30 40
323:59 find that sales will go up 10 20 30 40 50% in some Warehouse operations they
324:02 50% in some Warehouse operations they have systems where they'll have a musac
324:05 have systems where they'll have a musac system that says do not steal from your
324:07 system that says do not steal from your employer do not pill for from the
324:08 employer do not pill for from the warehouse and so on they'll find that
324:10 warehouse and so on they'll find that theft and pilage will drop 20 30 40% in
324:12 theft and pilage will drop 20 30 40% in a matter of a very short period of time
324:14 a matter of a very short period of time now this brings us to what we call taped
324:16 now this brings us to what we call taped airation which is Progressive relaxation
324:19 airation which is Progressive relaxation with music taped airation is absolutely
324:22 with music taped airation is absolutely wonderful taped affirmation is a way of
324:24 wonderful taped affirmation is a way of putting your goals onto a tape with
324:27 putting your goals onto a tape with music and playing them over and over to
324:30 music and playing them over and over to yourself in a relaxed state so that they
324:32 yourself in a relaxed state so that they bypass the conscious mind drop into the
324:33 bypass the conscious mind drop into the subconscious and begin to come true in
324:36 subconscious and begin to come true in your reality I began using taped a
324:38 your reality I began using taped a several years ago I'm I have now
324:41 several years ago I'm I have now thousands of graduates who use taped
324:42 thousands of graduates who use taped affirmation I'll just tell you this is
324:44 affirmation I'll just tell you this is that every single goal I have ever put
324:46 that every single goal I have ever put on a musical tape and played to myself
324:48 on a musical tape and played to myself over and over again has materialized in
324:50 over and over again has materialized in my reality every single one of them has
324:52 my reality every single one of them has come true and some of them in a
324:53 come true and some of them in a surprisingly short period of time this
324:55 surprisingly short period of time this is one of the most astonishing
324:57 is one of the most astonishing discoveries like taped learning is one
324:59 discoveries like taped learning is one of the most astonishing discoveries in
325:00 of the most astonishing discoveries in education taped affirmation is one of
325:02 education taped affirmation is one of the most astonishing discoveries in the
325:05 the most astonishing discoveries in the whole process of goal setting and goal
325:07 whole process of goal setting and goal achieving you can can change your
325:08 achieving you can can change your personality achieve goals increase your
325:11 personality achieve goals increase your income lose weight quit smoking you can
325:13 income lose weight quit smoking you can do remarkable things with your life and
325:15 do remarkable things with your life and you can do it rapidly and permanently
325:17 you can do it rapidly and permanently using this method now here's some of the
325:19 using this method now here's some of the keys to taped affirmation that you
325:21 keys to taped affirmation that you should understand number one is a form
325:23 should understand number one is a form of progressive relaxation with music
325:25 of progressive relaxation with music Progressive relaxation is a method of
325:28 Progressive relaxation is a method of going through the body with words and
325:30 going through the body with words and relaxing each muscle group so when you
325:33 relaxing each muscle group so when you play the tape you'll hear a voice that
325:34 play the tape you'll hear a voice that will count you down and be more and more
325:36 will count you down and be more and more relaxed and each part of your body
325:38 relaxed and each part of your body relaxes deeper and deeper and deeper and
325:41 relaxes deeper and deeper and deeper and you get more and more and more deeply
325:45 you get more and more and more deeply relaxed you'll find that all the tension
325:47 relaxed you'll find that all the tension is Led out of your whole body as your
325:49 is Led out of your whole body as your body completely relaxes you'll find your
325:51 body completely relaxes you'll find your conscious mind relaxes and you drop into
325:53 conscious mind relaxes and you drop into Alpha now a second is that this is a
325:55 Alpha now a second is that this is a form of what is called heterogenic
325:57 form of what is called heterogenic conditioning now heterogenic
325:59 conditioning now heterogenic conditioning is means hetero means other
326:02 conditioning is means hetero means other and genic means mind so in this we use
326:05 and genic means mind so in this we use the word you it's a conditioning process
326:07 the word you it's a conditioning process so that when you listen to the tape it
326:09 so that when you listen to the tape it always says you you like yourself very
326:13 always says you you like yourself very much you really like yourself or you
326:15 much you really like yourself or you accept complete responsibility for your
326:18 accept complete responsibility for your life it uses affirmations that are very
326:21 life it uses affirmations that are very simple and clear positive present tense
326:24 simple and clear positive present tense but they in the U case why it's because
326:27 but they in the U case why it's because whenever we listen to another voice even
326:29 whenever we listen to another voice even if you make your own tape with your own
326:30 if you make your own tape with your own voice you always use youu whenever we
326:33 voice you always use youu whenever we take in information with from another
326:34 take in information with from another voice we are accustomed from infancy to
326:37 voice we are accustomed from infancy to our parents or someone else saying you
326:39 our parents or someone else saying you now there are some people who say that
326:41 now there are some people who say that you're supposed to to put on the tape
326:43 you're supposed to to put on the tape the words I earn or I weigh or I like
326:47 the words I earn or I weigh or I like myself but whenever we listen to
326:48 myself but whenever we listen to somebody else talking about thems it
326:50 somebody else talking about thems it makes no impression on our subconscious
326:53 makes no impression on our subconscious so when you make a tape that you listen
326:54 so when you make a tape that you listen to It's always you taking the message in
326:58 to It's always you taking the message in when you speak to yourself it's always I
327:01 when you speak to yourself it's always I I am I can I do a third point is that
327:05 I am I can I do a third point is that this is
327:06 this is healthy this is
327:13 relaxing and this is refreshing you will find that if you play this tape which is
327:15 find that if you play this tape which is about 20 minutes and we're going to give
327:16 about 20 minutes and we're going to give you this tape in a little while uh if
327:18 you this tape in a little while uh if you play this tape when you come home in
327:21 you play this tape when you come home in the evening if you play it in the middle
327:22 the evening if you play it in the middle of the day it's better than a nap it's
327:24 of the day it's better than a nap it's better than taking a sleep it's better
327:26 better than taking a sleep it's better than a steam bath because it will relax
327:28 than a steam bath because it will relax you it will refresh you and you'll feel
327:30 you it will refresh you and you'll feel healthy and even if it does nothing else
327:33 healthy and even if it does nothing else it makes you feel great our third or
327:35 it makes you feel great our third or fourth requirement is that you do it
327:37 fourth requirement is that you do it twice daily I Optimum is to do it twice
327:40 twice daily I Optimum is to do it twice daily morning and
327:42 daily morning and evening and do it on an empty stomach
327:45 evening and do it on an empty stomach the very best time to play this tape is
327:47 the very best time to play this tape is in the morning before you have breakfast
327:49 in the morning before you have breakfast and the evening after you come home but
327:51 and the evening after you come home but before you have dinner if you can only
327:52 before you have dinner if you can only do it once a day do it in the evening
327:54 do it once a day do it in the evening it's better than a drink it's better
327:56 it's better than a drink it's better than a Valium it's better than a Librium
327:58 than a Valium it's better than a Librium it will refresh you pick you up smooth
328:00 it will refresh you pick you up smooth your personality make you feel just
328:02 your personality make you feel just great about yourself so do it twice
328:04 great about yourself so do it twice daily number five is that we use
328:07 daily number five is that we use relaxing gentle music now you can use
328:10 relaxing gentle music now you can use almost any music you like the slower the
328:12 almost any music you like the slower the more relaxing the more classical music
328:15 more relaxing the more classical music that you use you can use Baroque you can
328:17 that you use you can use Baroque you can use the sound of the ocean you can use
328:20 use the sound of the ocean you can use gentle classical music from any piece
328:22 gentle classical music from any piece that you like uh but relaxing gentle
328:24 that you like uh but relaxing gentle music in the background is what causes
328:27 music in the background is what causes the mind to relax and relax and relax
328:30 the mind to relax and relax and relax you can use flute music you can use
328:32 you can use flute music you can use guitar you can use violin you can use
328:34 guitar you can use violin you can use anything that is relaxing to cause you
328:36 anything that is relaxing to cause you to calm and settle down but not music or
328:39 to calm and settle down but not music or anything that has words to it now
328:41 anything that has words to it now another characteristic of this is that
328:45 another characteristic of this is that uh the position that you
328:47 uh the position that you use we call this assuming the position
328:50 use we call this assuming the position is to sit
328:53 is to sit erect
328:55 erect relaxed
328:56 relaxed relaxed eyes
328:58 relaxed eyes closed we call this assuming the
329:01 closed we call this assuming the position and basically the position is
329:04 position and basically the position is you sit in a chair you sit completely
329:06 you sit in a chair you sit completely erect you put your hands on your lap not
329:09 erect you put your hands on your lap not touching close your eyes take a deep
329:12 touching close your eyes take a deep breath and just listen to the tape the
329:15 breath and just listen to the tape the tape is complete all you have to do is
329:17 tape is complete all you have to do is put it on and it will count you down
329:19 put it on and it will count you down into a state of deep relaxation very
329:21 into a state of deep relaxation very much like this into a state of deep
329:23 much like this into a state of deep relaxation while you're in that state of
329:25 relaxation while you're in that state of relaxation it will play a series of 10
329:27 relaxation it will play a series of 10 affirmations five each and at the end of
329:30 affirmations five each and at the end of the 10 affirmations it will then count
329:32 the 10 affirmations it will then count you back out to a state of full
329:34 you back out to a state of full awareness the entire process takes 21
329:37 awareness the entire process takes 21 minutes max
329:38 minutes max maximum very simple it's completely
329:41 maximum very simple it's completely harmless you don't have to worry about
329:42 harmless you don't have to worry about it now it's very important with regard
329:44 it now it's very important with regard to this position that you be sitting
329:46 to this position that you be sitting erect some people say well can I do it
329:47 erect some people say well can I do it before I go to sleep but what happens if
329:49 before I go to sleep but what happens if you try to do it in bed or laying down
329:52 you try to do it in bed or laying down is one of two things either you'll fall
329:53 is one of two things either you'll fall asleep and when you fall asleep the
329:55 asleep and when you fall asleep the message stops going into the
329:56 message stops going into the subconscious mind or number two is
329:59 subconscious mind or number two is you'll become so relaxed and refreshed
330:01 you'll become so relaxed and refreshed that you'll wake up and you'll be unable
330:03 that you'll wake up and you'll be unable to sleep the best time to do this is not
330:05 to sleep the best time to do this is not before you go to bed unless of course
330:06 before you go to bed unless of course you're having difficulty sleeping we've
330:08 you're having difficulty sleeping we've had many people who've been going
330:09 had many people who've been going through stressful periods in their life
330:11 through stressful periods in their life who have found that by playing this
330:13 who have found that by playing this sometimes five six seven times a day
330:16 sometimes five six seven times a day they've been able to completely calm
330:17 they've been able to completely calm down get over their insomnia and sleep
330:20 down get over their insomnia and sleep deeply for the first time so number
330:22 deeply for the first time so number seven is do it with no interruptions go
330:25 seven is do it with no interruptions go somewhere where you can play it with
330:27 somewhere where you can play it with where there's no
330:28 where there's no interruptions if you're near near a
330:30 interruptions if you're near near a telephone disconnect the phone or go
330:31 telephone disconnect the phone or go away from the phone there's nothing
330:33 away from the phone there's nothing worse than playing this tape and having
330:35 worse than playing this tape and having a telephone go off in the middle or
330:37 a telephone go off in the middle or having somebody walk skin on you
330:39 having somebody walk skin on you sometimes people say well can I play it
330:40 sometimes people say well can I play it in my car I say yes you can play it in
330:42 in my car I say yes you can play it in your car as long as you drive your car
330:44 your car as long as you drive your car with your eyes closed people say well
330:46 with your eyes closed people say well can I do it when I'm jogging yes if you
330:48 can I do it when I'm jogging yes if you jog with your eyes closed because if
330:50 jog with your eyes closed because if your eyes are open this is critical if
330:52 your eyes are open this is critical if your eyes are open your your eyes are
330:55 your eyes are open your your eyes are bombarded with so much stimulation that
330:57 bombarded with so much stimulation that you do not drop into Alpha so it's
331:00 you do not drop into Alpha so it's important for to remember that remember
331:02 important for to remember that remember no interruptions do it twice a day do it
331:04 no interruptions do it twice a day do it on an empty stomach don't do it after
331:06 on an empty stomach don't do it after drinking anything don't do it after
331:08 drinking anything don't do it after eating anything and uh don't do it after
331:10 eating anything and uh don't do it after smoking anything stronger than a
331:13 smoking anything stronger than a cigarette now what will happen as a
331:15 cigarette now what will happen as a result of this this process takes just
331:17 result of this this process takes just two things it takes discipline which is
331:20 two things it takes discipline which is what most people lack which is what most
331:22 what most people lack which is what most why most people fail and it takes
331:24 why most people fail and it takes repetition it's very
331:26 repetition it's very simple
331:33 repetition what will happen well the first time that you use this you will
331:35 first time that you use this you will notice a deep relaxation as a matter of
331:36 notice a deep relaxation as a matter of fact many people have said they've relax
331:38 fact many people have said they've relax more deeply with this tape than with any
331:40 more deeply with this tape than with any other process they ever tried and these
331:41 other process they ever tried and these are people who've tried meditation and
331:43 are people who've tried meditation and tried a lot of other things second of
331:45 tried a lot of other things second of all you will find that in a very short
331:47 all you will find that in a very short period of time about two or 3 days you
331:48 period of time about two or 3 days you will find yourself feeling far calmer
331:51 will find yourself feeling far calmer you feel far more relaxed you feel sort
331:53 you feel far more relaxed you feel sort of good about yourself and you find that
331:55 of good about yourself and you find that your flash point your levels of tension
331:57 your flash point your levels of tension have dropped within a week the people
332:00 have dropped within a week the people around you will know the difference
332:01 around you will know the difference they'll say you're doing something
332:02 they'll say you're doing something different within a month people who only
332:05 different within a month people who only know you marginally will notice that
332:07 know you marginally will notice that there is a difference in your
332:08 there is a difference in your personality a good friend of mine who's
332:10 personality a good friend of mine who's a psychologist pointed out to me that
332:12 a psychologist pointed out to me that the way that he first noticed the effect
332:14 the way that he first noticed the effect of this tape was that he used to get
332:16 of this tape was that he used to get very very tense in traffic he'd be
332:18 very very tense in traffic he'd be driving along in traffic and somebody
332:19 driving along in traffic and somebody would cut him off or he'd be uh stuck in
332:22 would cut him off or he'd be uh stuck in traffic he' get very very angry what he
332:23 traffic he' get very very angry what he would do is he found when he played the
332:26 would do is he found when he played the tape is he didn't get tense anymore he
332:28 tape is he didn't get tense anymore he would just relax and uh found that he
332:32 would just relax and uh found that he might get angry but he' be only angry
332:33 might get angry but he' be only angry for a few seconds then he'd be calm
332:35 for a few seconds then he'd be calm again so it's very very healthy by the
332:36 again so it's very very healthy by the way you can cannot play this tape and be
332:39 way you can cannot play this tape and be a stressful type of person now how many
332:41 a stressful type of person now how many goals can you work on well you make your
332:42 goals can you work on well you make your own tape and you can work on 10 to 15
332:44 own tape and you can work on 10 to 15 goals on your tape when you write out
332:47 goals on your tape when you write out the goals what you do is you repeat at
332:51 the goals what you do is you repeat at the beginning of each goal which is a
332:52 the beginning of each goal which is a positive present tense affirmation you
332:54 positive present tense affirmation you repeat yes I agree or yes that's
333:01 repeat yes I agree or yes that's true what this does is it reinforces the
333:04 true what this does is it reinforces the affirmation and drives it deeper into
333:05 affirmation and drives it deeper into the subconscious for instance you're
333:07 the subconscious for instance you're listening to tape You Close Your Eyes
333:08 listening to tape You Close Your Eyes the tape says you like yourself
333:10 the tape says you like yourself unconditionally you really like yourself
333:12 unconditionally you really like yourself and you say yes that's true yes I agree
333:15 and you say yes that's true yes I agree So when you say that to your mind you're
333:16 So when you say that to your mind you're acknowledging to your subconscious that
333:19 acknowledging to your subconscious that this is a true statement remember in
333:21 this is a true statement remember in affirmations the most powerful effect on
333:23 affirmations the most powerful effect on your subconscious is what you say to
333:25 your subconscious is what you say to yourself and believe if a person were to
333:28 yourself and believe if a person were to say say to you you sure look good today
333:30 say say to you you sure look good today and you say yes I do notice how much
333:32 and you say yes I do notice how much better you would feel about that than if
333:34 better you would feel about that than if you say ah no I don't I I look a little
333:36 you say ah no I don't I I look a little bit ragged so agree and accept it repeat
333:39 bit ragged so agree and accept it repeat it the uh number
333:42 it the uh number 11 important point on this is to do it
333:45 11 important point on this is to do it over and over again until it becomes a
333:47 over and over again until it becomes a habit put your own
333:49 habit put your own affirmations take your own affirmations
333:53 affirmations take your own affirmations with regard to your goals take your for
333:55 with regard to your goals take your for instance if you want to lose weight put
333:57 instance if you want to lose weight put your ideal weight on there if you want
333:58 your ideal weight on there if you want to increase your income put your ideal
334:00 to increase your income put your ideal income on there if you want to change
334:02 income on there if you want to change your temperament put your temper if you
334:04 your temperament put your temper if you want to be a better time manager put
334:06 want to be a better time manager put better time management if you want to be
334:07 better time management if you want to be more creative then put creativity on
334:09 more creative then put creativity on there do you want to have more energy
334:12 there do you want to have more energy then put energy on there do you want to
334:13 then put energy on there do you want to sleep at night then put sleep at night
334:15 sleep at night then put sleep at night on there anything that you desire in
334:18 on there anything that you desire in life you can you can accomplish using
334:21 life you can you can accomplish using this method and using the instructions
334:22 this method and using the instructions that we've given you if you want to make
334:24 that we've given you if you want to make your own tape it's very simple pick a
334:26 your own tape it's very simple pick a piece of relaxing music play it on your
334:28 piece of relaxing music play it on your record player put a cassette on a
334:31 record player put a cassette on a separate cassette rep recorder and with
334:34 separate cassette rep recorder and with the music in the background read the
334:36 the music in the background read the script onto the Cass set program and
334:39 script onto the Cass set program and then read your own affirmations and
334:40 then read your own affirmations and repeat each of them five times if you'll
334:43 repeat each of them five times if you'll do that and then read the whole script
334:44 do that and then read the whole script then you have your own tape and as you
334:46 then you have your own tape and as you achieve your goals what you can do is
334:47 achieve your goals what you can do is make a new tape and make a du tape the
334:49 make a new tape and make a du tape the tape that we Supply you with this
334:51 tape that we Supply you with this program is good enough to last you for a
334:52 program is good enough to last you for a long time because it's been developed
334:54 long time because it's been developed over years of experimenting with other
334:56 over years of experimenting with other people and we find that the 10 goals on
334:58 people and we find that the 10 goals on this tape are the 10 most important if
335:01 this tape are the 10 most important if you use this method of taped affirmation
335:03 you use this method of taped affirmation in a very short period of time you'll
335:05 in a very short period of time you'll notice changes in your life changes in
335:07 notice changes in your life changes in your results changes in your health
335:09 your results changes in your health changes in your temperament changes in
335:11 changes in your temperament changes in your personality and I repeat what I
335:13 your personality and I repeat what I said before I have never set a goal on
335:16 said before I have never set a goal on taped affirmation that I have not
335:18 taped affirmation that I have not accomplished exactly at the right time
335:20 accomplished exactly at the right time exactly in the right way and it will
335:22 exactly in the right way and it will work for you as it has worked for me
335:25 work for you as it has worked for me good luck
335:52 present [Music]
336:01 [Music] Phoenix session 15 five keys to goal
336:04 Phoenix session 15 five keys to goal setting we started this seminar asking
336:07 setting we started this seminar asking the question why is it that some people
336:09 the question why is it that some people are more successful than others and a
336:11 are more successful than others and a friend of mine who's been working in
336:12 friend of mine who's been working in this industry for many years told me a
336:13 this industry for many years told me a story that I think you'll enjoy and
336:15 story that I think you'll enjoy and which I found very relevant he said that
336:17 which I found very relevant he said that he invited as the Deacon of his church
336:20 he invited as the Deacon of his church he invited a Jewish gentleman to come to
336:22 he invited a Jewish gentleman to come to his church Christian church and speak to
336:25 his church Christian church and speak to the congregation on comparative religion
336:27 the congregation on comparative religion how the Jewish religion compared with
336:29 how the Jewish religion compared with the Christian religion well the Jewish
336:30 the Christian religion well the Jewish gentleman came after several weeks and
336:32 gentleman came after several weeks and he stood up and he began his talk and he
336:34 he stood up and he began his talk and he said ladies and gentlemen he said I've
336:35 said ladies and gentlemen he said I've examined your books and I've examined
336:37 examined your books and I've examined our books he said I've examined your
336:38 our books he said I've examined your basic teachings and I've examined our
336:40 basic teachings and I've examined our basic teachings and I've come to this
336:42 basic teachings and I've come to this conclusion he
336:44 conclusion he said the Bible and the talmud and all of
336:47 said the Bible and the talmud and all of our books say that the two great rules
336:50 our books say that the two great rules of Life are to love God and to love your
336:53 of Life are to love God and to love your neighbor as yourself he said ladies and
336:55 neighbor as yourself he said ladies and gentlemen all else is
336:58 gentlemen all else is commentary all else is commentary he
337:01 commentary all else is commentary he said we've been working in the field of
337:03 said we've been working in the field of success for 25 years and we sat down
337:04 success for 25 years and we sat down around the table not too long ago and we
337:06 around the table not too long ago and we said what is SU success what are the
337:08 said what is SU success what are the determinants of success and the
337:10 determinants of success and the unanimous conclusion was simply this
337:13 unanimous conclusion was simply this ladies and gentlemen success is goals
337:16 ladies and gentlemen success is goals and all else is commentary success is
337:19 and all else is commentary success is goals and all else is commentary and I
337:23 goals and all else is commentary and I don't think there's anything that you'll
337:25 don't think there's anything that you'll ever learn that is truer than that
337:26 ever learn that is truer than that during the course of this seminar we've
337:28 during the course of this seminar we've talked about many different laws The Law
337:29 talked about many different laws The Law of Attraction law of Correspondence law
337:31 of Attraction law of Correspondence law of belief expectation and so on but you
337:33 of belief expectation and so on but you find that the only way to utilize all of
337:36 find that the only way to utilize all of those laws or the easiest way to utilize
337:38 those laws or the easiest way to utilize all of those laws is just to Simply set
337:40 all of those laws is just to Simply set a goal when you set a goal what do you
337:42 a goal when you set a goal what do you believe in a goal what do you expect to
337:44 believe in a goal what do you expect to happen a goal what do you attract into
337:46 happen a goal what do you attract into your life people and circumstances in
337:48 your life people and circumstances in harmony with your goal uh What uh does
337:50 harmony with your goal uh What uh does the law of Correspondence affect your
337:52 the law of Correspondence affect your outer world will harmonize with your
337:54 outer world will harmonize with your inner world with your goal what do you
337:56 inner world with your goal what do you concentrate on your goal what do you
337:57 concentrate on your goal what do you plan in your subconscious your goal what
337:58 plan in your subconscious your goal what do you use for the law of substitution a
338:01 do you use for the law of substitution a goal a goal makes it possible for you to
338:05 goal a goal makes it possible for you to bring to bear all the laws of the
338:07 bring to bear all the laws of the Universe to help to make you successful
338:10 Universe to help to make you successful without even thinking about any of the
338:12 without even thinking about any of the laws that's why in every single study of
338:14 laws that's why in every single study of successful men and women you find
338:16 successful men and women you find intense goal orientation and yet even
338:19 intense goal orientation and yet even knowing that even knowing that success
338:21 knowing that even knowing that success is dependent upon goals crucial uh
338:24 is dependent upon goals crucial uh crucially dependent upon goals we find
338:26 crucially dependent upon goals we find that less than 5% of the population have
338:29 that less than 5% of the population have goals at all I once wrote a paper or
338:33 goals at all I once wrote a paper or article for a newspaper and the quote
338:36 article for a newspaper and the quote they pulled out of the newspaper was
338:38 they pulled out of the newspaper was those who do not have goals are
338:39 those who do not have goals are condemned forever to work for those who
338:41 condemned forever to work for those who do if you don't have goals for your life
338:43 do if you don't have goals for your life you are condemned forever to help other
338:45 you are condemned forever to help other people achieve their goals in fact in
338:47 people achieve their goals in fact in 1953 one of the famous studies in 1953
338:51 1953 one of the famous studies in 1953 at y University they did a survey
338:53 at y University they did a survey amongst the graduating class of seniors
338:55 amongst the graduating class of seniors and they asked them amongst other
338:57 and they asked them amongst other questions do you have goals and have you
338:59 questions do you have goals and have you made plans for their accomplishment they
339:00 made plans for their accomplishment they found that only 3% of the graduating
339:02 found that only 3% of the graduating seniors of one of the most favored
339:03 seniors of one of the most favored classes that ever graduated from an i
339:05 classes that ever graduated from an i League college in America had goals well
339:08 League college in America had goals well they went back in 1973 20 years later
339:11 they went back in 1973 20 years later and they asked them amongst other things
339:13 and they asked them amongst other things how much money are you worth today
339:15 how much money are you worth today versus how much you were worth in 197
339:17 versus how much you were worth in 197 1953 and they found that the 3% who had
339:20 1953 and they found that the 3% who had set goals at the beginning of their
339:22 set goals at the beginning of their careers were worth more in financial
339:25 careers were worth more in financial terms than the entire other 97% put
339:28 terms than the entire other 97% put together now this is a phenomenal
339:31 together now this is a phenomenal accomplishment but it is not unusual as
339:33 accomplishment but it is not unusual as a matter of fact every statistic that
339:35 a matter of fact every statistic that I've looked at in studying goal setting
339:36 I've looked at in studying goal setting and I have been a ftic on the subject of
339:38 and I have been a ftic on the subject of goal setting for years shows that only
339:40 goal setting for years shows that only 3% one in 30 has clear specific written
339:44 3% one in 30 has clear specific written goals with action plans for their
339:46 goals with action plans for their accomplishment now let me say this is
339:49 accomplishment now let me say this is that the ability to set goals and the
339:51 that the ability to set goals and the ability to make action plans for their
339:53 ability to make action plans for their accomplishment is the master skill of
339:55 accomplishment is the master skill of success it is the master skill it is the
339:59 success it is the master skill it is the most important single skill that you can
340:01 most important single skill that you can ever learn and through the course of
340:02 ever learn and through the course of what we're going to talk about now if
340:04 what we're going to talk about now if you can learn to set and accomplish one
340:06 you can learn to set and accomplish one major goal it can be the most important
340:08 major goal it can be the most important thing that you ever discover more
340:09 thing that you ever discover more important than math more important than
340:11 important than math more important than science more important than computer
340:13 science more important than computer technology more important than sales
340:14 technology more important than sales skills is the ability to set goals
340:17 skills is the ability to set goals because once you have set goals you
340:19 because once you have set goals you trigger into Force what is called the
340:21 trigger into Force what is called the cybernetic goal seeking mechanism of the
340:25 cybernetic goal seeking mechanism of the brain the cybernetic goal-seeking
340:27 brain the cybernetic goal-seeking mechanism is this mechanism that once
340:28 mechanism is this mechanism that once you've programmed the brain or impressed
340:31 you've programmed the brain or impressed the brain into your subconscious you
340:33 the brain into your subconscious you tend to move automatically and uniring
340:36 tend to move automatically and uniring toward the goal and the goal tends to
340:38 toward the goal and the goal tends to move toward you it's almost as if you
340:40 move toward you it's almost as if you set into motion a whole series of cosmic
340:42 set into motion a whole series of cosmic forces that cause you to move uniring
340:45 forces that cause you to move uniring even though you do not know where the
340:46 even though you do not know where the goal is and we'll talk about that uh and
340:48 goal is and we'll talk about that uh and why that works a little bit later it is
340:50 why that works a little bit later it is to say that within you is a mechanism
340:53 to say that within you is a mechanism that will lead you unerringly toward
340:55 that will lead you unerringly toward what you want to accomplish as long as
340:57 what you want to accomplish as long as you know what it is the great HL hunt
340:59 you know what it is the great HL hunt the oil billionaire was asked his
341:01 the oil billionaire was asked his secrets of success on a television
341:03 secrets of success on a television program some years ago and he said
341:05 program some years ago and he said there's only two things you need to know
341:06 there's only two things you need to know to be successful he said number one he
341:08 to be successful he said number one he said decide exactly what you want he
341:10 said decide exactly what you want he said number two determine the price
341:12 said number two determine the price you're going to have to pay and then
341:14 you're going to have to pay and then resolve to pay that price but the B
341:16 resolve to pay that price but the B problem is that most people don't know
341:18 problem is that most people don't know what they want in our civilization in
341:21 what they want in our civilization in our society you can have anything that
341:23 our society you can have anything that you want in life but 95% of the
341:26 you want in life but 95% of the population has either a vague idea of
341:28 population has either a vague idea of what they want or no idea at all and by
341:32 what they want or no idea at all and by the time this session is over I'm sure
341:33 the time this session is over I'm sure that will be changed a little bit for
341:35 that will be changed a little bit for you setting goals is the master skill of
341:37 you setting goals is the master skill of success I think that goal setting should
341:39 success I think that goal setting should be taught in kindergarten and first
341:41 be taught in kindergarten and first grade and second grade right up to every
341:43 grade and second grade right up to every single year of school there should be
341:45 single year of school there should be some module and some process of teaching
341:49 some module and some process of teaching young people to set goals it would
341:50 young people to set goals it would guarantee greater success faster and
341:53 guarantee greater success faster and easier in life than any other single
341:55 easier in life than any other single skill that a person can develop no
341:56 skill that a person can develop no matter how old you are no matter where
341:58 matter how old you are no matter where you are today the sooner you learn to
342:00 you are today the sooner you learn to develop the master skill of success by
342:02 develop the master skill of success by practice and repetition over and over
342:04 practice and repetition over and over again until you become completely
342:07 again until you become completely focused as a goal achieving human being
342:09 focused as a goal achieving human being the sooner you learn it the faster you
342:11 the sooner you learn it the faster you will accomplish great things in your
342:12 will accomplish great things in your life now an interesting point each of us
342:14 life now an interesting point each of us has what we call a failure mechanism in
342:17 has what we call a failure mechanism in life the failure
342:20 life the failure mechanism goes off automatically the
342:23 mechanism goes off automatically the vast majority of people fail to live up
342:25 vast majority of people fail to live up to their potential they fail to become
342:26 to their potential they fail to become everything they're capable of becoming
342:28 everything they're capable of becoming over 80% and the failure mechanism is
342:31 over 80% and the failure mechanism is what we call the comfort zone it's the
342:34 what we call the comfort zone it's the tendency to fall into a comfort zone to
342:36 tendency to fall into a comfort zone to do what is easy not to to avoid making
342:39 do what is easy not to to avoid making the efforts necessary to succeed now
342:41 the efforts necessary to succeed now this failure mechanism goes off
342:42 this failure mechanism goes off automatically from the time we are
342:44 automatically from the time we are infants we talked earlier about the
342:45 infants we talked earlier about the Pleasure Principle we always move toward
342:47 Pleasure Principle we always move toward what is pleasurable what is easy what is
342:50 what is pleasurable what is easy what is fun what is enjoyable and we move away
342:52 fun what is enjoyable and we move away from what is uncomfortable what is
342:54 from what is uncomfortable what is difficult what requires discipline what
342:56 difficult what requires discipline what requires effort and so on however the
342:58 requires effort and so on however the only way to override this failure
343:00 only way to override this failure mechanism is by activating your success
343:04 mechanism is by activating your success mechanism and your success mechanism is
343:07 mechanism and your success mechanism is triggered by a goal whenever you write
343:10 triggered by a goal whenever you write out a goal you override the failure
343:13 out a goal you override the failure mechanism whenever you think about a
343:14 mechanism whenever you think about a goal you override the failure mechanism
343:16 goal you override the failure mechanism you see when you set a goal it releases
343:19 you see when you set a goal it releases positive energy it builds up drive and
343:22 positive energy it builds up drive and desire it gives you persistence it gives
343:24 desire it gives you persistence it gives you Clarity of thought it gives you
343:26 you Clarity of thought it gives you intensity of purpose and it moves you
343:28 intensity of purpose and it moves you forward toward your objective the only
343:31 forward toward your objective the only way you can break out of the comfort
343:32 way you can break out of the comfort zone is by setting goals that are
343:34 zone is by setting goals that are progressively higher than anything that
343:36 progressively higher than anything that you've accomplished and all leaders in
343:38 you've accomplished and all leaders in every study that I've looked at in the
343:39 every study that I've looked at in the last few years make a habit a conscious
343:42 last few years make a habit a conscious habit of not getting stuck in a comfort
343:44 habit of not getting stuck in a comfort zone they're always aware natural
343:47 zone they're always aware natural tendency is to slide to take it easy so
343:49 tendency is to slide to take it easy so they're always setting goals that are
343:51 they're always setting goals that are just a little bit higher than they've
343:53 just a little bit higher than they've ever accomplished before they're always
343:54 ever accomplished before they're always striving always reaching out beyond
343:57 striving always reaching out beyond anything they've done before and that's
343:58 anything they've done before and that's what keeps them growing that keeps them
344:00 what keeps them growing that keeps them alive it keeps them alert it keeps them
344:03 alive it keeps them alert it keeps them bright and it keeps them successful now
344:06 bright and it keeps them successful now we know by the way that achieving goals
344:10 we know by the way that achieving goals is automatic you have this cybernetic
344:12 is automatic you have this cybernetic mechanism that once you've programmed a
344:14 mechanism that once you've programmed a goal into your mind you go off toward it
344:16 goal into your mind you go off toward it automatically the problem is not in
344:18 automatically the problem is not in achieving in achieving goals as human
344:20 achieving in achieving goals as human beings you are a goal achieving organism
344:22 beings you are a goal achieving organism the only time you're happy is when you
344:23 the only time you're happy is when you have a goal the only time that you are
344:25 have a goal the only time that you are fully Alive is when you're working
344:27 fully Alive is when you're working towards something that's really
344:27 towards something that's really important to you to you you need that
344:30 important to you to you you need that sense of meaning and purpose that sense
344:31 sense of meaning and purpose that sense of direction that sense of significance
344:34 of direction that sense of significance in your life the question is not why is
344:36 in your life the question is not why is it that people don't achieve goals
344:37 it that people don't achieve goals because achieving goals is automatic the
344:40 because achieving goals is automatic the question is why is it that people don't
344:41 question is why is it that people don't set goals now I've heard for years
344:44 set goals now I've heard for years before I began working in this subject
344:46 before I began working in this subject you're supposed to set goals you're
344:46 you're supposed to set goals you're supposed to set goals and yet I talked
344:48 supposed to set goals and yet I talked to people who read the books and taken
344:50 to people who read the books and taken the course I said do you have written
344:51 the course I said do you have written goals they don't have any written goals
344:53 goals they don't have any written goals so I began to look into the psychology
344:55 so I began to look into the psychology of goal setting and I found that there
344:57 of goal setting and I found that there are four major reasons why people don't
344:59 are four major reasons why people don't set goals even though they know they
345:01 set goals even though they know they should they know they're important
345:03 should they know they're important they've been told over and over again
345:05 they've been told over and over again four major reasons until you understand
345:07 four major reasons until you understand these four reasons and how they work on
345:09 these four reasons and how they work on you unconsciously we can't go on to the
345:11 you unconsciously we can't go on to the next step so let's talk about them why
345:13 next step so let's talk about them why don't people set goals number one reason
345:15 don't people set goals number one reason why people don't set goals is they don't
345:18 why people don't set goals is they don't realize the importance of
345:20 realize the importance of goals they don't realize the importance
345:23 goals they don't realize the importance of
345:27 goals now what does this mean well it means that you and I are the products of
345:30 means that you and I are the products of our upbringing you and I are the
345:31 our upbringing you and I are the products of uh our parental influences
345:33 products of uh our parental influences our brothers or sisters our friends or
345:35 our brothers or sisters our friends or family and so on if you you grew up in a
345:37 family and so on if you you grew up in a home where your parents did not
345:39 home where your parents did not emphasize goals did not talk about goals
345:43 emphasize goals did not talk about goals did not encourage you to set goals at an
345:45 did not encourage you to set goals at an early age do you know what happens is
345:47 early age do you know what happens is that you can grow up and you can become
345:48 that you can grow up and you can become an adult and you cannot even be aware
345:50 an adult and you cannot even be aware that there's such a thing as goals out
345:51 that there's such a thing as goals out there in the studies on who gets ahead
345:53 there in the studies on who gets ahead in America they found an interesting
345:55 in America they found an interesting thing they found that the conversation
345:57 thing they found that the conversation around the family dinner table is a
345:58 around the family dinner table is a major determinant of the character of
346:01 major determinant of the character of the children who grow and come out of
346:02 the children who grow and come out of that home that if the conversation
346:04 that home that if the conversation around the dinner table is achievement
346:06 around the dinner table is achievement oriented success oriented goal oriented
346:09 oriented success oriented goal oriented then young people will grow up believing
346:12 then young people will grow up believing and working toward goals as naturally as
346:14 and working toward goals as naturally as they eat with a knife and fork or wash
346:15 they eat with a knife and fork or wash their hands after dinner so people don't
346:18 their hands after dinner so people don't realize the importance of goal setting
346:20 realize the importance of goal setting please understand that goal setting is
346:21 please understand that goal setting is critical it is the vital skill of
346:23 critical it is the vital skill of success and the kindest thing that a
346:25 success and the kindest thing that a person could ever do for their children
346:27 person could ever do for their children is to help them set worthwhile and
346:29 is to help them set worthwhile and realistic goals from an early age and
346:31 realistic goals from an early age and then give them all the encouragement
346:32 then give them all the encouragement possible to accomplish those goals
346:35 possible to accomplish those goals second reason why people don't set goals
346:37 second reason why people don't set goals see if this applies to you is they don't
346:39 see if this applies to you is they don't know
346:40 know how surprisingly enough and when I
346:43 how surprisingly enough and when I started studying this subject I found
346:45 started studying this subject I found that everybody said to set goals very
346:47 that everybody said to set goals very important to set goals got to set goals
346:49 important to set goals got to set goals got to have goals got to put a timeline
346:51 got to have goals got to put a timeline on goals but the fact is that there were
346:54 on goals but the fact is that there were no really good goal setting
346:56 no really good goal setting methodologies and in this course I'm
346:58 methodologies and in this course I'm going to teach you a goal setting
346:59 going to teach you a goal setting methodology that is absolute Dynamite
347:02 methodology that is absolute Dynamite considered one of the best goal setting
347:04 considered one of the best goal setting methodologies anybody's ever seen But if
347:06 methodologies anybody's ever seen But if you don't know how to set goals I can
347:07 you don't know how to set goals I can tell you how to set goals to tell you
347:09 tell you how to set goals to tell you two set goals all day and it wouldn't do
347:10 two set goals all day and it wouldn't do you any good you can go through 12 to 15
347:13 you any good you can go through 12 to 15 years of school in our society and never
347:16 years of school in our society and never get one hour on goal setting imagine 12
347:19 get one hour on goal setting imagine 12 to 15 years I've taken a postgraduate
347:22 to 15 years I've taken a postgraduate degree in Business from a major
347:24 degree in Business from a major university and never once did they spend
347:26 university and never once did they spend one hour talking about how to set and
347:29 one hour talking about how to set and Achieve goals never once did they
347:31 Achieve goals never once did they discuss the master skill of success well
347:33 discuss the master skill of success well after this course you're going to know
347:35 after this course you're going to know how to set goals so that won't be a
347:37 how to set goals so that won't be a problem now the third reason why people
347:38 problem now the third reason why people don't set goals and this is in order of
347:40 don't set goals and this is in order of increasing importance is fear of
347:43 increasing importance is fear of rejection the fear of rejection as we
347:45 rejection the fear of rejection as we talked about before one of the most
347:48 talked about before one of the most profound and Powerful fears in our life
347:50 profound and Powerful fears in our life is the fear of being criticized or
347:53 is the fear of being criticized or ridiculed by other people and every one
347:55 ridiculed by other people and every one of us as children When We Were Young we
347:58 of us as children When We Were Young we said I want to do this I want to be a
347:59 said I want to do this I want to be a fireman I want to go here I want to go
348:01 fireman I want to go here I want to go there and we had somebody say a that's
348:03 there and we had somebody say a that's stupid or you can't accomplish that or
348:05 stupid or you can't accomplish that or or don't be silly or you're too small
348:07 or don't be silly or you're too small and so on and what we learned at a very
348:09 and so on and what we learned at a very early age is that if we talked about a
348:11 early age is that if we talked about a goal or something that we wanted that
348:13 goal or something that we wanted that was bigger than we were the most
348:15 was bigger than we were the most important people in our lives would
348:17 important people in our lives would ridicule us and would criticize us and
348:19 ridicule us and would criticize us and make us feel bad and small so
348:21 make us feel bad and small so unconsciously we made a decision if you
348:23 unconsciously we made a decision if you want to get along you've got to go along
348:26 want to get along you've got to go along so we don't talk about our goals that
348:28 so we don't talk about our goals that way nobody criticizes us now as adults
348:31 way nobody criticizes us now as adults we fall into the trap an unconscious
348:33 we fall into the trap an unconscious habit we fall into the Trap of not
348:35 habit we fall into the Trap of not setting goals at all and not talking
348:37 setting goals at all and not talking about goals and not thinking about goals
348:38 about goals and not thinking about goals can then nobody can criticize you and I
348:40 can then nobody can criticize you and I will tell you this that 80 90% of the
348:41 will tell you this that 80 90% of the people around you if you decide you're
348:44 people around you if you decide you're going to do anything from finding a new
348:46 going to do anything from finding a new parking spot to finding a new job or a
348:48 parking spot to finding a new job or a new marriage they will tell you that it
348:50 new marriage they will tell you that it can't be done they'll tell you all the
348:52 can't be done they'll tell you all the reasons and they'll line them up and
348:54 reasons and they'll line them up and they'll try to discourage you from doing
348:56 they'll try to discourage you from doing anything different than you're doing so
348:57 anything different than you're doing so here's the key keep your goals
349:01 here's the key keep your goals confidential keep goals confidential
349:05 confidential keep goals confidential don't discuss your goals with anybody
349:06 don't discuss your goals with anybody body except that the great majority of
349:09 body except that the great majority of people are threatened by anybody who has
349:11 people are threatened by anybody who has a goal they're worried that makes it
349:13 a goal they're worried that makes it makes them feel inferior and inadequate
349:15 makes them feel inferior and inadequate because they don't have goals of their
349:16 because they don't have goals of their own so only discuss your goals with
349:19 own so only discuss your goals with people who also have goals of their own
349:21 people who also have goals of their own discuss them with the people close to
349:23 discuss them with the people close to you whose help you need to accomplish
349:24 you whose help you need to accomplish them but just don't discuss your goals
349:26 them but just don't discuss your goals with people at random and don't give
349:28 with people at random and don't give them a chance to shoot the goals down
349:30 them a chance to shoot the goals down now the
349:31 now the fourth reason why people don't set goals
349:34 fourth reason why people don't set goals this is the top of the list this is the
349:36 this is the top of the list this is the worst of all it's our old friend our old
349:38 worst of all it's our old friend our old enemy if you like fear of
349:46 failure the fear of failure is the number one reason why people fail in
349:48 number one reason why people fail in adult life the fear of failure the fear
349:50 adult life the fear of failure the fear that I can't I might lose my money I
349:53 that I can't I might lose my money I might lose my time I might lose my
349:55 might lose my time I might lose my investment I can't I can't it causes us
349:58 investment I can't I can't it causes us to get become tense and stressed it
350:00 to get become tense and stressed it causes our heart to pound and our
350:01 causes our heart to pound and our stomach to churn this fear of failure is
350:04 stomach to churn this fear of failure is the number one reason why people
350:05 the number one reason why people underachieve and fail life is because
350:07 underachieve and fail life is because the fear of failure holds them back from
350:09 the fear of failure holds them back from ever trying the reason why people fear
350:12 ever trying the reason why people fear failure is they don't understand failure
350:14 failure is they don't understand failure they don't understand this critical
350:16 they don't understand this critical point if you can understand this point
350:17 point if you can understand this point it can turn your whole attitude around
350:19 it can turn your whole attitude around it's simply this is that it's impossible
350:21 it's simply this is that it's impossible to succeed without failing that failure
350:25 to succeed without failing that failure is an indispensable part of success
350:28 is an indispensable part of success failure is essential to success that if
350:31 failure is essential to success that if you avoid failing you cannot succeed
350:34 you avoid failing you cannot succeed that every single great success in in
350:36 that every single great success in in human history has been a failure up
350:39 human history has been a failure up until the moment of their success that
350:41 until the moment of their success that the key to success is to fail and fail
350:44 the key to success is to fail and fail in a forward direction is to continue to
350:46 in a forward direction is to continue to learn from everything that goes wrong to
350:48 learn from everything that goes wrong to every step back every obstacle every
350:50 every step back every obstacle every disappointment step back and say what
350:53 disappointment step back and say what can I learn from this situation use the
350:55 can I learn from this situation use the law of substitution and derive a
350:58 law of substitution and derive a valuable lesson from every single
351:01 valuable lesson from every single failure remember we talked about U the
351:04 failure remember we talked about U the becoming an inverse paranoid confident
351:06 becoming an inverse paranoid confident expectations every time something goes
351:08 expectations every time something goes wrong look into it and say now I wonder
351:10 wrong look into it and say now I wonder why this is happening to help me and
351:13 why this is happening to help me and you'll find that in every single setback
351:15 you'll find that in every single setback or disadvantage as Napoleon Hill said in
351:17 or disadvantage as Napoleon Hill said in his book there's a valuable lesson an
351:19 his book there's a valuable lesson an opportunity or a benefit that you can
351:21 opportunity or a benefit that you can find if you look for it that successful
351:24 find if you look for it that successful people leaders are people who never use
351:26 people leaders are people who never use the word failure they never think of the
351:28 the word failure they never think of the word failure Thomas J Watson the founder
351:30 word failure Thomas J Watson the founder of IBM was once asked by a young man he
351:32 of IBM was once asked by a young man he said Mr Watson what can I do to be more
351:35 said Mr Watson what can I do to be more successful and Watson said without
351:36 successful and Watson said without hesitating he said double your failure
351:39 hesitating he said double your failure rate double your failure rate why it's
351:44 rate double your failure rate why it's because let me put this down it's
351:47 because let me put this down it's because if you look at the life stories
351:50 because if you look at the life stories of successful men and women if you look
351:52 of successful men and women if you look at the life story of a person like
351:55 at the life story of a person like Thomas Edison one of the greatest
351:57 Thomas Edison one of the greatest failures in history Thomas Edison in the
351:59 failures in history Thomas Edison in the course of his lifetime patented 1,52
352:02 course of his lifetime patented 1,52 devices at the US patent office over a
352:04 devices at the US patent office over a thousand of those devices were actually
352:06 thousand of those devices were actually turned into commercial products that
352:08 turned into commercial products that made enormous amounts of money Watson or
352:11 made enormous amounts of money Watson or Edison was also the greatest failure in
352:13 Edison was also the greatest failure in the history of invention he failed
352:15 the history of invention he failed 177,000 times to come up with a plant
352:18 177,000 times to come up with a plant that from
352:20 that from which from which natural latex could be
352:22 which from which natural latex could be drawn he failed thousands of times in
352:24 drawn he failed thousands of times in other experiments failed over 11,000
352:27 other experiments failed over 11,000 times in his attempt to come up with a
352:28 times in his attempt to come up with a filament for the electric light bulb
352:30 filament for the electric light bulb after he had failed 5,000 times and it
352:32 after he had failed 5,000 times and it was in the newspaper it was called
352:34 was in the newspaper it was called Edison's Folly this attempt to somehow
352:37 Edison's Folly this attempt to somehow light the world with an incandescent
352:38 light the world with an incandescent light bulb everybody knew the world
352:40 light bulb everybody knew the world people were supposed to light their way
352:41 people were supposed to light their way through the world with a kerosene
352:43 through the world with a kerosene lantern reporter came to him young
352:45 lantern reporter came to him young reporter said Mr Edison why do you
352:46 reporter said Mr Edison why do you persist in spending all of this time and
352:48 persist in spending all of this time and money after you failed 5,000 times and
352:51 money after you failed 5,000 times and it said young man he said you don't
352:53 it said young man he said you don't understand how the world Works he said I
352:55 understand how the world Works he said I haven't failed at all he said I've just
352:56 haven't failed at all he said I've just successfully discovered 5,000 ways that
352:58 successfully discovered 5,000 ways that will not work he said that puts me just
353:00 will not work he said that puts me just 5,000 ways closer to the way that will
353:03 5,000 ways closer to the way that will work it was over 11,000 experiments
353:06 work it was over 11,000 experiments before he found the tungsten or the
353:08 before he found the tungsten or the carbon impregnated impregnated filament
353:11 carbon impregnated impregnated filament that Lit the first electric light bulb
353:13 that Lit the first electric light bulb and changed the world Colonel Sanders
353:15 and changed the world Colonel Sanders went to over a thousand restaurants a
353:17 went to over a thousand restaurants a 66y old man went to over a thousand
353:20 66y old man went to over a thousand restaurants to try to sell his recipe
353:22 restaurants to try to sell his recipe initially before he found one restaurant
353:25 initially before he found one restaurant that would pay him a 5cent a chicken
353:27 that would pay him a 5cent a chicken royalty but he kept on would you keep on
353:30 royalty but he kept on would you keep on after 100 200 500 a thousand people had
353:34 after 100 200 500 a thousand people had told you no Sanders did and became one
353:37 told you no Sanders did and became one of the richest and most well-known and
353:39 of the richest and most well-known and well most respected men in America so
353:41 well most respected men in America so you have to understand that success and
353:43 you have to understand that success and failure go handin hand that wherever
353:45 failure go handin hand that wherever there's is a possibility for Success
353:47 there's is a possibility for Success there's also the possibility for failure
353:49 there's also the possibility for failure there is nothing wrong with failing as
353:50 there is nothing wrong with failing as long as you learn from every lesson and
353:53 long as you learn from every lesson and remember if you have a certain number of
353:55 remember if you have a certain number of failures that you have to go through in
353:56 failures that you have to go through in order to learn the lessons and gain the
353:58 order to learn the lessons and gain the experience in order to achieve your
354:00 experience in order to achieve your great success the sooner you do it the
354:02 great success the sooner you do it the faster you get on with it the more
354:03 faster you get on with it the more mistakes you make the more times you
354:05 mistakes you make the more times you fall in your face and pick your up and
354:06 fall in your face and pick your up and learn from it the faster you're going to
354:08 learn from it the faster you're going to achieve what you're capable of achieving
354:11 achieve what you're capable of achieving all right this brings us to the second
354:13 all right this brings us to the second part of goal setting and these are what
354:15 part of goal setting and these are what I call the five Keys now these five keys
354:18 I call the five Keys now these five keys are five key parts of the process of
354:21 are five key parts of the process of goal setting for you to keep in mind on
354:23 goal setting for you to keep in mind on a regular basis the first key part
354:25 a regular basis the first key part number one is this is that the scariest
354:28 number one is this is that the scariest thing in human life today is change we
354:31 thing in human life today is change we know however that change is inevitable
354:33 know however that change is inevitable that change is a part of progress that
354:35 that change is a part of progress that there's no progress without change that
354:37 there's no progress without change that your life cannot even improve with
354:39 your life cannot even improve with change we know that change is scary and
354:42 change we know that change is scary and there's a natural tendency what we call
354:44 there's a natural tendency what we call homeostasis there's a natural tendency
354:46 homeostasis there's a natural tendency for people to resist change to to to
354:48 for people to resist change to to to push it back to to avoid it to dig in
354:51 push it back to to avoid it to dig in their heels to get into that comfort
354:52 their heels to get into that comfort zone and as I've said before the comfort
354:54 zone and as I've said before the comfort zone is the greatest single enemy of
354:56 zone is the greatest single enemy of human potential change is scary unless
355:00 human potential change is scary unless it is goal directed unless it is goal
355:05 it is goal directed unless it is goal directed and this this is the key is
355:07 directed and this this is the key is that we can overcome this persistent
355:10 that we can overcome this persistent unconscious fear of Change by one simple
355:13 unconscious fear of Change by one simple technique is by taking control of it
355:15 technique is by taking control of it remember we said that the law of control
355:18 remember we said that the law of control is the critical law of human Harmony
355:19 is the critical law of human Harmony that you only feel positive about
355:21 that you only feel positive about yourself to the degree to which you feel
355:23 yourself to the degree to which you feel you are in control of your own life well
355:25 you are in control of your own life well goals allow us to control the direction
355:28 goals allow us to control the direction of change we know that life never goes
355:30 of change we know that life never goes on in a straight line for any period of
355:32 on in a straight line for any period of time life is either getting
355:35 time life is either getting better and improving or life is getting
355:37 better and improving or life is getting worse and deteriorating that just
355:40 worse and deteriorating that just happens to be the fact however when we
355:43 happens to be the fact however when we set goals we can control the direction
355:45 set goals we can control the direction of change and controlling the direction
355:47 of change and controlling the direction of change is the key to our success so
355:51 of change is the key to our success so that all everything that happens in our
355:52 that all everything that happens in our life is goal directed it is toward
355:54 life is goal directed it is toward something that we want it is toward
355:56 something that we want it is toward Improvement it is in the direction of
355:58 Improvement it is in the direction of our highest ideals rather than random
356:00 our highest ideals rather than random see nobody fears change if it's in the
356:03 see nobody fears change if it's in the direction of something that they want
356:04 direction of something that they want the only change that we fear is fear is
356:07 the only change that we fear is fear is changed that leaves us worse off than we
356:09 changed that leaves us worse off than we were before and this brings us to our
356:11 were before and this brings us to our second key Concept in goal setting it's
356:14 second key Concept in goal setting it's what we call
356:15 what we call the area of Excellence now the area of
356:19 the area of Excellence now the area of Excellence concept is very simple what
356:21 Excellence concept is very simple what it says is that
356:23 it says is that everybody has talents that rotate around
356:27 everybody has talents that rotate around the average these are average talents we
356:30 the average these are average talents we are better at cooking better worse at
356:32 are better at cooking better worse at math better at communicating worse at
356:34 math better at communicating worse at selling better at speaking wor set
356:36 selling better at speaking wor set history and so on we all have talents
356:38 history and so on we all have talents but it also says that every one of us
356:40 but it also says that every one of us has talents somewhere that are in the
356:43 has talents somewhere that are in the exceptional range that every single
356:45 exceptional range that every single human being has an area of excellence in
356:48 human being has an area of excellence in which they are extremely capable if they
356:51 which they are extremely capable if they can find it that every single person
356:53 can find it that every single person we'll talk about this earlier has genius
356:55 we'll talk about this earlier has genius in some area and one of the great jobs
356:57 in some area and one of the great jobs of adult life is to find your area of
357:00 of adult life is to find your area of excellence and to throw your whole heart
357:01 excellence and to throw your whole heart and soul into that area of excellence
357:03 and soul into that area of excellence and into becoming very good in the area
357:06 and into becoming very good in the area where you have unique gifts and
357:08 where you have unique gifts and abilities for instance three keys to
357:11 abilities for instance three keys to your area of Excellence three critical
357:13 your area of Excellence three critical Keys number one is
357:17 Keys number one is attention attention the things that hold
357:19 attention attention the things that hold your attention are a very very good
357:21 your attention are a very very good indicator of where your area of
357:23 indicator of where your area of Excellence might be what do you like to
357:24 Excellence might be what do you like to read about what do you like to talk
357:25 read about what do you like to talk about what do you like to think about
357:26 about what do you like to think about what do you like to study what do you
357:28 what do you like to study what do you like to learn more about
357:30 like to learn more about also uh interest what are you interested
357:33 also uh interest what are you interested in what has held you or been fascinating
357:36 in what has held you or been fascinating subject for you throughout your life
357:38 subject for you throughout your life sometimes we are programmed internally
357:39 sometimes we are programmed internally to be interested and drawn towards
357:41 to be interested and drawn towards things that are the very best for us and
357:44 things that are the very best for us and finally absorption what could you become
357:47 finally absorption what could you become totally absorbed in what absorbs your
357:50 totally absorbed in what absorbs your attention completely when you're working
357:51 attention completely when you're working at it when you're thinking about it when
357:52 at it when you're thinking about it when you're reading about it it absorbs your
357:54 you're reading about it it absorbs your attention completely attention interest
357:57 attention completely attention interest and absorption are the three keys to
357:58 and absorption are the three keys to finding your area of excellence and one
358:01 finding your area of excellence and one of the most important responsibilities
358:02 of the most important responsibilities of adult life is to find your area of
358:05 of adult life is to find your area of Excellence because until you do that and
358:07 Excellence because until you do that and commit yourself to it you will never
358:08 commit yourself to it you will never achieve your full potential and
358:10 achieve your full potential and everybody has an area of Excellence now
358:12 everybody has an area of Excellence now the next key number three area of
358:14 the next key number three area of Excellence is number two next next key
358:16 Excellence is number two next next key is what we call Acres of
358:18 is what we call Acres of diamonds and the Acres of diamonds
358:21 diamonds and the Acres of diamonds Theory comes from a story about an old
358:25 Theory comes from a story about an old farmer who went off seeking diamonds in
358:28 farmer who went off seeking diamonds in Africa sold his farm wrapped up
358:30 Africa sold his farm wrapped up everything went off seeking diamonds ran
358:33 everything went off seeking diamonds ran out of money and finally died poor
358:35 out of money and finally died poor impoverished and alone
358:36 impoverished and alone and meanwhile back on his farm the new
358:39 and meanwhile back on his farm the new owner went out and discovered some of
358:40 owner went out and discovered some of the biggest diamonds in history the
358:42 the biggest diamonds in history the Acres of diamonds philosophy says that
358:44 Acres of diamonds philosophy says that under your own feet right now in almost
358:47 under your own feet right now in almost all cases is everything that you're
358:49 all cases is everything that you're looking for right now contained within
358:51 looking for right now contained within your own talents your own abilities your
358:54 your own talents your own abilities your own experience your own wisdom your own
358:56 own experience your own wisdom your own knowledge your industry your family your
358:57 knowledge your industry your family your contacts that somewhere right now under
359:00 contacts that somewhere right now under your own
359:01 your own feet is the opportunity that you're
359:04 feet is the opportunity that you're looking for you don't have to go across
359:06 looking for you don't have to go across the world you don't have to move to
359:08 the world you don't have to move to another city you don't have to change
359:10 another city you don't have to change all you have to do is mine your own
359:12 all you have to do is mine your own Acres of diamonds but the interesting
359:14 Acres of diamonds but the interesting thing is that diamonds don't look like
359:16 thing is that diamonds don't look like diamonds in their rough form diamonds or
359:19 diamonds in their rough form diamonds or opportunities always come disguised as
359:22 opportunities always come disguised as hard work the reason why people are
359:25 hard work the reason why people are always looking somewhere else is because
359:27 always looking somewhere else is because they don't recognize that your great
359:29 they don't recognize that your great opportunities always come disguised as
359:31 opportunities always come disguised as hard work and they take a tremendous
359:33 hard work and they take a tremendous amount of work and effort to develop and
359:35 amount of work and effort to develop and to realize so look under your own feet
359:37 to realize so look under your own feet for your Acres of diamonds look into
359:39 for your Acres of diamonds look into your own unique talents for your area of
359:41 your own unique talents for your area of Excellence absolutely critical to goal
359:43 Excellence absolutely critical to goal setting now the fourth is the importance
359:46 setting now the fourth is the importance of balance in life in order to be truly
359:49 of balance in life in order to be truly successful you must have balanced goals
359:52 successful you must have balanced goals you can't have just goals that are all
359:54 you can't have just goals that are all money you can't have goals that are all
359:56 money you can't have goals that are all in any One Direction you need a balance
359:57 in any One Direction you need a balance of goals and here are the three key
359:59 of goals and here are the three key areas number one is you need personal
360:02 areas number one is you need personal and family
360:03 and family goals now your personal and family goals
360:06 goals now your personal and family goals are the goals that more than anything
360:08 are the goals that more than anything else determine the quality of your
360:09 else determine the quality of your emotional life determine how good you
360:12 emotional life determine how good you feel about yourself and life and your
360:15 feel about yourself and life and your personal and family goals you need about
360:16 personal and family goals you need about three to five these are the reasons why
360:20 three to five these are the reasons why these are the why of your life this is
360:22 these are the why of your life this is why you're alive in the first place
360:24 why you're alive in the first place which is to achieve a life that is
360:26 which is to achieve a life that is significant and important and
360:27 significant and important and pleasurable to you and you must never
360:29 pleasurable to you and you must never sacrifice these for anything else the
360:32 sacrifice these for anything else the second set of goals are business and
360:34 second set of goals are business and career goals now your business and
360:36 career goals now your business and career goals are the way that you earn
360:38 career goals are the way that you earn the wherewithal they're the way that you
360:39 the wherewithal they're the way that you fulfill your potential as a productive
360:41 fulfill your potential as a productive member of society they're they're the
360:43 member of society they're they're the way you make a contribution these are
360:45 way you make a contribution these are the what goals but remember these are
360:48 the what goals but remember these are not as important as the why the natural
360:50 not as important as the why the natural tendency for us if we're not careful is
360:52 tendency for us if we're not careful is we get so caught up in the what the
360:55 we get so caught up in the what the business and career goals that we forget
360:57 business and career goals that we forget the personal and family which are the
360:58 the personal and family which are the reasons why we started in the first
361:00 reasons why we started in the first place and you need three to five goals
361:02 place and you need three to five goals in the business and career area and
361:04 in the business and career area and number three is the self self
361:06 number three is the self self improvement goals now self-improvement
361:08 improvement goals now self-improvement goals means that you look upon yourself
361:11 goals means that you look upon yourself as a do- it to yourself project it means
361:14 as a do- it to yourself project it means that you look into
361:16 that you look into yourself as a person who has infinite
361:20 yourself as a person who has infinite capacity but it has to be developed and
361:21 capacity but it has to be developed and you need three to five self-improvement
361:23 you need three to five self-improvement goals too now your self-improvement
361:25 goals too now your self-improvement goals are what we call the means
361:26 goals are what we call the means self-improvement are the means to get
361:29 self-improvement are the means to get the what which is the what you need in
361:33 the what which is the what you need in order to accomplish your why one more
361:35 order to accomplish your why one more point and that's this and it's Point
361:38 point and that's this and it's Point number five and that is the need for a
361:40 number five and that is the need for a major definite
361:43 major definite purpose a major definite purpose is the
361:47 purpose a major definite purpose is the number one goal in life and every single
361:50 number one goal in life and every single study that we have looked at every
361:52 study that we have looked at every single study I looked at in Peak
361:54 single study I looked at in Peak Performance high achievement and so on
361:56 Performance high achievement and so on comes back to this very simple equation
361:58 comes back to this very simple equation this very simple factor is that your
362:00 this very simple factor is that your life only begins to become great when
362:02 life only begins to become great when you fix upon a major definite purpose
362:05 you fix upon a major definite purpose one goal
362:06 one goal One mission one goal that is bigger than
362:09 One mission one goal that is bigger than any other single goal in your life now
362:11 any other single goal in your life now it doesn't mean you can't have several
362:12 it doesn't mean you can't have several goals you can have 10 to 15 goals going
362:15 goals you can have 10 to 15 goals going you can have two to 300 if you want but
362:17 you can have two to 300 if you want but you have to have one if somebody were to
362:20 you have to have one if somebody were to wake you up in the middle of the night
362:21 wake you up in the middle of the night and give you a shake and say what is
362:23 and give you a shake and say what is your major definite purpose you should
362:24 your major definite purpose you should be able to open your eyes and be able to
362:26 be able to open your eyes and be able to tell them just like that your major
362:28 tell them just like that your major definite purpose must be measurable in
362:31 definite purpose must be measurable in other words you can't have a major
362:32 other words you can't have a major definite purpose to be happy my I had
362:36 definite purpose to be happy my I had one woman come up to me and she said her
362:37 one woman come up to me and she said her major definite purpose was world
362:40 major definite purpose was world peace and I said well your major
362:42 peace and I said well your major definite purpose in order for it to have
362:44 definite purpose in order for it to have any meaning for you in order for it to
362:47 any meaning for you in order for it to give purpose and direction to your life
362:50 give purpose and direction to your life has to be under your own control it has
362:52 has to be under your own control it has to be measurable it has to be specific
362:55 to be measurable it has to be specific it has to be tangible it has to be
362:58 it has to be tangible it has to be something that you can do or have or be
363:01 something that you can do or have or be it has to be something that when you've
363:03 it has to be something that when you've accomplished it you can look at it and
363:04 accomplished it you can look at it and say here it is it's achieved it can't be
363:07 say here it is it's achieved it can't be something nebulous because setting a big
363:09 something nebulous because setting a big broad unbounded goal is a way that we
363:13 broad unbounded goal is a way that we trick ourselves into setting no goals at
363:16 trick ourselves into setting no goals at all and with regard to your major
363:19 all and with regard to your major definite purpose and your other goals
363:20 definite purpose and your other goals two points you can have tangible and
363:22 two points you can have tangible and intangible goals in other words you can
363:24 intangible goals in other words you can have qualitative goals that have to do
363:26 have qualitative goals that have to do with the quality of your life and you
363:27 with the quality of your life and you can have quantitative goals or tangible
363:29 can have quantitative goals or tangible goals that have to do with your income
363:31 goals that have to do with your income weight loss bigger car bigger house and
363:33 weight loss bigger car bigger house and so on and you need a balance of those
363:36 so on and you need a balance of those and finally you need short-term and
363:38 and finally you need short-term and long-term goals now your short-term
363:40 long-term goals now your short-term goals ideally are about 90 days for
363:43 goals ideally are about 90 days for maximum motivation your long-term goals
363:45 maximum motivation your long-term goals should be about 2 to three years for
363:47 should be about 2 to three years for maximum motivation and your major
363:49 maximum motivation and your major definite purpose or your major goals
363:51 definite purpose or your major goals should be two to threeyear goals maybe
363:52 should be two to threeyear goals maybe shorter maybe longer broken down into
363:55 shorter maybe longer broken down into 90-day
363:56 90-day periods that having been said I'm going
363:58 periods that having been said I'm going to give you a brief goal setting
364:00 to give you a brief goal setting exercise I'm going to ask you seven
364:02 exercise I'm going to ask you seven quick questions I'm going to give you
364:04 quick questions I'm going to give you between 30 and 60 seconds to answer
364:06 between 30 and 60 seconds to answer these questions and what I want you to
364:08 these questions and what I want you to do is write as quickly as you possibly
364:11 do is write as quickly as you possibly can the very first things that come to
364:13 can the very first things that come to your mind now the first question is this
364:16 your mind now the first question is this are you ready get out a pencil of paper
364:18 are you ready get out a pencil of paper pencil clean sheet of paper goal setting
364:21 pencil clean sheet of paper goal setting exercise here it is question number one
364:25 exercise here it is question number one is what are your five basic values in
364:28 is what are your five basic values in life what five things do you value most
364:31 life what five things do you value most in
364:32 in life number one question you have 60
364:34 life number one question you have 60 seconds to answer this question counting
364:36 seconds to answer this question counting right
364:37 right now what things do you value most in
364:41 now what things do you value most in life your home your car your family your
364:45 life your home your car your family your income your job your career your
364:48 income your job your career your Spiritual Development your health your
364:50 Spiritual Development your health your wealth your stereo set your new
364:53 wealth your stereo set your new hubcaps your intelligence your
364:55 hubcaps your intelligence your intellectual growth what five things do
364:58 intellectual growth what five things do you value most in
365:00 you value most in life 30 seconds write the first five
365:03 life 30 seconds write the first five things that come to mind
365:06 things that come to mind and once you've written the answer to
365:07 and once you've written the answer to this question your five basic values
365:10 this question your five basic values organize them in order of priority what
365:12 organize them in order of priority what are the what is the first one what would
365:14 are the what is the first one what would be number one if you had to throw away
365:16 be number one if you had to throw away the other four what would be number two
365:18 the other four what would be number two if you had to throw away the other three
365:20 if you had to throw away the other three what would be number three and so on
365:22 what would be number three and so on organize them in order of priority
365:24 organize them in order of priority number one through number
365:26 number one through number five right 5 Seconds 4 3 2 1 question
365:32 five right 5 Seconds 4 3 2 1 question number two is write your three most
365:35 number two is write your three most important goals in life right now you
365:37 important goals in life right now you have 30 seconds what your three most
365:39 have 30 seconds what your three most important goals in life right
365:42 important goals in life right now
365:44 now counting 25 seconds left write the first
365:48 counting 25 seconds left write the first three goals that pop into your
365:49 three goals that pop into your mind if you can't think of anything else
365:52 mind if you can't think of anything else write money money
365:54 write money money money but write the first three goals
365:56 money but write the first three goals that pop into mind
365:58 that pop into mind quickly okay 10 seconds this is an easy
366:02 quickly okay 10 seconds this is an easy question
366:13 5 4 3 2 1 question number three you have one minute what would you do how would
366:15 one minute what would you do how would you spend your time if you found today
366:17 you spend your time if you found today that you only had 6 months to live how
366:20 that you only had 6 months to live how would you spend the last 6 months of
366:21 would you spend the last 6 months of your life if you only had six months to
366:23 your life if you only had six months to live write everything that you do in the
366:25 live write everything that you do in the last 6 months time is counting now write
366:28 last 6 months time is counting now write it as though everything you put on this
366:29 it as though everything you put on this list you can do in that last six months
366:31 list you can do in that last six months but if you don't write it down you can't
366:33 but if you don't write it down you can't do it how would you spend your time
366:36 do it how would you spend your time who would you spend your time with where
366:38 who would you spend your time with where would you go what would you do what
366:41 would you go what would you do what would you want to finish up what would
366:42 would you want to finish up what would you want to start who would you want to
366:44 you want to start who would you want to see what phone calls would you
366:47 see what phone calls would you make what bills would you run up on your
366:49 make what bills would you run up on your on your charge
366:57 cards okay in other words what would you do if you had six months to
367:05 live all right 10 seconds write everything you can think of remember if
367:07 everything you can think of remember if it's written
367:08 it's written down on this sheet in front of you you
367:10 down on this sheet in front of you you can do it if you forget to write it you
367:11 can do it if you forget to write it you won't be able to do it 5 Seconds 4 3 2 1
367:17 won't be able to do it 5 Seconds 4 3 2 1 question number four what would you do
367:20 question number four what would you do how would you change your life if you
367:21 how would you change your life if you won a million dollars in the lottery
367:23 won a million dollars in the lottery tomorrow if you became an instant
367:25 tomorrow if you became an instant millionaire what would you do
367:26 millionaire what would you do differently from what you're doing today
367:28 differently from what you're doing today if you became an instant millionaire
367:30 if you became an instant millionaire what would you do differently you've got
367:31 what would you do differently you've got one minute to write everything that you
367:33 one minute to write everything that you write you'll be able to do with that
367:34 write you'll be able to do with that million dollar
367:36 million dollar if you don't write it down you won't be
367:37 if you don't write it down you won't be able to spend it the million dollars
367:39 able to spend it the million dollars won't be given to
367:41 won't be given to you interestingly enough when most
367:43 you interestingly enough when most people are ask this question the average
367:44 people are ask this question the average amount that they can spend is about
367:46 amount that they can spend is about $200,000 they can't get their mind
367:48 $200,000 they can't get their mind around a million but what would you do
367:50 around a million but what would you do differently good question would you
367:52 differently good question would you continue working at the job you're
367:53 continue working at the job you're working at if you want a million dollars
367:56 working at if you want a million dollars if the answer is no it means you're in
367:58 if the answer is no it means you're in the wrong job for you and you are
367:59 the wrong job for you and you are wasting your life would you stay in the
368:02 wasting your life would you stay in the relationship that you're
368:04 relationship that you're in would you continue spending your time
368:06 in would you continue spending your time the way you spend
368:08 the way you spend it what would you do if you want a
368:10 it what would you do if you want a million
368:12 million dollars all right 5 seconds left write
368:15 dollars all right 5 seconds left write down everything you can think
368:17 down everything you can think of I had a farmer in one of my courses
368:20 of I had a farmer in one of my courses once he said he' just keep on farming
368:22 once he said he' just keep on farming till it was all
368:24 till it was all gone anyway number
368:26 gone anyway number five have to be a farmer to appreciate
368:29 five have to be a farmer to appreciate that number five is what have you always
368:31 that number five is what have you always wanted to do but been afraid to attempt
368:33 wanted to do but been afraid to attempt got 30 seconds what have you always
368:35 got 30 seconds what have you always wanted to do in life but been afraid to
368:41 attempt 30 seconds right the first thing that pops into mind run for public
368:43 that pops into mind run for public office give a professional talk start a
368:46 office give a professional talk start a new relationship start your own business
368:48 new relationship start your own business half the population would like to start
368:50 half the population would like to start their own business did you know that
368:51 their own business did you know that over half the population but they don't
368:53 over half the population but they don't do it because they're afraid of failure
368:55 do it because they're afraid of failure or rejection or something
368:57 or rejection or something else 10 seconds left what have you
368:59 else 10 seconds left what have you always wanted to do but been afraid to
369:00 always wanted to do but been afraid to attempt this is a very revealing
369:02 attempt this is a very revealing question write whatever comes down on
369:04 question write whatever comes down on the page
369:07 the page all right question number six what sort
369:09 all right question number six what sort of activities in life give you your
369:11 of activities in life give you your greatest feeling of importance what sort
369:13 greatest feeling of importance what sort of activities give you the greatest
369:15 of activities give you the greatest feeling of pleasure self-esteem
369:17 feeling of pleasure self-esteem Happiness joy and fulfillment what you
369:20 Happiness joy and fulfillment what you really like to do look back over your
369:22 really like to do look back over your life and ask yourself when have you been
369:23 life and ask yourself when have you been the happiest 30 seconds left 30 seconds
369:25 the happiest 30 seconds left 30 seconds to go in this question when have you
369:27 to go in this question when have you been the happiest in life when have you
369:29 been the happiest in life when have you been the most fulfilled when have you
369:30 been the most fulfilled when have you felt the very best about yourself when
369:32 felt the very best about yourself when have you had the greatest amount of
369:34 have you had the greatest amount of peace and personal satis action what
369:36 peace and personal satis action what sort of circumstances what were you
369:38 sort of circumstances what were you doing at the time who were you doing it
369:40 doing at the time who were you doing it with where were you going what were your
369:42 with where were you going what were your goals what were the circumstances and so
369:44 goals what were the circumstances and so on very very important
369:47 on very very important question all right five more seconds and
369:50 question all right five more seconds and then here is the key question in
369:52 then here is the key question in determining your major definite purpose
369:55 determining your major definite purpose is this imagine that I could give you a
369:57 is this imagine that I could give you a pill that was a magic pill and if you
369:59 pill that was a magic pill and if you took this magic pill you could
370:00 took this magic pill you could accomplish any one thing in the whole
370:02 accomplish any one thing in the whole world and the question is simply this
370:03 world and the question is simply this what one great thing would you dare to
370:05 what one great thing would you dare to to dream if you knew you could not fail
370:07 to dream if you knew you could not fail what one great thing would you dare to
370:10 what one great thing would you dare to dream if you knew you could not fail all
370:13 dream if you knew you could not fail all right 45
370:15 right 45 seconds what one great thing what one
370:25 goal would you dare to dream if you knew beyond a shadow of a
370:33 doubt that you could not fail you're absolutely guaranteed of success what
370:36 absolutely guaranteed of success what would it
370:48 be 5 Seconds now in almost every case by the way the answers to these questions
370:50 the way the answers to these questions will Spring to your lips some people
370:52 will Spring to your lips some people however have been able to go through
370:53 however have been able to go through this whole exercise and not been able to
370:55 this whole exercise and not been able to answer a single question and there's
370:57 answer a single question and there's nothing wrong with that the whole
370:58 nothing wrong with that the whole purpose of this exercise is to help you
371:01 purpose of this exercise is to help you begin crystallizing your goals and
371:03 begin crystallizing your goals and especially your major definite purpose
371:06 especially your major definite purpose let's look at these goals let's look at
371:07 let's look at these goals let's look at these questions and I suggest that you
371:09 these questions and I suggest that you take this exercise every single month
371:11 take this exercise every single month until you can pop out the answers to
371:13 until you can pop out the answers to every one of these questions and they
371:14 every one of these questions and they begin to improve and crystallize five
371:16 begin to improve and crystallize five basic values in life we said that
371:18 basic values in life we said that self-esteem is the key to Peak
371:20 self-esteem is the key to Peak Performance while self-esteem only comes
371:22 Performance while self-esteem only comes when your goals and your values fit like
371:25 when your goals and your values fit like a hand in a glove that the most
371:26 a hand in a glove that the most successful men and women in our society
371:28 successful men and women in our society are people who know what they believe
371:30 are people who know what they believe who know what their values are and they
371:33 who know what their values are and they organize their time so that it's
371:35 organize their time so that it's consistent with their values and you'll
371:37 consistent with their values and you'll find that most stress most unhappiness
371:39 find that most stress most unhappiness most irritability most health problems
371:41 most irritability most health problems most burnout comes from living a life
371:43 most burnout comes from living a life that is inconsistent with your basic
371:46 that is inconsistent with your basic values so always be asking yourself what
371:48 values so always be asking yourself what are my values what do I believe in and
371:51 are my values what do I believe in and make sure that your outer life is
371:52 make sure that your outer life is consistent with your inner life it's the
371:54 consistent with your inner life it's the key to Peak Performance the key to
371:56 key to Peak Performance the key to self-esteem the key to happiness number
371:58 self-esteem the key to happiness number two what are your three most important
372:00 two what are your three most important goals in life whenever you're given only
372:02 goals in life whenever you're given only 30 seconds to answer that question the
372:04 30 seconds to answer that question the three goals that the sub not just pops
372:05 three goals that the sub not just pops to your mind will almost invariably be
372:07 to your mind will almost invariably be the three most important concerns or
372:09 the three most important concerns or goals that you have right now this is a
372:12 goals that you have right now this is a very revealing question and you can give
372:14 very revealing question and you can give it to yourself and give it to other
372:15 it to yourself and give it to other people what would you do if you had six
372:16 people what would you do if you had six months to live if you only have six
372:19 months to live if you only have six months to
372:20 months to live it refers you back to your basic
372:22 live it refers you back to your basic values it tells you what you really
372:24 values it tells you what you really value in life and an important question
372:27 value in life and an important question is this is that how much of your current
372:29 is this is that how much of your current life is consistent with what you would
372:31 life is consistent with what you would do if you only had 6 months to live
372:33 do if you only had 6 months to live would you spend more time with your
372:34 would you spend more time with your family if you would are you spending
372:36 family if you would are you spending more time with your family now remember
372:38 more time with your family now remember you never know when you only have 6
372:40 you never know when you only have 6 months to live what would you do if you
372:42 months to live what would you do if you became an instant millionaire perfect
372:44 became an instant millionaire perfect question that simply asks you what would
372:46 question that simply asks you what would you do if you had all the time and money
372:48 you do if you had all the time and money in the world what would you do if you
372:49 in the world what would you do if you had no fear of failure and no fear of
372:52 had no fear of failure and no fear of rejection what would you do if you were
372:54 rejection what would you do if you were free to choose if you had complete
372:57 free to choose if you had complete freedom to choose the fact is that
372:58 freedom to choose the fact is that anything that you could write down as an
373:00 anything that you could write down as an answer to question number four you can
373:01 answer to question number four you can accomplish you don't need a million
373:03 accomplish you don't need a million dollars all you need to do is has set it
373:05 dollars all you need to do is has set it as a goal and make a plan and start
373:07 as a goal and make a plan and start working toward you may not get it as
373:09 working toward you may not get it as fast as if you were a millionaire but
373:10 fast as if you were a millionaire but you'll get it nonetheless asking the
373:13 you'll get it nonetheless asking the question simply frees your mind question
373:15 question simply frees your mind question number five what are you afraid to
373:16 number five what are you afraid to attempt that may tell you what the
373:18 attempt that may tell you what the self-limiting belief or block is that's
373:21 self-limiting belief or block is that's holding you back from achieving your
373:23 holding you back from achieving your full potential question number six what
373:26 full potential question number six what gives you your greatest feeling of
373:27 gives you your greatest feeling of importance this is simply asks you what
373:30 importance this is simply asks you what gives you a feeling of self-esteem and
373:32 gives you a feeling of self-esteem and this will lead you uniring to your area
373:34 this will lead you uniring to your area of Excellence
373:35 of Excellence because you will always and only become
373:37 because you will always and only become Excellence doing what gives you a
373:40 Excellence doing what gives you a tremendous feeling of importance and
373:42 tremendous feeling of importance and question number seven what one great
373:44 question number seven what one great thing would you dare to dream if you
373:46 thing would you dare to dream if you knew you could not fail let me just say
373:48 knew you could not fail let me just say this as we close that whatever you wrote
373:51 this as we close that whatever you wrote as an answer to that question whatever
373:53 as an answer to that question whatever you wrote as an answer to the question
373:55 you wrote as an answer to the question what one great thing would you dare to
373:57 what one great thing would you dare to dream if you knew you could not fail you
374:00 dream if you knew you could not fail you can be have or do the only question is
374:03 can be have or do the only question is how badly do you want it
374:05 how badly do you want it and are you willing to pay the price
374:07 and are you willing to pay the price because if you are and you're willing to
374:09 because if you are and you're willing to pay the price and work toward it you can
374:12 pay the price and work toward it you can accomplish everything on that list and
374:15 accomplish everything on that list and sometimes far faster than you can
374:16 sometimes far faster than you can possibly imagine the question is how
374:19 possibly imagine the question is how badly do you want
374:35 it session 16 12 steps to go achieving one of the wisest men I ever
374:38 achieving one of the wisest men I ever met gave me a success secret some years
374:40 met gave me a success secret some years ago that would made a real impression on
374:41 ago that would made a real impression on me and it was simply this he said one of
374:44 me and it was simply this he said one of the most important things he found in 50
374:46 the most important things he found in 50 years of research was the need to use
374:48 years of research was the need to use proven success methods he said your life
374:52 proven success methods he said your life is too short to try to reinvent the
374:54 is too short to try to reinvent the wheel or to learn it all by yourself so
374:56 wheel or to learn it all by yourself so the smartest thing that you can do is
374:58 the smartest thing that you can do is what is called creative imitation which
375:01 what is called creative imitation which is to go out and find what other people
375:03 is to go out and find what other people have done that works and do what they do
375:05 have done that works and do what they do until you get it to the point where you
375:07 until you get it to the point where you really know it well and then improve
375:09 really know it well and then improve upon it what I want to tell you about in
375:11 upon it what I want to tell you about in this session is a proven success method
375:14 this session is a proven success method it's a 12-step method for goal setting
375:16 it's a 12-step method for goal setting and goal achieving which I've taught to
375:18 and goal achieving which I've taught to over 100,000 people I've had many men
375:21 over 100,000 people I've had many men and women come back to me and say
375:22 and women come back to me and say they've accomplished more in a month
375:24 they've accomplished more in a month with this program than they have in a
375:26 with this program than they have in a year without it I've had people who've
375:28 year without it I've had people who've accomplished more than two or three
375:29 accomplished more than two or three years than they'd accomplished in 10 or
375:31 years than they'd accomplished in 10 or 20 years using this very simple
375:33 20 years using this very simple methodology it is a proven success
375:35 methodology it is a proven success method I urge you to try it I urge you
375:38 method I urge you to try it I urge you to use it incorporate it into your life
375:40 to use it incorporate it into your life use it as an automatic process and
375:42 use it as an automatic process and whenever you start thinking about your
375:44 whenever you start thinking about your direction your meaning your purpose
375:46 direction your meaning your purpose where you want to go sit down and work
375:48 where you want to go sit down and work it through these 12 steps until it
375:50 it through these 12 steps until it becomes automatic remember the ability
375:52 becomes automatic remember the ability to set and set goals and to make plans
375:55 to set and set goals and to make plans for their accomplishment is the master
375:57 for their accomplishment is the master skill of success which can only be learn
375:59 skill of success which can only be learn through practice and repetition over and
376:02 through practice and repetition over and over and over again now let's go to the
376:05 over and over again now let's go to the board and let's talk about these 12
376:07 board and let's talk about these 12 Steps step number one starting point of
376:10 Steps step number one starting point of all success and by the way let me step
376:11 all success and by the way let me step back just for one second we talked a
376:13 back just for one second we talked a little bit earlier about the importance
376:14 little bit earlier about the importance of the major definite purpose your major
376:17 of the major definite purpose your major definite purpose the major goal the
376:19 definite purpose the major goal the number one goal in your life and many
376:21 number one goal in your life and many people come to me and write to me and
376:22 people come to me and write to me and phone me and they say how do I pick my
376:25 phone me and they say how do I pick my major definite purpose and the only
376:27 major definite purpose and the only solution I can give you is go through
376:29 solution I can give you is go through the seven-step goal setting exercise
376:31 the seven-step goal setting exercise which we did in the previous session and
376:33 which we did in the previous session and also if you can't come up with with it
376:35 also if you can't come up with with it then make it your major definite purpose
376:37 then make it your major definite purpose to find your major definite purpose
376:39 to find your major definite purpose dwell upon your major definite purpose
376:42 dwell upon your major definite purpose ask yourself what could it be what
376:44 ask yourself what could it be what should it be what will it be what ought
376:46 should it be what will it be what ought it to be and keep running this over and
376:49 it to be and keep running this over and over in your mind seek information look
376:51 over in your mind seek information look discover and you will find that with the
376:54 discover and you will find that with the inexorability of a law of nature that
376:56 inexorability of a law of nature that your major definite purpose will come to
376:58 your major definite purpose will come to you and it'll be so clear so obvious so
377:01 you and it'll be so clear so obvious so right and it will happen in exactly the
377:03 right and it will happen in exactly the right time well this that when we talk
377:05 right time well this that when we talk about the superconscious mind a little
377:07 about the superconscious mind a little bit later but for now if you don't have
377:09 bit later but for now if you don't have a major definite purpose make finding
377:11 a major definite purpose make finding your major definite purpose your major
377:13 your major definite purpose your major definite purpose and when you do find it
377:15 definite purpose and when you do find it run it through this exercise the same
377:17 run it through this exercise the same way you would run something through a
377:18 way you would run something through a computer to get an answer out the bottom
377:20 computer to get an answer out the bottom step number one in goal setting is
377:24 step number one in goal setting is desire and the more intense the desire
377:27 desire and the more intense the desire the more burning the desire the more you
377:29 the more burning the desire the more you want something the more likely it is
377:31 want something the more likely it is that you'll accomplish it as a matter of
377:33 that you'll accomplish it as a matter of fact it's been said over and over again
377:35 fact it's been said over and over again that burning desire is the starting
377:37 that burning desire is the starting point of all great accomplishment why is
377:39 point of all great accomplishment why is that so important well burning desire is
377:42 that so important well burning desire is the desire that drives you ahead over
377:44 the desire that drives you ahead over all the difficulties disappointments
377:47 all the difficulties disappointments temporary failures obstacles because if
377:49 temporary failures obstacles because if your goal is worthy of you you're going
377:51 your goal is worthy of you you're going to fall on your face over and over and
377:53 to fall on your face over and over and over again you're going to make mistakes
377:55 over again you're going to make mistakes it's going to cost you money it's going
377:57 it's going to cost you money it's going to cost you time it's going to cost you
377:59 to cost you time it's going to cost you anxiety as a matter of fact if you're
378:00 anxiety as a matter of fact if you're not laying in bed at night staring at
378:02 not laying in bed at night staring at the ceiling with your heart pounding at
378:04 the ceiling with your heart pounding at least nights a week you're probably not
378:06 least nights a week you're probably not trying hard enough so burning desire is
378:10 trying hard enough so burning desire is the starting point of all great goal
378:12 the starting point of all great goal attainment now burning desire is always
378:15 attainment now burning desire is always personal it's always personal which
378:19 personal it's always personal which means that when it comes to setting
378:21 means that when it comes to setting goals whatever the goal is it has to be
378:23 goals whatever the goal is it has to be your goal you cannot want a goal for
378:27 your goal you cannot want a goal for someone else and someone else cannot
378:29 someone else and someone else cannot want a goal for you when we talk about
378:32 want a goal for you when we talk about desire make it first somebody says I
378:34 desire make it first somebody says I want to get a race at my job that's my
378:36 want to get a race at my job that's my goal that's setting a desire for your
378:38 goal that's setting a desire for your boss I had a young man say to me I want
378:40 boss I had a young man say to me I want to marry this particular girl that's
378:42 to marry this particular girl that's setting a goal for the girl only you can
378:45 setting a goal for the girl only you can set goals for yourself but be very
378:47 set goals for yourself but be very certain that the goals that you do set
378:49 certain that the goals that you do set are yours that the goals that you do set
378:51 are yours that the goals that you do set are ones that turn you on not goals that
378:54 are ones that turn you on not goals that somebody else wants for you or goals
378:56 somebody else wants for you or goals that you think you should do or you
378:58 that you think you should do or you ought to do or they'd be good for you to
379:00 ought to do or they'd be good for you to do think through yourself and be
379:02 do think through yourself and be perfectly honest be perfectly honest ask
379:05 perfectly honest be perfectly honest ask yourself what is it that you
379:08 yourself what is it that you want now interestingly enough it takes
379:11 want now interestingly enough it takes tremendous
379:12 tremendous courage to be perfectly honest and
379:14 courage to be perfectly honest and perfectly selfish in goal setting but if
379:16 perfectly selfish in goal setting but if you are not perfectly honest at this
379:18 you are not perfectly honest at this stage and asking yourself what you
379:19 stage and asking yourself what you really want what is it deep in your
379:22 really want what is it deep in your heart you really want to be have or do
379:24 heart you really want to be have or do if you're not honest at this stage the
379:26 if you're not honest at this stage the whole rest of the process falls apart if
379:28 whole rest of the process falls apart if you are honest at this stage it's like a
379:30 you are honest at this stage it's like a rocket launch you can go there from
379:32 rocket launch you can go there from there you can go anywhere step number
379:34 there you can go anywhere step number number two is belief remember we said
379:38 number two is belief remember we said before that your external world will
379:40 before that your external world will always be a representation of your
379:43 always be a representation of your internal world and that your internal
379:45 internal world and that your internal world is made up of your beliefs your
379:47 world is made up of your beliefs your convictions if you like another word is
379:50 convictions if you like another word is Faith it's what you believe or what you
379:53 Faith it's what you believe or what you have faith in deep down inside there's a
379:56 have faith in deep down inside there's a great uh talk by Reverend Ike where he
379:58 great uh talk by Reverend Ike where he talks about Fascination and he says that
380:01 talks about Fascination and he says that what you are fascinated by becomes your
380:04 what you are fascinated by becomes your reality because you are drawn toward it
380:06 reality because you are drawn toward it and it is drawn toward you what you
380:09 and it is drawn toward you what you believe in what you have faith in what
380:11 believe in what you have faith in what interests you what draws you what
380:13 interests you what draws you what fascinates you is critical and another
380:15 fascinates you is critical and another word is conviction you have to believe
380:18 word is conviction you have to believe that it is possible for you to
380:20 that it is possible for you to accomplish the goal you have to believe
380:22 accomplish the goal you have to believe that it is possible for you to achieve
380:24 that it is possible for you to achieve it for that reason it's very important
380:26 it for that reason it's very important that you make your goal
380:28 that you make your goal believable many people when they learn
380:31 believable many people when they learn these new ideas about goal setting they
380:33 these new ideas about goal setting they make a mistake they think wow wow I'm
380:35 make a mistake they think wow wow I'm going to go out and I'm going to make a
380:36 going to go out and I'm going to make a million dollars in a year and the fact
380:38 million dollars in a year and the fact of the matter is is that a million
380:40 of the matter is is that a million dollars if you're making whatever you're
380:42 dollars if you're making whatever you're making now to jump to a million dollars
380:44 making now to jump to a million dollars in most cases is so big that your
380:47 in most cases is so big that your conscious mind rejects it as being
380:49 conscious mind rejects it as being illogical not acceptable impossible and
380:52 illogical not acceptable impossible and if your conscious mind rejects it it
380:54 if your conscious mind rejects it it never gets to the subconscious mind
380:56 never gets to the subconscious mind remember your subconscious mind can only
380:58 remember your subconscious mind can only accept as a command something that you
381:01 accept as a command something that you totally believe in the conscious mind so
381:03 totally believe in the conscious mind so make it a believable and make it
381:05 make it a believable and make it achievable it's better to set a smaller
381:09 achievable it's better to set a smaller goal at first and accomplish that and
381:11 goal at first and accomplish that and then a larger goal and accomplish that
381:13 then a larger goal and accomplish that and a larger goal and accomplish that
381:14 and a larger goal and accomplish that for instance two examples if you want to
381:17 for instance two examples if you want to lose weight don't say I'm going to lose
381:18 lose weight don't say I'm going to lose 20 PBS or 30 pounds lose 5 pounds you
381:22 20 PBS or 30 pounds lose 5 pounds you see 5 pounds you can believe you can get
381:25 see 5 pounds you can believe you can get your mind around 5 pounds if you want to
381:26 your mind around 5 pounds if you want to increase your income increase your
381:28 increase your income increase your income by 50%
381:36 question mark plus increase your income by 50% if you're earning $10,000 a year
381:38 by 50% if you're earning $10,000 a year say my goal is to earn $155,000 a year I
381:42 say my goal is to earn $155,000 a year I earn $155,000 per year you can get your
381:45 earn $155,000 per year you can get your mind around 50% that's less than 4% a
381:48 mind around 50% that's less than 4% a month compounded you can get your mind
381:49 month compounded you can get your mind around5 pounds and as you begin to move
381:52 around5 pounds and as you begin to move your income up or begin to move your
381:53 your income up or begin to move your weight down then adjust the goal and
381:56 weight down then adjust the goal and make it five more pounds make it 50%
381:58 make it five more pounds make it 50% more and so on but keep your goals
382:00 more and so on but keep your goals believable according to the work at
382:02 believable according to the work at Harvard University your goals should
382:04 Harvard University your goals should have a 5050 probability of success 50/50
382:08 have a 5050 probability of success 50/50 probability and each goal should be
382:11 probability and each goal should be aimed at what is called your next step
382:14 aimed at what is called your next step your next logical step on the road to
382:20 accomplishment so if you want to run a marathon and you've never run before the
382:22 marathon and you've never run before the first thing is to run a mile and run a
382:24 first thing is to run a mile and run a mile without pain and then run two miles
382:26 mile without pain and then run two miles and then run three miles but to go from
382:28 and then run three miles but to go from zero to running a marathon has been
382:30 zero to running a marathon has been found to be a self-defeating exercise
382:32 found to be a self-defeating exercise it'll actually hurt you more than will
382:34 it'll actually hurt you more than will at you remember in order for a goal to
382:37 at you remember in order for a goal to unlock the motivational capacity that
382:40 unlock the motivational capacity that lies within you you must be able to
382:42 lies within you you must be able to believe that it's possible of
382:43 believe that it's possible of accomplishment so better to set it lower
382:45 accomplishment so better to set it lower to start with and then raise the
382:46 to start with and then raise the standard than set it so high that it
382:48 standard than set it so high that it defeats you right at the beginning
382:50 defeats you right at the beginning number three is write it
382:53 number three is write it down now this is very important because
382:56 down now this is very important because most people don't write their goals down
382:59 most people don't write their goals down only 3% of the population have written
383:01 only 3% of the population have written goals only 5% of goals at all only 3% of
383:05 goals only 5% of goals at all only 3% of written goals and I venture to say that
383:06 written goals and I venture to say that probably you don't have any written
383:07 probably you don't have any written goals either and if you do have written
383:09 goals either and if you do have written goals you probably don't have them
383:10 goals you probably don't have them written out in any detail write the goal
383:12 written out in any detail write the goal down remember the reasons why people
383:14 down remember the reasons why people don't set goals one of the reasons why
383:16 don't set goals one of the reasons why they don't write the goals down is that
383:17 they don't write the goals down is that when you write a goal down you make it
383:21 when you write a goal down you make it concrete suddenly your subconscious
383:24 concrete suddenly your subconscious wakes up and says ha you mean business
383:27 wakes up and says ha you mean business when you don't write it down you are
383:29 when you don't write it down you are avoiding making a commitment
383:31 avoiding making a commitment unconsciously the reason why people
383:33 unconsciously the reason why people don't write their goals down is because
383:35 don't write their goals down is because of the fear of failure the reason they
383:37 of the fear of failure the reason they don't write their goals down is they
383:38 don't write their goals down is they don't want to make a commitment to it
383:39 don't want to make a commitment to it you see if you never write it down then
383:40 you see if you never write it down then nobody can ever tell you you didn't
383:41 nobody can ever tell you you didn't accomplish it if you don't write it down
383:43 accomplish it if you don't write it down well then you're not really locked into
383:44 well then you're not really locked into anything you keep your options open if
383:46 anything you keep your options open if you like and you go on to fail and
383:48 you like and you go on to fail and underachieve in life all the successful
383:51 underachieve in life all the successful people have written goals and if you
383:53 people have written goals and if you want to be successful you really have no
383:55 want to be successful you really have no choice so write the goals down make it
383:56 choice so write the goals down make it concrete make a commitment a 100%
383:59 concrete make a commitment a 100% commitment to accomplishing your goal
384:01 commitment to accomplishing your goal will do more to drive you towards your
384:02 will do more to drive you towards your goal than you can possibly imagine now
384:04 goal than you can possibly imagine now when you write it down make it
384:06 when you write it down make it clear don't make it fuzzy so don't say I
384:08 clear don't make it fuzzy so don't say I want to be happy or I want to be rich
384:10 want to be happy or I want to be rich make it clear make it
384:13 make it clear make it specific if you want to earn a certain
384:15 specific if you want to earn a certain amount of money make it a specific
384:17 amount of money make it a specific amount of money make it after tax
384:19 amount of money make it after tax dollars if you want to start a business
384:21 dollars if you want to start a business make it a profitable business if you
384:23 make it a profitable business if you want to get into a relationship make it
384:25 want to get into a relationship make it a happy relationship but make it clear
384:28 a happy relationship but make it clear specific and use vivid words or vivid
384:32 specific and use vivid words or vivid language because the more Vivid the
384:33 language because the more Vivid the language is the more rapidly the
384:37 language is the more rapidly the subconscious accepts it emotional words
384:39 subconscious accepts it emotional words like warm exciting powerful loving happy
384:42 like warm exciting powerful loving happy Dynamic these are the kind of words that
384:44 Dynamic these are the kind of words that drive the goal into the subconscious
384:46 drive the goal into the subconscious mind it's absolutely essential that it
384:48 mind it's absolutely essential that it be a written goal this is by the way
384:51 be a written goal this is by the way where the winners part from the losers
384:55 where the winners part from the losers because the losers always have a reason
384:57 because the losers always have a reason not to write out their goals number four
385:00 not to write out their goals number four is ask yourself this critical question
385:03 is ask yourself this critical question why do you want it
385:05 why do you want it why do you want
385:07 why do you want it this is one of the most important of
385:09 it this is one of the most important of all questions because it will as it will
385:12 all questions because it will as it will answer three things first of all it will
385:14 answer three things first of all it will make sure that it's your goal and not
385:15 make sure that it's your goal and not somebody else's second of all it will
385:17 somebody else's second of all it will intensify your desire because the more
385:20 intensify your desire because the more reasons that you have these are what is
385:22 reasons that you have these are what is called your reasons why your reasons why
385:25 called your reasons why your reasons why in most cases are more important than
385:28 in most cases are more important than the goal itself the goals can change the
385:31 the goal itself the goals can change the reasons why stay the same do you want it
385:35 reasons why stay the same do you want it because it will make you happier
385:36 because it will make you happier healthier more popular do you want it
385:38 healthier more popular do you want it because it will fulfill your deepest
385:41 because it will fulfill your deepest needs it will give you a sense of
385:42 needs it will give you a sense of meaning and purpose in life why do you
385:44 meaning and purpose in life why do you want it you see if the more reasons you
385:47 want it you see if the more reasons you have to want something and if you make a
385:49 have to want something and if you make a list of them list the reasons the more
385:52 list of them list the reasons the more reasons you have the more desire you'll
385:54 reasons you have the more desire you'll have because reasons are the fuel in the
385:57 have because reasons are the fuel in the furnace of achievement reasons are the
386:00 furnace of achievement reasons are the fuel in the furnace of achievement the
386:02 fuel in the furnace of achievement the more reasons you have for accomplishing
386:04 more reasons you have for accomplishing something the more likely it is you'll
386:05 something the more likely it is you'll accomplish it for instance if you say
386:07 accomplish it for instance if you say well I like to earn $50,000 a year or
386:10 well I like to earn $50,000 a year or 30,000 or 100,000 it doesn't matter
386:12 30,000 or 100,000 it doesn't matter person says why and if you just say well
386:14 person says why and if you just say well just so that I can earn that kind of
386:16 just so that I can earn that kind of money it has almost no motivating power
386:18 money it has almost no motivating power but if you say so I could get a car so I
386:20 but if you say so I could get a car so I could take care of my family so I could
386:22 could take care of my family so I could take my wife or my husband on a trip so
386:24 take my wife or my husband on a trip so I could buy things for my children so I
386:25 I could buy things for my children so I could change my wardrobe get a different
386:27 could change my wardrobe get a different house buy a different car the more
386:29 house buy a different car the more things that you list under there the
386:31 things that you list under there the more likely it is that you're going to
386:33 more likely it is that you're going to accomplish it because when you list your
386:35 accomplish it because when you list your reasons you intensify your belief your
386:38 reasons you intensify your belief your faith and your conviction that it's
386:40 faith and your conviction that it's possible number five step in goal
386:43 possible number five step in goal setting is to analyze your
386:47 setting is to analyze your position analyze your starting point now
386:51 position analyze your starting point now this is
386:52 this is important because in analyzing your
386:54 important because in analyzing your starting point you know what your next
386:56 starting point you know what your next step is when we say analyzing our
386:58 step is when we say analyzing our starting point what do we mean well let
387:00 starting point what do we mean well let me give you a couple of examples
387:06 in analyzing your starting point you have to ask yourself what are your
387:08 have to ask yourself what are your strengths what are your basic strengths
387:10 strengths what are your basic strengths and what are your basic weaknesses what
387:12 and what are your basic weaknesses what is it that you need to learn what is it
387:14 is it that you need to learn what is it that you need to improve you see before
387:16 that you need to improve you see before you accomplish any big goals major
387:19 you accomplish any big goals major efforts are necessary before you bring
387:21 efforts are necessary before you bring about any major change in your life
387:22 about any major change in your life you're going to have to bring about
387:24 you're going to have to bring about major changes in you before you
387:27 major changes in you before you accomplish anything extraordinary you're
387:29 accomplish anything extraordinary you're going to have to do a lot of ordinary
387:31 going to have to do a lot of ordinary things so you have to ask this question
387:33 things so you have to ask this question if if you want to lose weight what's the
387:35 if if you want to lose weight what's the first thing you do is you weigh yourself
387:36 first thing you do is you weigh yourself if you want to increase your income the
387:37 if you want to increase your income the first thing you do is you figure out how
387:39 first thing you do is you figure out how much did you make last year how much you
387:40 much did you make last year how much you making right now and then if you want to
387:42 making right now and then if you want to increase your income and you're in the
387:44 increase your income and you're in the business of sales then you say how many
387:45 business of sales then you say how many calls am I making on a daily basis how
387:48 calls am I making on a daily basis how many closes am I making what is my
387:51 many closes am I making what is my average sales volume uh what is my
387:53 average sales volume uh what is my average sale how many of those do I have
387:55 average sale how many of those do I have to have how much do I have to increase
387:57 to have how much do I have to increase it and so on if you want to build a
387:59 it and so on if you want to build a bigger business you analyze your
388:00 bigger business you analyze your starting point and you say Where am I in
388:02 starting point and you say Where am I in the marketplace how am I fixing with
388:04 the marketplace how am I fixing with regard to capital resources how am I
388:06 regard to capital resources how am I fixed with regard to Manpower how am I
388:08 fixed with regard to Manpower how am I fixed with regard to Market
388:09 fixed with regard to Market opportunities and credit and you sit
388:11 opportunities and credit and you sit down and you do a very very clear
388:13 down and you do a very very clear analysis exactly the way a military
388:15 analysis exactly the way a military commander would do a strategic analysis
388:17 commander would do a strategic analysis of his or her position before a
388:19 of his or her position before a launching a major battle campaign one of
388:22 launching a major battle campaign one of the big mistakes that people make in
388:23 the big mistakes that people make in goal setting is they launch without
388:25 goal setting is they launch without taking the time to think through what
388:27 taking the time to think through what their launching pad is and when they
388:29 their launching pad is and when they find themselves driven back if you like
388:31 find themselves driven back if you like or falling on their face they don't have
388:33 or falling on their face they don't have a found Foundation underneath it so
388:35 a found Foundation underneath it so those are the six starting points
388:37 those are the six starting points determine what it is that you desire I'm
388:39 determine what it is that you desire I'm sorry the five starting points determine
388:41 sorry the five starting points determine what it is that you desire believe that
388:43 what it is that you desire believe that you can accomplish it write it down
388:45 you can accomplish it write it down determine the reasons why analyze your
388:47 determine the reasons why analyze your starting point and number
388:50 starting point and number six set a
388:53 six set a deadline set a
388:56 deadline set a deadline you see a goal without a
388:59 deadline you see a goal without a deadline is not really a goal at all a
389:01 deadline is not really a goal at all a goal without a deadline is an exercise
389:03 goal without a deadline is an exercise in self delusion so be very alert to
389:05 in self delusion so be very alert to that set a deadline on your total goal
389:08 that set a deadline on your total goal and then set many
389:09 and then set many deadlines not many but
389:12 deadlines not many but many
389:15 many so if you have a one-year goal then set
389:18 so if you have a one-year goal then set 12 one month goals WR two six months
389:22 12 one month goals WR two six months goals Four 3 month goals 12 one month
389:25 goals Four 3 month goals 12 one month goals and then four onee goals set many
389:28 goals and then four onee goals set many deadlines and establish a reward
389:31 deadlines and establish a reward schedule this is one of the most
389:34 schedule this is one of the most important findings in Psychology is
389:36 important findings in Psychology is establish a reward
389:38 establish a reward schedule is that if you will give
389:40 schedule is that if you will give yourself a small reward and we find that
389:43 yourself a small reward and we find that many many of the most successful men and
389:45 many many of the most successful men and women that we've studied have little
389:47 women that we've studied have little games with them themselves if if it's
389:49 games with them themselves if if it's nothing more than every three phone
389:50 nothing more than every three phone calls they give them a Jelly Bean or
389:52 calls they give them a Jelly Bean or every two appointments that they get
389:54 every two appointments that they get they give themselves a cup of coffee or
389:56 they give themselves a cup of coffee or a walk outside it really doesn't matter
389:58 a walk outside it really doesn't matter what it is but establish a reward
390:00 what it is but establish a reward schedule so that every time you achieve
390:02 schedule so that every time you achieve a mini deadline for a mini goal on the
390:05 a mini deadline for a mini goal on the path to your bigger goal you give
390:07 path to your bigger goal you give yourself a reward and you'll find that
390:09 yourself a reward and you'll find that people who have not been able to
390:10 people who have not been able to motivate themselves for years if they
390:12 motivate themselves for years if they have little rewards one after the other
390:15 have little rewards one after the other you see you see it's not enough to have
390:17 you see you see it's not enough to have a big reward at the end of the road as
390:19 a big reward at the end of the road as human beings we're almost like uh kids
390:22 human beings we're almost like uh kids we have to have a whole lot of little
390:23 we have to have a whole lot of little rewards on the way a whole lot of little
390:25 rewards on the way a whole lot of little jelly beans on the way to the birthday
390:26 jelly beans on the way to the birthday cake or the birthday party so set
390:28 cake or the birthday party so set yourself a reward schedule it may be
390:30 yourself a reward schedule it may be buying a new article of clothing it may
390:32 buying a new article of clothing it may be taking a trip it may be going out to
390:34 be taking a trip it may be going out to dinner it may be any anything that you
390:36 dinner it may be any anything that you like you can have little rewards for
390:39 like you can have little rewards for small achievements mediumsized rewards
390:41 small achievements mediumsized rewards for mediumsized achievements big rewards
390:43 for mediumsized achievements big rewards for big achievements and make sure that
390:45 for big achievements and make sure that that why is there because it intensifies
390:47 that why is there because it intensifies the desire it keeps up your excitement
390:49 the desire it keeps up your excitement and enthusiasm and it unconsciously
390:51 and enthusiasm and it unconsciously reinforces you and drives you forward
390:53 reinforces you and drives you forward into the next action step number seven
390:56 into the next action step number seven this is where we come down into the
390:58 this is where we come down into the planning step step number seven is this
391:00 planning step step number seven is this is
391:02 is identify the obstacles
391:05 identify the obstacles you will have to overcome identify the
391:07 you will have to overcome identify the obstacles one of the things that we know
391:10 obstacles one of the things that we know is that obstacles equal success success
391:14 is that obstacles equal success success means obstacles that there is no success
391:17 means obstacles that there is no success without obstacles as a matter of fact
391:19 without obstacles as a matter of fact obstacles come to
391:21 obstacles come to instruct not to
391:24 instruct not to obstruct instruct versus obstruct
391:27 obstruct instruct versus obstruct remember this every obstacle or
391:29 remember this every obstacle or difficulty that you meet on the way to
391:30 difficulty that you meet on the way to your goal has come to instruct you in s
391:33 your goal has come to instruct you in s in some way way so identify the
391:35 in some way way so identify the obstacles you're going to have to
391:36 obstacles you're going to have to overcome on the way to your goal one of
391:38 overcome on the way to your goal one of the things that holds people back from
391:40 the things that holds people back from great accomplishment is that they see
391:42 great accomplishment is that they see that there's an enormous number of
391:44 that there's an enormous number of obstacles that they have to overcome
391:46 obstacles that they have to overcome it's like the settlers coming across the
391:47 it's like the settlers coming across the Prairies a 100 years ago saw those
391:50 Prairies a 100 years ago saw those enormous enormous Rocky Mountains and so
391:52 enormous enormous Rocky Mountains and so how are they ever going to get through
391:54 how are they ever going to get through that massive mountain range of mountains
391:56 that massive mountain range of mountains until some of the Trappers and some of
391:58 until some of the Trappers and some of the scouts found that there were valleys
392:01 the scouts found that there were valleys that they could find that would lead
392:02 that they could find that would lead them through the mountain and all they
392:04 them through the mountain and all they needed was one Valley through one set of
392:07 needed was one Valley through one set of mountains in order to be on the other
392:08 mountains in order to be on the other side so look at identify the obstacles
392:11 side so look at identify the obstacles and then list the obstacles ask yourself
392:14 and then list the obstacles ask yourself what are all the things that are holding
392:16 what are all the things that are holding you
392:17 you back from accomplishing the goal right
392:19 back from accomplishing the goal right now why aren't you at the goal right now
392:21 now why aren't you at the goal right now you see if there aren't any obstacles
392:23 you see if there aren't any obstacles it's not a goal at all it's just an
392:24 it's not a goal at all it's just an activity so what's standing between you
392:26 activity so what's standing between you and the obstacles also be well be
392:28 and the obstacles also be well be grateful for obstacles because it's
392:30 grateful for obstacles because it's obstacles that assure that there is
392:32 obstacles that assure that there is Success at the other end where there are
392:33 Success at the other end where there are no obstacles where there are no
392:34 no obstacles where there are no difficulties where there are no
392:35 difficulties where there are no challenges to overcome there's no
392:37 challenges to overcome there's no possibility of success either then set
392:40 possibility of success either then set priorities on your obstacles in other
392:43 priorities on your obstacles in other words look at them and say of all the
392:44 words look at them and say of all the things that are standing between me and
392:46 things that are standing between me and my goal which one is number one which is
392:50 my goal which one is number one which is the number one obstacle imagine that
392:52 the number one obstacle imagine that this is you okay hope you can see that
392:55 this is you okay hope you can see that that this is you and here is your
392:58 that this is you and here is your goal well now on the way to your goal
393:00 goal well now on the way to your goal there's a road and the road twists and
393:03 there's a road and the road twists and turns and on the way to the goal there's
393:04 turns and on the way to the goal there's a little few obstacles and there's
393:06 a little few obstacles and there's pitfalls and there's dead Falls and so
393:07 pitfalls and there's dead Falls and so on but somewhere on the way to this goal
393:09 on but somewhere on the way to this goal there's also what we call the Rock now
393:12 there's also what we call the Rock now your rock is your major obstacle the
393:15 your rock is your major obstacle the rock is the major thing that is stopping
393:18 rock is the major thing that is stopping you from achieving your goal and the
393:19 you from achieving your goal and the quality and the quantity that you desire
393:22 quality and the quantity that you desire one of the most important things that
393:23 one of the most important things that you can do is ask yourself what is your
393:26 you can do is ask yourself what is your rock what is the major bowler what is
393:29 rock what is the major bowler what is the big obstruction that stops you from
393:31 the big obstruction that stops you from getting to from here to there
393:33 getting to from here to there identifying the rock is one of the marks
393:36 identifying the rock is one of the marks of the Strategic thinker and identifying
393:38 of the Strategic thinker and identifying the rock is one of the key things you do
393:40 the rock is one of the key things you do why because if you get rid of all of
393:42 why because if you get rid of all of these other little obstacles on the way
393:43 these other little obstacles on the way to the goal the rock is still going to
393:45 to the goal the rock is still going to be there and you're still not going to
393:47 be there and you're still not going to accomplish the goal if you're not very
393:48 accomplish the goal if you're not very careful if you don't set priorities on
393:50 careful if you don't set priorities on your obstacles you'll tend to work on a
393:52 your obstacles you'll tend to work on a whole lot of irrelevant things and leave
393:54 whole lot of irrelevant things and leave this rock undisturbed however the
393:56 this rock undisturbed however the intelligent person focuses on the Rock
394:00 intelligent person focuses on the Rock the intelligent person says this is the
394:01 the intelligent person says this is the major obstacle and they go to work on
394:04 major obstacle and they go to work on that rock and they work day and night
394:06 that rock and they work day and night they work as long as is necessary
394:08 they work as long as is necessary there's a beautiful expression that says
394:10 there's a beautiful expression that says swarm all over it when you have a major
394:13 swarm all over it when you have a major problem a major obstacle a major
394:15 problem a major obstacle a major difficulty that's in your way swarm all
394:17 difficulty that's in your way swarm all over it concentrate all of your effort
394:19 over it concentrate all of your effort and attention work at it day and night
394:22 and attention work at it day and night week in and week out to get rid of it
394:24 week in and week out to get rid of it because getting rid of that one obstacle
394:25 because getting rid of that one obstacle will get you further towards your goal
394:28 will get you further towards your goal than getting rid of all of the other
394:29 than getting rid of all of the other obstacles put together so in terms of
394:32 obstacles put together so in terms of your major definite purpose
394:34 your major definite purpose what is your rock what is your major
394:37 what is your rock what is your major obstacle what's stopping you from going
394:38 obstacle what's stopping you from going ahead it could be internal it could be
394:41 ahead it could be internal it could be lack of self-confidence it's very could
394:43 lack of self-confidence it's very could be self-doubt it could be fear of loss
394:45 be self-doubt it could be fear of loss it could be a lot of things that's quite
394:47 it could be a lot of things that's quite normal or it could be external it could
394:49 normal or it could be external it could be lack of money it could be lack of
394:51 be lack of money it could be lack of information or knowledge it could be
394:53 information or knowledge it could be lack of support from other people it
394:54 lack of support from other people it could be Health it could be a variety of
394:56 could be Health it could be a variety of things but whatever it is if you're
394:58 things but whatever it is if you're determined to accomplish your goal find
395:00 determined to accomplish your goal find out what it is and go to work to remove
395:02 out what it is and go to work to remove it now number eight
395:04 it now number eight is
395:06 is identify the knowledge you're going to
395:09 identify the knowledge you're going to require identify the knowledge that
395:11 require identify the knowledge that you're going to require you see we live
395:15 you're going to require you see we live in a knowledge-based society there's no
395:17 in a knowledge-based society there's no question about that is that no matter
395:20 question about that is that no matter what it is that you want to accomplish
395:21 what it is that you want to accomplish you're going to need more knowledge than
395:23 you're going to need more knowledge than you have now the basic rule of life is
395:26 you have now the basic rule of life is that to the to a greater or lesser
395:27 that to the to a greater or lesser extent you have gone as far as you can
395:30 extent you have gone as far as you can go in your life at this moment with what
395:33 go in your life at this moment with what you now know that's why I've emphasized
395:35 you now know that's why I've emphasized so strongly the need for in continuous
395:38 so strongly the need for in continuous self-development reading learning taking
395:40 self-development reading learning taking in new information because you need more
395:42 in new information because you need more knowledge now there's two ways that you
395:43 knowledge now there's two ways that you can get knowledge you can go out and get
395:45 can get knowledge you can go out and get original knowledge which is to read
395:47 original knowledge which is to read research and find it yourself or you can
395:49 research and find it yourself or you can get Knowledge from other people but in
395:51 get Knowledge from other people but in any case identify the knowledge you
395:53 any case identify the knowledge you require what do you need to
395:56 require what do you need to know for instance if you want to be
395:58 know for instance if you want to be successful in business one of the things
396:00 successful in business one of the things that you have to know is marketing and
396:02 that you have to know is marketing and sales if you want to be successful UC in
396:03 sales if you want to be successful UC in your own business the critical skill in
396:06 your own business the critical skill in entrepreneurial success is salesmanship
396:08 entrepreneurial success is salesmanship the critical skill in executive success
396:10 the critical skill in executive success is the ability to sell your ideas to
396:13 is the ability to sell your ideas to others and to persuade others so maybe
396:14 others and to persuade others so maybe what you need maybe the critical
396:16 what you need maybe the critical knowledge you need is persuasion skills
396:18 knowledge you need is persuasion skills or it could be the knowledge that you
396:20 or it could be the knowledge that you need has to do with the law it has to do
396:22 need has to do with the law it has to do with accounting has to do with
396:23 with accounting has to do with technology two points is set priorities
396:27 technology two points is set priorities on your
396:29 on your knowledge you see when you set
396:31 knowledge you see when you set priorities and you determine what's the
396:33 priorities and you determine what's the number one piece of knowledge that you
396:34 number one piece of knowledge that you need what's the one number one piece of
396:36 need what's the one number one piece of knowledge that more than anything else
396:37 knowledge that more than anything else can hold you back from accomplishing
396:40 can hold you back from accomplishing your goal and you'll find that if you
396:42 your goal and you'll find that if you concentrate on the number one piece of
396:44 concentrate on the number one piece of knowledge it's like The Rock in terms of
396:46 knowledge it's like The Rock in terms of obstacles the number one piece of
396:47 obstacles the number one piece of knowledge once acquired will catapult
396:50 knowledge once acquired will catapult you toward your goal whereas if you
396:52 you toward your goal whereas if you accomplish a whole lot of other
396:53 accomplish a whole lot of other knowledge it won't help you at all now
396:56 knowledge it won't help you at all now finally and this is the the last part
396:58 finally and this is the the last part with regard to knowledge is ask your way
396:59 with regard to knowledge is ask your way to
397:00 to success ask your way to success
397:08 this is one of the pieces of advice by a great success counselor is ask ask ask
397:12 great success counselor is ask ask ask what he said and what every person who's
397:14 what he said and what every person who's ever studied this has said is that this
397:16 ever studied this has said is that this three-letter word ask is the key to your
397:20 three-letter word ask is the key to your success in life ask the people who have
397:22 success in life ask the people who have the knowledge if you need hire the
397:24 the knowledge if you need hire the lawyers hire the Consultants hire the
397:27 lawyers hire the Consultants hire the Specialists hire the accountants ask
397:29 Specialists hire the accountants ask your way to success find other people
397:31 your way to success find other people who are in your field find people who
397:33 who are in your field find people who have success find people who are
397:34 have success find people who are experienced and go to them and ask why
397:37 experienced and go to them and ask why is it that people don't ask very simple
397:39 is it that people don't ask very simple reason most people are afraid of
397:40 reason most people are afraid of rejection but the key to getting the
397:42 rejection but the key to getting the things that you want in life is first of
397:43 things that you want in life is first of all you going have to learn it all
397:45 all you going have to learn it all yourself or second is you can ask other
397:48 yourself or second is you can ask other people and surprisingly enough if you
397:49 people and surprisingly enough if you ask other people they'll tell you if you
397:51 ask other people they'll tell you if you ask successful people what they did
397:53 ask successful people what they did right they'll tell you if you ask
397:55 right they'll tell you if you ask successful people for their advice
397:56 successful people for their advice they'll tell you as a matter of fact I
397:58 they'll tell you as a matter of fact I was studying the life of a self-made
397:59 was studying the life of a self-made millionaire and he said one of the keys
398:01 millionaire and he said one of the keys to success in business is to become a
398:03 to success in business is to become a negative thinker and I thought that was
398:05 negative thinker and I thought that was astonishing because I teach that you
398:06 astonishing because I teach that you should be a positive thinker and as I
398:07 should be a positive thinker and as I read on what he said is by that I mean
398:10 read on what he said is by that I mean is that once you come up with a great
398:12 is that once you come up with a great idea take it to experts who can tear
398:15 idea take it to experts who can tear your idea apart who can point out holes
398:18 your idea apart who can point out holes and weaknesses and flaws now if you
398:20 and weaknesses and flaws now if you cannot plug the holes weaknesses and
398:22 cannot plug the holes weaknesses and flaws it probably means the idea isn't
398:24 flaws it probably means the idea isn't good enough but if you are not willing
398:26 good enough but if you are not willing to subject your idea to the scrutiny of
398:30 to subject your idea to the scrutiny of critical people whose job is to find
398:32 critical people whose job is to find fatal flaw in something then the idea is
398:34 fatal flaw in something then the idea is probably not good enough so seeking out
398:37 probably not good enough so seeking out negative people asking people their
398:38 negative people asking people their opinion ask your way to success remember
398:41 opinion ask your way to success remember in order to succeed you need knowledge
398:43 in order to succeed you need knowledge you need more knowledge than you've got
398:45 you need more knowledge than you've got you don't have very much time you've got
398:47 you don't have very much time you've got to get the knowledge the fastest
398:49 to get the knowledge the fastest cheapest way possible if necessary buy
398:51 cheapest way possible if necessary buy the knowledge you require don't be cheap
398:53 the knowledge you require don't be cheap when it comes to knowledge number
398:55 when it comes to knowledge number nine step in goal setting is identify
398:59 nine step in goal setting is identify and ask yourself who is your
399:01 and ask yourself who is your customer who is your
399:09 customer this means that you have to identify the
399:10 identify the people the
399:13 people the groups and the
399:15 groups and the organizations whose cooperation you
399:18 organizations whose cooperation you require in order to be successful who
399:21 require in order to be successful who are the people who are the groups who
399:22 are the people who are the groups who are the organizations you see in life we
399:24 are the organizations you see in life we have a very simple equation is that
399:25 have a very simple equation is that everybody makes their living by
399:27 everybody makes their living by satisfying or serving somebody that you
399:31 satisfying or serving somebody that you and me have a customer
399:34 and me have a customer and that we move ahead in life to the
399:36 and that we move ahead in life to the degree to which we satisfy our customers
399:38 degree to which we satisfy our customers so we are all in the business of
399:40 so we are all in the business of customer satisfaction now if you work
399:42 customer satisfaction now if you work for a company your customer may be your
399:44 for a company your customer may be your boss if you're a salesperson your
399:46 boss if you're a salesperson your customer may be your boss on the inside
399:48 customer may be your boss on the inside and the person who buys your product or
399:49 and the person who buys your product or service on the outside if you're a nurse
399:51 service on the outside if you're a nurse your customer is the head nurse whoever
399:53 your customer is the head nurse whoever you are there is somebody in your
399:55 you are there is somebody in your environment if you have a business
399:56 environment if you have a business person you have to expand one of your
399:58 person you have to expand one of your customers is your Banker another one of
400:00 customers is your Banker another one of your customers is your staff your
400:02 your customers is your staff your employees another customer may be your
400:04 employees another customer may be your family but there are always people that
400:06 family but there are always people that you have to work with in order to
400:08 you have to work with in order to accomplish your goals now why should
400:10 accomplish your goals now why should people work with you in order to help
400:12 people work with you in order to help you accomplish your goals there's only
400:14 you accomplish your goals there's only one way and that is what we call the law
400:18 one way and that is what we call the law of compensation the law of compensation
400:21 of compensation the law of compensation which comes from Ralph wallow Emerson's
400:24 which comes from Ralph wallow Emerson's wonderful essay called compensation
400:26 wonderful essay called compensation simply says that for every force in life
400:29 simply says that for every force in life there's an equal and opposite Force we
400:30 there's an equal and opposite Force we call it the law of sewing and reaping
400:32 call it the law of sewing and reaping but it says this it says that you are
400:34 but it says this it says that you are always compensated in equal measure for
400:37 always compensated in equal measure for what you do in fact it always says that
400:39 what you do in fact it always says that you are compensated in more than equal
400:41 you are compensated in more than equal measure so if you sow good you reap more
400:44 measure so if you sow good you reap more good than you sow if you sow bad you
400:46 good than you sow if you sow bad you reap more bad than you sow the law of
400:49 reap more bad than you sow the law of compensation says that as long as you
400:51 compensation says that as long as you are doing good things for other people
400:53 are doing good things for other people people other people will do good things
400:55 people other people will do good things for you so you ask this question and
400:57 for you so you ask this question and this is everybody's favorite radio
400:58 this is everybody's favorite radio station it's called wi ifm what's in it
401:02 station it's called wi ifm what's in it for me
401:04 for me wi if FM what's in it for me if you want
401:07 wi if FM what's in it for me if you want to be successful in life the most
401:09 to be successful in life the most successful people are what are called
401:11 successful people are what are called go-givers as opposed to go-getters
401:14 go-givers as opposed to go-getters gogers are people who are always asking
401:17 gogers are people who are always asking what can I do to please my customers
401:19 what can I do to please my customers what can I do to give value what can I
401:22 what can I do to give value what can I do to earn their cooperation and their
401:24 do to earn their cooperation and their help to accomplish my goals they're
401:26 help to accomplish my goals they're always trying to put themselves on the
401:28 always trying to put themselves on the side of this law of compensation knowing
401:31 side of this law of compensation knowing that if they put in they'll get out all
401:34 that if they put in they'll get out all the best companies in America or Canada
401:36 the best companies in America or Canada or anywhere in the world are built on
401:37 or anywhere in the world are built on the law of compensation built on the law
401:39 the law of compensation built on the law of sewing good seed and reaping good
401:42 of sewing good seed and reaping good harvests all unsuccessful laws or all
401:45 harvests all unsuccessful laws or all unsuccessful individuals and companies
401:47 unsuccessful individuals and companies are built on the premise of taking as
401:50 are built on the premise of taking as much as you can get putting in back or
401:52 much as you can get putting in back or as little as you can put in now a second
401:55 as little as you can put in now a second law which ties in with this is what it's
401:58 law which ties in with this is what it's called The
401:59 called The Law of
402:00 Law of service the law of service says that you
402:04 service the law of service says that you will always be rewarded in life in exact
402:08 will always be rewarded in life in exact proportion to the value of your service
402:11 proportion to the value of your service to other people to your customer whoever
402:14 to other people to your customer whoever your customer or customers are the law
402:17 your customer or customers are the law of service says that your returns will
402:19 of service says that your returns will always equal your service that if you
402:21 always equal your service that if you want to increase the value of your
402:23 want to increase the value of your returns you have to increase the value
402:24 returns you have to increase the value of your service but it also says this
402:26 of your service but it also says this wonderful thing is that the great
402:28 wonderful thing is that the great satisfactions in life the great Joys
402:30 satisfactions in life the great Joys that you will enjoy in life will always
402:31 that you will enjoy in life will always come from serving other people it'll
402:33 come from serving other people it'll always come from doing a good job from
402:35 always come from doing a good job from contributing something of value to
402:37 contributing something of value to others and the more work you do on
402:39 others and the more work you do on yourself to increase the value of your
402:41 yourself to increase the value of your contribution the happier you will be and
402:44 contribution the happier you will be and the bigger your rewards will be it also
402:46 the bigger your rewards will be it also triggers the third law which is the law
402:49 triggers the third law which is the law of return the law of return says that
402:52 of return the law of return says that whatever you put in in terms of service
402:54 whatever you put in in terms of service you will get back in terms of return and
402:57 you will get back in terms of return and it brings us to one more law again from
402:59 it brings us to one more law again from Napoleon Hill called The Law of
403:02 Napoleon Hill called The Law of overcompensation the law of
403:03 overcompensation the law of overcompensation to me and to many
403:06 overcompensation to me and to many people is the key to success in life and
403:08 people is the key to success in life and it simply says this it says always do
403:12 it simply says this it says always do more than you're paid for always put in
403:14 more than you're paid for always put in more than you take out always go the
403:17 more than you take out always go the extra mile always do more than you're
403:19 extra mile always do more than you're paid for you can never be paid more than
403:21 paid for you can never be paid more than you're getting now until you do more
403:24 you're getting now until you do more than you're being paid now and you put
403:26 than you're being paid now and you put yourself on the side of the Angels when
403:28 yourself on the side of the Angels when you put in more and more than you're
403:30 you put in more and more than you're being paid for number 10
403:33 being paid for number 10 is make a
403:36 is make a plan make a plan and make the plan over
403:41 plan make a plan and make the plan over and
403:42 and over all successful men and women are
403:45 over all successful men and women are successful planners and how do you make
403:47 successful planners and how do you make a plan simple a plan is a list of
403:51 a plan simple a plan is a list of activities in other words you just
403:53 activities in other words you just identify from everything that we've
403:54 identify from everything that we've talked about what are the activities
403:56 talked about what are the activities that you have to engage in to achieve
403:58 that you have to engage in to achieve your goal and then you organize the list
404:01 your goal and then you organize the list just like a ladder you organize the list
404:03 just like a ladder you organize the list in terms of
404:05 in terms of priorities and in terms of time what you
404:07 priorities and in terms of time what you have to do first what do you have to do
404:09 have to do first what do you have to do second what's more important what's less
404:12 second what's more important what's less important and then you take action and
404:15 important and then you take action and get going on your plan and continually
404:17 get going on your plan and continually revise the plan number 11 is
404:21 revise the plan number 11 is visualization visualization is worth all
404:25 visualization visualization is worth all of the other 10 visualization is create
404:27 of the other 10 visualization is create a clear mental picture of the goal that
404:31 a clear mental picture of the goal that you desire create a clear mental picture
404:34 you desire create a clear mental picture and then
404:36 and then imagine or
404:39 imagine or image the
404:41 image the result get a clear mental picture and
404:44 result get a clear mental picture and see your goal as already realized see it
404:47 see your goal as already realized see it as a reality and play that picture over
404:49 as a reality and play that picture over and over again on the screen of your
404:52 and over again on the screen of your mind play that picture on the screen of
404:54 mind play that picture on the screen of your mind until you can see it with
404:57 your mind until you can see it with perfect clarity design it draw it out do
404:59 perfect clarity design it draw it out do whatever is necessary in order to create
405:02 whatever is necessary in order to create that metal picture and then think about
405:04 that metal picture and then think about that mental picture think about your
405:05 that mental picture think about your goal as a reality over and over again
405:08 goal as a reality over and over again repeat it until you impress it deeper
405:10 repeat it until you impress it deeper and deeper and deeper into your
405:11 and deeper and deeper into your subconscious number 12 is back your plan
405:16 subconscious number 12 is back your plan with determination and persistence back
405:19 with determination and persistence back your plan with determination and
405:21 your plan with determination and persistence in the final analysis the
405:24 persistence in the final analysis the key to your success is your ability to
405:27 key to your success is your ability to hang in longer than anybody else in all
405:31 hang in longer than anybody else in all the studies that we've looked at of when
405:33 the studies that we've looked at of when of Peak Performance we find that the
405:35 of Peak Performance we find that the quality of persistence is to the
405:37 quality of persistence is to the character of a man or woman as carbon is
405:40 character of a man or woman as carbon is to Steel that persistence is only
405:43 to Steel that persistence is only necessary when the going gets rough that
405:45 necessary when the going gets rough that persistence is only comes to the four
405:48 persistence is only comes to the four when everything falls apart around you
405:50 when everything falls apart around you and you feel like quitting that
405:51 and you feel like quitting that persistence has no value at all when
405:53 persistence has no value at all when things are going well persistence only
405:55 things are going well persistence only has value when you are willing to press
405:58 has value when you are willing to press on in the face of obstacles difficulties
406:03 on in the face of obstacles difficulties disappointments falling on your face
406:05 disappointments falling on your face losing your money and so on uh in the
406:08 losing your money and so on uh in the studies of self-made millionaires we
406:09 studies of self-made millionaires we find that the average self-made
406:10 find that the average self-made millionaire in America has been broke or
406:12 millionaire in America has been broke or nearly broke 3.2 times but irrespective
406:16 nearly broke 3.2 times but irrespective of anything that they face male or
406:18 of anything that they face male or female they kept on struggling and
406:20 female they kept on struggling and that's one of the reasons why they
406:21 that's one of the reasons why they became successful we also know this by
406:23 became successful we also know this by the way that in order for you to achieve
406:25 the way that in order for you to achieve great success you have no choice but to
406:28 great success you have no choice but to be willing to face temporary setbacks
406:31 be willing to face temporary setbacks temporary defeats temporary obstacles
406:34 temporary defeats temporary obstacles Winston Churchill in one of the great
406:35 Winston Churchill in one of the great stories of human history was asked in
406:39 stories of human history was asked in speaking to a boy school if he could
406:41 speaking to a boy school if he could summarize the lessons of his life in a
406:44 summarize the lessons of his life in a few words and he stood up and he said I
406:46 few words and he stood up and he said I could summarize the major lesson of my
406:48 could summarize the major lesson of my life in seven words he said and he stood
406:50 life in seven words he said and he stood there leaning on his Cane and he said
406:52 there leaning on his Cane and he said they are these words young man he said
406:55 they are these words young man he said never give up
406:58 never give up never never give up and I think that
407:02 never never give up and I think that more than anything else from every study
407:04 more than anything else from every study I've read That's critical if you resolve
407:06 I've read That's critical if you resolve in advance that once you have set off to
407:08 in advance that once you have set off to achieve your goal that you will never
407:10 achieve your goal that you will never give up that you will never quit that
407:12 give up that you will never quit that nothing can stop you that every single
407:15 nothing can stop you that every single difficulty will just be a Spur to drive
407:17 difficulty will just be a Spur to drive you on that you will become an inverse
407:19 you on that you will become an inverse paranoid and you look into every problem
407:22 paranoid and you look into every problem and you look for the good in the problem
407:23 and you look for the good in the problem you look for the lesson that you can
407:24 you look for the lesson that you can learn you look for the way you can turn
407:26 learn you look for the way you can turn the situation to your advantage if you
407:28 the situation to your advantage if you keep on doing that if you keep
407:30 keep on doing that if you keep optimistic if you keep this attitude of
407:33 optimistic if you keep this attitude of confident expectation going you must you
407:37 confident expectation going you must you will be successful and finally with
407:38 will be successful and finally with regard to persistence the iron quality
407:41 regard to persistence the iron quality that determines all your success let me
407:42 that determines all your success let me just say this is that your persistence
407:46 just say this is that your persistence is your measure of your belief in
407:49 is your measure of your belief in yourself your persistence is your
407:52 yourself your persistence is your measure of your belief in yourself and
407:54 measure of your belief in yourself and every time you persist in the face of
407:56 every time you persist in the face of adversity your belief in yourself
407:59 adversity your belief in yourself increases until it reaches the point
408:01 increases until it reaches the point where you become un stoppable on the
408:04 where you become un stoppable on the road and on the pathway to your
408:19 goals session 17 time management strategies at the beginning of the
408:20 strategies at the beginning of the seminar we talked about mental laws and
408:22 seminar we talked about mental laws and we talked about the law of control we
408:24 we talked about the law of control we said that you feel positive about
408:26 said that you feel positive about yourself to the degree to which you feel
408:28 yourself to the degree to which you feel you are in control of your life and you
408:30 you are in control of your life and you feel negative about yourself to the
408:31 feel negative about yourself to the degree to which you feel you are not in
408:33 degree to which you feel you are not in control or the degree to which you feel
408:34 control or the degree to which you feel you are controlled by external events
408:37 you are controlled by external events now there's no place where this is more
408:38 now there's no place where this is more important as part of the discussion than
408:41 important as part of the discussion than in the subject of time management
408:43 in the subject of time management Charles Hobbs the time management
408:45 Charles Hobbs the time management specialist has come up with a great
408:46 specialist has come up with a great definition of time management he says
408:48 definition of time management he says time management is the control of the
408:51 time management is the control of the sequence of events that most of your
408:54 sequence of events that most of your stress in life comes from a feeling that
408:56 stress in life comes from a feeling that you are out of control of the sequence
408:59 you are out of control of the sequence of events now all successful people
409:02 of events now all successful people practice good time management skills all
409:05 practice good time management skills all unsuccessful people do not period that
409:09 unsuccessful people do not period that each one of us has 24 hours a day you
409:11 each one of us has 24 hours a day you have 24 hours a day and I have 24 hours
409:13 have 24 hours a day and I have 24 hours a day yet the top 20% of every
409:16 a day yet the top 20% of every graduating class the top 20% of every
409:19 graduating class the top 20% of every industry the top 20% of every social
409:22 industry the top 20% of every social grouping accomplish and Achieve 80% of
409:25 grouping accomplish and Achieve 80% of the rewards not because they have more
409:27 the rewards not because they have more Talent not because they have more skill
409:29 Talent not because they have more skill not because they have more ability or
409:31 not because they have more ability or intelligence or education or opportunity
409:33 intelligence or education or opportunity or anything else it's because they use
409:35 or anything else it's because they use their time better we've talked
409:37 their time better we've talked throughout this course about keys to
409:39 throughout this course about keys to success we said over and over again that
409:41 success we said over and over again that one of the most important keys to
409:43 one of the most important keys to success is
409:44 success is self-discipline
409:46 self-discipline self-discipline and we know that none of
409:48 self-discipline and we know that none of us have enough self-discipline but
409:51 us have enough self-discipline but self-discipline has a specific
409:53 self-discipline has a specific application it means self-mastery it
409:56 application it means self-mastery it means many things it means keeping your
409:58 means many things it means keeping your mind on what you want and off of what
410:00 mind on what you want and off of what you don't want but it also means self
410:02 you don't want but it also means self control it means self-control in terms
410:05 control it means self-control in terms of time in terms of controlling the
410:08 of time in terms of controlling the sequence of events if you cannot master
410:11 sequence of events if you cannot master your time then the seeds of greatness
410:14 your time then the seeds of greatness are not in you if you cannot master your
410:17 are not in you if you cannot master your time then it's not likely that you'll
410:19 time then it's not likely that you'll ever accomplish what you are capable of
410:21 ever accomplish what you are capable of accomplishing in life in this session I
410:23 accomplishing in life in this session I want to give you seven keys to time
410:26 want to give you seven keys to time management now I do entire one and two
410:28 management now I do entire one and two day time management programs I can speak
410:30 day time management programs I can speak for hours on time management without
410:32 for hours on time management without referring to to a note I have studied
410:34 referring to to a note I have studied countless books I've listened to all the
410:35 countless books I've listened to all the tapes I've been to the courses I'm going
410:37 tapes I've been to the courses I'm going to give you seven keys if you will
410:39 to give you seven keys if you will follow these seven keys until they
410:41 follow these seven keys until they become automatic you can double your
410:43 become automatic you can double your time efficiency in almost no time at all
410:46 time efficiency in almost no time at all so without further Ado let's go on but
410:49 so without further Ado let's go on but remember time management is essential we
410:51 remember time management is essential we all have the same time the only question
410:53 all have the same time the only question is what do we do with the time and in
410:56 is what do we do with the time and in that and out of that comes the stuff of
410:59 that and out of that comes the stuff of Life starting point of time management
411:02 Life starting point of time management number one which I've been repeating
411:04 number one which I've been repeating over and over again is clear specific
411:07 over and over again is clear specific goals clear specific goals do you know
411:10 goals clear specific goals do you know how many people waste their time because
411:14 how many people waste their time because they do not have clear specific goals
411:16 they do not have clear specific goals they don't know what they're doing at
411:18 they don't know what they're doing at least 80% of all time wastage or more is
411:23 least 80% of all time wastage or more is because people aren't sure of what
411:25 because people aren't sure of what they're supposed to be doing they're not
411:27 they're supposed to be doing they're not sure of what they want to do and if they
411:28 sure of what they want to do and if they work for a company they're not sure of
411:30 work for a company they're not sure of what the company wants them to do as a
411:31 what the company wants them to do as a matter of fact the first thing do when I
411:32 matter of fact the first thing do when I go into a company is I say what you have
411:35 go into a company is I say what you have to do is you have to clearly Define the
411:37 to do is you have to clearly Define the expectations of each person in each
411:38 expectations of each person in each position and you know in most cases they
411:40 position and you know in most cases they are not sure how to do that clear
411:42 are not sure how to do that clear specific goals if you work for a company
411:45 specific goals if you work for a company if you work for a boss the first thing
411:46 if you work for a boss the first thing that you should do is go to your boss
411:48 that you should do is go to your boss and ask your boss exactly what he
411:50 and ask your boss exactly what he expects you to do what are the most
411:52 expects you to do what are the most important things that you have been
411:54 important things that you have been hired to accomplish clear specific goals
411:57 hired to accomplish clear specific goals defined in terms of outputs in terms of
412:02 defined in terms of outputs in terms of results what results do you want in fact
412:07 results what results do you want in fact when you set your goals you should
412:08 when you set your goals you should always ask yourself what outcomes do you
412:11 always ask yourself what outcomes do you desire rather than goals ask yourself
412:14 desire rather than goals ask yourself what outcomes now what do I mean by
412:16 what outcomes now what do I mean by outcomes well here's a perfect example
412:18 outcomes well here's a perfect example person says I want to be successful in
412:21 person says I want to be successful in my job what does that mean well what it
412:23 my job what does that mean well what it means the outcome that they desire is
412:25 means the outcome that they desire is they want interesting challenging work
412:27 they want interesting challenging work that pays well and sometimes we find
412:29 that pays well and sometimes we find ourselves working at a job where it's
412:31 ourselves working at a job where it's not interesting or challenging and we
412:32 not interesting or challenging and we can't understand why we can't get any
412:34 can't understand why we can't get any satisfaction out of it or a person says
412:36 satisfaction out of it or a person says I want my relationship to work however
412:39 I want my relationship to work however what are they saying what they're saying
412:40 what are they saying what they're saying is the outcome I desire is I want to be
412:43 is the outcome I desire is I want to be happy in my relationship and it doesn't
412:46 happy in my relationship and it doesn't matter who you're happy with if the
412:48 matter who you're happy with if the outcome is clear that you want to be
412:49 outcome is clear that you want to be happy in a relationship that's very
412:51 happy in a relationship that's very different from insisting upon being
412:53 different from insisting upon being happy in this relationship another thing
412:56 happy in this relationship another thing person say I want to be rich but you say
412:58 person say I want to be rich but you say what does rich mean what would Rich look
413:01 what does rich mean what would Rich look like what would your out come be if you
413:03 like what would your out come be if you were Rich how much would it take to
413:05 were Rich how much would it take to accomplish that outcome and then you
413:06 accomplish that outcome and then you start looking you say well if I had a
413:08 start looking you say well if I had a certain amount of money I'd be able to
413:09 certain amount of money I'd be able to do this I'd be able to do this I'd be
413:11 do this I'd be able to do this I'd be able to do this and sometimes you find
413:13 able to do this and sometimes you find that it's possible to achieve that
413:15 that it's possible to achieve that outcome without accomplishing that kind
413:17 outcome without accomplishing that kind of financial acquisition sometimes you
413:20 of financial acquisition sometimes you find you cannot achieve the outcome you
413:21 find you cannot achieve the outcome you desire in life from the work that you're
413:24 desire in life from the work that you're in so be alert to outcomes CER specific
413:26 in so be alert to outcomes CER specific goals written down step number two is
413:30 goals written down step number two is clear written plans
413:32 clear written plans as we talked about before clear written
413:35 as we talked about before clear written plans and organize your plans if you
413:39 plans and organize your plans if you like in a list of activities so that you
413:42 like in a list of activities so that you know all the things that you have to do
413:44 know all the things that you have to do these two alone taking the time to plan
413:47 these two alone taking the time to plan they say every minute spent in planning
413:49 they say every minute spent in planning will save you 5 to 15 minutes in
413:51 will save you 5 to 15 minutes in execution and action without planning is
413:55 execution and action without planning is the cause of almost every failure action
413:58 the cause of almost every failure action without planning is the cause of almost
414:01 without planning is the cause of almost every failure so clear written plans and
414:04 every failure so clear written plans and clear list of activities to work on as
414:05 clear list of activities to work on as we talked about in previous
414:07 we talked about in previous sessions step number
414:10 sessions step number three is make a
414:13 three is make a list all successful time managers work
414:17 list all successful time managers work from lists all unsuccessful people don't
414:21 from lists all unsuccessful people don't bother to write lists make a list for
414:24 bother to write lists make a list for every day make a list for every week
414:27 every day make a list for every week make a list for every month be a chronic
414:31 make a list for every month be a chronic list maker when you have a series of
414:33 list maker when you have a series of things to do the first thing you do is
414:34 things to do the first thing you do is grab a piece of paper and write a list
414:36 grab a piece of paper and write a list think on paper all good time managers
414:38 think on paper all good time managers think on paper they make a list of
414:40 think on paper they make a list of everything that has to be done they
414:41 everything that has to be done they don't try to carry it around in their
414:43 don't try to carry it around in their minds consolidate all of your thinking
414:45 minds consolidate all of your thinking if you have to accomplish something
414:46 if you have to accomplish something write down every single thing that
414:47 write down every single thing that you're going to have to do in order to
414:48 you're going to have to do in order to accomplish it and then begin working on
414:51 accomplish it and then begin working on your list call it a to-do list by the
414:54 your list call it a to-do list by the way the best time to make a daily list
414:56 way the best time to make a daily list is the night before because if you make
414:57 is the night before because if you make a list the night before the subconscious
414:59 a list the night before the subconscious goes to work on it while you're asleep
415:01 goes to work on it while you're asleep and in the morning sometimes the
415:02 and in the morning sometimes the subconscious has organized it processed
415:05 subconscious has organized it processed it and gives it back to you and solves
415:07 it and gives it back to you and solves problems for you while you're asleep
415:09 problems for you while you're asleep step number four once you've made a list
415:11 step number four once you've made a list and this is the key to time management
415:13 and this is the key to time management is set priorities you see there's never
415:15 is set priorities you see there's never enough time to do everything if you're
415:17 enough time to do everything if you're living A busy life but there's always
415:19 living A busy life but there's always enough time to do the important things
415:21 enough time to do the important things if you can decide what they are setting
415:24 if you can decide what they are setting priorities means using the 8020 rule the
415:27 priorities means using the 8020 rule the 8020 rule says that 80% of the value of
415:29 8020 rule says that 80% of the value of what you do comes from 20% of what do if
415:33 what you do comes from 20% of what do if you have a list of 10 things to do that
415:35 you have a list of 10 things to do that two of those things will be worth all
415:37 two of those things will be worth all the rest put together setting priorities
415:39 the rest put together setting priorities means always looking at what is called
415:41 means always looking at what is called the vital few versus the trivial many
415:45 the vital few versus the trivial many the vital few versus the trivial many
415:47 the vital few versus the trivial many the one or two things that you can do
415:49 the one or two things that you can do that make a real difference now most
415:51 that make a real difference now most people waste their time not because
415:53 people waste their time not because they're not working hard or not because
415:54 they're not working hard or not because they're not busy is because they're
415:55 they're not busy is because they're working on the trivial many no matter
415:57 working on the trivial many no matter how many of them they do it doesn't make
415:58 how many of them they do it doesn't make any difference the truly successful
416:01 any difference the truly successful people do few things they do the right
416:04 people do few things they do the right things they do things one at a time and
416:06 things they do things one at a time and they stay with them until they're
416:08 they stay with them until they're complete so set priorities a very simple
416:11 complete so set priorities a very simple time management system is what is called
416:12 time management system is what is called the ABCDE system the ABCDE is very
416:17 the ABCDE system the ABCDE is very simple a stands for top priority tasks
416:20 simple a stands for top priority tasks number one must be done B is secondary
416:23 number one must be done B is secondary priority tasks things that should be
416:25 priority tasks things that should be done C are not particularly important
416:27 done C are not particularly important tasks which could be done if you have
416:29 tasks which could be done if you have enough time after you've done your A's
416:31 enough time after you've done your A's and B's and D is delegate and E is
416:34 and B's and D is delegate and E is eliminate then what you do is you take
416:36 eliminate then what you do is you take and you list all of your a goals from
416:39 and you list all of your a goals from your list and then you WR write A1 which
416:41 your list and then you WR write A1 which is the most important of all and then
416:43 is the most important of all and then you write A2 which is the second a goal
416:45 you write A2 which is the second a goal and so on and then you begin to work and
416:48 and so on and then you begin to work and you work on your A1 and you never work
416:50 you work on your A1 and you never work on an A2 or a B of any order until your
416:52 on an A2 or a B of any order until your A1 is complete very simple now here's
416:55 A1 is complete very simple now here's the key question for time management
416:57 the key question for time management this can be worth a fortune to you it's
416:59 this can be worth a fortune to you it's been worth a fortune to me ask yourself
417:01 been worth a fortune to me ask yourself over and over again repeat it and repeat
417:03 over and over again repeat it and repeat it and repeat it until it rings in the
417:05 it and repeat it until it rings in the back of your brain what is the most
417:07 back of your brain what is the most valuable use of my time right now what
417:10 valuable use of my time right now what is the most valuable use of my time
417:13 is the most valuable use of my time right now what is the most valuable use
417:16 right now what is the most valuable use of my time right now every time before
417:18 of my time right now every time before you start any new task ask yourself this
417:21 you start any new task ask yourself this question and then discipline yourself to
417:24 question and then discipline yourself to do only what is the most valuable use of
417:27 do only what is the most valuable use of your time
417:28 your time remember Benjamin Franklin had a
417:30 remember Benjamin Franklin had a beautiful line he said do you value life
417:34 beautiful line he said do you value life then waste not time for it is the stuff
417:37 then waste not time for it is the stuff of which life is
417:38 of which life is made if you are not working on the most
417:41 made if you are not working on the most valuable use of your time just exchange
417:44 valuable use of your time just exchange the word time for life and say what is
417:48 the word time for life and say what is the most valuable use of my life right
417:50 the most valuable use of my life right now and remember if you are working on a
417:53 now and remember if you are working on a second order priority you are relatively
417:56 second order priority you are relatively speaking wasting your time and wasting
418:00 speaking wasting your time and wasting your life number F five is
418:06 your life number F five is concentration of power again a beautiful
418:09 concentration of power again a beautiful word from Charles
418:11 word from Charles Hobbs concentration of power means that
418:15 Hobbs concentration of power means that you do first things first and second
418:18 you do first things first and second things not at all do first things
418:21 things not at all do first things first and stay with them until they're
418:24 first and stay with them until they're complete surprisingly enough in the
418:27 complete surprisingly enough in the studies of every effective man or woman
418:29 studies of every effective man or woman whose lifestyle has been examined we
418:31 whose lifestyle has been examined we find they are always doing first things
418:33 find they are always doing first things first they do things one at a time and
418:36 first they do things one at a time and they stay with them until they are 100%
418:40 they stay with them until they are 100% complete they don't do a lot of things
418:44 complete they don't do a lot of things but they do the most important things
418:46 but they do the most important things they do them right and they carry them
418:48 they do them right and they carry them through to completion you know one of
418:50 through to completion you know one of the most valuable attributes of
418:52 the most valuable attributes of executive life is the ability to carry a
418:55 executive life is the ability to carry a task through to completion so once it's
418:57 task through to completion so once it's been assigned to you the person who's
418:58 been assigned to you the person who's assigned it to you never has to think
419:01 assigned it to you never has to think about it again
419:03 about it again concentration and single handling single
419:05 concentration and single handling single handling means once You' picked it up
419:07 handling means once You' picked it up don't put it down most of our time
419:09 don't put it down most of our time wastage comes from picking up things and
419:11 wastage comes from picking up things and putting them down and starting them over
419:13 putting them down and starting them over and putting them down and starting them
419:14 and putting them down and starting them over and putting them down so
419:16 over and putting them down so concentrate single-mindedly 100% stay
419:19 concentrate single-mindedly 100% stay with it until it's finished as in my
419:22 with it until it's finished as in my estimation the ability to concentrate is
419:25 estimation the ability to concentrate is one of the most important abilities of
419:26 one of the most important abilities of success because no success is possible
419:29 success because no success is possible unless you can concentrate
419:30 unless you can concentrate single-mindedly on your most important
419:32 single-mindedly on your most important task number
419:34 task number six number six is overcome
419:37 six number six is overcome procrastination overcome procrastination
419:40 procrastination overcome procrastination it's not the thief of time it's the
419:41 it's not the thief of time it's the thief of life and the way that you
419:43 thief of life and the way that you overcome procrastination is by using
419:45 overcome procrastination is by using affirmations and the most powerful
419:47 affirmations and the most powerful affirmation of all is do it now do it
419:51 affirmation of all is do it now do it now W Clement Stone built a billion
419:53 now W Clement Stone built a billion dollar Fortune by rehearsing and then
419:55 dollar Fortune by rehearsing and then getting everybody in his company to say
419:57 getting everybody in his company to say 50 times every morning do it now do it
420:01 50 times every morning do it now do it now do it now now do it now do it now
420:04 now do it now now do it now do it now drive that impress that into your mind
420:06 drive that impress that into your mind when I first learned this simple
420:08 when I first learned this simple technique I used to find myself
420:10 technique I used to find myself procrastinating just like we all do but
420:12 procrastinating just like we all do but the more I repeated this do it now do it
420:14 the more I repeated this do it now do it now do it now do it now do it now do it
420:16 now do it now do it now do it now do it now the more you repeat it the more you
420:18 now the more you repeat it the more you find that eventually it works
420:20 find that eventually it works automatically and it has a tendency to
420:22 automatically and it has a tendency to drive you to start a task when your
420:24 drive you to start a task when your natural tendency is to put it off or
420:26 natural tendency is to put it off or procrastinate the most important quality
420:29 procrastinate the most important quality that you can develop with regard to this
420:31 that you can develop with regard to this is what is called a sense of urgency a
420:34 is what is called a sense of urgency a sense of urgency means that you get on
420:36 sense of urgency means that you get on with it and you do the job fast we said
420:39 with it and you do the job fast we said earlier that time is your most precious
420:42 earlier that time is your most precious resource time is the scarcest and most
420:44 resource time is the scarcest and most precious resource of accomplishment in
420:47 precious resource of accomplishment in our civilization and that people who
420:49 our civilization and that people who have a sense of urgency are always the
420:52 have a sense of urgency are always the most valued people in our society
420:54 most valued people in our society develop what is called fast tempo fast
420:58 develop what is called fast tempo fast tempo is essential to success fast tempo
421:02 tempo is essential to success fast tempo is essential to success what that means
421:06 is essential to success what that means is that the harder and the faster you
421:08 is that the harder and the faster you work the more energy you have the harder
421:10 work the more energy you have the harder and the faster you work the more drive
421:13 and the faster you work the more drive you have the more you get accomplished
421:15 you have the more you get accomplished the more you get accomplished by the way
421:16 the more you get accomplished by the way the more tasks you conclude the more
421:19 the more tasks you conclude the more energy and self-esteem you have because
421:21 energy and self-esteem you have because every time you finish a task you get a
421:22 every time you finish a task you get a jolt of positive energy every time you
421:25 jolt of positive energy every time you procrastinate on a task it tires you out
421:28 procrastinate on a task it tires you out and makes you depressed so whenever you
421:30 and makes you depressed so whenever you find yourself procrastinating say to me
421:32 find yourself procrastinating say to me say to yourself I have to develop a
421:34 say to yourself I have to develop a sense of urgency I have to develop a
421:35 sense of urgency I have to develop a sense of urgency do it now do it now do
421:38 sense of urgency do it now do it now do it now and then work fast work fast work
421:41 it now and then work fast work fast work quick you will find that if you will
421:43 quick you will find that if you will just pick up your Tempo you can get to a
421:45 just pick up your Tempo you can get to a Tempo that will enable you to go through
421:47 Tempo that will enable you to go through more in two hours and the average person
421:49 more in two hours and the average person goes through in an entire
421:51 goes through in an entire day in a study done by h a Business
421:55 day in a study done by h a Business Journal amongst 104 chief executive
421:58 Journal amongst 104 chief executive officers in of major American
422:00 officers in of major American corporations not long ago they found a
422:02 corporations not long ago they found a interesting thing they asked them what
422:03 interesting thing they asked them what qualities would put a person most
422:05 qualities would put a person most rapidly onto the fast track in their
422:07 rapidly onto the fast track in their corporations they said the two most
422:09 corporations they said the two most qualities 84% of them agreed the two
422:11 qualities 84% of them agreed the two most important qualities number one the
422:13 most important qualities number one the ability to set priorities number two is
422:15 ability to set priorities number two is a sense of urgency to get on with it and
422:17 a sense of urgency to get on with it and get the job done and number seven the
422:20 get the job done and number seven the seventh key to success is balance keep
422:23 seventh key to success is balance keep your life in Balance make sure that you
422:26 your life in Balance make sure that you take time every day to spend with the
422:28 take time every day to spend with the people who are close to you make sure
422:30 people who are close to you make sure that you take time every day to think
422:32 that you take time every day to think through your values what is it that you
422:34 through your values what is it that you really care about why are you doing what
422:36 really care about why are you doing what you're doing what is it that you believe
422:38 you're doing what is it that you believe in that is relevant and who are the
422:40 in that is relevant and who are the people that you love who are the people
422:42 people that you love who are the people that you care about and who care about
422:44 that you care about and who care about you keep your life in Balance don't let
422:47 you keep your life in Balance don't let it get all work don't let it get all
422:49 it get all work don't let it get all play don't let it get all anything keep
422:51 play don't let it get all anything keep your life in Balance spend time with the
422:53 your life in Balance spend time with the people that you care about work hard
422:55 people that you care about work hard when you work play hard when you play
422:58 when you work play hard when you play manage your time well control the
423:01 manage your time well control the sequence of EV and you can become
423:03 sequence of EV and you can become anything that you want to
423:32 become Brian Tracy [Music]
423:44 [Music] Phoenix and in the next module I'm going
423:47 Phoenix and in the next module I'm going to tell you why and how this
423:56 works session 19 tapping your inner genius another reason that I can say
423:58 genius another reason that I can say with complete confidence that you are a
424:00 with complete confidence that you are a genius is that you have access to a mind
424:03 genius is that you have access to a mind that is far greater than anything that
424:05 that is far greater than anything that you could ever devise or develop on your
424:07 you could ever devise or develop on your own throughout all of human history
424:09 own throughout all of human history going back 4,000 years to the ancient
424:11 going back 4,000 years to the ancient Egyptian writings there has been
424:13 Egyptian writings there has been discussion of mankind having access to a
424:16 discussion of mankind having access to a greater mind and this mind has been
424:17 greater mind and this mind has been called things like the universal
424:19 called things like the universal subconscious mind or the uh Collective
424:23 subconscious mind or the uh Collective unconscious or the superconscious
424:25 unconscious or the superconscious Napoleon Hill calls it infinite
424:26 Napoleon Hill calls it infinite intelligence Ralph Waldo Emerson says we
424:29 intelligence Ralph Waldo Emerson says we lie in the lap of an immense
424:30 lie in the lap of an immense intelligence like a cork floating in the
424:33 intelligence like a cork floating in the ocean and that we have access to this
424:35 ocean and that we have access to this intelligence at any time to bring us the
424:37 intelligence at any time to bring us the answers we need and to solve the
424:38 answers we need and to solve the problems that face us Carl Young called
424:41 problems that face us Carl Young called it the superconscious mind the mind that
424:43 it the superconscious mind the mind that is above other minds and we call it for
424:46 is above other minds and we call it for the purposes of this talk we called the
424:49 the purposes of this talk we called the superconscious you have a superconscious
424:52 superconscious you have a superconscious mind which you use in a random and
424:54 mind which you use in a random and halfhazard way all the time as a matter
424:56 halfhazard way all the time as a matter of fact your superconscious mind is the
424:58 of fact your superconscious mind is the source of all inspiration it's the
425:00 source of all inspiration it's the source of motiv a it's the source of
425:03 source of motiv a it's the source of enthusiasm it's the source of excitement
425:05 enthusiasm it's the source of excitement it's the source of hunches it's the
425:07 it's the source of hunches it's the source of insights it's the source of
425:08 source of insights it's the source of flashes of intuition it's a source of
425:11 flashes of intuition it's a source of creativity and Innovation it's the
425:13 creativity and Innovation it's the source of all brand new ideas or
425:16 source of all brand new ideas or thoughts or information that come into
425:18 thoughts or information that come into the world for instance Mozart was able
425:21 the world for instance Mozart was able to hear in a single second he was able
425:24 to hear in a single second he was able to hear an entire concerto an entire
425:26 to hear an entire concerto an entire Symphony would be come into his mind
425:28 Symphony would be come into his mind complete in one instant and all he would
425:31 complete in one instant and all he would do was sit and transcribe it and write
425:33 do was sit and transcribe it and write it out of his mind on the paper they
425:35 it out of his mind on the paper they said that he used to write his music
425:37 said that he used to write his music note perfect the first time Beethoven
425:40 note perfect the first time Beethoven came up with one of his great concerts
425:42 came up with one of his great concerts or his great symphonies in a single
425:44 or his great symphonies in a single instant although it took him six weeks
425:46 instant although it took him six weeks to write it down the entire concert was
425:49 to write it down the entire concert was perfect complete in his mind in a second
425:52 perfect complete in his mind in a second many of the Great Inventions many of the
425:54 many of the Great Inventions many of the great discoveries many of the Great
425:55 great discoveries many of the Great breakthroughs in history in literature
425:58 breakthroughs in history in literature in art in music have been the result of
426:00 in art in music have been the result of a flash that has come in a moment of
426:03 a flash that has come in a moment of daydreaming while asleep while in the
426:05 daydreaming while asleep while in the middle of a conversation and you have
426:07 middle of a conversation and you have access to this mind as well let me tell
426:10 access to this mind as well let me tell you some of the characteristics of the
426:12 you some of the characteristics of the superconscious Mind as I said imagine
426:14 superconscious Mind as I said imagine you have your intelligence which is your
426:16 you have your intelligence which is your IQ your knowledge your experience your
426:17 IQ your knowledge your experience your wisdom and so on but in addition to that
426:20 wisdom and so on but in addition to that you are a genius because you have access
426:22 you are a genius because you have access to this incredible mind that has every
426:25 to this incredible mind that has every idea and every bit of intelligence ever
426:28 idea and every bit of intelligence ever known or available to the universe is
426:30 known or available to the universe is available to you at virtually every
426:32 available to you at virtually every instant of time the discovery of the
426:35 instant of time the discovery of the superconscious and your understanding of
426:37 superconscious and your understanding of the superconscious can and will change
426:40 the superconscious can and will change your life the superconscious mind or
426:42 your life the superconscious mind or superconscious capacity makes your
426:44 superconscious capacity makes your capacities unlimited you are no longer
426:47 capacities unlimited you are no longer restricted to what you know what you can
426:50 restricted to what you know what you can access what you can do physically and
426:51 access what you can do physically and mentally you have an external source
426:53 mentally you have an external source that you can draw on like an energy
426:55 that you can draw on like an energy source to bring you answers to your
426:58 source to bring you answers to your questions and to move you towards your
426:59 questions and to move you towards your goals now one of the characteristics of
427:02 goals now one of the characteristics of the superconscious mind for instance
427:03 the superconscious mind for instance that when it computes on a problem or a
427:06 that when it computes on a problem or a difficulty that you have it has access
427:08 difficulty that you have it has access to all data stored in your subconscious
427:10 to all data stored in your subconscious mind it takes access to all data stored
427:13 mind it takes access to all data stored in the subconscious that means
427:14 in the subconscious that means everything that you've ever learned in
427:16 everything that you've ever learned in your life every bit of information
427:18 your life every bit of information you've ever read every experience you've
427:20 you've ever read every experience you've had every conversation every movie
427:22 had every conversation every movie television Radio Magazine it's all
427:24 television Radio Magazine it's all stored in your subconscious mind
427:26 stored in your subconscious mind permanently as they say we have
427:28 permanently as they say we have permanent memory but we have lousy
427:30 permanent memory but we have lousy recall every experence you've ever had
427:32 recall every experence you've ever had in your life has been permanently stored
427:34 in your life has been permanently stored however when the superconscious Mind
427:36 however when the superconscious Mind calculates or computes it has access to
427:38 calculates or computes it has access to everything you've ever learned however
427:40 everything you've ever learned however it can discriminate between valid and
427:43 it can discriminate between valid and invalid data in other words when
427:46 invalid data in other words when you when the superconscious mind
427:49 you when the superconscious mind computes on a problem that you are
427:50 computes on a problem that you are working with it will give you an answer
427:53 working with it will give you an answer that is based only on valid information
427:55 that is based only on valid information there are many things that you have in
427:56 there are many things that you have in your mind which you can think to be true
427:57 your mind which you can think to be true but they're not true at all you may have
427:59 but they're not true at all you may have read them you may have heard them you
428:00 read them you may have heard them you may have surmised them or concluded that
428:02 may have surmised them or concluded that a certain thing was true but the
428:04 a certain thing was true but the superconscious in bringing you an answer
428:06 superconscious in bringing you an answer knows the difference between what is
428:08 knows the difference between what is true and what is not true sometimes
428:10 true and what is not true sometimes you'll come up with an idea or a
428:11 you'll come up with an idea or a solution that will seem to be
428:12 solution that will seem to be inconsistent with what you thought was
428:14 inconsistent with what you thought was the truth or what you thought was
428:15 the truth or what you thought was reality but when you pursue it a little
428:17 reality but when you pursue it a little bit you'll find that what you thought
428:19 bit you'll find that what you thought was true was not true and your answer is
428:21 was true was not true and your answer is correct now a second characteristic of
428:23 correct now a second characteristic of the superconscious mind is it has access
428:25 the superconscious mind is it has access to data outside your experience it has
428:28 to data outside your experience it has access to data outside outside your
428:32 access to data outside outside your experience that means that you can get
428:37 experience that means that you can get answers outside your own experience you
428:40 answers outside your own experience you don't have to know everything or have
428:41 don't have to know everything or have everything in your mind that it has
428:43 everything in your mind that it has access to data it can bring you ideas
428:45 access to data it can bring you ideas information and insights for instance
428:47 information and insights for instance with regard to this we reckon in
428:50 with regard to this we reckon in calculating that every single person has
428:53 calculating that every single person has on the way to and from work about four
428:55 on the way to and from work about four ideas per year is the estimate done by
428:57 ideas per year is the estimate done by one researcher four ideas per year any
429:00 one researcher four ideas per year any one of which could make you a
429:01 one of which could make you a millionaire you'll be driving along how
429:03 millionaire you'll be driving along how many times have you had the experience
429:04 many times have you had the experience were you're driving along are you going
429:06 were you're driving along are you going about your day-to-day business and you
429:08 about your day-to-day business and you see the need for a product or a service
429:10 see the need for a product or a service and you say now why doesn't somebody do
429:11 and you say now why doesn't somebody do that or why doesn't somebody make that
429:13 that or why doesn't somebody make that or sell that and you say well must be a
429:16 or sell that and you say well must be a good reason and you forget all about it
429:17 good reason and you forget all about it then a year or two later somebody comes
429:19 then a year or two later somebody comes out with that same product or service
429:21 out with that same product or service and makes a million dollars and you say
429:23 and makes a million dollars and you say I thought of that I thought of that a
429:25 I thought of that I thought of that a couple of years ago the difference was
429:27 couple of years ago the difference was that the person who came up with the
429:28 that the person who came up with the idea may have come up with it the same
429:30 idea may have come up with it the same time you did maybe you tapped into this
429:31 time you did maybe you tapped into this energy source simultaneously but that
429:34 energy source simultaneously but that person had confidence or faith in their
429:37 person had confidence or faith in their ideas and you did not there's a funny
429:40 ideas and you did not there's a funny line from Groucho marks and grouo marks
429:41 line from Groucho marks and grouo marks once said I would never join a club that
429:44 once said I would never join a club that would have a person like me for a member
429:46 would have a person like me for a member very often we turn down our own ideas
429:49 very often we turn down our own ideas because there are ideas we say that's my
429:51 because there are ideas we say that's my idea it can't be any good listen to the
429:54 idea it can't be any good listen to the ideas that come to you on a day-to-day
429:56 ideas that come to you on a day-to-day basis because very often if one of your
429:58 basis because very often if one of your goals is to Achieve Financial
429:59 goals is to Achieve Financial Independence this mind will send send
430:01 Independence this mind will send send you the ideas that you need to Achieve
430:03 you the ideas that you need to Achieve Financial Independence here's the third
430:06 Financial Independence here's the third characteristic of the superconscious
430:07 characteristic of the superconscious mind is it functions on a non-conscious
430:09 mind is it functions on a non-conscious basis 24 hours a day it functions 24
430:13 basis 24 hours a day it functions 24 hours per day when you are going about
430:15 hours per day when you are going about your normal business that means that
430:17 your normal business that means that once you have programmed a goal or a
430:21 once you have programmed a goal or a problem or a difficulty or any question
430:23 problem or a difficulty or any question at all into the superconscious by
430:25 at all into the superconscious by thinking about it dwelling upon it
430:27 thinking about it dwelling upon it getting it clearly defined in your mind
430:29 getting it clearly defined in your mind you can put it aside and go with the
430:31 you can put it aside and go with the rest of your work and what will happen
430:33 rest of your work and what will happen is that it will compute and compute and
430:36 is that it will compute and compute and work and then it will bring you exactly
430:38 work and then it will bring you exactly the answer you need we'll come to that
430:40 the answer you need we'll come to that in a second in a second the
430:41 in a second in a second the superconscious Mind automatically and
430:44 superconscious Mind automatically and continuously solves every problem on the
430:46 continuously solves every problem on the way to your goal automatically and
430:50 way to your goal automatically and continuously solves every
430:58 problem put a line here solves every problem
431:01 problem that's why you don't have to be able to
431:02 that's why you don't have to be able to see your
431:04 see your goal you only have to take the first
431:07 goal you only have to take the first step and E you take each step and
431:10 step and E you take each step and resolve the difficulty that is
431:11 resolve the difficulty that is immediately facing you in the Bible this
431:13 immediately facing you in the Bible this beautiful line that says this one thing
431:16 beautiful line that says this one thing I do forsaking all others if you just do
431:19 I do forsaking all others if you just do one thing the superconscious will
431:22 one thing the superconscious will resolve the next and the next and the
431:24 resolve the next and the next and the next you take them one step at a time
431:25 next you take them one step at a time like a hurdler takes one hurdle at a
431:27 like a hurdler takes one hurdle at a time like a journey is one step at a
431:29 time like a journey is one step at a time the superconscious mind will
431:31 time the superconscious mind will automatically and continuously solve
431:33 automatically and continuously solve every problem on the path to your goal
431:35 every problem on the path to your goal exactly as you meet it and exactly in
431:37 exactly as you meet it and exactly in the way you require now the fifth
431:39 the way you require now the fifth quality of the superconscious mind is
431:41 quality of the superconscious mind is that it is capable of goal oriented
431:46 that it is capable of goal oriented motivation sometimes people say well I'm
431:48 motivation sometimes people say well I'm not motivated and invariably when you
431:50 not motivated and invariably when you talk to a person who is not motivated
431:52 talk to a person who is not motivated you find that there's nothing that they
431:54 you find that there's nothing that they want very badly when you decide upon a
431:56 want very badly when you decide upon a goal or an objective something you want
431:58 goal or an objective something you want to be have or do the superconscious mind
432:01 to be have or do the superconscious mind releases motivation it is the
432:03 releases motivation it is the superconscious mind that gives you the
432:05 superconscious mind that gives you the energy and the enthusiasm and the
432:07 energy and the enthusiasm and the excitement that moves you toward it but
432:09 excitement that moves you toward it but it pre requires a goal that you
432:12 it pre requires a goal that you intensely desire that's why we talked so
432:14 intensely desire that's why we talked so much about goals in this course goal
432:15 much about goals in this course goal oriented motivation it releases ideas
432:18 oriented motivation it releases ideas and energy for goal
432:20 and energy for goal attainment the superconscious mind is a
432:23 attainment the superconscious mind is a source of what is called free energy in
432:27 source of what is called free energy in other words you can actually tap into
432:29 other words you can actually tap into this energy and when you're excited
432:31 this energy and when you're excited about a goal it doesn't matter how
432:32 about a goal it doesn't matter how physically fatigued you are you seem to
432:34 physically fatigued you are you seem to be able to tap into a source of energy
432:37 be able to tap into a source of energy outside yourself that can run you and
432:39 outside yourself that can run you and Propel you sometimes day after day week
432:42 Propel you sometimes day after day week after week on only a few hours sleep at
432:43 after week on only a few hours sleep at night everybody's had the experience of
432:45 night everybody's had the experience of being caught up and involved in
432:46 being caught up and involved in something that's really important really
432:48 something that's really important really exciting really driving requiring
432:50 exciting really driving requiring tremendous commitment and you just have
432:52 tremendous commitment and you just have energy flowing continuously Nicola Tesla
432:55 energy flowing continuously Nicola Tesla the great electrical genius was actually
432:57 the great electrical genius was actually able to tap this free energy to run the
432:59 able to tap this free energy to run the electric lights and the electric uh
433:02 electric lights and the electric uh appliances in his home in a way that we
433:04 appliances in his home in a way that we still don't understand but in order for
433:06 still don't understand but in order for in order for goal oriented motivation to
433:09 in order for goal oriented motivation to be released by The superconscious you
433:11 be released by The superconscious you must have
433:12 must have clear specific goals this is the key the
433:16 clear specific goals this is the key the goals must be
433:18 goals must be clear clear specific goals are what
433:21 clear clear specific goals are what release this motivation there's an old
433:23 release this motivation there's an old saying which is a little bit trit it
433:25 saying which is a little bit trit it says feeling listless make a list what
433:28 says feeling listless make a list what it means is if you're feeling listless
433:29 it means is if you're feeling listless and you make a list of 10 things that
433:31 and you make a list of 10 things that you want to accomplish in the next year
433:33 you want to accomplish in the next year you will find that just writing that
433:34 you will find that just writing that list of 10 things will give you a jolt
433:36 list of 10 things will give you a jolt of energy almost like a Detonator going
433:38 of energy almost like a Detonator going off now a sixth characteristic of the
433:40 off now a sixth characteristic of the superconscious mind is that it responds
433:43 superconscious mind is that it responds to clear authoritative commands responds
433:46 to clear authoritative commands responds to
433:47 to clear authoritative commands now what
433:50 clear authoritative commands now what are clear authoritative
433:52 are clear authoritative commands well one example of clear
433:54 commands well one example of clear authoritative commands is positive
433:59 authoritative commands is positive affirmations whenever you use a positive
434:02 affirmations whenever you use a positive affirmation whenever you say I earn X
434:04 affirmation whenever you say I earn X number of dollars I weigh X number of
434:06 number of dollars I weigh X number of pounds I like myself I am responsible I
434:09 pounds I like myself I am responsible I feel terrific whenever you use these
434:11 feel terrific whenever you use these commands and you emotionalize the
434:13 commands and you emotionalize the commands that's why they must be
434:14 commands that's why they must be authoritative and they must be
434:16 authoritative and they must be emotionalized you drive this message
434:19 emotionalized you drive this message from the conscious into the subconscious
434:21 from the conscious into the subconscious and the subconscious accesses the
434:24 and the subconscious accesses the superconscious so emotionalize your
434:27 superconscious so emotionalize your words use Clear authoritative commands
434:29 words use Clear authoritative commands and every time you use a clear
434:31 and every time you use a clear authoritative command it drives the idea
434:34 authoritative command it drives the idea deeper it activates your superconscious
434:37 deeper it activates your superconscious abilities it also responds to
434:41 abilities it also responds to decisiveness it's very
434:43 decisiveness it's very interesting there's an expression which
434:45 interesting there's an expression which I like to share with you and it's simply
434:47 I like to share with you and it's simply this it is get
434:50 this it is get serious I have met men and women all
434:53 serious I have met men and women all over the country over the last few years
434:55 over the country over the last few years and I noticed there's an interesting
434:56 and I noticed there's an interesting thing that successful people say when I
434:58 thing that successful people say when I ask them how did you come to become so
435:01 ask them how did you come to become so successful I mean what was the turning
435:02 successful I mean what was the turning point where where did it change you know
435:04 point where where did it change you know the words they use over and over again
435:05 the words they use over and over again are these they say well I finally
435:06 are these they say well I finally decided to get serious I finally decided
435:09 decided to get serious I finally decided to get serious you see we talked earlier
435:11 to get serious you see we talked earlier about desire and decision that there's a
435:13 about desire and decision that there's a lot of people have desires a lot of
435:14 lot of people have desires a lot of people want things and they want to be
435:16 people want things and they want to be things and they want things to change
435:17 things and they want things to change for them they want things to be better
435:19 for them they want things to be better but they never make the decision to do
435:21 but they never make the decision to do something they are going to make the
435:22 something they are going to make the decision and they hope to make the
435:24 decision and they hope to make the decision and they plan to make the
435:25 decision and they plan to make the decision but they just haven't quite
435:27 decision but they just haven't quite gotten around to it yet and an important
435:29 gotten around to it yet and an important part of this is commitment I can put
435:32 part of this is commitment I can put this down here is that nothing great in
435:34 this down here is that nothing great in life happens until you make a commitment
435:37 life happens until you make a commitment and a commitment means you decide to do
435:39 and a commitment means you decide to do one thing to the exclusion of almost
435:42 one thing to the exclusion of almost everything else you get serious you make
435:44 everything else you get serious you make a total commitment and when you take
435:46 a total commitment and when you take that make that total commitment when you
435:48 that make that total commitment when you become decisive when you start using
435:50 become decisive when you start using clear positive words I will do it I do
435:53 clear positive words I will do it I do do it I can I shall I choose I want I
435:56 do it I can I shall I choose I want I earn I am when you start using commands
435:59 earn I am when you start using commands like this you trigger the superconscious
436:01 like this you trigger the superconscious mind and sometimes more can happen for
436:02 mind and sometimes more can happen for you in a matter of a few weeks than it's
436:04 you in a matter of a few weeks than it's happened for you in a few years and many
436:06 happened for you in a few years and many of you know exactly what I'm talking
436:07 of you know exactly what I'm talking about numers number seven the
436:10 about numers number seven the superconscious mind in a way is like a
436:12 superconscious mind in a way is like a muscle it
436:14 muscle it grows in
436:27 in it grows in capability as it is used and believed in that means that you can
436:29 and believed in that means that you can actually get it to the point as I have
436:31 actually get it to the point as I have in my own life as many of my graduates
436:33 in my own life as many of my graduates have you can get it to the point where
436:35 have you can get it to the point where you're plugged into this superconscious
436:37 you're plugged into this superconscious mind continuously and you just go with
436:39 mind continuously and you just go with the flow of life that all the things
436:41 the flow of life that all the things that you require the answers that you
436:43 that you require the answers that you need the solutions the people the
436:45 need the solutions the people the circumstances will be drawn into your
436:47 circumstances will be drawn into your life in exactly the order exactly the
436:49 life in exactly the order exactly the sequence that you require and the people
436:51 sequence that you require and the people that you don't need the circumstances
436:52 that you don't need the circumstances that are old the circumstan have nothing
436:54 that are old the circumstan have nothing to do with where you're going they fall
436:56 to do with where you're going they fall off as exactly as they're no longer
436:58 off as exactly as they're no longer needed and the more you use it the more
437:01 needed and the more you use it the more you believe in it the more you trust to
437:02 you believe in it the more you trust to it the more rapidly and dependably and
437:05 it the more rapidly and dependably and predictably it works now let me tell you
437:07 predictably it works now let me tell you this in all my studying of the
437:09 this in all my studying of the biographies and autobiographies of great
437:11 biographies and autobiographies of great men and women I found one thing is that
437:13 men and women I found one thing is that you only begin to become great as a
437:16 you only begin to become great as a human being to the degree to which you
437:19 human being to the degree to which you tap into and go with the flow of this
437:22 tap into and go with the flow of this superconscious energy other than that
437:24 superconscious energy other than that life is always a struggle but once you
437:26 life is always a struggle but once you get into the flow of this energy life
437:29 get into the flow of this energy life seems to be on the downhill side you
437:31 seems to be on the downhill side you seem to be going with the current a an
437:34 seem to be going with the current a an eighth characteristic is that the
437:35 eighth characteristic is that the superconscious Mind functions best or
437:38 superconscious Mind functions best or operates best with an attitude of
437:41 operates best with an attitude of confident expectations operates best
437:44 confident expectations operates best with an
437:45 with an attitude of confident
437:49 attitude of confident expectations you see confident
437:51 expectations you see confident expectations is an attitude of positive
437:53 expectations is an attitude of positive emotion when we talked about before
437:56 emotion when we talked about before becoming an inverse paranoid always
437:58 becoming an inverse paranoid always looking for the good always expecting
438:00 looking for the good always expecting the best always believing trusting being
438:02 the best always believing trusting being absolutely convinced that something good
438:03 absolutely convinced that something good is going to come out of everything that
438:05 is going to come out of everything that happens to you this attitude of
438:06 happens to you this attitude of confident expectation seems to be what
438:09 confident expectation seems to be what puts your the foot on the accelerator of
438:11 puts your the foot on the accelerator of the superconscious mind and bring things
438:13 the superconscious mind and bring things brings things into your life and people
438:15 brings things into your life and people and what you need into your life faster
438:17 and what you need into your life faster and faster and
438:19 and faster and faster another characteristic of the
438:21 faster another characteristic of the superconscious mind uh number nine is
438:25 superconscious mind uh number nine is that it operates best under two
438:27 that it operates best under two conditions
438:33 operates best under two
438:40 conditions uh condition number one is when you are concentrating 100% of your
438:44 when you are concentrating 100% of your time and attention on the problem 100%
438:47 time and attention on the problem 100% concentration on the
438:55 problem and the other time when it works best is when you are concentrating 0%
438:58 best is when you are concentrating 0% when your mind is busy elsewhere
439:08 those are the two things but somehow the superconscious Mind does not function in
439:11 superconscious Mind does not function in between so the key or the solution to
439:14 between so the key or the solution to activating the superconscious mind is to
439:16 activating the superconscious mind is to try consciously to solve the problem now
439:19 try consciously to solve the problem now here is a very simple way to do it you
439:21 here is a very simple way to do it you start to solve the problem by number one
439:23 start to solve the problem by number one defining clearly what it is Define your
439:25 defining clearly what it is Define your problem or Define your goal write it
439:27 problem or Define your goal write it down discuss it get it very clear in
439:29 down discuss it get it very clear in your mind what is it that you're trying
439:31 your mind what is it that you're trying to achieve avoid or preserve number two
439:35 to achieve avoid or preserve number two is do some research gather information
439:38 is do some research gather information look around read talk to people go to
439:41 look around read talk to people go to the library call people who know call
439:43 the library call people who know call experts or Authorities on the subject
439:46 experts or Authorities on the subject get as much information as you possibly
439:47 get as much information as you possibly can almost all good decision- making
439:50 can almost all good decision- making comes from getting information I've had
439:51 comes from getting information I've had experiences where I have had a clearly
439:53 experiences where I have had a clearly defined problem or situation and as I'm
439:56 defined problem or situation and as I'm thinking about I say where can I get
439:57 thinking about I say where can I get some information and bang the name of a
439:59 some information and bang the name of a person you may not have spoken to for a
440:00 person you may not have spoken to for a year will pop into your mind you pick up
440:03 year will pop into your mind you pick up the telephone you call them up and you
440:04 the telephone you call them up and you say hi I'm thinking of doing this or not
440:07 say hi I'm thinking of doing this or not doing this what do you think about that
440:09 doing this what do you think about that and they have exactly the piece of
440:11 and they have exactly the piece of information that you need to do it or
440:13 information that you need to do it or not do it be very very alert to that the
440:16 not do it be very very alert to that the third thing that you do is you try
440:17 third thing that you do is you try consciously to solve the problem now
440:19 consciously to solve the problem now that you've got the information you
440:20 that you've got the information you asked questions you've done the reading
440:22 asked questions you've done the reading and the research you've got clear in
440:23 and the research you've got clear in your mind you try as hard as you
440:25 your mind you try as hard as you possibly can with your conscious mind to
440:27 possibly can with your conscious mind to solve the problem and if that doesn't
440:29 solve the problem and if that doesn't work then you simply turn it over to the
440:31 work then you simply turn it over to the superconscious Mind almost as though you
440:33 superconscious Mind almost as though you are submitting it to a large computer
440:35 are submitting it to a large computer turn it over to the superconscious mind
440:37 turn it over to the superconscious mind and get your mind busy elsewhere get
440:39 and get your mind busy elsewhere get your mind busy doing something else and
440:41 your mind busy doing something else and just get on with something else
440:43 just get on with something else completely for instance we'll talk about
440:45 completely for instance we'll talk about this you could work on another project
440:47 this you could work on another project go for a walk do physical exercise go
440:49 go for a walk do physical exercise go out for dinner get your mind busy
440:51 out for dinner get your mind busy elsewhere and at exactly the right time
440:53 elsewhere and at exactly the right time what will happen is that the answer will
440:55 what will happen is that the answer will come to you it'll just suddenly be there
440:59 come to you it'll just suddenly be there which brings us to another
441:00 which brings us to another characteristic of the
441:01 characteristic of the superconscious and it is this is that
441:03 superconscious and it is this is that the superconscious mind and this is
441:05 the superconscious mind and this is number 10 the superconscious Mind brings
441:08 number 10 the superconscious Mind brings you exactly the answer you require at
441:11 you exactly the answer you require at exactly the right time for you brings
441:14 exactly the right time for you brings you exactly the answer you require at
441:17 you exactly the answer you require at exactly the right
441:19 exactly the right time now one important point with regard
441:22 time now one important point with regard to superconscious creativity is that
441:25 to superconscious creativity is that when you get this answer at exactly the
441:27 when you get this answer at exactly the right time you must act immediately a
441:30 right time you must act immediately a super conscious answer is time
441:33 super conscious answer is time dated that
441:40 means that it may if you get the answer on Thursday at noon at 12:00 the answer
441:43 on Thursday at noon at 12:00 the answer may not be valid at 9:00 on Thursday it
441:45 may not be valid at 9:00 on Thursday it may not be valid at 3:00 on Thursday so
441:48 may not be valid at 3:00 on Thursday so when you get the answer when it comes
441:49 when you get the answer when it comes into your mind that this is what you
441:51 into your mind that this is what you should do and you'll feel a very very
441:52 should do and you'll feel a very very strong feeling of rightness about a
441:55 strong feeling of rightness about a superconscious solution act immediately
441:57 superconscious solution act immediately sometime you'd be working on a problem
441:59 sometime you'd be working on a problem have you ever had this situation you
442:00 have you ever had this situation you work on a problem and and you get this
442:02 work on a problem and and you get this feeling you should phone somebody and
442:03 feeling you should phone somebody and you say I should phone so and so but
442:05 you say I should phone so and so but I'll do it later and you do it later the
442:08 I'll do it later and you do it later the next day or the next week and you call
442:09 next day or the next week and you call them up and they say I wish you'd phone
442:12 them up and they say I wish you'd phone me last week because I had exactly the
442:14 me last week because I had exactly the answer you needed or I had the person or
442:16 answer you needed or I had the person or I had the situation or I had the job for
442:18 I had the situation or I had the job for you and so on so when you get this I
442:20 you and so on so when you get this I know a man who built a billion- Dollar
442:22 know a man who built a billion- Dollar business and he built a billion doll
442:23 business and he built a billion doll business by fully understanding what
442:25 business by fully understanding what we're talking about here and doing just
442:27 we're talking about here and doing just one thing very limited business Acumen
442:30 one thing very limited business Acumen but always followed his superconscious
442:32 but always followed his superconscious instincts whatever he felt was the right
442:34 instincts whatever he felt was the right thing to do at any instant he acted
442:36 thing to do at any instant he acted immediately he immediately took action
442:39 immediately he immediately took action and his action orientation was enough
442:42 and his action orientation was enough for him to open doors of opportunity to
442:44 for him to open doors of opportunity to get feedback and information to
442:46 get feedback and information to self-correct to draw to himself the
442:48 self-correct to draw to himself the people that he needed to um maximize the
442:50 people that he needed to um maximize the opportunities and so on and he went from
442:52 opportunities and so on and he went from selling cars to a billion dollar
442:54 selling cars to a billion dollar business in less than 10 years simply by
442:56 business in less than 10 years simply by following his superconscious intuition
442:59 following his superconscious intuition and following it Contin ously now
443:01 and following it Contin ously now another characteristic of the
443:02 another characteristic of the superconscious
443:03 superconscious mind is that it will um bring you the
443:08 mind is that it will um bring you the experiences you need to be successful it
443:11 experiences you need to be successful it brings
443:12 brings you the experiences you need to be
443:15 you the experiences you need to be successful this is one of the most
443:17 successful this is one of the most incredible things I've ever found in my
443:19 incredible things I've ever found in my life brings you the experiences you you
443:22 life brings you the experiences you you need to be successful and it'll bring
443:25 need to be successful and it'll bring you a whole
443:31 bunch of a different experiences now imagine that this is you here all right
443:34 imagine that this is you here all right and let's say that you decide that you
443:36 and let's say that you decide that you want to increase your income by 50% a
443:39 want to increase your income by 50% a year for the next 5 years let us say
443:41 year for the next 5 years let us say over the course of your lifetime you
443:42 over the course of your lifetime you decide you want to become financially
443:44 decide you want to become financially independent well now you normally if
443:45 independent well now you normally if you're working at a job or in a field
443:48 you're working at a job or in a field your line of sight as they say is that
443:50 your line of sight as they say is that you will somehow find a way to do it in
443:53 you will somehow find a way to do it in your existing field within your existing
443:55 your existing field within your existing experience and knowledge however once
443:56 experience and knowledge however once you have set this clear goal in your
443:59 you have set this clear goal in your mind once you have this idea of what
444:01 mind once you have this idea of what your goal or your star is as you start
444:04 your goal or your star is as you start off you'll often find that your life
444:06 off you'll often find that your life will go into a almost like a crazy
444:08 will go into a almost like a crazy obstacle course it'll seem to go through
444:10 obstacle course it'll seem to go through a whole series of of convolutions over
444:13 a whole series of of convolutions over and over and very often you will find a
444:15 and over and very often you will find a year two years 5 years you will find
444:18 year two years 5 years you will find your goal in a totally different place
444:20 your goal in a totally different place doing something totally different
444:22 doing something totally different something you never expected in studying
444:24 something you never expected in studying self-made millionaires in America we
444:26 self-made millionaires in America we find that almost half of them made their
444:28 find that almost half of them made their fortunes doing something totally
444:30 fortunes doing something totally different from what they started off
444:31 different from what they started off doing is as they moved down the road of
444:34 doing is as they moved down the road of Life they found there was an
444:35 Life they found there was an insurmountable obstacle or barrier in
444:38 insurmountable obstacle or barrier in that direction the market collapsed the
444:40 that direction the market collapsed the technology changed the interest rates
444:42 technology changed the interest rates went up it didn't matter what it was and
444:44 went up it didn't matter what it was and they found that they had to change
444:45 they found that they had to change course and change direction and they had
444:47 course and change direction and they had to go over a hurdle now imagine that
444:49 to go over a hurdle now imagine that you're running a race and you have to go
444:50 you're running a race and you have to go over a hurdle and each one of these
444:51 over a hurdle and each one of these hurdles big hurdles and small hurdles
444:54 hurdles big hurdles and small hurdles when you look back on it and look back
444:57 when you look back on it and look back on anything that you've ever
444:58 on anything that you've ever accomplished it's required a tremendous
445:00 accomplished it's required a tremendous amount of of time and effort and as you
445:02 amount of of time and effort and as you look back you will say you will see that
445:05 look back you will say you will see that a whole series of different things
445:07 a whole series of different things happen to you that looked like setbacks
445:09 happen to you that looked like setbacks at the time but in retrospect you say
445:12 at the time but in retrospect you say wasn't it good that that happened cuz if
445:14 wasn't it good that that happened cuz if that hadn't happened then this wouldn't
445:15 that hadn't happened then this wouldn't have happened and this wouldn't happened
445:16 have happened and this wouldn't happened that wouldn't have happened and so on
445:18 that wouldn't have happened and so on and you'll find that your whole life is
445:19 and you'll find that your whole life is a series of remarkable coincidences that
445:23 a series of remarkable coincidences that initially look like difficulties or
445:25 initially look like difficulties or setbacks but in retrospect they
445:27 setbacks but in retrospect they contained within them valuable lessons
445:29 contained within them valuable lessons that you needed to learn
445:30 that you needed to learn in order to achieve the goals that
445:32 in order to achieve the goals that you've achieved perfect example in
445:34 you've achieved perfect example in relationships when we start going out
445:36 relationships when we start going out with members of the opposite sex when
445:37 with members of the opposite sex when we're growing up we have a lot of
445:39 we're growing up we have a lot of relationships that don't work out trial
445:41 relationships that don't work out trial and error we experiment we learn what
445:43 and error we experiment we learn what it's like to get along with other people
445:44 it's like to get along with other people and not to get along and we think at the
445:46 and not to get along and we think at the time that relationships are not working
445:47 time that relationships are not working out that this is a terrible situation
445:49 out that this is a terrible situation it's very emotionally stressful but then
445:51 it's very emotionally stressful but then when we finally find a relationship
445:53 when we finally find a relationship that's right for us we look back and we
445:54 that's right for us we look back and we say boy wasn't it good that we had all
445:57 say boy wasn't it good that we had all those difficult problems because if we
445:58 those difficult problems because if we hadn't we'd have never reached the point
446:00 hadn't we'd have never reached the point where I am now which is being in the
446:02 where I am now which is being in the relationship that you wanted I think the
446:04 relationship that you wanted I think the way they say it is you have to kiss a
446:05 way they say it is you have to kiss a lot of horny toads before you meet the
446:06 lot of horny toads before you meet the handsome prince uh or princess so each
446:10 handsome prince uh or princess so each time we go over one of these lessons we
446:12 time we go over one of these lessons we learn a valuable each time we go over
446:14 learn a valuable each time we go over one of these hurdles we learn a valuable
446:15 one of these hurdles we learn a valuable lesson now let me tell you this too is
446:18 lesson now let me tell you this too is that very often your greatest success
446:20 that very often your greatest success comes just before or just after I'm
446:23 comes just before or just after I'm sorry your greatest failure in Napoleon
446:26 sorry your greatest failure in Napoleon Hill's study of over 500 successful men
446:29 Hill's study of over 500 successful men and women he found that almost every one
446:31 and women he found that almost every one of them had faced their greatest failure
446:34 of them had faced their greatest failure the point where they felt they should
446:35 the point where they felt they should have quit there was no point in going on
446:37 have quit there was no point in going on everybody else told them it was
446:39 everybody else told them it was ridiculous at that point they persisted
446:41 ridiculous at that point they persisted a little bit further and Wham they made
446:44 a little bit further and Wham they made the greatest success you notice Thomas
446:46 the greatest success you notice Thomas Edison one of the greatest inventors of
446:47 Edison one of the greatest inventors of the century was broke or nearly broke
446:50 the century was broke or nearly broke many times Henry Ford went bankrupt
446:52 many times Henry Ford went bankrupt almost three times uh in the course of
446:54 almost three times uh in the course of building his fortune many of the most
446:56 building his fortune many of the most successful men and women have fallen on
446:58 successful men and women have fallen on their faces over and over over and over
447:01 their faces over and over over and over again until they have finally arrived
447:04 again until they have finally arrived where they wanted to arrive now what
447:05 where they wanted to arrive now what does this mean it means that you have to
447:08 does this mean it means that you have to adopt the attitude that every single
447:11 adopt the attitude that every single time you run into a roadblock every
447:13 time you run into a roadblock every single time you fall down every single
447:15 single time you fall down every single time you lose some money you lose some
447:17 time you lose some money you lose some emotion you lose some time as a result
447:20 emotion you lose some time as a result of a temporary setback you have to
447:22 of a temporary setback you have to believe that this has been sent to you
447:24 believe that this has been sent to you as a valuable experience that is moving
447:26 as a valuable experience that is moving you toward accomplishing your good and
447:29 you toward accomplishing your good and here is a very very simple technique
447:31 here is a very very simple technique that you can use and I call it the movie
447:34 that you can use and I call it the movie technique all right now imagine that you
447:37 technique all right now imagine that you go to the movie and you get there and
447:40 go to the movie and you get there and you're very it's very very late all
447:43 you're very it's very very late all right and you get in and they let you
447:45 right and you get in and they let you get in even though it's toward the end
447:46 get in even though it's toward the end of the picture and the new picture is
447:47 of the picture and the new picture is going to be starting in a little while
447:49 going to be starting in a little while and you go in and you watch the last 10
447:51 and you go in and you watch the last 10 minutes so we call this the last 10
447:53 minutes so we call this the last 10 minute technique all right you watch the
447:56 minute technique all right you watch the last 10
447:58 last 10 minutes you see how the movie ends you
448:01 minutes you see how the movie ends you see how everything comes together you
448:03 see how everything comes together you see how the hero advances you see how
448:06 see how the hero advances you see how everybody achieves you see how it all
448:07 everybody achieves you see how it all falls together and everybody ends up
448:09 falls together and everybody ends up happy and so on now having seen the last
448:12 happy and so on now having seen the last 10 minutes you then sit through the
448:14 10 minutes you then sit through the whole movie however now you sit through
448:16 whole movie however now you sit through the whole movie and you see the uh the
448:18 the whole movie and you see the uh the danger the drama uh the tragedy the
448:20 danger the drama uh the tragedy the unhappiness you see the
448:21 unhappiness you see the misunderstandings and so on however you
448:23 misunderstandings and so on however you see as you watch the movie You Know How
448:26 see as you watch the movie You Know How It Ends you know that there's a happy
448:28 It Ends you know that there's a happy ending cuz you've seen the last 10
448:30 ending cuz you've seen the last 10 minutes now this is the critical
448:31 minutes now this is the critical attitude as you look at the difficulties
448:33 attitude as you look at the difficulties that you face on a day-to-day basis have
448:36 that you face on a day-to-day basis have this attitude that these are just what
448:38 this attitude that these are just what happens but in the last 10 minutes
448:40 happens but in the last 10 minutes everything comes out right and you
448:41 everything comes out right and you achieve your goal so take a look and
448:43 achieve your goal so take a look and take this philosophic attitude toward
448:45 take this philosophic attitude toward every difficulty as this is this is part
448:47 every difficulty as this is this is part of the movie but I know that in the last
448:49 of the movie but I know that in the last 10 minutes it's all result just pretend
448:51 10 minutes it's all result just pretend that you already know the end of the
448:53 that you already know the end of the picture and that pretending will make
448:56 picture and that pretending will make the movie come out exactly as you desire
448:59 the movie come out exactly as you desire and probably better for for you number
449:01 and probably better for for you number 12 the superconscious Mind makes all
449:04 12 the superconscious Mind makes all your words and actions makes your words
449:08 your words and actions makes your words what you say and your
449:11 what you say and your actions and their effects and this is
449:14 actions and their effects and this is the critical word and their
449:17 the critical word and their effects in other
449:19 effects in other words the result of your words and
449:22 words the result of your words and actions fit a pattern
449:24 actions fit a pattern consistent with your self-concept and
449:27 consistent with your self-concept and your dominant goals fit a pattern
449:29 your dominant goals fit a pattern consistent
449:35 with your self-concept and your dominant
449:38 self-concept and your dominant goals what does that mean that means
449:41 goals what does that mean that means that the subconscious mind which is a
449:44 that the subconscious mind which is a mechanical part of your thinking makes
449:46 mechanical part of your thinking makes your words and actions fit a pattern
449:47 your words and actions fit a pattern consistent with your self-concept if you
449:49 consistent with your self-concept if you feel good about yourself your words and
449:51 feel good about yourself your words and actions will be consistent with that if
449:52 actions will be consistent with that if you feel negative or tired or fatigued
449:54 you feel negative or tired or fatigued your words and actions will be
449:55 your words and actions will be consistent with that however the
449:57 consistent with that however the superconscious Mind once you have
449:58 superconscious Mind once you have planted it with a very clear goal or set
450:00 planted it with a very clear goal or set of instructions will make your words and
450:02 of instructions will make your words and actions and the effect of those words
450:04 actions and the effect of those words and actions conspire together to bring
450:06 and actions conspire together to bring you toward your goal you've all had
450:08 you toward your goal you've all had experiences where in the middle of a
450:09 experiences where in the middle of a conversation you will something will
450:11 conversation you will something will just pop out of your mouth and you'll
450:13 just pop out of your mouth and you'll just say it and you never thought to say
450:14 just say it and you never thought to say it and it will turn out to be exactly
450:17 it and it will turn out to be exactly the right thing to say in that situation
450:19 the right thing to say in that situation it may be in a in in a date with a
450:22 it may be in a in in a date with a member of the opposite sex it may be in
450:23 member of the opposite sex it may be in a business medum maybe on a sales call
450:26 a business medum maybe on a sales call but you'll find that you'll just
450:27 but you'll find that you'll just naturally say exactly the thing or the
450:30 naturally say exactly the thing or the words that are appropriate for the
450:31 words that are appropriate for the situation and you'll find that if you
450:33 situation and you'll find that if you just trust to this and you have this
450:35 just trust to this and you have this feeling that you should say something or
450:37 feeling that you should say something or let me tell you this also every so often
450:39 let me tell you this also every so often you'll be in a conversation where you're
450:40 you'll be in a conversation where you're planning to say something you're
450:41 planning to say something you're planning to bring out a particular Point
450:43 planning to bring out a particular Point you're planning to make a particular
450:44 you're planning to make a particular presentation but something inside you
450:46 presentation but something inside you will be saying no it'll be blocking it
450:48 will be saying no it'll be blocking it or the other person will keep saying
450:50 or the other person will keep saying things that stop you from making this
450:51 things that stop you from making this what you do then is a superconscious
450:53 what you do then is a superconscious Mind Is Telling You don't say this
450:54 Mind Is Telling You don't say this because it's not consistent with your
450:56 because it's not consistent with your ultimate aims and desires so whenever
450:58 ultimate aims and desires so whenever you feel that you're you're not sure
451:00 you feel that you're you're not sure whether or not you should say something
451:01 whether or not you should say something or bring something up the best rule is
451:04 or bring something up the best rule is don't do it at all just hold off and
451:06 don't do it at all just hold off and you'll find out it was the best thing to
451:08 you'll find out it was the best thing to do now there's two words by the way that
451:11 do now there's two words by the way that which are very popular today one is
451:13 which are very popular today one is called Serendipity
451:15 called Serendipity Serendipity is the process of making
451:18 Serendipity is the process of making happy
451:19 happy discoveries it's found that there are
451:21 discoveries it's found that there are certain people who have the capacity to
451:24 certain people who have the capacity to always find the things they need the
451:26 always find the things they need the people they need they find the book they
451:28 people they need they find the book they need the the particular spice they need
451:30 need the the particular spice they need the particular piece of cloth or
451:31 the particular piece of cloth or furniture and so on but they're always
451:34 furniture and so on but they're always stumbling across the things that they
451:36 stumbling across the things that they need and there this is called
451:38 need and there this is called Serendipity or serendipitous Behavior
451:40 Serendipity or serendipitous Behavior the interesting point is when we've
451:42 the interesting point is when we've discovered people when we when we we've
451:44 discovered people when we when we we've studied people who have the
451:45 studied people who have the serendipitous uh capacity we find that
451:48 serendipitous uh capacity we find that the discoveries that they make are all
451:49 the discoveries that they make are all consistent with goals that they have set
451:51 consistent with goals that they have set in other words you only find things when
451:53 in other words you only find things when you're looking for things that people
451:55 you're looking for things that people don't make happy discoveries unless they
451:57 don't make happy discoveries unless they are looking for something to contribute
451:59 are looking for something to contribute toward their goal their goals and
452:00 toward their goal their goals and there's another word called
452:01 there's another word called synchronicity and
452:03 synchronicity and synchronicity is the process or The
452:06 synchronicity is the process or The Coincidence of
452:13 events where two or three things that are totally unrelated happen
452:15 are totally unrelated happen simultaneously and we call this
452:17 simultaneously and we call this synchronicity or or synchronizing of
452:19 synchronicity or or synchronizing of events and the interesting and only
452:22 events and the interesting and only factor in synchronicity is that all
452:24 factor in synchronicity is that all three of the events conspire together to
452:26 three of the events conspire together to help you achieve your goal now there's
452:28 help you achieve your goal now there's some interesting work done on
452:29 some interesting work done on synchronicity it says that there is a
452:31 synchronicity it says that there is a higher order or a higher organization of
452:35 higher order or a higher organization of events where events are organized on the
452:37 events where events are organized on the basis of meaning and the meaning that
452:40 basis of meaning and the meaning that they have the significance that they
452:42 they have the significance that they have is defined by you and what your
452:45 have is defined by you and what your goals are so very often you'll get a
452:47 goals are so very often you'll get a phone call read a book hear about an
452:49 phone call read a book hear about an article and visit a person and all of
452:51 article and visit a person and all of those simultaneously will come together
452:53 those simultaneously will come together to bring you what you're after be very
452:56 to bring you what you're after be very alert to these two Happening Now number
452:58 alert to these two Happening Now number 13 is the superconscious ious mind
453:00 13 is the superconscious ious mind contains all monitor
453:02 contains all monitor circuits contains all monitor circuits
453:04 circuits contains all monitor circuits that means that you can pre-program the
453:06 that means that you can pre-program the superconscious mind and it will work for
453:09 superconscious mind and it will work for you two ways that people pre-program the
453:12 you two ways that people pre-program the superconscious mind all the time is
453:13 superconscious mind all the time is parking spaces many people find that by
453:17 parking spaces many people find that by confidently expecting there to be a
453:18 confidently expecting there to be a parking space wherever they're going
453:19 parking space wherever they're going there always is that you can pre-program
453:21 there always is that you can pre-program your mind sometimes 10 out of 10 20 out
453:24 your mind sometimes 10 out of 10 20 out of 20 to get a parking space even on a
453:26 of 20 to get a parking space even on a busy street even in a busy shopping
453:28 busy street even in a busy shopping center and if if you get there and
453:30 center and if if you get there and they're all full you'll find that
453:31 they're all full you'll find that somebody is holding your space and they
453:33 somebody is holding your space and they back out just as you arrive just as you
453:36 back out just as you arrive just as you pull up you'll find that their tail
453:37 pull up you'll find that their tail lights will go on and they'll back up
453:39 lights will go on and they'll back up not one car earlier not one car later
453:41 not one car earlier not one car later but exactly where you are I thousands of
453:44 but exactly where you are I thousands of people come back to me and say that
453:45 people come back to me and say that after learning this they get parking
453:47 after learning this they get parking spaces wherever they want the key is you
453:49 spaces wherever they want the key is you must believe that it works if you don't
453:50 must believe that it works if you don't believe that it works it doesn't work
453:51 believe that it works it doesn't work for you the second is uh waking up there
453:54 for you the second is uh waking up there are many people who wake
453:57 are many people who wake up with no uh alarm clock many people
454:00 up with no uh alarm clock many people don't need alarm clock at all I haven't
454:02 don't need alarm clock at all I haven't used an alarm clock for years why you
454:04 used an alarm clock for years why you can just program your mind to wake up
454:05 can just program your mind to wake up almost to the minute any given time all
454:07 almost to the minute any given time all you have to do is do this three times
454:09 you have to do is do this three times you'll develop the habit for life and by
454:10 you'll develop the habit for life and by the way this is something the alarm
454:11 the way this is something the alarm clock industry keeps quite secret mind
454:14 clock industry keeps quite secret mind you because nobody needs an alarm clock
454:16 you because nobody needs an alarm clock you can wake up at any time you can wake
454:17 you can wake up at any time you can wake up with 3 hours sleep or with 13 hour
454:19 up with 3 hours sleep or with 13 hour sleep you can wake up in pitch black
454:21 sleep you can wake up in pitch black darkness you can sleep for 20 minutes or
454:23 darkness you can sleep for 20 minutes or 2 hours just simply by programming your
454:25 2 hours just simply by programming your mind you can also program your mind to
454:28 mind you can also program your mind to remember to do something remember not to
454:30 remember to do something remember not to do something uh and so on and I'll tell
454:33 do something uh and so on and I'll tell you this so that you can write it down
454:34 you this so that you can write it down it's what we call the law of
454:36 it's what we call the law of superconscious activity the law of
454:39 superconscious activity the law of superconscious activity and it is this
454:42 superconscious activity and it is this is that because of the power of the
454:44 is that because of the power of the superconscious Mind any thought plan
454:48 superconscious Mind any thought plan goal or idea that you can hold in your
454:51 goal or idea that you can hold in your mind your conscious mind on a continuing
454:54 mind your conscious mind on a continuing basis must be brought into reality by
454:57 basis must be brought into reality by your superconscious mind and any thought
455:00 your superconscious mind and any thought plan goal or idea that you hold
455:03 plan goal or idea that you hold continuously in your conscious mind and
455:05 continuously in your conscious mind and that you intensely desire or intensely
455:08 that you intensely desire or intensely fear must be brought into reality by
455:11 fear must be brought into reality by your superconscious mind whether
455:14 your superconscious mind whether positive or negative good or bad for you
455:17 positive or negative good or bad for you if you can hold it continuously if you
455:19 if you can hold it continuously if you can emotionalize it if you can visualize
455:21 can emotionalize it if you can visualize it in your conscious mind the
455:23 it in your conscious mind the superconscious mind will begin to
455:25 superconscious mind will begin to organize the entire universe of
455:27 organize the entire universe of experience around you to draw into your
455:30 experience around you to draw into your life the people and circumstances
455:32 life the people and circumstances necessary to make that idea come true
455:35 necessary to make that idea come true what we've been saying throughout this
455:36 what we've been saying throughout this entire program is that your thoughts are
455:39 entire program is that your thoughts are extremely powerful that your thoughts
455:41 extremely powerful that your thoughts objectify themselves that your thoughts
455:44 objectify themselves that your thoughts become your reality and it is this
455:47 become your reality and it is this understanding of this superconscious
455:48 understanding of this superconscious capability that makes it a fact that
455:51 capability that makes it a fact that your thoughts do become your reality so
455:54 your thoughts do become your reality so keep your mind on what you want keep it
455:56 keep your mind on what you want keep it off of what you don't want think
455:58 off of what you don't want think continuously think nonstop think all the
456:01 continuously think nonstop think all the time only about what it is that you want
456:04 time only about what it is that you want and keep your mind completely off of the
456:06 and keep your mind completely off of the things that you don't want the reason
456:07 things that you don't want the reason why so many people are unsuccessful and
456:09 why so many people are unsuccessful and unhappy today is because they think
456:10 unhappy today is because they think continuously about the things that they
456:12 continuously about the things that they don't want the reason that a very few
456:14 don't want the reason that a very few people the elite are successful happy
456:18 people the elite are successful happy prosperous growing and so on is because
456:20 prosperous growing and so on is because they keep their mind on what they desire
456:22 they keep their mind on what they desire and the Bible it says the rich get
456:24 and the Bible it says the rich get richer and the poor get poor or it says
456:26 richer and the poor get poor or it says I'm sorry in the Bible it says from him
456:29 I'm sorry in the Bible it says from him who has
456:30 who has even that which she has shall be taken
456:31 even that which she has shall be taken away but to him who ha even more shall
456:33 away but to him who ha even more shall be given the rich get richer and the
456:35 be given the rich get richer and the poor get poor what do the rich think
456:36 poor get poor what do the rich think about what do the rich dwell upon what
456:38 about what do the rich dwell upon what do the rich concentrate on what do the
456:40 do the rich concentrate on what do the rich attract to themselves what is the
456:41 rich attract to themselves what is the law of correspondence with regard to the
456:43 law of correspondence with regard to the rich it is the rich are always thinking
456:45 rich it is the rich are always thinking of production affluence money wealth and
456:47 of production affluence money wealth and so on what do the poor think about all
456:49 so on what do the poor think about all the time yes the poor think about
456:51 the time yes the poor think about poverty lock La lack loss limitation
456:55 poverty lock La lack loss limitation your health how little money they have
456:57 your health how little money they have and whatever you think about on a
456:58 and whatever you think about on a continuing basis you draw into your life
457:01 continuing basis you draw into your life and you make into your reality because
457:03 and you make into your reality because of this superconscious capability no
457:05 of this superconscious capability no matter how big your goals are no matter
457:07 matter how big your goals are no matter how far away they are if you can hold
457:09 how far away they are if you can hold them in your mind on a continuing basis
457:11 them in your mind on a continuing basis you can make them your reality well how
457:14 you can make them your reality well how do you activate the superconscious Mind
457:16 do you activate the superconscious Mind here is the most powerful of all we call
457:18 here is the most powerful of all we call this the ma Master method of activation
457:20 this the ma Master method of activation it is called
457:23 it is called Solitude you activate the superconscious
457:25 Solitude you activate the superconscious mind with Solitude now how do you use
457:28 mind with Solitude now how do you use solitude
457:30 solitude we call this go into the silence go and
457:33 we call this go into the silence go and sit down
457:34 sit down quietly by yourself for 30 to 60 Minutes
457:39 quietly by yourself for 30 to 60 Minutes 30 to 60 Minutes most people in our
457:41 30 to 60 Minutes most people in our society have never sat quietly for 30 to
457:43 society have never sat quietly for 30 to 60 Minutes in their entire lives yet I
457:46 60 Minutes in their entire lives yet I will tell you this this method works
457:48 will tell you this this method works 100% of the time that any problem that
457:50 100% of the time that any problem that you have any difficulty any challenge
457:52 you have any difficulty any challenge any goal that you want to accomplish if
457:54 any goal that you want to accomplish if you'll go into the silence and sit
457:56 you'll go into the silence and sit quietly and then listen to the still
457:59 quietly and then listen to the still Small Voice Within listen to The Still
458:02 Small Voice Within listen to The Still Small Voice
458:04 Small Voice Within the still Small Voice Within this
458:08 Within the still Small Voice Within this is the
458:09 is the key you will find that at a certain
458:12 key you will find that at a certain point probably at about 25 to 30 minutes
458:15 point probably at about 25 to 30 minutes your mind will go completely clear and
458:18 your mind will go completely clear and then a flow of ideas will start to flow
458:20 then a flow of ideas will start to flow into your mind you'll feel energy
458:21 into your mind you'll feel energy welling up inside you and at a precise
458:24 welling up inside you and at a precise moment as you sit there in complete
458:25 moment as you sit there in complete silence no cigarettes no coffee no music
458:28 silence no cigarettes no coffee no music nothing just complete silence
458:29 nothing just complete silence at a particular moment your mind will go
458:32 at a particular moment your mind will go clear and Wham exactly the answer you
458:35 clear and Wham exactly the answer you need will come at exactly the right time
458:37 need will come at exactly the right time and if you will get up and go and carry
458:39 and if you will get up and go and carry out that answer it will turn out to be
458:42 out that answer it will turn out to be exactly perfect there's a lot of things
458:44 exactly perfect there's a lot of things that you can do to stimulate the
458:45 that you can do to stimulate the superconscious Mind aside from Solitude
458:48 superconscious Mind aside from Solitude visualization affirmation daydreaming
458:51 visualization affirmation daydreaming relaxing classical music natural
458:53 relaxing classical music natural environments meditation tape affirmation
458:56 environments meditation tape affirmation all activate the superconscious mind now
458:59 all activate the superconscious mind now there's three sources of a
459:00 there's three sources of a superconscious solution three critical
459:03 superconscious solution three critical sources number one is intuition it'll
459:06 sources number one is intuition it'll come from inside you'll get a very very
459:08 come from inside you'll get a very very strong feeling that this is the answer
459:10 strong feeling that this is the answer number two
459:12 number two is um chance encounters you will meet
459:15 is um chance encounters you will meet people or you will meet books
459:18 people or you will meet books information material ideas that will
459:21 information material ideas that will give you the critical answers that you
459:22 give you the critical answers that you require and number three is unexpected
459:25 require and number three is unexpected events unexpected events things will
459:28 events unexpected events things will happen that are totally unexpected
459:30 happen that are totally unexpected either within your life or in your
459:32 either within your life or in your external environment and if you look
459:34 external environment and if you look into them very closely you find that
459:35 into them very closely you find that very often they contain exactly the
459:37 very often they contain exactly the answer exactly the Insight that you're
459:39 answer exactly the Insight that you're looking for so be very alert to
459:41 looking for so be very alert to intuition be very alert to chance
459:43 intuition be very alert to chance encounters be very alert to unexpected
459:45 encounters be very alert to unexpected events now how do you tell a
459:47 events now how do you tell a superconscious solution this is this is
459:49 superconscious solution this is this is how you tell it number one is that when
459:51 how you tell it number one is that when the answer comes it will be 100%
459:55 the answer comes it will be 100% complete it will answer every aspect of
459:58 complete it will answer every aspect of the problem it will be that's it that's
460:01 the problem it will be that's it that's the answer it'll be so clear and it will
460:03 the answer it'll be so clear and it will be
460:05 be simple this is a wonderful thing it'll
460:07 simple this is a wonderful thing it'll be very very simple number two it'll be
460:09 be very very simple number two it'll be a blinding flash of the obvious you'll
460:11 a blinding flash of the obvious you'll say to yourself why didn't I think of
460:14 say to yourself why didn't I think of that why didn't I think of that that's
460:15 that why didn't I think of that that's so obvious it's so logical a blinding
460:19 so obvious it's so logical a blinding flash of the obvious now one
460:23 flash of the obvious now one other one other key is the emotional
460:26 other one other key is the emotional component is that when you get a
460:28 component is that when you get a superconscious solution that means
460:30 superconscious solution that means exactly the right answer for you it is
460:32 exactly the right answer for you it is always accompanied by a burst of
460:35 always accompanied by a burst of joy and energy your self-esteem goes up
460:39 joy and energy your self-esteem goes up you feel positive you feel happy you
460:42 you feel positive you feel happy you have what is called a feeling of
460:45 have what is called a feeling of elation you feel great that you say wow
460:49 elation you feel great that you say wow this is perfect this is the answer you
460:51 this is perfect this is the answer you get so excited sometimes you have to run
460:52 get so excited sometimes you have to run and go to the bathroom but you want to
460:54 and go to the bathroom but you want to call and tell somebody you want to do
460:55 call and tell somebody you want to do something you a superconscious solution
460:57 something you a superconscious solution always comes with the energy necessary
461:00 always comes with the energy necessary to implement it for instance if you get
461:02 to implement it for instance if you get a superconscious solution just as you're
461:04 a superconscious solution just as you're going to sleep or in the middle of the
461:05 going to sleep or in the middle of the night you will wake up with your heart
461:07 night you will wake up with your heart pounding and your mind racing and your
461:09 pounding and your mind racing and your and and your uh your blood streaming and
461:11 and and your uh your blood streaming and you won't be able to get back to sleep
461:13 you won't be able to get back to sleep again so let me conclude by saying this
461:15 again so let me conclude by saying this again the law of superconscious activity
461:18 again the law of superconscious activity the most important single law that
461:20 the most important single law that determines your destiny and everything
461:21 determines your destiny and everything that you do and everything that you'll
461:23 that you do and everything that you'll ever accomplish is that any thought any
461:26 ever accomplish is that any thought any plan any goal any idea that you can hold
461:30 plan any goal any idea that you can hold continuously in your
461:32 continuously in your mind must be brought into reality by the
461:35 mind must be brought into reality by the superconscious this is the reason for
461:37 superconscious this is the reason for the greatness of every man and woman who
461:39 the greatness of every man and woman who ever lived every great leader writer
461:41 ever lived every great leader writer author poet or business person and you
461:44 author poet or business person and you can tap into this at will simply by
461:47 can tap into this at will simply by defining with Crystal Clarity exactly
461:49 defining with Crystal Clarity exactly what it is you want and then thinking
461:52 what it is you want and then thinking only about what you want keeping your
461:55 only about what you want keeping your mind only on what you desire and keep it
461:58 mind only on what you desire and keep it off of everything else until it comes
462:00 off of everything else until it comes into your
462:15 reality session 20 creative problem solving techniques remember when we
462:17 solving techniques remember when we talked about that survey that was done
462:19 talked about that survey that was done where they checked the IQ of a thousand
462:21 where they checked the IQ of a thousand people at random and they found the
462:22 people at random and they found the difference in IQ between the least
462:24 difference in IQ between the least intelligent and the most intelligent was
462:26 intelligent and the most intelligent was only 2 and a half times and we talked
462:28 only 2 and a half times and we talked about with regard to income how people
462:30 about with regard to income how people earning $250,000 a year are not 10 times
462:33 earning $250,000 a year are not 10 times Smarter Than People earning $25,000 a
462:36 Smarter Than People earning $25,000 a year well this subject has fascinated me
462:38 year well this subject has fascinated me for years and I've put together courses
462:39 for years and I've put together courses which I've taught to Major Fortune 500
462:43 which I've taught to Major Fortune 500 Executives and administrators and I've
462:45 Executives and administrators and I've come up with some really interesting
462:46 come up with some really interesting ideas with regard to intelligence and IQ
462:48 ideas with regard to intelligence and IQ and I'd like to just sort of impress
462:50 and I'd like to just sort of impress upon you one thought which is this is
462:52 upon you one thought which is this is that intelligence is a way of acting
462:55 that intelligence is a way of acting intelligence is not a matter of IQ it's
462:58 intelligence is not a matter of IQ it's not a matter of Ed education it's not a
463:00 not a matter of Ed education it's not a matter of background contacts grades or
463:02 matter of background contacts grades or anything else there are many extremely
463:04 anything else there are many extremely intelligent people who can't make a
463:05 intelligent people who can't make a living there are many people with
463:07 living there are many people with extended University degrees who are
463:08 extended University degrees who are unemployed but there are also people who
463:11 unemployed but there are also people who didn't finish High School who are
463:12 didn't finish High School who are running major corporations because
463:14 running major corporations because intelligence is a way of acting what I
463:17 intelligence is a way of acting what I found was that if you study the way
463:20 found was that if you study the way intelligent people which by which I mean
463:22 intelligent people which by which I mean people who can get the results they want
463:25 people who can get the results they want act and you act or you use your mind the
463:28 act and you act or you use your mind the way they use their mind you will
463:30 way they use their mind you will actually start to function with the same
463:32 actually start to function with the same level of intelligence that they function
463:33 level of intelligence that they function at irrespective of your IQ or anything
463:36 at irrespective of your IQ or anything else so let's start off with this basic
463:38 else so let's start off with this basic sentence intelligence is a way of acting
463:42 sentence intelligence is a way of acting in other words if you act intelligently
463:45 in other words if you act intelligently then you are intelligent if you do not
463:47 then you are intelligent if you do not act intelligently then you are not
463:49 act intelligently then you are not intelligent irrespective of how smart
463:52 intelligent irrespective of how smart you are or how well educated you are
463:55 you are or how well educated you are with regard to this one of the studies
463:56 with regard to this one of the studies that I conducted a couple of years ago
463:58 that I conducted a couple of years ago was looking at some research on Geniuses
464:01 was looking at some research on Geniuses what are the characteristics of geniuses
464:03 what are the characteristics of geniuses people who perform by the Judgment of
464:06 people who perform by the Judgment of their peers at exceptional levels of
464:08 their peers at exceptional levels of intelligence people who were over 140 IQ
464:11 intelligence people who were over 140 IQ and going up right to 150 160 170 180
464:14 and going up right to 150 160 170 180 and so on and I found that there are
464:15 and so on and I found that there are four keys to genius and all four of
464:18 four keys to genius and all four of these keys are learnable behaviors if
464:20 these keys are learnable behaviors if you learn the Four Keys you can function
464:23 you learn the Four Keys you can function at a level of intelligence that is
464:25 at a level of intelligence that is double your level today so what are the
464:27 double your level today so what are the Four Keys number one key to genius is
464:31 Four Keys number one key to genius is Clarity Clarity is absolutely essential
464:35 Clarity Clarity is absolutely essential as a matter of fact I find over and over
464:36 as a matter of fact I find over and over again the reason people fail in life is
464:38 again the reason people fail in life is because they don't know what they want
464:39 because they don't know what they want they're unclear about where they're
464:41 they're unclear about where they're going their goals are vague their values
464:43 going their goals are vague their values are vague their their their Alternatives
464:45 are vague their their their Alternatives and their options are kind of fuzzy
464:47 and their options are kind of fuzzy whereas all successful people have
464:49 whereas all successful people have tremendous Clarity imagine that you have
464:51 tremendous Clarity imagine that you have a camera and every single time you bring
464:53 a camera and every single time you bring your camera into Focus so that the
464:55 your camera into Focus so that the subject is perfectly clear you're on the
464:58 subject is perfectly clear you're on the beam that means every single time
465:00 beam that means every single time somebody asks you or you think about
465:01 somebody asks you or you think about your goals your goals should be
465:04 your goals your goals should be particularly clear that's what we've
465:05 particularly clear that's what we've talked about write them down clearly
465:07 talked about write them down clearly describe them make them time bounded
465:09 describe them make them time bounded make them measurable make them specific
465:12 make them measurable make them specific use vivid language to accomplish them
465:13 use vivid language to accomplish them because the more clear your goals are
465:15 because the more clear your goals are the sharper your mind is in
465:17 the sharper your mind is in accomplishing or achieving those goals
465:19 accomplishing or achieving those goals another thing that you have to be clear
465:20 another thing that you have to be clear about is what are your problems remember
465:22 about is what are your problems remember we said identifying the obstacles that
465:24 we said identifying the obstacles that stand between you and your goals and
465:26 stand between you and your goals and finding out what are the big obstacles
465:27 finding out what are the big obstacles what are the small obstacles and being
465:29 what are the small obstacles and being crystal clear in medicine what do you do
465:31 crystal clear in medicine what do you do in medicine in medicine you just simply
465:33 in medicine in medicine you just simply go through a process of diagnosis until
465:35 go through a process of diagnosis until you find specifically the problem that's
465:37 you find specifically the problem that's causing the ailment and the more clear
465:39 causing the ailment and the more clear you are about the problem the easier the
465:41 you are about the problem the easier the solution is the people who are unhappy
465:44 solution is the people who are unhappy and unsuccessful today are not people
465:45 and unsuccessful today are not people who are not intelligent or not capable
465:47 who are not intelligent or not capable but they're very fuzzy about their goals
465:49 but they're very fuzzy about their goals and they're equally fuzzy about their
465:50 and they're equally fuzzy about their problems and finally more important than
465:52 problems and finally more important than anything else is your
465:54 anything else is your outcomes this requires more
465:57 outcomes this requires more thought than either of the other two
466:00 thought than either of the other two what is the outcome you desire where do
466:03 what is the outcome you desire where do you want to be at the end of this
466:05 you want to be at the end of this process in other words what will it look
466:06 process in other words what will it look like what will it feel like not the
466:08 like what will it feel like not the process of getting there but what is the
466:11 process of getting there but what is the outcome that you're after and the focus
466:13 outcome that you're after and the focus on outcomes is often a superior Focus
466:16 on outcomes is often a superior Focus than that of focusing on goals because
466:18 than that of focusing on goals because believe it or not sometimes your goals
466:19 believe it or not sometimes your goals may be wrong sometimes the problems may
466:21 may be wrong sometimes the problems may not be the right problems but if you
466:22 not be the right problems but if you know what the outcome is if you know
466:24 know what the outcome is if you know what you want it to look like if you
466:25 what you want it to look like if you know that you want a 3500 ft home that's
466:28 know that you want a 3500 ft home that's modern has all the amenities and has a
466:30 modern has all the amenities and has a study for yourself and a family room for
466:31 study for yourself and a family room for the children and double garage and so on
466:33 the children and double garage and so on if that's the outcome you desire then
466:35 if that's the outcome you desire then the neighborhood that you live in the
466:37 the neighborhood that you live in the terms upon which you get the house
466:39 terms upon which you get the house rental lease purchase and so on those
466:40 rental lease purchase and so on those can take care of themselves long as
466:42 can take care of themselves long as you're clear about the outcome so the
466:43 you're clear about the outcome so the second key to functioning as a genius is
466:48 second key to functioning as a genius is concentration concentration all Geniuses
466:51 concentration concentration all Geniuses all highly intelligent people are people
466:54 all highly intelligent people are people who have the ability to concentrate 100%
466:57 who have the ability to concentrate 100% on one thing at a time and concentrate
466:59 on one thing at a time and concentrate on the most important thing all non-
467:01 on the most important thing all non- Geniuses all people of limited
467:03 Geniuses all people of limited intelligence are people who try to do a
467:05 intelligence are people who try to do a whole lot of different things they're
467:06 whole lot of different things they're all focused on a whole lot of different
467:08 all focused on a whole lot of different things and because they can't bring
467:10 things and because they can't bring their intelligence to bear like a fist
467:12 their intelligence to bear like a fist on a single problem they never seem to
467:14 on a single problem they never seem to get anything really resolved so the
467:17 get anything really resolved so the ability to concentrate and we talked
467:19 ability to concentrate and we talked about that in time management making a
467:20 about that in time management making a list of all your goals or all the
467:22 list of all your goals or all the problems stand in your way picking the
467:24 problems stand in your way picking the one or two that are the most important
467:26 one or two that are the most important picking number one and then going to
467:28 picking number one and then going to work on number one and staying with it
467:29 work on number one and staying with it single-mindedly till it's finished
467:31 single-mindedly till it's finished absolute key to genius because the more
467:33 absolute key to genius because the more you concentrate like a laser beam the
467:35 you concentrate like a laser beam the more you concentrate the more of your
467:37 more you concentrate the more of your intelligence is directed like that beam
467:40 intelligence is directed like that beam that particle beam more of your
467:42 that particle beam more of your intelligence is directed on blasting the
467:44 intelligence is directed on blasting the problem out of the way or moving you
467:46 problem out of the way or moving you towards your goal now the third quality
467:48 towards your goal now the third quality of Genius which you can develop is the
467:50 of Genius which you can develop is the ability to keep an open
467:52 ability to keep an open mind you see we find that people who are
467:54 mind you see we find that people who are very intelligent tend to be open-minded
467:57 very intelligent tend to be open-minded in that they are willing to look at a
467:59 in that they are willing to look at a variety of different approaches they're
468:01 variety of different approaches they're willing to stand back from the situation
468:03 willing to stand back from the situation they're willing to ask a lot of
468:05 they're willing to ask a lot of questions they willing to ask questions
468:07 questions they willing to ask questions like why and questions like why not and
468:10 like why and questions like why not and questions like what are our assumptions
468:12 questions like what are our assumptions we're having this problem what are our
468:14 we're having this problem what are our assumptions could it be that our
468:15 assumptions could it be that our assumptions are wrong what if our
468:16 assumptions are wrong what if our assumptions were wrong you know that
468:18 assumptions were wrong you know that that that that errant assumptions lie at
468:21 that that that errant assumptions lie at the root root of most failures I some as
468:24 the root root of most failures I some as some shouldn't what are your
468:27 some shouldn't what are your assumptions we find when I go in and do
468:30 assumptions we find when I go in and do research or or or Consulting for large
468:32 research or or or Consulting for large companies or even small companies you
468:33 companies or even small companies you find that wherever they're having
468:34 find that wherever they're having problem in the market there's an
468:35 problem in the market there's an assumption is wrong assumption is wrong
468:37 assumption is wrong assumption is wrong with regard to the product with regard
468:38 with regard to the product with regard to the service with regard to the
468:39 to the service with regard to the competition with regard to the customer
468:41 competition with regard to the customer or so on so what are your assumptions
468:43 or so on so what are your assumptions keep an open mind and look at a whole
468:45 keep an open mind and look at a whole variety of different ways of approaching
468:48 variety of different ways of approaching whatever problem it is another good
468:50 whatever problem it is another good question to ask is what else might be
468:52 question to ask is what else might be the problem we think this is the problem
468:54 the problem we think this is the problem what if something else is the problem
468:55 what if something else is the problem completely different from what we're
468:57 completely different from what we're looking at so keep an open mind mind be
468:59 looking at so keep an open mind mind be flexible be fluid willing to be willing
469:01 flexible be fluid willing to be willing to look at a variety of different
469:02 to look at a variety of different approaches and then the fourth
469:05 approaches and then the fourth characteristic of all Geniuses
469:06 characteristic of all Geniuses surprisingly enough is that they have a
469:07 surprisingly enough is that they have a systematic method they or they have
469:10 systematic method they or they have systematic methodology if you like or
469:12 systematic methodology if you like or systematic methods of problem solving
469:16 systematic methods of problem solving they just don't run off half now
469:18 they just don't run off half now finally once a genius has gone through a
469:20 finally once a genius has gone through a series of systematic methods very often
469:22 series of systematic methods very often as a result of this process of
469:23 as a result of this process of concentration they just dro the the
469:26 concentration they just dro the the subject out of their mind and at a
469:28 subject out of their mind and at a certain point the superconscious will
469:29 certain point the superconscious will give them the answer that they're
469:30 give them the answer that they're looking for but prior to that they go
469:32 looking for but prior to that they go through systematic methods if you like
469:34 through systematic methods if you like of organized
469:36 of organized thinking now most people don't do this
469:39 thinking now most people don't do this what they do is they throw themselves at
469:41 what they do is they throw themselves at a problem the same way a dog throws
469:43 a problem the same way a dog throws itself at a car going past and they go
469:46 itself at a car going past and they go ruu and they chase after the dog or they
469:48 ruu and they chase after the dog or they throw themselves after a blanket like a
469:50 throw themselves after a blanket like a puppy does and they tear the blanket
469:53 puppy does and they tear the blanket round and round and they throw it away
469:55 round and round and they throw it away intelligent people approach every
469:57 intelligent people approach every problem logically
469:59 problem logically systematically organized fashion so
470:02 systematically organized fashion so let's talk about three methods of
470:04 let's talk about three methods of creative thinking that you can use to
470:07 creative thinking that you can use to like a particle beam Smasher that you
470:10 like a particle beam Smasher that you can use to smash through about 90 95% of
470:14 can use to smash through about 90 95% of any problem that you'll ever face any
470:16 any problem that you'll ever face any obstacle anything that stands in your
470:17 obstacle anything that stands in your way and the first is what I call mind
470:20 way and the first is what I call mind storming now mind storming is a very
470:23 storming now mind storming is a very simple technique it was developed many
470:25 simple technique it was developed many many years ago it can be done by
470:27 many years ago it can be done by yourself or can be done with other
470:29 yourself or can be done with other people more people have become wealthy
470:32 people more people have become wealthy and successful using this technique than
470:34 and successful using this technique than any other technique I've ever seen I've
470:36 any other technique I've ever seen I've used this myself for years and it is
470:39 used this myself for years and it is absolutely devastating in how rapidly
470:42 absolutely devastating in how rapidly you can come up with great solutions to
470:44 you can come up with great solutions to even the most complex problems mind
470:46 even the most complex problems mind storming is often called the 20 idea
470:49 storming is often called the 20 idea method the only thing that's necessary
470:52 method the only thing that's necessary to use this 20 idea method is a piece of
470:55 to use this 20 idea method is a piece of paper a pen and disci
470:59 paper a pen and disci why is it that people don't use this
471:00 why is it that people don't use this method more often a they don't know it B
471:03 method more often a they don't know it B they're not disciplined enough to use it
471:05 they're not disciplined enough to use it but if you use this on a systematic
471:06 but if you use this on a systematic basis you will be astonished at the
471:09 basis you will be astonished at the results from the very first time well
471:10 results from the very first time well the 20 idea method simply says this take
471:12 the 20 idea method simply says this take a sheet of
471:14 a sheet of paper best time to do this is first
471:16 paper best time to do this is first thing in the morning and write your
471:18 thing in the morning and write your major goal or objective at the top of
471:23 major goal or objective at the top of the page in the form of a question let
471:25 the page in the form of a question let us say that you want to increase your
471:27 us say that you want to increase your income from $30,000 to $45,000 over the
471:30 income from $30,000 to $45,000 over the next 12 months so what you do is you
471:32 next 12 months so what you do is you might write at the top of the page what
471:34 might write at the top of the page what can I do to earn
471:36 can I do to earn $45,000 over the next 12 months that
471:39 $45,000 over the next 12 months that would be the question or let us say it's
471:40 would be the question or let us say it's a time management question what can I do
471:42 a time management question what can I do to get two more hours of productive time
471:44 to get two more hours of productive time every day or let's say it's a health
471:46 every day or let's say it's a health question what can I do to lose 5 pounds
471:48 question what can I do to lose 5 pounds a month until I get down to my ideal
471:50 a month until I get down to my ideal weight you put that at the top of the
471:52 weight you put that at the top of the page in the form of a question and then
471:54 page in the form of a question and then you force yourself to write 20 different
471:57 you force yourself to write 20 different answers you just keep forcing yourself
471:59 answers you just keep forcing yourself to write 20 different answers now the
472:01 to write 20 different answers now the first three to five answers that you'll
472:03 first three to five answers that you'll come up with are pretty easy the next
472:05 come up with are pretty easy the next three to five are more difficult the
472:07 three to five are more difficult the last 10 will be like squeezing blood
472:09 last 10 will be like squeezing blood from a stone because your mind if you
472:11 from a stone because your mind if you haven't been using it on a regular basis
472:13 haven't been using it on a regular basis will be very slow to respond to this
472:16 will be very slow to respond to this demand just like a muscle if you went
472:17 demand just like a muscle if you went into a weight room and began to pump
472:20 into a weight room and began to pump iron your muscles would respond very
472:22 iron your muscles would respond very very slowly but after a week a month two
472:25 very slowly but after a week a month two 3 months you could go in and you could
472:26 3 months you could go in and you could work out all afternoon so put it at the
472:28 work out all afternoon so put it at the top of the page and generate 20 answers
472:30 top of the page and generate 20 answers and then at the end of this pick one
472:33 and then at the end of this pick one answer and implement it immediately just
472:35 answer and implement it immediately just simple as that if you'll do this this
472:37 simple as that if you'll do this this technique is so astonishingly powerful
472:39 technique is so astonishingly powerful it's amazing you will come up with ideas
472:42 it's amazing you will come up with ideas out of your mind that absolutely
472:43 out of your mind that absolutely astonish you things will come out on the
472:45 astonish you things will come out on the paper underneath your pen that you never
472:47 paper underneath your pen that you never believed were in your brain I have given
472:49 believed were in your brain I have given this exercise to many groups of
472:50 this exercise to many groups of Executives and I found they've come up
472:52 Executives and I found they've come up to me and said you know sometimes it's
472:54 to me and said you know sometimes it's the 20th answer that's worth all the
472:56 the 20th answer that's worth all the other 19 put together people come up to
472:58 other 19 put together people come up to me and said that 20th answer by forcing
473:00 me and said that 20th answer by forcing yourself to write 20 answers that 20th
473:02 yourself to write 20 answers that 20th answer sometimes is the answer they've
473:04 answer sometimes is the answer they've been looking for for 6 months so using
473:06 been looking for for 6 months so using this exercise then take one and apply it
473:08 this exercise then take one and apply it immediately why it's because that locks
473:10 immediately why it's because that locks into the subconscious and the
473:12 into the subconscious and the superconscious that you are serious
473:14 superconscious that you are serious about this process well if you were to
473:15 about this process well if you were to do this 5 days a week every morning
473:17 do this 5 days a week every morning before you start off and you were to
473:19 before you start off and you were to generate 20 ideas every single morning
473:21 generate 20 ideas every single morning before you start off and you were to do
473:23 before you start off and you were to do this times 50 weeks a year taking two
473:26 this times 50 weeks a year taking two weeks off for uh holidays and taking
473:28 weeks off for uh holidays and taking weekends off where you don't have to
473:29 weekends off where you don't have to think at all you would end up with about
473:32 think at all you would end up with about 5,000 ideas per year if you were to take
473:35 5,000 ideas per year if you were to take one idea per year or one idea per day
473:38 one idea per year or one idea per day times 5 days per week
473:42 times 5 days per week times yes times 50 weeks per year it
473:45 times yes times 50 weeks per year it would equal 250 ideas perom that you
473:49 would equal 250 ideas perom that you would be applying in your life in a
473:51 would be applying in your life in a world where the average person doesn't
473:53 world where the average person doesn't use one do you think if you use this
473:55 use one do you think if you use this method on a systematic basis it would
473:57 method on a systematic basis it would change your result do you think if you
473:59 change your result do you think if you use this method of creative thinking on
474:01 use this method of creative thinking on a regular basis you would start to see
474:03 a regular basis you would start to see some progress or some changes the
474:05 some progress or some changes the interesting thing is that if you use
474:06 interesting thing is that if you use this method every day now I I must tell
474:08 this method every day now I I must tell you quite honestly personally I cannot
474:10 you quite honestly personally I cannot use this method for more than three days
474:12 use this method for more than three days in a row and the reason is that by the
474:15 in a row and the reason is that by the third day I am coming up with so many
474:17 third day I am coming up with so many ideas that I do not have enough time in
474:19 ideas that I do not have enough time in the day to implement all the ideas and
474:22 the day to implement all the ideas and they are good ideas they are sound ideas
474:24 they are good ideas they are sound ideas they are practical ideas in many cases
474:26 they are practical ideas in many cases they are superconscious solutions that
474:28 they are superconscious solutions that pour out onto the page they are insights
474:31 pour out onto the page they are insights that are worth sometimes hundreds
474:33 that are worth sometimes hundreds sometimes thousands and I've had ideas
474:35 sometimes thousands and I've had ideas that have been worth tens of thousands
474:36 that have been worth tens of thousands even hundreds of thousands of dollars I
474:38 even hundreds of thousands of dollars I do Consulting for corporations
474:40 do Consulting for corporations occasionally I'll come up with an idea
474:41 occasionally I'll come up with an idea when I'm doing a Consulting assignment
474:43 when I'm doing a Consulting assignment for corporations with this exercise that
474:45 for corporations with this exercise that will be worth hundreds of thousands of
474:46 will be worth hundreds of thousands of dollars to them because it will be a
474:48 dollars to them because it will be a unique distillation of a series of
474:51 unique distillation of a series of factors that suddenly crystallize like a
474:53 factors that suddenly crystallize like a flash bulb catches the photograph with
474:55 flash bulb catches the photograph with all the details it'll suddenly
474:57 all the details it'll suddenly crystallize in a superconscious way and
474:58 crystallize in a superconscious way and bang there will be the idea so I
475:01 bang there will be the idea so I strongly urge you to use this method
475:02 strongly urge you to use this method starting today take any goal any problem
475:05 starting today take any goal any problem any difficulty write it in the form of a
475:07 any difficulty write it in the form of a question and try it once and you will be
475:09 question and try it once and you will be astonished how effectively it works as a
475:12 astonished how effectively it works as a matter of fact I've come had many people
475:13 matter of fact I've come had many people come back hundreds of people come back
475:14 come back hundreds of people come back from my seminars and say that idea
475:16 from my seminars and say that idea changed their whole career changed their
475:18 changed their whole career changed their whole business changed their whole
475:19 whole business changed their whole family life changed many many aspects of
475:22 family life changed many many aspects of their life all right now the second
475:23 their life all right now the second method that I want to teach you is a
475:24 method that I want to teach you is a method that you can use by yourself but
475:26 method that you can use by yourself but you can also use it with groups you can
475:28 you can also use it with groups you can also use it as a sort of a form of group
475:30 also use it as a sort of a form of group problem solving and it's a systematic
475:32 problem solving and it's a systematic method part of which was was developed
475:34 method part of which was was developed at Harvard University and part of which
475:36 at Harvard University and part of which was developed by a series of other
475:37 was developed by a series of other creative thinkers and in think tanks and
475:39 creative thinkers and in think tanks and which I've combined into one method this
475:42 which I've combined into one method this method is absolutely amazing it's like
475:45 method is absolutely amazing it's like firing a cannon at tissue paper I have
475:47 firing a cannon at tissue paper I have never seen a problem that cannot be
475:49 never seen a problem that cannot be dealt with with this simple method all
475:51 dealt with with this simple method all right it's got about nine steps step
475:53 right it's got about nine steps step number one starting point is confident
475:57 number one starting point is confident expectations
475:59 expectations confident expectations seems to open up
476:02 confident expectations seems to open up the Mind relax the right brain activate
476:07 the Mind relax the right brain activate the superconscious and seems to tune you
476:10 the superconscious and seems to tune you in to solving a problem or difficulty at
476:13 in to solving a problem or difficulty at a higher level so confident expectations
476:16 a higher level so confident expectations are very simple assume a logical
476:18 are very simple assume a logical solution whenever you're faced with any
476:20 solution whenever you're faced with any kind of difficulty assume a logical
476:23 kind of difficulty assume a logical workable solution say to yourself well
476:26 workable solution say to yourself well there's a logical workable solution here
476:28 there's a logical workable solution here no problem as it says what do what does
476:30 no problem as it says what do what does the Australians say uh no worry mate
476:33 the Australians say uh no worry mate just say the same thing no worry mate no
476:35 just say the same thing no worry mate no problem there's got to be a solution
476:36 problem there's got to be a solution here somewhere this attitude of
476:38 here somewhere this attitude of confident expectation seems to open up
476:41 confident expectation seems to open up the creative mind and make it work far
476:44 the creative mind and make it work far far better step number two in order to
476:47 far better step number two in order to keep your mind positive and optimistic
476:49 keep your mind positive and optimistic use positive
476:51 use positive language use positive language now what
476:55 language use positive language now what do we mean by that well there are
476:57 do we mean by that well there are certain words in the English language or
476:59 certain words in the English language or any language that can raise or lower
477:01 any language that can raise or lower blood temperature that cause us to be
477:02 blood temperature that cause us to be anxious or fearful or happy or related
477:04 anxious or fearful or happy or related so word usage is important using the
477:08 so word usage is important using the proper words is important for instance
477:10 proper words is important for instance the word problem the word problem is a
477:12 the word problem the word problem is a negative word it has negative
477:14 negative word it has negative connotations it causes us to become
477:16 connotations it causes us to become stressful and anxious and tense it
477:18 stressful and anxious and tense it causes our minds to actually shut down
477:20 causes our minds to actually shut down instead use the word situation situation
477:23 instead use the word situation situation wonderfully enough is a neutral word
477:25 wonderfully enough is a neutral word it's neither positive or negative a
477:27 it's neither positive or negative a problem is something you struggle with a
477:28 problem is something you struggle with a situation is something you deal with
477:31 situation is something you deal with right problem equals struggle setback
477:34 right problem equals struggle setback cost difficulty
477:40 disappointment but a situation is just something you deal with and when you
477:41 something you deal with and when you suddenly start describing things as
477:43 suddenly start describing things as situations well we have an interesting
477:44 situations well we have an interesting situation here the car has been stolen
477:46 situation here the car has been stolen well this is an interesting situation
477:48 well this is an interesting situation our house has burned down well this is
477:49 our house has burned down well this is an interesting situation that triggers
477:52 an interesting situation that triggers your mind into dealing with it rather
477:53 your mind into dealing with it rather than being overcome by it now a better
477:56 than being overcome by it now a better word of course is challenge and many
477:58 word of course is challenge and many many companies and many individuals now
478:00 many companies and many individuals now only use the word challenge because it's
478:02 only use the word challenge because it's positive a challenge is something that
478:04 positive a challenge is something that you rise to a challenge is something
478:06 you rise to a challenge is something positive that you woo that you rise
478:09 positive that you woo that you rise to so instead of calling it a problem
478:11 to so instead of calling it a problem call it a challenge hey we have an
478:12 call it a challenge hey we have an interesting challenge here or we facing
478:14 interesting challenge here or we facing some interesting challenges this year or
478:16 some interesting challenges this year or it looks like we're going to have
478:17 it looks like we're going to have challenges that we didn't expect this
478:19 challenges that we didn't expect this year or we've come up with a pretty big
478:20 year or we've come up with a pretty big challenge but a challenge described as a
478:23 challenge but a challenge described as a challenge is something that brings out
478:25 challenge is something that brings out the best in you your mind starts to race
478:27 the best in you your mind starts to race to think you can deal with it and best
478:29 to think you can deal with it and best of all is the word
478:30 of all is the word opportunity the word
478:33 opportunity the word opportunity is a very positive word the
478:35 opportunity is a very positive word the word opportunity is something that you
478:37 word opportunity is something that you take advantage of now the interesting
478:39 take advantage of now the interesting thing is that in all of our research we
478:41 thing is that in all of our research we find that within every setback or
478:44 find that within every setback or difficulty within every problem within
478:46 difficulty within every problem within every situation or challenge there is a
478:48 every situation or challenge there is a hidden opportunity there is something
478:50 hidden opportunity there is something that you can learn there's something
478:52 that you can learn there's something that you can gain there's an advantage
478:53 that you can gain there's an advantage there's a benefit there is something and
478:55 there's a benefit there is something and we know because of the law of
478:56 we know because of the law of substitution that if we are looking for
478:58 substitution that if we are looking for the opportunity in any situation we
479:01 the opportunity in any situation we cannot at the same time think about what
479:04 cannot at the same time think about what would cause us to become stressed and
479:05 would cause us to become stressed and anxious you cannot think of it as a
479:07 anxious you cannot think of it as a problem and as an opportunity at the
479:09 problem and as an opportunity at the same time the one thought the positive
479:11 same time the one thought the positive thought knocks out the negative thought
479:12 thought knocks out the negative thought so when we look at successful people we
479:14 so when we look at successful people we find the successful people are those who
479:16 find the successful people are those who keep their minds on what they want and
479:18 keep their minds on what they want and they look for the opportunity they look
479:19 they look for the opportunity they look for the challenge they look for the
479:21 for the challenge they look for the positive part of any setback or
479:23 positive part of any setback or difficulty remember we talked about the
479:24 difficulty remember we talked about the superconscious mind is it setbacks and
479:27 superconscious mind is it setbacks and difficulties very often come to us to
479:29 difficulties very often come to us to tell us to change course or direction to
479:31 tell us to change course or direction to get onto the right track to get to where
479:33 get onto the right track to get to where we're going so instead of becoming
479:34 we're going so instead of becoming frustrated or upset let's look upon it
479:36 frustrated or upset let's look upon it as a great possibility and look into it
479:39 as a great possibility and look into it for the advantage or benefit now the
479:41 for the advantage or benefit now the third step in dealing with any situation
479:44 third step in dealing with any situation or challenge is to Define it clearly
479:48 or challenge is to Define it clearly Define it
479:50 Define it clearly now I use this method by the way
479:52 clearly now I use this method by the way all the time I just simply take any goal
479:54 all the time I just simply take any goal or difficulty that I have and I run it
479:56 or difficulty that I have and I run it through this whole thing and I run down
479:59 through this whole thing and I run down and I just go through the analysis and I
480:00 and I just go through the analysis and I always come out at the end with a
480:01 always come out at the end with a solution Define it clearly think on
480:04 solution Define it clearly think on paper do it in writing think on paper
480:07 paper do it in writing think on paper all successful people think on paper
480:10 all successful people think on paper unsuccessful people don't think on paper
480:12 unsuccessful people don't think on paper why don't unsuccessful people think on
480:13 why don't unsuccessful people think on paper because they're too lazy to think
480:16 paper because they're too lazy to think on paper think on paper write it down
480:19 on paper think on paper write it down say what is it that I'm worried about
480:20 say what is it that I'm worried about what is the difficulty what is the
480:22 what is the difficulty what is the situation and Define it clearly remember
480:25 situation and Define it clearly remember we said before a Hallmark of Genius is
480:27 we said before a Hallmark of Genius is clarity
480:28 clarity a Hallmark of failure is fuzziness
480:31 a Hallmark of failure is fuzziness number
480:32 number four is ask yourself what are all the
480:35 four is ask yourself what are all the possible causes what are all the
480:38 possible causes what are all the possible causes the natural tendency in
480:41 possible causes the natural tendency in our impatient Society is for us to if we
480:44 our impatient Society is for us to if we get to the point of defining the
480:46 get to the point of defining the difficulty or the challenge is to LEAP
480:48 difficulty or the challenge is to LEAP to a conclusion and say let's do this
480:50 to a conclusion and say let's do this instead what a doctor does for instance
480:52 instead what a doctor does for instance is a doctor steps back and says all
480:54 is a doctor steps back and says all right you have this pain you have this
480:57 right you have this pain you have this difficulty you have this ailment that's
480:58 difficulty you have this ailment that's being manifested in these symptoms now
481:00 being manifested in these symptoms now let's look at what all the possible
481:02 let's look at what all the possible causes may be what do you eat what do
481:05 causes may be what do you eat what do you drink what is your lifestyle like
481:06 you drink what is your lifestyle like what sort of stresses exist in your life
481:08 what sort of stresses exist in your life and so on sometimes you'll find that 50%
481:11 and so on sometimes you'll find that 50% of all of your difficulties can be
481:13 of all of your difficulties can be resolved by defining them clearly
481:16 resolved by defining them clearly another 25% of your difficulties can be
481:18 another 25% of your difficulties can be resolved by determining the causes
481:21 resolved by determining the causes sometimes if you can determine what the
481:22 sometimes if you can determine what the causes are then you say well if that's
481:24 causes are then you say well if that's the cause then you eliminate the cause
481:26 the cause then you eliminate the cause the situation is resolved the fifth step
481:29 the situation is resolved the fifth step if at this if you have not resolved it
481:30 if at this if you have not resolved it at step three or step four the next step
481:33 at step three or step four the next step is you say what are all the possible
481:36 is you say what are all the possible solutions what are all the possible
481:39 solutions what are all the possible solutions now not just the logical
481:41 solutions now not just the logical Solutions but go beyond that if you come
481:46 Solutions but go beyond that if you come up with a solution very quickly that
481:48 up with a solution very quickly that seems like the logical solution then ask
481:50 seems like the logical solution then ask yourself what if that didn't work then
481:52 yourself what if that didn't work then what else would we do the Roger Von Oak
481:54 what else would we do the Roger Von Oak says always look for what is called the
481:56 says always look for what is called the second right answer
481:58 second right answer once you have one right answer and you
482:00 once you have one right answer and you say well this looks like the answer to
482:02 say well this looks like the answer to this difficulty ask yourself what is the
482:04 this difficulty ask yourself what is the second right answer very very good
482:06 second right answer very very good exercise because if the first solution
482:08 exercise because if the first solution doesn't work you've already got a second
482:09 doesn't work you've already got a second solution already developed so you ask
482:11 solution already developed so you ask what are all the possible solutions what
482:13 what are all the possible solutions what is the solution what's the opposite of
482:15 is the solution what's the opposite of the solution what if we just did nothing
482:17 the solution what if we just did nothing what if we did it twice as hard what if
482:19 what if we did it twice as hard what if we tried something else completely what
482:21 we tried something else completely what if we used lateral thinking instead of
482:22 if we used lateral thinking instead of trying to dig this hole deeper we went
482:24 trying to dig this hole deeper we went and dug another hole what if we got out
482:26 and dug another hole what if we got out of this Market completely what if we got
482:27 of this Market completely what if we got out of this this job or this
482:28 out of this this job or this relationship completely rather than
482:30 relationship completely rather than trying to solve the job or the
482:31 trying to solve the job or the relationship what if we went somebody
482:33 relationship what if we went somebody somewhere else and started over what
482:35 somewhere else and started over what would be the second right answer now
482:37 would be the second right answer now here's a critical point from this point
482:39 here's a critical point from this point onward once you've gotten to number five
482:43 onward once you've gotten to number five think and talk only about the solutions
482:46 think and talk only about the solutions think and talk only about the
482:50 think and talk only about the solutions you see because of the law of
482:52 solutions you see because of the law of concentration because of the law of
482:54 concentration because of the law of substitution because of the Law of
482:56 substitution because of the Law of Attraction what happens
482:58 Attraction what happens well I'll tell you what happens most
483:00 well I'll tell you what happens most people talk about the problems all the
483:01 people talk about the problems all the time they think about the problems they
483:03 time they think about the problems they worry about the problems they vividly
483:04 worry about the problems they vividly imagine the problems they discuss the
483:06 imagine the problems they discuss the problems and they have more and more and
483:07 problems and they have more and more and more problems the law of substitution
483:09 more problems the law of substitution says if you think and talk about the
483:10 says if you think and talk about the problems that's your mind is going to
483:12 problems that's your mind is going to become preoccupied with negativity The
483:14 become preoccupied with negativity The Law of Attraction says you think and
483:15 Law of Attraction says you think and talk about the problems you're going to
483:16 talk about the problems you're going to attract more problems into your life the
483:18 attract more problems into your life the law of Correspondence says that the more
483:20 law of Correspondence says that the more you think and talk about problems the
483:21 you think and talk about problems the more they preoccupy your mind the more
483:23 more they preoccupy your mind the more your external world is going to be
483:24 your external world is going to be characterized by problems the difference
483:26 characterized by problems the difference between winners and losers
483:29 between winners and losers Heroes and non-h heroes successes and
483:31 Heroes and non-h heroes successes and failures is this is that successful
483:34 failures is this is that successful people winners are solution oriented
483:37 people winners are solution oriented they are solution oriented they think
483:39 they are solution oriented they think about the solutions they talk about the
483:41 about the solutions they talk about the solutions they're always asking this
483:43 solutions they're always asking this question here is the big question what
483:46 question here is the big question what what do we do from here what can we do
483:51 what do we do from here what can we do from here in other words they are always
483:54 from here in other words they are always future oriented always oriented toward
483:57 future oriented always oriented toward the future losers are always oriented
484:00 the future losers are always oriented toward the past losers always want to
484:02 toward the past losers always want to know who did it who's to blame who's
484:05 know who did it who's to blame who's responsible how do we cut our losses the
484:08 responsible how do we cut our losses the winner always looks forward and says
484:09 winner always looks forward and says Where Do We Go From Here what do we do
484:11 Where Do We Go From Here what do we do from here what's the solution from here
484:13 from here what's the solution from here how can we improve this situation how
484:15 how can we improve this situation how can we adjust adapt modify and so on
484:18 can we adjust adapt modify and so on once you get here the next step is
484:20 once you get here the next step is pretty simple number six is make a
484:22 pretty simple number six is make a decision make a decision now any
484:25 decision make a decision now any decision is better than no decision 80%
484:28 decision is better than no decision 80% of all difficulties should be resolved
484:30 of all difficulties should be resolved and the decision should be made at this
484:32 and the decision should be made at this step at this at exactly the time that
484:35 step at this at exactly the time that they come up in other words whenever you
484:37 they come up in other words whenever you have a difficulty now is the time to
484:38 have a difficulty now is the time to make 80% of your decisions indecision by
484:41 make 80% of your decisions indecision by the way indecisiveness is a major reason
484:43 the way indecisiveness is a major reason for failure indecisive people don't
484:45 for failure indecisive people don't succeed in life being decisive is more
484:47 succeed in life being decisive is more important than being correct because the
484:49 important than being correct because the more decisions that you make the more
484:51 more decisions that you make the more feedback you get the smarter you become
484:53 feedback you get the smarter you become the more accurate your decisions become
484:55 the more accurate your decisions become the fewer decisions you make the less
484:57 the fewer decisions you make the less feedback you get the less learning takes
484:59 feedback you get the less learning takes place the more poor the poorer a
485:02 place the more poor the poorer a decision maker you become so make a
485:03 decision maker you become so make a decision remember 80% should be made
485:05 decision remember 80% should be made right now and the others can be made
485:07 right now and the others can be made simply by saying all right I can't make
485:09 simply by saying all right I can't make the decision now I need more information
485:12 the decision now I need more information I'll set a deadline Thursday at noon
485:13 I'll set a deadline Thursday at noon I'll make the decision no matter what
485:15 I'll make the decision no matter what information I have number seven by the
485:17 information I have number seven by the way this is a great tension reliever
485:19 way this is a great tension reliever great tension relievers make decision
485:21 great tension relievers make decision indecisiveness is a major source of
485:22 indecisiveness is a major source of stress number seven is assign
485:25 stress number seven is assign responsibility
485:28 responsibility assign responsibility in other words ask
485:30 assign responsibility in other words ask yourself this
485:31 yourself this question this is the big question who is
485:35 question this is the big question who is going to do
485:36 going to do it who is going to do it very often
485:39 it who is going to do it very often people will go through this exercise
485:41 people will go through this exercise they'll make the decision they'll be
485:42 they'll make the decision they'll be happy they'll be elated dist stress and
485:44 happy they'll be elated dist stress and difficulty is gone and then they all go
485:46 difficulty is gone and then they all go back to work and they come back to a
485:47 back to work and they come back to a meeting two weeks later and nothing has
485:48 meeting two weeks later and nothing has been done because nobody has been
485:50 been done because nobody has been assigned specific and that's probably
485:52 assigned specific and that's probably the word assign specific responsibility
485:55 the word assign specific responsibility who is going to do what exactly and that
485:57 who is going to do what exactly and that brings us to number eight set a
486:00 brings us to number eight set a deadline say I want this done by such
486:03 deadline say I want this done by such and such a day well let's agree that
486:05 and such a day well let's agree that it's going to be done by such and such a
486:08 it's going to be done by such and such a day Thursday 12:00 noon we will review
486:10 day Thursday 12:00 noon we will review it again and of course once you set a
486:12 it again and of course once you set a deadline number nine is take action
486:16 deadline number nine is take action launch do you know an interesting time
486:19 launch do you know an interesting time management study I read recently says
486:21 management study I read recently says that
486:22 that 20% of the work the first 20% usually
486:26 20% of the work the first 20% usually accounts for 80%
486:28 accounts for 80% of the value of the job if you can
486:30 of the value of the job if you can launch it they say well be well begun is
486:33 launch it they say well be well begun is half done and number 10 is inspect what
486:37 half done and number 10 is inspect what you
486:38 you expect inspect what you expect one of
486:41 expect inspect what you expect one of the most important rules of success in
486:44 the most important rules of success in life is once you have made an agreement
486:46 life is once you have made an agreement that something is going to be done
486:47 that something is going to be done inspect it check on it control it
486:49 inspect it check on it control it monitor it keep in touch uh I have a
486:52 monitor it keep in touch uh I have a good friend that says that delegation is
486:55 good friend that says that delegation is essential but not abdication make a
486:57 essential but not abdication make a decision once you have assigned somebody
486:59 decision once you have assigned somebody you've asked somebody to do it keep in
487:01 you've asked somebody to do it keep in touch with them if it's important enough
487:03 touch with them if it's important enough for you to have it done by that deadline
487:05 for you to have it done by that deadline it's important enough for you to follow
487:07 it's important enough for you to follow up and check all right there's one final
487:10 up and check all right there's one final method of creative thinking which you
487:13 method of creative thinking which you can use with your husband or wife with
487:15 can use with your husband or wife with your co-workers with your friends with
487:17 your co-workers with your friends with your Associates one of the most powerful
487:19 your Associates one of the most powerful methods ever developed first written
487:21 methods ever developed first written about by Alex Osborne in his book
487:23 about by Alex Osborne in his book applied imagination in 1946 and it's
487:25 applied imagination in 1946 and it's called brainstorming now
487:29 called brainstorming now brainstorming is terrific I won't write
487:31 brainstorming is terrific I won't write it all out on the board but I'll just
487:33 it all out on the board but I'll just give you the description of what you
487:34 give you the description of what you have to do to be a good brainstormer
487:37 have to do to be a good brainstormer number one the very best group for
487:39 number one the very best group for brainstorming is four to seven people uh
487:42 brainstorming is four to seven people uh below four you're not getting the the
487:44 below four you're not getting the the potential Synergy and above seven the
487:46 potential Synergy and above seven the group starts to get a bit unwieldy so
487:48 group starts to get a bit unwieldy so four to seven people sitting together in
487:50 four to seven people sitting together in a Spirit of
487:52 a Spirit of Harmony step number two is to clearly
487:55 Harmony step number two is to clearly Define the question and the more simple
487:58 Define the question and the more simple and precise the question and the more
488:00 and precise the question and the more concrete the answers that you're looking
488:02 concrete the answers that you're looking for the better the brainstorming
488:04 for the better the brainstorming Exercise Works for instance you could
488:05 Exercise Works for instance you could say in a sales organization you wouldn't
488:08 say in a sales organization you wouldn't say what can we do to increase sales
488:10 say what can we do to increase sales because the qu the question is very
488:12 because the qu the question is very vague it's fuzzy remember Clarity what
488:14 vague it's fuzzy remember Clarity what we would say is what can we do to
488:15 we would say is what can we do to increase our sales by 20% over the next
488:18 increase our sales by 20% over the next 90 days then everybody can bring their
488:21 90 days then everybody can bring their minds to bear on the question now the
488:23 minds to bear on the question now the third step with regard to brainstorming
488:26 third step with regard to brainstorming is time the the best period for
488:28 is time the the best period for brainstorming is between 15 and 45
488:30 brainstorming is between 15 and 45 minutes 30 is ideal so what you do is
488:33 minutes 30 is ideal so what you do is you say we're going to brainstorm this
488:34 you say we're going to brainstorm this question what can we do to increase our
488:36 question what can we do to increase our sales by 20% over the next 90 days and
488:39 sales by 20% over the next 90 days and we're going to do it from 4:15 to
488:42 we're going to do it from 4:15 to 445 next step is idea generation now
488:45 445 next step is idea generation now this is really critical instead of
488:48 this is really critical instead of generating ideas and then evaluating
488:50 generating ideas and then evaluating them what you do is this and this is
488:51 them what you do is this and this is what Osborne found he said what blocks
488:53 what Osborne found he said what blocks brainstorming is that you have the idea
488:56 brainstorming is that you have the idea generation process and somebody comes up
488:57 generation process and somebody comes up with an idea and somebody say ah that
488:58 with an idea and somebody say ah that wouldn't work that's stupid that's
488:59 wouldn't work that's stupid that's ridiculous we tried that once before and
489:02 ridiculous we tried that once before and as soon as somebody says anything
489:03 as soon as somebody says anything critical about an idea everybody just
489:05 critical about an idea everybody just shuts up and so you sit there and
489:07 shuts up and so you sit there and everybody becomes a little bit hesitant
489:08 everybody becomes a little bit hesitant why is because when you criticize an
489:10 why is because when you criticize an idea you trigger the deep down fear of
489:12 idea you trigger the deep down fear of rejection that goes back to Early
489:13 rejection that goes back to Early Childhood so what you do is you divide
489:15 Childhood so what you do is you divide you have idea
489:17 you have idea evaluation this section and idea
489:20 evaluation this section and idea generation separated by a wall of time
489:23 generation separated by a wall of time so that you put time between the two and
489:26 so that you put time between the two and here you go for quantity of ideas so in
489:29 here you go for quantity of ideas so in a 30 minute session say 30 minutes you
489:32 a 30 minute session say 30 minutes you say let's see how many ideas we can
489:34 say let's see how many ideas we can generate focused on how we can increase
489:37 generate focused on how we can increase our sales by 20% over the next 90 days
489:40 our sales by 20% over the next 90 days and over here you can take more time and
489:43 and over here you can take more time and here you do here you go for
489:49 Quality now what is the role of the leader in a brainstorming session the
489:51 leader in a brainstorming session the leader is not to dominate The Leader is
489:54 leader is not to dominate The Leader is to stimulate a good business person by
489:57 to stimulate a good business person by by the way will bring their staff or
489:59 by the way will bring their staff or their Associates in on a regular basis
490:01 their Associates in on a regular basis to stimulate them into brainstorming at
490:03 to stimulate them into brainstorming at least once per week but don't dominate
490:05 least once per week but don't dominate the
490:06 the conversation record all
490:10 conversation record all answers record all answers very often
490:13 answers record all answers very often somebody will come up with an answer in
490:15 somebody will come up with an answer in a brainstorming session which will be a
490:17 a brainstorming session which will be a superconscious solution the
490:19 superconscious solution the superconscious solution may be so
490:21 superconscious solution may be so excellent that even the person who came
490:22 excellent that even the person who came up with it and the people at the
490:23 up with it and the people at the brainstorming session are not aware that
490:25 brainstorming session are not aware that it is a brilliant breakthrough but when
490:26 it is a brilliant breakthrough but when you take the ideas and evaluate them
490:28 you take the ideas and evaluate them later or somebody else looks at the
490:30 later or somebody else looks at the ideas they may say that's what we're
490:31 ideas they may say that's what we're looking for this is exactly right so
490:34 looking for this is exactly right so with regard to creative thinking
490:36 with regard to creative thinking remember this let let me repeat that
490:38 remember this let let me repeat that intelligence is a way of acting that you
490:40 intelligence is a way of acting that you can function at at least twice the
490:42 can function at at least twice the intelligence you're currently using by
490:44 intelligence you're currently using by doing what Geniuses do be clear about
490:47 doing what Geniuses do be clear about what you want concentrate
490:48 what you want concentrate single-mindedly on the goal the problem
490:51 single-mindedly on the goal the problem the situation or the outcome you desire
490:54 the situation or the outcome you desire keep an open mind be flexible and look
490:56 keep an open mind be flexible and look at all Poss
490:57 at all Poss abilities and then use systematic
491:01 abilities and then use systematic methods of problem solving like we've
491:02 methods of problem solving like we've discussed try any one of these methods
491:05 discussed try any one of these methods use them on a regular and systematic
491:07 use them on a regular and systematic basis and I can guarantee you you will
491:09 basis and I can guarantee you you will be astonished at how smart you really
491:13 be astonished at how smart you really are this is the end of side two please
491:16 are this is the end of side two please fast forward the tape to the end to
491:18 fast forward the tape to the end to queue up side one for your next
491:19 queue up side one for your next listening
491:46 presenta [Music]
491:56 [Music] pH session 24 developing a success
491:59 pH session 24 developing a success personality the great steel magnet
492:01 personality the great steel magnet Andrew Carnegie who accumulated a
492:03 Andrew Carnegie who accumulated a Fortune of over 500 million dollars at
492:05 Fortune of over 500 million dollars at the beginning of this Century starting
492:07 the beginning of this Century starting as a penniless immigrant once said that
492:09 as a penniless immigrant once said that I will pay more for the ability to get
492:12 I will pay more for the ability to get along with others than for any other
492:14 along with others than for any other single skill and today in our society
492:17 single skill and today in our society your ability to get along with other
492:18 your ability to get along with other people your social intelligence is the
492:21 people your social intelligence is the most valuable most precious single asset
492:23 most valuable most precious single asset that you have not only in terms of your
492:24 that you have not only in terms of your career not only in terms of your
492:26 career not only in terms of your marriage and your relationship
492:27 marriage and your relationship but in terms of your own mental
492:29 but in terms of your own mental well-being in this session we're going
492:30 well-being in this session we're going to talk about developing a success
492:33 to talk about developing a success personality we're going to talk about
492:35 personality we're going to talk about developing the quintessence of mental
492:37 developing the quintessence of mental health which is a positive personality a
492:40 health which is a positive personality a positive mental attitude the kind of
492:42 positive mental attitude the kind of person that everybody likes to be around
492:44 person that everybody likes to be around the kind of person who is welcome
492:45 the kind of person who is welcome everywhere we said very early in this
492:48 everywhere we said very early in this seminar that 85% of everything that you
492:51 seminar that 85% of everything that you ever accomplish in life will be as a
492:53 ever accomplish in life will be as a direct result of how well you get along
492:55 direct result of how well you get along with other people that today even the
492:57 with other people that today even the biggest companies in America are hiring
493:00 biggest companies in America are hiring on the basis of personality and attitude
493:03 on the basis of personality and attitude rather than on the basis of grades
493:05 rather than on the basis of grades proficiency skills and experience why
493:07 proficiency skills and experience why it's because if the person has the right
493:10 it's because if the person has the right personality skills they can learn
493:11 personality skills they can learn anything else they need in order to be
493:13 anything else they need in order to be successful but if the person has all the
493:15 successful but if the person has all the skills in the world and a lousy
493:16 skills in the world and a lousy personality there's no way that they can
493:18 personality there's no way that they can take the responsibility of changing it
493:20 take the responsibility of changing it so 85% of our happiness in life
493:23 so 85% of our happiness in life according to the research comes from
493:25 according to the research comes from Happy involvement with other people
493:28 Happy involvement with other people also 85% of all of our problems in life
493:32 also 85% of all of our problems in life come from unhappy involvement with other
493:34 come from unhappy involvement with other people the other 15% in case you're
493:36 people the other 15% in case you're interested comes from
493:38 interested comes from Achievement so it is possible for us to
493:41 Achievement so it is possible for us to get a certain amount of satisfaction in
493:42 get a certain amount of satisfaction in life from Achievement From Success from
493:45 life from Achievement From Success from making money building businesses and
493:47 making money building businesses and careers and so on but most of our
493:49 careers and so on but most of our happiness is going to come from our
493:51 happiness is going to come from our relationships so in this session we're
493:52 relationships so in this session we're going to show you how you can
493:54 going to show you how you can dramatically improve the quality of your
493:56 dramatically improve the quality of your relationships doing some very very
493:58 relationships doing some very very simple
493:59 simple things we know with regard to your
494:01 things we know with regard to your relationships that there is a direct
494:03 relationships that there is a direct relationship between how well you get
494:04 relationship between how well you get along with other people and the health
494:06 along with other people and the health of your personality in fact everybody
494:08 of your personality in fact everybody wants to have a more healthy personality
494:10 wants to have a more healthy personality so let's look at how you measure healthy
494:12 so let's look at how you measure healthy personality what are some of the simple
494:13 personality what are some of the simple measures we've talked about several of
494:15 measures we've talked about several of them in the course of this seminar
494:17 them in the course of this seminar number one measure of healthy
494:18 number one measure of healthy personality of course is how much you
494:21 personality of course is how much you like
494:22 like yourself how much you like yourself is
494:26 yourself how much you like yourself is the core
494:28 the core of your personality people who like
494:30 of your personality people who like themselves a lot have very healthy
494:31 themselves a lot have very healthy personalities number two measure of
494:34 personalities number two measure of healthy personality is how much
494:36 healthy personality is how much responsibility you accept people who
494:39 responsibility you accept people who accept a lot of responsibility for
494:41 accept a lot of responsibility for themselves who look upon themselves as
494:43 themselves who look upon themselves as being the key agents in their lives
494:44 being the key agents in their lives people who refuse to blame other people
494:46 people who refuse to blame other people have very healthy
494:48 have very healthy personalities another example of healthy
494:51 personalities another example of healthy personality is how easily you
494:52 personality is how easily you forgive one of the things we know is is
494:55 forgive one of the things we know is is a direct relationship one to one
494:57 a direct relationship one to one relationship between how freely you
494:59 relationship between how freely you forgive and forget when somebody hurts
495:01 forgive and forget when somebody hurts you and how healthy your personality is
495:03 you and how healthy your personality is number four measure of healthy
495:05 number four measure of healthy personality is what is called positive
495:08 personality is what is called positive expectations the degree to which you
495:10 expectations the degree to which you look for the good in everything and
495:13 look for the good in everything and everybody around you people who have a
495:15 everybody around you people who have a propensity to look for the good are
495:17 propensity to look for the good are truly healthy people and the fourth
495:20 truly healthy people and the fourth measure or the fifth measure of healthy
495:22 measure or the fifth measure of healthy personalities what we're talking about
495:24 personalities what we're talking about today is how well you get along with
495:27 today is how well you get along with others how well you get along with
495:30 others how well you get along with others as a matter of fact you really
495:32 others as a matter of fact you really cannot have a healthy personality in
495:35 cannot have a healthy personality in isolation of your relationships with
495:37 isolation of your relationships with other human beings wonderfully enough
495:40 other human beings wonderfully enough there is a law of reciprocity in this is
495:43 there is a law of reciprocity in this is that the more you like yourself the more
495:44 that the more you like yourself the more you like others the more responsibility
495:46 you like others the more responsibility you accept the better you get along with
495:47 you accept the better you get along with them the more you freely forgive and
495:49 them the more you freely forgive and forget and refuse to hold grudges the
495:50 forget and refuse to hold grudges the more it improves the quality of your
495:52 more it improves the quality of your relationships the more you look for the
495:54 relationships the more you look for the good in people and situations the better
495:56 good in people and situations the better you get along with yourself and them and
495:58 you get along with yourself and them and the better you get along with other
495:59 the better you get along with other people surprise surprise the more you
496:02 people surprise surprise the more you like yourself so it's a wonderful series
496:05 like yourself so it's a wonderful series of reciprocal
496:06 of reciprocal relationships and this brings us to an
496:08 relationships and this brings us to an important law one of the last laws we'll
496:10 important law one of the last laws we'll talk about probably the last it's called
496:11 talk about probably the last it's called The Law of indirect effort and the law
496:14 The Law of indirect effort and the law of indirect effort simply says that in
496:16 of indirect effort simply says that in our
496:17 our relationships with other people we have
496:20 relationships with other people we have a tendency to get the things that we
496:22 a tendency to get the things that we want indirectly faster than directly now
496:25 want indirectly faster than directly now I can give you a very simple for example
496:27 I can give you a very simple for example if you try to go after things directly
496:29 if you try to go after things directly in your relationships often you'll be
496:31 in your relationships often you'll be frustrated often you'll be humiliated
496:32 frustrated often you'll be humiliated you'll be embarrassed and so on let me
496:34 you'll be embarrassed and so on let me give you a couple of example for
496:35 give you a couple of example for instance if you want to impress other
496:37 instance if you want to impress other people okay you want to impress other
496:39 people okay you want to impress other people have you ever tried to impress
496:41 people have you ever tried to impress someone else you some somebody you
496:43 someone else you some somebody you thought was important or valuable and
496:44 thought was important or valuable and you tried to impress them they try to
496:46 you tried to impress them they try to impress someone else what you end up
496:48 impress someone else what you end up doing what you end up doing is exactly
496:49 doing what you end up doing is exactly the opposite but the way that you
496:51 the opposite but the way that you impress other people is simply this is
496:53 impress other people is simply this is be impressed by them be impressed by
496:56 be impressed by them be impressed by them
496:57 them if you want other people to be
496:58 if you want other people to be interested in you what is the way using
497:01 interested in you what is the way using the law of indirect effort what is the
497:03 the law of indirect effort what is the way that you get people to be interested
497:05 way that you get people to be interested in you is of course be interested in
497:07 in you is of course be interested in them if you want people to like you
497:10 them if you want people to like you what's the best way is to like them if
497:12 what's the best way is to like them if you want people to respect you what is
497:14 you want people to respect you what is the best way to respect them in every
497:16 the best way to respect them in every case this law of indirect effort Works
497:19 case this law of indirect effort Works in building our human relationships one
497:21 in building our human relationships one final Point we've talked about some of
497:23 final Point we've talked about some of the mental laws and i' like to just
497:24 the mental laws and i' like to just refer you to three one is the law of
497:26 refer you to three one is the law of sewing and reaping the law of sewing and
497:28 sewing and reaping the law of sewing and reaping says the quality of your
497:30 reaping says the quality of your relationships what you are reaping in
497:32 relationships what you are reaping in your relationships at any given moment
497:34 your relationships at any given moment is a result of what you have sewn in
497:36 is a result of what you have sewn in those relationships what you are getting
497:38 those relationships what you are getting your relationships has very little to do
497:40 your relationships has very little to do with the other person or with fate or
497:42 with the other person or with fate or with background or or nature what it has
497:46 with background or or nature what it has to do with what you have sewn is with
497:48 to do with what you have sewn is with what you have sewn law of Correspondence
497:49 what you have sewn law of Correspondence says that your external world will
497:51 says that your external world will correspond to your internal world as
497:53 correspond to your internal world as within so without especially in your
497:55 within so without especially in your relationships and of course the Law of
497:57 relationships and of course the Law of Attraction says you always attract to
497:58 Attraction says you always attract to you people who are very much like you
498:01 you people who are very much like you are inside if you want to change the
498:03 are inside if you want to change the quality of your relationships the
498:05 quality of your relationships the starting point is to change the quality
498:06 starting point is to change the quality of your relationships with yourself and
498:08 of your relationships with yourself and your external relationships will mirror
498:10 your external relationships will mirror that now when we talk about this how
498:12 that now when we talk about this how well you get along with others let's
498:15 well you get along with others let's show a very very simple graph this is
498:18 show a very very simple graph this is the graph of human personality from the
498:20 the graph of human personality from the most introverted to the most extroverted
498:24 most introverted to the most extroverted or if you like from an in-direct person
498:27 or if you like from an in-direct person to an outer directed person and the
498:29 to an outer directed person and the person who has a truly healthy
498:30 person who has a truly healthy personality can get along with a great
498:33 personality can get along with a great variety of people going from the median
498:35 variety of people going from the median and the median of course is the average
498:37 and the median of course is the average personality not introverted or
498:38 personality not introverted or extroverted now we can superimpose on
498:41 extroverted now we can superimpose on this I guess this is the center we can
498:42 this I guess this is the center we can superimpose on this another graph and
498:45 superimpose on this another graph and this is the graph of self-esteem from
498:48 this is the graph of self-esteem from high self-esteem to low
498:51 high self-esteem to low self-esteem and we find a very
498:52 self-esteem and we find a very interesting thing and this graph is my
498:54 interesting thing and this graph is my own creation we find that the graph is
498:56 own creation we find that the graph is like
498:58 like this that if you have a low level of
499:01 this that if you have a low level of self-esteem say down here you don't
499:04 self-esteem say down here you don't particularly like yourself or you're
499:06 particularly like yourself or you're have have feelings of inferiority or
499:07 have have feelings of inferiority or negativity then the number of people
499:09 negativity then the number of people that you can get along with will be
499:11 that you can get along with will be limited to people who are pretty much in
499:14 limited to people who are pretty much in the middle of the spectrum people who
499:16 the middle of the spectrum people who have if you might you might call them
499:18 have if you might you might call them very easy to get along with neutral
499:20 very easy to get along with neutral Bland personalities however as you go up
499:23 Bland personalities however as you go up the ladder of self-esteem as you like
499:26 the ladder of self-esteem as you like and respect and accept yourself more and
499:28 and respect and accept yourself more and more the number of people that you can
499:30 more the number of people that you can get along with
499:32 get along with expands as your level of self-esteem
499:34 expands as your level of self-esteem goes up you can get along with more and
499:36 goes up you can get along with more and more people across this spectrum if you
499:38 more people across this spectrum if you like and as you get to the point where
499:40 like and as you get to the point where you have high levels of self-esteem and
499:42 you have high levels of self-esteem and self-acceptance you find you can get
499:44 self-acceptance you find you can get along with almost anybody that you meet
499:48 along with almost anybody that you meet and since of course the great business
499:49 and since of course the great business of life is getting along with as many
499:51 of life is getting along with as many people as possible because the more
499:52 people as possible because the more people you can get along with the more
499:54 people you can get along with the more opportunities you have to live an
499:55 opportunities you have to live an interesting fascinating exciting life
499:57 interesting fascinating exciting life wonderful thing is as your self-esteem
499:59 wonderful thing is as your self-esteem goes up by working on yourself the
500:02 goes up by working on yourself the quality of your relationships with
500:03 quality of your relationships with others expands so what is the key to
500:06 others expands so what is the key to raising your own self-esteem wonderfully
500:08 raising your own self-esteem wonderfully enough because of the law of reciprocity
500:11 enough because of the law of reciprocity every single thing that you do that
500:12 every single thing that you do that raises the self-esteem of someone else
500:16 raises the self-esteem of someone else raises your own self-esteem at the same
500:19 raises your own self-esteem at the same time that means you cannot do anything
500:21 time that means you cannot do anything genuinely kind or generous to raise the
500:24 genuinely kind or generous to raise the self-esteem of other people without
500:26 self-esteem of other people without raising your own at the same time if you
500:27 raising your own at the same time if you want to have a truly healthy personality
500:30 want to have a truly healthy personality then you you use the law of
500:32 then you you use the law of reversibility the law of reversability
500:34 reversibility the law of reversability in one of its applications is simply
500:37 in one of its applications is simply this is that everything that you do to
500:39 this is that everything that you do to boost the self-esteem of others boosts
500:41 boost the self-esteem of others boosts your self-esteem simultaneously and so
500:44 your self-esteem simultaneously and so that what we're going to look at in the
500:45 that what we're going to look at in the rest of this session are what are some
500:46 rest of this session are what are some of the things that you can do to raise
500:49 of the things that you can do to raise the self-esteem of other people and
500:51 the self-esteem of other people and simultaneously raise your own so that
500:53 simultaneously raise your own so that you become a healthier personality and
500:55 you become a healthier personality and by the way there's a direct relationship
500:57 by the way there's a direct relationship between happy involvement with other
500:59 between happy involvement with other people and long life Health Energy
501:02 people and long life Health Energy Vitality resistance to disease longevity
501:05 Vitality resistance to disease longevity and everything else and the key the key
501:07 and everything else and the key the key to raising the self-esteem of others is
501:09 to raising the self-esteem of others is to make others feel important make
501:12 to make others feel important make others feel
501:14 others feel important this is and always has been
501:18 important this is and always has been the key to successful Human
501:19 the key to successful Human Relationships uh Mary K Ash has a
501:22 Relationships uh Mary K Ash has a beautiful little analogy she says she
501:24 beautiful little analogy she says she imagines that every person she meets has
501:27 imagines that every person she meets has a sign around their neck that says make
501:30 a sign around their neck that says make me feel important every person she meets
501:32 me feel important every person she meets has this sign it says make me feel
501:34 has this sign it says make me feel important and what she does is she
501:36 important and what she does is she responds to that sign make others feel
501:38 responds to that sign make others feel important treat others well make them
501:42 important treat others well make them feel important and surprisingly enough
501:43 feel important and surprisingly enough you will feel important too the
501:45 you will feel important too the reciprocal principle words now how do we
501:46 reciprocal principle words now how do we make others feel important number one
501:49 make others feel important number one top of the list is eliminate destructive
501:53 top of the list is eliminate destructive criticism eliminate destructive
501:55 criticism eliminate destructive criticism
501:58 criticism there is nothing that causes a person's
502:00 there is nothing that causes a person's self-esteem to go down faster than
502:02 self-esteem to go down faster than destructive criticism remember it is
502:04 destructive criticism remember it is destructive criticism in childhood that
502:06 destructive criticism in childhood that sets us up for Fears of failure fears of
502:08 sets us up for Fears of failure fears of rejection feelings of inferiority
502:10 rejection feelings of inferiority inadequate undeserving guilt and
502:12 inadequate undeserving guilt and everything else and most of us are still
502:14 everything else and most of us are still struggling to get over those feelings
502:16 struggling to get over those feelings because of the inadvertent remarks and
502:19 because of the inadvertent remarks and comments that are parents made to us
502:21 comments that are parents made to us when we were young so eliminate
502:23 when we were young so eliminate destructive criticism never criticize
502:25 destructive criticism never criticize anybody because it de values them it
502:27 anybody because it de values them it kicks the chair out from underneath
502:28 kicks the chair out from underneath their self-esteem and makes them feel
502:30 their self-esteem and makes them feel terrible just doing that making that one
502:33 terrible just doing that making that one change in your life eliminating
502:36 change in your life eliminating destructive criticism will make you a
502:37 destructive criticism will make you a far more attractive person than you can
502:39 far more attractive person than you can possibly imagine if you have a tendency
502:41 possibly imagine if you have a tendency toward
502:42 toward criticism number two is be agreeable be
502:47 criticism number two is be agreeable be agreeable be agreeable that means don't
502:52 agreeable be agreeable that means don't argue I remember when I was a young
502:55 argue I remember when I was a young man I was very fast mou if you like and
502:59 man I was very fast mou if you like and I used to win arguments I used to win
503:01 I used to win arguments I used to win any argument I would do my reading I
503:03 any argument I would do my reading I would do my research and I would be
503:04 would do my research and I would be excellent I got to the point where
503:06 excellent I got to the point where nobody could beat me in an argument you
503:07 nobody could beat me in an argument you know something I also got to the point
503:09 know something I also got to the point where I didn't have anybody to argue
503:10 where I didn't have anybody to argue with I got to the point where nobody
503:11 with I got to the point where nobody wanted to talk to me nobody wanted to
503:13 wanted to talk to me nobody wanted to have anything to do with me I never got
503:15 have anything to do with me I never got invited to anybody's house people
503:16 invited to anybody's house people wouldn't play with me at school because
503:18 wouldn't play with me at school because I was always arguing and even though I
503:20 I was always arguing and even though I was winning I was losing so don't argue
503:23 was winning I was losing so don't argue and the way that you avoid arguing is a
503:26 and the way that you avoid arguing is a very very simple technique it's this it
503:29 very very simple technique it's this it is try first to understand rather than
503:33 is try first to understand rather than to be understood use this law of
503:36 to be understood use this law of indirect effort and try first to
503:38 indirect effort and try first to understand the other person's point of
503:41 understand the other person's point of view what is it that causes the other
503:43 view what is it that causes the other person to think and feel the way they do
503:46 person to think and feel the way they do if you disagree with them the natural
503:48 if you disagree with them the natural tendency of the immature personality is
503:51 tendency of the immature personality is to try to overwhelm the other person
503:53 to try to overwhelm the other person with argument however the tendency of
503:55 with argument however the tendency of the mature personality is to take the
503:57 the mature personality is to take the time to try to understand why the other
503:59 time to try to understand why the other person thinks and feels the way they do
504:01 person thinks and feels the way they do it could very well be that their
504:03 it could very well be that their reasoning is superior to yours at the
504:05 reasoning is superior to yours at the very least there's a beautiful line that
504:07 very least there's a beautiful line that says a man convinced against his will is
504:10 says a man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still one of the
504:12 of the same opinion still one of the most important principles in the
504:14 most important principles in the development of human personality is the
504:17 development of human personality is the principle of
504:18 principle of non-resistance the principle of
504:20 non-resistance the principle of non-resistance was if you like brought
504:22 non-resistance was if you like brought to a head by Mahatma Gandhi in India
504:27 to a head by Mahatma Gandhi in India this year or in in this century when he
504:29 this year or in in this century when he was able if you like to defeat the
504:31 was able if you like to defeat the entire British Empire and take India out
504:34 entire British Empire and take India out of the Empire and put it under home rule
504:37 of the Empire and put it under home rule simply by a process of
504:40 simply by a process of non-resistance Jesus said in the Bible
504:42 non-resistance Jesus said in the Bible he said the New Testament he said agree
504:44 he said the New Testament he said agree with thine adversary quickly now there's
504:48 with thine adversary quickly now there's several reasons for this the number one
504:49 several reasons for this the number one reason is the very best way to keep a
504:51 reason is the very best way to keep a positive mind to be enthusiastic to be
504:53 positive mind to be enthusiastic to be liked and to like other people is not to
504:55 liked and to like other people is not to get into arguments with them to do
504:57 get into arguments with them to do everything possible to avoid an argument
504:59 everything possible to avoid an argument when I first got married I found that
505:02 when I first got married I found that the natural tendency for people when
505:05 the natural tendency for people when they live together is to get into
505:07 they live together is to get into arguments because you disagree about
505:08 arguments because you disagree about times and things and so on but I also
505:10 times and things and so on but I also found a very neat little thing that has
505:12 found a very neat little thing that has served me well and that is to agree
505:15 served me well and that is to agree quickly if when you see an argument
505:16 quickly if when you see an argument coming back off from it agree and try to
505:19 coming back off from it agree and try to see the other person's point of view the
505:21 see the other person's point of view the place to start with being agreeable and
505:24 place to start with being agreeable and refusing to criticize is where
505:27 refusing to criticize is where of course it's at home the interesting
505:29 of course it's at home the interesting thing is and EMT fox say it beautifully
505:31 thing is and EMT fox say it beautifully he says if you must be rude be rude to
505:33 he says if you must be rude be rude to strangers but save your company manners
505:36 strangers but save your company manners for your family naturally we have a
505:38 for your family naturally we have a tendency to go out and be very polite to
505:40 tendency to go out and be very polite to people that we've never seen before and
505:41 people that we've never seen before and we'll never see again and then we come
505:43 we'll never see again and then we come home and we criticize and complain and
505:45 home and we criticize and complain and argue with the people that we love the
505:47 argue with the people that we love the most all right the third principle in
505:51 most all right the third principle in making other people feel important now
505:52 making other people feel important now you don't criticize now you don't argue
505:55 you don't criticize now you don't argue you've now a pleasant positive
505:57 you've now a pleasant positive personality the third thing is
505:59 personality the third thing is acceptance the third Behavior now
506:01 acceptance the third Behavior now acceptance satisfies one of the deep
506:04 acceptance satisfies one of the deep deepest of all subconscious Cravings
506:06 deepest of all subconscious Cravings remember when we come into the world
506:07 remember when we come into the world what we want more than anything else is
506:08 what we want more than anything else is to be accepted by our parents to be
506:10 to be accepted by our parents to be unconditionally loved and approved of
506:12 unconditionally loved and approved of and accepted by our parents and when we
506:14 and accepted by our parents and when we grow up as adults we still need that
506:17 grow up as adults we still need that love and approval and the way that we
506:18 love and approval and the way that we convey acceptance is very simply this
506:21 convey acceptance is very simply this smile whenever you smile at another
506:23 smile whenever you smile at another person you convey acceptance as a matter
506:25 person you convey acceptance as a matter of fact working interpersonal psychology
506:27 of fact working interpersonal psychology and interpersonal Dynamics suggests that
506:29 and interpersonal Dynamics suggests that when two people meet for the first time
506:32 when two people meet for the first time and every subsequent time the very first
506:34 and every subsequent time the very first thing that takes place is a relationship
506:37 thing that takes place is a relationship of acceptance or non-acceptance occurs
506:41 of acceptance or non-acceptance occurs it's conveyed by Body Language by facial
506:43 it's conveyed by Body Language by facial expressions by tone of voice but until
506:45 expressions by tone of voice but until that relationship is established no
506:48 that relationship is established no other communication takes place and you
506:50 other communication takes place and you can trigger that relationship just
506:52 can trigger that relationship just simply by smiling and unconditionally
506:54 simply by smiling and unconditionally accepting another person no matter who
506:56 accepting another person no matter who they are step number four is
507:02 they are step number four is appreciation appreciation like
507:04 appreciation appreciation like acceptance whenever you engage in any
507:06 acceptance whenever you engage in any kind of appreciation you raise the
507:08 kind of appreciation you raise the self-esteem of the other person when you
507:10 self-esteem of the other person when you smile by the way so interesting research
507:13 smile by the way so interesting research seems to suggest that when you smile not
507:14 seems to suggest that when you smile not only do you cause the other person to
507:16 only do you cause the other person to feel positive but the smiling the effort
507:19 feel positive but the smiling the effort of smiling actually triggers endorphins
507:22 of smiling actually triggers endorphins in the brain and gives you a generalized
507:24 in the brain and gives you a generalized sense of well-being and they say even an
507:27 sense of well-being and they say even an insincere smile is better than a sincere
507:29 insincere smile is better than a sincere frown so smile force yourself to smile
507:32 frown so smile force yourself to smile and you you will find that you can act
507:34 and you you will find that you can act your way into feeling like smiling just
507:36 your way into feeling like smiling just by making a habit of smiling at other
507:38 by making a habit of smiling at other people with regard to appreciation how
507:40 people with regard to appreciation how do we express appreciation we use the
507:42 do we express appreciation we use the word thank you over and over again
507:44 word thank you over and over again saying thank you to your spouse saying
507:46 saying thank you to your spouse saying thank you to your children saying thank
507:48 thank you to your children saying thank you to your co-workers and your
507:49 you to your co-workers and your subordinates saying thank you to people
507:51 subordinates saying thank you to people in restaurants saying thank you on a
507:53 in restaurants saying thank you on a regular basis when you feel it
507:56 regular basis when you feel it expressing gratitude raises people's
507:58 expressing gratitude raises people's self-esteem like the mercury in
507:59 self-esteem like the mercury in thermometer on a hot day and you'll find
508:02 thermometer on a hot day and you'll find that the most powerful men and women the
508:05 that the most powerful men and women the most successful men and women tend to be
508:07 most successful men and women tend to be very
508:09 very gracious and they tend to be very
508:12 gracious and they tend to be very courteous the
508:14 courteous the television characterizations or caratz
508:18 television characterizations or caratz of men and women who are powerful but
508:20 of men and women who are powerful but who are peremptory and push people
508:21 who are peremptory and push people around are not very close to the real
508:24 around are not very close to the real world because people become powerful and
508:26 world because people become powerful and successful to the degree to which they
508:29 successful to the degree to which they get the cooperation of other people and
508:31 get the cooperation of other people and people only have a tendency to cooperate
508:33 people only have a tendency to cooperate with others if the
508:35 with others if the others are the type of people that they
508:37 others are the type of people that they like to work with so be gracious be
508:39 like to work with so be gracious be courteous be appreciative say thank you
508:42 courteous be appreciative say thank you Thomas Carlile once said that you can
508:44 Thomas Carlile once said that you can tell a big person by the way they treat
508:46 tell a big person by the way they treat little people and that's very true
508:49 little people and that's very true number
508:50 number five is
508:52 five is admiration admiration means admir ing
508:56 admiration admiration means admir ing the traits of another person if the
508:58 the traits of another person if the person is industrious or punctual or
509:02 person is industrious or punctual or hardworking or accurate or admiring the
509:05 hardworking or accurate or admiring the possessions of another
509:07 possessions of another person you see we get emotionally
509:10 person you see we get emotionally involved and bound up in our characters
509:12 involved and bound up in our characters and our personalities and when somebody
509:14 and our personalities and when somebody recognizes and acknowledges it and
509:17 recognizes and acknowledges it and admires it we feel tremendous we get
509:19 admires it we feel tremendous we get caught up in our possession we're proud
509:21 caught up in our possession we're proud of our homes our cars we're proud of our
509:24 of our homes our cars we're proud of our watches our shoes we're proud of our our
509:26 watches our shoes we're proud of our our children we're proud of our offices and
509:28 children we're proud of our offices and if a person says boy that looks nice or
509:30 if a person says boy that looks nice or that's a greatl looking car or that's a
509:32 that's a greatl looking car or that's a beautiful house or this is a lovely
509:33 beautiful house or this is a lovely living room or that's an excellent suit
509:35 living room or that's an excellent suit anything that we say as long as it is
509:38 anything that we say as long as it is sincere I never say anything that's
509:39 sincere I never say anything that's insincere because people are very very
509:42 insincere because people are very very smart they can detect insincerity
509:44 smart they can detect insincerity remember Abraham Lincoln said everybody
509:47 remember Abraham Lincoln said everybody likes a compliment everybody likes a
509:50 likes a compliment everybody likes a compliment I have worked with
509:52 compliment I have worked with billionaires and I have worked with very
509:54 billionaires and I have worked with very powerful and successful heads of large
509:56 powerful and successful heads of large corporations and conglomerates and I
509:59 corporations and conglomerates and I have found that saying something that I
510:01 have found that saying something that I truly feel that is complimentary to them
510:02 truly feel that is complimentary to them about themselves their businesses their
510:04 about themselves their businesses their work and so on is always responded to as
510:07 work and so on is always responded to as positiv as positively as if you were
510:09 positiv as positively as if you were admiring the trader possession of
510:11 admiring the trader possession of someone who had low self-esteem some
510:13 someone who had low self-esteem some sometimes people who have the highest
510:14 sometimes people who have the highest self-esteem and success are the ones who
510:15 self-esteem and success are the ones who are most in need of admiration and
510:18 are most in need of admiration and appreciation now the sixth thing that
510:21 appreciation now the sixth thing that you can do to raise the self-esteem of
510:24 you can do to raise the self-esteem of others and remember every every time you
510:26 others and remember every every time you raise somebody else's self-esteem you
510:27 raise somebody else's self-esteem you raise your own every time you increase
510:29 raise your own every time you increase the health of somebody else's
510:30 the health of somebody else's personality by the law of indirect
510:32 personality by the law of indirect effort you increase the health of your
510:33 effort you increase the health of your own personality is
510:36 own personality is approval approval satisfies one of the
510:38 approval approval satisfies one of the deepest Cravings of the human psyche the
510:41 deepest Cravings of the human psyche the the the craving to be valued the craving
510:43 the the craving to be valued the craving to be valuable in fact one of the
510:45 to be valuable in fact one of the definitions of self-esteem is the degree
510:48 definitions of self-esteem is the degree to which an individual considers
510:49 to which an individual considers themselves to be praiseworthy a person
510:52 themselves to be praiseworthy a person who considers himself to be praiseworthy
510:54 who considers himself to be praiseworthy has high self-esteem so so when you give
510:56 has high self-esteem so so when you give approval or praise it's been
510:58 approval or praise it's been demonstrated I think it was uh Napoleon
511:01 demonstrated I think it was uh Napoleon who said I have made an incredible
511:02 who said I have made an incredible Discovery men will die for ribbons in
511:06 Discovery men will die for ribbons in other words he found that soldiers who
511:07 other words he found that soldiers who would not give their life for any amount
511:09 would not give their life for any amount of money would risk their lives in
511:11 of money would risk their lives in battle for the praise and approval
511:13 battle for the praise and approval represented by the ribbons and the
511:15 represented by the ribbons and the metals that he handed out key to keys to
511:18 metals that he handed out key to keys to approval number one is be immediate the
511:22 approval number one is be immediate the closer the praise is to the thing that
511:25 closer the praise is to the thing that you pray the more likely it is the
511:27 you pray the more likely it is the person will repeat it if you want your
511:28 person will repeat it if you want your children or your employees to continue
511:30 children or your employees to continue doing something as soon as they do it
511:31 doing something as soon as they do it say boy that's a good job number two is
511:33 say boy that's a good job number two is be specific say boy you did a wonderful
511:36 be specific say boy you did a wonderful job on that lawn that house that letter
511:38 job on that lawn that house that letter whatever it happens to be the more
511:40 whatever it happens to be the more immediate and specific the praise the
511:41 immediate and specific the praise the more rapidly it raises self-esteem the
511:43 more rapidly it raises self-esteem the more likely it is that the behavior will
511:45 more likely it is that the behavior will be repeated and third of all uh be
511:48 be repeated and third of all uh be public with your
511:49 public with your praise whenever you give recognition in
511:54 praise whenever you give recognition in public it doubles or triples the impact
511:56 public it doubles or triples the impact because the effect of other people's
511:59 because the effect of other people's opinions on our behavior is tremendous
512:01 opinions on our behavior is tremendous in fact there's a lot of evidence that
512:03 in fact there's a lot of evidence that suggests that we are who we are and we
512:05 suggests that we are who we are and we do what we do because of the way we
512:07 do what we do because of the way we think other people think of us we're
512:09 think other people think of us we're strongly affected by other people's
512:11 strongly affected by other people's opinions all right number seven is
512:13 opinions all right number seven is attention now attention is one of the
512:16 attention now attention is one of the most powerful ways to raise self-esteem
512:18 most powerful ways to raise self-esteem attention means listening why is
512:22 attention means listening why is attention and listening so powerful is
512:24 attention and listening so powerful is because we always pay attention
512:25 because we always pay attention attention to that which we value and we
512:28 attention to that which we value and we always ignore that which we do not value
512:31 always ignore that which we do not value so if you want to tell a person that you
512:34 so if you want to tell a person that you value them that they are in effect
512:36 value them that they are in effect valuable pay close attention to them
512:39 valuable pay close attention to them listen to them spend time with them now
512:42 listen to them spend time with them now here's some of the keys to attention
512:44 here's some of the keys to attention number one is listen attentively listen
512:47 number one is listen attentively listen attentively listen without
512:50 attentively listen without interruptions listen patiently listen
512:53 interruptions listen patiently listen closely number two is
512:56 closely number two is pause before
512:58 pause before replying pause before replying don't
513:02 replying pause before replying don't interrupt let the person say everything
513:04 interrupt let the person say everything that they have to say and pause wait
513:06 that they have to say and pause wait show them that you are really
513:07 show them that you are really considering what they're saying number
513:09 considering what they're saying number three is question for clarification
513:12 three is question for clarification instead of rushing in to speak question
513:14 instead of rushing in to speak question to
513:15 to clarify what the person has said which
513:17 clarify what the person has said which is a way of telling them for sure that
513:20 is a way of telling them for sure that you're really listening and here's the
513:21 you're really listening and here's the best of all questions how do you
513:24 best of all questions how do you mean when you're listening to a person
513:26 mean when you're listening to a person speak and you want to fully understand
513:27 speak and you want to fully understand and you want to tell them that you're
513:28 and you want to tell them that you're listening say how do you mean exactly
513:30 listening say how do you mean exactly and ask for them to explain to you
513:32 and ask for them to explain to you clearly and finally remember the
513:35 clearly and finally remember the boomerang and the boomerang says simply
513:38 boomerang and the boomerang says simply this it says that
513:41 this it says that any genuine emotion expressed by you
513:45 any genuine emotion expressed by you toward any other
513:47 toward any other person is going to Boomerang back on you
513:50 person is going to Boomerang back on you just like the law of sewing and reaping
513:52 just like the law of sewing and reaping the law of cause and effect the Law of
513:54 the law of cause and effect the Law of Attraction the law of correspondent says
513:56 Attraction the law of correspondent says that any genuine emotion now that's a
513:58 that any genuine emotion now that's a genuine emotion in other words if you
514:00 genuine emotion in other words if you say something positive about someone
514:02 say something positive about someone else it's going to go out to that person
514:04 else it's going to go out to that person and it's going to come back and it's
514:05 and it's going to come back and it's going to Boomerang on you so say only
514:08 going to Boomerang on you so say only good things when you talk about other
514:10 good things when you talk about other people talk about them as though what
514:11 people talk about them as though what you were saying was going to be printed
514:13 you were saying was going to be printed in the paper when you think about other
514:15 in the paper when you think about other people send out positive thoughts and
514:18 people send out positive thoughts and positive
514:19 positive ideas think all the time about how you
514:23 ideas think all the time about how you can make other people feel important
514:25 can make other people feel important treat other people as though they were
514:27 treat other people as though they were the most valuable people in the world
514:29 the most valuable people in the world because to them they believe they are
514:31 because to them they believe they are and the final rule with regard to
514:33 and the final rule with regard to Superior human relations is what we call
514:35 Superior human relations is what we call the Golden
514:36 the Golden Rule Rule simply says love your neighbor
514:40 Rule Rule simply says love your neighbor as yourself like your neighbor as
514:43 as yourself like your neighbor as yourself treat your neighbor as yourself
514:46 yourself treat your neighbor as yourself ask yourself in any situation how would
514:48 ask yourself in any situation how would I like to be treated in this situation
514:50 I like to be treated in this situation ask yourself when you're in a difficult
514:53 ask yourself when you're in a difficult situation with someone or an argument or
514:55 situation with someone or an argument or a disagreement
514:56 a disagreement say if I if the conditions were reversed
514:59 say if I if the conditions were reversed how would I like to be treated in this
515:00 how would I like to be treated in this situation and here's something that you
515:02 situation and here's something that you can do pick a role model pick the person
515:05 can do pick a role model pick the person that you admire more than anybody else
515:07 that you admire more than anybody else in the world in terms of their
515:09 in the world in terms of their personality and whenever you're in a
515:11 personality and whenever you're in a situation with someone else pretend you
515:13 situation with someone else pretend you are like that person many years ago when
515:16 are like that person many years ago when I was traveling in Africa I worked with
515:18 I was traveling in Africa I worked with Dr Albert schwitzer one of the most
515:20 Dr Albert schwitzer one of the most beautiful men who ever lived and so very
515:21 beautiful men who ever lived and so very often when I'm in a situation with other
515:23 often when I'm in a situation with other people I think how would Albert schweit
515:26 people I think how would Albert schweit act in this situation or I think how
515:28 act in this situation or I think how would Jesus of Nazareth act in this
515:30 would Jesus of Nazareth act in this situation and if you use that as your
515:33 situation and if you use that as your role model and if you use the Credo of
515:35 role model and if you use the Credo of making other people feel important as
515:37 making other people feel important as your Guiding Light you will develop a
515:40 your Guiding Light you will develop a success personality that will lead you
515:42 success personality that will lead you to accomplishing everything that you
515:44 to accomplishing everything that you want in life in a world filled with
515:46 want in life in a world filled with other people
516:02 session 25 building Superior relationships one of the oldest cliches
516:04 relationships one of the oldest cliches is that be it ever so humble there's no
516:06 is that be it ever so humble there's no place like home Benjamin Dy the great
516:08 place like home Benjamin Dy the great Prime Minister of England once said that
516:10 Prime Minister of England once said that no success in public life can compensate
516:13 no success in public life can compensate for failure in the home and when we
516:15 for failure in the home and when we started this seminar uh several sessions
516:17 started this seminar uh several sessions ago we talked about the importance of
516:18 ago we talked about the importance of the power of love and that how you and I
516:21 the power of love and that how you and I as human beings are love Tropic
516:23 as human beings are love Tropic organisms that everything that we do is
516:25 organisms that everything that we do is either to get love or to compensate for
516:28 either to get love or to compensate for the lack of love and there's no place
516:30 the lack of love and there's no place where this is more important than in the
516:32 where this is more important than in the quality of the intimate relationships
516:34 quality of the intimate relationships that we form with other people in fact
516:36 that we form with other people in fact one of the measures of mental health
516:38 one of the measures of mental health according to Abraham maslo is your
516:40 according to Abraham maslo is your ability to enter into long-term intimate
516:43 ability to enter into long-term intimate loving relationships with other members
516:46 loving relationships with other members of the human race and I want to talk in
516:48 of the human race and I want to talk in this session about some of the things
516:50 this session about some of the things that might help you which have helped me
516:52 that might help you which have helped me to enjoy a higher quality of loving
516:54 to enjoy a higher quality of loving relationship with your mate or your
516:56 relationship with your mate or your spouse or the person that is most
516:58 spouse or the person that is most important to you first of all let's talk
517:01 important to you first of all let's talk about the idea of the of what makes a
517:04 about the idea of the of what makes a relationship successful and I think that
517:05 relationship successful and I think that there are six keys that make a
517:07 there are six keys that make a relationship successful six keys to
517:10 relationship successful six keys to successful relationships let me explain
517:12 successful relationships let me explain them to you one at a time number one is
517:15 them to you one at a time number one is of course similarities
517:18 of course similarities attract similarities
517:21 attract similarities attract similarities attract in almost
517:24 attract similarities attract in almost all areas but especially in the areas of
517:27 all areas but especially in the areas of values in the areas of attitudes toward
517:30 values in the areas of attitudes toward the critical things like
517:32 the critical things like children like money do you know that and
517:35 children like money do you know that and like sex for instance that arguments
517:37 like sex for instance that arguments over money are not one of the number one
517:40 over money are not one of the number one reasons why marriages break down young
517:42 reasons why marriages break down young marriages break down and probably older
517:44 marriages break down and probably older marriages too arguments over sex are
517:46 marriages too arguments over sex are number two arguments over Leisure Time
517:48 number two arguments over Leisure Time what we're going to do when we're not
517:50 what we're going to do when we're not working are the number three reason why
517:53 working are the number three reason why relationships break down so similarities
517:56 relationships break down so similarities are very very important it's sort of
517:58 are very very important it's sort of like the when when you meet the person
518:00 like the when when you meet the person who is right for you there will be a
518:01 who is right for you there will be a chemistry they call it a right chemistry
518:04 chemistry they call it a right chemistry it feels good it feels right because you
518:06 it feels good it feels right because you will be in accord or in
518:08 will be in accord or in Harmony on almost all of the critical
518:11 Harmony on almost all of the critical areas of life we find that virtually all
518:14 areas of life we find that virtually all of your difficulties come is when you CL
518:16 of your difficulties come is when you CL from clashing with people who have
518:18 from clashing with people who have different opinions and ideas from you
518:19 different opinions and ideas from you now with regard to similarities the most
518:21 now with regard to similarities the most important part of you as a human being
518:24 important part of you as a human being is yourself concept your central belief
518:27 is yourself concept your central belief system and your central belief system
518:28 system and your central belief system with regard to your relationship to the
518:30 with regard to your relationship to the world is summarized in your values what
518:33 world is summarized in your values what you think is right what you think is
518:35 you think is right what you think is wrong what you think is good what you
518:37 wrong what you think is good what you think is unacceptable your values are
518:39 think is unacceptable your values are very important and any Clash with your
518:42 very important and any Clash with your values in life will be destructive to
518:44 values in life will be destructive to your mental health outside your values
518:46 your mental health outside your values you have your mental life these are your
518:48 you have your mental life these are your ideas they may be your political
518:50 ideas they may be your political opinions they may have to do with
518:51 opinions they may have to do with philosophy and so on they're not as
518:53 philosophy and so on they're not as important as your values because they
518:54 important as your values because they change far more readily outside that you
518:57 change far more readily outside that you have your emotional life or your
518:59 have your emotional life or your emotional temperament you'll find that
519:01 emotional temperament you'll find that people with similar emotional
519:02 people with similar emotional temperaments seem to get along the best
519:04 temperaments seem to get along the best and finally on the outer ring the least
519:07 and finally on the outer ring the least important is the
519:10 important is the physical is the physical attraction or
519:13 physical is the physical attraction or physical similarity or physical
519:14 physical similarity or physical comparisons however there's a lot of
519:16 comparisons however there's a lot of research that shows that people tend to
519:18 research that shows that people tend to marry people who look very similar to
519:20 marry people who look very similar to themselves that the highest form of
519:22 themselves that the highest form of flattery is marriage that we tend to be
519:24 flattery is marriage that we tend to be attracted to people who have facial
519:26 attracted to people who have facial features very similar to our own that's
519:28 features very similar to our own that's why they say when people grow older they
519:30 why they say when people grow older they start to look like each other well if
519:31 start to look like each other well if they examine the wedding photographs
519:33 they examine the wedding photographs they find that they started off looking
519:35 they find that they started off looking like each other and that's why they look
519:36 like each other and that's why they look like each other more when they go older
519:38 like each other more when they go older number two key to successful
519:40 number two key to successful relationships is that Opposites
519:43 relationships is that Opposites Attract Opposites Attract but Opposites
519:46 Attract Opposites Attract but Opposites Attract in only one area and this is
519:49 Attract in only one area and this is important and that's in
519:50 important and that's in temperament you see
519:53 temperament you see nature requires balance in all things
519:57 nature requires balance in all things yin and yang active and passive so
520:00 yin and yang active and passive so nature requires that there be a balance
520:02 nature requires that there be a balance in temperament and extroverted person
520:04 in temperament and extroverted person will be most compatible with an
520:05 will be most compatible with an introverted person two people who are
520:07 introverted person two people who are equally introverted or extroverted will
520:09 equally introverted or extroverted will be most compatible but here's a very
520:11 be most compatible but here's a very simple test for relationships male or
520:13 simple test for relationships male or female male male female female is what
520:15 female male male female female is what we call the conversation test in any
520:18 we call the conversation test in any conversation between two people who are
520:21 conversation between two people who are temperamentally suited there will be the
520:24 temperamentally suited there will be the entire period of time allocated for
520:26 entire period of time allocated for conversation will be full of easy
520:29 conversation will be full of easy conversation plus about 10% of easy
520:32 conversation plus about 10% of easy silences so that if a person each person
520:35 silences so that if a person each person will have an opportunity to talk all
520:36 will have an opportunity to talk all they want to talk and each person will
520:38 they want to talk and each person will have an opportunity to listen all they
520:39 have an opportunity to listen all they want to listen and there'll be 10% of
520:41 want to listen and there'll be 10% of comfortable silences now you may have a
520:44 comfortable silences now you may have a person who gets all their talking done
520:45 person who gets all their talking done in 30% of the time and you may have
520:48 in 30% of the time and you may have another person who gets all their
520:49 another person who gets all their talking done in 60% of the time with
520:51 talking done in 60% of the time with that 10% Gap and these people will be
520:53 that 10% Gap and these people will be very compatible however where you have
520:56 very compatible however where you have problems in relationships is you have
520:58 problems in relationships is you have people who only like to talk 30% on the
521:01 people who only like to talk 30% on the one side and a person only likes to talk
521:02 one side and a person only likes to talk 30% on the other side so you have big
521:04 30% on the other side so you have big gaps of uncomfortable silence where
521:07 gaps of uncomfortable silence where neither has anything to say or the other
521:09 neither has anything to say or the other example is where you have two people
521:11 example is where you have two people each of whom have to talk 70% of the
521:13 each of whom have to talk 70% of the time so you have a big Clash over
521:15 time so you have a big Clash over airtime everybody there's always a clash
521:18 airtime everybody there's always a clash over who's going to be able to speak the
521:19 over who's going to be able to speak the most and you'll find that this
521:21 most and you'll find that this relationship will be incompatible too so
521:23 relationship will be incompatible too so opposites attracts but only in
521:24 opposites attracts but only in temperament in all other Essentials
521:27 temperament in all other Essentials similarities attract this brings us to
521:29 similarities attract this brings us to number three number three key to success
521:32 number three number three key to success in relationships is
521:34 in relationships is commitment commitment is very important
521:37 commitment commitment is very important and in order for a relationship to work
521:40 and in order for a relationship to work a person should have a total commitment
521:42 a person should have a total commitment to the relationship why mean which me
521:43 to the relationship why mean which me means 100% and we'll talk about this a
521:46 means 100% and we'll talk about this a little bit later but one of the most
521:48 little bit later but one of the most beautiful definitions of love in
521:50 beautiful definitions of love in relationships that I ever read was from
521:51 relationships that I ever read was from Dr Scott peek where he said that love is
521:53 Dr Scott peek where he said that love is the total commitment to the full
521:56 the total commitment to the full development of the potential of the
521:58 development of the potential of the other love is your total commitment to
522:01 other love is your total commitment to the full development of the potential of
522:03 the full development of the potential of the other person and this to me lays to
522:06 the other person and this to me lays to rest all the arguments over male female
522:08 rest all the arguments over male female women's lib and so on and so forth
522:09 women's lib and so on and so forth because if a person truly loves another
522:11 because if a person truly loves another person they want that person to develop
522:14 person they want that person to develop their full potential as a human being
522:15 their full potential as a human being and they will do everything possible to
522:17 and they will do everything possible to make that possible commitment is really
522:19 make that possible commitment is really I have a good friend named Charlie Jones
522:21 I have a good friend named Charlie Jones who talks about divorce he said the way
522:23 who talks about divorce he said the way to deal with divorce is very simple he
522:24 to deal with divorce is very simple he says never consider it he said don't
522:26 says never consider it he said don't even think about it don't talk about it
522:28 even think about it don't talk about it never even consider the possibility of
522:30 never even consider the possibility of divorce he says murder yes but never
522:32 divorce he says murder yes but never divorce now and maybe that's a little
522:34 divorce now and maybe that's a little bit stringent but the key to a
522:37 bit stringent but the key to a successful relationship is the depth of
522:39 successful relationship is the depth of commitment that each person has most
522:41 commitment that each person has most dangerous thing in a relationship is
522:43 dangerous thing in a relationship is when people start thinking in terms of
522:44 when people start thinking in terms of well if it doesn't work out I can go
522:45 well if it doesn't work out I can go somewhere else if it doesn't work out we
522:47 somewhere else if it doesn't work out we always get a divorce relationships like
522:49 always get a divorce relationships like that almost invariably end in a divorce
522:52 that almost invariably end in a divorce number four key to a successful
522:54 number four key to a successful relationship
522:55 relationship is similar self-concepts
522:58 is similar self-concepts attract similar self-concepts
523:01 attract similar self-concepts attract now this means when we talk
523:03 attract now this means when we talk about similar self- Concepts we talk
523:05 about similar self- Concepts we talk about how much you like yourself how
523:07 about how much you like yourself how much you value yourself we talk about
523:09 much you value yourself we talk about what you might call the happiness scale
523:11 what you might call the happiness scale the happiness scale means how happy are
523:14 the happiness scale means how happy are you on a scale of 1 to 10 that's the
523:18 you on a scale of 1 to 10 that's the basic question you will find that you
523:19 basic question you will find that you will always be most compatible with a
523:21 will always be most compatible with a person who is just about as happy as you
523:24 person who is just about as happy as you are if ever you get involved in a
523:26 are if ever you get involved in a relationship with a person who is
523:27 relationship with a person who is unhappy and you allow yourself to be
523:29 unhappy and you allow yourself to be diluted into believing that you're going
523:31 diluted into believing that you're going to bring them up and they're going to be
523:33 to bring them up and they're going to be happy at your level because you're going
523:35 happy at your level because you're going to help them you're entering into a
523:36 to help them you're entering into a Fool's game because most people who are
523:38 Fool's game because most people who are unhappy are quite happy being unhappy
523:40 unhappy are quite happy being unhappy and they have no intention of changing
523:43 and they have no intention of changing there as a matter of fact the unhappiest
523:44 there as a matter of fact the unhappiest relationships I've ever seen in my life
523:46 relationships I've ever seen in my life are when a generally happy positive
523:48 are when a generally happy positive person gets involved with a negative
523:50 person gets involved with a negative person and tries to bring them up to
523:52 person and tries to bring them up to their level because it never works so
523:55 their level because it never works so ask yourself this how happy is the
523:57 ask yourself this how happy is the person that you're thinking about
523:58 person that you're thinking about getting involved with and understand
524:00 getting involved with and understand that is very rare except by tremendous
524:02 that is very rare except by tremendous effort that people change their level of
524:04 effort that people change their level of Happiness this brings us to number
524:06 Happiness this brings us to number five key to success in relationships is
524:11 five key to success in relationships is liking now liking which has to do with
524:14 liking now liking which has to do with respect is more important than being in
524:17 respect is more important than being in love and more permanently satisfying
524:20 love and more permanently satisfying because being in love although it comes
524:23 because being in love although it comes and goes is a passing condition ition
524:26 and goes is a passing condition ition being in love is something that es and
524:28 being in love is something that es and flows as a matter of fact you can be
524:30 flows as a matter of fact you can be furiously angry with your mate or with
524:32 furiously angry with your mate or with your spouse and still have an excellent
524:34 your spouse and still have an excellent relationship and you can still never
524:35 relationship and you can still never consider breaking up as long as you like
524:38 consider breaking up as long as you like and respect them but if the liking and
524:40 and respect them but if the liking and the respecting goes out of a
524:41 the respecting goes out of a relationship the being in love or the
524:43 relationship the being in love or the infatuation is never enough to hold it
524:45 infatuation is never enough to hold it together now here's a simple test with
524:47 together now here's a simple test with regard to liking it's what I call the
524:49 regard to liking it's what I call the best friend test the best friend test
524:52 best friend test the best friend test simply says that if you are ideally
524:55 simply says that if you are ideally suited to your mate your mate will be
524:58 suited to your mate your mate will be your best friend that there will be
525:00 your best friend that there will be nobody that you would rather spend time
525:01 nobody that you would rather spend time with there will be nobody that you trust
525:03 with there will be nobody that you trust more there will be nobody that you would
525:05 more there will be nobody that you would be more open honest candid and Frank
525:08 be more open honest candid and Frank with that your mate or your spouse will
525:10 with that your mate or your spouse will be your best friend it's the simplest
525:12 be your best friend it's the simplest measure of all because you cannot force
525:14 measure of all because you cannot force being best friends best friends just
525:16 being best friends best friends just happens naturally when everything is
525:18 happens naturally when everything is right on the other hand if you are in a
525:21 right on the other hand if you are in a situation where you could not tell your
525:23 situation where you could not tell your spouse or your mate all a lot of the
525:25 spouse or your mate all a lot of the things that are important to you where
525:26 things that are important to you where you talk to other people more than you
525:28 you talk to other people more than you talk to them where you have a lot of
525:29 talk to them where you have a lot of secrets that you keep from them or a lot
525:31 secrets that you keep from them or a lot of things that you keep inside yourself
525:33 of things that you keep inside yourself then generally speaking you are probably
525:35 then generally speaking you are probably not involved with your best friend and
525:38 not involved with your best friend and the prognosis for your relationship is
525:40 the prognosis for your relationship is not very good number
525:43 not very good number six uh requirement for happiness and
525:47 six uh requirement for happiness and relationships
525:49 relationships is
525:51 is Communications now Communications
525:55 Communications now Communications or communicating back and forth in a
525:57 or communicating back and forth in a relationship is the Elixir that keeps a
526:00 relationship is the Elixir that keeps a relationship alive without it a
526:02 relationship alive without it a relationship dies without it the
526:04 relationship dies without it the relationship has no possibility and good
526:06 relationship has no possibility and good Communications in a relationship not
526:08 Communications in a relationship not only require speaking and listening not
526:11 only require speaking and listening not only require trying to understand give
526:12 only require trying to understand give and take but they require time and they
526:16 and take but they require time and they require a high
526:18 require a high quality and a high quantity of
526:21 quality and a high quantity of time very important quality and quantity
526:24 time very important quality and quantity of time
526:25 of time what my wife and I do on a regular basis
526:28 what my wife and I do on a regular basis is we will go on a trip and sometimes
526:30 is we will go on a trip and sometimes we'll go on a trip to a place that takes
526:31 we'll go on a trip to a place that takes 3 or 4 hours and we'll leave the
526:32 3 or 4 hours and we'll leave the children with a housekeeper or someone
526:34 children with a housekeeper or someone else and we will drive in that car no
526:36 else and we will drive in that car no radio no tapes for three or four hours
526:38 radio no tapes for three or four hours and just talk and we'll get some of the
526:40 and just talk and we'll get some of the highest quality and quantity of talk and
526:42 highest quality and quantity of talk and conversation and so if you use that
526:44 conversation and so if you use that analogy what what what you might call a
526:46 analogy what what what you might call a car trip analogy which is uninterrupted
526:50 car trip analogy which is uninterrupted conversation with your spouse over an
526:53 conversation with your spouse over an extended period of time you find the
526:55 extended period of time you find the most remarkable things will happen but
526:57 most remarkable things will happen but if you're not spending a high quality
526:58 if you're not spending a high quality and quantity of time with your spouse or
527:00 and quantity of time with your spouse or your mate the relationship is going to
527:02 your mate the relationship is going to suffer and many relationships will die
527:03 suffer and many relationships will die as a result now two critical points with
527:06 as a result now two critical points with regard to this from my point of view as
527:08 regard to this from my point of view as a man number one is remember that men
527:11 a man number one is remember that men are not mind readers one of the hardest
527:14 are not mind readers one of the hardest things for women to understand is that
527:16 things for women to understand is that men are not mind readers they do not
527:19 men are not mind readers they do not know what women mean or what women want
527:22 know what women mean or what women want them to think half the time and it is
527:24 them to think half the time and it is not fair for women to expect men to know
527:28 not fair for women to expect men to know what is bothering them or what they want
527:30 what is bothering them or what they want or what they need and number two
527:32 or what they need and number two remember this that men are direct women
527:35 remember this that men are direct women are
527:36 are indirect what does this
527:38 indirect what does this mean
527:40 mean well if a man and a woman are driving
527:42 well if a man and a woman are driving down the street and the woman is thirsty
527:46 down the street and the woman is thirsty she might say as they pass a McDonald's
527:48 she might say as they pass a McDonald's she might say honey are you thirsty and
527:51 she might say honey are you thirsty and he'll say nope I keep on driving what
527:53 he'll say nope I keep on driving what she was trying to say was she was
527:55 she was trying to say was she was thirsty why don't they stop now the man
527:56 thirsty why don't they stop now the man on the other hand if he saw the
527:58 on the other hand if he saw the McDonald's was thirsty says I'm thirsty
527:59 McDonald's was thirsty says I'm thirsty let's stop so women tend to be indirect
528:02 let's stop so women tend to be indirect and they get really angry when men don't
528:04 and they get really angry when men don't understand what they were trying to say
528:06 understand what they were trying to say so one of the best things that you can
528:07 so one of the best things that you can do in Communications is be a little bit
528:09 do in Communications is be a little bit more direct be a little bit more um a
528:12 more direct be a little bit more um a little bit more clear a little bit more
528:13 little bit more clear a little bit more specific now an important point with
528:15 specific now an important point with regard to men according to recent survey
528:18 regard to men according to recent survey recent study it shows that men are 95%
528:21 recent study it shows that men are 95% more likely to interrupt a woman in a
528:23 more likely to interrupt a woman in a conversation than a woman is likely to
528:26 conversation than a woman is likely to interrupt a man and one of the best
528:28 interrupt a man and one of the best things that you can do in a relationship
528:30 things that you can do in a relationship you men out there is take time to listen
528:32 you men out there is take time to listen to your spouses one of the gentlemen who
528:34 to your spouses one of the gentlemen who went through my seminar said the most
528:36 went through my seminar said the most valuable thing he got from this part on
528:37 valuable thing he got from this part on human relations was when you you go home
528:40 human relations was when you you go home at night before you the man the direct
528:42 at night before you the man the direct person the extrovert starts telling your
528:45 person the extrovert starts telling your woman all about everything that went on
528:47 woman all about everything that went on during the course of the day ask her how
528:50 during the course of the day ask her how her day has been ask her how her day has
528:52 her day has been ask her how her day has unfolding what has happened to her how
528:54 unfolding what has happened to her how things going with her try doing that as
528:56 things going with her try doing that as a discipline and you'll be literally
528:58 a discipline and you'll be literally astonished at what it will do for your
528:59 astonished at what it will do for your relationship and then listen without
529:01 relationship and then listen without interruptions listen and pause before
529:03 interruptions listen and pause before replying listen and ask questions for
529:05 replying listen and ask questions for clarification listen and give positive
529:07 clarification listen and give positive feedback all right now let's talk about
529:10 feedback all right now let's talk about some of the problems in
529:20 relationships problems in relationships number one problem in
529:21 number one problem in relationship lack of commitment now lack
529:25 relationship lack of commitment now lack of commitment is amazingly common
529:27 of commitment is amazingly common because we live in a society today where
529:29 because we live in a society today where it is considered clever to protect
529:31 it is considered clever to protect yourself by not making too deep a
529:32 yourself by not making too deep a commitment to anybody so what people do
529:34 commitment to anybody so what people do is they often get involved in
529:35 is they often get involved in relationships but they only get involved
529:37 relationships but they only get involved up to their toes lack of commitment is
529:39 up to their toes lack of commitment is often expressed in a trading
529:40 often expressed in a trading relationships a trading relationship is
529:43 relationships a trading relationship is a relationship where one says you do
529:45 a relationship where one says you do your share and I'll do my share you put
529:46 your share and I'll do my share you put in your amount I'll put in my amount and
529:48 in your amount I'll put in my amount and neither one of them wants to get in 100%
529:52 neither one of them wants to get in 100% neither one of them wants to run the
529:53 neither one of them wants to run the risk of being rejected so by both of
529:57 risk of being rejected so by both of them not running the risk of being
529:58 them not running the risk of being rejected they both end up being rejected
530:00 rejected they both end up being rejected and the key to resolving this as I said
530:03 and the key to resolving this as I said before is for each individually to make
530:06 before is for each individually to make a 100% commitment to this relationship
530:09 a 100% commitment to this relationship and say that no matter what happens I
530:10 and say that no matter what happens I will never leave this relationship make
530:12 will never leave this relationship make that decision to get in either get in or
530:15 that decision to get in either get in or get out now if you feel that you can't
530:16 get out now if you feel that you can't make the commitment that will tell you
530:17 make the commitment that will tell you something that's very important for you
530:19 something that's very important for you to know if your spouse feels that he or
530:21 to know if your spouse feels that he or she can't make the commitment or mate
530:23 she can't make the commitment or mate feels that he or she can't make make a
530:24 feels that he or she can't make make a commitment that will tell them something
530:27 commitment that will tell them something too but in either case either get in or
530:29 too but in either case either get in or get out it will relieve an enormous
530:30 get out it will relieve an enormous amount of tension and stress in a
530:32 amount of tension and stress in a relationship now number two is trying to
530:34 relationship now number two is trying to change the other or expecting the other
530:37 change the other or expecting the other to change you see when we try to change
530:39 to change you see when we try to change another person you know what we're
530:41 another person you know what we're saying we're saying in effect that
530:44 saying we're saying in effect that you're not good enough the way you are
530:46 you're not good enough the way you are you don't come up to my standards how
530:48 you don't come up to my standards how many times to people enter into
530:49 many times to people enter into marriages with one or the other saying
530:51 marriages with one or the other saying well I'll change him or her as time goes
530:53 well I'll change him or her as time goes on they'll come they'll shape up more
530:55 on they'll come they'll shape up more into the model that I desire or I
530:58 into the model that I desire or I approve of whenever you try to change
531:00 approve of whenever you try to change another person and why do we try to
531:01 another person and why do we try to change another person we keep
531:03 change another person we keep disapproving of the person they are and
531:05 disapproving of the person they are and the things that they do we keep asking
531:07 the things that they do we keep asking them to be different we want them to be
531:08 them to be different we want them to be more of this or less of that now that
531:12 more of this or less of that now that great American philosopher Flip Wilson
531:14 great American philosopher Flip Wilson had a wonderful expression which he used
531:15 had a wonderful expression which he used to cover this and it's simply this he
531:17 to cover this and it's simply this he says what you sees is what you
531:21 says what you sees is what you get don't enter into a relationship
531:24 get don't enter into a relationship with the intention of changing the other
531:26 with the intention of changing the other person because what you sees is what you
531:29 person because what you sees is what you get people don't change unless they
531:31 get people don't change unless they intensely desire to change and are
531:33 intensely desire to change and are willing to practice some of the things
531:35 willing to practice some of the things we talked about in this seminar however
531:37 we talked about in this seminar however if you just stop trying to change the
531:39 if you just stop trying to change the other person and accept them
531:41 other person and accept them unconditionally with unconditional love
531:43 unconditionally with unconditional love acceptance and approval often they will
531:46 acceptance and approval often they will bend over backwards to change for you
531:49 bend over backwards to change for you but there's something within every human
531:50 but there's something within every human being that resists being changed by
531:53 being that resists being changed by another person
531:56 another person number three cause of problems or in
531:59 number three cause of problems or in relationships
532:00 relationships is
532:08 jealousy now jealousy has to do with the fear of failure why do where where does
532:10 fear of failure why do where where does jealousy come from it comes from deep
532:12 jealousy come from it comes from deep down inside we don't feel that we're
532:14 down inside we don't feel that we're good enough it comes from this old
532:15 good enough it comes from this old feeling of low self-esteem I'm not good
532:18 feeling of low self-esteem I'm not good enough this is something by the way that
532:22 enough this is something by the way that is rooted in our inferiority complex
532:24 is rooted in our inferiority complex Alfred Adler the great psychologist the
532:27 Alfred Adler the great psychologist the disciple of Freud said that the natural
532:29 disciple of Freud said that the natural human condition is that of feeling
532:31 human condition is that of feeling inferior the reason for that is because
532:33 inferior the reason for that is because we grow up as children in a world of
532:34 we grow up as children in a world of giants where we are made to feel
532:36 giants where we are made to feel inferior because we're so small and that
532:39 inferior because we're so small and that as adults we are continually struggling
532:40 as adults we are continually struggling against this inferiority complex this
532:43 against this inferiority complex this feeling that I'm not good enough leads
532:44 feeling that I'm not good enough leads to feelings of jealousy the feeling is
532:46 to feelings of jealousy the feeling is that that other person could never love
532:48 that that other person could never love me unconditionally therefore I'm not
532:50 me unconditionally therefore I'm not safe I'm not okay in this relationship
532:54 safe I'm not okay in this relationship and the way that you get over this
532:55 and the way that you get over this feeling of jealousy is work on your own
532:58 feeling of jealousy is work on your own self-concept and say over and over again
533:00 self-concept and say over and over again I like myself I like myself or I love
533:03 I like myself I like myself or I love myself because the more you boost your
533:05 myself because the more you boost your own self-esteem remember there's an
533:06 own self-esteem remember there's an inverse relationship between these
533:09 inverse relationship between these fears and how much you like yourself the
533:11 fears and how much you like yourself the more you like yourself the more your
533:12 more you like yourself the more your self-esteem goes
533:14 self-esteem goes up the more your fears of jealousy fears
533:17 up the more your fears of jealousy fears of rejection fears of loss of love and
533:19 of rejection fears of loss of love and so on go down so be alert to jealousy
533:21 so on go down so be alert to jealousy and remember though it has nothing to do
533:23 and remember though it has nothing to do with the other person
533:24 with the other person it has only to do with the person
533:26 it has only to do with the person experiencing it and I'll say one more
533:28 experiencing it and I'll say one more thing is that it is not clever to make
533:30 thing is that it is not clever to make somebody feel jealous it is not smart it
533:32 somebody feel jealous it is not smart it is not clever it is not fashionable it
533:35 is not clever it is not fashionable it is just an unkind and cruel thing to do
533:37 is just an unkind and cruel thing to do especially if it is successful now
533:40 especially if it is successful now number four is
533:41 number four is self-pity where does self-pity come from
533:44 self-pity where does self-pity come from well there's several sources almost
533:46 well there's several sources almost invariably self-pity comes from having
533:47 invariably self-pity comes from having had a parent who was very good at
533:49 had a parent who was very good at self-pity so what we did is we imitated
533:51 self-pity so what we did is we imitated the parent as we grow up we find
533:53 the parent as we grow up we find Opportunities to experience self
533:54 Opportunities to experience self self-pity ourselves self-pity is also
533:56 self-pity ourselves self-pity is also rooted in low self-esteem it's not
533:59 rooted in low self-esteem it's not liking ourselves very much now what is
534:01 liking ourselves very much now what is the solution for self-pity very simple
534:04 the solution for self-pity very simple very simply this is get busy get busy
534:08 very simply this is get busy get busy people who are busy people who are
534:10 people who are busy people who are working on something that's important
534:12 working on something that's important people who have a worthwhile purpose in
534:14 people who have a worthwhile purpose in life do not experience self-pity it is
534:18 life do not experience self-pity it is only people who are going around in
534:20 only people who are going around in circles drifting waiting for someone
534:22 circles drifting waiting for someone else and so on so you can overcome self
534:24 else and so on so you can overcome self pity simply by working on your
534:26 pity simply by working on your self-concept and set some goals set
534:29 self-concept and set some goals set clear specific goals and get going on
534:31 clear specific goals and get going on them remember the law of substitution
534:33 them remember the law of substitution says you can't feel sorry for yourself
534:35 says you can't feel sorry for yourself you can't even feel jealous you can't
534:37 you can't even feel jealous you can't even feel angry if you're busy working
534:39 even feel angry if you're busy working on goals that are important to you
534:41 on goals that are important to you conscious mind can only hold one thought
534:42 conscious mind can only hold one thought at a time positive or negative and then
534:45 at a time positive or negative and then we come to number six number six is a
534:47 we come to number six number six is a major reason which sort of summarizes
534:49 major reason which sort of summarizes everything that we've talked about up to
534:50 everything that we've talked about up to now as a major problem in relationships
534:53 now as a major problem in relationships and it is called in in
534:55 and it is called in in compatibility incompatibility means that
534:58 compatibility incompatibility means that you and the other
534:59 you and the other person are not compatible now this is
535:03 person are not compatible now this is very very hard for us to accept because
535:05 very very hard for us to accept because of fears of rejection and failure we
535:06 of fears of rejection and failure we often stay in relationships long past
535:09 often stay in relationships long past the point where it's clear that we no
535:11 the point where it's clear that we no longer have anything in common and we do
535:13 longer have anything in common and we do that for a variety of different reasons
535:15 that for a variety of different reasons one we do that because we don't want
535:17 one we do that because we don't want people to think that we have failed
535:19 people to think that we have failed another the reason that we do it is that
535:20 another the reason that we do it is that it's our comfort zone and we don't want
535:22 it's our comfort zone and we don't want to go through all the difficulty of of
535:24 to go through all the difficulty of of separating but what happens is this when
535:26 separating but what happens is this when two people meet they're like two dinner
535:28 two people meet they're like two dinner plates and what they have is they have
535:30 plates and what they have is they have areas where they are separate here's the
535:32 areas where they are separate here's the man here's the woman they have areas
535:34 man here's the woman they have areas where they're separate and different and
535:35 where they're separate and different and they have areas that they have in common
535:37 they have areas that they have in common now as a relationship develops sometimes
535:39 now as a relationship develops sometimes these areas
535:41 these areas grow and so when they finally get
535:43 grow and so when they finally get married they find that they have an
535:44 married they find that they have an enormous amount in common and sometimes
535:46 enormous amount in common and sometimes they have areas out here that they have
535:49 they have areas out here that they have which are separate as the French say
535:51 which are separate as the French say Viva difference or you know long live
535:53 Viva difference or you know long live the difference between men and women
535:55 the difference between men and women however especially in our 20s as we grow
535:58 however especially in our 20s as we grow and evolve and change rapidly what can
536:00 and evolve and change rapidly what can happen is that we can grow apart and we
536:03 happen is that we can grow apart and we can reach the point where the man and
536:05 can reach the point where the man and the woman now have a great gap between
536:07 the woman now have a great gap between them they have very little in common how
536:09 them they have very little in common how can you tell when incompatibility is set
536:12 can you tell when incompatibility is set into a relationship number one the first
536:14 into a relationship number one the first thing that goes is the
536:16 thing that goes is the laughter is people stop laughing
536:19 laughter is people stop laughing together and the second thing that goes
536:21 together and the second thing that goes is the
536:22 is the Friendship is they don't look upon on
536:24 Friendship is they don't look upon on themselves as friends anymore they look
536:25 themselves as friends anymore they look upon themselves as sort of people that
536:27 upon themselves as sort of people that are forced together now if
536:29 are forced together now if incompatibility has set into a
536:30 incompatibility has set into a relationship the natural thing to do the
536:33 relationship the natural thing to do the best thing to do is to try to patch it
536:34 best thing to do is to try to patch it up try to find some kind of a bridge try
536:36 up try to find some kind of a bridge try to try to put it back together if you
536:38 to try to put it back together if you like try to bind it together especially
536:40 like try to bind it together especially if there's children and a lot of other
536:41 if there's children and a lot of other things involved however please
536:44 things involved however please understand this if incompatibility has
536:46 understand this if incompatibility has developed and incompatibility is the
536:47 developed and incompatibility is the rule you have to go through dozens and
536:49 rule you have to go through dozens and dozens of men or members of the opposite
536:51 dozens of men or members of the opposite sex before you ever find one that you
536:52 sex before you ever find one that you can settle down with incompatibility has
536:55 can settle down with incompatibility has happened accept
536:57 happened accept it as a reality because if you do not
537:01 it as a reality because if you do not you're going to enter into the phenomena
537:03 you're going to enter into the phenomena of denial and the denial is going to
537:05 of denial and the denial is going to cause tremendous stress and resistance
537:07 cause tremendous stress and resistance and unhappiness number two is remember
537:10 and unhappiness number two is remember that if it has happened no one is guilty
537:14 that if it has happened no one is guilty just because you are no longer
537:16 just because you are no longer compatible with the other person doesn't
537:17 compatible with the other person doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with
537:19 mean that there's anything wrong with the other person and it doesn't mean
537:20 the other person and it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you it means
537:22 there's anything wrong with you it means it's just incompatibility has set in
537:24 it's just incompatibility has set in remember it just happens it's like the
537:27 remember it just happens it's like the rain when it rains nobody is guilty it
537:30 rain when it rains nobody is guilty it just happens it is the most common
537:32 just happens it is the most common phenomena in relationships is
537:35 phenomena in relationships is incompatibility and one final point with
537:37 incompatibility and one final point with incompatibility is this in my experience
537:40 incompatibility is this in my experience I find the major reason why people stay
537:42 I find the major reason why people stay in relationships that they're no longer
537:44 in relationships that they're no longer happy in that there's no love there's no
537:46 happy in that there's no love there's no music there's no laughter there's no
537:48 music there's no laughter there's no future to the relationship it's because
537:51 future to the relationship it's because of what others might say it's because of
537:54 of what others might say it's because of what others might
537:57 what others might say and this is really amazing to me
538:00 say and this is really amazing to me because whenever I speak to people and
538:02 because whenever I speak to people and I've been in the same situation I've
538:03 I've been in the same situation I've I've never been through a marriage that
538:05 I've never been through a marriage that didn't work out but I Was A Bachelor for
538:07 didn't work out but I Was A Bachelor for 35 years and so I've been through
538:09 35 years and so I've been through relationships that didn't work out and
538:11 relationships that didn't work out and I've been amazed at how much Social
538:13 I've been amazed at how much Social pressure there is created in our own
538:15 pressure there is created in our own minds to stay in a relationship that we
538:17 minds to stay in a relationship that we don't enjoy because we think others will
538:20 don't enjoy because we think others will disapprove of us we think that others
538:22 disapprove of us we think that others will be upset we think that others will
538:24 will be upset we think that others will be saddened and the fact of the matter
538:26 be saddened and the fact of the matter is as everybody eventually finds out is
538:28 is as everybody eventually finds out is that nobody cares as much about your
538:30 that nobody cares as much about your relationship as you do and if you
538:32 relationship as you do and if you sacrifice your peace of mind for what
538:33 sacrifice your peace of mind for what you think others might
538:35 you think others might say you will never never be happy
538:40 say you will never never be happy incompatibility is a reality if it you
538:43 incompatibility is a reality if it you cannot repair it if you cannot overcome
538:45 cannot repair it if you cannot overcome it then deal with it honestly deal with
538:47 it then deal with it honestly deal with it graciously face it in a
538:49 it graciously face it in a straightforward way deal with it in a
538:52 straightforward way deal with it in a respectful dignified way and find some
538:54 respectful dignified way and find some way to resolve the relationship so that
538:57 way to resolve the relationship so that it doesn't hurt anybody more than it has
538:59 it doesn't hurt anybody more than it has to remember this with regard to loving
539:02 to remember this with regard to loving relationships that your objective your
539:05 relationships that your objective your responsibility is to set joy and
539:07 responsibility is to set joy and fulfillment in your relationships as
539:09 fulfillment in your relationships as your minimum standard set peace of mind
539:12 your minimum standard set peace of mind Happiness joy fulfillment Tranquility
539:16 Happiness joy fulfillment Tranquility make your home and your loving
539:17 make your home and your loving relationship the crown jewel of your
539:19 relationship the crown jewel of your emotional life and settle for nothing
539:22 emotional life and settle for nothing less keep working at it keep striving
539:25 less keep working at it keep striving keep chopping keep changing do whatever
539:27 keep chopping keep changing do whatever is necessary but you owe it to yourself
539:30 is necessary but you owe it to yourself you owe it to your life you owe it to
539:31 you owe it to your life you owe it to your character your integrity your peace
539:33 your character your integrity your peace of mind your health and your future to
539:35 of mind your health and your future to settle for nothing less than a
539:37 settle for nothing less than a relationship that is a joy to be a part
539:39 relationship that is a joy to be a part of
539:57 session 26 how to raise Super Kids perhaps the most permanent relationship
539:58 perhaps the most permanent relationship that you ever enter into in life is that
540:00 that you ever enter into in life is that of bringing a child into the world it
540:02 of bringing a child into the world it outlasts many marriages IT outlasts jobs
540:05 outlasts many marriages IT outlasts jobs and careers it outlasts money and
540:07 and careers it outlasts money and locations and businesses it lasts until
540:09 locations and businesses it lasts until one or the other of you passes on and
540:12 one or the other of you passes on and most of us come into this world without
540:14 most of us come into this world without any idea of how to raise children we
540:15 any idea of how to raise children we come in without any basic parenting
540:17 come in without any basic parenting skills and the great tragedy is that
540:19 skills and the great tragedy is that most people don't make any effort to
540:20 most people don't make any effort to pick up any skills it's possible today
540:23 pick up any skills it's possible today for you to learned so much about how to
540:25 for you to learned so much about how to raise happy healthy self-confident
540:27 raise happy healthy self-confident wonderful loving vibrant fulfilled
540:30 wonderful loving vibrant fulfilled children there's so much information
540:32 children there's so much information available and you know that about 80 to
540:33 available and you know that about 80 to 90% of parents never bother to buy a
540:36 90% of parents never bother to buy a book on the subject or consult an expert
540:38 book on the subject or consult an expert or even seek advice except from their
540:40 or even seek advice except from their mother-in-law or from the person in the
540:43 mother-in-law or from the person in the backyard very important today in this
540:46 backyard very important today in this session we're going to talk about how to
540:47 session we're going to talk about how to raise super kids and I'm going to give
540:49 raise super kids and I'm going to give you some key ideas that you can use and
540:50 you some key ideas that you can use and I have three kids who I think are super
540:52 I have three kids who I think are super kids I have Christina who who's seven I
540:54 kids I have Christina who who's seven I have Michael who's five and I have
540:56 have Michael who's five and I have little David who's 1 year old and these
540:58 little David who's 1 year old and these kids are just great and everything that
540:59 kids are just great and everything that I'm going to tell you we use on them
541:02 I'm going to tell you we use on them 7even days a week and I can promise you
541:04 7even days a week and I can promise you this the law of sewing and reaping is
541:06 this the law of sewing and reaping is true with Children what you sew in your
541:08 true with Children what you sew in your children you reap in your children
541:10 children you reap in your children everything that you put into your
541:11 everything that you put into your children you're going to get out
541:13 children you're going to get out positive or negative but if you put good
541:15 positive or negative but if you put good into your children the wonderful thing
541:17 into your children the wonderful thing is that they will Blossom like flowers
541:20 is that they will Blossom like flowers so this starts us off with a basic
541:21 so this starts us off with a basic question what is the role of parenting
541:24 question what is the role of parenting what is the key role of
541:27 what is the key role of parenting the answer to that question in
541:29 parenting the answer to that question in my estimation is very simple the role of
541:32 my estimation is very simple the role of parenting most important job that we
541:34 parenting most important job that we enter into the role of parenting is to
541:38 enter into the role of parenting is to nurture
541:39 nurture children that's all the role of
541:41 children that's all the role of parenting is to nurture children until
541:43 parenting is to nurture children until they're 18 years of age until they reach
541:46 they're 18 years of age until they reach the age of maturity and to build High
541:49 the age of maturity and to build High self-esteem in those children to build
541:52 self-esteem in those children to build High self-esteem in my estimation this
541:55 High self-esteem in my estimation this is the key role of being a parent
541:57 is the key role of being a parent nothing else is significant or important
542:00 nothing else is significant or important next to the building of self-esteem why
542:01 next to the building of self-esteem why is that because if you can raise a child
542:03 is that because if you can raise a child to the age of 18 where they love
542:05 to the age of 18 where they love themselves they respect themselves they
542:07 themselves they respect themselves they unconditionally accept themselves they
542:09 unconditionally accept themselves they consider themselves to be valuable and
542:10 consider themselves to be valuable and worthwhile and important young people
542:12 worthwhile and important young people they're self-reliant self-responsible
542:14 they're self-reliant self-responsible and capable of making their own
542:15 and capable of making their own decisions that no matter what life can
542:17 decisions that no matter what life can throw at them in the years to follow
542:19 throw at them in the years to follow You' set them off on a solid rockard
542:22 You' set them off on a solid rockard psychological Foundation and they can
542:24 psychological Foundation and they can make their own way and make a wonderful
542:26 make their own way and make a wonderful life for themselves and other people if
542:29 life for themselves and other people if however you give children everything
542:30 however you give children everything else in the world but you leave them
542:31 else in the world but you leave them without this self-esteem if you leave
542:33 without this self-esteem if you leave them without this self-confidence
542:35 them without this self-confidence without this belief in themselves
542:37 without this belief in themselves without this conviction that they can do
542:38 without this conviction that they can do whatever is necessary to be successful
542:40 whatever is necessary to be successful if you leave them anything except
542:42 if you leave them anything except self-esteem to that degree you have not
542:44 self-esteem to that degree you have not succeeded as a parent so raising
542:47 succeeded as a parent so raising children and building High self-esteem
542:48 children and building High self-esteem in children becomes the organizing
542:51 in children becomes the organizing principle of parenting the organizing
542:53 principle of parenting the organizing princi principle means that you
542:55 princi principle means that you continually ask knowing that everything
542:58 continually ask knowing that everything counts you continually ask does this
543:00 counts you continually ask does this build self-esteem in my child is this
543:04 build self-esteem in my child is this situation is this issue is my response
543:07 situation is this issue is my response contributing toward building and
543:08 contributing toward building and nurturing this little human being that's
543:10 nurturing this little human being that's been entrusted to me or is it not uh
543:13 been entrusted to me or is it not uh with Christina my first child wonderful
543:16 with Christina my first child wonderful little
543:17 little girl I have explained to her at a very
543:19 girl I have explained to her at a very early age that she came to me as Khalil
543:23 early age that she came to me as Khalil Jabron explains in his book The Prophet
543:25 Jabron explains in his book The Prophet she came to Barbara and I from God and
543:28 she came to Barbara and I from God and that our job is to take care of her and
543:30 that our job is to take care of her and to love her until she grows up and that
543:33 to love her until she grows up and that she doesn't belong to us and we don't
543:35 she doesn't belong to us and we don't own her and our job is not to shape her
543:38 own her and our job is not to shape her the way we want her to be shaped our job
543:40 the way we want her to be shaped our job is to nurture her and discipline her and
543:42 is to nurture her and discipline her and train her and give her every opportunity
543:44 train her and give her every opportunity to grow and expand and develop but our
543:47 to grow and expand and develop but our job is just to take care of her until
543:48 job is just to take care of her until she grows up and she understands that
543:51 she grows up and she understands that very clearly that we are there to
543:53 very clearly that we are there to nurture her and to build High
543:55 nurture her and to build High self-esteem and that she came from God
543:58 self-esteem and that she came from God and she thinks of herself as being
544:00 and she thinks of herself as being really really special because surprise
544:02 really really special because surprise surprise none of her friends have been
544:04 surprise none of her friends have been told that so these are the organizing
544:06 told that so these are the organizing principles that we use with our children
544:08 principles that we use with our children now no parent is perfect parents make
544:11 now no parent is perfect parents make mistakes parents get tired parents get
544:13 mistakes parents get tired parents get irritable parents shout at their kids
544:14 irritable parents shout at their kids parents spank their kids and punish
544:16 parents spank their kids and punish their kids but generally speaking if we
544:18 their kids but generally speaking if we use the organizing principle of building
544:20 use the organizing principle of building High self-esteem in our children these
544:22 High self-esteem in our children these are the things to remember number one is
544:26 are the things to remember number one is destructive criticism is extremely
544:28 destructive criticism is extremely painful to a child destructive criticism
544:31 painful to a child destructive criticism sets children up for a lifetime of
544:33 sets children up for a lifetime of inferiority complex low self-esteem
544:36 inferiority complex low self-esteem fears of failure and rejection so never
544:39 fears of failure and rejection so never use destructive criticism on your
544:41 use destructive criticism on your children never run your children down
544:44 children never run your children down never use destructive
544:46 never use destructive criticism on your
544:49 criticism on your children instead do everything possible
544:52 children instead do everything possible to build them up that doesn't mean that
544:53 to build them up that doesn't mean that you don't discipline them it doesn't
544:55 you don't discipline them it doesn't mean that you don't control them but you
544:56 mean that you don't control them but you never say you're a bad boy or you're a
544:58 never say you're a bad boy or you're a bad girl or you're a little brat or
545:00 bad girl or you're a little brat or you're no good or you never tell the
545:02 you're no good or you never tell the truth you never say anything to your
545:04 truth you never say anything to your children about themselves that you do
545:07 children about themselves that you do not want to become part of their
545:08 not want to become part of their personalities because remember it goes
545:10 personalities because remember it goes straight past the conscious mind into
545:12 straight past the conscious mind into the subconscious and it's programmed
545:14 the subconscious and it's programmed away and accepted as a truth because you
545:17 away and accepted as a truth because you said it even in a moment of anger so
545:19 said it even in a moment of anger so never use destructive criticism on your
545:20 never use destructive criticism on your children children are very vulnerable to
545:22 children children are very vulnerable to destructive criticism ISM number two
545:24 destructive criticism ISM number two remember that lack of Love or love
545:27 remember that lack of Love or love withheld is the major reason for
545:30 withheld is the major reason for psychological physical and emotional
545:33 psychological physical and emotional problems in life that children need love
545:37 problems in life that children need love and if you deprive children of love and
545:39 and if you deprive children of love and it is not by the way what you think
545:42 it is not by the way what you think inside it is the child's perception
545:44 inside it is the child's perception everything is perception now the child
545:47 everything is perception now the child is pretty shallow at in the formative
545:50 is pretty shallow at in the formative years the child doesn't know that you
545:52 years the child doesn't know that you really love the child unless you tell
545:54 really love the child unless you tell the child show the child demonstrate to
545:56 the child show the child demonstrate to the child over and over and over again
545:59 the child over and over and over again many children have grown up and found
546:01 many children have grown up and found themselves visiting psychiatrists and
546:03 themselves visiting psychiatrists and psychologists and trying to wrestle
546:04 psychologists and trying to wrestle through the problem that they never
546:06 through the problem that they never believe that their parents love them and
546:08 believe that their parents love them and if you talk to the parents they say well
546:09 if you talk to the parents they say well of course I love my kids they say well
546:11 of course I love my kids they say well did you tell my kids well no I didn't
546:13 did you tell my kids well no I didn't tell them but they know I love them no
546:15 tell them but they know I love them no children don't know they as they say
546:17 children don't know they as they say they need the words number
546:20 they need the words number three is remember that children need a
546:22 three is remember that children need a continuous flow of love and approval
546:26 continuous flow of love and approval love and approval is the emotional
546:28 love and approval is the emotional psychological Lifeline that children
546:30 psychological Lifeline that children have to have in order to grow just
546:33 have to have in order to grow just imagine that your children are on a
546:35 imagine that your children are on a intravenous and this intravenous has the
546:37 intravenous and this intravenous has the critical nutrients for the development
546:39 critical nutrients for the development of their personality and the critical
546:41 of their personality and the critical nutrient in that intravenous is the
546:43 nutrient in that intravenous is the words and gestures that of love and
546:45 words and gestures that of love and approval and a continuous flow and if
546:47 approval and a continuous flow and if you cut off the flow it's like cutting
546:49 you cut off the flow it's like cutting off the flow of nutrients or cutting off
546:51 off the flow of nutrients or cutting off the oxygen flow to the emotional brain
546:54 the oxygen flow to the emotional brain they need it every day they need it
546:56 they need it every day they need it every night they need it morning noon
546:57 every night they need it morning noon and night they need it continuously when
546:59 and night they need it continuously when they're growing they're very much like
547:01 they're growing they're very much like growing children need a lot of food got
547:02 growing children need a lot of food got to have a lot of food because they're
547:03 to have a lot of food because they're growing they need a lot of emotional
547:05 growing they need a lot of emotional support when they're growing too a
547:07 support when they're growing too a fourth thing to remember is children
547:09 fourth thing to remember is children need praise praise is what grows
547:11 need praise praise is what grows children as a matter of fact they found
547:13 children as a matter of fact they found that when you praise a child their their
547:15 that when you praise a child their their physiological system actually vibrates
547:18 physiological system actually vibrates with new energy they need encouragement
547:20 with new energy they need encouragement remember children are afraid because
547:22 remember children are afraid because they're little kids in a big world they
547:25 they're little kids in a big world they need encouragement all the time you can
547:26 need encouragement all the time you can do it you can do it sure you can do it
547:28 do it you can do it sure you can do it go ahead give it a try also they need
547:31 go ahead give it a try also they need reinforcement sometimes they fall in
547:32 reinforcement sometimes they fall in their face sometimes they do it right
547:34 their face sometimes they do it right they need to be told hey you did a great
547:36 they need to be told hey you did a great job that's wonderful they need to be
547:37 job that's wonderful they need to be praised and reinforced they need
547:39 praised and reinforced they need patience children need a lot of patience
547:42 patience children need a lot of patience because they're seem to be slow in
547:43 because they're seem to be slow in learning the kindest thing you can do
547:45 learning the kindest thing you can do for your children is to be patient be
547:47 for your children is to be patient be supportive also to be um uh uh loving
547:53 supportive also to be um uh uh loving and also to be kind children need an
547:57 and also to be kind children need an enormous amount of kindness and they
547:59 enormous amount of kindness and they need caring they need tenderness they
548:01 need caring they need tenderness they need gentleness they need especially
548:04 need gentleness they need especially though they need patience when they are
548:05 though they need patience when they are the least patient when they are the most
548:08 the least patient when they are the most exasperating is when they need the most
548:10 exasperating is when they need the most patience from you the most kindness the
548:13 patience from you the most kindness the most understanding the most compassion
548:15 most understanding the most compassion now the fifth Point here is to tell your
548:18 now the fifth Point here is to tell your children you love them every day tell
548:21 children you love them every day tell them you love them every day
548:24 them you love them every day I have been surprised I've been
548:27 I have been surprised I've been surprised tell them you love them every
548:29 surprised tell them you love them every day how many parents don't tell their
548:31 day how many parents don't tell their children that they love them they say
548:34 children that they love them they say well now a kid knows I love them I've
548:36 well now a kid knows I love them I've had arguments they say well they know I
548:37 had arguments they say well they know I love them I don't have to tell them the
548:39 love them I don't have to tell them the fact is that kids need to know and the
548:41 fact is that kids need to know and the reason of course that we don't is why is
548:42 reason of course that we don't is why is because our parents never told us that
548:43 because our parents never told us that they loved us if we grew up in a
548:45 they loved us if we grew up in a household where our parents never said I
548:46 household where our parents never said I love you and I care for you and I wish
548:48 love you and I care for you and I wish the very best for you and they never
548:50 the very best for you and they never gave us praise and encouragement we'll
548:51 gave us praise and encouragement we'll grow up being very uncomfortable but
548:53 grow up being very uncomfortable but I'll tell you this that if you'll tell
548:55 I'll tell you this that if you'll tell your kids you love them on a regular
548:56 your kids you love them on a regular basis they'll tell you back and they
548:58 basis they'll tell you back and they will teach you how to love so learn to
549:01 will teach you how to love so learn to use the words over and over again now
549:02 use the words over and over again now here's four behaviors that parents can
549:05 here's four behaviors that parents can use to tell their children that they
549:07 use to tell their children that they really love them behavior number one is
549:10 really love them behavior number one is the greatest gift that a parent can give
549:12 the greatest gift that a parent can give to a child it's called unconditional
549:14 to a child it's called unconditional love make sure that the child knows that
549:16 love make sure that the child knows that you love them 100% no matter what they
549:19 you love them 100% no matter what they do no matter what happens that nothing
549:22 do no matter what happens that nothing in the world can ever stop you from
549:24 in the world can ever stop you from loving them 100% it's absolutely
549:27 loving them 100% it's absolutely Critical with my little girl and my
549:29 Critical with my little girl and my little boy I have a little game with
549:31 little boy I have a little game with them that I play with him called The
549:32 them that I play with him called The Love Game and I asked them how much do I
549:35 Love Game and I asked them how much do I love you and we go through a game and
549:36 love you and we go through a game and they say well this much I say come on
549:38 they say well this much I say come on now I say this much come on if this much
549:40 now I say this much come on if this much and finally they say this much and I
549:42 and finally they say this much and I said well what about when I shout at you
549:44 said well what about when I shout at you they say well you still love me this
549:45 they say well you still love me this much I say what about when I put you in
549:48 much I say what about when I put you in your bedroom they say you still love us
549:50 your bedroom they say you still love us this much I say what about when I shout
549:52 this much I say what about when I shout at you and put you in your your bedroom
549:53 at you and put you in your your bedroom make you stand in the corner they say
549:56 make you stand in the corner they say you still love us this much daddy cuz no
549:58 you still love us this much daddy cuz no matter what we do you love us all the
550:00 matter what we do you love us all the time now that's the very kindest thing
550:03 time now that's the very kindest thing that you can ever convince your kids of
550:05 that you can ever convince your kids of I do this to condition them I do this
550:07 I do this to condition them I do this because I want it driven so down deep
550:09 because I want it driven so down deep into their subconscious mind that they
550:11 into their subconscious mind that they are so totally loved that they can go
550:13 are so totally loved that they can go throughout their life as little kids
550:15 throughout their life as little kids growing up and never never never
550:17 growing up and never never never question that their mommy and daddy
550:19 question that their mommy and daddy really love them remember the phenomenon
550:21 really love them remember the phenomenon of conditional love is what breeds the
550:23 of conditional love is what breeds the fear of rejection which breeds feelings
550:24 fear of rejection which breeds feelings of inferiority and insecurity children
550:27 of inferiority and insecurity children by the way who are not brought up with
550:29 by the way who are not brought up with enough love in their formative years
550:31 enough love in their formative years develop what is called a deficiency need
550:34 develop what is called a deficiency need and they spend the rest of their lives
550:36 and they spend the rest of their lives like deanes with his lamp looking for an
550:38 like deanes with his lamp looking for an honest man they spend the rest of their
550:39 honest man they spend the rest of their lives looking for the love that they
550:42 lives looking for the love that they were deprived of in childhood be very
550:44 were deprived of in childhood be very alert to that you cannot give a child
550:46 alert to that you cannot give a child too much love in the formative years you
550:49 too much love in the formative years you cannot love a child too much you can
550:51 cannot love a child too much you can give them buckets and buckets and
550:53 give them buckets and buckets and buckets of love give them all the love
550:56 buckets of love give them all the love they can absorb so number two way that
550:58 they can absorb so number two way that you show your love is with eye contact
551:00 you show your love is with eye contact children have emotional fuel tanks and
551:03 children have emotional fuel tanks and they drink in the love of their parents
551:06 they drink in the love of their parents through their parents' eyes and when you
551:08 through their parents' eyes and when you look at your child with love and you say
551:11 look at your child with love and you say I love you I love you very much the
551:14 I love you I love you very much the child just feels wonderful all over so
551:18 child just feels wonderful all over so say I love you but look them in the eye
551:19 say I love you but look them in the eye do you know that most parents only look
551:21 do you know that most parents only look their children in the eye when they're
551:22 their children in the eye when they're scolding them
551:24 scolding them that most children grow up today with a
551:26 that most children grow up today with a very distinct uneasiness about direct
551:28 very distinct uneasiness about direct eye contact from adults that in our
551:30 eye contact from adults that in our society direct eye contact is considered
551:33 society direct eye contact is considered a sign of hostility because so many of
551:35 a sign of hostility because so many of us have grown up with our parents only
551:36 us have grown up with our parents only looking at us when they're scolding us
551:38 looking at us when they're scolding us and when they're speaking nicely to us
551:40 and when they're speaking nicely to us sometimes they just watch the television
551:41 sometimes they just watch the television or read the paper so look the child
551:43 or read the paper so look the child right in the eye the third is physical
551:47 right in the eye the third is physical contact remember children are very
551:50 contact remember children are very emotional and very visceral they're very
551:53 emotional and very visceral they're very physical and they need physical contact
551:55 physical and they need physical contact they need to be hugged they need to be
551:57 they need to be hugged they need to be kissed they need to be embraced they
551:59 kissed they need to be embraced they need to be patted they need to be
552:00 need to be patted they need to be carried and every single time that you
552:02 carried and every single time that you hold your child with warmth and love
552:04 hold your child with warmth and love starting from infancy all the way up to
552:07 starting from infancy all the way up to when they become grown-ups and you Pat
552:09 when they become grown-ups and you Pat them on the back or put your arm around
552:11 them on the back or put your arm around them or Pat them on the head physical
552:13 them or Pat them on the head physical contact as it says in the song touch my
552:15 contact as it says in the song touch my hair when you pass my chair little
552:17 hair when you pass my chair little things mean a lot contact with your
552:20 things mean a lot contact with your children is one of the ways that you
552:21 children is one of the ways that you tell them that you love them now
552:22 tell them that you love them now interesting enough in in studies that
552:24 interesting enough in in studies that were done in the late 40s they found
552:26 were done in the late 40s they found that infants who were not held in
552:28 that infants who were not held in hospitals and very and embraced while
552:31 hospitals and very and embraced while they were being fed actually began to
552:34 they were being fed actually began to atrophy shrivel up stop taking nutrition
552:37 atrophy shrivel up stop taking nutrition and many of them died of a dis disease
552:40 and many of them died of a dis disease called marasmus where they lack that
552:42 called marasmus where they lack that physical warmth and contact so physical
552:44 physical warmth and contact so physical contact is absolutely essential to a
552:46 contact is absolutely essential to a child's healthy well-being and number
552:49 child's healthy well-being and number four is focused
552:51 four is focused attention by the the way it's
552:55 attention by the the way it's interesting many many fathers have this
552:58 interesting many many fathers have this idea that if you give a child too much
553:00 idea that if you give a child too much hugging a male child a boy too much
553:02 hugging a male child a boy too much hugging too much kissing at an early age
553:04 hugging too much kissing at an early age you'll make them a in fact it's
553:07 you'll make them a in fact it's exactly the opposite The More Hugging
553:08 exactly the opposite The More Hugging the more kissing the more physical
553:10 the more kissing the more physical contact that a little boy has with his
553:12 contact that a little boy has with his mother and father and especially his
553:13 mother and father and especially his father the more masculine the more self
553:16 father the more masculine the more self assured the more self-confident he grows
553:18 assured the more self-confident he grows up the less he gets the more insecure
553:20 up the less he gets the more insecure the more Angry the more stressed he is
553:23 the more Angry the more stressed he is so remember that you can't give a child
553:25 so remember that you can't give a child male or female more physical too much
553:27 male or female more physical too much physical contact and focused attention
553:29 physical contact and focused attention means that you spend time with the child
553:31 means that you spend time with the child every day just you and the child walking
553:34 every day just you and the child walking talking listening no television no
553:36 talking listening no television no newspaper no one else just a few minutes
553:38 newspaper no one else just a few minutes a day that tells the child that the
553:40 a day that tells the child that the child is really valuable you see parents
553:43 child is really valuable you see parents children whose parents don't spend time
553:45 children whose parents don't spend time with them alone are convinced that the
553:47 with them alone are convinced that the reason mommy and daddy is not doing it
553:49 reason mommy and daddy is not doing it is because there's something wrong with
553:51 is because there's something wrong with me they don't know that the parents are
553:53 me they don't know that the parents are busy or doing something else they just
553:55 busy or doing something else they just feel that there's something defective
553:57 feel that there's something defective about them and that's why the parents
553:59 about them and that's why the parents don't spend the time with them so be
554:01 don't spend the time with them so be very careful it's the perception of the
554:02 very careful it's the perception of the child not the reality all right now the
554:05 child not the reality all right now the next number six is positive
554:08 next number six is positive expectations positive expectations were
554:10 expectations positive expectations were found by Dr David mclan of Harvard
554:12 found by Dr David mclan of Harvard University to be one of the best single
554:15 University to be one of the best single determinants of Peak Performance as a
554:18 determinants of Peak Performance as a young person positive expectations of
554:21 young person positive expectations of the child by the parent causes the child
554:23 the child by the parent causes the child to do everything possible to grow up and
554:26 to do everything possible to grow up and fulfill the parents' expectations as a
554:29 fulfill the parents' expectations as a matter of fact he found that there were
554:30 matter of fact he found that there were two things one was a democratic
554:32 two things one was a democratic household that in a democratic household
554:34 household that in a democratic household where the child was expected to
554:36 where the child was expected to contribute his or her opinion at an
554:38 contribute his or her opinion at an early age and in a democrat in a
554:41 early age and in a democrat in a household where the parents said in
554:42 household where the parents said in effect I believe in you no matter what
554:45 effect I believe in you no matter what you do I believe in you I believe you're
554:47 you do I believe in you I believe you're going to do well that these two factors
554:50 going to do well that these two factors alone LED children to becoming High
554:52 alone LED children to becoming High achievers in their teens and in their
554:54 achievers in their teens and in their early 20s sometimes 10 20 years ahead of
554:57 early 20s sometimes 10 20 years ahead of children who were not brought up in
554:59 children who were not brought up in Democratic households where their
555:00 Democratic households where their opinions were contributed were were
555:02 opinions were contributed were were solicited and and valued and where their
555:05 solicited and and valued and where their parents expressed negative expectations
555:08 parents expressed negative expectations like remember that you've heard many
555:09 like remember that you've heard many times kid works hard comes home with
555:11 times kid works hard comes home with five A's and a b first thing the parent
555:13 five A's and a b first thing the parent says is what's this B not look how great
555:15 says is what's this B not look how great the A's are but what's the be what this
555:18 the A's are but what's the be what this does is it completely demoralizes the
555:20 does is it completely demoralizes the child so positive expectations are
555:22 child so positive expectations are critical to the growth of a healthy
555:23 critical to the growth of a healthy personality number seven is teach your
555:25 personality number seven is teach your children to say I like myself from an
555:27 children to say I like myself from an early age teach your children to say I
555:30 early age teach your children to say I like myself from an early age I like
555:33 like myself from an early age I like myself I like myself I like myself you
555:35 myself I like myself I like myself you see high con High self-concept children
555:37 see high con High self-concept children High self-esteemed children like
555:40 High self-esteemed children like themselves too much to get into trouble
555:41 themselves too much to get into trouble at school they get better grades they're
555:43 at school they get better grades they're more popular they're better liked by
555:45 more popular they're better liked by their schoolmates and by their teachers
555:47 their schoolmates and by their teachers they have much less a tendency to use
555:49 they have much less a tendency to use drugs they have much more resistance to
555:51 drugs they have much more resistance to peer pressure they don't get into
555:53 peer pressure they don't get into trouble they don't vandalize so teach
555:55 trouble they don't vandalize so teach your children to say I like myself I
555:56 your children to say I like myself I like myself I like myself with our
555:58 like myself I like myself with our children we taught them as soon as they
556:00 children we taught them as soon as they could talk to say I like myself and I
556:02 could talk to say I like myself and I love myself I love myself I love myself
556:05 love myself I love myself I love myself and they stand in front of the mirror
556:06 and they stand in front of the mirror and they look in the mirror and they say
556:07 and they look in the mirror and they say I love myself I love myself and they act
556:10 I love myself I love myself and they act like they love themselves people come up
556:11 like they love themselves people come up to us on the street and they say and
556:13 to us on the street and they say and this is great they say to us those kids
556:16 this is great they say to us those kids aren't afraid of anything those kids
556:18 aren't afraid of anything those kids aren't afraid of anything and that was
556:21 aren't afraid of anything and that was our great desire after we came from very
556:24 our great desire after we came from very negative childhoods and very
556:25 negative childhoods and very destructively critical parents we wanted
556:27 destructively critical parents we wanted our kids to grow up not to be afraid so
556:30 our kids to grow up not to be afraid so this is these are the things that you do
556:32 this is these are the things that you do the seven key things to cause your
556:34 the seven key things to cause your children to grow up and feel terrific
556:36 children to grow up and feel terrific about
556:37 about themselves now this brings us to an
556:40 themselves now this brings us to an important Point many parents who have
556:43 important Point many parents who have been through our course at this point
556:45 been through our course at this point and earlier in this course feel very
556:47 and earlier in this course feel very guilty and uneasy they feel a little bit
556:50 guilty and uneasy they feel a little bit tense because they know they've shouted
556:51 tense because they know they've shouted at their kids they've been critical of
556:53 at their kids they've been critical of their kids they've hurt their kids their
556:55 their kids they've hurt their kids their kids are sometimes having personality
556:57 kids are sometimes having personality problems their kids having problems with
556:59 problems their kids having problems with grades schools friends their kids have
557:01 grades schools friends their kids have low self-esteem or feelings of
557:02 low self-esteem or feelings of inferiority and the parents are uneasy
557:05 inferiority and the parents are uneasy and tense because they realize that
557:07 and tense because they realize that they've done to their children what
557:09 they've done to their children what their parents did to them and now
557:11 their parents did to them and now they're looking at the they now they are
557:13 they're looking at the they now they are reaping the Harvest if you like they're
557:15 reaping the Harvest if you like they're looking at their children and they
557:16 looking at their children and they realize that what your children are is
557:19 realize that what your children are is more a result of what you have done and
557:21 more a result of what you have done and said to them than any other reason so
557:25 said to them than any other reason so here is the solution to that absolutely
557:27 here is the solution to that absolutely amazing it is possible for you to undo
557:30 amazing it is possible for you to undo the past with this very simple technique
557:33 the past with this very simple technique first thing you do when you go home from
557:36 first thing you do when you go home from this course is you gather your children
557:38 this course is you gather your children around you you bring them around you and
557:41 around you you bring them around you and you sit them down and you apologize to
557:44 you sit them down and you apologize to them for all of your hitherto
557:46 them for all of your hitherto destructive criticism you say to them
557:49 destructive criticism you say to them I've been to a course I understand the
557:51 I've been to a course I understand the effect of destructive criticism
557:53 effect of destructive criticism and I'm sorry for every single thing I
557:57 and I'm sorry for every single thing I ever said or ever did that caused you to
557:59 ever said or ever did that caused you to feel bad about yourself and I apologize
558:03 feel bad about yourself and I apologize and I ask you to accept my apology now
558:06 and I ask you to accept my apology now this is the most incredible thing that a
558:08 this is the most incredible thing that a parent can do for a child because
558:11 parent can do for a child because children want to love their parents and
558:13 children want to love their parents and they want their parents to love them but
558:15 they want their parents to love them but it is the destructive criticism that
558:16 it is the destructive criticism that builds a wall of distrust and fear and
558:19 builds a wall of distrust and fear and insecurity and when you as the parent
558:21 insecurity and when you as the parent and only you can do it when you as the
558:23 and only you can do it when you as the parent apologize and say I'm sorry will
558:27 parent apologize and say I'm sorry will you accept my apology the children feel
558:31 you accept my apology the children feel suddenly liberated like a great weight
558:33 suddenly liberated like a great weight has been removed from them now why do
558:35 has been removed from them now why do you do this well because the purpose is
558:37 you do this well because the purpose is for you to accept 100% responsibility
558:40 for you to accept 100% responsibility for everything guilt producing that
558:42 for everything guilt producing that you've ever done or said to them except
558:45 you've ever done or said to them except 100% responsibility and say I am
558:49 100% responsibility and say I am responsible I'm sorry I apolog apologize
558:53 responsible I'm sorry I apolog apologize will you accept my apology and your
558:55 will you accept my apology and your children will be absolutely amazed we've
558:58 children will be absolutely amazed we've seen children whose entire lives have
559:02 seen children whose entire lives have been transformed 15 16 year old children
559:04 been transformed 15 16 year old children in reformatories and boys or girls home
559:07 in reformatories and boys or girls home problem children that have been in
559:09 problem children that have been in trouble for years literally transformed
559:12 trouble for years literally transformed overnight in personality I had a couple
559:16 overnight in personality I had a couple of parents go through this course not
559:17 of parents go through this course not long ago and they went home and they had
559:19 long ago and they went home and they had a 16-year-old daughter and there was no
559:21 a 16-year-old daughter and there was no communication she was withdrawn she was
559:23 communication she was withdrawn she was shy she did not talk to the parents and
559:25 shy she did not talk to the parents and their parents went home and sat her down
559:27 their parents went home and sat her down and apologized to her they realized that
559:29 and apologized to her they realized that they' been complaining and complaining
559:31 they' been complaining and complaining and complaining do you know the average
559:32 and complaining do you know the average parent in America complains and
559:35 parent in America complains and criticizes their child eight times for
559:38 criticizes their child eight times for every one time they praise the child
559:40 every one time they praise the child eight times eight psychological lashes
559:43 eight times eight psychological lashes across the developing psyche or emotions
559:45 across the developing psyche or emotions of that child they realized they'd
559:47 of that child they realized they'd gotten into a habit of criticizing and
559:49 gotten into a habit of criticizing and complaining they went home and they
559:51 complaining they went home and they apologized and they said she came down
559:53 apologized and they said she came down to breakfast the next day and she was
559:54 to breakfast the next day and she was transformed they said she was like like
559:57 transformed they said she was like like like a nighting gale she was happy she
559:59 like a nighting gale she was happy she was laughing she was extroverted she and
560:01 was laughing she was extroverted she and her mother became tremendous friends
560:03 her mother became tremendous friends that she and her mother and her father
560:05 that she and her mother and her father began going out for dinner Ian it was
560:06 began going out for dinner Ian it was just like like a miracle I saw a family
560:09 just like like a miracle I saw a family once where the father had raised 10
560:11 once where the father had raised 10 children he'd come from a negatively
560:13 children he'd come from a negatively destructively critical environment and
560:15 destructively critical environment and he had been destructively critical of
560:16 he had been destructively critical of his all his children many of them had
560:18 his all his children many of them had serious marital problems some of them
560:20 serious marital problems some of them had serious psychological problems
560:22 had serious psychological problems problems with with their spouses the
560:23 problems with with their spouses the oldest one was over 30 the youngest one
560:25 oldest one was over 30 the youngest one was 14 at the end of the seminar they're
560:27 was 14 at the end of the seminar they're all in there all the children all the
560:29 all in there all the children all the spouses the father and mother at the end
560:31 spouses the father and mother at the end of the seminar he got up in the room and
560:34 of the seminar he got up in the room and turned around and went from child to
560:36 turned around and went from child to child and said I apologize will you
560:39 child and said I apologize will you forgive me and as he went to each child
560:42 forgive me and as he went to each child each child broke down in tears and
560:44 each child broke down in tears and started crying and by the time that
560:47 started crying and by the time that Circle had been made everybody in the
560:49 Circle had been made everybody in the room was crying it was absolutely
560:50 room was crying it was absolutely phenomenal and the family lit
560:53 phenomenal and the family lit transformed overnight then the next
560:55 transformed overnight then the next thing you do so logical so obvious
560:58 thing you do so logical so obvious promise never to do it again promise
561:01 promise never to do it again promise never to do it
561:11 why to make sure that it's clear and then finally give them permission to
561:13 then finally give them permission to remind you when you forget give them
561:15 remind you when you forget give them permission to remind you when you forget
561:19 permission to remind you when you forget because you will forget or when you slip
561:22 because you will forget or when you slip from time to
561:23 from time to time and they it let them
561:26 time and they it let them say daddy is that destructive criticism
561:28 say daddy is that destructive criticism or mommy is that destructive criticism
561:31 or mommy is that destructive criticism and you say yes it is you're right I
561:34 and you say yes it is you're right I apologize you will find that if you make
561:36 apologize you will find that if you make it a game to abolish destructive
561:39 it a game to abolish destructive criticism this is your goal in your
561:41 criticism this is your goal in your household do not allow destructive
561:44 household do not allow destructive criticism in your household abolish
561:46 criticism in your household abolish destructive criticism do not allow
561:48 destructive criticism do not allow anybody in your household to
561:50 anybody in your household to destructively criticize anybody else
561:52 destructively criticize anybody else make it absolutely clear that you can
561:54 make it absolutely clear that you can argue you can fight you can disagree All
561:56 argue you can fight you can disagree All Families do that but nobody is allowed
561:59 Families do that but nobody is allowed to devalue or run down the other person
562:02 to devalue or run down the other person make it a game and make sure that you
562:04 make it a game and make sure that you catch each other and get it to the point
562:06 catch each other and get it to the point where a person says is that destructive
562:07 where a person says is that destructive criticism or a person can say I don't
562:10 criticism or a person can say I don't accept that and if you made a mistake
562:11 accept that and if you made a mistake you back off and you say I'm sorry now
562:14 you back off and you say I'm sorry now with my little kids I learned this idea
562:18 with my little kids I learned this idea before my kids came along with my little
562:20 before my kids came along with my little kids what I said to them was what I say
562:22 kids what I said to them was what I say to him is do you forgive me I'm sorry I
562:24 to him is do you forgive me I'm sorry I apologize do you forgive me and now
562:26 apologize do you forgive me and now sometimes we'll have an argument I'll
562:27 sometimes we'll have an argument I'll send them to my bedroom their bedrooms
562:29 send them to my bedroom their bedrooms and Michael will come to me and he came
562:31 and Michael will come to me and he came to me the other day and he said Daddy he
562:33 to me the other day and he said Daddy he said I forgive you for sending me to my
562:35 said I forgive you for sending me to my bedroom and it was the cutest thing you
562:38 bedroom and it was the cutest thing you could imagine I said Michael I'm sorry
562:40 could imagine I said Michael I'm sorry thank you very much I apologize and if
562:42 thank you very much I apologize and if you apologize all the time you keep the
562:44 you apologize all the time you keep the decks open now one final point that I
562:46 decks open now one final point that I don't want to forget is this is that in
562:47 don't want to forget is this is that in order to apologize to your children
562:50 order to apologize to your children you've got to get your ego out of the
562:51 you've got to get your ego out of the way you have to put the mental health of
562:53 way you have to put the mental health of your children ahead of anything else
562:55 your children ahead of anything else when you apologize you it takes courage
562:59 when you apologize you it takes courage and character for you to
563:02 and character for you to apologize it takes courage and character
563:04 apologize it takes courage and character it takes tremendous strength for an
563:06 it takes tremendous strength for an adult to apologize to a child but when
563:08 adult to apologize to a child but when you lead by example you build courage
563:12 you lead by example you build courage and character in your children do you
563:14 and character in your children do you know how many people spent half of their
563:16 know how many people spent half of their times half of their life trying to avoid
563:19 times half of their life trying to avoid admitting I was wrong I made a mistake
563:22 admitting I was wrong I made a mistake when you demonstrate courage and
563:24 when you demonstrate courage and character to your children by saying I'm
563:26 character to your children by saying I'm sorry I made a mistake we don't use
563:28 sorry I made a mistake we don't use destructive criticism in this house you
563:31 destructive criticism in this house you demonstrate to them that they too can
563:34 demonstrate to them that they too can demonstrate courage and character they
563:35 demonstrate courage and character they too can say I'm sorry I was wrong I made
563:37 too can say I'm sorry I was wrong I made a mistake they too can apologize when
563:40 a mistake they too can apologize when they say or do something that hurts
563:42 they say or do something that hurts someone else and setting that example
563:44 someone else and setting that example for your children sets them off on a
563:46 for your children sets them off on a foundation of high self-esteem of high
563:49 foundation of high self-esteem of high self- value and enables them to spend
563:51 self- value and enables them to spend their entire lives realizing their
563:54 their entire lives realizing their potential rather than compensating for
563:56 potential rather than compensating for their deficiencies it is the kindest
563:58 their deficiencies it is the kindest thing that you can do for a child and I
564:00 thing that you can do for a child and I hope you do it for
564:15 yours session 27 finding true purpose in life now we come to the final question
564:18 life now we come to the final question what is the purpose of life what is the
564:20 what is the purpose of life what is the purpose of your life why are you here
564:23 purpose of your life why are you here why do you exist at all why do you get
564:25 why do you exist at all why do you get up in the morning why do you have a life
564:27 up in the morning why do you have a life why are you on the earth is it simply to
564:30 why are you on the earth is it simply to uh be born to grow up to work to
564:32 uh be born to grow up to work to reproduce to die or is there something
564:35 reproduce to die or is there something else in my estimation there is something
564:38 else in my estimation there is something else something far more important in
564:40 else something far more important in this session I want to talk to you about
564:42 this session I want to talk to you about my discoveries and my thoughts about
564:43 my discoveries and my thoughts about what the true purpose of life is the
564:45 what the true purpose of life is the true purpose of life in my estimation is
564:49 true purpose of life in my estimation is to find a mission some of the wisest men
564:52 to find a mission some of the wisest men and women of this century and of
564:53 and women of this century and of previous centuries have looked at this
564:55 previous centuries have looked at this whole idea of why a human being is put
564:57 whole idea of why a human being is put on this Earth and they've come to the
564:59 on this Earth and they've come to the conclusion that we have put on this
565:01 conclusion that we have put on this Earth to fulfill our potential by
565:04 Earth to fulfill our potential by finding our true mission in life EMT Fox
565:07 finding our true mission in life EMT Fox calls this your heart's desire what is
565:10 calls this your heart's desire what is your heart's
565:11 your heart's desire your heart's desire is something
565:14 desire your heart's desire is something that is placed deep down inside you
565:16 that is placed deep down inside you maybe even before you're born and it's
565:18 maybe even before you're born and it's something that calls to you and sings to
565:20 something that calls to you and sings to you and lures you on throughout your
565:22 you and lures you on throughout your life and the reason that we say that
565:24 life and the reason that we say that only one or two or five out of a 100
565:27 only one or two or five out of a 100 people fulfill their potential in any
565:29 people fulfill their potential in any given generation is because most people
565:31 given generation is because most people ignore the callings of this heart's
565:33 ignore the callings of this heart's desire they push it aside they ignore it
565:35 desire they push it aside they ignore it they pretend it isn't there they get
565:37 they pretend it isn't there they get involved in bills and families and
565:38 involved in bills and families and business and careers and this tugs at
565:41 business and careers and this tugs at them sometimes they don't get into it
565:43 them sometimes they don't get into it until later on in life but every single
565:45 until later on in life but every single person has the ability to establish for
565:48 person has the ability to establish for themselves a mission so then let's look
565:51 themselves a mission so then let's look at the men women who have affected
565:53 at the men women who have affected Mankind in the most positive and
565:56 Mankind in the most positive and profound way throughout all of history
565:58 profound way throughout all of history in our civilization in our culture the
566:01 in our civilization in our culture the most powerful person was Jesus of
566:04 most powerful person was Jesus of Nazareth a humble Carpenter who preached
566:08 Nazareth a humble Carpenter who preached for 3 years in Galilee and then died in
566:11 for 3 years in Galilee and then died in Jerusalem but has had more of an impact
566:13 Jerusalem but has had more of an impact on more people in this world than any
566:15 on more people in this world than any other man who ever lived than all the
566:17 other man who ever lived than all the other kings and all the other monarchs
566:18 other kings and all the other monarchs and dictators of History one simple man
566:21 and dictators of History one simple man who never wrote a word never appeared on
566:23 who never wrote a word never appeared on television never cut a record was the
566:25 television never cut a record was the man who has had more influence than
566:27 man who has had more influence than anyone else and Beyond Jesus there was
566:30 anyone else and Beyond Jesus there was Buddha the followers of Buddha and
566:32 Buddha the followers of Buddha and interestingly enough Buddha taught a
566:34 interestingly enough Buddha taught a very similar message to Jesus he taught
566:36 very similar message to Jesus he taught the message of universal love he taught
566:39 the message of universal love he taught the message of the Brotherhood of all
566:42 the message of the Brotherhood of all mankind that all of us are united in
566:45 mankind that all of us are united in loving each other and also Muhammad and
566:48 loving each other and also Muhammad and Muhammad has followers that number in
566:51 Muhammad has followers that number in the hundreds of Millions Buddha's
566:52 the hundreds of Millions Buddha's followers number almost a billion the
566:54 followers number almost a billion the followers of Jesus number probably two
566:57 followers of Jesus number probably two billion and if you look down the people
566:59 billion and if you look down the people who have been affected by them you have
567:01 who have been affected by them you have St Francis of
567:03 St Francis of aisi has had a profound influence
567:05 aisi has had a profound influence establishing The Franciscan order you
567:07 establishing The Franciscan order you have in our day you have Mother Teresa
567:09 have in our day you have Mother Teresa of
567:11 of Kolkata having a profound influence you
567:13 Kolkata having a profound influence you have my mentor Albert schwitzer of
567:18 have my mentor Albert schwitzer of Africa s schwier DB t schwitzer and you
567:23 Africa s schwier DB t schwitzer and you have people like Florence Nightingale
567:25 have people like Florence Nightingale and others what is the unifying theme of
567:27 and others what is the unifying theme of these people a man named Ralph Waldo
567:29 these people a man named Ralph Waldo Trine wrote a wonderful book many years
567:31 Trine wrote a wonderful book many years ago called what the whole world's a
567:34 ago called what the whole world's a seeking what the whole world is looking
567:36 seeking what the whole world is looking for and his conclusion very wisely that
567:38 for and his conclusion very wisely that what the whole world is looking for what
567:40 what the whole world is looking for what you and I are looking for is some
567:42 you and I are looking for is some mission that we can lose ourselves in
567:46 mission that we can lose ourselves in that somehow enriches and en Nobles and
567:49 that somehow enriches and en Nobles and benefits the lives of other people in
567:51 benefits the lives of other people in fact we have found that we only become
567:53 fact we have found that we only become great to the degree to which we are you
567:56 great to the degree to which we are you are able to lose yourself in something
568:00 are able to lose yourself in something bigger and grander and better than
568:03 bigger and grander and better than yourself that's why selfish people for
568:05 yourself that's why selfish people for instance people who think only of
568:07 instance people who think only of themselves are only to be pied because
568:09 themselves are only to be pied because they never have any Joy or happiness or
568:11 they never have any Joy or happiness or fulfillment now Mother Teresa or Albert
568:13 fulfillment now Mother Teresa or Albert schwier or some of these people maybe
568:14 schwier or some of these people maybe they never made very much money but the
568:16 they never made very much money but the contribution that they made the model
568:19 contribution that they made the model that they set the example that they set
568:20 that they set the example that they set for us has affected more people than
568:23 for us has affected more people than perhaps all the people who may have made
568:24 perhaps all the people who may have made money throughout all of history it's
568:27 money throughout all of history it's only when you find a mission in which
568:29 only when you find a mission in which you can lose
568:31 you can lose yourself that you achieve true greatness
568:33 yourself that you achieve true greatness in life from the time we began this
568:35 in life from the time we began this seminar to now we have been aiming it at
568:38 seminar to now we have been aiming it at this one simple conclusion that the
568:40 this one simple conclusion that the purpose of life your purpose your
568:43 purpose of life your purpose your Earthly purpose is simply this it is to
568:47 Earthly purpose is simply this it is to develop and become a totally loving
568:50 develop and become a totally loving person it is to look at the great models
568:52 person it is to look at the great models of mankind and you'll find that the
568:54 of mankind and you'll find that the great models of mankind the ones who
568:57 great models of mankind the ones who have had an impact far beyond their
568:59 have had an impact far beyond their times Jesus and Buddha and Muhammad and
569:02 times Jesus and Buddha and Muhammad and the teachers and Scholars of all the
569:03 the teachers and Scholars of all the religions have been those who have
569:05 religions have been those who have strived toward becoming totally loving
569:08 strived toward becoming totally loving toward other people they have given
569:09 toward other people they have given their entire lives in service and
569:12 their entire lives in service and service is the word how can you tell if
569:16 service is the word how can you tell if you're a loving person you can tell by
569:18 you're a loving person you can tell by the value and the quality and the
569:20 the value and the quality and the quantity of the service
569:22 quantity of the service that you give to others unselfishly from
569:25 that you give to others unselfishly from your heart with no hope of reward now
569:27 your heart with no hope of reward now become by becoming totally loving
569:29 become by becoming totally loving persons there's a very simple measure we
569:31 persons there's a very simple measure we develop loving
569:32 develop loving relationships that's why we talk about
569:34 relationships that's why we talk about how important it is with regard to our
569:37 how important it is with regard to our marriages there are many people who want
569:39 marriages there are many people who want to go out in the world and develop
569:41 to go out in the world and develop loving relationships but they haven't
569:43 loving relationships but they haven't yet developed those beautiful loving
569:45 yet developed those beautiful loving relationships at home with their spouses
569:47 relationships at home with their spouses and with their children with their close
569:49 and with their children with their close friends so developing loveing
569:50 friends so developing loveing relationships is the highest order of
569:53 relationships is the highest order of human life how can you tell because at
569:55 human life how can you tell because at any single time in your life if you want
569:56 any single time in your life if you want to take stock of your assets if you want
569:59 to take stock of your assets if you want to take stock of your accomplishments
570:01 to take stock of your accomplishments your most precious resources you will
570:04 your most precious resources you will find that they will always be caught up
570:06 find that they will always be caught up in the people that you love and have
570:08 in the people that you love and have loved and the people who love you and
570:11 loved and the people who love you and who have loved you that when you look
570:13 who have loved you that when you look back over the landscape of your life as
570:15 back over the landscape of your life as and an adult or as an older person you
570:17 and an adult or as an older person you look back and you'll find that you won't
570:19 look back and you'll find that you won't remember the money that you made or the
570:21 remember the money that you made or the careers that you or the jobs that you
570:23 careers that you or the jobs that you have what you'll remember is the people
570:24 have what you'll remember is the people you loved and the people who loved you
570:26 you loved and the people who loved you and the people who still do so
570:28 and the people who still do so developing a high quality and quantity
570:30 developing a high quality and quantity of loving relationships is the great
570:33 of loving relationships is the great business of Life the people like Jesus
570:35 business of Life the people like Jesus and Buddha and Muhammad and St Francis
570:37 and Buddha and Muhammad and St Francis and others of this day and previous days
570:39 and others of this day and previous days are men and women who committed their
570:41 are men and women who committed their lives to serving others and they did it
570:44 lives to serving others and they did it because they had this tremendous love to
570:46 because they had this tremendous love to give away to mankind now how do you
570:48 give away to mankind now how do you become a totally loving person it's not
570:50 become a totally loving person it's not that complicated it's not easy but it is
570:53 that complicated it's not easy but it is simple number one is accept yourself
570:56 simple number one is accept yourself unconditionally accept yourself as a
570:59 unconditionally accept yourself as a valuable and worthwhile human being
571:01 valuable and worthwhile human being don't be the type of person who doesn't
571:03 don't be the type of person who doesn't feel that they're good enough just
571:04 feel that they're good enough just accept yourself unconditionally
571:06 accept yourself unconditionally recognize that you were put here on this
571:08 recognize that you were put here on this Earth for a specific purpose a valuable
571:11 Earth for a specific purpose a valuable purpose that God doesn't make anybody
571:13 purpose that God doesn't make anybody extra then God Don't Make No Junk that
571:15 extra then God Don't Make No Junk that there is nobody on this earth that is
571:17 there is nobody on this earth that is here for no reason everybody has a
571:19 here for no reason everybody has a purpose and your purpose is to find your
571:21 purpose and your purpose is to find your purpose your purpose is to find your
571:23 purpose your purpose is to find your mission the place where you can make a
571:25 mission the place where you can make a significant contribution the second part
571:28 significant contribution the second part of becoming a totally loving person is
571:30 of becoming a totally loving person is to accept total responsibility for
571:33 to accept total responsibility for everything that you are and everything
571:34 everything that you are and everything that you become accept total
571:36 that you become accept total responsibility which means no blaming no
571:41 responsibility which means no blaming no excuses just get on with it number three
571:45 excuses just get on with it number three is learn to
571:47 is learn to forgive again the key to the kingdom of
571:51 forgive again the key to the kingdom of heaven is forgiveness the key to the
571:54 heaven is forgiveness the key to the kingdom of heaven the key to all
571:55 kingdom of heaven the key to all Spiritual Development the Straight Gate
571:58 Spiritual Development the Straight Gate is forgiveness the ability to freely
572:01 is forgiveness the ability to freely forgive other people no grudges no anger
572:05 forgive other people no grudges no anger no frustration no grudges just let go of
572:08 no frustration no grudges just let go of all grievances against you that's why it
572:10 all grievances against you that's why it says in the Lord's Prayer it says and
572:12 says in the Lord's Prayer it says and forgive us our sins as we forgive those
572:15 forgive us our sins as we forgive those who who have sinned against us number
572:17 who who have sinned against us number four is feed your mind with Loving
572:20 four is feed your mind with Loving Thoughts feed your mind with loving
572:23 Thoughts feed your mind with loving positive thoughts don't feed your mind
572:26 positive thoughts don't feed your mind with mental candy don't feed your mind
572:27 with mental candy don't feed your mind with mental junk feed your mind with a
572:30 with mental junk feed your mind with a kind of thoughts that are consistent
572:32 kind of thoughts that are consistent with you becoming the very best person
572:34 with you becoming the very best person that you can possibly be number five is
572:37 that you can possibly be number five is set noble goals and work toward them set
572:41 set noble goals and work toward them set noble goals and ideals to be the guiding
572:44 noble goals and ideals to be the guiding lights of your life Noble ideals and
572:46 lights of your life Noble ideals and values say to yourself are these the
572:49 values say to yourself are these the values are these the goals are these the
572:51 values are these the goals are these the ideals of the very best person that you
572:53 ideals of the very best person that you could possibly be number six is take
572:56 could possibly be number six is take good care of your body take good care of
572:59 good care of your body take good care of your body remember the body is the
573:01 your body remember the body is the Temple of the Soul take good care of
573:03 Temple of the Soul take good care of your body put into it good food give it
573:06 your body put into it good food give it good exercise give it good rest give it
573:08 good exercise give it good rest give it good nutrition take good care of your
573:10 good nutrition take good care of your body and number seven practice the
573:12 body and number seven practice the Golden Rule practice the golden rule in
573:15 Golden Rule practice the golden rule in that practice kindness patience
573:18 that practice kindness patience tolerance more than anything else
573:20 tolerance more than anything else tolerance of the diversity and
573:21 tolerance of the diversity and difference of other
573:23 difference of other people toward others love understanding
573:27 people toward others love understanding compassion remember everybody in the
573:29 compassion remember everybody in the world is carrying a heavy load now as
573:31 world is carrying a heavy load now as you practice these principles you will
573:35 you practice these principles you will start to become a more and more loving
573:37 start to become a more and more loving person as you practice these principles
573:39 person as you practice these principles you will find yourself drawn almost
573:42 you will find yourself drawn almost inevitably almost inexorably you'll find
573:45 inevitably almost inexorably you'll find yourself drawn toward your mission
573:47 yourself drawn toward your mission you'll find yourself drawn toward the
573:49 you'll find yourself drawn toward the area of service now believe me one of
573:52 area of service now believe me one of the best areas of service in the whole
573:54 the best areas of service in the whole world is the business world because our
573:56 world is the business world because our free enterprise system is based on
573:58 free enterprise system is based on serving other human beings but you can
574:00 serving other human beings but you can serve other people in any profession in
574:03 serve other people in any profession in any capacity you'll have an opportunity
574:05 any capacity you'll have an opportunity to give and to increase the quality and
574:07 to give and to increase the quality and quantity of your service to others to
574:09 quantity of your service to others to enhance and enrich and uplift the lives
574:12 enhance and enrich and uplift the lives of other people remember you're put on
574:14 of other people remember you're put on this Earth to do something for other
574:16 this Earth to do something for other people the measure of how well you're
574:18 people the measure of how well you're doing as a human being is very simply
574:21 doing as a human being is very simply this is that you only have love to the
574:24 this is that you only have love to the degree to which you express love to
574:27 degree to which you express love to others you only have love to the degree
574:30 others you only have love to the degree to which you express love to others in
574:33 to which you express love to others in other words you do not have love in
574:35 other words you do not have love in isolation of other human beings you
574:38 isolation of other human beings you cannot say I am a loving person without
574:40 cannot say I am a loving person without having loving relationships as the proof
574:43 having loving relationships as the proof if you like you can only have love to
574:45 if you like you can only have love to the degree to which you feel love for
574:49 the degree to which you feel love for other persons so the more you express
574:51 other persons so the more you express love to other people and that's why we
574:53 love to other people and that's why we are given families and that's why we are
574:55 are given families and that's why we are given intimate relationships and that's
574:57 given intimate relationships and that's why children are sent to us to teach us
574:59 why children are sent to us to teach us to develop our breadth and depth and
575:01 to develop our breadth and depth and capacity for love in such a way that we
575:03 capacity for love in such a way that we could never learn otherwise so we
575:06 could never learn otherwise so we express love to others and then once you
575:09 express love to others and then once you develop love for yourself by accepting
575:12 develop love for yourself by accepting yourself unconditionally practice giving
575:14 yourself unconditionally practice giving your love away practice giving your love
575:18 your love away practice giving your love away you see an interesting thing about
575:20 away you see an interesting thing about love is that
575:23 love is that love only Grows by sharing that love
575:27 love only Grows by sharing that love only Grows by sharing you cannot have
575:28 only Grows by sharing you cannot have any more love than you have right at
575:30 any more love than you have right at this moment in your life except to the
575:32 this moment in your life except to the degree to which you give it away to
575:34 degree to which you give it away to other people so love only Grows by
575:44 sharing now the wonderful thing is that the more you give away the more you have
575:47 the more you give away the more you have the more You Give Love Away the more you
575:49 the more You Give Love Away the more you have so the more you give the more you
575:52 have so the more you give the more you have to give the less you give the less
575:55 have to give the less you give the less you have to give this is where the law
575:58 you have to give this is where the law the more you give the more you have you
576:01 the more you give the more you have you can never give it
576:02 can never give it away this is where the law of sewing and
576:05 away this is where the law of sewing and reaping comes in more than anything else
576:08 reaping comes in more than anything else the law of compensation in that you if
576:10 the law of compensation in that you if you give just a little bit of love away
576:14 you give just a little bit of love away just a little bit it's enough because
576:17 just a little bit it's enough because that alone will cause a flow to start
576:20 that alone will cause a flow to start coming back to you if you give a little
576:21 coming back to you if you give a little bit more more will come back to you
576:23 bit more more will come back to you until you get onto the upward spiral of
576:25 until you get onto the upward spiral of life now many years ago I met a
576:28 life now many years ago I met a beautiful grandmother who had come up in
576:29 beautiful grandmother who had come up in a home where her parents had taught her
576:32 a home where her parents had taught her to be kind and compassionate and loving
576:35 to be kind and compassionate and loving to others and when her parents died she
576:39 to others and when her parents died she went back and met with her other
576:41 went back and met with her other brothers and sisters to divide up their
576:43 brothers and sisters to divide up their possessions and there only one thing
576:44 possessions and there only one thing that she wanted she'd married a very
576:46 that she wanted she'd married a very rich industrialist the only one thing
576:47 rich industrialist the only one thing she wanted was a little plaque that hung
576:49 she wanted was a little plaque that hung over the fireplace of that loving home
576:51 over the fireplace of that loving home home all the time she was growing up and
576:53 home all the time she was growing up and on the plaque was a little quatrain or
576:55 on the plaque was a little quatrain or little verse and I when she told it to
576:57 little verse and I when she told it to me I wrote it down and I'll share it
576:59 me I wrote it down and I'll share it with you and it said this it
577:00 with you and it said this it said only one life that soon has
577:04 said only one life that soon has passed only what's done with love will
577:08 passed only what's done with love will last only one life that soon is passed
577:12 last only one life that soon is passed only what's done with love will last now
577:16 only what's done with love will last now if you understand that you realize if
577:18 if you understand that you realize if you look back over your life you'll find
577:19 you look back over your life you'll find that only the things that you did with
577:20 that only the things that you did with love have lasted only the things that
577:23 love have lasted only the things that were done with love have had any lasting
577:25 were done with love have had any lasting value and if you use that as your
577:27 value and if you use that as your guiding organizing principle in life
577:29 guiding organizing principle in life that only what's done with love will
577:31 that only what's done with love will last you will start to move and evolve
577:34 last you will start to move and evolve more surely toward the Stars the
577:36 more surely toward the Stars the opposite of Love is fear the opposite of
577:40 opposite of Love is fear the opposite of fear is love if fear is the great
577:42 fear is love if fear is the great obstacle that holds us back from
577:43 obstacle that holds us back from fulfilling our potential love is the
577:46 fulfilling our potential love is the great doorway that kicks open all the
577:48 great doorway that kicks open all the possibilities of the universe for us and
577:50 possibilities of the universe for us and if you will practice this first of all
577:52 if you will practice this first of all learn to love and accept yourself
577:54 learn to love and accept yourself unconditionally you are valuable you are
577:57 unconditionally you are valuable you are a valuable and worthwhile human being no
578:00 a valuable and worthwhile human being no matter what happens you are still a
578:02 matter what happens you are still a valuable and worthwhile human being love
578:05 valuable and worthwhile human being love yourself unconditionally accept full
578:07 yourself unconditionally accept full responsibility for your life freely
578:09 responsibility for your life freely forgive others look for the best take
578:12 forgive others look for the best take care of yourself work on goals that are
578:14 care of yourself work on goals that are worthy of you set a mission that is
578:17 worthy of you set a mission that is challenging for you and practice giving
578:19 challenging for you and practice giving your love away to others and you will
578:21 your love away to others and you will develop more surely toward the Stars I
578:25 develop more surely toward the Stars I wish you luck I wish you success I wish
578:29 wish you luck I wish you success I wish you love thank you very
578:32 you love thank you very much this is the end of side two please
578:35 much this is the end of side two please fast forward the tape to the end to que
578:37 fast forward the tape to the end to que up side one for your next listening
