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Low Self Esteem In Women - Why Women Have Lower Self-Esteem Than Men | Actualized.org | YouTubeToText
YouTube Transcript: Low Self Esteem In Women - Why Women Have Lower Self-Esteem Than Men
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This video explores the reasons why women tend to experience lower self-esteem than men, attributing it to cultural conditioning and inherent physiological differences that can lead to a diminished sense of self-efficacy.
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hey this is Leo for actualized.org and
in this video I want to talk about low
self-esteem in [Music]
[Music]
women all right let's talk about low
self-esteem especially low self-esteem
in women so I have another video that
I'm going to link down below it's called
self-esteem that's kind of my
fundamental introductory video about
what self-esteem is and I go into a lot
of depth there about the details of
self-esteem here I'm not going to do
that I'm more interested in the question
of why do women tend to have more
self-esteem issues than men do to me
that was curious and I started to look
into that and ask myself questions about
why this is and I want to share some of
my thoughts there with you so that you
can get more understanding if you're a
woman about where this is coming from
and maybe even if you're a man and you
have women in your life that have this
problem you can also understand where
they're coming from so to get this
discussion grounded we need to talk a
little bit about self-esteem I'm just
going to do a recap of the definition of
self-esteem self-esteem has two
components to it you've got
self-efficacy and self-respect
self-efficacy simply means that you have
the ability to think and direct your own
life so it's how much power do you feel
you have over the circumstances in your
life that's self-efficacy and
self-respect is believing that you have
inherent value in yourself and you have
a right to be happy so when you have
both these components working together
then you have high self-esteem if either
one of these components is
malfunctioning or both of them are
eroded then you have very low
self-esteem now what I tend to find is
that women struggle with self-esteem
more than men this is a generalization
this doesn't mean a woman can't have
high self-esteem this doesn't mean that
there aren't women who have much higher
self-esteem than men it's certainly the
case many men have self-esteem issues
but with women it tends to be more of a
problem and for them not only is it a
problem on the inside it tends to
manifest itself in a problem on the
outside in dysfunctional relationships
this tends to create a certain level of
codependency and it makes you an
unassertive doormat and then basically
men tend to come and walk all over you
so why is this happening if it's
happening to you how can we get an
understanding of why this is happening with
with
women well I think if you look at this
definition self-efficacy self-respect
the self-efficacy part especially this
is your ability to control and direct
life well how is that
developed well the way that's developed
in boys and in girls is a little bit
different so let's take a look at some
of the cultural underpinnings here I
think the culture has a lot to do with
why this uh this disparity exists so
when a boy is growing up in our culture
then he is told to do what as parents
they put him into sports and other
aggressive activities the boy is told
that he's going to have a career and a
business and he needs to make money and
he needs to provide for his future
family potentially and so the boy is
always taught to compete to fight that's
a very masculine type of energy right that
that
competitive competitive fighting that
men do with each other so that's going
on with the boys with the girls what's
happening well it's not quite the same
right they don't have those sorts of
pressures put on them it's more about
being nurturing and loving and being
girly and then putting that and
investing it into a relationship into a
family so women are more about
relationships and Families
not so much about going out there and
conquering the world although there are
many women that are good at that and so
um I'm in no way discouraging it or
saying that there's anything wrong with
it but that just tends to be the general
Trend right well what happens if you're
always exerting this masculine energy
and you're always out there kind of
pushing the boundaries of the world what
do you think happens to you well what
happens is that you encounter challenge
you encounter resistance and if you've
got this kind of motive to just like
bust bust bust bust through it then you
learn a lot and you learn fast this is
how rapid Learning Happens is you
immerse yourself you throw yourself into
a tough situation then you have to just
kind of struggle your way out this is
for example how a military boot camp
works right you take a grunt recruit who
knows nothing about the military has no
discipline you throw him into a couple
week boot camp and all of a sudden he
comes out like a real like a real
go-getter a real Soldier right uh and
why is this happening because he's put
under enormous enormous pressure and he
learns very very fast the is extremely
good at learning when it's under
pressure now the human being and the
human mind is is the opposite when it's
not under pressure he tends to kind of
doze off and be a little lazy and tends to
to
backslide and so here's what's going on
I think this is what's happening is that
with boys they're out there competing
all the time so they develop a very
strong sense of self-efficacy because
you know they're trying stuff they're
failing they're they're learning how the
world works and they get like a real uh
sense of ownership over the world they
feel like they have the World by the
balls with a woman it's not quite so
much I mean women do that on their own
terms and some women are out there doing
uh masculine type things and that will
build them self efficacy but then a lot
of women aren't doing that a lot of
women are playing second fiddle to
somebody else in their life whether it's
to their family or to the man in her
relationship and so she's she's always
playing second fiddle or taking the back
seat as it were um and he's the one
driving and so when this tends to happen
and it happens for a long periods of
time what happens is that your brain
literally starts to turn to Mush it
starts to kind of atrophy it's kind of
like muscles if you don't use your
muscles they atrophy and that's what's
happening and your self-efficacy erodes
because when you're not out there
challenging yourself and doing stuff if
you're sitting at home if you're locked
up if you're cooped up if you're not
really out there in the world living on
your Edge then you're like really in
your comfort zone and that tends to
build a very very big rut and as that
rut is building your self-efficacy is
eroding and eroding and eroding and you
feel like you can't really control the
world you feel like you become a victim
so that is I think that's like the
underlying thread here is that this is
what's going on I think also there are
some physiological differences right so
this is not just purely cultural
conditioning there's biological
differences so it's more natural for a
man to go out there and compete that's
masculine energy for a woman being in
relationships and being submissive
that's also more natural that's feminine
energy and uh and you can see how that
can lead to certain disadvantages I mean
guys have their own set of disadvantages
that they have I'm not talking about
that here I'll have other videos about
that here we're just focusing on women
so the the disadvantage with with being
uh with being very feminine like that
and being very submissive is that you
tend to take the back seat and you don't
have a lot of control you feel like
you're a victim in stuff if stuff isn't
going your way then you just tend to
tolerate it that tends to be your coping
strategy it's just like tolerate
tolerating and bearing it and just kind
of like suffering through it whereas a
man tends to like not put up with that
as much so part of that is the pH
physiology women are more compassionate
more nurturing and these are amazing
qualities but they also have some
disadvantages um there's also amazing
qualities that men have that also have
their own disadvantages so every
strength tends to have also kind of a
little weakness behind it it's like two
sides of the same coin and so for women
I think it's especially challenging
because they need to on the one hand
maintain their femininity that's
important to a woman a feminine woman
feels like her authentic self so that's important
important
but at the same time this femininity it
can't just be like this passive do
whatever you will with me I'm going to
be a doormat it needs to be more like
I'm still on my Edge I'm still doing my
own things but I'm doing them in a
feminine way you have to be as a woman
active and confident and out there
living your Edge but in a feminine way
do it in a way that feels natural to you
as a
woman not the way a man would but if you
do that then you will build up that
self-efficacy too you just need to be
constantly pushing yourself and
challenging yourself in your own ways
and that might be very different than
they would be for a man maybe for you
that's really like working on the family
working on the relationship um doing
whatever feminine things that you like
to do but like still pushing yourself in
those areas don't just become uh very
passive when you become very passive and
meek then that's what starts to make
that atrophy process happen and when
that's happening then that leads to all
sorts of problems most importantly it's
going to lead to dysfunctional
relationships it's going to create
codependency it's going to create the
cycle of bad relationships it's also
going to make you feel very powerless in
your life and that's not what we want
for you here at as.org it's all about
self-actualization and for women
self-actualization is equally as
important as it is for a man because
that's where those higher feelings you
know that's where those higher values of
yours are as a woman yours are just
going to be different than a man's and
that's all right but you got to make
sure that you're always always on the
edge always pushing your comfort zone always
always
growing that is what's the key all right
so this is Leo this is what I have to
say about women and low self-esteem I'm
going to be signing off go ahead and
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aware of what's going on here and then
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