The core theme is that community, connection, and individual acts of compassion are vital in preventing suicide, highlighting that even small efforts can make a significant difference in saving lives.
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a few years ago i was on a trip to south
dakota with some friends and we had this
mission to climb this mountain we called
the butte
i remember being in one of the lowest
moments of my life as my battle with
depression and suicidal thoughts was
weighing heavily on me
i remember standing at the base of this
butte thinking
how in the world am i going to climb
that mountain
it was in that moment i had a friend he
walked up to me
and he said come on haley let's do this
i'll carry you if i need to
so there i was at 19 years old with my
depression my anxiety and my back
problems which i still have today
climbing this butte
it wasn't easy
but i made it to the top
and the view
did you know that if you're by yourself
standing and staring at a mountain that
you're about to climb your brain
perceives that mountain to be 20 percent
steeper than the mountain that you see
while standing next to someone who's
going to climb it with you
so our brains are literally more
resilient when we're together
that's the power of community
and i believe this power can help heal
our broken world to create one without suicide
suicide
because we need it desperately
research shows that in america suicide
is the second leading cause of death in
ages 10 to 34 years old
while it's a leading cause of death in
americans it's also the most preventable
just as this is a community issue we
need a community resolution
because when professional resources are
slim in today's world
preventing suicide comes down to all of
us all of you
and it is possible
i just never believed it until it
happened to me
because you see three years ago you
couldn't have told me that i would be
here let alone on this stage
three years ago there i was on my
bedroom floor
shaking and crying
as i googled the quickest way to kill yourself
staring at a bottle of pills in my desk
i wondered how many i would need to take
to die
i didn't think i could have the strength
to live anymore to to face another day
i was so far in the suck as i call it that
that
i didn't think that i could go on anymore
and see as i look back i
it's not necessarily that i wanted to
die it's just that i didn't want to live
the life that i was currently living
and so in my mind years of battling
intense depression anxiety ptsd and
self-harm had caught up with me and so i
believe that my fight with suicidal
thoughts would be over at just 20 years old
old
i just wanted the pain to end
and it was in these final moments that
i had a friend call me completely
completely
out of the blue to check in
and even though he didn't know exactly
what to say he listened and knowing that
i wasn't alone gave me the strength to
fight and i survived that horrible night
as i began my journey in therapy i found
ways to manage my mental health and i
eventually had the courage to ask for
help and as i did people rallied with me
and stayed with me even throughout the
covet 19 pandemic
i even had a professor who wanted to
facetime me every single day from the
start of the pandemic until i graduated
in may of 2020 to ensure that i would be okay
okay
i built a support network of people who
know how to care how to listen and how
to act in those next suicidal moments
and they're the reason that i'm here today
today
because with the right tools
resources and people around you
life can absolutely become worth living
almost every person i've talked to who
survived a suicide attempt has told me
that the moments between life and near
studies indicate that almost every
suicidal crisis is temporary
and if we could reach people in those
moments where the emotional and mental
pain is too heavy
to get them help then maybe just maybe
because when resources are slim in
today's world we all have to work
this is something that we all need to be
equipped on
because according to the cdc since the
beginning of the covet 19 pandemic
suicide attempts in young people
escalated by nearly 50 percent
the pandemic stripped us all of
community of each other
the surge in extreme mental distress has
left parents teachers health care
providers scrambling to find urgently
needed help
in a broken mental health care system
this is all something that we need to be
equipped and educated on
and i understand that we're not all
mental health professionals trust me i
completely understand that but if we
could work together to create a world
where we could all thrive and not just survive
survive
then maybe we could learn to climb this
so as we stand back and we look at this
giant looming problem in today's world
we understand that we have already lost
far too many lives
how do we even begin to make a difference
i'm reminded of this old story by lauren
c eisley and it's about an old man who's
walking along the beach and he sees this
little girl who seems to be running up
and down the beach frantically
and as the old man inches closer he
realizes that hundreds of starfish had
washed up along the shore
and the little girl is trying to save
each one before they dry
out so the old man he's a little puzzled
by this and as he inches closer to the
girl he realizes that she's trying to
save all of them but he doesn't
understand why so he goes up to her and
he says little girl
look at all these starfish
you can't save all of them
you can't even begin to make a difference
difference
so you should just give up you should
and that's when the little girl
picks up a starfish looks at the old man
throws it into the ocean and says but i
i made a difference to that one
the old man was so moved by this girl's
example that he began helping her in her
mission and eventually people passing
along the beach joined in and all the
just showing up for one person
i was reminded of this three years ago
after founding a suicide prevention
non-profit called the gray matters collective
collective
i was trying so hard to reach people in
the gray area who were hurting and i i
honestly just felt like i wasn't getting anywhere
and about a year later i received a
handwritten letter
from someone that i graduated college with
with
who was involved with our gray matters
chapter on campus and
in this letter he wrote haley
i never told you this
but that night of the first gray matters event
event
but i walked
into that event
knowing and seeing how many people
showed up knowing that one person in
that room cared about my life i walked
away with something that i haven't felt
you may not change the world
you
you have everything you need to make a
difference you have a heart
people who are suicidal they they don't
need to be lectured
this is about empathy not shame not
guilt compassion
let's see people for who they are as
they are
let's talk about mental health just as
much as we talk about this crazy weather
come on midwesterners you know what i'm
talking about
let's understand that self-care is more
than a trendy term or a fad or a t-shirt
it's not just about laying in the
bathtub with some cucumbers over the
eyes listening to some music because
while that does sound nice
understanding that mental health is
health and it should be a priority
let's create
support groups in workplaces schools
gyms jails churches everywhere creating
spaces to commune and to belong
let's ask people if they're okay on the
regular if we see someone crying in
public let's walk towards them not walk
away from them
we need people
to be leaders
by volunteering for suicide prevention non-profits
non-profits
showing up to events showing people that
because
this next one's a little bold but
what if we all worked together to create
a world where compassion was valued over compensation
compensation
compassion over condemnation
understanding that our words can hurt
people or they can help people
and we get to choose
because with compassion we can advocate
for more mental health training housing
security food security working to end
homelessness standing up for those being
bullied making mental health a priority
in every school in every workplace
we need you
to act urgently and act now
because mental illness doesn't
discriminate it takes lives every single day
people do not commit suicide
people die by suicide
die by depression
die by loneliness
die by bullying the list
and while we might not be able to do
everything change everything we can do
can you imagine if just each person
listening to this prioritized one more
person who was hurting
even if that person
because one of the best things you can do
do
to prevent suicide is to take care of you
because even if you feel broken tattered
and torn understand that even the
brightest glow sticks have to break
before they shine
your story is worth being told
and if you're listening to this and you
feel like you don't want to live anymore
i need you
to listen to me
i need you to understand
that you are not a burden
your presence on this earth makes a
difference there is something we would
miss if you were not here
and if you don't believe me call the
suicide hotline
talk to a friend or a family member talk
to someone that you trust
go to a support group
take a look at the people who fight for
because yes we might not be able to take
life is messy and it's hard and it sucks
sometimes and it might not get better
but you get better
you are worth everything
we want you to stay in
and no not necessarily for us stay for you
you
stay for the ice cream you haven't
tasted the sunsets you haven't seen
the hugs you've yet to experience the
places you have yet to be
stay for all the people you're going to
because life
is worth living
and if we put our hands over our hearts
we can feel the evidence of being alive
and we can understand
you are worth
could you have the courage to reach out
to talk to someone why
why
because you
you are worth so much love even if you
don't feel it sometimes even if it
doesn't feel like you deserve that all
the time
you're not alone
we're standing right next to you
we'll carry you if we need to
we need you to be here
to see the life that's waiting for you
at the top
of the butter [Applause]
[Applause] you
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