A guy buying you flowers does not mean
he loves you. A guy marrying you does
not indicate love. A guy giving you
money does not indicate love. A guy
taking you out on dates does not
indicate love. A guy buying you
expensive things does not indicate love.
Do you know what actually indicates
love? When a man does something money
cannot buy. You know what it is? It's
when a man actually burns when they see
you burning. A man that puts your
happiness before his. A man that
actually sees all the flaws you has and
choose you. Chooses you. Always chooses
you. A man that knows that he can get
better. Yeah. Cuz in all honesty,
everybody could get better, but still
chooses you because to to him, you're
the best. That's that's what indicates
love. Anything else is
bull sexual relationship is very
complicated. Many men are superficial
surface level and they are not
trustworthy. A man sexing you does not
mean he loves you. A man gifting you
does not mean he loves you. Like she
already said, many men are manipulative
and are out to use women. They see women
as a tool to play their game. A man
getting married does not mean that he's
now a new creature. Does not mean that
he's brand new. He has changed his ways.
Does not mean that. It just might mark
the beginning of the woman getting the
worst part of him. Is it appropriate to
still be to still have a relationship
with a person who used to be in a
long-term relationship with now that she
married?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Finish the
question. I'm I'mma dive a little deep.
I'mma dive a little deep. Give him some
Let him Let him Let him Hey, hey, hey.
He brought it out me. I'm ready to talk
now. Go ahead. Let him talk. All right.
Now, this person used to be your person
before I was married, but I still want
to be good friends with him, but my wife
has an issue with it. I'm trying to
figure out how to make it be okay with
me still being friends. Just Just
friends. Just friends. Not only are you
a walking contradiction, but you got
your relationship looking like a joke.
And I'm going tell you why, right?
Because as long as that woman that has
seen your penis can have access to you,
she'll feel like she always has the up
on your wife. And you as a married man,
it is your job to never in this world
give anybody a up on your wife. Can you
have access to her? And he lost your
Get
that. Get that out of his hand. Who's
that man? Hold on. You bad man.
A man can marry you and not want you. A
man can literally, I'm not playing,
marry you and you're not the woman he
really wants. You are the one he has
settled for when he was ready to be
married. If ever the woman he really
wants to be with, the woman he really
wants to marry, ever becomes available,
he's going to either move around from
you, cheat on you, still be married to
you. Some of these men will do this. I'm
a life coach. I've been a life coach for
over a decade. 40% of my practice have
been men. And over the years, these men
have shared these things with me. There
has there have been men that I have
worked with that have been married in
partnerships, long partnerships, long
romantic relationships with women they
never wanted, with women they settled
for because she was a good woman. She
did what she wanted. She did what she
needed to do to be a good woman to him.
She cooked, she cleaned, she took care
of the kids, she took care of the house.
But the minute that the the woman that
they really wanted became available,
they started tricking off on the woman
that they have been with. A man will be
with you for years and you're not the
one he really wants to be with. This is
a little bit different than that video I
put out about you may be his second
choice. You may not have even been a
choice because the woman he wanted
probably moved around from him cuz he
wasn't [ __ ] He probably up and then he
settled for you. A place mat, a
placeholder. That doesn't mean you're
not worthy of love and doesn't mean
you're not a good woman. But if you are
at all confused in your relationship, if
that man leaves you confused, if you
don't know where you stand, if you know
that he's not coming home at night, if
you know you want to always check his
phone, you want to check his location,
you want to check his socials, you spend
your time
stalking, you know the answer to all of
your questions already. Move around. Do
not waste your good years, your good
life, your good beauty on a man that
doesn't deserve you and that doesn't
even want you. I love you. You can never
satisfy a man. There is no guarantee
that the man will not cheat on his dream
girl. It's all about game for a lot of
men out there. Ladies, always put
yourself first. Do not leave your life
to satisfy any man. Just do you and the
world will adjust. 50% of marriages end
up in divorce. Do you know that over
half of the divorce filings have the
word Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter in
them as part of the of the divorce
proceedings? It's one of the reasons
that led to divorce. And here's what it
usually is. Somebody has reconnected
with a old love or they shot their shot,
right? They risked it all to DM somebody
and they never even met them and was and
and it still cost them their marriage.
Just the exchange that they were having.
Oh, you know, they're texting each other
and then they're leaving little voice
notes and then they're talking on the
phone for four and five hours and that
emotional soul tie is as powerful as the
physical one. Like their bodies didn't
even come together and you say you have
to end this relationship now and it's
like you don't understand the love I
have for them. I can't tell you how many
people I know right now who cheated on
their spouses with the person and now
instead of restoring the marriage,
they're about to get married to the to
the side chick. Can I slow down right
here? You about to marry your side chick
and you honestly think you about to stay
faithful to her for the next 20 years.
At at some point, the familiarity is
going to breed cold with this one. You
thought you upgraded from a iPhone 12 to
a iPhone 14 and you like that one. And
guess what? A iPhone 15's coming out
with just a little bit more clarity in
the third camera. And you like, you know
what? I think I need that one. Breaking
soul ties is hard. The problem today is
not the women, it's the men. There's too
many weak men out here that exist. Y'all
overweight, not in shape, y'all eat
terrible food. All you do is lust and
enjoy. You don't want to have a family.
Like, what are you doing? You're ruining
the whole society. It's a lot of people
that blame women, but it's really the
men because we create everything. Y'all
want to complain about the women?
There's no good women left. will blame
the men because the men are responsible
for accepting the weak women. You got
strip clubs. You got Only Fans. Y'all
want women to stop this stuff? Then stop
paying. Stop spending your money on only
fans. Women only do it because they know
that men are going to pay for it. So you
got to blame the men. It's too many of
y'all that's weak. Y'all can't stop
doing drugs. Y'all can't stop drinking.
You can't get in the gym. You don't want
to raise a family. You want to party,
drink, enjoy until you 50 years old.
Loser. That's a loser. Where's your
discipline? Where's the control? Where's
the self-control? You don't have any.
You have zero. And it's coming from
somebody that never had a father. I
never had a father in my life. And when
he wasn't around without having a valid
excuse, I understood how weak he was.
Does that give me the right to do the
same thing he did? And that's what men
do. They'll blame other people for their
mistakes or their laziness or their
excuses. If you're a real man, you're
gonna change the whole situation. No
matter how negative people were in your
family, no matter how nobody was there
for you, you're going to change the
whole narrative if you're a real man.
Because if you don't, guess what? The
people after you are going to be weaker
and weaker and weaker and weaker. So
someone has to step in and put their
foot down and say, "I'm going to change
this." So y'all complain about the women
online, there's no good women left.
Guess what? Stop giving them money. Stop
supporting what they do. If they're
naked, stop commenting, liking their
photos. We're the problem. Don't blame
the women. It's the men. For most men
out there, their focus is sex, and they
are willing to do anything for it. Most
men out there are working so hard so
they can have enough money that will
give them access to women because they
believe that all women love money and
with good amount of money they can get
any woman they so desire to get. But we
know that is not right. Some men see
relationship with women as them playing
video game. You know with some video
games you need to get coins to have
access. So they go out there work so
hard for the money so they can have
access to the women of their dreams.
Shockingly a lot of men think alike.
They think this way when it comes to
relationship with women, they see it as
game and they've got rules that governs
this game. What I would love for women
to understand about men is that for them
the game is the game. A lot of men who
are in their prime, and side note, being
in their prime for men is about having
money and having access, not about age
necessarily. But a lot of men who are in
their prime, their entertainment, their
fun, their sports in life is women. So
they're just trying to sample as many
different types of women as they can.
And they are trying to do this spending
as little time, energy, effort, and
money with each woman as they can. So
what men will do is they will give each
other heads up. So I always talk about a
CRB check, which is basically where a
guy checks your background. A CRB check
is not always to check your virtue. A
CRB check can often just be to check
your temperature. So, a lot of women
will not notice this, but men when they
see them out and maybe they pass them by
or if you're looking at a guy showing
interest, he will check with the men
around him. And side note, he won't even
have to check. If that guy friends can
see that you're interested in him or
he's interested in you, they will
volunteer any information they have
about you. So, a man can turn around to
his girl and say, "Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
you can you can chop that." And they
will let that man know the caveats. So
they will be like, "Oh yeah, you can
chop that, but she likes money, so you
got to take out a couple of times." Or
they will let him know like, "Oh yeah,
yeah, my friend chopped that. Like he
had to do blah blah blah blah, but yeah,
he chopped." And basically the bottom
line of the information they will give
is whether that guy can smash you.
Basically, whether he should waste his
time trying to smash you. So guys will
also say things like, "If you're a woman
that doesn't give it up easily, oh,
she's long, like don't like don't waste
your time, basically." And just a side
note for those of us who have male
friends, your male friends will say
these things about you as well to their
male friends because there is male and
female friendships, but there is also
the rules that govern male or male
friendships. And for men, the
withholding of information about other
women kind of makes you just look
simpish. For a man, men can think like,
do you love her? Like, why are you
withholding this information? Like, if
you want her, just marry her. Like, why?
like they don't respect other men who
don't give information forthcomingly
about women and then their mind will
start to go to places like oh is it that
you wanted to sleep with her but you
couldn't and now you're like why are you
withholding the information is she your
sister like men just don't respect it
and I know for women it's very hard for
us to understand
because but that's how men think and
operate and they really do not see as
disrespectful to share this information
about the females around them because
every guy who's in his prime want is
going to want to be in his prime with
other males and you always want to be
respected by other males. I'm sure a lot
of us know men love each other like they
love their boys. The respect of the
mandm is the most crucial thing to them.
The fact is nobody wants to look like a
s. All men want to look like a striker.
Football terminology again. Basically a
striker someone who scores. Great. So, I
had a guy hit me up in a DM asking me,
"Well, since these women don't belong to
you and it's simply your turn, how can
you remain detached emotionally?" Well,
you got to always know that women are
talking to more than one guy. You're
never the only one. I don't give a damn
if you're in a relationship. I don't
give a damn if you're married. It don't
matter. Women need that constant IV drip
of attention. Period. And you can never
give them enough. They love that outside
attention. and they love the feeling of
doing some [ __ ] they ain't got no doing.
That's just how women are. That's how
they're hardwired. Why? Because Satan is
their daddy. The devil convinced them to
do all of this stupid ass [ __ ] So why
would you say in your mind and make the
hard assumption that oh this my girl,
she belong to me. She'll never cheat on
me. You know, she'll never talk to any
other guy. She ain't talking to other
guys. She's loyal to me. Don't be the
idiot to the moment that you make that
hard assumption, you put your own heart
on the chopping block and you give her
the knife. Did you just hear what the
[ __ ] I said? When you make that hard
assumption that a woman belongs to you
and you only and she's not talking to
anybody else and she's being faithful
and loyal to you, you put your own heart
on the chopping block and you hand her
the big ass butcher knife. you do it and
the gun and the bullets so she can
destroy you by line. When you're dating
these women and she's in your physical
presence, it's your turn. When you're
not physically around this woman, you
don't even really need to be thinking
about this woman. That's how I go about
it. I don't even think about their ass
until they text me. Other than that, I
got my mind on I got my mind on some
money. That's it. I'm chasing a bag. I'm
not chasing no relationship. I'm not
trying to [ __ ] uh get my emotions
tangled up with a creature that's
sharing herself with other people. All
right? In this generation, women cheat
for sport. Not all. I don't want to get
attacked by all police. Not all women
are like this. I repeat, not all women
are like this. But most, and when I say
most, I'm talking
99.9%. Y'all guys got All right. Bring
the emotions down, fellas. All right. Up
the intellect. Up the logical thinking,
up the masculinity. When you're too in
your emotions, guess what? Life has a
platter of pain for your I already told
you guys before, pain is the result of
wrong thinking. When you think the wrong
way about a thing, you get pain. When
you think the wrong way about a woman
thinking that she belongs to you and
she's mine and she'll never do this,
she'll never do that. Guess what's
coming? [ __ ] pain. Why? You're
thinking, not her. You thought the wrong
way about it. Wake up, bro. Listen
fellas, if you want to avoid heartbreak
and disappointment when it comes to
dating in this generation, open up your
ears and soak this game up. The best
place for you to be mentally is to love
the women that you date. And I'm not
saying being in love, but you know, love
them. You know, have an open heart, but
at the same time, you have to be
perfectly okay with never seeing them
again. when they try to pull back, when
they try to play games, when they leave
you on red, or when they don't return
your phone calls, you have to be okay
with never talking to them again. When a
woman starts out hot and heavy in the
beginning and then she pulls back,
that's her way of trying to make you
chase, especially if she didn't gave you
the already. You do not want to be the
donkey chasing the carrot on the stick
and string. These [ __ ] goofy. One
minute they like you and they show all
of this interest and the next minute
they pulling back to make you chase.
Love them, enjoy your turn, but at the
same time be okay with never seeing them
again. The question should be, ladies,
are you aware that most men are playing
games in relationship? I don't think a
lot of women understand what is going
on. I don't think we understand how men
view relationship with women. I'm not
even talking about marriage because they
also view marriage differently. So I
doubt if women are really in the know if
they know what is going on. Some women
get into relationship with men with a
large heart hoping to be there for that
man be supportive build with him not
knowing that that man got into
relationship because he thinks it is his
turn. He thinks he needs to sleep with
her and move on. Mix match. How then is
it going to work? You're obviously not
on the same level, not on the same
plane. How then do you expect that to
work? A lot of men are playing games.
What if I just want one girlfriend and I
want to be happy with her? Let me tell
you something, bro. Before you find that
one girlfriend, the girl who you think
is the one, you better be dating at
least 50 to 100 women in your lifetime,
because you're not going to know what to
scream for. You're not going to know who
the good girls are, who the bad girls
are, who's using you for money, whether
or not they're manipulating you, whether
or not they're cheating on you, whether
or not you're being finessed by a woman.
Without experience, you won't know these
things. I could look at a woman and I
can tell right away, this is a high
quality woman. She knows how to
communicate with a man. She's not going
to jump from guy to guy if things go
wrong. She's not going to do that if
she's feeling spiteful. A high quality
woman will uplift you, will add value to
your life. She ain't trying to use you.
She'll respect you. So, you better make
sure you're going to be a player first.
And you better make sure you know how to
screen a woman because one woman can
ruin your entire life. And I'd rather go
through a heartbreak like I did when I
was 20 years old than when I'm married
with children, going through a terrible
divorce, losing my house, losing
everything because I didn't know how to
screen for the right woman in my life.
You guys get it twisted. Charging her to
the game means the game has certain
rules, right, and
principles. And when I charge her to the
game, it's getting charged to those
principles. I can miss her how much I
want. I could love her how much I want.
I could want her however much I
want. But I will never sacrifice my
integrity, my manhood, and and what I
know, my principles, and how I move. So,
I got to charge it to the game cuz it it
at the end of the day, I'm not taking
the hit. My my principal is not taking
the hit.
My the game is getting charged to the
game. It is what it is.
Respectfully, the game card don't never
decline. I got to stand on business. It
is what it is. You know what I'm saying?
That's all that mean. You're doing your
dating roster all wrong if you weren't
following these three rules. So, I went
on the Tamron Hall show to talk about
it. Are you dating 20 at a time?
Another 20 at a time. I mean, I'm not
judging cuz I'm good with 20 at a time.
I'm good with it. The roster gets lower
and lower until you're just down to one.
The roster gets But you had a roster. I
absolutely had a roster. I like that. I
had a roster. Listen, I'm not ashamed of
that. Rule number one, no more than
three men at a time on the roster. Any
more than that gets really confusing and
stressful. Don't be that girl that sends
the wrong text to the wrong guy. Plus,
if you're dating with intention, you
want to give each of these men your
proper attention and collect data. Rule
number two, do not let a man sit on that
roster for more than 3 months. If you
guys haven't connected well enough to be
exclusive at this point, you need to
kick that guy off the roster to make
room for the next one. Learn to break up
sooner. The moment you figure out that
you're not compatible, it's time to move
on. Rule number three, once you find a
gem, abandon the roster. Cut off all the
other guys. A gem is hard to find. Trust
me, you'll regret this if you end up
fumbling a good man because you were
being a little selfish. Good luck with
your roster. Happy dating. If you can't
beat them, join them. If your desire is
to date men in this current day and age,
you need to be very much aware of what
is going on. You need to know the games
they are playing and you should also
step up to that game. If you don't do
that, they will use you and dump you.
Please let me know what dating is like
for you in the comment section. Some
people date one person at a time. Some
people date five people at a time. Don't
get me wrong. Please don't misunderstand
what I'm saying. Dating does not
necessarily mean you are in a
relationship with the person. Dating is
a talking stage where you get to know
the person. You meet different people.
You get to know different people before
deciding the person you really want to
be in a relationship with. And at that
talking stage, you're not expected to
sleep with anyone. I know some people go
as far as sleeping with people. I know
men might be sleeping with women, but
you're not expected to sleep with
anyone. You're not even required to
sleep with anyone. You just want to know
if the person has the qualities you're
looking out for. So, let me know what
your dating stage is like for you in the
comments section. You should only
approach women and take women on dates
when you're really excited to get to
know them. And I do think you should
only focus on one woman at a time. And
what I mean by that is only date one
woman actively at a time. And this is a
rule that's in the book I'm writing is
very important for me. Has worked really
well for my clients because in the
modern world, men can get this grasses
greener fallacy. So, you're always
wondering if something is better. The
only way to see an opportunity through
to really have a good discernment for
what's in front of you is to only look
at one person and say, "Do I see a
future with you?" If the answer is no,
you close the loop and then you go move
on to the next opportunity. If the
answer is yes, then you continue
exploring that until the answer is no or
until you get in a relationship. So, I
really think it is a numbers game in
terms of reaching out to women, but you
should only entertain the future or
having a future with one woman at a
time. I'm just here to remind you that
some of the girls that he's friends with
were actually a failed talking stage at
one point in his life. I'll make it even
easier for you. If homie has a girl
that's a friend at all, he wanted a hit
and she said no. So now he's playing the
waiting game like a
little Don't be that guy. I saw a video
where a guy said his biggest flex is
that he can hand his phone to his girl
without any worries because he's not a
piece. My guy, um, that's the bare
minimum. If you're having a girl, not
being a
piece and not cheating and trying to
holler at a bunch of women and sling
other women's DMs while you have a
girl is literally the bare minimum.
That's not a Doing the bare minimum.
Y'all got to understand something. doing
the bare minimum of being not being a
piece of being a good human being uh not
people over being loyal to your person
who you're exclusive
to.
That's bare
minimum. Unless we have changed what the
bare minimum is, right? Like unless
we've made being a piece okay, then I
guess then he would have a point, right?
But being a never been okay in my eyes.
So not being a is not a flex. It's the
bare minimum.
Okay, rant over. Please let me know your
thoughts on this in the comment section.
And if you'd love to watch more videos
like this, click this video to find out
the truth behind men calling independent
women masculine. And I will see you all
in the next one. Thanks for watching.
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