0:11 okay so I noticed on your diary card
0:14 that you have that you did
0:18 cut yep okay so let's talk about that a
0:20 little bit when what day did that happen
0:24 on Tuesday Tuesday okay so where were
0:26 you on Tuesday when you first had the
0:34 where I usually always am at school
0:37 school I was at my
0:49 locker
0:54 Melanie was talking about Tim my Tim my
0:57 boyfriend and I know it was it was my
0:58 Tim she was talking
1:03 about I I just wanted to punch her so
1:05 bad okay so you were standing at your
1:07 locker and you heard somebody say
1:09 something about Tim that you didn't want
1:13 to hear yeah she was talking about him
1:17 and he had he didn't text me the night
1:20 before so who knows what's going
1:23 on what were you feeling right
1:25 then so
1:30 angry so angry on a scale of 1 to 10
1:33 how angry would you say you were like a
1:36 nine pretty angry then
1:39 yeah what did you do right
1:42 then you're at your locker what's the
1:50 it the next thing I did I slammed my
1:54 locker and I walked down to the gym but
1:55 what I wanted to do was push her or punch
1:57 punch
2:00 her so I know that the gym is usually
2:02 the place where you cut because he said
2:04 you can go behind the bleachers people
2:06 don't usually see you there
2:10 yeah okay so where between hearing the
2:13 person talking about Tim and going to
2:16 the gym where did you decide to cut
2:17 because you said you were also feeling
2:19 like punching somebody so there must
2:20 have been a point where you decided I'm
2:27 cut I think it was right after I slammed
2:30 my locker and thought I can't punch her
2:33 I'm GNA get in trouble I'm gonna go
2:36 cut okay so that was when you decided to
2:40 cut and you went down to the gym
2:47 there well nobody was there because gym
2:49 class isn't in the
2:53 morning so I
2:55 knew that nobody was going to come in
3:11 cut the pencil that I have always used
3:14 so the same pencil as usual yeah the one
3:17 with the the metal tip
3:19 yeah okay that was a pencil that you
3:21 were saying that you were going to get rid
3:32 it's just
3:36 it's it's my favorite pencil I I use it for
3:41 school and I just it's my favorite
3:44 pencil okay so you still had the pencil
3:46 you got under the bleachers you say you
3:50 were feeling angry still were you still
3:53 on the scale of 1 to 10 where were
4:00 bleachers I was still at like like it
4:02 was still pretty high maybe like an
4:04 eight and a half though because I I knew
4:07 I I I knew I was going to cut okay so it
4:09 like came down a little
4:23 things I thought I'm glad I kept this
4:34 that I'm just so pissed that I just want
4:37 to cut so
4:39 badly so you have your pencil where did
4:44 you cut on my leg how many times three
4:46 How deep did you cut were was it deep
4:48 enough um that you needed a Band-Aid did
4:54 Band-Aid no I mean I guess I could have
4:57 used a Band-Aid but I mean
4:59 whatever but it wasn't so deep that you
5:03 needed something more no
5:05 okay right after you
5:08 cut where were you on the scale of 1 to
5:09 10 with your feeling with your anger
5:12 like a three three what were you
5:19 afterwards that felt
5:23 good I feel
5:26 better and I'm going to have to talk to
5:30 Michelle about this
5:31 do that feeling last you for the rest of
5:35 the day the feeling better mhm
5:36 mhm
5:47 did okay so that's what happened right
5:51 afterwards mhm later in the day what
5:58 cutting well I kind of forgot about it okay
6:00 okay but
6:02 but
6:04 then I just started thinking about it
6:08 again right before bed and just
6:12 feeling really guilty that I
6:14 cut because I knew I was going to have
6:16 to talk about it with
6:21 you and I just I mean I the night time I
6:22 just I constantly think about what
6:24 happened that day and then what the next
6:26 day is going to be like I mean you know
6:29 it's usually a pretty hard time I know
6:31 night is a really difficult time for you
6:33 it is yeah everything seems worse at
6:37 night yeah so you were thinking back at
6:43 guilty
6:45 yeah sounds like you weren't feeling so
6:47 good about it then as you were in the afternoon
6:58 happen sounds like for you cutting works
7:08 last yeah I guess so I know you've also
7:12 been working on doing less
7:14 cutting I've been doing pretty good you
7:17 have you've been working really
7:19 hard I'm just wondering if we can find
7:21 something that might last that you can
7:23 feel good about later that you won't
7:30 feelings yeah maybe
7:38 suck okay so with the cutting it sounds
7:41 like the point where you decided to cut
7:42 at your
7:45 locker what triggered it was hearing
7:50 Tim
7:52 yeah cuz she's
7:55 stupid okay it sounds like you're also
7:57 already having a pretty bad day you said
7:59 he hadn't called he hadn't been texting
8:01 as much and that was on your mind
8:03 mind
8:07 yeah that's right so I'm wondering if at
8:10 that point if we can think of two things
8:12 that you can try differently next time
8:18 cutting okay that'll bring that anger
8:21 from a nine down a little bit it's not
8:22 going to bring it down all the way to a
8:25 three though I'll tell you that much it
8:27 might not but it'll bring it down a
8:29 little bit and maybe each thing you try
8:31 bring it down a little bit
8:33 more all right and maybe there'll be
8:35 things you'll feel good about later you
8:37 won't have to worry about that guilty
8:40 feeling coming back all
8:44 right so the first thing is that pencil
8:46 it sounds like it's comforting to have
8:49 it yeah it
8:52 is but it also sounds like it's
8:55 tempting what do you think about
9:03 only if
9:10 tempting sounds like having that pencil
9:13 is going to make it harder to try other
9:16 things and you've been talking about how
9:18 you're really committed to not cutting
9:20 anymore or cutting
9:27 am sounds like that pencil standing in
9:40 maybe what do you think about getting
9:42 rid of the pencil this
9:44 time choosing a different favorite
9:57 with I mean maybe
10:04 pencil that way you can still have
10:06 something that can be your favorite but
10:09 which won't tempt you that'll make it
10:12 easier to try the two things
10:14 things
10:17 yeah okay what do you think our first
10:19 thing should be what do you think you
10:22 can try you just heard somebody say
10:23 something you don't want to hear you're
10:25 feeling pretty angry what can you do in that
10:26 that
10:28 moment oh what I do a lot at home when
10:32 my mom M's bothering me and saying stuff
10:34 I don't want to hear I put my headphones
10:36 on do you have your headphones with you at
10:36 at
10:39 school yeah they they they actually they
10:42 let me keep them on in
10:44 school is that something you'd be
10:46 willing to try next
10:49 time I think so there's a there's a few
10:54 songs that usually help me so I think so
10:56 okay that sounds like a good one to
10:59 try so we have headphones we need to
11:00 come up with one
11:08 try well I really like my teacher Mrs
11:13 Eon so she seems to always kind of be
11:16 there when I need to
11:19 talk and her room's kind of right down
11:21 the hallway for my locker in the same hallway
11:24 hallway
11:29 so I I guess I could talk to her that
11:31 sounds like a good
11:34 option so that's our goal is to keep
11:37 pushing cutting further down the list
11:38 and keep adding things that you're going
11:41 to try first and you're right that the
11:43 first thing you try might not bring you
11:45 all the way down to a two or a three but
11:47 it might bring you down a little bit and
11:49 each thing you try might bring you down
11:51 just a little bit more so you have to be
11:54 willing to try a few
11:58 things can you do that I can but I
12:00 really want want like a cooler pencil
12:02 though like like a cooler
12:06 pencil so I don't know maybe maybe we
12:08 could go look for a pencil together I
12:11 think that's a good
12:15 idea okay I'd like that okay thank you
12:16 for answering all of my questions on
12:18 this you did a great job with this chain
12:20 and I know it wasn't
12:24 easy yeah you're welcome let's go look
