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Dr Ravi Zacharias 18 funny stories Part 2 | Yovel Dhavid | YouTubeToText
YouTube Transcript: Dr Ravi Zacharias 18 funny stories Part 2
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Video Summary
Summary
Core Theme
The content is a collection of anecdotes and parables shared by a speaker, illustrating various points about truth, deception, perception, and the human condition, often with a spiritual or philosophical undertone.
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two guys were sitting across the table
and one full of proposed to the other he
said you know I'm thirsty I can't quite
afford a coca-cola but let's have a bet
I'll ask myself a question and if I can
answer it you buy me a coke I says that
doesn't make sense he said no no then
you ask yourself a question and if you
answer it I'll buy you a coke we'll keep
going this way till one of us asked
ourselves a question which we cannot
answer he said that is strange
he said you ask yourself a question if
you answer I buy your coke rasmus of a
question if I answer it if I'm a kook
and we keep going to one of us ask
ourselves a question we can't answer he
said yeah he said works believe me it
works so he said all right since you
proposed it go first he said my question
to me is this how can a rabbit dig a
hole deep into the ground without
throwing mud onto the outside and he
said my answer to my question is it
should start digging from the inside the
other guy looked at him and said how can
I do that he said I don't know that's
sooner or later we run into tripping
ourselves up even when we know what the
some years ago I heard this cute little
story about a Russian about a Texan a
sheriff who had gone into Mexico to look
for a criminal who'd been plundering
their banks the criminals name was Jose Rivera
Rivera
so this sheriff from Texas with a huge
girth about him went into Mexico and he
was going from village to village in
town to town and arrived in this barroom
and he looked at the bartender and said
I hear Jose Rivera hangs around these
parts I am looking for the Bandit Jose
Rivera and the bartender gradually
raised his eyes and he said see the man
at the corner table there yes that's
Jose Rivera man you're looking for but I
want to tell you he doesn't speak
English so the sheriff said well you do
why don't you interpret for me so they
walked over to the corner the sheriff
looked at him and said are you Jose
Rivera and the interpreter looked at the
man and says he wants to know if you're
Jose Rivera was there varsa Rivera says
send tell him yes what about it so he
looks at the sheriff and says Jose
Rivera says yes what about it
the sheriff says tell him that I need to
know where every penny is from all these
banks he's wronged where he put it away
I want to find out where he's got them
stashed and if he doesn't tell me where
it is and I don't get it back I'm gonna
shoot to kill
so he looks at Jose Rivera says the
sheriff here says he needs every penny
back he wants to know where you have
stashed all this money away where you
put it away and if you don't tell him
where it is he's gonna shoot to kill
so Jose Rivera pauses and says okay tell
him just about his bar make a left turn
go for about a hundred yards he'll see
you well right next to that well you see
antek tree towards the portion of the
well from the tree if he digs a hole
about three feet deep there's an
encasement built out of concrete all the
bags of money are right there tell him
he can get it and to take it and to
leave me alone so the interpreter looks
now why do I not need to interpret that
story for you at least for most of you
probably get it because you see when the
truth does not serve your purposes
all of a sudden truth doesn't matter
when I was a little boy and my
I was going to say this but can say
Cheyenne I used a very nice word best
academic stardom kill my love if I will
mother and my mother was a very innocent
lady well monkey can its ethical Benegal
there were five of us cookie five of us
children who can endure Kamsa and she
would bring cookies into the house oh
can it to keep psychic Ikeda our cookies
little bit and she would leave it in the
kitchen with Sababa and I would walk
there and keep looking at those cookies
you know about solitude out of aluminum
and then I would look around my dinner
how I am
take one of them hidaka blah Allah to
wipe off the crumbs Martine am stiii
Adela Gary now my mother was very smart
Monte Kenneth the kie she always counted
them iodine mechanic but Idol Laura I
will be Scott element goodness but she
was so innocent like a naked Alba Nevada
she would look at them
I ain't was together somebody has eaten
one he had a colada and she would look
at me first
but in those didn't allow did you eat
that in talega and you know what I would say
say
diamond cutter volley do you really
think I'm that kind of person that can
be allowed this decree on among Kaname
kid and then she would feel so bad all
right in that has December I heave she'd
say oh no no no I'm so sorry I'm sorry
- and as forgiving anatomic see how we
play with words say 11 kill em on
Kanyama d how we use language they I
can't help but think of a story of a
gathering in an English club but there
was a Japanese gentleman sitting at a
table looking rather nervous and
Englishman walked in and seeing him
figured he might want to instruct him on
English etiquette before the meal began
so the man sat there nervously and the
Englishman picked up the knife and said
this be knife II and they picked up the
fork and said and this be for K and this
be spooning and this be play T and the
Japanese gentleman just kept nodding
very courteously after the preliminaries
were over much to the shock of the
English gentleman the Japanese was the
keynote speaker and he got up and
delivered his stock in flawless English
and he went and sat down and looked at
the Englishmen and said you like a
speech he just tell you a little bit
about my own story so you know where I'm
coming from in this journey I was born
in England at a very young age my
parents moved to the Middle East so I
spent my childhood in in Dubai and
Sharjah in the 70s and then in Riyadh in
Saudi Arabia and I really knew nothing
about the Christian faith I had no
Christian exposure really at all during
my childhood and when I was about 16 my
parents moved to a country called Cyprus
now when my parents moved to Cyprus I
really at that stage as an older
teenager I only had one the desire in
life and that desire was to be cool I
believed that if I was cool that that
would make me happy now I used to watch
a huge number of films a massive number
of films a very unreasonable number of
films Cyprus had very lacks
interpretations of copyright laws we
could get videos on VA
chess if you know what that is if you
don't know what that is speak to someone
older and wiser than you we used to get
it on video before it had its world
premiere and so I used to want to act
like I saw in the movies and so all the
images that I saw in the movies I wanted
for myself now one of my heroes
therefore all of my heroes actually were
actors one of them was a man who
amazingly has never won an Oscar despite
producing an amazing and very impressive
body of work he may be familiar with him
his name is Arnold Schwarzenegger he was
someone I very much wanted to be like
one of his film starts with him walking
up a mountain carrying a tree on his
shoulder and as he has the tree on his
shoulder a whole tree he's also smoking
a cigar and I wanted to be like him now
I don't have the build to carry trees so
they're part of the image I could take
for myself was that of smoking cigars so
I used to smoke Cuban cigars I used to
think that made me cool another one of
my heroes was James Bond and I wanted to
be like James Bond in the novels and in
the early films James Bond had a silver cigarette-case
cigarette-case
I had a silver cigarette-case I had my
initials engraved in the bottom
right-hand corner now this all is true
and it is sad I'm sorry to admit it in
many ways but sadly it is true not only
would I carry my cigarettes around in a
silver cigarette case
I was so desirous to live out this image
that you know on a box of matches a
little stripe and you strike a match
against it to light it well I used to
remove that and stick it to the bottom
of my shoe
so having flipped open the case and
flicked a cigarette into my mouth I
could take a match light it like I'd
seen happen in the westerns now I got
that idea from Clint Eastwood who for me
was the coolest of them all there was no
one cooler than him so Morgan's wants
interviewing at Eastwood and they said
mr. Eastwood why does everybody think
you're so cool and he looked at them and
he took a little cigarillo out of his
pocket he put it on the table he flicked
it so it started spinning in the air
while it was spinning in the air
he produced a match from his back pocket
and struck it lighted lighting it under
the table he then caught the cigar in
his mouth Lititz inhale very deeply blue
one big smoke ring three little smoke
rings threw the big smoke ring and said
I don't know somebody wrote to me last
week you know one of the things I really
appreciate is all the advice I get my
mother-in-law's the chief of them and
every time she gives me some advice I
say today you know mom I'm amazed I
travel around the world and manage
without all the wisdom you give along
the way and we have a marvelous
relationship I say tongue-in-cheek but
one gentleman wrote to me and he said I
used to live in Salt Lake and so on and
so forth he said you know the folks out
there really love funny stories so he
said make sure you I don't know what he
thought my face wasn't funny enough for
what it was but
so let me abide by his advice because
the message is gonna be heavy so I'll
give you a little light-hearted story
here which will segue into what I really
want to say to you you may have heard me
tell this before but it's always at
least one person who hasn't so here it
is as a bagpiper I play many games
recently I was asked by funeral director
to play at the graveside service for a
homeless man he had no family of friends
so the service was to be at a proper
Cemetery in the Kentucky back country as
I was more familiar with the backwoods I
got lost I finally arrived an hour late
and saw the funeral guy had evidently
gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight
there were only the diggers and the crew
left and they were eating lunch
I felt bad and apologized to the man for
being late I went to the side of the
grave and looked down at the vault lid
was already in place I don't know what
else to do so I started to play the
workers put down their lunches and began
to gather round
I played out my heart and soul for this
man with no family and friends I played
like I'd never played before for this
homeless man and as I played Amazing
Grace the workers began to weep they
wept I wept we all wept together when I
finished I packed up my bagpipes and started
started
my car though my head hung low my heart
was full as I opened the door to my car
I heard one of the workers say to
another never seen nothing like that
before and I've been putting in septic
you know there's nothing like being at
the wrong place with the wrong
instrument in the wrong mood and the
wrong message and hearing the right
comment at the end of it all that are
wonderful to know that no we're not
dreaming we are here at the moment
Tabernacle and we are guests of the
leadership here it's been a great great
morning already for you but I guess he
feels I have to pay my dues so I have to
say a few things but I must say when I
was a teenager I used to walk around the
and God has a way of honoring your faith
because just as I came on the platform a
gentleman from among you walked over and
shook my hand and said I'm delighted to
meet you mr. Boone I thought that's what
he said and then he went on to say when
you graduated from Columbia in 1950 so I
said I think you're mistaking me my name
is Ravi Zacharias he said I'm so sorry I
thought you were Pat Boone now I've
but the trance of mrs. ation of a man to
look like Pat Boone from my background
that I can hardly wait to get home and
tell my brothers and sisters that I was
called mr. Boone now next time somebody
comes up to me and says I'm delighted to
meet you mr. Presley and and we have no
10% of the people still believe that
Elvis Presley is alive so thanks Pat
it's great to see you great to hear from
you and just what you've done for God
across the years and for your country
just thank your family for sparing really
really [Applause]
[Applause]
I still have your lp's I can still try
to sing Bernardin but nowhere near the
way you did you may not even remember it
but in my teens I wrote to you and you
never reply so it's happy they made sure
that I'm not making all this up this is
true story stole of these two Australian
sailors were just disembarked from a
ship in England and we're walking into
town that night and found their way into
a pub and they enjoyed themselves
sois the evening and had one too many
walked out of that pub into a dense
London Fog completely disoriented they
were wobbling on their feet looking
around trying to get some help when they
saw a gentleman coming into the pub
unknown to them was a highly decorated
naval officer and as he came close to
one of them said to him say you bloke
can you tell us where we are
the officer quite offended looked at the
men and said do you men know who I am
at which point one of the sailors said
to the other we're really in a mess now
we don't know where we are and he
imagine as we begin this century we are
trying to define who we are the
following illustration when I wrote it
out I said oh boy if I say this
somebody's gonna wonder what I'm saying
so I'm only going to state this
humorously and sarcastically please
listen no where is our escape from
reality more visible than in the
cosmetic industry across this world
which tries to hide so many things
listen the cosmetic industry has
exploded into a multi-billion dollar
business churning out products to make
us look better smell better or feel
younger and a dozen other innocent forms
of disfigurement
so creams are invented to smoothen the
wrinkles and patch up the cracks colors
and dyes are created to reverse the gray
in our hair oils are massaged into our
skin to make it feel softer and adver
adverted advertisements with their
blatant Buncombe scream out at us that
we can walk off ten years of our
apparent age if we eat drink sniff or
rub their product into our systems then
what the cosmetics cannot do surgeons
say they can they stretch our skins to
make us look more youthful implant more
hair to make us look more bushy headed
draft on skin and plastic surgery with
the dimples in the right places and
narrow the nose and chin down to look
like what we wished we did but alas the
surgeon can transplant only so much
finally it is cancer or a heart attack
that lands us in the coffin so what do
we do we make a final outlandish effort
to slap on enough cream and dip into the
morticians cosmetic bag to make that
final attempt so that everyone then
passes by in that ultimate death-denying
compliment he looks just like himself
if there is any time in his life he
doesn't look like himself
when my daughter Sarah was only 2 we
were crossing over from Jordan across
the West Bank into Israel never forget it
it
here was 1977 and at that time you cross
over the Allenby bridge I'm sure many of
you here have done that you'd spend
about two hours standing in line and
people are restless
Sarah was being held in Margie's arms
and we'd prepared her for a long day she
was a little over 2 and at one point she
just looked around and of course the
Israeli soldiers of our armed to the
teeth out there she didn't know any
better she looked at one of these
soldiers and said excuse me sir do you
he was stunned he took off his gun and
gave it to a colleague and came over to
Margie and put his arms out to Sara and
she went to him he took her into a back
room and now I began to get worried and
he came back five minutes later with a
tray three glass of lemonade on them one
for little Sara one for my wife one for
me and he waved us over put us in his
Jeep took us to a taxi stand and we were
on our way through Jericho into
Jerusalem Sara earned her whole keep in
that one question what is it that
disarmed a man like that what is it that
caused a man just for a moment to forget
the intensity of his role to keep guard
was the voice of a little child and the
innocence of that little child who had
no clue what was really happening I host
was Sammy dagger if you've never been
with Sammy dagger this side of heaven
you have missed something he's short as
a teddy bear
but these pardon the analogy is like a
packet of dynamite he doesn't even say
good morning without expending more
energy then I would in a sermon how are
you my brother and he gives you that big
hug Sammy knows no fear and his wife is
English he's Lebanese wife is English
her name is joy she needed to have that
name to put up with this guy and here's
the story they are driving at 11 o'clock
at night and he sees a suitcase on the
side of the highway sitting unattended
only Sammy would think of getting off
the car to check on it he says darling
there is a suitcase on the side of the
road she says Sammy it's not ours in any
part of Lebanon you don't check somebody
else's suitcase on the side of the road
unless you're Sammy and he gets off and
he Pat's it he says darling it's full
she's a semi
leave it alone he says somebody must
have lost it
she said obviously he picks it up and
puts it into their van and she's having
kittens heading back home while he's
celebrating that he's found somebody's suitcase
suitcase
he takes it into the house and she
leaves the room he opens it you know
what he sees there every square inch
money nobody ever has that experience
and says why me Lord he dumps the money
out and he sees a business card and he
looks at the telephone number and about
midnight he phones and a voice picks it
up and Sammy says to him are you mr.
so-and-so and he said yes why are you
calling he says have you lost anything
that man is and pin-drop silence he says
have you found it he says yes on the
side of the road he says it's full of
money he says yes I was trying to leave
the country emptied my bank account put
it in a suitcase and tied it on the top
of my car and I'm heading to the airport
and it must have blown off when I came
back I couldn't find it Sammy says I
have it and I don't think anything is
missing there's no room it's full the
man is so shocked he says can I come
he's another no it's curfew now if I had
any other plans for your suitcase I
wouldn't be calling you
he says you come tomorrow morning this
is my address pick it up so the guy
comes the next morning picks it up he
stunned that a man has turned in this
kind of money so he dips in and he lifts
this money and he says you're a pastor
he says yes he says give this to your
church Sammy says I only take an
offering like this on Sundays you come
so the guy comes to church and he puts
that money and he can't get over it
the night I was leaving this man had
come with his family and Sammy was
hosting him for tea and then he was
taking me to the port and I'm sitting
there while they're talking in their
language and Sammy keeps interpreting
and then at one point
Sammy takes a Bible for him for this
man's wife for his children he has a
Bible and here's what he said you
thought you had lost your treasure he
said who really wants Lebanese money
he said you thought this was treasure he
said I'll give you the treasure that
moth will not devour that thieves cannot
break in to steal and he gave every one
of them a Bible this man could not stop
weeping and the tears are running down
his face he takes that Bible and kisses
it and holds it against his arm and I
watched as Sammy had the privilege of
praying with this family and giving them
the greatest treasure they could ever
this evening while we were walking out
of the hotel my travel associate Philip
9 could have been rather flattered
thinking there were 75 cameras lined up
and a big crowd outside our hotel yes we
waved you know probably we could have
thought wonderful they are coming to see
Ravi and Phillip leave the hotel but
nobody batted an eyelid suddenly Reuben
didn't bat an eyelid he was just quite
happy we were ordinary people they were
not there for us they were there for the
two cricket teams do you know what it's
a great game but something about a bat
and a ball you know I love cricket and I
think of the emotional energy people
spend I mean I love sports you wonder bother
great batsmen great ball and that's fine
I'm very very happy bindiya beats up
everybody but that in itself is a pipe dream
dream
you feel like saying Oh Lord will you
not please allow to happen you know some
some months ago somebody told me this
this is no longer true and I'm so glad
I'm a cricket fan by the way
somebody said about this couple that
went to court and they were wanting to
separate and the little boy was to be a
warden and so the judge said I think I
will award him to his father and the
little boy said no no no please don't do
this because my father beats me he said
okay then I'll give you to your mother
he said please don't do this judge my
mother beats me too he says then what am
i what am I going to do he said I think
I'll give you two the Indian cricket
I'm glad it's not true anymore the boys
are doing well maybe my life is in
danger when I go back to the hotel
tonight now pause for laughter here I
was in Jordan and I had gone into a shop
in a man to have a passport photograph
taken and the missionary had taken me
there and missionary was talking to the
man across the counter there were all
kinds of Muslim people sitting around in
benches were just sitting there having
up and the missionary decided to
introduce me to the photographer how the
owner of the store and to tell him that
I was speaking at the YMCA at night he'd
be very welcome to come and he says ah
Hindu which is Arabic for Indian and he
reached out and gave me a class very
appreciative of the Indian people and so
on so then the norm the missionary said
to him he is not a Hindu by religion
he's an Indian but he's actually a
Christian he's a follower of Christ that
stopped him for a moment and he said oh
then he says to norm to ask me what I
think of Mohammed how do you like that
you know that's yours disallowed
conversation going through an
interpreter and he wants me to answer
what I think of Mohammed well all these
Muslim men and women are sitting around
there waiting for their photograph to be
taken so I looked at norm camp and I
said look norm why don't you answer it
since I don't speak his language
he said no no no he's asked you you know
that's really like saying do you want to
be shot or lynched or whatever then I
said do you really want me to answer it
he said yeah I said all right tell me
he said yes number two I said was
Muhammad a prophet he said yes I said
can a prophet lie he paused on that one
because the deed said yes then he's got
a problem with Muhammad if he said no
he's gonna have a king-sized headache
with Jesus on that issue you know can
the prophet of God lie he paused a long
while and said no I said Jesus was a
prophet muhammad said Jesus was a
prophet okay yes yes and the Prophet
so that's right I said now Jesus claimed
to be the only way to God I said if
Jesus is right Muhammad is wrong on the
other hand if Jesus is wrong Muhammad is
still wrong because he said Jesus was right
[Music]
thank you thank you thank you thank you
you know that is the most accurate
introduction I've ever had about me
because the less said the better because
I have got more degrees while I'm being
introduced than I ever got when I was
going and studying I've had more things
said about me that have happened that
probably never did but it sounds
extremely good it's like the guy who was
introduced to speak at a conference and
they were tea they were told as an
audience that this man made a ten
million dollar profit in the stock
market in New York and he was going to
talk about it and so when a man stood up
he said I want to make a few Corrections
it really wasn't
ten million it was 20 million it really wasn't
wasn't
dollars it was pounds it wasn't in New
York it was in London it wasn't me it
was my brother and it wasn't made it was
lost better not to have a video and not
dissapoint than to have a video and then disappoint
disappoint
Caleb great to see you here I wish I
could read his letter to you I just was
flying back from Thailand three four
days ago and on my way to LA to do an
open forum at UCLA when my staff had
sent me this letter and I started
reading it about him wishing I would
come to his place for Thanksgiving and
by the time he described the menu I was
salivating and longing to dig into those
mashed potatoes and made me want to look
forward to Thanksgiving next year Caleb
I hope I'll do it someday but two days
in the year my family will never let me
go that's Christmas and Thanksgiving so
maybe sometime in the year of you home
hold a mock Thanksgiving dinner we'll
come and celebrate it together but your
mom did a great job writing that letter
and I'll treasure your letter it's on my
blackberry I remember when I was a
graduate school sent my doctrinal
examination question and we had these
tiny little apartments and you had to
get no help
just your Bible next to you and it was a
multiple page thing and the opening
question was God is
perfect explain so I turned to my wife
and said the only more difficult thing I
could think of his define God and give
two examples now the fascinating thing
the fascinating thing about that
question is there was just this much of
space in which to do the explaining and
I was grateful for that because the
longer the answer the greater the
possibility of harrassing on something
like that so I don't sit in one line
he's the only entity in existence the
reason for whose existence is in himself
all other entities of quantities exist
by virtue of something else and in that
sense he alone is perfect my honor to be
with you here at Princeton German
they're very close to Bangladesh
Washington University of the Middle East
meetings and I'm golovkin estates of
China in Canada in the United Kingdom
Istanbul in Ankara and Izmir in the
universe that they have father many
learned the Philippines so the global
family of humanity is really like what
John Wesley would have said the world is
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