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How To Build Self-Esteem - The Triple Column Technique (CBT) | Just Passing Time | YouTubeToText
YouTube Transcript: How To Build Self-Esteem - The Triple Column Technique (CBT)
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Video Summary
Summary
Core Theme
Low self-esteem, often rooted in childhood and amplified by negative self-talk and cognitive distortions, can be effectively challenged and improved by consciously identifying and reframing these critical thoughts using a structured method.
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we all have times when we lack confidence
confidence
and we do not feel good about ourselves
but when low self-esteem becomes a
long-term problem
it can have a harmful effect on our
mental health and our day-to-day lives
when our self-esteem is low we tend to
see ourselves and our life
in a more negative and critical light
you may feel defeated defective deserted
and deprived having a low self-image or self-worth
self-worth
can actually transform something
seemingly trivial into something overwhelming
overwhelming
and sadly you may be so relentless and
persuasive in your belief that you are defective
defective
that you may even start to convince your
friends and family that this is actually true
true
low self-esteem often begins in
childhood our parents siblings friends
and social media
send us positive and negative messages
about ourselves
negative emotions can often seem to
stick more than the positive ones
and you may begin to find it difficult
living up to the expectations that you
perceive others have
of you so how do you deal with this
you challenge it you talk back to that
internal critic
this sense of worthlessness is created
by your self-critical
dialogue i'm useless nobody likes me i
can't do anything right
this feeds into that sense of despair
and hopelessness
david burns a professor of the
department of psychiatry and behavioral
sciences at stanford university
wrote about the triple column method in
his book feeling good the new mood therapy
therapy
this is a surprisingly simple yet
surprisingly effective tool to change
the way that you feel about yourself
the fundamental belief of cognitive
behavioral therapy
is that your taught determine your
actions because of this
is important that you align your values
and beliefs that will best serve you in life
life
your beliefs become your thoughts your
thoughts become your words
your words become your actions your
actions become your habits
your habits become your values and your
values become your destiny
mahatma gandhi there are three main
steps to the triple column method
step 1 train yourself to recognize and
write down the self-critical thoughts
as they go through your mind step two learning
learning
why these thoughts are distorted and
step three is to practice talking back
to them so you can develop a more
resilient self-image
to create a table for a triple column
technique you simply draw two lines down
the center of a piece of paper
and divide it into turrets you label the
left-hand column
automatic thoughts or self-criticism
you label the middle column cognitive distortion
distortion
and then you label the right hand column
rational response or
self-defense in the left-hand column or
the automatic thoughts column
you write down all the hurtful
self-criticisms you make when you are
feeling worthless and down on yourself
in the middle column you try to identify
and write down the cognitive distortions
of your self-criticisms
cognitive distortions are simple ways
that our mind tries to convince
us that something that isn't really true is
is
these are inaccurate thoughts and are
usually used to reinforce negative thinking
thinking
or emotions there are 10 main cognitive
distortions in cognitive behavioral therapy
therapy
and i go into these in much more detail
in my video cognitive distortions
which i will link here and also in the
video description
but here's a quick overview mental
filtering is when we focus exclusively
on the most negative and upsetting
features of a situation
filtering out all the more positive
aspects of it
all or nothing thinking is when we see
things purely in black or white
these types of thoughts are
characterized by terms such as always
every or never everything is seen as
either good or bad
or success or failure over generalization
generalization
is when we see a single unpleasant
incident or event
as evidence of everything being awful
and negative
and a sign that now everything will go wrong
wrong
individuals thinking in shoulds odds or
must have an iron-clad view of how they
and others should and ought to be
these rigid views or rules can generate
feelings of anger
frustration resentment disappointment
and guilt if not followed
reasoning is when we assume feelings
reflect fact
regardless of the evidence the idea here
is i feel
therefore it must be true such thinking
can lead to self-fulfilling prophecies
whereby thoughts can end up eliciting
the very behavior we predicted
a person engaging in personalization
will automatically assume the responsibility
responsibility
and blame for negative events that are
not under their control
this is also called the mother of guilt
because of the feelings of guilt
shame and inadequacy that it leads to
thinking in a magnifying or minimizing
manner is when we exaggerate the
importance of the negative events
and minimize or downplay the importance
of the positive events
disqualifying the positive is when we
continually discount and dismiss the
positive experiences we encounter
by deciding they are unimportant or
don't count
labeling is an extreme form of
all-nothing thinking and over-generalization
over-generalization
rather than describing a specific
behavior an individual instead assigns a
negative and highly emotive label to themselves
themselves
or others that can leave no room for change
change
an individual who jumps to conclusions
will often make a negative
interpretation or prediction even though
there is no evidence to support their conclusion
conclusion
it can show up as either mind reading or
fortune telling
once you've identified the cognitive
distortion or distortions
we move into the right hand column which
is the rational response or
self-defense column this is where you
talk back
and defend yourself against the criticisms
criticisms
what you're essentially saying here is
why this isn't true or
why it doesn't matter with cognitive
behavioral therapy you are learning to
use rational
intentional talk between an emotional
and an impulsive
self-defeating reaction in learning to
do this you will develop the habit of
testing the validity of your own thoughts
thoughts
and challenging the significance of the
negative outcomes of your fears
let's take an example say you're late
for something important
you feel your heart beating faster and
you start to panic
ask yourself what thoughts are going
through your mind right now what are you
saying to yourself
why is this upsetting you write these
down in the left hand column
using the list of cognitive distortions
that i outline try to identify
what the negative thought pattern is
so i'm always late is over
generalization for example
then in the final column you might
respond with something
rational like i'm not always lit i'm
mostly on time
if i'd like to be late less often i'll
work on developing methods to be more punctual
punctual
maybe i'll leave a bit earlier if you
feel you can't take of a rational
response that's fine
just forget about it for a while and
when you come back to it you'll be able
to think more rationally
an important thing here though is not
just to put in words that describe your
mood or emotional reaction
only put in the toss that created that
emotional reaction
in the automatic thoughts column for example
example
if we take the running late example
again don't just write i feel like crap
because that's essentially true you do
feel like crap
this is what we're trying to solve
instead write down the thought that led
to you
feeling like crap let's say it was i
will look foolish when i arrive
write that down identify the cognitive
distortion which is labeling or
fortunate telling
then respond with the rational thought
it may be something like
yeah it would have been better to leave
earlier but i'm not stupid
life is unpredictable and things happen
i'm not a fool for being late
everyone is late sometimes burns
suggests that
working through this simple triple
column technique every day for 15
minutes each day
that it will become easier and easier to
do and that this
self-defensive rational thought will
become more and more intuitive for you
it's okay if you're having trouble at
first thinking of a rational response
you can always step back from it or even
ask someone else what their answer would
be to this particular negative thought
so to summarize how then do you develop
a sense of self-esteem
well the answer is you don't have to you
don't have to do anything especially
wordy to create or deserve self-esteem
all you have to do is to turn off that
critical arguing
inner voice because it is that arguing
inner voice that is wrong you can use
the triple column technique to really
zero in on those
automatic thoughts then write them down
writing things down can make things
tangible which helps to deal with them
learning the different cognitive
distortions will allow you to go through
each of these criticisms
and identify the negative thinking once identified
identified
you can substitute this distorted
thought with a more objective
rational thought you will then be
boosting your self-esteem and you'll
start to feel better
and better if you enjoyed this video why
not leave a like or comment below it
really does help the channel a lot
you might also want to check out some of
my other videos and maybe subscribe if
you'd like to see more of these style of videos
videos
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