Skip watching entire videos - get the full transcript, search for keywords, and copy with one click.
Share:
Video Transcript
all right jeffy here's your pizza in
your wings
wait jeffy put your eye back in your
socket no jeffy if your eye falls out
again we have to go back to the hospital
um mario i can't eat this why there's
meat on it
and i'm a vegetarian now since when
about five minutes ago come on just eat
the pizzas it's good pizza you've eaten
pizza before
i don't like pizza
baby how old are you how old are you why
would you do that
well jeffy does it all the time i
thought it was acceptable behavior
we [ __ ] it yes i did because you are [ __ ]
[ __ ]
what are you doing with that mallet i'm
beating my meat damn it
i can get paper towel when i clean up
all this mess oh god
mommy they're yelling me and i'm scared
why are you scared jeffy
mommy i'm scared that dad's gonna stick
his fingers on my butt oh
what i won't let that happen jeffy i'll
protect you
all right everybody grab a paper towel
it's time to clean up mario
don't you dare stick your fingers in
jeffy's butt
that's fine daddy my butthole is exit
only the only person that can stick
their fingers in my butt is me
what are we talking about mario i would
like to have an adult conversation
okay about what i don't appreciate how
you raised your voice in me
well i don't appreciate that you threw a
plane at the wall and i sure as i don't
appreciate jeffy beating food with a
mallet there you go
yelling again oh okay i'm sorry i yelled
i don't appreciate that you threw a
plate at the wall
and i sure as hell don't appreciate
jeffy beating his food with a mallet hey
i'm dying
shut up eat your pizza jeffy i won't win
daddy well then eat the wings jeffy
mario i admit throwing the plate at the
wall was wrong
and i apologize well i thought you're
apologetic how you open this oh you just
you whoa
jeffy you ruined the wings jeffy you've
worn pepper all over the ring
you ruined it you're so stupid one day
i'm tired of you yelling at me i'm gonna
eat these wings
mario i think you need to change your
attitude well i think jeffy needs to
check his attitude jeffy needs to change
his entire brain
that's mean mario you know i'm gonna
watch tv upstairs i can't take this
right now
these wings are smell good [Music]
[Music]
jeffy can you pass me the remote my
hands don't work
mario while we're talking about things
and putting it all out there
i don't like how you pee on the toilet
seat well i can't help it baby sometimes
you know it dribbles you know mario if
you shake it more than twice you're just
playing with yourself
well i play with myself every day
jeffy just eat your wings mario it takes
two seconds to lift the lid
[Applause]
is that even possible like mario don't
kick it it's not a soccer ball
it might as well be there's nothing but
air in it that's just rude mario
what are we gonna do we need to call a
doctor we'll call a doctor
okay jeffy jeffy
jeffy jeffy jeffy are you okay
don't worry the doctor will be here any
minute hey man what's up oh thank god
you're here uh cc my son jeffy uh
he sneezes brain out oh he sneezed his
brain out
yeah oh so he doesn't need a new brain
no his brain right here doesn't need a
new one oh well you see i brought along
my recycled brain bin because i thought
he needed a new brain
recycled brain bin yeah yeah i just i
bring all these brains in case people
need me to put a new brain in
well no his brain right here doesn't
need a new one oh well what happened oh
well you see
he was smelling this pepper and he ended
up seasoning his brain out oh yep i
heard of that people smelling pep until
they sneeze the brain out happens all
the time
happens all the time oh yeah you should
never smell peppa directly sneeze your
brain right out of your head
oh well do you think you'll be able to
put the brain back in his head oh yeah
it's really easy you can see that
whoa this is slippery right whoa oh no
oh this is bad this is really really bad
what'd you do oh you see the brain was
really slippery and i accidentally
dropped it into the brain bin and now i
don't know which brain is his
oh no which one is his i don't know i
think it's this one i think it might be
this one mario what's going on
the brilliant doctor here drop jeffy's
brain into the brain bin
oh no which one is his i think it's this
one i think it might be this one
i think it's this one oh we don't know
which one is his we'll never find it oh
okay i'll tell you what we're gonna do
we're gonna go through each of these
brains one at a time and put him in his
head until we find the one that belongs
to him
is that healthy no not at all that's
gonna take forever look at all these brains
brains
and and who used to own these brains oh
well all kinds of people like thugs and
serial killers and maybe like a
president or two
that that's so dangerous okay if we're
gonna do it then we should at least try
this one first because i think it's this
one go i'm the doctor and i'm saying
we're trying this one first
all right doctor are you sure this is
gonna work i'm gonna be honest with you
i'm hilarious oh can you just hurry up
this is filler no okay uh sweetheart
could you hold open his skull please
wait what yeah i cut
i cut into a skull could you hold it open
toss it in there damn it one more try
suck at carnival games okay can you just
put it in there stop throwing it all
right i'll just
jam it in there close it up there we go
now let's see how he acts
jeffy you feeling all right man who the
[ __ ] jeffy is [ __ ]
my and you in the name [ __ ]
hood [ __ ] man this [ __ ] bird gang
[ __ ] you better run in [ __ ]
pockets both of you [ __ ] better
run in [ __ ] pockets oh hitler
mustache having ass races ass [ __ ]
[ __ ]
is that him you know i'm i'm not quite
sure jeffy
are you feeling okay oh [ __ ] look at
that old fire booty [ __ ] right here oh
let me suck on him titties
oh that's that's definitely not him
that's definitely not him me i'll beat
this booty like [ __ ] bongos
like call me tarzan [ __ ] what do
we do what do we do
all right just just hit him in the head
with him okay yeah squad up
all right let's get that brain out yeah
well this wasn't the right brain
yeah it must have been the brain of a
gangsta well it's not the right one yeah
and you're the one who chose it i told
you that wasn't the right one well let's
try the one you wanted genius yeah
this has got to be the right one alright
open up this is the right one yeah
all right guys jeffy's back to normal i
chose the right brain
my name is vladimir and i like to kill people
people
i don't like to use weapons because
they're too
quick i like to strangle them with my
bare hands
and eat their last breath oh
my breath now i like to savor their
soul and my mouth and gain their
memories for my own
he's a russian serial killer where to go
champ oh yeah that's that's not
that's not the right jeffy i'll give me
the mallet okay
okay we're not gonna die he doesn't even
use weapons right we use weapons you
have a mallet i don't need this
c doesn't have it anymore oh okay i
think i know what to do he likes to
choke people right
okay so what if one of us volunteers get
choked and while he's choking one of us
i come up behind him with a mallet and i
knock him out
not me mario okay what about you why
don't you get choked okay i i mean get choked
choked
although i couldn't possibly i don't
wanna be choked i'm not into that or
anything but
oh no you're making me go stop pushing
me hey there big boy
i mean please don't choke my very
chokeable neck
i'm gonna eat your last breath shook me on
on [Music]
[Music]
oh why'd you stop i i mean thank you
okay he's knocked out
yeah all right this was definitely not
the right brain you said that was gonna
be the one
well i thought it was but yours is bad
too well yours is worse
i guess you're right let's try mine
mario all right let's give it a shot i
mean yeah there you go
anything could be better than that one
oh he's mexican does uh anyone speak
spanish oh oh i do i got this uh senor
uh no estes uh entou cuerpo real
nope don't give me none of that estes i
don't wanna know that [ __ ]
and i ain't no queerprosexual either
wait what
wait you're not mexican hell no i ain't
no god
damn mexican i bleed red white and blue
so so where did you get the sombrero and
the maracas from oh i got my nacho hat
my baby rattle from a damn kitty meal at
taco bell
i sure love me some tequiters so so he's
just a redneck yeah he's just a redneck
girl you're pretty or my mama's yellow
teeth if i wasn't married to my sister
i'd take you out to bum [ __ ]
and split a beer with you and watch nascar
nascar
so which one of you something [ __ ]
voted for trump raise your hand if you
voted for trump
can we knock him out yeah i'll knock him out
thank you for calling tech support my
name is muhammad how may i help you today
today
it's another call center guy another
call center guy you know what to do
knock him out hi guys if you're just
giving me your social security number
okay look looks like we only have one
brain left one left that has to be it
yeah okay yeah so uh we've been here
forever and i'm really tired so i'm
going home but you know what to do all
right all right this has to be jeffy's
brain all right oh man i'm so glad to
have the original jeffy back
bonjour francois
i like his voice mario it's dreamy oh
but but it's not jeffy's voice that's
not jeffy's brain wait wait
there's no more brains left where's
jeffy's brain i like this jeffy mario
his voice is hot
oh you like it when i speak french don't
you mancherie
let me tell you something very sexy i
have a very messy diaper
it is on the outside of my pants oh okay
that's it i'm knocking him out mario why
because you're flirting with him oh
don't be jealous mario
i'm not afraid that i'm going to steal
your hoe as you say
these hoes are not loyal oh okay that's
it i am completely not getting him out i
like to smack my diaper and make the uh
all right that's it oh damn what the
[ __ ] was that for
jesse jeffy yeah it's me [ __ ] you
weren't you wouldn't be
you were just speaking french jeffy yeah
i learned it from my daddy
why don't you speak french more jeffy
frank i don't even know a friend james
what jeffy you were just speaking okay
i'm not gonna argue i'm not gonna argue
he's just
he's just being dumb okay all right so
jeffy's brain
is back in his body and everything's
back to normal right yes mario
okay all right everything's good i'm
just gonna eat me some uh some wings
oh are you okay jeffy go get mario's
brain off the floor okay mommy hmm
which one's daddy's brain jeffy hurry
okay mommy whoa you a big titty [ __ ] i
beat them titties like bongos call me tarzan
tarzan [Music]
Click on any text or timestamp to jump to that moment in the video
Share:
Most transcripts ready in under 5 seconds
One-Click Copy125+ LanguagesSearch ContentJump to Timestamps
Paste YouTube URL
Enter any YouTube video link to get the full transcript
Transcript Extraction Form
Most transcripts ready in under 5 seconds
Get Our Chrome Extension
Get transcripts instantly without leaving YouTube. Install our Chrome extension for one-click access to any video's transcript directly on the watch page.
Chrome Extension