nothing so this is what we want to do we want to utilize language so as we Pro
want to utilize language so as we Pro discover our emotions then that allows
discover our emotions then that allows us to do a couple of different things
us to do a couple of different things okay so we're going to go back to this
okay so we're going to go back to this person who's
person who's numb oh God
uh where is that quote looking for the one oh yeah okay
quote looking for the one oh yeah okay here it
here it is
is so remember this where we say it's a
so remember this where we say it's a blank I think about my kids and I feel
blank I think about my kids and I feel nothing for them I'll be sitting there
nothing for them I'll be sitting there feeling confused and numb and I wonder
feeling confused and numb and I wonder what's supposed to it's like a dead
what's supposed to it's like a dead space right so this is dorsal medial
space right so this is dorsal medial prefrontal cortex is not active
prefrontal cortex is not active now when this person lives this life
and they go to their child's birthday party and they feel
party and they feel nothing there's nothing they don't have
nothing there's nothing they don't have a s like their identity is lost does
a s like their identity is lost does this make sense because like if you
this make sense because like if you think about what does it mean to be a
think about what does it mean to be a parent like I went to this birthday
parent like I went to this birthday party for my kid I planned it I saw the
party for my kid I planned it I saw the Joy on their face I saw all their
Joy on their face I saw all their friends be super super happy they've
friends be super super happy they've been struggling to make friends at
been struggling to make friends at school but everyone had such a good time
school but everyone had such a good time that now their social like status
that now their social like status amongst their friends is now improved so
amongst their friends is now improved so that makes me happy now I feel like a
that makes me happy now I feel like a good parent but I can't feel like a good
good parent but I can't feel like a good parent unless I can connect with the joy
parent unless I can connect with the joy in my
in my child so not only does this person feel
child so not only does this person feel emotionally enough their sense of
emotionally enough their sense of identity is going to be
identity is going to be compromised so that's where once we
compromised so that's where once we start feeling things we're going to do
start feeling things we're going to do two things to rebuild our sense of
two things to rebuild our sense of identity the first is there's a lot of
identity the first is there's a lot of dormant negative emotion which our mind
dormant negative emotion which our mind has dissociated from which still lingers
has dissociated from which still lingers there and the reason we dissociate from
there and the reason we dissociate from it is because it's overwhelming if we
it is because it's overwhelming if we let it overwhelm us our sense of
let it overwhelm us our sense of identity will get swept away so as we
identity will get swept away so as we start connecting the two parts of our
start connecting the two parts of our brain and articulating stuff all of that
brain and articulating stuff all of that emotional Energy starts getting vented
emotional Energy starts getting vented and essentially the negative emotions
and essentially the negative emotions that we store start
that we store start leaving if you do this process in
leaving if you do this process in Psychotherapy even better because it'll
Psychotherapy even better because it'll go
go faster as these things start to
faster as these things start to leave then your negative sense of
leave then your negative sense of identity will disappear with it the
identity will disappear with it the second thing that will happen is you
second thing that will happen is you will start to be able to engage in
will start to be able to engage in positive experiences which will then
positive experiences which will then recreate your
recreate your identity so now when you climb to the
identity so now when you climb to the top of the mountain you'll feel
top of the mountain you'll feel something and then you'll be like I did
something and then you'll be like I did it right so in both cases you did it but
it right so in both cases you did it but in one case you don't feel that you did
in one case you don't feel that you did it and in the other case you feel that
it and in the other case you feel that you did it you need dorsal medial
you did it you need dorsal medial prefrontal activation to feel like you
prefrontal activation to feel like you did
did it
it okay then what happens is once we awaken
okay then what happens is once we awaken different parts of the
brain where's [Music]
I can't find it what the okay I'll just explain it to yall
okay I'll just explain it to yall without showing you all the paper okay
without showing you all the paper okay I'll try to find it later
I'll try to find it later oh okay so
oh okay so next thing
next thing is
um what did I want to say so the next thing is that if we look
thing is that if we look at the Neuroscience of
at the Neuroscience of emotions what we now know is that not
emotions what we now know is that not all emotions are like the same
all emotions are like the same Neuroscience so we have something called
Neuroscience so we have something called affective
affective Neuroscience which is the emotions that
Neuroscience which is the emotions that relate to like the way that we feel
relate to like the way that we feel about the way we feel about our not
about the way we feel about our not about ourselves the way that we feel let
about ourselves the way that we feel let me start over so we now know that
me start over so we now know that emotions can be divided into two
emotions can be divided into two camps affective Neuroscience are the
camps affective Neuroscience are the emotions that are independent of society
emotions that are independent of society so for example if I'm hiking down a
so for example if I'm hiking down a mountain and a bear shows
mountain and a bear shows up like I can feel fear or Joy or
up like I can feel fear or Joy or whatever right like I can feel that like
whatever right like I can feel that like I don't need a human being but if we
I don't need a human being but if we look at human emotions there's a pile of
look at human emotions there's a pile of human emotions that require a social
human emotions that require a social connection
connection shame guilt Pride you cannot be proud
shame guilt Pride you cannot be proud without someone observing your pride you
without someone observing your pride you cannot be shamed without being observed
cannot be shamed without being observed you can't feel guilty without doing
you can't feel guilty without doing something bad for someone else so what
something bad for someone else so what we've actually discovered is that there
we've actually discovered is that there a couple of different emotional centers
a couple of different emotional centers in the brain and these primitive
in the brain and these primitive emotions that reptiles reptiles can feel
emotions that reptiles reptiles can feel fear they can feel anger right but I
fear they can feel anger right but I don't know that reptiles can feel proud
don't know that reptiles can feel proud like I don't know if like a crocodile
like I don't know if like a crocodile like has the social connection with
like has the social connection with other crocodiles to feel Pride when we
other crocodiles to feel Pride when we get to primates and stuff they
get to primates and stuff they absolutely can so there is a social
absolutely can so there is a social connection pile of emotions those
connection pile of emotions those emotions exist in a different part of
emotions exist in a different part of the brain they get activated under
the brain they get activated under different circumstances so once we start
different circumstances so once we start developing our identity these emotions
developing our identity these emotions will arise as well they will start
will arise as well they will start getting fixed once these emotions get
getting fixed once these emotions get fixed so it's not just the sense of
fixed so it's not just the sense of identity so now I built a sense of
identity so now I built a sense of identity and my social cognitive
identity and my social cognitive emotions have become active so once
emotions have become active so once these two things get fixed now I can fix
relationships because when the shame Within Me is haywire and not functioning
Within Me is haywire and not functioning correctly it becomes very hard to engage
correctly it becomes very hard to engage in a relationship my partner tells me I
in a relationship my partner tells me I love you I think you're beautiful and I
love you I think you're beautiful and I feel ashamed of myself so I say no I'm
not so that becomes hard until that part of my brain gets kind of cleaned out and
of my brain gets kind of cleaned out and normalized then I can do things like
normalized then I can do things like accept
compliments okay so then the last thing to get fixed is
to get fixed is relationships now in our community why
relationships now in our community why is this
is this important see in our community there's a
important see in our community there's a lot of people especially because today's
lot of people especially because today's a Friday and Friday is relationships day
a Friday and Friday is relationships day who are saying I'm struggling to get
who are saying I'm struggling to get into a relationship and outside of our
into a relationship and outside of our community not just our commun everyone's
community not just our commun everyone's struggling to get into a relationship
struggling to get into a relationship right some people are you know having
right some people are you know having sex and stuff some people are friends
sex and stuff some people are friends with benefits very few people are happy
with benefits very few people are happy with their relationships and people say
with their relationships and people say how do I fix my relationship how do I
how do I fix my relationship how do I fix my relationship and what everyone
fix my relationship and what everyone says is work on yourself first and then
says is work on yourself first and then people get frustrated by this
people get frustrated by this answer now I hope yall understand the
answer now I hope yall understand the mechanism
mechanism see this is where like when I see people
see this is where like when I see people like tweeting stuff I can't say all of
like tweeting stuff I can't say all of this but if you want to understand how
this but if you want to understand how to fix your relationship or if anyone
to fix your relationship or if anyone you know wants to understand how to fix
you know wants to understand how to fix them Rel their relationship they need to
them Rel their relationship they need to watch this
watch this video because we have to understand that
video because we have to understand that the
the relationship is at the height of what a
relationship is at the height of what a human being can fix it is at the top of
human being can fix it is at the top of the pyramid you can't fix a relationship
the pyramid you can't fix a relationship if you don't feel emotions you can't fix
if you don't feel emotions you can't fix a relationship if your emotions are
a relationship if your emotions are disregulated you can't fix a
disregulated you can't fix a relationship if your dorsal medial
relationship if your dorsal medial prefrontal cortex cannot feel Joy and
prefrontal cortex cannot feel Joy and accomplishment you can't fix a
accomplishment you can't fix a relationship if your sense of identity
relationship if your sense of identity turns you into either a chameleon or a
doormat the relation the best way to make a healthy relationship is to be a
make a healthy relationship is to be a healthy human
healthy human being now this gets even further
being now this gets even further complicated because part of being a
complicated because part of being a healthy human being can come through
healthy human being can come through relationships absolutely
but this is what we're talking about right so this is where people say like
right so this is where people say like how do I like get this person to do this
how do I like get this person to do this get this person to do this get this
get this person to do this get this person to do this and here I am I'm
person to do this and here I am I'm talking about how to fix your
talking about how to fix your relationships and I've not given you one
relationships and I've not given you one ioda of advice about what to do if
ioda of advice about what to do if someone doesn't text you back and I
someone doesn't text you back and I don't need to and you don't need
don't need to and you don't need it if the brain that has evolved for
it if the brain that has evolved for millions of years to allow you to engage
millions of years to allow you to engage in
in relationships I hate to break it to
relationships I hate to break it to youall a thousand years ago 2,000 years
youall a thousand years ago 2,000 years ago there weren't all these guides from
ago there weren't all these guides from Dr K about how to get laate or how to go
Dr K about how to get laate or how to go on a date or how to set boundaries none
on a date or how to set boundaries none of that that crap existed and people got
of that that crap existed and people got along what has changed this has changed
along what has changed this has changed the activity of this the function of
the activity of this the function of this so if you fix this if you fix your
this so if you fix this if you fix your sense of identity fix your emotional
sense of identity fix your emotional awareness because why do we end up in
awareness because why do we end up in bad relationships because we're not
bad relationships because we're not aware of our emotions when someone
aware of our emotions when someone doesn't text me back in 5 minutes I get
angry like I can't regulate that anger there's emotional
there's emotional disregulation there are perception
disregulation there are perception problems we haven't touched on
problems we haven't touched on perception yet but we talk about it in
perception yet but we talk about it in the guide there's all kinds of problems
the guide there's all kinds of problems and then we'll have a whole video on sex
and then we'll have a whole video on sex and relationship I mean sex and trauma
and relationship I mean sex and trauma too because that's really
too because that's really important okay
important okay so complex
so complex PTSD oh let me show youall one last
oh boy hold
on there's something I got I got to show youall okay this is like very
okay I I I can okay here here it is so let's talk about treatment okay so
is so let's talk about treatment okay so um we talked a little bit teaching uh
um we talked a little bit teaching uh PTSD patients with impair impairments
PTSD patients with impair impairments and emotional awareness to identify
and emotional awareness to identify their affective feelings early on in
their affective feelings early on in treatment and make exposure Bas
treatment and make exposure Bas treatments more effective so we need to
treatments more effective so we need to understand our emotions um yoga has also
understand our emotions um yoga has also been suggested to be effective in
been suggested to be effective in treating PTSD partially by increasing
treating PTSD partially by increasing one's interoceptive ability here's what
one's interoceptive ability here's what I want to show
I want to show youall okay
youall okay okay further evidence for the latter
okay further evidence for the latter stems from investigation by hagars who
stems from investigation by hagars who reported a differential outcome for PTSD
reported a differential outcome for PTSD patients with high versus low
patients with high versus low dissociative
dissociative symptomatology okay so remember
symptomatology okay so remember dissociation is hemispheric
dissociation is hemispheric lateralization and remember that
lateralization and remember that exposure therapy is often times what we
exposure therapy is often times what we do so let's take a step back and I got
do so let's take a step back and I got to explain this I realized talk about
to explain this I realized talk about this so one of the treatments for PTSD
this so one of the treatments for PTSD is exposure therapy so the reason that
is exposure therapy so the reason that we do exposure therapy is if let's say
we do exposure therapy is if let's say that I'm a war veteran and when I hear a
that I'm a war veteran and when I hear a door slam my brain because I'm
door slam my brain because I'm hyperaroused triggers like we're getting
hyperaroused triggers like we're getting bombed exe that's the basic problem in
bombed exe that's the basic problem in PTSD is that we go to war and we hear a
PTSD is that we go to war and we hear a loud bang and then our brain is like I'm
loud bang and then our brain is like I'm going to code we're getting bomb. exe
going to code we're getting bomb. exe any time you hear a loud noise
any time you hear a loud noise dive under the
dive under the table so now as I return back to life I
table so now as I return back to life I will hear loud noises all the time car
will hear loud noises all the time car muffers going
muffers going off door slamming and now I'm triggering
off door slamming and now I'm triggering we're getting bomb. exe so we get this
we're getting bomb. exe so we get this hyperarousal so one of the ways to fix
hyperarousal so one of the ways to fix that is to expose
that is to expose people two things that induce their
people two things that induce their traumatic hyperarousal response until
traumatic hyperarousal response until they climatize to it so as I slam doors
they climatize to it so as I slam doors over and over and over again eventually
over and over and over again eventually like my brain will realize oh like we're
like my brain will realize oh like we're getting bomb. exe is not appropriate
getting bomb. exe is not appropriate here we don't need to pull this up and
here we don't need to pull this up and so exposure therapy is effective okay
so exposure therapy is effective okay but this is what's
but this is what's cool so whereas only 10% of PTSD
cool so whereas only 10% of PTSD patients with low dissociative criteria
patients with low dissociative criteria symptoms still met uh PTSD criteria
symptoms still met uh PTSD criteria after a trial of exposure therapy
after a trial of exposure therapy 69% of PTSD patients with high levels of
69% of PTSD patients with high levels of dissociation continued to meet PTSD
dissociation continued to meet PTSD criteria at followup so I'll translate
criteria at followup so I'll translate that for you all if y'all didn't catch
that for you all if y'all didn't catch that if I take someone with PTSD who
that if I take someone with PTSD who does not dissociate and I give
does not dissociate and I give them exposure
them exposure therapy only 10% of them still have
therapy only 10% of them still have PTSD so let's presume that 90% of them
PTSD so let's presume that 90% of them get better if I take someone with a high
get better if I take someone with a high amount of dissociation and a diagnosis
amount of dissociation and a diagnosis of PTSD and I just give them exposure
of PTSD and I just give them exposure therapy 69% of them will still have PTS
so we can conclude not entirely fair right CU this is science and you can't
right CU this is science and you can't make conclusions like that that simple
make conclusions like that that simple exposure therapy doesn't work for people
exposure therapy doesn't work for people who have high dissociative symptoms if
who have high dissociative symptoms if you have complex PTSD you're going to be
you have complex PTSD you're going to be further in that direction so let's see
further in that direction so let's see what they
discovered therefore it is crucial before commencing exposure-based
before commencing exposure-based treatments to assess the level of
treatments to assess the level of emotional over modulation and provide
emotional over modulation and provide interventions to reduce such symptomatic
interventions to reduce such symptomatic responses in trauma related stimuli okay
responses in trauma related stimuli okay so basically what this this talks about
so basically what this this talks about stare which is a trauma treatment
stare which is a trauma treatment program but basically what I'm trying to
program but basically what I'm trying to tell y'all is that see in Western
tell y'all is that see in Western medicine we think that there is a
medicine we think that there is a diagnosis and diagnosis has treatment if
diagnosis and diagnosis has treatment if you've got bipolar disorder take this
you've got bipolar disorder take this medication if you've got ADHD take this
medication if you've got ADHD take this medication it'll fix it if you've got
medication it'll fix it if you've got PTSD do exposure therapy it'll fix it
PTSD do exposure therapy it'll fix it and we're not wrong to think
and we're not wrong to think that because we do trials right and like
that because we do trials right and like only 10% of people who had PTSD still
only 10% of people who had PTSD still have symptoms of it after exposure
have symptoms of it after exposure therapy if they're low on
therapy if they're low on dissociation but what I found with
dissociation but what I found with complex PTSD
complex PTSD especially is that the more
especially is that the more complex your presentation of difficulty
complex your presentation of difficulty is we can call it a diagnosis or we can
is we can call it a diagnosis or we can call it an illness the more that we have
call it an illness the more that we have all of these building blocks
all of these building blocks and the key thing is to build one block
and the key thing is to build one block on top of the other and then you can get
on top of the other and then you can get back to 100% most of y'all I've seen it
back to 100% most of y'all I've seen it time and time and time again the reason
time and time and time again the reason that treatments don't work is because we
that treatments don't work is because we don't we're not comprehensive
don't we're not comprehensive enough real trauma treatment see trauma
enough real trauma treatment see trauma doesn't just affect there's not one part
doesn't just affect there's not one part of the brain that's Mis
of the brain that's Mis active your autonomic nervous system
active your autonomic nervous system your brain different parts of your brain
your brain different parts of your brain some parts are hyperactive some parts
some parts are hyperactive some parts are hypo Pro active your sense of self
are hypo Pro active your sense of self your relationships your motivation your
your relationships your motivation your ability to your impulsivity your ability
ability to your impulsivity your ability to control your impulses everything is
to control your impulses everything is affected by trauma this is why trauma is
affected by trauma this is why trauma is the great
the great chameleon so many people I've worked
chameleon so many people I've worked with have a diagnosis of
with have a diagnosis of ADHD but they really have trauma so many
ADHD but they really have trauma so many people I work with have a diagnosis of
people I work with have a diagnosis of bipolar disorder but they have trauma
bipolar disorder but they have trauma so trauma can look like just about
anything okay all right so what we're going to do
okay all right so what we're going to do now so don't give up first of all like
now so don't give up first of all like things can get better and the only
things can get better and the only reason that we don't think they can get
reason that we don't think they can get better so put yourself in the shoes of
better so put yourself in the shoes of someone who did exposure therapy they go
someone who did exposure therapy they go to a psychiatrist the psychiatrist is
to a psychiatrist the psychiatrist is very well trained and very intelligent
very well trained and very intelligent says oh you have a diagnosis of PTSD go
says oh you have a diagnosis of PTSD go to exposure therapy at the end of
to exposure therapy at the end of exposure therapy they're still have PTSD
exposure therapy they're still have PTSD 69% because this onedimensional
69% because this onedimensional treatment is not
treatment is not effective in a certain class of people
effective in a certain class of people it's very effective and this is the way
it's very effective and this is the way that yall need to approach trauma if
that yall need to approach trauma if you're struggling with
you're struggling with it it's not just one thing it is not
it it's not just one thing it is not fixing a problem it is rebuilding
fixing a problem it is rebuilding yourself from the ground up and you say
yourself from the ground up and you say Dr K that sounds like too much work it's
Dr K that sounds like too much work it's not see what the only reason it feels
not see what the only reason it feels like too much work is if you've done a
like too much work is if you've done a lot of work and it has yielded no
lot of work and it has yielded no results then it feels like effort is
results then it feels like effort is useless anything feels like too much
useless anything feels like too much work if you're doing it wrong is it a
work if you're doing it wrong is it a lot of work absolutely is it hard to do
lot of work absolutely is it hard to do absolutely but my overwhelming
absolutely but my overwhelming experience as a clinician is that people
experience as a clinician is that people are into it once you start making
are into it once you start making progress once you're able to go to your
progress once you're able to go to your child's birthday party and be like wow
child's birthday party and be like wow I'm so glad they had such a good time
I'm so glad they had such a good time and I feel like a good parent it's like
and I feel like a good parent it's like you guys want that vein like
you guys want that vein like that's like heroin in your veins right
that's like heroin in your veins right there you begin to live the life the way
there you begin to live the life the way that your evolution is designed you
for this is the way we are supposed to live and it's like drinking water after
live and it's like drinking water after running five miles it just feels so good
running five miles it just feels so good it's just water people say oh my God I
it's just water people say oh my God I don't like the taste of water or they
don't like the taste of water or they drink soda all day
drink soda all day and then they but this is the key thing
and then they but this is the key thing to understand water is whether water
to understand water is whether water tastes good to you or not depends on
tastes good to you or not depends on what your body is
what your body is doing whether treatment is hard or easy
doing whether treatment is hard or easy depends on what you're doing what you're
depends on what you're doing what you're getting out of
getting out of it this is the biggest mistake that we
it this is the biggest mistake that we make so don't give up hope absolutely go
make so don't give up hope absolutely go see someone if this stuff resonates with
see someone if this stuff resonates with you if you guys want to better
you if you guys want to better understand these principles check out
understand these principles check out the guide we're going to watch a video
the guide we're going to watch a video in a second right this is not a place
in a second right this is not a place where I would recommend coaching this is
where I would recommend coaching this is not where coaching is that helpful I
not where coaching is that helpful I mean it can be for some of these things
mean it can be for some of these things like paralysis of initiation and
like paralysis of initiation and motivation and stuff like that but like
motivation and stuff like that but like this is where you all should see a
this is where you all should see a therapist right a trauma informed
therapist right a trauma informed specialist is ideal because they will
specialist is ideal because they will understand more of these
um okay so we're g to get to questions in a
second I love Leaf flow right so do I hey so do I all right
hey so do I all right um so like y'all don't seriously don't
um so like y'all don't seriously don't give up hope like it is crazy how much
give up hope like it is crazy how much we know about trauma we've gotten so
we know about trauma we've gotten so much better at this the last thing that
much better at this the last thing that I want to say is this Disturbed uh sense
I want to say is this Disturbed uh sense of
self-organization outside of trauma see if you have DSO without the symptoms of
if you have DSO without the symptoms of PTSD you can't get a diagnosis of cptsd
PTSD you can't get a diagnosis of cptsd cptsd is hyperarousal hyper vigilance
cptsd is hyperarousal hyper vigilance all the regular trauma Stuff Plus the
all the regular trauma Stuff Plus the Disturbed sense of of self-organization
Disturbed sense of of self-organization disturbance of self organization so what
disturbance of self organization so what I'm noticing in the world today is that
I'm noticing in the world today is that this Disturbed self-organization appears
this Disturbed self-organization appears to be independent of traumatic
to be independent of traumatic events I'm seeing a a society that is
events I'm seeing a a society that is increasingly emotionally
increasingly emotionally disregulated increasingly unable to tap
disregulated increasingly unable to tap into Joy
into Joy increasingly easy to trigger a seizure
increasingly easy to trigger a seizure of negative
of negative emotion increasingly confused about
emotion increasingly confused about their identity in
their identity in life and increasingly increased
life and increasingly increased difficulty in
difficulty in relationships so now the question that
relationships so now the question that I've really wondered is that if you see
I've really wondered is that if you see this DSO
this DSO picture can you do these trauma based
picture can you do these trauma based interventions you don't need exposure
interventions you don't need exposure therapy but can we do all of this other
stuff calm down your nervous system increase your emotional awareness
system increase your emotional awareness articulate
emotions improve your sense of identity reconnect with your positive self deal
reconnect with your positive self deal with negative emotional
with negative emotional disregulation deal with that amigdalar
disregulation deal with that amigdalar pseudo
seizur if we fix all of these things can we improve those DSO symptoms even if
we improve those DSO symptoms even if you don't have cptsd and that's really
you don't have cptsd and that's really what I
what I believe right that's the running
believe right that's the running hypothesis cuz I got I got it's too it's
hypothesis cuz I got I got it's too it's too similar the clinical picture
too similar the clinical picture are so the overlap is so strong I I
are so the overlap is so strong I I can't believe that the same regions of
can't believe that the same regions of the brain are not active and if the same
the brain are not active and if the same regions of the brain are active we can
regions of the brain are active we can do the same stuff and if it works for
do the same stuff and if it works for someone who has such a severe diagnosis
someone who has such a severe diagnosis of cptsd it should work for you and what
of cptsd it should work for you and what are we talking about here we're talking
are we talking about here we're talking about yoga we're talking about
about yoga we're talking about meditation we're talking about getting
meditation we're talking about getting in touch with your emotions we're
in touch with your emotions we're talking about articulating your emotions
talking about articulating your emotions we're talking about developing a sense
we're talking about developing a sense of self we're talking about forming
of self we're talking about forming narrative about your
life and that's what we see in this community because we've been working on
community because we've been working on this crap for yall this is why I'm so
this crap for yall this is why I'm so this is why I care so much about the
this is why I care so much about the trauma guide because the trauma guide is
trauma guide because the trauma guide is the guide for our
the guide for our community and hopefully it makes sense
community and hopefully it makes sense to youall now like where I'm coming from
to youall now like where I'm coming from you don't need cptsd the right answer
you don't need cptsd the right answer for cptsd is medical
for cptsd is medical treatment but for all of us who have
treatment but for all of us who have features of this
features of this who don't have a diagnosis we can still
who don't have a diagnosis we can still understand the basic neuroscience and
understand the basic neuroscience and address those
things right so the guide is not a substitute for clinical treatment it is
substitute for clinical treatment it is everything
else and that's what we're going to show you all today so if you
you all today so if you struggle
struggle with
initiation we're going to help y'all okay one
y'all okay one second all right so I can't watch this
second all right so I can't watch this I'm going to like literally step out of
I'm going to like literally step out of the room because I
the room because I cannot I cannot handle myself chat this
cannot I cannot handle myself chat this is just too much so I'm going to turn
is just too much so I'm going to turn this
this on um I'm going to turn this
on so we're going to watch an early cut and then we're going to do Q&A when I
and then we're going to do Q&A when I get back
okay next up we're going to talk about the paralysis of initiation and a lot of
the paralysis of initiation and a lot of people that I've worked with have
people that I've worked with have struggled with this this almost seems to
struggled with this this almost seems to be a societal phenomenon where people
be a societal phenomenon where people have trouble getting started we know
have trouble getting started we know theoretically that there are other
theoretically that there are other people out there who have goals and they
people out there who have goals and they can wake up and they can sort of just do
can wake up and they can sort of just do it and then they also tell us right like
it and then they also tell us right like if you want to go to the gym what you
if you want to go to the gym what you need to do is just do it you just got to
need to do is just do it you just got to put yourself out there and just get
put yourself out there and just get started CU getting started is the hard
started CU getting started is the hard part but there's a large subset of
part but there's a large subset of people who struggle with just getting
people who struggle with just getting started and as I explored this concept
started and as I explored this concept to try to help the patients that I was
to try to help the patients that I was working with I stumbled into the trauma
working with I stumbled into the trauma literature the original paper on complex
literature the original paper on complex PTSD uses this term paralysis of
PTSD uses this term paralysis of initiation now complex PTSD is a little
initiation now complex PTSD is a little bit different from traditional PTSD and
bit different from traditional PTSD and we're going to dive into that for just a
we're going to dive into that for just a second so in post-traumatic stress
second so in post-traumatic stress disorder you usually have one or a short
disorder you usually have one or a short term series of traumatic events that
term series of traumatic events that then traumatizes us and then we develop
then traumatizes us and then we develop a disorder a psychiatric problem as a
a disorder a psychiatric problem as a result of the intensity of that singular
result of the intensity of that singular trauma on the other hand there's a group
trauma on the other hand there's a group of researchers who discovered something
of researchers who discovered something called complex PTSD which is when the
called complex PTSD which is when the traumatic influence is persistent over
traumatic influence is persistent over time so it's not a one-time thing it's
time so it's not a one-time thing it's an environment that you grow up in or
an environment that you grow up in or once again going back to the prisoners
once again going back to the prisoners of War these are prisoners who are in
of War these are prisoners who are in these camps for years and years and
these camps for years and years and years and what these researchers
years and what these researchers discovered is that when a trauma is
discovered is that when a trauma is repeated that it messes up our ability
repeated that it messes up our ability to start our own actions it seems to
to start our own actions it seems to tamper with our very autonomy and what
tamper with our very autonomy and what they discovered in the prisoners was
they discovered in the prisoners was that these people became incredibly
that these people became incredibly listless because if you kind of think
listless because if you kind of think about it there's nothing there's no
about it there's nothing there's no point in getting anything started in a
point in getting anything started in a prison camp there's nowhere to go
prison camp there's nowhere to go there's there are no goals to accomplish
there's there are no goals to accomplish it's all about survival and what these
it's all about survival and what these researchers discovered is when these
researchers discovered is when these people got released from the prison camp
people got released from the prison camp they still struggled to initiate things
they still struggled to initiate things in their own lives so we're going to
in their own lives so we're going to dive into that Concept in more detail
dive into that Concept in more detail because we've learned a lot about it
because we've learned a lot about it since then the first cause of paralysis
since then the first cause of paralysis of initiation is a loss of autonomy and
of initiation is a loss of autonomy and a lack of reinforcement so let's start
a lack of reinforcement so let's start with kind of a traditional household
with kind of a traditional household let's say a healthy household so in this
let's say a healthy household so in this household you have children that kind of
household you have children that kind of grow up and they want to do things they
grow up and they want to do things they have desires so they go to their parents
have desires so they go to their parents and they say hey I want to go to the zoo
and they say hey I want to go to the zoo today and so the parents says okay fine
today and so the parents says okay fine like I'll take you to the zoo If the
like I'll take you to the zoo If the child has an Impulse to start something
child has an Impulse to start something or do something that impulse gets
or do something that impulse gets reinforced another good example of this
reinforced another good example of this is let's say I'm like painting a picture
is let's say I'm like painting a picture I made something at school and I come
I made something at school and I come home and I show my parents I say hey
home and I show my parents I say hey look at this picture I painted of the
look at this picture I painted of the family and my parents are very very
family and my parents are very very impressed and surprised with it and what
impressed and surprised with it and what they do is they put it up on my fridge
they do is they put it up on my fridge or they put up put it up on my wall at
or they put up put it up on my wall at some point though if you look at a
some point though if you look at a healthy normal household as a child
healthy normal household as a child starts to initiate things that
starts to initiate things that initiation is supported and
initiation is supported and reinforced if we look at something like
reinforced if we look at something like a controlling household or an abusive
a controlling household or an abusive household the picture is very different
household the picture is very different because in a controlling household what
because in a controlling household what I want to do is completely irrelevant it
I want to do is completely irrelevant it is what my parents want me to do that
is what my parents want me to do that becomes important so when I enter the
becomes important so when I enter the fifth grade and I have a choice between
fifth grade and I have a choice between learning this instrument or that
learning this instrument or that instrument which instrument I want to
instrument which instrument I want to learn is not as important as which
learn is not as important as which instrument my parents want me to learn
instrument my parents want me to learn and so what we tend to see is that the
and so what we tend to see is that the the behavioral impulses anytime I try to
the behavioral impulses anytime I try to start and do something those aren't
start and do something those aren't necessarily reinforced and instead of
necessarily reinforced and instead of autonomy I'm sort of taught compliance
autonomy I'm sort of taught compliance the same is true but in a slightly
the same is true but in a slightly different way when it comes to
different way when it comes to neglectful households so in the same
neglectful households so in the same situation if I come home with a a
situation if I come home with a a picture that I painted of my family and
picture that I painted of my family and my parents are absent or there's a
my parents are absent or there's a babysitter there or for whatever 100
babysitter there or for whatever 100 reasons that could possibly be going on
reasons that could possibly be going on something about my desires don't get
something about my desires don't get reinforced in a neglectful household
reinforced in a neglectful household because as a child growing up who is it
because as a child growing up who is it that refor reinforces and supports your
that refor reinforces and supports your desires it's your parents and so even in
desires it's your parents and so even in the case of absent parents we see a
the case of absent parents we see a Common Thread of when I want to do
Common Thread of when I want to do something the world around me doesn't
something the world around me doesn't necessarily help me do it and in the
necessarily help me do it and in the worst case scenarios what we actually
worst case scenarios what we actually see is that if I develop some sense of
see is that if I develop some sense of autonomy I actually get punished for it
autonomy I actually get punished for it if I start to demonstrate initiative
if I start to demonstrate initiative which is one of the other things that we
which is one of the other things that we sort of see in in the trauma literature
sort of see in in the trauma literature is that when we take initiative some
is that when we take initiative some people will get punished for it so I
people will get punished for it so I decided that I wanted to plan a birthday
decided that I wanted to plan a birthday party this weekend with my friends and I
party this weekend with my friends and I tell my parents about it on Thursday but
tell my parents about it on Thursday but then they get really angry with me for
then they get really angry with me for not discussing it with them not getting
not discussing it with them not getting their permission they're incredibly
their permission they're incredibly controlling so all of my initiative kind
controlling so all of my initiative kind of goes down the drain it's all about
of goes down the drain it's all about what other people want so this is the
what other people want so this is the first cause of the paralysis of
first cause of the paralysis of initiation is if we look at the normal
initiation is if we look at the normal child development or normal human
child development or normal human development at some point our desires
development at some point our desires get reinforced our autonomy gets
get reinforced our autonomy gets rewarded but if you grew up in an
rewarded but if you grew up in an environment where your autonomy was not
environment where your autonomy was not rewarded where your desires were not
rewarded where your desires were not reinforced that is a lesson that your
reinforced that is a lesson that your brain will carry forward the second
brain will carry forward the second aspect of paralysis of initiation has to
aspect of paralysis of initiation has to do with the loss of the future
do with the loss of the future Dimension I know it sounds kind of weird
Dimension I know it sounds kind of weird and abstract but it's actually pretty
and abstract but it's actually pretty simple so once again as a child let's
simple so once again as a child let's look at the normal situation so at some
look at the normal situation so at some point I start thinking about the future
point I start thinking about the future right if I have present and loving
right if I have present and loving parents they'll ask me oh what do you
parents they'll ask me oh what do you want for Christmas this year let's write
want for Christmas this year let's write Santa letter we are going to do
Santa letter we are going to do something today that be will be rewarded
something today that be will be rewarded not just tomorrow but a week from now
not just tomorrow but a week from now two weeks from now three weeks from now
two weeks from now three weeks from now similarly supportive parents will take a
similarly supportive parents will take a look at your schedule for the week and
look at your schedule for the week and sort of even if you're in the second
sort of even if you're in the second grade or third GR they will sort of
grade or third GR they will sort of remind you or help you understand that
remind you or help you understand that okay this week you have these two
okay this week you have these two assignments to complete so we need to
assignments to complete so we need to start thinking about tomorrow or even
start thinking about tomorrow or even the end of the week today so with
the end of the week today so with healthy parenting it's kind of bizarre
healthy parenting it's kind of bizarre but we have this part of our brain that
but we have this part of our brain that looks into the future and plans and
looks into the future and plans and executes tasks this is the frontal lobe
executes tasks this is the frontal lobe of our brain that kind of plans things
of our brain that kind of plans things out and makes sure they get done in a
out and makes sure they get done in a normal household this is a part of our
normal household this is a part of our brain that gets supported by our parents
brain that gets supported by our parents but once again once we move to a
but once again once we move to a controlling or a neglectful household
controlling or a neglectful household that all goes out the window so the
that all goes out the window so the first thing is planning for my future
first thing is planning for my future when I have controlling parents is a
when I have controlling parents is a waste of time because my parents have
waste of time because my parents have decided what my future will be in the
decided what my future will be in the worst case scenarios like so for example
worst case scenarios like so for example in my culture there are some traditional
in my culture there are some traditional Indian parents that will plan everything
Indian parents that will plan everything for their kids you're going to be a
for their kids you're going to be a doctor you're going to be a lawyer I had
doctor you're going to be a lawyer I had that conversation with my own dad when I
that conversation with my own dad when I was 9 years old he said we took me and
was 9 years old he said we took me and my brother aside I was nine my brother
my brother aside I was nine my brother was 12 and he said said one of y'all is
was 12 and he said said one of y'all is going to be a doctor and one of y'all is
going to be a doctor and one of y'all is going to be a lawyer and then I ended up
going to be a lawyer and then I ended up applying to med school and people asked
applying to med school and people asked me like why do you want to be a doctor
me like why do you want to be a doctor and I said well this is the conversation
and I said well this is the conversation my dad had with me and my brother was
my dad had with me and my brother was older so he got to choose first and he
older so he got to choose first and he went to law school so here I am and we
went to law school so here I am and we all had a good laugh about it but I
all had a good laugh about it but I never really answered the question the
never really answered the question the point though is that with controlling
point though is that with controlling parents who sort of determine your
parents who sort of determine your future for you they tell you what you
future for you they tell you what you need to accomplish they tell you when
need to accomplish they tell you when you need to accomplish it you're going
you need to accomplish it you're going to learn the cello you're going to learn
to learn the cello you're going to learn the vi you're going to do a sport you're
the vi you're going to do a sport you're going to do this you're going to do that
going to do this you're going to do that or you're going to carry on in your
or you're going to carry on in your Father's Footsteps and you're going to
Father's Footsteps and you're going to play football whatever the situation is
play football whatever the situation is your sense of the future gets negatively
your sense of the future gets negatively impacted you don't get to think about
impacted you don't get to think about the future and plan for the future on
the future and plan for the future on your own and the same is true in
your own and the same is true in neglectful households although once
neglectful households although once again slightly differently because in
again slightly differently because in this case if you're a seven-year-old kid
this case if you're a seven-year-old kid and your parents are absent there's no
and your parents are absent there's no point in planning for a slumber party in
point in planning for a slumber party in the future and remember that as kids we
the future and remember that as kids we don't really know how to plan for the
don't really know how to plan for the future ourselves we actually need adults
future ourselves we actually need adults to teach us how to really use our
to teach us how to really use our frontal loes they sort of train us to do
frontal loes they sort of train us to do all of these things in addition to like
all of these things in addition to like walking and talking and doing laundry
walking and talking and doing laundry and all of these tasks that parents
and all of these tasks that parents teach us are also affected in a
teach us are also affected in a neglectful household so this is the
neglectful household so this is the second thing that happens is that when
second thing that happens is that when we sort of think about the future
we sort of think about the future dimension in a healthy household
dimension in a healthy household thinking about the future Dimension is
thinking about the future Dimension is rewarded if if I make a Christmas list
rewarded if if I make a Christmas list for Santa I actually get those presents
for Santa I actually get those presents if I plan for a slumber party this
if I plan for a slumber party this weekend the slumber party actually
weekend the slumber party actually happens but in the case of controlling
happens but in the case of controlling abusive or neglectful households this
abusive or neglectful households this planning for the future does not get
planning for the future does not get reinforced sometimes it just becomes
reinforced sometimes it just becomes neglected so I don't get rewarded for
neglected so I don't get rewarded for thinking about the future but in the
thinking about the future but in the harshest cases I actually get punished
harshest cases I actually get punished so since I have all these plans of I
so since I have all these plans of I want this for Christmas or I want my
want this for Christmas or I want my friends to come over this weekend but on
friends to come over this weekend but on when Friday rolls around my parent is
when Friday rolls around my parent is has been drinking and they don't feel
has been drinking and they don't feel like having kids in the house so they
like having kids in the house so they tell me to call all my friends and
tell me to call all my friends and cancel at the last minute and then I'm
cancel at the last minute and then I'm left with disappointing all of my
left with disappointing all of my friends and so in the most drastic cases
friends and so in the most drastic cases we actually get punished for thinking
we actually get punished for thinking about the future and this is the problem
about the future and this is the problem in each of these scenarios is that over
in each of these scenarios is that over time in in the simplest case these parts
time in in the simplest case these parts of our brain are not reinforced we don't
of our brain are not reinforced we don't have behavioral reinforcement of Desire
have behavioral reinforcement of Desire we don't have positive reinforcement for
we don't have positive reinforcement for planning of the future and in the worst
planning of the future and in the worst cases we actually get punished for doing
cases we actually get punished for doing these things because if you kind of
these things because if you kind of think about it let's say I have a desire
think about it let's say I have a desire and then since my parents are neglectful
and then since my parents are neglectful I make this Christmas list but then no
I make this Christmas list but then no presents show up on Christmas Day what
presents show up on Christmas Day what is the lesson I learn as a child over
is the lesson I learn as a child over time the lesson I'll learn is it's
time the lesson I'll learn is it's better not to have desires in the first
better not to have desires in the first place because then I won't be
place because then I won't be disappointed so it's it's better to just
disappointed so it's it's better to just not want anything at all it's better to
not want anything at all it's better to not try to do anything it's better to
not try to do anything it's better to put forth no effort whatsoever because
put forth no effort whatsoever because at the end of the day I'm living my life
at the end of the day I'm living my life reactively I have no sense of autonomy
reactively I have no sense of autonomy or control and if I try to exert control
or control and if I try to exert control if I am stupid enough to want things
if I am stupid enough to want things then that will actually hurt and lead to
then that will actually hurt and lead to disappointment and then you learn a very
disappointment and then you learn a very dangerous lesson which is wanting things
dangerous lesson which is wanting things and thinking about the future is painful
and thinking about the future is painful and harmful and once you learn this
and harmful and once you learn this lesson this leads to the paralysis of
lesson this leads to the paralysis of initi ation later in life now there's
initi ation later in life now there's another challenge that we kind of run
another challenge that we kind of run into that keeps people who grow up in
into that keeps people who grow up in these kinds of environments from really
these kinds of environments from really initiating things and that is a Reliance
initiating things and that is a Reliance on perfectionism so there's a group of
on perfectionism so there's a group of people that I've worked with and this
people that I've worked with and this group by the way is becoming
group by the way is becoming increasingly common because once again a
increasingly common because once again a lot of people grow up in scenarios like
lot of people grow up in scenarios like this where they can't get started until
this where they can't get started until it's perfect so I'm not going to apply
it's perfect so I'm not going to apply to college unless I know I can get into
to college unless I know I can get into Harvard I'm not going to take this
Harvard I'm not going to take this course unless I know I can get an A I'm
course unless I know I can get an A I'm not going to even learn any skill until
not going to even learn any skill until I practice ahead of time even before I
I practice ahead of time even before I join the course so if I'm learning how
join the course so if I'm learning how to dance I'm going to spend three months
to dance I'm going to spend three months practicing at home so I don't embarrass
practicing at home so I don't embarrass myself when I join the class that is
myself when I join the class that is even for novices so there are a lot of
even for novices so there are a lot of people out there that are very hesitant
people out there that are very hesitant to get started until things are perfect
to get started until things are perfect and let's explore a little bit about why
and let's explore a little bit about why this happens so this too can be tracked
this happens so this too can be tracked back to trauma so if we sort of think
back to trauma so if we sort of think about controlling abusive or neglectful
about controlling abusive or neglectful households these households create
households these households create situations that are very stressful and
situations that are very stressful and dangerous for the child so in order to
dangerous for the child so in order to understand why some people become very
understand why some people become very perfectionistic and why some people can
perfectionistic and why some people can afford to take risks we have to
afford to take risks we have to understand a very important Divergence
understand a very important Divergence that happens very early in life so let's
that happens very early in life so let's start with the case of a healthy
start with the case of a healthy household so if you sort of think about
household so if you sort of think about it the world is objectively a dangerous
it the world is objectively a dangerous place for kids so if I'm like let's say
place for kids so if I'm like let's say an 18-month-old kid one-year-old kid
an 18-month-old kid one-year-old kid 2-year-old kid the world is a dangerous
2-year-old kid the world is a dangerous place I I can barely walk I tend to
place I I can barely walk I tend to stumble a lot things like stairs can be
stumble a lot things like stairs can be incredibly dangerous but it's not just
incredibly dangerous but it's not just that it's also things like when I get
that it's also things like when I get served food does the food burn me or not
served food does the food burn me or not and this is where parents come in
and this is where parents come in because parents who are very attentive
because parents who are very attentive will protect the child from the
will protect the child from the dangerous world and this is like kind of
dangerous world and this is like kind of what we know if you're a parent you'll
what we know if you're a parent you'll understand this that your children will
understand this that your children will try all kinds of things to hurt
try all kinds of things to hurt themselves because they don't really
themselves because they don't really know that the world is a dangerous place
know that the world is a dangerous place and the better you take care of them the
and the better you take care of them the more Reckless they become because there
more Reckless they become because there are never negative consequences for
are never negative consequences for things a parent who's always caught when
things a parent who's always caught when they jump off the bed will not learn the
they jump off the bed will not learn the danger of gravity so these children
danger of gravity so these children become very secure in the world around
become very secure in the world around them because it's a safe place because
them because it's a safe place because mom or dad is there to protect me from
mom or dad is there to protect me from danger so these children become more
danger so these children become more confident they're able to embrace more
confident they're able to embrace more risks they can try new things and they
risks they can try new things and they also enjoy exploring the world they're
also enjoy exploring the world they're very very confident that someone is out
very very confident that someone is out there protecting them they're not really
there protecting them they're not really aware that there's a person out there
aware that there's a person out there protecting them they just know that as
protecting them they just know that as they stumble around someone's always
they stumble around someone's always catching them and they don't get hurt on
catching them and they don't get hurt on the flip side let's look at something
the flip side let's look at something like a neglectful household so in this
like a neglectful household so in this case now the world becomes a dangerous
case now the world becomes a dangerous place because there isn't a parent
place because there isn't a parent paying attention if I slip and fall no
paying attention if I slip and fall no is even watching as I start climbing up
is even watching as I start climbing up the stairs and on my seventh stair since
the stairs and on my seventh stair since I'm like a 13-month-old kid I Stumble
I'm like a 13-month-old kid I Stumble and fall and then I roll down the stairs
and fall and then I roll down the stairs and start crying in the worst case
and start crying in the worst case scenarios even when I start crying
scenarios even when I start crying either the parent doesn't pay attention
either the parent doesn't pay attention doesn't care or even will get mad at me
doesn't care or even will get mad at me for crying and will tell me to be quiet
for crying and will tell me to be quiet so if we see households that are
so if we see households that are incredibly controlling which also can be
incredibly controlling which also can be sort of scary for a child because in a
sort of scary for a child because in a controlling household with very
controlling household with very demanding parents we want our children
demanding parents we want our children to be perfect right don't spill don't
to be perfect right don't spill don't play with this you made a mess this
play with this you made a mess this happened this happened this happened so
happened this happened this happened so very controlling parents will be very
very controlling parents will be very angry with their children for not being
angry with their children for not being perfect abusive households also lead to
perfect abusive households also lead to a Reliance on perfectionism because
a Reliance on perfectionism because usually what the child learns when it
usually what the child learns when it comes to abuse is there is a magical
comes to abuse is there is a magical formula to avoid the abuse If the child
formula to avoid the abuse If the child can be kind enough if the child can be
can be kind enough if the child can be sweet enough if the child can be cute
sweet enough if the child can be cute enough or pretty enough Demir enough
enough or pretty enough Demir enough invisible enough sometimes these
invisible enough sometimes these children can sort of figure out almost
children can sort of figure out almost from a survival mechanism that if I have
from a survival mechanism that if I have an abusive parent there are some days
an abusive parent there are some days that the parent is not abusive and so
that the parent is not abusive and so then the child naturally tries to figure
then the child naturally tries to figure out what is the difference between the
out what is the difference between the abusive day and the non-abusive day and
abusive day and the non-abusive day and this is when they start to develop this
this is when they start to develop this idea that if I'm a perfect child then I
idea that if I'm a perfect child then I will be safe and so perfectionism and
will be safe and so perfectionism and safety go hand in hand so if you try to
safety go hand in hand so if you try to do something in the outside world and
do something in the outside world and you not perfect remember that this stuff
you not perfect remember that this stuff gets baked in to your upbringing in the
gets baked in to your upbringing in the same way that you were understanding how
same way that you were understanding how strong gravity is or what the sun feels
strong gravity is or what the sun feels like or how many fingers you have this
like or how many fingers you have this stuff gets really baked in and
stuff gets really baked in and perfectionism and safety become one and
perfectionism and safety become one and the same so this is another reason why
the same so this is another reason why people struggle with initiating tasks
people struggle with initiating tasks they can be very very afraid of doing
they can be very very afraid of doing something wrong they can't afford to
something wrong they can't afford to make mistakes and they need to be
make mistakes and they need to be perfect before they get started and why
perfect before they get started and why is this it's because the world that they
is this it's because the world that they see does not allow them to make mistakes
see does not allow them to make mistakes that if they make some kind of slip up
that if they make some kind of slip up and if they screw up in some kind of way
and if they screw up in some kind of way the world is a fundamentally dangerous
the world is a fundamentally dangerous scary and punishing place and if we are
scary and punishing place and if we are wired in any one of these three ways if
wired in any one of these three ways if our desires and our autonomy has not
our desires and our autonomy has not been reinforced if our capacity to plan
been reinforced if our capacity to plan for the future has actually been
for the future has actually been squashed or neglected or we grew up in
squashed or neglected or we grew up in an environment Enon where we had to be
an environment Enon where we had to be perfect before we get started all three
perfect before we get started all three of these can result in the paralysis of
initiation all righty
righty so all right hold on a
second um yeah so that's that's a
um yeah so that's that's a uh that's one of the videos from the
uh that's one of the videos from the trauma guide and like I said like we
trauma guide and like I said like we we've been working on this for a while
we've been working on this for a while and and when I was making the trauma
and and when I was making the trauma guide
guide y'all can hear me right am I muted okay
y'all can hear me right am I muted okay no y'all can hear me
no y'all can hear me um you know I I was thinking about like
um you know I I was thinking about like us and like what are the things that we
us and like what are the things that we struggle with and it's not and there's
struggle with and it's not and there's Absolut like clinically significant
Absolut like clinically significant stuff and I was also thinking about like
stuff and I was also thinking about like you know if I could take all of my
you know if I could take all of my patients who have diagnoses of some kind
patients who have diagnoses of some kind of trauma or a history of
of trauma or a history of trauma and I could like give them a
trauma and I could like give them a workshop
workshop for not stuff that we do in the office
for not stuff that we do in the office like nothing about I mean there's stuff
like nothing about I mean there's stuff about medication and treatment and stuff
about medication and treatment and stuff like that too but like not that stuff
like that too but like not that stuff but like all the other dimensions of
but like all the other dimensions of their life like how do you find a
their life like how do you find a relationship when you have a history of
relationship when you have a history of trauma um how do you reconnect with
trauma um how do you reconnect with yourself and these are the kinds of
yourself and these are the kinds of things that like you know are not
things that like you know are not specific to a person this is the common
specific to a person this is the common stuff that I would teach to my
stuff that I would teach to my patients um which isn't technically like
patients um which isn't technically like a part of their diagn I mean it's part
a part of their diagn I mean it's part of their diagnosis I guess but it's it's
of their diagnosis I guess but it's it's like I don't know how to describe it
like I don't know how to describe it it's
it's not you know it's not about this
not you know it's not about this relationship that this person has it's
relationship that this person has it's about the
about the principle of why is it hard for this
principle of why is it hard for this group of people to form
group of people to form relationships um
okay yeah so let's do some Q&A so we've got time for we wanted to save some time
got time for we wanted to save some time for Q&A so we've got I know we've like
for Q&A so we've got I know we've like run long and we're at like 2:30 and we
run long and we're at like 2:30 and we started late but let's do Q&A for about
started late but let's do Q&A for about 15 minutes uh can you answer super chat
15 minutes uh can you answer super chat questions I I I don't know I don't know
questions I I I don't know I don't know how to do that
um okay so there's one question here uh since trauma is the great
here uh since trauma is the great chameleon what is your opinion on when
chameleon what is your opinion on when you disagree with your therapist about
you disagree with your therapist about your presentation belief in oneself is
your presentation belief in oneself is important for Recovery yet they are a
important for Recovery yet they are a professional um
professional um okay I'm going to ask if we have mods if
okay I'm going to ask if we have mods if y'all saw good questions if anyone was
y'all saw good questions if anyone was keeping trap can y'all let me know
keeping trap can y'all let me know via uh you know some method of
via uh you know some method of communication just let me
communication just let me know
um okay so what if you disagree with your therapist this is a great
your therapist this is a great question so how do you go
question so how do you go about how do you if your therapist
about how do you if your therapist disagrees or if you disagree with your
disagrees or if you disagree with your therapist about your diagnosis or the
therapist about your diagnosis or the formulation like what do you do about
formulation like what do you do about that right they're the one with the
that right they're the one with the degree but you're the one who's living
degree but you're the one who's living the
the life so this is where I'd
life so this is where I'd say disagreement in therapy is like not
say disagreement in therapy is like not something to be avoided the whole point
something to be avoided the whole point of therapy is that we don't know what
of therapy is that we don't know what the right answer is when we get started
the right answer is when we get started and finding the right answer is a series
and finding the right answer is a series of like re-calibrating after
of like re-calibrating after overshooting or moving in the wrong
overshooting or moving in the wrong direction like that's what therapy is so
direction like that's what therapy is so your therapist doesn't magically know
your therapist doesn't magically know what's going on with you we have the
what's going on with you we have the first layer of information and then we
first layer of information and then we make some conclusions and then we have
make some conclusions and then we have the second layer of information we we
the second layer of information we we Whittle away some of the conclusions and
Whittle away some of the conclusions and then over time we want to kind of like
then over time we want to kind of like pingpong our way like to what the right
pingpong our way like to what the right answer is that's been my experience as a
answer is that's been my experience as a psychiatrist
psychiatrist so if you disagree with your therapist I
so if you disagree with your therapist I think first of all that's totally fine
think first of all that's totally fine secondly I would ask I would ask the
secondly I would ask I would ask the therapists to explain why they believe
therapists to explain why they believe what they believe so walk me through
what they believe so walk me through your
your reasoning and then what you want to
reasoning and then what you want to offer
offer is your own reasoning so let me
is your own reasoning so let me understand why you have your opinion let
understand why you have your opinion let me now explain to you why I think that's
me now explain to you why I think that's good or not good or what my perspective
good or not good or what my perspective is and chances are neither of you is
is and chances are neither of you is going to be 100% right and then the
going to be 100% right and then the question is what can your therapist take
question is what can your therapist take away from your explanation that moves
away from your explanation that moves you closer to the right answer and what
you closer to the right answer and what can you take away from your therapist's
can you take away from your therapist's answer that moves you closer to the
answer that moves you closer to the right
right answer now a lot of therapists myself
answer now a lot of therapists myself included find
included find that having a patient understand what's
that having a patient understand what's truly going on is not going to happen
truly going on is not going to happen fast so I often times find that when I
fast so I often times find that when I explain things to patients or when I
explain things to patients or when I offer a formulation at the very
offer a formulation at the very beginning they will sometimes very
beginning they will sometimes very strongly disagree with something that
strongly disagree with something that I'm very confident in and usually over
I'm very confident in and usually over time we get there right because you have
time we get there right because you have to remember that as a
to remember that as a patient you have more information about
patient you have more information about your life but you're not as
your life but you're not as objective so that's where it's like and
objective so that's where it's like and you know medical doctors therapists
you know medical doctors therapists psychiatrists we get diagnoses like
psychiatrists we get diagnoses like wrong all the
wrong all the time so I you know I there's all kinds
time so I you know I there's all kinds of stuff that we get wrong so I I I
of stuff that we get wrong so I I I think it's more about the process than
think it's more about the process than it is about like being right or wrong so
it is about like being right or wrong so there's try to really understand where
there's try to really understand where they're coming from and I I try to take
they're coming from and I I try to take that to heart right really try to be
that to heart right really try to be open-minded and try to see if you can
open-minded and try to see if you can understand okay how even though I
understand okay how even though I instinctively react to this being
instinctively react to this being incorrect
there's a possibility that if I change my thinking in some ways this could be
my thinking in some ways this could be correct so let me try to do that right
correct so let me try to do that right so the last thing I'd kind of say is
so the last thing I'd kind of say is Steelman instead of straw man their
Steelman instead of straw man their argument I mean it shouldn't be an
argument I mean it shouldn't be an argument but do your best to alter your
argument but do your best to alter your assumptions to see if you can understand
assumptions to see if you can understand where they're coming
where they're coming from good question
from good question okay um now let's go to
there we go okay questions
go okay questions um trauma guide I think comes out at the
um trauma guide I think comes out at the end of the
uh okay a cptsd and ADHD there seems to be a lot of overlap how do you tell the
be a lot of overlap how do you tell the difference between the two if you have
difference between the two if you have both I think you mentioned in another
both I think you mentioned in another video something about how all kids with
video something about how all kids with ADHD end up with some trauma if that's
ADHD end up with some trauma if that's true how do we know comes from ADHD
true how do we know comes from ADHD versus what comes from cptsd it's a
versus what comes from cptsd it's a great
great question so if you've got ADHD and
question so if you've got ADHD and Trauma how do you know what's
Trauma how do you know what's what so there are a couple of different
what so there are a couple of different things to keep in mind the first thing
things to keep in mind the first thing that we have to remember is that
that we have to remember is that psychiatric diagnoses are not real
psychiatric diagnoses are not real things they are abstractions or human
things they are abstractions or human Concepts to try to understand reality
Concepts to try to understand reality so like when I say someone has major
so like when I say someone has major depressive disorder there's absolutely
depressive disorder there's absolutely some kind of biological mechanism but
some kind of biological mechanism but human beings made up the idea of major
human beings made up the idea of major depressive disorder what psychiatric
depressive disorder what psychiatric diagnosis really is is a bunch of human
diagnosis really is is a bunch of human beings observe real things in other
beings observe real things in other human beings and then we try to come up
human beings and then we try to come up with a language that
with a language that unifies what we see in individuals and
unifies what we see in individuals and that's really what a psychiatric
that's really what a psychiatric diagnosis is
diagnosis is so how can you tell the difference
so how can you tell the difference between what's ADHD and what's PTSD or
between what's ADHD and what's PTSD or cptsd so both of these can result in
cptsd so both of these can result in impairment in concentration or attention
impairment in concentration or attention both of them can result in impulsivity
both of them can result in impulsivity both of them can result in emotional
both of them can result in emotional disregulation how can we tell the
disregulation how can we tell the difference so a lot of what we know
difference so a lot of what we know about ADHD is from a neurodiverse
about ADHD is from a neurodiverse perspective we know that their brains
perspective we know that their brains develop in a slightly different way so
develop in a slightly different way so we know that people with ADHD have
we know that people with ADHD have less their frontal loes have less
less their frontal loes have less control over their impulses in their
control over their impulses in their emotions so people with ADHD are more
emotions so people with ADHD are more likely to get emotionally disregulated
likely to get emotionally disregulated and we can track that back to the
and we can track that back to the connections in their brain so our
connections in their brain so our frontal loes are the brakes and they can
frontal loes are the brakes and they can control and re in other parts of our
control and re in other parts of our brain but people with ADHD have breakes
brain but people with ADHD have breakes that seem to be weaker and there's some
that seem to be weaker and there's some kind of genetic component to this some
kind of genetic component to this some kind of the way that your brain is
kind of the way that your brain is wired now things get complicated because
wired now things get complicated because growing up in a neurotypical society as
growing up in a neurotypical society as someone who is neurodiverse results in
someone who is neurodiverse results in usually some level of trauma so if you
usually some level of trauma so if you look at comorbid ADHD and major
look at comorbid ADHD and major depressive disorder what you find is 3%
depressive disorder what you find is 3% of people who have major depressive
of people who have major depressive disorder will grow up to have
disorder will grow up to have ADHD but 70 % of people who have ADHD
ADHD but 70 % of people who have ADHD will grow up to have major depressive
will grow up to have major depressive disorder this is in within a comorbid
disorder this is in within a comorbid population so there is absolutely a
population so there is absolutely a positive impact of ADHD on depression
positive impact of ADHD on depression and the reason for that is because when
and the reason for that is because when you're
you're neurodiverse and people just tell you to
neurodiverse and people just tell you to try harder but your brain can't do that
try harder but your brain can't do that you start to believe something is wrong
you start to believe something is wrong with you you don't have as much
with you you don't have as much self-esteem people don't since you cut
self-esteem people don't since you cut in line you don't get invited to
in line you don't get invited to birthday Pary you have fewer friends
birthday Pary you have fewer friends because you can't wait your turn and all
because you can't wait your turn and all of these there's consequences of
of these there's consequences of untreated ADHD that will end up
untreated ADHD that will end up traumatizing so at that point we've kind
traumatizing so at that point we've kind of got both now this also gets confusing
of got both now this also gets confusing because there are a lot of features of
because there are a lot of features of PTSD like emotional disregulation
PTSD like emotional disregulation difficulty cont
difficulty cont concentrating so how can you tell the
concentrating so how can you tell the difference so there are a couple of
difference so there are a couple of different things to keep in mind the
different things to keep in mind the first is that it's not so important to
first is that it's not so important to really tease it out
really tease it out because many of the things that we will
because many of the things that we will do to fix one we would do to fix the
do to fix one we would do to fix the other anyway so simple example is
other anyway so simple example is meditation right so meditation is a
meditation right so meditation is a useful treatment for PTSD cptsd
useful treatment for PTSD cptsd borderline personality disorder and ADHD
borderline personality disorder and ADHD there are some specifics about the kind
there are some specifics about the kind of meditation which you kind of need to
of meditation which you kind of need to understand but generally speaking the
understand but generally speaking the treatment is going to be the same
treatment is going to be the same dealing with shame whether it comes from
dealing with shame whether it comes from ADHD or PTSD is going to be the not the
ADHD or PTSD is going to be the not the same but there's it's in the same
same but there's it's in the same ballpark let's put it that way so the
ballpark let's put it that way so the treatments for the two will overlap
treatments for the two will overlap quite a bit the third thing is emotional
quite a bit the third thing is emotional disregulation that needs to be improved
disregulation that needs to be improved in both right so this is where the first
in both right so this is where the first thing to keep in mind is it is not
thing to keep in mind is it is not necessary to perfectly tease these two
necessary to perfectly tease these two apart before we
apart before we intervene and this is something that we
intervene and this is something that we learn in clinical medicine right so when
learn in clinical medicine right so when you become a psychiatrist you learn this
you become a psychiatrist you learn this if you're not sure what the diagnosis is
if you're not sure what the diagnosis is lean into a treatment that treats both
lean into a treatment that treats both options so ssris does this person have a
options so ssris does this person have a anxious depression or do they have an
anxious depression or do they have an anxiety disorder with an adjustment
anxiety disorder with an adjustment disorder laid on top who knows in either
disorder laid on top who knows in either case ssris will treat both so if we're
case ssris will treat both so if we're going to start with something let's
going to start with something let's start with an SSRI so the treatments can
start with an SSRI so the treatments can overlap now there are a couple of places
overlap now there are a couple of places where the treatments don't overlap so
where the treatments don't overlap so for example things like stimulant
for example things like stimulant medication and that's where it is
medication and that's where it is important so we can do things like
important so we can do things like neuropsychological testing right we can
neuropsychological testing right we can offer formal testing to detect the
offer formal testing to detect the deficits of
deficits of ADHD um we can also offer like you know
ADHD um we can also offer like you know diagnostic scales of trauma and things
diagnostic scales of trauma and things like that and so like we can we can
like that and so like we can we can tease things apart in some way but I I'd
tease things apart in some way but I I'd say that practically you know I've
say that practically you know I've treated a lot of people where we're not
treated a lot of people where we're not sure like what is causing what and
sure like what is causing what and that's where like as a clinician what we
that's where like as a clinician what we do is okay like so if I think your
do is okay like so if I think your diagnoses are ADHD and PTSD we can start
diagnoses are ADHD and PTSD we can start somewh on stimulant
somewh on stimulant medication and then we see right what
medication and then we see right what part of this does this fix so if more of
part of this does this fix so if more of it is trauma oriented we would not
it is trauma oriented we would not expect ADHD medication to be that
expect ADHD medication to be that effective at improving things so over
effective at improving things so over time it's like it's like a process right
time it's like it's like a process right and that's why we we really emphasize
and that's why we we really emphasize that you should work with a clinician
that you should work with a clinician the advantage of working with a
the advantage of working with a clinician is that they will collect more
clinician is that they will collect more information over time and you will
information over time and you will refine your diagnosis and you absolutely
refine your diagnosis and you absolutely could both great
question okay next
um okay I'm going to see a therapist for the first time soon do you have any
the first time soon do you have any advice it's hard for me to open up and
advice it's hard for me to open up and talk about myself or how I feel
talk about myself or how I feel emotionally so here's my advice if
emotionally so here's my advice if you're going to a therapist for the
you're going to a therapist for the first
first time so remember that the therapist has
time so remember that the therapist has a job
a job and their job is to do their job so you
and their job is to do their job so you don't need to be great at opening up you
don't need to be great at opening up you don't have to talk about yourself
don't have to talk about yourself emotionally it is their job to make you
emotionally it is their job to make you feel comfortable enough to where you
feel comfortable enough to where you open up whether you kind of want to or
open up whether you kind of want to or not second thing to keep in mind is that
not second thing to keep in mind is that success in therapy is a skill so the
success in therapy is a skill so the first time that you go ice skating I
first time that you go ice skating I wouldn't expect you to know how to ice
wouldn't expect you to know how to ice skate in the same way going to therapy
skate in the same way going to therapy is something that you will get better at
is something that you will get better at overtime so there are some patients that
overtime so there are some patients that I've worked with where like I like one
I've worked with where like I like one of the things that I'll put in their
of the things that I'll put in their formulation and something that I'll let
formulation and something that I'll let them know is that I think you utilize
them know is that I think you utilize therapy very well right so people will
therapy very well right so people will get better at it so my advice would be
get better at it so my advice would be the most important part is showing
the most important part is showing up and then follow their lead and let
up and then follow their lead and let them know what you're looking for let
them know what you're looking for let them know what works for you and what
them know what works for you and what doesn't work for you it's totally fine
doesn't work for you it's totally fine to even tell them hey I I have
to even tell them hey I I have difficulty opening up and talking about
difficulty opening up and talking about my emotions that's totally fair game
my emotions that's totally fair game right so that's their job to help you
right so that's their job to help you get better at
that okay
um what tactic would you take to heal cptsd mixed with moral injury from a
cptsd mixed with moral injury from a specific event I'm confused about what
specific event I'm confused about what moral injury from a specific event
moral injury from a specific event is um what's the relationship between
is um what's the relationship between cptsd addiction and sense of
cptsd addiction and sense of worthlessness so let's talk about
worthlessness so let's talk about that so the first thing to understand
that so the first thing to understand about trauma and addiction is that tra
about trauma and addiction is that tra addiction is not a problem it is a
addiction is not a problem it is a solution so human beings get addicted to
solution so human beings get addicted to things for a couple of reasons so you
things for a couple of reasons so you can absolutely make a genetic argument
can absolutely make a genetic argument where there's a very strong you know
where there's a very strong you know vulnerability and once you get a taste
vulnerability and once you get a taste like the first drop of alcohol and
like the first drop of alcohol and you're hooked I've absolutely seen that
you're hooked I've absolutely seen that but for a lot of people addictions are
but for a lot of people addictions are solutions before they become problems so
solutions before they become problems so addictions give pleasure and take away
addictions give pleasure and take away pain and the problem with cptsd is that
pain and the problem with cptsd is that remember we have emotional
remember we have emotional disregulation we have difficulty so
disregulation we have difficulty so there's two parts there's two ways that
there's two parts there's two ways that people with with trauma have difficulty
people with with trauma have difficulty with their emotions the first is that
with their emotions the first is that their negative emotions in the more
their negative emotions in the more primitive parts of their brain this is
primitive parts of their brain this is places like the the
places like the the these are the part parts of our brain
these are the part parts of our brain that experience fear anxiety things like
that experience fear anxiety things like that those are very itchy they've got
that those are very itchy they've got itchy trigger fingers so they can
itchy trigger fingers so they can trigger very easily and very
trigger very easily and very intensely F that's the first emotional
intensely F that's the first emotional deficit second emotional problem that
deficit second emotional problem that people with trauma have is that their
people with trauma have is that their sense of self often times carries with
sense of self often times carries with it a lot of Shame and guilt and stuff
it a lot of Shame and guilt and stuff like that so this isn't like fear of the
like that so this isn't like fear of the outside world this is a persistent
outside world this is a persistent emotional negative state that I carry
emotional negative state that I carry with me that's actually a different part
with me that's actually a different part of the brain it relates more to the
of the brain it relates more to the default mode
default mode Network these are emotions that are
Network these are emotions that are called social cognitive emotions so we
called social cognitive emotions so we have two types of emotions we have our
have two types of emotions we have our primitive emotions like anger and fear
primitive emotions like anger and fear that even reptiles experience and then
that even reptiles experience and then we have a different part of our brain
we have a different part of our brain that has our social cognitive emotions
that has our social cognitive emotions Pride guilt shame you can't have those
Pride guilt shame you can't have those emotions without a social component I
emotions without a social component I feel proud when people look at me I feel
feel proud when people look at me I feel ashamed when people look at me it
ashamed when people look at me it requires
requires socialization so the people with PTSD
socialization so the people with PTSD have difficulty with that as well the
have difficulty with that as well the third thing that people with PTSD
third thing that people with PTSD struggle with is feeling positive
struggle with is feeling positive emotions these come from a completely
emotions these come from a completely different region of the brain the dorsal
different region of the brain the dorsal medial prefrontal cortex so this is
medial prefrontal cortex so this is stuff like excitement love curiosity
stuff like excitement love curiosity people with trauma feel kind of like
people with trauma feel kind of like numbed out right so it's kind of like
numbed out right so it's kind of like the real tragedy is you feel numbed out
the real tragedy is you feel numbed out in terms of
in terms of positivity but you're you've got a very
positivity but you're you've got a very itchy brain and it's easy to activate
itchy brain and it's easy to activate some of these negative emotions so where
some of these negative emotions so where does Addiction come in addiction fixes
does Addiction come in addiction fixes all three right so if we look at things
all three right so if we look at things like benzo aines these are treatments
like benzo aines these are treatments for anxiety and we developed benzo
for anxiety and we developed benzo diazines by recognizing that
diazines by recognizing that alcohol alleviates people's anxiety so
alcohol alleviates people's anxiety so we developed a pill that basically
we developed a pill that basically activates the same receptor as alcohol
activates the same receptor as alcohol kind of chills you out right so we know
kind of chills you out right so we know we can treat anxiety with certain
we can treat anxiety with certain psychoactive
psychoactive substances next thing that uh
substances next thing that uh psychoactive substances do is they will
psychoactive substances do is they will numb us right so this is also through
numb us right so this is also through the Gaba receptor like alcohol but there
the Gaba receptor like alcohol but there are other ways that they will sort of
are other ways that they will sort of make us forget ourselves that critical
make us forget ourselves that critical self dialogue that is always running in
self dialogue that is always running in our head goes away when we get high for
our head goes away when we get high for example so they alleviate our negative
example so they alleviate our negative emotions the Third thing that they help
emotions the Third thing that they help us do is feel positive emotions so it's
us do is feel positive emotions so it's easier to feel like we're having a good
easier to feel like we're having a good time we're vibing we're relaxing we're
time we're vibing we're relaxing we're chilling we're partying things like MDMA
chilling we're partying things like MDMA or ecstasy can help us feel connected to
or ecstasy can help us feel connected to other people right so if we really look
other people right so if we really look at it the reason that trauma and drugs
at it the reason that trauma and drugs overlap so heavily is because drugs and
overlap so heavily is because drugs and addictions fix the problems of trauma
addictions fix the problems of trauma but only temporarily so we also see this
but only temporarily so we also see this with with things like people who have a
with with things like people who have a history of trauma and have diagnoses of
history of trauma and have diagnoses of borderline personality disorder will
borderline personality disorder will engage with things like Pro promiscuous
engage with things like Pro promiscuous Behavior intense unstable relationships
Behavior intense unstable relationships to help feel loved right because when
to help feel loved right because when I'm head over heels in love with someone
I'm head over heels in love with someone I can feel better about myself so we see
I can feel better about myself so we see that if we look at the Neuroscience of
that if we look at the Neuroscience of emotional challenges with PTSD we see
emotional challenges with PTSD we see that addictions actually like fix all
that addictions actually like fix all three of those so there's a very high
three of those so there's a very high overlap the problem is that the fix from
overlap the problem is that the fix from an addiction is temporary and over time
an addiction is temporary and over time will get objectively
will get objectively worse great
okay how would you heal Trauma from having been in an incubator for a long
having been in an incubator for a long time as a b baby I have no clue I mean
time as a b baby I have no clue I mean that's really interesting there's a lot
that's really interesting there's a lot of like interesting data about you know
of like interesting data about you know per
per natal and and post birth like stuff and
natal and and post birth like stuff and correlations with things like learning
correlations with things like learning disabilities and stuff like that I've
disabilities and stuff like that I've never I don't think I've ever seen a
never I don't think I've ever seen a clinical case where like we thought that
clinical case where like we thought that the trauma originated at the level of an
the trauma originated at the level of an incubator but it's a very interesting
incubator but it's a very interesting question I'm not saying it can't have an
question I'm not saying it can't have an impact um really interesting question I
impact um really interesting question I don't have an answer to that one
okay is there a significant difference between someone who developed cptsd
between someone who developed cptsd because of one of those three household
because of one of those three household Styles versus someone who developed
Styles versus someone who developed cptsd from a
cptsd from a combination um especially if all three
combination um especially if all three situations are yeah so I think the
situations are yeah so I think the answer is basically yes
answer is basically yes so here's the here's the thing to
so here's the here's the thing to understand about trauma so we know about
understand about trauma so we know about trauma is that trauma shapes you and we
trauma is that trauma shapes you and we know that the way that it shapes you
know that the way that it shapes you causes problems later in life that's how
causes problems later in life that's how we Define trauma so negative events
we Define trauma so negative events shape us all the time but if it doesn't
shape us all the time but if it doesn't cause a negative impact we don't
cause a negative impact we don't diagnose someone with like PTSD so
diagnose someone with like PTSD so there's research on things like
there's research on things like post-traumatic growth where you can go
post-traumatic growth where you can go through something traumatic and you can
through something traumatic and you can end up
end up positive now this is where like this is
positive now this is where like this is why I think the treatment of trauma is
why I think the treatment of trauma is fun right so like I find it clinically
fun right so like I find it clinically enjoyable I know it's kind of weird to
enjoyable I know it's kind of weird to say but like I find it intellectually
say but like I find it intellectually engaging I find I have a lot of
engaging I find I have a lot of compassion I find a lot of like growth
compassion I find a lot of like growth and it gives me like positivity to see
and it gives me like positivity to see people overcome their trauma so I find
people overcome their trauma so I find the experience to be very like enjoyable
the experience to be very like enjoyable gratifying um and what we know is that
gratifying um and what we know is that the way in which you're busted will
the way in which you're busted will shape the way you're busted right so
shape the way you're busted right so like if you have a combination of
like if you have a combination of different traumatic things that can
different traumatic things that can result in like something new or
result in like something new or something different or a combination of
something different or a combination of the above now I don't know that one is
the above now I don't know that one is necessarily worse than the other but we
necessarily worse than the other but we absolutely see like nuances of each of
absolutely see like nuances of each of these manifestations and that's very
these manifestations and that's very common um and so then it's just an issue
common um and so then it's just an issue of like seeing which manifestation is
of like seeing which manifestation is common when
common when so like learning to think about the
so like learning to think about the future again like we want to do that and
future again like we want to do that and we want to learn how to like reward our
we want to learn how to like reward our autonomy like we can do all of the above
autonomy like we can do all of the above it's not either
or so what if I don't have the safety to want to calm down I wouldn't be as safe
want to calm down I wouldn't be as safe anymore if I were calm so that's a very
anymore if I were calm so that's a very common experience of people who have
common experience of people who have been traumatized so if you look at uh
been traumatized so if you look at uh research on
research on trauma what we find is that the most
trauma what we find is that the most important thing for healing trauma is
important thing for healing trauma is safety so we don't talk about this much
safety so we don't talk about this much as clinicians when we lecture about
as clinicians when we lecture about trauma but basically we know that like
trauma but basically we know that like physical safety and even to a certain
physical safety and even to a certain degree emotional safety is very very
degree emotional safety is very very important so the first step to treating
important so the first step to treating any trauma is not emotions or anything
any trauma is not emotions or anything like that is actually physical safety
like that is actually physical safety that's number one and the reason for
that's number one and the reason for that is very simple if you're not
that is very simple if you're not physically safe your hypothalamus will
physically safe your hypothalamus will be pumping out something called CR CR is
be pumping out something called CR CR is corticotropin releasing
corticotropin releasing hormone the CR will go to your your
hormone the CR will go to your your pituitary glands and will release act so
pituitary glands and will release act so your pituitary will pump out act which
your pituitary will pump out act which will cause your adrenal cortices to pump
will cause your adrenal cortices to pump out cortisol as long as your you have
out cortisol as long as your you have cortisol and other kinds of sympathetic
cortisol and other kinds of sympathetic nervous system or stress hormones
nervous system or stress hormones floating through your system you cannot
floating through your system you cannot rewire and you cannot heal like
rewire and you cannot heal like physiologically it is very difficult to
physiologically it is very difficult to do so if we look at the role of these
do so if we look at the role of these stress hormones stress hormones aren't
stress hormones stress hormones aren't about picking up the pieces they're
about picking up the pieces they're about surviving and getting through the
about surviving and getting through the day so what you find in people who have
day so what you find in people who have an experience of trauma who don't feel
an experience of trauma who don't feel safe and aren't safe is that is very
safe and aren't safe is that is very hard to work on the trauma because their
hard to work on the trauma because their brain is is not in a neuroplastic state
brain is is not in a neuroplastic state so let's understand this
so let's understand this okay so our brain develops or becomes
okay so our brain develops or becomes increasingly neuroplastic when we sleep
increasingly neuroplastic when we sleep so if we look at like memory
so if we look at like memory consolidation we have short-term memory
consolidation we have short-term memory and we have long-term memory our
and we have long-term memory our short-term memory which is kind of like
short-term memory which is kind of like our Ram gets Rewritten into our
our Ram gets Rewritten into our long-term memory which is kind of like
long-term memory which is kind of like our hard drive when we sleep so we do
our hard drive when we sleep so we do this process of memory consolidation
this process of memory consolidation this involves a lot of neuroplasticity
this involves a lot of neuroplasticity because we're forming new
because we're forming new memories now if we look at
memories now if we look at sleep stress hormones impede sleep so
sleep stress hormones impede sleep so sleep is when we build a lot of tissues
sleep is when we build a lot of tissues and grow a lot of neuron I mean we don't
and grow a lot of neuron I mean we don't grow too many neurons but bdnf increases
grow too many neurons but bdnf increases brain derived neurotrophic factor I
brain derived neurotrophic factor I think increases in sleep as well so our
think increases in sleep as well so our brain rewires when we
brain rewires when we sleep when we're stressed out we it runs
sleep when we're stressed out we it runs against the sleeping signals so we have
against the sleeping signals so we have these Pro sleep states where we our
these Pro sleep states where we our brain does things like rewire heal and
brain does things like rewire heal and learn and then we have these anti-sleep
learn and then we have these anti-sleep states which is like survive stay awake
states which is like survive stay awake and
and survive and so we absolutely need safety
survive and so we absolutely need safety as part of the healing process so I
as part of the healing process so I think the first step to Healing trauma
think the first step to Healing trauma is creating
is creating safety now that becomes a little bit
safety now that becomes a little bit tricky because sometimes because of our
tricky because sometimes because of our the nature of our hyperarousal and the
the nature of our hyperarousal and the way our nervous system is wired the lack
way our nervous system is wired the lack of safety is not quite as external as we
of safety is not quite as external as we think it is I'm not saying it isn't I
think it is I'm not saying it isn't I mean there people who are in abusive
mean there people who are in abusive households where it's unsafe objectively
households where it's unsafe objectively but the the tricky thing about trauma is
but the the tricky thing about trauma is that we carry that lack of safety within
that we carry that lack of safety within us so there's a balance between creating
us so there's a balance between creating external safety and even when you create
external safety and even when you create external safety it's not like internally
external safety it's not like internally you'll feel safe right away so there's a
you'll feel safe right away so there's a process of of letting yourself rewire to
process of of letting yourself rewire to feeling safe as well great question
feeling safe as well great question we're going to take one
we're going to take one more
um when I was born I was left crying for two hours in an incubator before someone
two hours in an incubator before someone held me and took me to my mother I blame
held me and took me to my mother I blame my constant anxiety for
my constant anxiety for this so that level of specificity I
this so that level of specificity I don't really like have much comment on I
don't really like have much comment on I would feel feel very very surprised to
would feel feel very very surprised to learn
learn that that singular event is responsible
that that singular event is responsible for a persistent adult
for a persistent adult condition would be very
condition would be very surprised so the the other thing that we
surprised so the the other thing that we know is that isolated events in
know is that isolated events in childhood kids are quite
childhood kids are quite resilient so like the the cool thing
resilient so like the the cool thing about kids is that even if they go
about kids is that even if they go through a traumatic experience it is
through a traumatic experience it is very common for them to bounce back and
very common for them to bounce back and that's because like kids are their brain
that's because like kids are their brain is very neuroplastic even their body is
is very neuroplastic even their body is quite changeable right so like kids have
quite changeable right so like kids have their neurons can still grow in ways
their neurons can still grow in ways that adults can't they can create new
that adults can't they can create new neurons most of what happens is pruning
neurons most of what happens is pruning but you know so like the their healing
but you know so like the their healing capacity is way bigger because they're
capacity is way bigger because they're like not in read only mode they're still
like not in read only mode they're still in right mode so that like a lot of them
in right mode so that like a lot of them can children can heal very easily um so
can children can heal very easily um so I'd be surprised I'm not saying it's not
I'd be surprised I'm not saying it's not possible that's something to work
possible that's something to work through with a
through with a clinician um interesting thank you for
sharing um do we know if EMDR is effective for
um do we know if EMDR is effective for cptsd I personally think it is but
cptsd I personally think it is but there's a lot of controversy around
there's a lot of controversy around EMDR and we don't have many studies on
EMDR and we don't have many studies on what's effective for cptsd
uh so my problem has been so good at masking my cptsd that they don't find
masking my cptsd that they don't find the issue any tips as to opening up yeah
the issue any tips as to opening up yeah I'd start with the body right that's why
I'd start with the body right that's why we kind of talked about that like so I
we kind of talked about that like so I don't know if this kind of makes sense
don't know if this kind of makes sense but the way that we've outlined our
but the way that we've outlined our approach to trauma and especially in the
approach to trauma and especially in the guide the reason it's built that
guide the reason it's built that way is because we have gotten these
way is because we have gotten these questions over and over and over and I
questions over and over and over and I have this problem I have this problem I
have this problem I have this problem I have this problem I have this problem
have this problem I have this problem what about this what about this what
what about this what about this what about this what about this what about
about this what about this what about this what about this what about this so
this what about this what about this so what we did is took all those questions
what we did is took all those questions and say okay if we take all of these
and say okay if we take all of these questions how can we understand trauma
questions how can we understand trauma that accounts for all of these so why do
that accounts for all of these so why do we have a video about paralysis of
we have a video about paralysis of initiation and impulsivity because we
initiation and impulsivity because we recognize that there's an overlap
recognize that there's an overlap between the symptomatology of ADHD and
between the symptomatology of ADHD and Trauma we recognize that people with
Trauma we recognize that people with trauma have difficulties that feel like
trauma have difficulties that feel like ADHD so that's in there we recognize
ADHD so that's in there we recognize that people have difficulty opening up
that people have difficulty opening up we recognize that people have difficulty
we recognize that people have difficulty feeling their emotions that's why we
feeling their emotions that's why we start with the
start with the body right and that's why relationships
body right and that's why relationships is at the very
is at the very end so start with the
body okay um
how do I bring up cptsd up to my therapist I resonated with this topic a
therapist I resonated with this topic a lot but I feel like it's not my place to
lot but I feel like it's not my place to initiate the conversation there it is
initiate the conversation there it is right so
right so like I can
like I can say it's absolutely your place to
say it's absolutely your place to initiate the conversation that's your
initiate the conversation that's your job that's why you're going right you're
job that's why you're going right you're going for your benefit not the therapist
going for your benefit not the therapist benefit if it helps you by all means
benefit if it helps you by all means bring it up that doesn't work though
bring it up that doesn't work though right so one of the manifestations of
right so one of the manifestations of cptsd is you feel like it's not your
cptsd is you feel like it's not your place you feel like deferring to the
place you feel like deferring to the other person you feel like following
other person you feel like following someone else's
someone else's lead see when we don't have a
lead see when we don't have a well-formed sense of identity we don't
well-formed sense of identity we don't feel like we deserve very much it's not
feel like we deserve very much it's not my
my place when it's absolutely your place
place when it's absolutely your place like that's the definition of your place
like that's the definition of your place the the reason the therapy is the one
the the reason the therapy is the one place where you get to go for you and
place where you get to go for you and for no one else so whatever you want is
for no one else so whatever you want is fair game
fair game right I within reason it's like the the
right I within reason it's like the the therapist can say
therapist can say no but it's very common so notice that
no but it's very common so notice that notice that your desire to not even
notice that your desire to not even bring it up or your feeling that that's
bring it up or your feeling that that's not my place to bring it up could be a
not my place to bring it up could be a manifestation of the very problem itself
manifestation of the very problem itself and just notice that and then try your
and just notice that and then try your best to bring it
best to bring it up right you can even share so one last
up right you can even share so one last technique that I'll give you all is if
technique that I'll give you all is if you're having so this is like Pro
you're having so this is like Pro technique and therapy okay
technique and therapy okay so sometimes we feel embarrassed
so sometimes we feel embarrassed bringing something up because there's a
bringing something up because there's a lot of emotional energy here there's
lot of emotional energy here there's shame there's guilt there's like oh my
shame there's guilt there's like oh my God this kind of kinky thing kind of
God this kind of kinky thing kind of turns me on and like oh my God I have
turns me on and like oh my God I have these kind of
these kind of thoughts and so we have difficulty like
thoughts and so we have difficulty like tackling that emotion and being
tackling that emotion and being vulnerable so instead what I want youall
vulnerable so instead what I want youall to do is go one layer above
to do is go one layer above it so what you can say to your therapist
it so what you can say to your therapist is there's something that I feel ashamed
is there's something that I feel ashamed of that I don't feel comfortable
of that I don't feel comfortable bringing up with you so you go meta
bringing up with you so you go meta right so you're not bringing up the
right so you're not bringing up the thing you're saying this thing is hard
thing you're saying this thing is hard for
for me and then even if that's too hard you
me and then even if that's too hard you can go one level above I want to bring
can go one level above I want to bring something up with you I want to bring up
something up with you I want to bring up that I'm scared to talk about something
that I'm scared to talk about something but even that's hard to talk about so
but even that's hard to talk about so what we want to do is move away from the
what we want to do is move away from the emotion and put that out there right say
emotion and put that out there right say like even one step removed you don't
like even one step removed you don't have to talk about the shameful thing
have to talk about the shameful thing there's something that I'm ashamed of
there's something that I'm ashamed of that I don't want to talk about you can
that I don't want to talk about you can just say
just say that and then it's the therapist job to
that and then it's the therapist job to take over like that's what we're good at
take over like that's what we're good at right that's what we're trained for
right that's what we're trained for we're trained to help you do
we're trained to help you do that and even when we're like so is a
that and even when we're like so is a there's a good technique in therapy
there's a good technique in therapy called going mattera right so and and
called going mattera right so and and that's when when there's something like
that's when when there's something like so if someone says like hey I'm like I'm
so if someone says like hey I'm like I'm here for therapy I want to focus on this
here for therapy I want to focus on this but I don't want to talk about this and
but I don't want to talk about this and so what do we do in therapy we don't say
so what do we do in therapy we don't say okay okay screw you we're going to talk
okay okay screw you we're going to talk about that anyway because you don't want
about that anyway because you don't want to talk about it no what we do is help
to talk about it no what we do is help me understand why you don't want to talk
me understand why you don't want to talk about it totally fine we don't have to
about it totally fine we don't have to talk about it just can you give me a
talk about it just can you give me a little bit of
little bit of context
context cool and then you can bring it up later
cool and then you can bring it up later so then it's your therapist job to get
so then it's your therapist job to get there if you want to talk about it you
there if you want to talk about it you can say hey I want to talk about this
can say hey I want to talk about this thing but I'm too embarrassed and I'm
thing but I'm too embarrassed and I'm going to shut
um how do I explain my cptsd to a family member that has expressed that she wants
member that has expressed that she wants to help but doesn't really understand
to help but doesn't really understand the gravity of my
the gravity of my issues honestly like I'd send them this
issues honestly like I'd send them this video right so one thing that's starting
video right so one thing that's starting to
to happen is that people are starting to
happen is that people are starting to share some of our content like not for
share some of our content like not for themselves but like they're like you
themselves but like they're like you know we we had video about autism and
know we we had video about autism and gender identity we had a video about
gender identity we had a video about relationships with BPD with people with
relationships with BPD with people with borderline personality disorder we've
borderline personality disorder we've had and so we're seeing a lot of like
had and so we're seeing a lot of like sharing going on so you know a lot of
sharing going on so you know a lot of people struggle to convey what we convey
people struggle to convey what we convey don't convey it just share and like I I
don't convey it just share and like I I don't know if yall get this I cannot
don't know if yall get this I cannot remember the last time I know that like
remember the last time I know that like all content creators are like hey if you
all content creators are like hey if you like the video like subscribe and share
like the video like subscribe and share share I can't remember the last time I
share I can't remember the last time I can't remember I mean I've done it
can't remember I mean I've done it before right so maybe on like like why
before right so maybe on like like why men the male suicide or why therapy
men the male suicide or why therapy sucks for men there are a couple of
sucks for men there are a couple of videos that we've done lectures we've
videos that we've done lectures we've done streams that we've done where I've
done streams that we've done where I've asked yall to share things I don't ask
asked yall to share things I don't ask yall to share things
yall to share things like you know sure it helps us but like
like you know sure it helps us but like that's not we're not here for us we're
that's not we're not here for us we're here for you and that's why I don't ask
here for you and that's why I don't ask yall to like subscribe or share
yall to like subscribe or share the only time I ask youall to do it is
the only time I ask youall to do it is when I think it benefits you or someone
when I think it benefits you or someone else who may need help so this is one of
else who may need help so this is one of the rare times where I would say the
the rare times where I would say the whole reason we do this and we store
whole reason we do this and we store these is so that y'all can share it with
these is so that y'all can share it with other people so like if you don't know
other people so like if you don't know like if like let's say you watch a video
like if like let's say you watch a video about BPD and you realize holy crap I
about BPD and you realize holy crap I could have BPD this is what it's like to
could have BPD this is what it's like to be in my shoes I think you should
be in my shoes I think you should absolutely share that with someone who
absolutely share that with someone who you're in a relationship with and be
you're in a relationship with and be like H this person kind of explains what
like H this person kind of explains what my experience is like in a way that I
my experience is like in a way that I can't quite explain
can't quite explain it right or something about addiction or
it right or something about addiction or whatever like if you're if you're a
whatever like if you're if you're a gifted kid and your parents tell you
gifted kid and your parents tell you that you have all the potential in the
that you have all the potential in the world and if you just tried harder send
world and if you just tried harder send them more gifted kids a special needs
them more gifted kids a special needs video right so we're here as a resource
video right so we're here as a resource for your benefit that does not just mean
for your benefit that does not just mean you you're you're the only one that can
you you're you're the only one that can has to watch us so if we explain a
has to watch us so if we explain a concept in a way that it would be useful
concept in a way that it would be useful for someone in your life to understand
for someone in your life to understand then you should share our videos but
then you should share our videos but once again that's not so that we can
once again that's not so that we can increase our views by 0.001% that is
increase our views by 0.001% that is because it benefits you that's why you
because it benefits you that's why you should share or if it benefits someone
would you consider Spanish subtitles I think we're working on
um oh what a beautiful question so we're at time for the day but I'm going to
at time for the day but I'm going to leave yall with one last question that I
leave yall with one last question that I love uh there's two questions man these
love uh there's two questions man these are so so best meditation for trauma
are so so best meditation for trauma we're past time so I don't have time or
we're past time so I don't have time or energy to do meditation today for which
energy to do meditation today for which I apologize but in the trauma guide
I apologize but in the trauma guide we've got hold on a second let me tell
we've got hold on a second let me tell y'all we have a whole new stock of
meditations oh here oh damn it I just realized that people are telling
realized that people are telling me
um these are so good okay we're going to answer one
good okay we're going to answer one quick one one question then we're going
quick one one question then we're going to try to speed run a couple more so
to try to speed run a couple more so first thing is um what was I talking
first thing is um what was I talking about I don't even remember brain death
about I don't even remember brain death is setting in um oh meditations so we
is setting in um oh meditations so we have we have a bunch of meditations let
have we have a bunch of meditations let me
me count uh so we have at I think about 10
count uh so we have at I think about 10 meditations okay no one is an overview
meditations okay no one is an overview one two one two 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 there's
one two one two 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 there's 11 meditations in the trauma guide
11 meditations in the trauma guide um so definitely check those out I think
um so definitely check those out I think they're great they'll build on the
they're great they'll build on the existing meditations that we've taught
existing meditations that we've taught you all and I just ran into Will trauma
you all and I just ran into Will trauma ever go away quick answer to that
ever go away quick answer to that one possibly actually so we know that we
one possibly actually so we know that we know that like a lot of people will heal
know that like a lot of people will heal from trauma without any overt
from trauma without any overt intervention so the cool thing is like
intervention so the cool thing is like if you look at the body like the body
if you look at the body like the body and brain like heal that's what we're
and brain like heal that's what we're designed to do so the short answer is
designed to do so the short answer is it's very possible that you don't need
it's very possible that you don't need to do a damn thing and you'll just just
to do a damn thing and you'll just just it'll fix itself or your relationships
it'll fix itself or your relationships will organically fix
will organically fix it I wouldn't adopt that strategy
it I wouldn't adopt that strategy though
though um there's another question of how do we
um there's another question of how do we address the sources of trauma out in the
address the sources of trauma out in the world and who is responsible for doing
world and who is responsible for doing so that's a lovely question I love it
so that's a lovely question I love it love it love it love it love it it's Way
love it love it love it love it it's Way Beyond the scope of what we have time
Beyond the scope of what we have time for today so I think this is a oh
for today so I think this is a oh actually that's in the guide what am I
actually that's in the guide what am I saying so I was going to say so we can
saying so I was going to say so we can absolutely talk about it but I think
absolutely talk about it but I think Karma talking about karma is a very good
Karma talking about karma is a very good exploration of this topic so over on the
exploration of this topic so over on the membership side we had a couple of great
membership side we had a couple of great Karma lectures we talk about Karma and
Karma lectures we talk about Karma and the trauma guide because there is this
the trauma guide because there is this whole idea of like you know everything
whole idea of like you know everything we're talking about is fixing you but
we're talking about is fixing you but what about the outside world so I think
what about the outside world so I think that's a very important discussion but I
that's a very important discussion but I I don't think it's a short answer I
I don't think it's a short answer I think it's like a if we're going to talk
think it's like a if we're going to talk about it let's talk about
about it let's talk about it um
it um okay so can you recommend specific
okay so can you recommend specific meditation techniques there's 10 about
meditation techniques there's 10 about 10 of them in the guide um which by the
10 of them in the guide um which by the way is why we built a guide right
way is why we built a guide right because like I don't know if this makes
because like I don't know if this makes sense but there's no way we can get to
sense but there's no way we can get to even 1% of the questions that y'all ask
even 1% of the questions that y'all ask or even share with y'all 1% of like the
or even share with y'all 1% of like the meditations that y'all can try and
meditations that y'all can try and things like that that's why we build
things like that that's why we build these stock resources that are way more
these stock resources that are way more in depth I I don't know if this kind of
in depth I I don't know if this kind of makes sense but
makes sense but you know filming of the trauma guide is
you know filming of the trauma guide is like the
like the filming is a week of me showing up at a
filming is a week of me showing up at a studio at like 8:00 and leaving at 5:
studio at like 8:00 and leaving at 5: and cameras are rolling for like 9 hours
and cameras are rolling for like 9 hours a day for like 5 to seven
a day for like 5 to seven days and so it's it's like you know like
days and so it's it's like you know like in order to duplicate that I would have
in order to duplicate that I would have to stream for like 50 hours in a week so
to stream for like 50 hours in a week so I just can't do that like my voice
I just can't do that like my voice cannot handle it so that's why we build
cannot handle it so that's why we build these resources because there's just no
these resources because there's just no way we can get to everything but it's
way we can get to everything but it's very like and the reason we edit and
very like and the reason we edit and everything is so that like it's very
everything is so that like it's very high
high yield
um so how do you start to build your own sense of self I think it's first of all
sense of self I think it's first of all cleaning out negative emotions and then
cleaning out negative emotions and then starting to bring together emotional
starting to bring together emotional experiences into a new narrative there's
experiences into a new narrative there's a whole video about narrative and
a whole video about narrative and identity and constructing a positive
identity and constructing a positive narrative is something that can be
narrative is something that can be taught it is a skill and it is something
taught it is a skill and it is something that has been shown to improve uh
that has been shown to improve uh outcomes and Trauma so like narrative is
outcomes and Trauma so like narrative is an important part absolutely so there's
an important part absolutely so there's just a way to do it um how to not be one
just a way to do it um how to not be one of the 69% to resist trauma treatment
of the 69% to resist trauma treatment great question so remember that those
great question so remember that those people are not resistant to trauma
people are not resistant to trauma treatment they are resistant to a
treatment they are resistant to a particular intervention for a particular
particular intervention for a particular diagnosis and we know the cause for that
diagnosis and we know the cause for that resistance is a high level of
resistance is a high level of dissociation we have other things that
dissociation we have other things that improve
improve dissociation so there's a certain model
dissociation so there's a certain model of of trauma treatment called stare and
of of trauma treatment called stare and the whole model is based on first you do
the whole model is based on first you do this then you do this then you do this
this then you do this then you do this then you do this and when you do it that
then you do this and when you do it that way that's like a comprehensive approach
way that's like a comprehensive approach that checks most of the boxes and deals
that checks most of the boxes and deals with this concept of resistant to trauma
with this concept of resistant to trauma treatment is cptsd curable or do you
treatment is cptsd curable or do you have to deal with it for the rest of
have to deal with it for the rest of your life I personally believe that for
your life I personally believe that for I would say most people it is basically
I would say most people it is basically curable I know it's a bold statement I
curable I know it's a bold statement I may be
may be dumb I may be wrong but I personally
dumb I may be wrong but I personally believe that trauma for most people can
believe that trauma for most people can be cured I do not believe that for
be cured I do not believe that for schizophrenia so I think we know that
schizophrenia so I think we know that some of our psychiatric
some of our psychiatric diagnoses are
diagnoses are like Progressive and more biologically
like Progressive and more biologically driven so schizophrenia is a really good
driven so schizophrenia is a really good example of that
example of that one where but like trauma is different
one where but like trauma is different I've seen people basically be in
I've seen people basically be in complete remission or cure from cptsd
complete remission or cure from cptsd before
before um I'm 50 and never felt happy how long
um I'm 50 and never felt happy how long into treatment for PTSD will I be before
into treatment for PTSD will I be before I can start to feel the short answer is
I can start to feel the short answer is I don't know
so the other thing about trauma treatment is that your mileage may vary
treatment is that your mileage may vary so if we look at most
so if we look at most treatments they tend to be effective
treatments they tend to be effective somewhere around the 8we mark and you'll
somewhere around the 8we mark and you'll have some gains up until about the 16 we
have some gains up until about the 16 we Mark and then beyond that you can
Mark and then beyond that you can absolutely have gains but generally
absolutely have gains but generally speaking it takes two to four months for
speaking it takes two to four months for treatments to start to be
treatments to start to be effective that being said feeling
paper feeling happy is not necessarily one of the things
is not necessarily one of the things that we look
at in in trauma treatment right so we'll like measure some things but we don't
like measure some things but we don't necessarily look at happiness so like
necessarily look at happiness so like this is the kind of thing where
this is the kind of thing where you know the short answer is your
you know the short answer is your mileage may vary the slightly longer
mileage may vary the slightly longer answer which is super
answer which is super cool is complex post-traumatic stress
cool is complex post-traumatic stress disorder is an independent diagnosis
disorder is an independent diagnosis differences in hedonic and UD dionic
differences in hedonic and UD dionic well-being between p cptsd and PTSD I
well-being between p cptsd and PTSD I imagine that the answer to your question
imagine that the answer to your question is somewhere in this paper so what this
is somewhere in this paper so what this paper talks about is that there are two
paper talks about is that there are two kinds of Happiness there is dopaminergic
kinds of Happiness there is dopaminergic happiness and there is serotonergic
happiness and there is serotonergic happiness
happiness dopam energic happiness is what we call
dopam energic happiness is what we call hedonic hon Hedonism hedonic well-being
hedonic hon Hedonism hedonic well-being so this is like my ability to experience
so this is like my ability to experience pleasure UD dionic happiness is a sense
pleasure UD dionic happiness is a sense of contentment peace or internal
of contentment peace or internal happiness that is not tied to a
happiness that is not tied to a particular thing so if I
particular thing so if I like go on a roller coaster that will
like go on a roller coaster that will increase my hedonic happiness playing a
increase my hedonic happiness playing a video game will will increase my hedonic
video game will will increase my hedonic happiness watching pornography will
happiness watching pornography will increase my hedonic happiness because it
increase my hedonic happiness because it gives me
gives me pleasure but especially with things like
pleasure but especially with things like video games and pornography it can
video games and pornography it can decrease my UD dionic
decrease my UD dionic happiness so this is my sense of like
happiness so this is my sense of like peace and joy in
peace and joy in life unfortunately cptsd is associated
life unfortunately cptsd is associated with impairments in both and less of
with impairments in both and less of both so what we do know is that if you
both so what we do know is that if you get treated for this stuff those both of
get treated for this stuff those both of those indices will improve and what we
those indices will improve and what we also know is that in
also know is that in cptsd UD dionic unhappiness is more
cptsd UD dionic unhappiness is more profound than hedonic unhappiness so if
profound than hedonic unhappiness so if you have a history of trauma your
you have a history of trauma your ability to engage in pleasure is
ability to engage in pleasure is modulated or impaired but your ability
modulated or impaired but your ability to feel at peace and feel Joy in life is
to feel at peace and feel Joy in life is even more
even more impaired so the pleasure circuitry is
impaired so the pleasure circuitry is somewhat intact the sense of Peace
somewhat intact the sense of Peace circuitry is more screwed
circuitry is more screwed up so let's just kind of take a quick
up so let's just kind of take a quick look at I think I remember that
um see these findings indicate that core symptoms of
symptoms of cptsd Might hinder individuals from
cptsd Might hinder individuals from living fulfilling lives that's what UD
living fulfilling lives that's what UD dionic happiness is
dionic happiness is okay it's
okay it's bizarre so if you guys are
bizarre so if you guys are wondering so like putting together this
wondering so like putting together this deep dive first thing is for every hour
deep dive first thing is for every hour that I spend telling y'all about
that I spend telling y'all about something there's four hours of stuff
something there's four hours of stuff that I leave
that I leave out and this is like this is why I like
out and this is like this is why I like doing such a deep dive because it's like
doing such a deep dive because it's like cool because if youall ask a question it
cool because if youall ask a question it turns out there's literally at least one
turns out there's literally at least one paper that talks about happiness and
paper that talks about happiness and Trauma
Trauma right so the there's good news and bad
right so the there's good news and bad news here the short answer is how long
news here the short answer is how long will it take you to feel happy I would
will it take you to feel happy I would say give it at least 6
say give it at least 6 months but there are also other caveats
months but there are also other caveats there right because whether you feel
there right because whether you feel happy or not can be somewhat independent
happy or not can be somewhat independent of your treatment so I had a patient who
of your treatment so I had a patient who once came in and I treated them for
once came in and I treated them for major depressive
major depressive disorder and after about two years they
disorder and after about two years they said I don't feel like I've gotten any
said I don't feel like I've gotten any better and I was like well what do you
better and I was like well what do you mean by that because your life is
mean by that because your life is improved we've talked about all the
improved we've talked about all the things that have improved and he's like
things that have improved and he's like I still don't I still feel depressed
I still don't I still feel depressed every day and after tunneling down into
every day and after tunneling down into it that's when we realized this isn't
it that's when we realized this isn't depression this is
depression this is unhappiness and the presence of
unhappiness and the presence of depression is different from the
depression is different from the presence the absence of unhappiness the
presence the absence of unhappiness the these are two separate things the
these are two separate things the treatment of depression moves us towards
treatment of depression moves us towards neutral learning to be happy is its own
neutral learning to be happy is its own separate path this is often times more
separate path this is often times more along the spiritual line as opposed to
along the spiritual line as opposed to the clinical
the clinical line and in trauma that can be true as
line and in trauma that can be true as well and so if someone hasn't felt happy
well and so if someone hasn't felt happy we absolutely know that things like the
we absolutely know that things like the dorsal medial prefrontal cortex are
dorsal medial prefrontal cortex are impaired in cptsd which prevents people
impaired in cptsd which prevents people or makes it difficult for them to feel
or makes it difficult for them to feel positive emotions instead they feel
positive emotions instead they feel numbness when they go to a birthday
numbness when they go to a birthday party for them when they go to their
party for them when they go to their birthday party everyone is happy and
birthday party everyone is happy and celebrating and you're just like I don't
celebrating and you're just like I don't feel anything like it's not bad but I
feel anything like it's not bad but I don't feel
don't feel Joy and that's where there is the so
Joy and that's where there is the so treating cptsd will help with you dionic
treating cptsd will help with you dionic wellbeing
wellbeing absolutely but part of that treatment is
absolutely but part of that treatment is a little bit more spiritual and you can
a little bit more spiritual and you can do that on your own right so you can do
do that on your own right so you can do you can learn to appreciate you can
you can learn to appreciate you can start practicing gratitude there are
start practicing gratitude there are other ways to engage to increase your
other ways to engage to increase your happiness that don't have to do so much
happiness that don't have to do so much with cptsd now I suspect some of these
with cptsd now I suspect some of these techniques will be difficult for people
techniques will be difficult for people with
with cptsd because the parts of their brain
cptsd because the parts of their brain that normally these techniques would
that normally these techniques would activate May somehow be
activate May somehow be impaired so I I recently did a lecture
impaired so I I recently did a lecture on the Neuroscience of
on the Neuroscience of Enlightenment and that may be showing up
Enlightenment and that may be showing up on on one of our channels soon maybe
on on one of our channels soon maybe maybe not I'm not
maybe not I'm not sure but the short answer is your
sure but the short answer is your mileage may vary it is a very good
mileage may vary it is a very good question there's a lot at play between
question there's a lot at play between trauma and happiness and fulfillment
trauma and happiness and fulfillment treatment will
treatment will help but even if it doesn't help don't
help but even if it doesn't help don't give up I guess that's what I mean to
give up I guess that's what I mean to say that the treatment of an illness is
say that the treatment of an illness is not the same as creating happiness in
not the same as creating happiness in your life and sometimes that is an
your life and sometimes that is an independent
independent process and on that note we're at time
process and on that note we're at time for the day way past time so it's been
for the day way past time so it's been an absolute pleasure to be here today
an absolute pleasure to be here today with y'all um let me think
with y'all um let me think about I just want to show y'all a couple
about I just want to show y'all a couple of things before we close out so for
of things before we close out so for those of y'all that are joining us late
those of y'all that are joining us late we do have a trauma guide that is going
we do have a trauma guide that is going to be coming out soon that is available
to be coming out soon that is available for
for pre-order um I know we discussed a lot
pre-order um I know we discussed a lot of dense Neuroscience today so we're
of dense Neuroscience today so we're also improving things in that
also improving things in that Dimension so here we have
some of the trauma guide Graphics right so some of these
Graphics right so some of these complicated Neuroscience things that we
complicated Neuroscience things that we teach y'all we absolutely want to teach
teach y'all we absolutely want to teach y'all like we try to make it accessible
y'all like we try to make it accessible but we're not dumbing it down and I
but we're not dumbing it down and I think that the more that yall understand
think that the more that yall understand the difference between dorsal medial
the difference between dorsal medial prefrontal cortex emotions and amygdalar
prefrontal cortex emotions and amygdalar emotions the more in control of your
emotions the more in control of your life you'll be and in order to
life you'll be and in order to facilitate that understanding we have a
facilitate that understanding we have a lot of cool stuff coming down the
lot of cool stuff coming down the pipeline the trauma guide is made with a
pipeline the trauma guide is made with a lot of love so definitely check it
lot of love so definitely check it out thank youall very much for coming
out thank youall very much for coming here today um and then you know take
here today um and then you know take care of yourselves like don't give up
care of yourselves like don't give up it's not
it's not over like the reason it's it's
over like the reason it's it's reasonable to want to give up because
reasonable to want to give up because you can try really hard and things don't
you can try really hard and things don't improve makes a lot of sense I hear that
improve makes a lot of sense I hear that but it doesn't mean just because things
but it doesn't mean just because things have not improved does not mean that
have not improved does not mean that things are impossible so take car all
things are impossible so take car all happy weekend
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