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How women control men | Kouki | YouTubeToText
YouTube Transcript: How women control men
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Summary
Core Theme
This content explores the "damsel in distress" archetype, explaining how some women weaponize perceived helplessness to manipulate men ("white knights"), and advises men to recognize these patterns and prioritize their own well-being.
Hi everybody, welcome to this channel. I
am Cookie.
Um today is um
and not not a regular uploader because
usually I upload on Sunday
every single week. But um there is topic
that I actually would love to share with
you all and that is about damsel in distress.
distress.
Themsel in distress is actually an
archetype uh that describes
people individuals who
kind of seem to never being able to get
out get out of um situations like
they're never being able to help
themselves like they're helpless all the
time and they need people to save them
to rescue them so to
fulfill their role being them. So in
distress. Okay. So that is actually uh
if you see
in uh literature this would be how
certain characters are formed uh being
put into uh such archetypes uh to play a
role in order to fulfill their destiny
in a sense right and so dam in this
dress actually comes from certain
mythology if I don't remember it wrong
uh dam is actually a girl's name. So,
literature piece. All right? So, search
it up and let me know in the comment
section below if you do actually search
it up because I don't remember it, but
it is an actual um piece of literature.
So, dam in distress. Why do I want to
talk about this? because there are many
white knights, the knights in shining
armor uh to whom that I have come across
with and I have um observed
and I just would love to
uh film this video for those white
knights, those nice guys
uh the
providers, the protectors, those men who
have is
such a protective instinct in them and
they love to help other people. They
love to give to people. They are the
great givers. Okay. Now, these white knights
knights
and maybe if you're listening to it, you
might be one as well.
I I wouldn't say it's for all cases, but
mostly you guys have a soft spot for
women who seem to be helpless, who seem
to be very soft and not not soft in a
way that is um
just being kind and
um reasonable. Okay? Not this kind of
soft. I'm not talking about this kind of
soft that has integrity in it.
Okay. Now, there's a fine line between
that. And this video is actually more
dedicated for the men.
For men. I'm I'm filming this video for men.
men.
I want to share with you now as a woman, right?
right?
how certain women can weaponize um
um
against men using their such a soft spot
natural instinct when it comes to saving
women or protecting the protective
instinct in men. Okay? And certain women could
could
I'm not saying that they
intentionally do this but some do
actually intentionally
utilize such a technique uh such a
putting oneself in such a situation
being in such an archetype as in dmsel
in distress to attract in men to hook
men up and to play with them I would
even say to make use of men to take
advantage of men. It was it would be
only later these men
uh would realize that wait I'm actually
being used
I'm actually being played emotionally manipulated
manipulated
guilt tripped. Okay. So this video is
actually for pointing out for I just
want to bring
uh bring this to light. Okay, I just
want to bring this to light. Yes,
because there are women doing this.
Okay, there are actually women doing
this and I would love to give you
certain signs or symptoms
to just first diagnose that if you're
actually a white knight. Okay, if you
are white knight, if you have this kind
of white knight syndrome or like a night
in shining armor. Okay, now this is a
good quality of you. If you do love
helping people, if you do um love to,
you know, go the extra mile for those in
need of help. Okay, this is a very good virtue.
virtue.
But mind you, some people would take
advantage of this of this quality of
you, especially men. Okay, if you do
if you do have resources, if you do have money,
be careful with that because some women,
if they don't
utilize their
magnetic energy in a good way, in a
positive way, they are basically the Fam fidel
fidel
fam fatal.
Okay. So
what would usually happen is that your
finance would be drained. Your entire emotion
emotion
emotional state would be quite
disrupted. Your emotional state would be
linked to how she is. your
um life would be surrounded by her
situation that she threw herself in.
Uh sometimes actually un unintentionally
but most of the time intentionally
because she knows that once she is in
such a situation you would run to her.
Okay. Now I'm already throwing out
signs. If you are in any situations like
this, be aware you would be the first
person she would say you would be the
first person that would come to save
her, come to help her and you she would
be showing a lot of gratitude to you.
But this is not just one time thing. It
has been many times and she has always
been like this and she's not actually
improving. Even if she's improving is
very slow
because the thing is she has no
intention of actually standing on her
own feet. She is living off you. She's
living off your kindness.
She living she's living off your
you feeding her.
And the fact is why would you feed her?
Why would you be attracted to her? Yes,
a woman who seems to be so weak and she
is so helpless and she seems to be she
needs help.
But have you thought about it? Why would
you be attracted to such women
need so much help that you you are the
only person that could help her, right?
It could actually be something related
to your own family background, your your
childhood where you have your mother
figure in your own life or feminine
figures in your life that
they it how I personally see it is that
it comes from two extremes.
is either you have a very controlling
mother or you have a very weak mother figure.
figure.
So it is two extremes and both ways
would actually
cause men to attract to themsel in
distress in a sense.
In a sense because for those who have
mother figures in their life uh
that are very weak. Okay. Okay. The one
that who victimize themselves, the one
who the ones who victimize themselves,
that's what them so in distress uh does.
The ones who victimize themselves would
say the world is unfair to them. How
people treat them badly and they are
just innocent all the time. Um they have
nothing. They they didn't cause harm to
anyone. They didn't want to, you know,
whatever it is. I'm not saying that that
I'm not saying that they are actually
unkind people like them so in distress.
No, it's just that the behavior speaks
speaks louder than their actions, their
words. Behavior is that is behavior is slightly
slightly
different than actions behavior involves
involves
it. Behavior is sort of like
emotion plus action together.
Because when you have certain behavior,
it's because you're being
prompted by certain emotions and thus
you would act out in a certain way. So
it's emotion plus actions would become behavior.
behavior.
Okay? Now that's why I said behaviors
speak louder than their words uh and actions
actions
because it's very subtle.
You you know what I'm trying to say?
It's very subtle. You can't really trust
their words.
It's hidden. It's very hidden. It's
hidden behind their actions and their
words because it's mind games. It's the
women is how women play mind games with
you men. And you don't know
men usually think mind games is just
strategic, right? Logic. You don't
understand how women play their games.
And now I'm revealing to you because I
don't give a damn
because literally I do not play such
mind games like not the uh strategic
ones nor the emotional ones. That is why
I'm speaking here and I just want to let
you know that men men if you're
listening and thank you so much for
listening to here. So if you know any w woman
woman
uh makes you a miserable person like
whenever you're around such a woman she
might give you something sweet at one
moment but like
once they flip you just like I just want
to get out of here.
Emotionally speaking they really
draining. Okay that's the emotional mind
game. And for men they play the
strategic mind game. Strategic mind
game. Okay. Now what women play when it
comes to emotional mind game is that
it's very subtle. That's why that's why
I said it's the behavior. What they do
is they play your heartstrings.
They play with your heartstrings. Okay?
Your heartstrings. They play victim.
They play that they are weak. They play that
that
there are two types of women when it
comes to emotional mind games. The first
one would guilt trip you the first time
guilt trip. The second type would
victimize themselves to make you feel
guilty. Same same thing is also guilt
tripping. It is guilt tripping. The core
is about guilt tripping but the way of
expression would be different. The first
type would be being aggressive
or passive aggressive.
Okay. So aggression violence in a
feminine way that's the first type. How example
example
they would blame you for what you
haven't been able to done to fulfilled
for them. Okay. They would blame you
that you are enable that you are
incapable. Okay. They make you feel small.
small.
That's the first type
emotional mind game. Okay. Second type
they victimize themselves. That is the
themsel in distress.
how they make themselves feel so weak.
they make themselves feel like they need
your help and they need your rescue
and so you would go for that right but
either way I'm telling you type one type
two what they want is they want to
control you they want to control you
emotionally okay so that is what it is
because you see the world is duality
okay duality that's why there are two
types it's either go violence or go self victimization
victimization
but either way they just want control
why because they both insecure. Both
types are insecure and insecure women
they are not able to stand on their own
feet emotionally speaking. No. That's
why they want to project. That's why
they project onto men and they want to
blame men and they want to control men
emotionally. And that's why men would be
very scared of women who
are emotionally unstable but they at the
same time very attracted to them. But
they would be usually more attracted to
the dmsel in distress because the dmsel
in distress seems soft.
But mind you, the softer one doesn't
mean that they're not toxic. They are
equally toxic as the one who express
violently. Be it is aggression or
passive aggression. Okay? So two types
same thing. They just want control over
you emotionally. They want control over
you emotion mind. I'm not saying that
they intentionally do this. It is
something that they don't even
understand that they're doing but they
are already playing the program that
they have picked up from since
childhood. They might see their moms
doing it. They might see their sisters
doing it. They might see the feminine
energies in their household doing it.
And they just playing the patterns.
Okay. So now for the white knights,
why would you be attracted to women like
this? Because your mothers could be this
way. either your that's why I said it's
two extremes right your mothers your
mothers it could either be the type one
or type two it does not matter but if
you do have a type three kind of mother
this woman would be secure the the type
of woman that is securely attached they
do not go either to type one or type two
like no violence nor self victimization
they simply be themselves okay they
simply stand their own ground they are
self-sufficient emotionally. Doesn't
have to be financially speaking, but
they can also make their own money if
they want to. But they can just choose
not to because their husbands can do so
for them. Okay? But it doesn't mean that
they feel small. They don't they would
not feel insecure even if their husbands
leave them. They would simply
understand, okay, this is a situation
and so now I'm going to just going to
deal with it and I'm going to make my
life even better.
Okay. Now this is what
what
self safety like self in self security
looks like. They do they wouldn't blame
type three kind of women they do not
blame first right first type they blame
type three women would not even
self-lame would not even self victimize
so that's type two right so what type
three women would do is they would
understand the situation as it is and
simply do the right thing for making
their lives better
and not um
you know staying in any situations that
is not even for their well-being.
All right, that is operating from self-
loveve and selfrespect
because you see if the type one women
and the type two women none of them
actually respect themselves. One would
have to blame other people so to avoid
seeing their own insecurity. Type two,
they have to self victimize so to have
someone to save them. That means they
don't even acknowledge their own dignity
that they can actually save themselves
and fix their own problems. You see that
is there's none there's no self-respect
whatsoever in either type one or type two
two
and that is duality. And the third type
is the non-dual one, the standard one.
So if you ever meet any woman in your
life that demonstrates signs or symptoms
of type one or type two, be aware. I'm
not saying that they are bad people. I'm
not I'm not saying that these women are
bad people. I'm just saying that be
aware because you could be your white
knight, your knight in shining armor
kind of a syndrome or or like a your
programming would be activated once you
meet women like this because you have
been exposed to women like this since childhood
childhood
and you feel that need that instinct to
protect them because of programming
because of what you what you possibly
saw how other men treated your mother or
your sisters or the women in your
community. Okay? Whatever it is, and
that's what men should do. That's what
you think. That's what you learned.
But I hope what I expressed to you here
brings certain insights to your um
understanding of what you need to protect
protect is
is
someone who knows their own worth.
Not someone who wants to play with
another person's worth
to control through control and manipulation.
manipulation.
Okay. And I'm not at the same time I
wanted to clarify that I'm not I'm not
demonizing women who do this. I also
want to speak for them. That is many of
them are
very broken.
They are very broken. And usually how
damsel in distress are formed these I
mean such an archetype how is it formed
is usually because they again duality
cause potent the highest potential
causes two there are two first they
either have a very controlling father
figure or household very controlling
okay father figure or
um they don't have a father figure in
their lives at all like a very absent
father figure.
Okay. Why? It means either when it comes
to the extreme when they have a very
strong controlling father figure in
their life since childhood or even just
a household. Okay. Household because
father figures can be actually it
basically means structure structure.
Okay. So if they have a very controlled
environment, very controlling environment
environment
whereas in childhood they would then
become what?
Like literally disabled?
Disabled because they can't do this,
they can't do that, they can't do this,
they can't do that. And maybe maybe they
um they would also experience a lot of denial.
denial.
So it means that you can't do this, you
can't do this, you are not this, you are
not that. No, I don't agree with you. So
they don't have this self-worth.
self-worth.
They don't they don't have this
self-worth. And when they don't have
this self worth, it means that they
don't actually know who they are.
All right? So they are already being
misaligned to their authentic self.
Now when it comes to someone who doesn't
have a strong father figure or they
don't even have much structures in their
life since childhood. Um so the father
figure could be very absent absent.
It could even be someone who um
it could be they their orphans. Okay.
They're orphans or whatever it is. What
usually could happen is because of such
a situation
they don't have the necessary structure
to help them
to build to understand to
stand on their own feet to even stand
up. Okay? Like they don't have these
structures to help them to guide them to
grow into which direction.
Does it make sense? They don't have this
guidance, guiding forces to help them to
grow into where should I grow. So what
does it mean? It means they are very
scattered. The first type from the very
controlling household, they would not be
scattered in that sense, but they would
be scattered in their own identity.
Okay? Because they're being very
controlled and suppressed.
They they would usually become um in a
sense rebellious like like you know who
Juliet Romeo and Juliet like Juliet she
would become so rebellious you know in a
sense but rebellious in love like she
wants that person she wants Romeo she's
in a very controlling household in a
sense you know she's rich she's born in
a rich family and she there are so many
rules you know uh and And she
her only thing literally I think is is
just to be pretty just to be pretty
right. She doesn't have much to do uh in
a sense. But I mean
they this this woman this Juliet is very
like a princess-like
princess like a princess. A princess
okay like a princess. So they're very
weak. I can't do this. I can't do that
because the servants are doing all of
this for me. Okay, so this is what
usually people might say as princesses,
you know, in modern terms or baby girls.
Okay, so now the first type is actually
more of a princess. The second type is
more baby girl.
Does it make sense? And men loves this.
Men love these two types. Um why?
because they because when men,
you know, uh the reason that men most
men, okay, most men are attracted to
these two types um is because
they feel like kings. They feel like I'm
so strong. I can rescue the princess. I
can, you know, be the sugar daddy to the
baby girl. I can just, you know, I can
just help her and I feel good because I
feel masculine. I feel like a man. Now,
that's okay. I'm not saying that's bad.
That's not I'm not saying this is good
or bad. It's just that be aware of why
you are attracted to such toxic archetypes.
archetypes.
Because if you are attracted to toxic
archetypes, it means that there is a
toxicity in you that resonates with that toxic
toxic archetypes.
archetypes.
Okay? It's always a
matching system. If only you are
if you if only you have such a toxic
pattern within yourself, only then you
would attract two a toxic pattern like that.
that.
Okay? Like why would you be attracted to that?
that?
Usually why men would be attracted to
such women
is exactly what I already mentioned is
because of certain women in your early
childhood maybe or like your teenage
years or your household upbringing.
There are certain women like this
or you have been taught that men should
protect all women uh or
weak women or people in need, right? But
there are also certain men or people
just in general. It doesn't even have to
be men. It could be also women who would
be in the archetype of of of white
knight um and al basically knights in
shining armor. Yes. because I have been one.
one.
Yes. That's why I'm speaking I'm
speaking from experience. No, you know
what? Now, we've talked about the
emotional manipulation, you know, and
also the the two types of it, violence
and um self victimization, right? And
also type three, which would be the one
that's non-dual. And then we've already
talked about how damress is formed. Two
types, right? Uh one would be the
princess. Um second one would be baby girl.
girl. So
So
um the you know this part is last last
part I just want to point out that why
would I speak on this um
um
where how how from where do I speak on
this because first of all I have been
the white knight and second of all I
okay so
aha okay now I've experienced both sides
and I want to tell you that
no, these are not healthy.
Only if you see my my my role here, my
some one of my duties is to experience
so many different kind of art archetypes
and just to understand what is playing
out and how people feel and how could
people even get into such
mind mentalities. Now the
the white knight uh thing and also the
damsel in distress archetypes. Now both
both are archetypes, right? These are
simply mindsets mentalities. They are
not forever. They're not forever. They
are they only they only exist when
uh we have certain toxic patterns that
we have not been able to heal yet.
Okay. So once the the toxic patterns
related to such archetypes, these two
archetypes are healed, you would not be
operating in the white knight nor the
damsel in distress anymore.
Okay? Basically, you center yourself.
That's what I'm trying to say. That's
what I'm trying to suggest.
If you um
are white knight, now I'm speaking from
personal experience. For me, I would be
the white knight when I see people
uh in need of help and they
they
they seem to be so, you know, um
helpless and they they it's so like so
sad, you know, because I I do and I
don't want to see people sad in a sense,
but it's only when I realize that, oh,
they actually deserve of that. Now, I'm
not I'm not being cold-hearted. It's the
reason is
they I'm talking about them so in
distress now because I'm like in a row
of white knight, right? I later realized
that oh well okay so these people
they love taking shortcuts
they love taking shortcuts. They love
taking shortcuts
and that's how they get into such a
state today.
That's why they in distress
because they're not playing their game
right for themselves.
They actually
just want to rely on other people. So
what does it mean that's parasitic?
That's parasitic.
You know in ecology
in ecology there are three types of
symbiotic relationships.
Now we're talking about biology but it
is because it's symbiotic relationships.
It describes how uh the different kind
of species
interact with each other and
the relationships
are being coined being termed or defined
in these three ways in the following
three ways. The first one is mutualism.
So mutualism is very self-explanatory,
right? It's simply that you guys both
benefit from such relationship from such
uh interaction. It's just as how like uh
bees and flowers the bees p uh take the
poland uh from the flower and you know
spread around and so the flowers could
you know reproduce you know uh have have their
their
offspring so to speak right uh because
of the bees and the bees take the
pollins to make the honey all right so
that's mutualism
now in the second one is commensalism
commensalism means one gets benefit and
the other one is like me, I'm fine. It
doesn't really matter to me. Okay, so
that would be an example of it would be
like um
um oh like maybe like a maybe like a frog
frog
uh on the top of a turtle or on the top
of a hippo and the hippo doesn't even
realize that uh and the frog is just
taking a ride on the back of the hippo
as the tippo is like as the hippo swims
across the river. Does it make sense?
Okay. So this is like the there's no
harm there but the frog gets benefit
from taking a ride on the back of the
hippole. All right. Just another
example. Now for the third one is called
you name it parasetism. Yes parasetism.
So that's about parasites.
What does parasites do? One gets harmed
and the other gets benefit. And the the
one get the one gets benefit is the parasite.
parasite.
Now the symbolic relationships in
ecology can actually we can actually
take this as a reference for our own relationships.
relationships.
Yes, it's the same thing because we are
also species. Humanity is also animals
in a sense, right? So we also type of
species. We are also we also have all
types of relationships, right? And so we
can literally take notes from ecology
seeing into how our relationships are
affecting us in our own lives. And so do
your relationships have mutualism
mostly or mostly parasitism or
commensalism? So that's your take,
right? You have to check it out for yourself.
yourself.
And so now as a white knight myself
when I was okay like I I sometimes I
would have to remind myself as well and
I would say it's
sad to see people going through
hardships but then once I realized that
oh actually they deserve it because they
do need to go through this hardship so
to grow into a better version of
themselves and then I would just leave
them alone. I would give them certain
guidance or certain things that they
would need
and just enough for them to understand
that I'm not here to give you my whole
plate. I'm here to let you know that
yes, I do care and love you and support
you, but you got to stand on your own feet.
feet.
Yep. That's it. Got to set boundaries.
If they cry, if they feel so helpless
and stuff,
let them
let them. Because what women usually
would do with their tears is to get you
guilt tripped.
Especially for men, okay? Get you guilt
trip. And what usually what men would do
is they either would shut down, leave
the room, uh go out and disappear, or
they would stay in the room and try to
comfort the women. And then usually they
will just give in. So these are two ways
right? Two types. Now the third type
what you can do in a non-dual way when
it comes to women who just try to
emotionally guilt trip you uh using
their tears
that usually this like self
victimization. Okay. But some women
might do it like the combination of type
one and type two. So they would kind of
like blame you first and then they would
burst into tears and then you feel guilt
trip and you also feel like you are the
you you're the bad guy now, right?
because of their tears. So what you
could do in this situation is that
use your r use your rationality right
now man. Man up and use use your rationality.
rationality.
Don't get emotional with them because
they are being very emotional. Just be
calm. Do not leave the room yet. stay in
the room and tell her in her face that
okay, I understand you're going through
a hard time and I understand that um you
might not feel comfortable at this moment,
moment,
but I see it would be the best for us to
calm down first before we talk.
If she screams at you more,
just leave the room.
Just leave the room. Your well-being is
much more important than hers at this
moment. Just leave the room. Yeah. You
don't need to spend any more of of your
time with people who can't even control
their own emotions because that is not
your responsibility. My dear friends, be
you are a woman or a man. Please do not
put your life at stake at such a
situation and then you just like
looking back you would be like why would
I even stay in that situation? Right?
Okay. So be calm, be rational and state
whatever necessary needs to be stated in
that particular time. Do not react. Do
not react. Do not react because what
women sometimes want to do or not I
wouldn't I I shouldn't even label women.
I would say emotionally
um emotionally aggressive people do. Uh
what they will do usually is just to
want to trigger your emotion. They want
an emotional reaction from you. They
don't want an emotional response from
you. They want an emotional reaction
from you. It means that they want you to become
become
in their state of mind that you also
feel triggered, that you also feel
angered, that you also want to fight
with her. And that's exactly what she
wants or they want. Okay? like not it
doesn't have to be just women. So
um because why? Because once you get
angry or once you get triggered this
means that you're already emotionally
entangled and attached to her. So the
more such fight such emotional
attachment emotional entanglement that
you have with such a person the more
that you feel like you are more unable
to get out of this situation. Okay. So
the way here is to not react. Do not react.
react.
State rationally and just leave the situation
situation
because that person is is responsible
for whatever he or she does. Now this is
like the dam in distress, right? Just
just take this is for taking care of the
emotional interaction when it comes to
damsel in distress. They can cry as they
give her a moment, you know. I mean, you
you can stay with her. I don't I don't
know because sometimes men, you really
have this kind of protective instinct.
You really can't leave her alone. I
think you would feel like you are such a
horrible person, such a horrible man if
you leave a woman who is crying, right?
Yeah, I do understand. But if it happens
over and over again, give it like five
times, please. You're done. Like, you're
done with it. Just don't fall into this
kind of anymore. I'm a woman. I'm
saying this. Don't fall into this
Don't fall into this Yeah. So, I'm
sort of man. I'm like a man like white
night. Um, yeah. Don't do this. Like now
speaking from the perspective of damsel
in distress like if when I was in the
damsel in distress I wouldn't say I'm
like a severe one but I have tasted it
uh being kind of like a damsel in distress.
distress.
Now I would have to say that sometimes
I needed help
for Yes. for something. I really need
help. And I was actually quite helpless.
I was helpless.
I felt so helpless. And
it was kind of a complicated situation.
But but all in all, I just want to say
yes, I fixed it.
That's it. I just want to tell you that
like it's 2025.
Women, go fix your I fixed mine.
Go queens.
Did I try to ask for help? Yes.
But from friends, you know, from people
I felt the energy of being in damsel in
distress, but I chose not to be dam.
It's a choice.
It's a choice. That's what I want to say.
say.
It's a choice that I choose to grow. I
choose to outgrow myself, my old versions.
versions.
It's a choice. It's always a choice.
It's so much easier to find a man to
lean on to, you know, to to to to just
help me, please. I really need help. Can
you please help me?
So much easier. It's very easy. But it
doesn't mean that we it does not mean
that we can't ask for help from people.
No. But before we ask for help, please
consider helping oneself first
because that is the exact lesson that
dms souls in distress have to learn. All
the dam souls, you have to learn to
stand on your own feet and help yourself
and fix your goddamn problems.
It doesn't mean that you can't you can't
ask men for help. No, you can.
But do not manipulate men. Don't try to
control them emotionally
just because you don't want to work.
Just because you want to be lazy.
When I say lazy, it doesn't mean that you
you
you you don't want to, you know, you
don't want to have a job. I don't mean
this lazy. I mean you are lazy about
taking good care of yourself,
your own well-being, your own growth.
That's what I mean by lazy. I don't mean
that. I don't mean the kind of lazy that
you just want to chill and uh snack and
Netflix. I don't mean this kind of lazy.
That's life.
That's life. That's like literally like
what we need sometimes for
entertainment. Okay. I don't mean this
kind of lazy. The kind of lazy that I'm
trying to say is you're not taking
responsibilities for your own growth.
You're not taking responsibility for
your own problems that you actually
personal development. End of story. So
that's what I want to say to all the men
and women if you ever come across this video.
video.
I just want to let you know that if you
are not
um attracted to any toxic patterns is
because you do not have the toxic
patterns in yourself. And if you do if
you and if you are actually attracted to
any kind of toxic patterns, look within
because yeah, very likely you do have a
toxic pattern that is matching up with
that one.
Okay, so thank you so much for listening.
listening.
It is it I just have to do this video
and uh I was thinking to myself like
should I actually say it?
But yeah, I think I made the right
decision. Hope you enjoy it and I will
see you in the next one. Thank you so
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