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How to Write Like GRRM + NEW WINDS CHAPTER

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This analysis delves into the distinctive prose style of George R.R. Martin by examining his word choices, narrative techniques, and editing discipline, revealing both consistent strengths and areas where his writing has become less concise over time.

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Hello everybody, John Greenwood here.

Today we're diving into what makes

George RR Martin's voice distinctive. So

we're looking at the nuts and bolts of

his pro style. I've done a statistical

analysis of his work, examined how his

processes kind of changed over time, and

I've also provided a sort of

step-by-step uh methodology for uh

replicating one of the most uh georgy

things in A Song of Ice and Fire. And

I've even written a sample chapter for

the winds of winter to test if these

methods actually produce something that

gets you part of the way there. So let's

get started uh with uh part one which is

the big picture. Here we are looking at

Latin versus German words. And I'm going

to tell you why. So instead of just

counting the frequency of words used,

whether Martin uses a word or not, you

want to actually look at the roots of

his word. Where does he get his words

from? Because counting the frequency of

the words that he has previously used

can't predict what words he might use in

the future. uh instead if you look at

Latin versus dramatic words, you can get

a much easier sense of which words he is

going to use and which words he isn't

going to use without doing the word

frequency analysis and you can more

easily predict what types of words that

George is going to use in the future. So

I did a statistical analysis of the

linguistic roots of Martin's vocabulary.

You could go a step further by reading

the books that he reads. So he reads uh

the ancient Greeks. He also reads uh

Jack Vance a lot. He read Ursula Lein.

Um these are the sorts of people that he

reads and he's very open about uh who he

reads. So, you know, the phrase, if

you've ever heard it, you are what you

eat is especially true with writers and

I think it really pops through on the

page uh George's influences, but I just

kind of looked at Latin versus dramatic

words. To do this, I looked at 21

different chapters across the series

from early Game of Thrones to late Dance

with Dragons to get a fair spread. Uh, I

used a program to identify words with

Latin or Germanic roots, excluding, you

know, the madeup names that George

invented and common stop words like the

and is because those pollute the data

because you're going to be using them

whether or not you're you have more of a

Latin or a German uh leaning. you you

just can't speak English without you

know uh that would be quite a challenge

and it would not be natural English. The

results are that Martin's pros is

remarkably consistent. Most chapters

fall between 12 to 15% Latin density,

meaning they are 12 to 15% Latin. So his

baseline word choice hasn't really

changed in 15 years. What does vary is

uh character and situation. So there's

two general bands of Latin density in

his books. There's the high band and the

low band. The high band sits at 15 to

17%. This is Daener's ruling in marine.

Uh basically any Tyrion chapter and most

Ned chapters. So all of these characters

and situations are involving rulers and

schemers and high lords dealing with

politics and abstract ideas and the

formalities of court. So higher Latin

usage is a lot more appropriate in those

situations. And then with the lower band

you have 10 to 13% Latin usually more

around 12%. This is Bran, John and Arya

and Davos. Uh these characters are

grounded in the physical world uh and

the world of survival and nature and the

wall and like tangible action. Uh, the

most notable outlier that I was able to

see in the whole series is Daener's 10,

Advance with Dragons, the infamous

brown water. She drank the water and

then had the, you know, that chapter. It

uh, sits at 9.66% 66%

Latin. So it is significantly more

German than all of his other chapters,

especially Daenerys's chapters. So after

several books and several chapters of

Daenerys using a more Latin voice in

Meereen and a more formal voice in both

the things that she's verbally saying

and you know in her own mind thinking

this drop in Latin concentration signals

a shift to something like earthier and

more honest. It's it's saying that

Daenerys was like, you know, putting on

a show. This wasn't really who she is.

And now she's turning to something a lot

more honest. When you actually look at

the language composition of it, a drop

of nearly 10% Latin use is just

absolutely massive. Uh that's bigger

than the difference between George R.

Martin and J.R.R. Token, which was the

next topic that I was going to get to.

um you know these these percentages just

when you've got them in the void uh you

can't really make any meaning out of

them. You you have to have something to

compare them to. So JR Tolken who wrote

the Lord of the Rings famously actively

avoided Latin to create what he thought

of as an Anglo-Saxon mythology. Um he

wanted something that feels uniquely old

and British and not Latin. So his pros

is roughly 6% Latin which is half of

George R. Martin's typical usage. So the

difference between Daenerys's uh usual

chapters like 15 maybe 17% and her

latest chapter which is 10%. This is the

difference between George RR Martin and

JR Token. Like it is a massive huge

shift in in how the chapter feels. Just

to give another point of comparison, I I

didn't really have anybody else on hand

who was easily available to, you know,

do the computer analysis. I used my own

writing because I'm I'm pretty much a

nobody. So, I I felt it was more fair to

use me instead of like somebody who's

legendary. Uh my own writing shows

basically two different writing voices.

I have my academic writing voice which I

use for you know papers and submissions

to the court and my video scripts which

runs at about 50 to 68% Latin. And so

this is you know very formal analytical

writing. My creative writing ranges from

15 to 23% Latin for fantasy which is

appropriate to the usual figure for

fantasy. 35 to 38% for sci-fi, which

reflects more of the subject matter of

sci-fi because you can't really talk

about computers without using Latin

words. And my poetry is about 20% Latin,

which is uh probably the closest

expression that you can get to to the

words that I use uh in my subconscious.

For context, most native English

speakers write their natural pros around

25 to 30% Latin. I'd say more along the

lines of 25%.

So Martin's 12 to 15 is lower than

normal and it's deliberately grounded to

be more accessible. The reason that

Latin density matters is because English

uses a mix of Germanic, Latin, French,

and Greek roots, mainly Germanic and

Latin. And how and when we use these

words depends on cultural expectations

and context. So although everybody is a

little bit different and we all have our

own preferences, just for reference as a

native English speaker, personally

speaking, if written pros is too

Germanic, like tokens 6% Latinate use,

the text can feel artificial and clunky

to modern readers, as if every word was

deliberately replaced from a thesaurus

to get rid of the Latin word. Uh, which

is probably exactly what Tolken did. Um,

although maybe he didn't use a

thesaurus. was a English professor after

all. So, uh if something is too Latin

that's like around 40% or higher then it

can feel abstract, stiff or pretentious

unless the context calls for it. So, um

the contexts that would call for using a

lot of Latin would be legal documents,

academic papers, and formal speeches.

uh we use Latin vocabulary to signal

seriousness and that what you're saying

is formal. So when somebody is

negotiating a treaty for example, they

will use words like sovereign and

hegeimon and jurisdiction

um and in a legal context it signals to

pay attention. This is important. Um and

lawyers consciously use this kind of

language uh because it signals to the

court that the person who was using this

language understands that what they were

saying is legally binding and they were

using this very formal language to be

incredibly precise with their words so

that the court interprets things in a

certain way. So Martin understands uh

when to deploy Latin language and when

to use more dramatic language and when

to stay grounded. So moving beyond the

linguistic roots, we can now look a bit

more laser focused on the actual words

on the page. Uh the pros part of the

pros, how do things flow? How do things

sound when you say them out? How does he

use punctuation? does use the correct uh

verb tenses. Now, since I am not a

professional author, you're probably

wondering, how is it fair for me to

analyze this work? Like, how do I know

what I'm talking about at all? Well,

what I've done for this analysis is I

have referred to the works of other

professionals uh who do analyze work in

this way and help other authors become

better creative writers. So the person

who I am using to analyze Martin's work

is Ursula Lein. And it's not just

because I like Ursula. She's a great

author and I do like her. Uh more

appropriate to this is that Ursula's

work is considered an industry standard

among professional authors and they

frequently use her. She was a

professional consultant for professional

writers. So she's a very fair person to

use. And then the second reason that I'm

using her, more specific to George R.

Martin himself, is that I highly suspect

that George RR Martin actually did take

advice from her because we know through

his blog posts that he had a

professional relationship with Ursulin

and they knew of each other and they

spoke to each other at conferences and

so on. Uh, so with all of that in mind,

I don't think it's too far-fetched for

me to say that George R. Martin took

professional writing advice from Ursula

Lein. So analyzing George R. Martin's

pros with Ursula Lin in mind, I think,

is a very, very fair thing to do. It's a

very fair standard to hold him to. So

the book that we're looking at is called

Steering the Craft. Again, this is

industry standard used among

professionals. Most professionals accept

this as a valid thing to analyze pros.

And this is exactly what it's meant for.

It's not meant for you to write a better

story. It's just for pros, just the nuts

and bolts of writing. Does your language

sound good? Basically, so looking at

this, one of the most important things

that Ursula points out that George sort

of struggles with is what she calls

crowding and leaping. So crowding means

loading your sentences full of vivid,

meaningful detail. So you're crowding it

with just important stuff. And leaping

means having the courage to cut, skip,

or imply stuff rather than telling

people everything and telling them how

to interpret the work. You you leave

some stuff to be implied. So early on in

a Game of Thrones, Martin shows close to

mastery. He's very good at it. He's not

a complete master, but um he is pretty

good at crowding and leaping and uh all

the other aspects. I looked at the

prologue of Game of Thrones, and it's

dense, but it's controlled. Every detail

builds mood, character, and plot, and I

could only cut about 10% without losing

something absolutely vital, which is a

very impressive figure. But there are a

few instances where Martin kind of tells

you how to think, how to interpret a

statement or a thought from a character.

He's not trusting you to uh make the

implied conclusion and he just outright

says, you know, Gared was mad or

something. Uh Gared was angry. He he had

barely suppressed anger. Um little

things like that. And then also uh he

has a little bit of trouble uh in his

action scenes. He's always had trouble

uh over describing his action scenes,

but for the most part it's fine. And

then by Dance of Dragons, this early

problem that he's experiencing in a Game

of Thrones uh compounds. So by Dance of

Dragons, Martin's editing, his leaping

especially is

very weak. So, Daenerys 10, Dance with

Dragons, is the clearest example of

this. It's the one that most people

point to. Uh, he did intentionally

simplify his word choice to use more

Germanic words than Latin words. But

while he was paying attention to that,

he was not paying attention to the fact

that he was creating massive slack in

his pros. So, when I edited this chapter

to kind of quantify how bad the issue

is, I was able to cut over 30% of the

chapter, like entire paragraphs of

redundant introspection, meandering

descriptions, and unnecessary stage

direction, and telling us how to think

rather than letting us come to the

conclusions ourselves. He's leaving no

space at all for the reader. So, the

popular impression that Martin has

become a long- winded and self-indulgent

author isn't just a feeling. It's

actually quantifiably true. In the case

of Daenerys 10: A Dance with Dragons,

the craft is still there in his word

choices and, you know, some of this

flowery language, but the pacing,

rhythm, and whites space has gotten a

lot weaker. And Ursula was reminding

people that what you don't say and the

pacing and the rhythm is just as

important as having beautiful pros when

you do say something. So, it seems that

Martin has sort of lost sight of this uh

objective. I'm now going to go over some

specific examples. We're going to start

with the Game of Thrones prologue.

Everybody's read this. So, I'll show you

uh my editing process very quickly and

I'll highlight some patterns that become

even worse problems later. The first

pattern is telling instead of showing.

Martin writes that way was

disinterested, but the dialogue already

shows this. We don't need to be told

that. Similarly, barely suppressed anger

is redundant when we already see the

tightness around Gareth's mouth and the

anger in his eyes. both redundant and

telling us instead of showing us when

he's already written another sentence

that does it the correct way. So he he's

being um a little redundant here. The

second pattern is a weak passive voice

in certain places. Now, contrary to what

uh many publishers will tell you, Ursula

says that uh having a passive voice is

actually appropriate and sometimes right

like um again if you were having a

treaty negotiation between two

politicians, they might use passive

voice to kind of talk around the issue

rather than getting straight to it. But

here it was not the appropriate place to

use passive voice, especially with this

kind of character who probably wouldn't

think in those ways. The sentence that I

wanted to point to here was that uh

Gared was not accustomed to being made

light of could be stronger. You could

say, you know, mockery sat ill with him

or something like that. The third

problem with George's work is uh

exposition dumps. So sometimes he

performs these well and they're

integrated well into the text and then

other times he's not as great at it and

the text feels clunky and kind of

forced. So, the paragraph about Will

being a veteran of a 100 rangings in the

haunted forest feels kind of clunky

because it it uses language that Will

probably wouldn't use and it's kind of

breaks his POV a little bit. Probably a

better version of the same sentence is

the haunted forest was a name for

southern tongues. The woods held no more

ghosts for will. And then you transition

into the next paragraph until night. So,

we're replacing there's no more terrors

with there's no more ghosts, which fits

in better with, you know, the idea that

there's going to be dead people in the

rest of the chapter. So, it ties in more

nicely uh with how Will thinks and, you

know, uh still conveying the same

expository information just phrased in a

different smoother way. Uh and then the

fourth thing is dialogue tags. Oh my

gosh, this is a Georgeism. Martin leans

very heavily on the structure of like

one there's a quote and then two

character verbed three quote continues.

For example, uh the the structure is

basically like Bob Sally said will you

be eating that cheese? You know, uh this

this sort of structure um is a facet of

George's writing, his voice. This is

because George is actually a

screenwriter and he's trying to

replicate cinematic pacing on the page

in a sort of roundabout way. And uh this

is fine occasionally, but uh personally

I think he overuses it. Um but even with

all of these minor issues, uh the

prologue is only 3,800 words and I could

only cut about 10% of it. So I I was

able to cut it down to about 3,400

words, which is um an impressive level

of control from George. uh especially

compared to his later stuff. Uh I'm

going to read out some of the uh worst

bits that I had to change in the pros on

the screen. Now, I don't want to read

through the whole chapter cuz like

everybody's read this. The first thing

that I wanted to point out was right at

the start, literally the very first

chapter of A Song of Ice and Fire, we

have somebody evacuating their bowels.

And uh this becomes

I'm I'm sure people on the meme channels

are aware of this. like this is so tired

in George's work. He really does this

way too much. Um, at the beginning of

the series, this is a fresh take for the

reader, so it's fine, and that's why I

didn't cross it out. But when people get

afraid, not everyone evacuates

themselves uh in fear. And uh, Germ uses

this with everybody. He seems to think

that everybody responds to fear in this

way in every situation. And that's just

not true. You have some style

inconsistencies later on. There's a

section where they're talking about uh

Sir Wayar Royce. As it reads now, Sir

Wayar Royce had been a sworn brother of

the Night's Watch for less than half a

year, but no one could say he had not

prepared for his vocation, at least in

so far as his wardrobe was concerned. Uh

this is George's voice leaking through.

It's too complicated for Will, who's

supposed to be sort of dumb and lowborn.

He wouldn't use all of those complicated

words. I used the word job instead of

vocation. I feel like that's something

that will might say, but you could also

use work. Sir Wayar had been a sworn

brother of the Night's Watch for less

than half a year, but no one could say

he had not prepared for his work. At

least he dressed the part. And then you

get into the description of his cloak.

So just some style inconsistencies. Um

the rest of the stuff is uh very

repetitive. I cross out a lot of

redundancies, so it's best not to get

into them. I'm really just trying to

focus on uh the worst stuff in this

chapter. Here's a really bad example of

telling the reader how to think. Sir

Wayar Royce is saying, "And how did you

find the wall?" "Weeping," Will said,

frowning. "He saw it clear enough now

that the Lord had pointed it out. They

couldn't have froze." "Not if the wall

was weeping. It wasn't cold enough."

We're telling the reader that Will is

making the connection. And to me, this

is just kind of obvious. We can still

point out that Will is realizing things

without doing it in this very

complicated way. We can do it with two

words instead of two sentences. So, how

you do that is, and how did you find the

wall? Weeping. They couldn't have froze.

Will realized not if the wall was

weeping, it wasn't cold enough, right?

So, um yeah. And then immediately after

this, this was the first paragraph that

I was able to spot that uh doesn't need

to be in here at all. Even normal people

understand that in medieval times uh you

know, people give orders and you have to

obey it. We get the sense that uh Royce

is in charge and that they're

reluctantly following his orders. So

this entire uh paragraph was

unnecessary. Uh the next few errors,

again, I don't want to get into them

very much, is uh once the others start

to show up, redundant information,

redundant sentences or paragraphs or uh

telling the viewer. I'm not just going

to discuss them too much cuz they're all

sort of the same issue. Overall, the

chapter was fine. And again, I could

only omit 10% of it. It was 3,800 words,

and I cut it down to about 3,400. So now

we have sort of a baseline for what

George's pros was like back in the day.

And now we're going to look at George's pros

pros

uh more recently. I say recently, but

it's been over a decade. So the same

patterns that we found in a Game of

Thrones that were more minor have now

compounded into serious problems after

decades of not really tackling them. So

the chapter in its original form is 6,771

6,771

words up from 3,800. He almost doubled

the length of uh his chapters here. I

was able to cut it to 4712,

which is a 32% reduction, and it's only

a,000 words more than uh the prologue of

a Game of Thrones. So, it's right on par

with uh his old writing. I don't want to

go over every single example because

we're going to be here for hours. If I

do, I'm just going to show um a few

examples and some of the worst parts. Um

and you can pause on screen to read

through uh most of it. And I'm just

going to uh point out like the worst

stuff. So, here's some examples. Um,

again we see the redundant information

qualifiers. So Danny says felt as if she

had the beginnings of a fever can just

become she had the beginnings of a

fever. We're in her head. We don't need

she felt. Right? And although this is a

minor edit, like when you do this over

and over and over and over again, like

you are saving literally hundreds of

words over the course of a chapter

that's 7,000 words long, right? That's a

massive percentage cut just off of those

things. And and I haven't even really

gotten started yet. This is just minor

stuff. The big one in this chapter is

expository reminders. We have something

like she had no memories of that Dragon

Stone, but she would not soon forget

this one. Like

we know that Daenerys was born at

Dragonstone. We've read the five books.

Just cut this. You don't need this. Um,

and you know, telling the viewer what

happened in the first book, like we

don't need this. If they need a

reminder, they can go back and read the

first book, right? That's that's what

they're there for. Just cut this stuff.

This is totally redundant and

unnecessary information. And then we

have over description. Um, there's no

nice way to say this. There's like an

entire 200word paragraph about the grass

and the wind that basically only exists

to show that Martin has uh poetic

abilities. Like he he can write. He's a

serious writer. A lot of people get

confused by the professional advice to

kill your darlings, right? You hear this

in writing advice all the time, but it's

been divorced from its context so much

that uh people have no idea what it

means. People seem to apply this to

George's work by saying like, "Oh, like

you have too many characters. You you

have to kill your darlings. You have to

kill your characters because your

characters are your darlings." That is

not what kill your darlings means. That

is not what it originally meant. That is

not what it's referring to. Darlings are

those poetic little bits of writing that

you you put so much effort into, but

ultimately you realize that they're

redundant and they have no place in the

story, but you you get tempted to

include them anyways because oh, I put

so much into it and oh, it's so

beautiful. This is your darling. This is

the darling that needs to be killed.

Okay, this paragraph right here on

screen, this is a darling of George and

it needs to be killed. And a good editor

would be able to do that. I don't know

what's going on in the editing process.

If I had to guess, it was probably a

time thing that they didn't catch this

because the book is just so massive. But

this clearly needs to go. And again, I'm

going to show you visually uh a few

other paragraphs on screen right now

where it's pretty bad. Like you can see

visually from my edits of uh the first

uh the the prologue from the first book

to this chapter like I'm able to get rid

of a lot more and I'm not really even

like rephrasing things or doing that

much editing. I'm literally just

deleting uh entire paragraphs and

sentences that are just completely

redundant. Again, I'm going to read

through a couple of the worst examples.

As the sun was gliding, the distant

spires of Dragonstoneone. That's

verbatim. Sorry, guys. There's a missing

word there. Um, so you know, whatever.

Like, I I didn't even correct that

stuff. As the sun was gliding, the

distant spires of Dragonstoneone, Danny

stumbled onto a low stone wall,

overgrown and broken. Perhaps it had

been a part of a temple or the hall of

the village lord. More ruins lay beyond

it, an old well, and some circles in the

grass where Hovels had once stood. They

had been built of mud and straw, she

judged, but long years of wind and rain

had worn them away to nothing. Dany

wedged herself into the corner, making a

nest with handfuls of the grass. The

night was cold, the ground hard, her

belly empty. She found herself thinking

of Meereen, of Daario, and blah blah

blah blah blah. We get back into his

writing. But do you see how this kind of

flows a lot better? And uh we got rid of

a lot of the really slow pacing and like

this is you know unnecessary

information. Another bit that was really

unnecessary was the bit about the ants.

Now I get why the ants are here. I get

the symbolism of the ants but we don't

need to linger so long on the ants. The

next morning she woke stiff and sore and

aching with ants growing on her arms and

legs and face. She had bites all over

her. Little red bumps itchy and

inflamed. She knocked them off and

crushed them under her bare feet. There

were so many. It turned out that their

antill was on the other side of her

wall. She wondered how the ants had

managed to climb over it and find her.

Zeris told her tales of nights so poor

they had to sleep beneath the ancient

hedges that grew along the byways of the

seven kingdoms. Dany would have given

much and more for a nice thick hedge,

preferably one without an antill. The

sun was only coming up. She wanted to

lie back down, close her eyes, and give

herself up to sleep. No, I must keep

going. The stream. Just follow the

stream. you you I'm sure you can tell

that uh we have spent a lot less time

what did we lose uh that there's dry

brown grass the uh questioning where the

ants came from even though we get the

answer like a few uh seconds later that

she's brushing the ants off like uh

that's already conveyed by she knocked

them off and then uh I also cut a

description of the stars being in the

sky like talking about Cal Drogo and

remembering Cal Drogo and looking about

how the hill behind her is still close

and she could still go back. Um,

redundant because we get that

information later on about, you know,

her struggle of whether she's going to

turn back or not. It's just pointless

redundant information. And then uh we're

going to get to uh the famous famous famous

famous

section of of this book of this chapter

in particular. So, here we go. We're

just going to get into it. Um, I'm going

to read it over with my edits already in

mind, and you'll see how it flows a lot

better. Danny cuped her hands to drink.

The water made her belly cramp. But

cramps were easier to bear than thirst.

She had no other drink but the morning

dew that glistened on the tall grass and

no food at all. Her whip slapped sloppy

against her thigh. Wap, wap, wap. One

step at a time, and the stream would see

her home. Just past midday, she came

upon a bush growing by the stream with

hard green berries. Dany squinted at

them suspiciously, then plucked one and

nibbled at it. Its flesh was chewy, with

a bitter aftertaste that seemed familiar

to her. In the Kalisar, they used

berries like these to flavor roast, she

decided. Saying it aloud made her more

certain of it. Dany found herself

picking berries with both hands and

tossing them into her mouth. She spent

the rest of that day wretching up green

slime. If I stay here, I will die. I may

be dying now. My flesh will feed the

wolves and carry on crows, she thought

sadly, and worms will burrow through my womb.

womb.

Sunset found her squatting in the tall

grass. Every stool was looser and valor

than the one before. The water was

killing her, but she could not fight her

thirst. When she closed her eyes at

last, Dany did not know whether she

would be strong enough to open them

again. She dreamt of her dead brother.

Vizer's looked just as he had the last

time she'd seen him. "You are dead,"

Dany said. And so, we continue through

the rest of the chapter. So hopefully

that uh rendition of the same chapter uh

was uh made a lot less unbearable and uh

painful to to read by just cutting a lot

of stuff and replacing like a couple

words. Then uh skipping ahead way off

past the Jorah uh hallucinations um

she's kind of brought back to reality by

a stone under her foot. She trips on it

and then uh there's a bunch of

expository details about the description

of the grasslands around her. It's

supposed to be a suspenseful moment and

instead of these pauses adding suspense,

they just completely take the tension

away from the moment. Simple solution is

just to get rid of them and get rid of

the redundant information. So, here's

how that looks. The stone turned under

her foot. She stumbled to one knee and

cried out in pain, hoping against hope

that her bear would help her to her

feet. But when she turned her head, he

was gone. "The wind," she told herself.

The wind shakes the stalks and makes

them sway. Only no wind was blowing. She

fumbled in the water, found a stone the

size of her fist, pulled it from the

mud. From the corner of her eye, Dany

saw the grass move again off to her

right. Through the grass came a soft,

silvery tinkling. Bells," Stanny

thought, smiling, remembering Cal Drogo

and the bells he braided into his hair.

Blah blah blah blah blah. A rider

appeared. Blah blah blah blah blah. A

hunting bow and quiver of arrows were

slung from his saddle. A scout. If he

found her there, he would kill her or

enslave her. At best, he would send her

back to the crons of the D'ach Khalen.

He did not see her, though. Dany

followed his eyes, and there the shadow

flew with with wings spread wide. And so

we continue through the rest of the

paragraph. And again, uh just at the

very very end here, um again, it's I

think these descriptions are supposed to

be adding, you know, a moment of uh

pause, a moment of tension, right? This

would be like if he was writing a

screenplay, he would be inserting like

beat, but it just doesn't work that way

in the pros. It it comes off completely

redundant. And uh uh we want to speed

things up when there's action. So we're

speeding things up here by getting rid

of the lot. A vast herd of horses

appeared below them. There were riders

too, a score or more, but they turned

and fled at the sight of the dragon. But

as swift as they were, they could not

fly. Soon one horse began to lag behind

the others. The dragon descended on him.

Dany clutched the dragon's neck with all

her strength to keep from sliding off.

The carcass was too heavy for him to

bear back to his layer. So Dorggon

consumed his kill there, tearing at the

charred flesh as the grasses burned

around them. Dany, starved, slid off his

back and ate with him, ripping chunks of

smoking meat from the dead horse with

bare burned hands. In marine I was a

queen in silk, nibling on stuffed dates

and honeyed lamb, she remembered. What

would my noble husband think if he could

see me now? Daria would laugh, carve off

a hunk of force with his arch, and squat

down to eat beside her. As the western

sky turned purple, she heard the sound

of approaching horses. Danny Rose wiped

her hands on her ragged dinder tunic and

went to stand beside her dragon. That

was how Cal Jacko found her when half a

hundred mountain warriors emerge from

the smoke. Just at the end there, uh the

color of a blood bruise thing uh isn't

necessarily a mistake. It's just an

overused metaphor in his books. Uh it's

one of his georgisms. Um there's nothing

wrong with saying purple or you know a

synonym for purple. So you don't have to

use a metaphor for the color of the sky.

So yeah, that's uh those are the worst

parts of it. But um I'm sure you can see

visually uh speaking uh just how much I

was able to cut from this chapter. Uh

the original was 6771 words and the new

count was about 4712 words which was cut

of 32%.

So now that you have a bit of specifics

on uh how George writes and some of the

flaws in his writing and a lot of the

Georgeisms and the mistakes he usually

makes, I wanted to point out uh one of

his strengths which was his use of

memory uh to hide exposition and clues.

I think this is a brilliant device and

he uses it very effectively. Martin uses

an almost invisible uh pattern formula

to deliver exposition without it feeling

like an info dump. So, I've distilled

this into a five-step process. Step one

is a boring task. This is going to start

with a character doing some kind of

mindless activity like reading a scroll

or walking around or riding or cleaning

their sword or sewing. It's just

something that's meant to put their body

on autopilot so that their mind can

wander somewhere else. And then step two

is the sensory trigger that makes their

mind do that wandering. So, there's this

small concrete detail, this sensory

thing that's going to flip a mental

switch for them. For example, in the

Danny chapter, there's the taste of the

berry that reminds Danny of Dothraki

customs. And then you've got stamp

three, which is, you know, the info

dump, the exposition. Now, Martin is

going to deliver what would otherwise be

a very boring exposition dump. We learn

about Dothraki marriage customs,

Lannister family history, or lore from

the north. But because we're seeing it

through the character's lived experience

and with their emotional lens and you

know the emotional impact that this had

on them, it feels more like a story and

so it's a lot more fun to learn about

the lore this way. Step four is the clue

sandwich. So Martin knows that readers

focus on the big emotional beats in his

memories. So he hides clues between two

other details, you know, sandwiching

them between two other different things,

making them look like throwaway lines.

For example, in Daenerys's memory of

fleeing the fighting pits, the obvious

drama is Hazar possibly poisoning her

with locusts. Um, again, if you missed

this, this was in Daenerys 10, uh, Dance

with Dragons. Anyways, um but the

sandwiched uh clue in the chaotic

description is that uh George casually

drops that Hazar shouted for men to kill

Drogon and they obeyed. Right. The

reason that crossbows and spears are

flying at Daenerys as Drogon is flying

away is because Hazar shouted for the

men to do that and some of them actually

hit Drogon and they could have killed

Daenerys quite easily. Right? So, her

husband ordered her death and it's

mentioned with the same weight as like

the color of the sand in the pit or or

the sound of the crowd. like it's hidden

in plain sight and it's sandwiched

between two other things so that you

casually pass over it as if it's some

nothing detail. But when you think about

it, wait a minute, and this is where a

lot of the reread value comes from is

wait a minute. I was I was totally

focused on like how epic it was to

escape from the pit and the chaos and oh

my god the drama and oh my god the the

locusts. But no, the important thing was

her husband shouted for her men to kill

her. They obeyed him. That has implications.

implications.

Um, but anyways, step five is the snap

back to reality. So, uh, something jolts

the character back to the present. So,

Daenerys trips on a rock in Daenerys 10,

or maybe a door slams in their face, or

maybe a voice is addressing them

directly. This re-anchors both the

character and the reader and the current

scene making the whole memory feel like

a real actual intrusive thought instead

of an exposition device. So this really

works. Uh why this matters uh is

different for readers and for writers.

So for readers understanding this

pattern is kind of like a cheat code uh

because it tells you basically when to

pay attention. So those throwaway lines

and memories are often the most

important information. Um so yeah, it's

really easy to find them when when you

know where they are. And for writers,

this is kind of a blueprint. Uh this is

a great device for burying exposition,

hiding clues, controlling pacing, and

bridging scenes for when you kind of

have a bullet point list of, you know,

plot points that need to happen in this

chapter, but you just have no idea how

to bridge them. put a memory in there.

Based on everything I've shown so far

and talked about so far, here's a

blueprint, a practical guide on how to

mimic Martin's style and get pretty

close to what he might sound like. First

of all is the Latin density. Your target

number is going to be 12%. It could be

between 12 and 15% Latin 8 words

excluding stop words, but really your

target is going to be uh get as close to

12% as possible. I mean, you know, it

depends on the character, of course. So,

um, you might want 15 to 17%, if you are

writing about a ruler, like a Cersei

chapter would probably have higher

stuff. A Daenerys chapter, a Tyrion

chapter would probably have a higher

band of Latin density. So, these are

rulers, schemers, or formal political

scenes or court dialogue. And then uh

you want the lower band of uh 10 to 13%

again target is 12 for um more earthy

honest moments or survival situations.

Uh how you can do this practically

speaking is you write the chapter then

after you've written the chapter you

analyze your Latin density. If it's off

uh search for Latin words in your work

and adjust the word choice to uh more

dramatic or Latinate vocabulary. So you

can use a thesaurus to help you pick out

more dramatic words. And this is going

to adjust your Latin density to be

closer to the target. It doesn't have to

be exactly 12%. It can be a little bit

off, but um if it's, you know, very far

off from uh the target, right? Like a

few percentage points is a very big

difference, right? Remember the

difference between George and JRR Token

is about 6%. That is a really big

feeling difference for native English

speakers. So, uh even a difference of 6%

is like massive. Just pay attention to

your Latin density. And then I'll also

give you an idea without having to do a

formal statistical analysis of like

which kinds of you words that George is

going to use, right? If it's a big

complicated Latin word like maximum, uh

George probably isn't going to use that

for a fantasy novel. Maybe there's a new

character, right, from Norvos or

something or Pentos. Maybe they are

going to use Maximum, but uh other than

that, like Jon Snow is probably never

going to say the word maximum. It just

doesn't feel like a word that he would

say or Davos. Yeah, probably Davos. Of

course, I'm going to eat my own words

when George releases Winds of Winter

Tomorrow and uh he uses the word maximum

in every single chapter, but whatever. So,

So,

uh, the second part of the blueprint is

the use the memory device. Uh, nearly

every chapter should feature at least

one memory sequence, and you use this to

deliver exposition dumps, hide clues,

and transition between scenes when you

don't have a clean uh, way to transition

between them. Uh, this is a five-step

process. Step one is the boring task.

Uh, this is walking, reading, or some

kind of physical activity. Step two is

the sensory trigger. So, taste, smell,

physical sensation, maybe a sound. And

then you got uh the exposition itself.

And then you have the clue sandwiched as

a throwaway line between different

things. I mean, sometimes it's somewhere

else, but typically it's it's

sandwiched. He likes to sandwich them.

And then you have the snap pack to

reality. The physical interruption

returns the character to uh the present

and away from their memory. The third

thing is some common georgisms. These

patterns appear consistently in Martin's

work. So, uh, dialogue structure, you

got the, uh, Bob Mary said, "Would you

like to eat this cheese?" Right? Quote,

character verbed. Quote continues. Uh,

use this for cinematic pacing, but maybe

consider uh, using it less than Martin

does, but he definitely does use this if

you want to mimic exactly what he sounds

like. Then, uh, there's the, uh, the

evacuating their bowels when afraid

trope. uh he uses this a lot and it's

honestly kind of funny. And then uh

purple bruises uh when describing

purple. Martin often uses uh the color

of a bruise or something uh to describe

purple instead of just saying purple. I

don't know why he just doesn't use the

word like plum or something or or just

saying purple. I don't get it. telling

instead of showing. Martin's uh often

tells us that characters are angry or

disinterested instead of trusting the

dialogue. Later Martin in a dance with

dragons does this a lot more. I would

avoid this uh but uh it is a Georgeism

and those are the three sort of things

to uh keep in mind when you are trying

to write like George R. Martin to test

uh whether I have done my research right

and whether this blueprint does actually

bring you fairly close to what he sounds

like. I used the released sample chapter

from the Winds of Winter Theon 1 as kind

of a a baseline uh as a source uh

because the current version that's

released reads a lot like a first draft.

If you haven't read the sample chapter

from the winds of winter or you want to

generally avoid spoilers for the winds

of winter, I would recommend not

listening to this because there are

going to be things from the winter to

winter in here. Uh I am actually using

uh George's work here. These these are a

lot of this is like real stuff that

happens in the winds of winter. So if

you're trying to avoid that sort of

thing, now's the time to be warned about

it. I also don't want to spoil how much

of this is George's and how much of it

is mine, right? Because um I I will say

that part of this is actually George's

actual words. Does this sound like

George RR Martin's work? Is the illusion

convincing enough? Was it close? Right?

Like did I get close? Um did it almost

work except for a few things or was it

like, you know, how did it feel?

Basically, I would really appreciate if

you left a comment if you haven't read

the Theon sample chapter or even if you

have uh how much of this felt close to

George's voice. Do was this successful?

So, that's the whole goal of this,

whether this is uh actually, you know, a

relatively accurate read on on how

George writes. Okay, so uh I hope you

enjoy. Here is Theon One, The Winds of

Winter. The bite of his iron shackles

achd against the raw flesh of Theon's

wrist, even as the key set him free. He

would have fallen if not for the hands

that seized him. Two hands, four hands,

six hands, as hard as stone on his arms,

his back, and his neck. I am going to

die today, he thought. His legs betrayed

him. They had not known their own weight

while he hung from the wall of the stone

keep that Stannis took his quarters. The

floor rushed up, and the world became a

struggle of labored grunts and dragging,

and rough rope replaced the shackles as

his bindings. Up a man growled behind

him like a master to his dog. His guard

was northern. He could feel it in the

hate of his voice. The blow landed

square between his shoulders, a heavy

wet thump that sent a jolt of pain

lancing up his spine. Reek's pain. Theon

felt it from a distance through a thick

fog watching himself from the corner of

the room. The world swam in muddy

colors. the soot on the stone ceiling,

the red of the king's braier, the grim

face of a guard. He saw it like the

bottom of the well in Winterfell. I

threw the septin down that well. The

hands hauled him upright. Walk, said the

voice. He tried. His steps made a

mockery of walking. A broken thing like

the broken dolls of the Coffter's boys

he murdered. Shump, shump, shump, shump.

The sound was wrong. He was wrong. How

could he remember their broken dolls but

not their names? Theon, he thought. My

name is Theon. You have to remember your

name. He remembered many things, but not

their names. He remembered their tears

and their faces. He remembered their

screams and their struggling. And the

laughter he gave them as he carved their

father's throat with his dagger. The

dagger that Mkin made him. What he did

to their mother was best forgotten. But

he remembered. The gods remembered. The

north remembered. The thick oak door

opened with a gust of cold black wind

and a swirl of snow. Theon was blinded

when the men kicked his face into the

snow. He did not put up his hands to

stop the fall. I deserve this, he

thought. The air was so cold that it

burned his lungs with each breath. The

gritty white powder clung to his skin

like a cold sweat. And for a moment he

was not there, but back in the icy

clutch of Winterfell, with the sharp

taste of blood in his mouth, with only

Jane Pool's weak breaths beneath him in

the dark of the winter storm. The outer

wall of Winterfell was 80 ft high. But

beneath the spot where he had jumped,

the snows had piled up to a depth of

more than 40. A cold white pillow. The

girl had taken the worst of it. Jane,

her name is Jane, but she will never

tell them. The had landed on top of her

and broken some of her ribs.

You saved me, Jane had whispered as he

was carrying her through the snow. She

was pale with pain, but she had brushed

one hand across his cheek and smiled. I

saved Lady Arya, Theon whispered back.

And then, all at once, Mor spears were

all around them. If Crow and his men had

not been outside the castle, Ramsay

would have had them both in moments.

More Zumber was an old man, huge and

powerful, with a ruddy face and a shaggy

white beard. He had been seated on a

garren, clad in the pelt of a gigantic

snow bear, its head his hood. Under it,

he wore a stained white leather eye

patch that reminded Theon of his uncle

Euron. He wanted to rip it off Umbre's

face to make certain that underneath was

only an empty socket, not a black eye

shining with malice. Instead, he had

whimpered through his broken teeth and

said, "I am a turncloak and a kins

slayer. You will hold that lying tongue

or lose it." Crow finished. But Umber

had looked at the girl closely,

squinting down with his one good eye.

You are the younger daughter. Jane had

nodded. Arya? My name is Arya. When last

I was inside those walls, your cook

served us a steak and kidney pie made

with ale, I think. Best I ever tasted.

What was his name? That cook. Gage, Jane

said. He was a good cook. He would make

lemon cakes for Santa whenever we had

lemons. Grow food had fingered his

beard. Dead now, I suppose. That smith

of yours as well. A man who knew his

steel. What was his name? Jane had

hesitated. Mkickin, Theon thought. His

name was Mkin. The castle blacksmith had

never made any lemon cakes for Santa,

which made him far less important than

the castle cook in the sweet little

world she had shared with her friend

Jane Pool. Remember, damn you, your

father was a steward. He had charge of

the whole household. The Smith's name

was Mick. Mick. Mick. I had him put to

death before me. Mick, Jane said. More

Zumper had grunted. I what he might have

said or done next Theon never learned

for that was when the boy ran up

clutching a spear and shouting that the

port cullis on Winterfell's main gate

was rising and how Crow had grinned at

that. When Freys riders came out, they

fell into the pits and then Umber spears

fell into them. The killing was hardly

over when Crow gave him a horse and sent

him to Stannis's camp with the Braavosi

banker and his guards. I saved her, he

thought. This was his thanks. How long

had he been hanging there? The weight of

his body had torn his shoulders from his

sockets, and his wrists were still

chafed, bloody from the metal. They had

given him no food, nor asked him many

questions. Theon heard the stomping of

boots from the floorboards above the

cellar sometimes, or shouting, or the

muttering of words if the wind died down

enough for him to listen. There was

little else to do, chained to a wall.

"My brother's debts," the king had

muttered. He had heard the men speak of

how all the ink in the camp had frozen

over. They said Stannis had drawn his

dagger and signed a contract with the

Bank of Braavos with his own blood. The

day he arrived, Stannis had the banker

leave for East Watch with Sir Justin

Massie, for Lord Bolton would be upon

them soon, and he would not have the

banker caught in the fight. Jane had

gone with them to be delivered to the

Night's Watch along the way. To Jon,

Theon thought his brother was now Lord

Commander of the Night's Watch. He

wondered what Jon would do with her.

He'll protect her, he decided. He was

always playing hero in the yard. He had

heard Stannis speak of his debts and

wondered how he would ever repay the

blood he spilled. Somehow he thought all

the seven kingdoms would not balance the

scale. The king himself only spoke twice

to Theon. When he first arrived in the

storm with Jane in his arms, Stannis had

grimaced at the sight of him or the

smell of him. He could tell that he

smelled awful. Ramsay liked him that

way. But that was when he was Reek. Now

he was Theon again. Theon I, Theon,

Theon, Theon, the gods had said. Theon

turncloak was all Stannis had to say at

first. Take him to the tower. I would

have answers. He got them. Theon gave

the king his answers, and so much more.

How many men were in the castle, their

numbers, their postings, how far a man

could see from a top the battlements,

the sigils and houses in the feasting

hall, the kitchens, Abel and his washer

women, and the crypts and Lady Dustin

and the hooded man and the missing

swords. When they asked about Lord

Edard's bones, he told them about that,

too. Theon told them about the Frey

riders who begged for the mercy of death

after the stakes went through their legs

and their bellies. He told them about

their plan and their escape, about the

long-legged woman, about Freya's rope

and their jump off the wall. He told

them about Arya. The real Arya, not

Jane, never Jane. I saved her. He told

them everything. Everything but the name

Jane Pool. How she tasted on his tongue

and the things Ramsay made them do. By

the end, he had even told them about how

many times Lord Wyman had gone to the

privy, when, how long, who was here, and

who was there. It was an endless assault

of questions, and it was the first time

in a long time that anyone had cared to

listen to what Theon Greyjoy had to say.

When Theon told them about Karstark's

letter, they had questions for him, too,

and for Maester Tybald, the maester of

the Dreadford, brought by Lord Ornoff on

the march. Karstark had brought three

ravens, and all three flew only to

Winterfell. There were just two left in

their cages. There was Jon's letter as

well, the one with the seal of black wax

delivered by hand by his riders. Theon

could not remember the last time he

laughed so hard. You should name this

turncloak tower your grace. He had

smiled at the king as Arnoff Karstark

tried to break free beside him. Stannos

had ground his teeth at that. A leather

hand closed on the scruff of his furs

and hauled him from the snow. This is

better than you deserve, kinslayer, the

armored man spat. We ought to have

burned you with the carstarks for the

lord of light. A cleaner, purer. Be glad

that it is not I who decide your fate. A

shove sent him staggering forward into

the wind, and the filthy snow of a camp

long past its due churned beneath his

feet. The guards took him well past the

long house of the lords, past the

horses, and beyond the black ruin of the

sight of Lord Arnoff's remains. The

ground hardened under him. Ice, he

thought. We're on the lake. Theon had

been here before in another life. He had

been three and 10, he reckoned, the

first time Lord Eddard had let him out

of his sight. There had been a boar

ravaging the chickens in the night, and

Stark had taken them on the hunt. When

Theon realized how far he had ridden

ahead of the others, for a wild moment

he had dreamed of turning his horse

south and west, riding all the way to

the sea, and finding a ship brave enough

to dare the wrath of Winterfell and

carry him to Pike. But it was a boy's

dream. Lord Stark had known it, and deep

down so had Theon. There was no ship for

him, and Sansa Stark was not at Pike.

Sansa, sweet Sansa, with her arburn hair

and the armor she always wore around

him. It was Sansa who had first made

Theon see himself as a man grown with a

man's wants in a man's hungers. Now he

was no man at all, not after what Ramsay

had taken. And whenever he tried to

imagine Sansa in his head, all he could

see was Jane. The thought hurt more than

the cold. Jane, her name was a stone in

his throat. She had been his salvation

and his ruin, the only warmth in a world

of endless winter. And he had dragged

her through all the hells and back. He

had no right to feel anything for her.

You do not love her, he thought to

himself. You can't. You are Theon

Turncloak. Theon kinslayer. Love was a

song for better men, whole men. But her

trembling breath beneath him in the

dark, her skin as fair as the snow

around them. No. No. He shook his head

to cast the thoughts aside. It's all

your fault. You did this to her. Death

is more than you should hope for. But

another part of him clung to her as she

had clung to him, to the feel of her

body pressed against his on the horse,

of her arms around his chest, and her

breath against his back. Her memory held

a warmth that shamed him more than all

his betrayals. "She is safe," he said

aloud. "I saved her. I saved." The words

were thin as rotted wool. The man from

Barral snorted. "You fell. Umber saved

her. She is safe, he told himself. Jon

will see her to safety. She will live.

She will forget. The thought brought him

some small comfort. The idea of Jane

living, healing, growing old in some

quiet place without a shadow beside her.

They stopped. The crowd loomed before

him, and Stannis stood waiting by the

heart tree, black birds covering its

branches. There seemed to be more birds

than snowflakes in the sky, and all at

the tree. Theon raised his eyes to his

sister. "Tell me how you took the

castle." "Show me the tunnel, and I

shall remember it when I take your

sister to bed," Sir Justin had said to

him one night. "I didn't take a tunnel.

There's no tunnel. I swear," he had wept

between the fists. Asha could not meet

Theon stare. "That was good. It meant

she still had her dignity. They had not

touched her or broken her yet. Remember

your name," a voice seemed to whisper on

the wind. It did not sound like his own.

Theon, he thought. My name is Theon

Greyjoy. And then, a confession so quiet

he could hardly hear it in his own

thoughts. And I loved a girl named Jane

Pool. He did not know if it made him

more a man or less. The guard's hand

tightened on his arm to lead him the

final steps. Theon took a breath of

frozen air and waited for the end to

begin. The guard stopped him in front of

the great white weirwood. Its face swept

slow crimson tears of sap that froze

upon its bark. The ravens clustered in

its branches were silent. Hundreds of

black bees watching from above. The king

looked more a figure carved from

ironwood than a man. His face was taught

skin over sharp bone. His eyes sunk in

deep bruised hollows. He wore a plain

ring male halberg with gray dull links

and a sheath with the hilt of a glowing

sword. The king did not look at Theon,

but at the men gathered on the ice. You

know this man, Theon Greyjoy, Turncloak,

Kinslayer. The titles fell like stones,

the sound carrying across the frozen

lake. He has borne many names and earned

them all in blood and treachery. A low

murmur rippled through the crowd. Some

among you, Stannis's gaze swept over

them, have argued the fire must cleanse

his crimes. His jaw tightened. He turned

slightly, his shadow long and stark upon

the snow, pointing like a dagger at the

weeping heart tree. I mean to rule my

kingdom, not as a conqueror from afar,

but as your king. The law of the land is

the law of the king, and northern law is

clear. A man guilty of these crimes must

die, and the man who passes the sentence

must swing the sword. He paused to let

the old words hang in the air. A few of

the Northmen shifted, their eyes

flickering from Stannis to the tree. The

blood of Adard Stark cries out for

justice. For the king's justice, said

the king. The men agreed. Some cheered

and shouted for justice. Arya Stark,

last of his line, and Lady of

Winterfell, begged for her savior's

mercy, for this creature. The crimes

done to the north cannot go unanswered.

Theon Greyjoy must die, but there may be

honor and mercy in the manner of his

passing. His hand went to the hilt of

his sword. So I shall give you the

justice of Winterfell, the justice of

your fathers. Before the eyes of your

old gods, I Stannis of House Baratheon,

first of my name, will pass this

sentence. He drew his sword in one slow

grating hiss of metal. The false light played on the faces in the crowd, on the

played on the faces in the crowd, on the red red eyes of the heart tree. And I

red red eyes of the heart tree. And I will swing the sword. Stannis, it

will swing the sword. Stannis, it whispered. The king froze. He looked

whispered. The king froze. He looked around for the source of the voice,

around for the source of the voice, staring at the weeping eyes of the heart

staring at the weeping eyes of the heart tree. Stannis blinked and finally turned

tree. Stannis blinked and finally turned his hard gaze upon Theon. You stand

his hard gaze upon Theon. You stand accused of the burning of Winterfell,

accused of the burning of Winterfell, the murder of its people and its

the murder of its people and its rightful rulers, of rape and pillaging,

rightful rulers, of rape and pillaging, breaking the king's peace, conspiring

breaking the king's peace, conspiring against the king, treason and

against the king, treason and kinslaying. Your defense,

kinslaying. Your defense, Stannis, the tree whispered. Stannis?

Stannis, the tree whispered. Stannis? Stannis ignored it. I'm guilty. Theon

Stannis ignored it. I'm guilty. Theon said with tears in his eyes. I did it

said with tears in his eyes. I did it all. I deserve to die. Please make it

all. I deserve to die. Please make it end. Do you have any last words? Live.

end. Do you have any last words? Live. The wind sighed through the branches.

The wind sighed through the branches. And for a moment, the only sounds were

And for a moment, the only sounds were the faint crackle of the brazer and the

the faint crackle of the brazer and the rhythm of the crowd's breath. Theon

rhythm of the crowd's breath. Theon lifted his gaze to the ancient bleeding

lifted his gaze to the ancient bleeding face in the bark. The red eyes seemed to

face in the bark. The red eyes seemed to hold his own. They know the old gods.

hold his own. They know the old gods. They were watching. He remembered Jane

They were watching. He remembered Jane as a small girl in Winterfell's yard

as a small girl in Winterfell's yard with lemon cake in her smile. His voice

with lemon cake in her smile. His voice when it came was a broken thing. It

when it came was a broken thing. It carried no further than the king and the

carried no further than the king and the gods. Tell her, he whispered. If you see

gods. Tell her, he whispered. If you see her, tell her I'm sorry for for

her, tell her I'm sorry for for everything. Tell her, he swallowed the

everything. Tell her, he swallowed the stone in his throat nearly choking him.

stone in his throat nearly choking him. Tell her the gods told me my name there

Tell her the gods told me my name there in Winterfell. She will know. No, a

in Winterfell. She will know. No, a raven croked. Then another. No. Until

raven croked. Then another. No. Until the whole flock took up the word. No,

the whole flock took up the word. No, no, no, cried the blackbirds. He lowered

no, no, cried the blackbirds. He lowered his head for the king. The tears that

his head for the king. The tears that fell from his eyes were hot against his

fell from his eyes were hot against his frozen skin. I'm ready. No, no, no, no.

frozen skin. I'm ready. No, no, no, no. Their cries grew more frantic. The old

Their cries grew more frantic. The old wood of the white tree groaned with the

wood of the white tree groaned with the fluttering of hundreds of wings. The

fluttering of hundreds of wings. The chorus of ravens turned into a

chorus of ravens turned into a cacophony. No, no, no. The king took

cacophony. No, no, no. The king took hold of the glowing sword with both

hold of the glowing sword with both hands and said, "I, Stannis of the House

hands and said, "I, Stannis of the House Baratheon, first of my name, King of the

Baratheon, first of my name, King of the Andals and the Royar and the First Men,

Andals and the Royar and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector

Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm, by my own word and law and

of the Realm, by my own word and law and the customs of my peoples, I do sentence

the customs of my peoples, I do sentence you to die." The wind blew suddenly,

you to die." The wind blew suddenly, whipping snow into the faces of the

whipping snow into the faces of the gathered host. Winterfell! From the

gathered host. Winterfell! From the heart tree came a final whisper. The

heart tree came a final whisper. The king<unk>s arms trembled and lowered the

king<unk>s arms trembled and lowered the sword. The false light of the blade cast

sword. The false light of the blade cast dancing shadows against the white bark.

dancing shadows against the white bark. The king shook his head. The hesitation

The king shook his head. The hesitation lasted but a heartbeat. A nervous murmur

lasted but a heartbeat. A nervous murmur spread around the frozen lake. The

spread around the frozen lake. The Northmen stared with wide eyes at the

Northmen stared with wide eyes at the weeping face on the tree, its red eyes

weeping face on the tree, its red eyes seemingly a flame in the glow of the

seemingly a flame in the glow of the brazer. No, no, no. The cries of the

brazer. No, no, no. The cries of the ravens were a shrieking chorus, a frenzy

ravens were a shrieking chorus, a frenzy of black feathers and sharp talons. What

of black feathers and sharp talons. What do they know? He thought. That I am a

do they know? He thought. That I am a turncloak, a killer, that I deserve

turncloak, a killer, that I deserve this. Theon bowed his head. He was

this. Theon bowed his head. He was damned by the gods themselves. They

damned by the gods themselves. They know. The gods know all my sins. No, the

know. The gods know all my sins. No, the ravens screamed. Stannis roared and

ravens screamed. Stannis roared and raised his sword to strength. The ravens

raised his sword to strength. The ravens burst from the branches like a living

burst from the branches like a living shadow. A black spear aimed at the

shadow. A black spear aimed at the descending sword. Beaks and claws

descending sword. Beaks and claws screeched against the steel with each

screeched against the steel with each new scratch. Wings battered Stannis's

new scratch. Wings battered Stannis's arms and face. A torrent of feathers and

arms and face. A torrent of feathers and fury. Birds dropped dead all around them

fury. Birds dropped dead all around them in their fight to stop the sword's

in their fight to stop the sword's descent. Stannis stumbled back, swatting

descent. Stannis stumbled back, swatting wildly. The sword fell from his grasp,

wildly. The sword fell from his grasp, hissing as it plunged into the snow. Its

hissing as it plunged into the snow. Its light snuffed into steam. Men shouted,

light snuffed into steam. Men shouted, drawing weapons, shielding their faces

drawing weapons, shielding their faces from the whirling birds. Others began to

from the whirling birds. Others began to pray. Theon, forgotten, stayed on his

pray. Theon, forgotten, stayed on his knees. He looked up at the bloody face

knees. He looked up at the bloody face of the tree. "No, no, no!" the birds

of the tree. "No, no, no!" the birds shouted in unison. He felt their claws

shouted in unison. He felt their claws dig in as they started to land on his

dig in as they started to land on his shoulders. "Live, live," they said.

shoulders. "Live, live," they said. Theodon, it whispered again. Live gods,

Theodon, it whispered again. Live gods, Stannis said with eyes wide in terror.

Stannis said with eyes wide in terror. King was looking straight at him. Gods.

King was looking straight at him. Gods. Okay, so that was Theon won the Winds of

Okay, so that was Theon won the Winds of Winter. I hope you enjoyed it. Remember,

Winter. I hope you enjoyed it. Remember, uh, like I said, the whole point of this

uh, like I said, the whole point of this is to see whether this illusion was

is to see whether this illusion was convincing. So, before I reveal the the

convincing. So, before I reveal the the the stuff, before I pull back the

the stuff, before I pull back the curtain, pause the video and leave a

curtain, pause the video and leave a comment down below because that's the

comment down below because that's the entire point of this is leave leave a

entire point of this is leave leave a comment down below. What parts of it

comment down below. What parts of it were George's and what part of of it

were George's and what part of of it were mine? Like, can you tell? Was the

were mine? Like, can you tell? Was the illusion convincing? Even if you did see

illusion convincing? Even if you did see through it, like how close did I get?

through it, like how close did I get? I'm very nervous about this because it

I'm very nervous about this because it could go horribly for me. Uh but uh

could go horribly for me. Uh but uh yeah, so I'll tell you um my approach

yeah, so I'll tell you um my approach now. I followed my blueprint. I had a

now. I followed my blueprint. I had a target of 12% Latin. So, uh, I was able

target of 12% Latin. So, uh, I was able to achieve 11.91%

to achieve 11.91% Latin density, which is very appropriate

Latin density, which is very appropriate for Theon's sort of grounded

for Theon's sort of grounded perspective. And then I wrote 3,475

perspective. And then I wrote 3,475 words, which is closer to uh, early Game

words, which is closer to uh, early Game of Thrones chapter length and like Storm

of Thrones chapter length and like Storm of Swords chapter length versus the

of Swords chapter length versus the original, which I thought was a little

original, which I thought was a little meandering. Uh maybe it's actually the

meandering. Uh maybe it's actually the same word count, but it just it just

same word count, but it just it just feels very meandering. I broke the

feels very meandering. I broke the chapter into plot points. So I I read

chapter into plot points. So I I read through the chapter again and I as I was

through the chapter again and I as I was reading I noted down dot jotss on my

reading I noted down dot jotss on my notepad about things that need to happen

notepad about things that need to happen uh in the chapter, plot points that I

uh in the chapter, plot points that I need to hit, information that I need to

need to hit, information that I need to convey, emotional beats that I need to

convey, emotional beats that I need to get to. Um, and then I just took that

get to. Um, and then I just took that and discarded most of the chapter. Uh,

and discarded most of the chapter. Uh, and I rewrote it using the, uh, memory

and I rewrote it using the, uh, memory device to skip tedious negotiations and

device to skip tedious negotiations and deliver information more naturally. And

deliver information more naturally. And I just like ruthlessly cut through a lot

I just like ruthlessly cut through a lot of redundancies. And then I actually

of redundancies. And then I actually mixed in some of Martin's like verbatim

mixed in some of Martin's like verbatim sentences from the sample chapter and

sentences from the sample chapter and other bits of A Song of Ice and Fire

other bits of A Song of Ice and Fire with my own to test if the illusion

with my own to test if the illusion actually works. About 20% of this is

actually works. About 20% of this is verbatim George Martin and the rest is

verbatim George Martin and the rest is me mimicking this voice using the

me mimicking this voice using the blueprint. So that's probably higher

blueprint. So that's probably higher than uh you thought it was uh you know

than uh you thought it was uh you know one in five words is Martin's you know

one in five words is Martin's you know it's it's substantially George Martin's

it's it's substantially George Martin's work and then the rest of it of course

work and then the rest of it of course was you know a fake. Some key changes

was you know a fake. Some key changes from the original chapter that I decided

from the original chapter that I decided on. I moved Theon to the cellar instead

on. I moved Theon to the cellar instead of Stannis's room. I always thought this

of Stannis's room. I always thought this was really weird. Uh, this lets me skip

was really weird. Uh, this lets me skip tedious conversations that Theon

tedious conversations that Theon wouldn't realistically witness while

wouldn't realistically witness while still conveying necessary information

still conveying necessary information through the fragments that he overhears

through the fragments that he overhears and the memories that he has. Also, uh,

and the memories that he has. Also, uh, going a bit further than, uh, George did

going a bit further than, uh, George did and having Theon walk out to the lake

and having Theon walk out to the lake gave me a lot of time to explore the

gave me a lot of time to explore the emotional opportunities that I felt

emotional opportunities that I felt Martin missed in this chapter. Like

Martin missed in this chapter. Like really this whole chapter feels like an

really this whole chapter feels like an exposition dump and we don't really get

exposition dump and we don't really get any thematic exploration or really

any thematic exploration or really exploration of how Theon is feeling. It

exploration of how Theon is feeling. It it's a big mystery about how Theon is

it's a big mystery about how Theon is feeling in this moment and I I really

feeling in this moment and I I really felt that he didn't focus on it. So So I

felt that he didn't focus on it. So So I wanted to focus on how Theon feels uh

wanted to focus on how Theon feels uh about his situation and about Jane Pool

about his situation and about Jane Pool and uh you know exploring his guilt. I

and uh you know exploring his guilt. I always read uh Theon as like starting to

always read uh Theon as like starting to have feelings for Jane Pool. I don't

have feelings for Jane Pool. I don't know if he is in love with her yet or if

know if he is in love with her yet or if he realizes it yet or if he just kind of

he realizes it yet or if he just kind of likes her or something. Um or or whether

likes her or something. Um or or whether it's platonic, but but I thought it was

it's platonic, but but I thought it was appropriate to uh have him realize that

appropriate to uh have him realize that he loves her just as he's about to die.

he loves her just as he's about to die. Uh because I thought that that was kind

Uh because I thought that that was kind of uh you know like a a very George

of uh you know like a a very George thing to do about you know you get the

thing to do about you know you get the heart in conflict with itself and oh my

heart in conflict with itself and oh my god it's it's so terrible but I thought

god it's it's so terrible but I thought that that was appropriate to the chapter

that that was appropriate to the chapter and something that Martin kind of missed

and something that Martin kind of missed the opportunity to do like even if he

the opportunity to do like even if he kept the same sort of chapter dynamic

kept the same sort of chapter dynamic you could easily throw that in there.

you could easily throw that in there. There's no reason you really can't. And

There's no reason you really can't. And then I cut a lot of expository dialogue

then I cut a lot of expository dialogue in favor of just like briefly

in favor of just like briefly summarizing what happened in those uh

summarizing what happened in those uh conversations in memory sequences. Like

conversations in memory sequences. Like uh we really didn't need to to see all

uh we really didn't need to to see all of these. Um and then I improved the

of these. Um and then I improved the pacing a lot by not dwelling on every

pacing a lot by not dwelling on every single negotiation that Stannis has.

single negotiation that Stannis has. There was this dynamic of like one

There was this dynamic of like one person after another coming in the room

person after another coming in the room like it's like it's a a checklist of

like it's like it's a a checklist of plot points that he's trying to hit. Um,

plot points that he's trying to hit. Um, and then I I added a different ending uh

and then I I added a different ending uh because um if Theon is going to die, it

because um if Theon is going to die, it should be Theon dies and right Theon

should be Theon dies and right Theon dies and something and this this should

dies and something and this this should mean something. It should cause

mean something. It should cause something. I also didn't want Theon to

something. I also didn't want Theon to die because, you know, I think everybody

die because, you know, I think everybody who's who's reading this chapter is

who's who's reading this chapter is going to expect me to take the safe

going to expect me to take the safe route uh and and have Theon die. It's

route uh and and have Theon die. It's kind of like what everybody expects, but

kind of like what everybody expects, but I don't have the difficult task of uh

I don't have the difficult task of uh actually following up this chapter and

actually following up this chapter and writing the consequences of uh what

writing the consequences of uh what happens when Theon lives like this. So,

happens when Theon lives like this. So, um yeah, I did I didn't uh start writing

um yeah, I did I didn't uh start writing this with the idea that Theon was going

this with the idea that Theon was going to be alive. Um I I thought I was

to be alive. Um I I thought I was writing a chapter where Theon was going

writing a chapter where Theon was going to die and he was going to be executed

to die and he was going to be executed in front of the heart tree. And I

in front of the heart tree. And I thought, you know what? Maybe maybe I

thought, you know what? Maybe maybe I won't have him die. May maybe I'll just

won't have him die. May maybe I'll just uh have something else happen. And you

uh have something else happen. And you know, things just kind of happened that

know, things just kind of happened that way. A lot more than you might expect

way. A lot more than you might expect was uh Germ's words. People who I showed

was uh Germ's words. People who I showed this to ahead of time uh commented that

this to ahead of time uh commented that I'm going to die today. He thought right

I'm going to die today. He thought right at the start. Didn't really sound like

at the start. Didn't really sound like George, but I actually directly copy

George, but I actually directly copy pasted that from Song of Ice and Fire.

pasted that from Song of Ice and Fire. Uh, his legs betrayed him is also

Uh, his legs betrayed him is also something that uh, George has said

something that uh, George has said before uh, when describing Tyrion

before uh, when describing Tyrion falling down. And then uh, the floor

falling down. And then uh, the floor rushed up is kind of a a georgism. He he

rushed up is kind of a a georgism. He he often describes falling as like the

often describes falling as like the floor rushed up to meet him or the

floor rushed up to meet him or the ground rushed up to meet him or the

ground rushed up to meet him or the water rushed up to meet him. He he likes

water rushed up to meet him. He he likes describing uh, falling that way. Theon,

describing uh, falling that way. Theon, my name is Theon. You have to remember

my name is Theon. You have to remember your name. That's taken from earlier

your name. That's taken from earlier chapters, I think. And then uh the oak

chapters, I think. And then uh the oak door opened with a gust of cold black

door opened with a gust of cold black wind and a swirl of snow is directly

wind and a swirl of snow is directly taken from the sampled chapter. And then

taken from the sampled chapter. And then this entire memory sequence of uh the

this entire memory sequence of uh the escape from Winterfell pretty much

escape from Winterfell pretty much exactly copy pasted from the sample

exactly copy pasted from the sample chapter uh other than uh I changed a few

chapter uh other than uh I changed a few words here and there. My brother's debts

words here and there. My brother's debts is actually something that King Stannis

is actually something that King Stannis says. uh he says it with Taiko notorius

says. uh he says it with Taiko notorius and I ju I just felt that this

and I ju I just felt that this conversation really didn't land well and

conversation really didn't land well and we didn't really need to see it and then

we didn't really need to see it and then the phrasing Lord Bolton would be upon

the phrasing Lord Bolton would be upon them is something that Stannis says in

them is something that Stannis says in that conversation so I just repurposed

that conversation so I just repurposed it and then Theon turncloak is actually

it and then Theon turncloak is actually what Stannis says to Theon. It's one of

what Stannis says to Theon. It's one of the first things that he says. Uh, you

the first things that he says. Uh, you fell. Umber saved her as uh something

fell. Umber saved her as uh something that Stannis says, but again because we

that Stannis says, but again because we don't really have uh the Stannis

don't really have uh the Stannis conversation in this chapter, I wanted

conversation in this chapter, I wanted to save the line and I just attributed

to save the line and I just attributed it to somebody else. And then again, we

it to somebody else. And then again, we have another long gap of uh more of my

have another long gap of uh more of my work until we have Stannis invoking the

work until we have Stannis invoking the law of the north. And I thought um since

law of the north. And I thought um since Stannis knew Ned Stark and spoke to him

Stannis knew Ned Stark and spoke to him at some points, he used the exact words

at some points, he used the exact words of Ned Stark cuz he's consciously

of Ned Stark cuz he's consciously invoking uh Ned here. The man who passes

invoking uh Ned here. The man who passes a sentence must swing the sword or

a sentence must swing the sword or something that Ned Stark said. So that's

something that Ned Stark said. So that's that's basically copied from a Ned

that's basically copied from a Ned chapter. And then I copied another thing

chapter. And then I copied another thing from Ned chapter uh sentencing Theon to

from Ned chapter uh sentencing Theon to die. Um I copied this from brand one and

die. Um I copied this from brand one and just changed um you know the names

just changed um you know the names around. Uh this is actually what Ned

around. Uh this is actually what Ned says. And again, I think it's

says. And again, I think it's appropriate to do because he's invoking

appropriate to do because he's invoking Ned. And you know, it kind of gives a a

Ned. And you know, it kind of gives a a nice little parallel, a nice connection

nice little parallel, a nice connection between uh Stannis and Ned, which I

between uh Stannis and Ned, which I think is not really explored very well

think is not really explored very well in the books. The bit with the ravens

in the books. The bit with the ravens bursting out and kind of attacking the

bursting out and kind of attacking the sword, that's another thing that's

sword, that's another thing that's actually taken from George. Uh, believe

actually taken from George. Uh, believe it or not, this does actually happen in

it or not, this does actually happen in A Clash of Kings. A lot of people seem

A Clash of Kings. A lot of people seem to have missed this one, but uh Blood

to have missed this one, but uh Blood Raven can actually do this. And he does

Raven can actually do this. And he does this to save Samuel's life uh way back

this to save Samuel's life uh way back at like Crers's Keep or something in a

at like Crers's Keep or something in a Clash of Kings. Um I was going to

Clash of Kings. Um I was going to explore this later, but um yeah, the the

explore this later, but um yeah, the the Ravens actually saved Sam almost exactly

Ravens actually saved Sam almost exactly like this. So the uh the idea that they

like this. So the uh the idea that they could do this to Stannis as well, that's

could do this to Stannis as well, that's not actually far-fetched at all. We've

not actually far-fetched at all. We've seen this happen on the page and I kind

seen this happen on the page and I kind of got the sense that uh George needed

of got the sense that uh George needed to get Theon and Stannis in front of

to get Theon and Stannis in front of this tree somehow. Uh it felt like he

this tree somehow. Uh it felt like he was struggling with how to figure out

was struggling with how to figure out how to get them there. Maybe Asha can

how to get them there. Maybe Asha can see that her boyfriend is like watching

see that her boyfriend is like watching them in the tree and thinks that with

them in the tree and thinks that with his help she might be able to escape

his help she might be able to escape with um Theon or or kill Stannis at

with um Theon or or kill Stannis at least. Maybe that's why they're going to

least. Maybe that's why they're going to the tree. Or maybe he just needs to get

the tree. Or maybe he just needs to get them to the tree for this plot device

them to the tree for this plot device uh of something happening with the tree.

uh of something happening with the tree. Maybe the tree speaks to them. Maybe the

Maybe the tree speaks to them. Maybe the ravens interfere. I don't know what's

ravens interfere. I don't know what's going to happen. Anyways, uh that was my

going to happen. Anyways, uh that was my sample chapter for uh the winds of

sample chapter for uh the winds of winter using the blueprint. Hope you

winter using the blueprint. Hope you enjoyed it. So in conclusion, what have

enjoyed it. So in conclusion, what have we learned about George R. Martin's

we learned about George R. Martin's pros? George R. Martin's written voice

pros? George R. Martin's written voice is built on a consistent Latin density

is built on a consistent Latin density of around 12% varied a little bit by

of around 12% varied a little bit by character and situation. He also

character and situation. He also consistently uses the device of memories

consistently uses the device of memories to hide exposition and clues. He also

to hide exposition and clues. He also has strong early editing discipline that

has strong early editing discipline that has weakened over time. And there are a

has weakened over time. And there are a bunch of specific jarisms like dialogue

bunch of specific jarisms like dialogue structure, the use of the memories,

structure, the use of the memories, bodily functions, and uh telling the

bodily functions, and uh telling the reader people's emotions instead of kind

reader people's emotions instead of kind of implying it. The popular criticism

of implying it. The popular criticism that Martin needs uh an editor is

that Martin needs uh an editor is actually quantifiable. I went from

actually quantifiable. I went from cutting 10% in a Game of Thrones to 30

cutting 10% in a Game of Thrones to 30 plus% in Dance with Dragons. But the

plus% in Dance with Dragons. But the core good stuff is still there. Um, I

core good stuff is still there. Um, I think his word choices remain excellent.

think his word choices remain excellent. He just needs to remember how to kill

He just needs to remember how to kill his darlings. Uh, for readers, hopefully

his darlings. Uh, for readers, hopefully understanding these patterns helps you

understanding these patterns helps you read Martin more closely and catch the

read Martin more closely and catch the clues that he plants when he plants

clues that he plants when he plants them. And for writers, um, this

them. And for writers, um, this blueprint gets you surprisingly close to

blueprint gets you surprisingly close to his voice, I think. Um, it's not

his voice, I think. Um, it's not perfect, but I think it's close enough

perfect, but I think it's close enough to show that it's more than just vibes.

to show that it's more than just vibes. Again, don't forget to uh leave a

Again, don't forget to uh leave a comment about whether the Theon chapter

comment about whether the Theon chapter uh fooled you, how much of it fooled

uh fooled you, how much of it fooled you, what you think of this analysis,

you, what you think of this analysis, and whether you've noticed any of these

and whether you've noticed any of these patterns in your own reading, or any

patterns in your own reading, or any other patterns that I missed. Thanks for

other patterns that I missed. Thanks for watching. Take care.

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YouTube Transcript:How to Write Like GRRM + NEW WINDS CHAPTER