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Roxie Nafousi ON: You're MANIFESTING WRONG! - Manifest Success & Abundance CORRECTLY | Jay Shetty

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Summary

Core Theme

Manifesting is not about luck or wishing for things outside your control, but about cultivating self-belief and empowerment to actively create desired outcomes. It's a practical, actionable process deeply intertwined with self-worth and personal growth.

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you cannot manifest things that are

totally out of your control manifesting

is about becoming so empowered and so

full of self-belief that you make things

happen and in that it means that you

can't manifest things that have

absolutely nothing to do with you this

isn't a game of luck the best-selling

author and host the number one Health

and Wellness podcast on purpose with Jay Shetty

Shetty

hey everyone welcome back to on purpose

the number one Health podcast in the

world thanks to each and every single

one of you that come back every week to

become happier healthier and more healed

now I love sitting down with a guest

that I've been chopping up with on

messages and getting to know and

following for some time and today's

guess is someone that I've had a few

interactions with offline and I'm being

honest with you one of the sweetest

warmest kindest people that I've

connected with and when I first came

across her book and her work I was so

happy to see someone take this very big

word take this very

known theme that we've kind of repeated

over the years but then make it their

own and really help us more deeply

understand it unpack it and live it and

I think that's the part that I'm most

intrigued by is that I think this word's

been thrown around for a long time and

it's kind of been a bit ethereal and not

as tangible and today's guest is someone

who I think is going to make it super

easy super practical and super

applicable for everyone who's listening

and watching wherever you are in the

world I'm talking about Roxy nafusi the

author of manifest seven steps to living

your best life if you don't already have

this book make sure you go and order a

copy right now we have the link uh in

the caption in all the details make sure

you go and grab a copy uh but Roxy I'm

so excited to have you here today I've

genuinely loved whether it's been us

emailing dming whatever it's been and

it's so great to have you here finally

so thanks for coming I am so excited

I've been smiling throughout that whole

introduction and honestly I feel like

I'm pinching myself so I have to tell

you at the beginning of this year on New

Year's if I always do a vision board and

I dream as big as possible and it was

before the book had even been released

and right in the middle I wrote Jay

Shetty really vague I was like I have to

connect with him obviously I wanted to

go on the podcast

um and it was like a huge dream for me

so thank you so much for having me no of

course and you have to say I want to see

that you've got to send that to me I

will I'll send you a picture yeah I love

seeing people's vision boards I think

it's such an important activity to

manifest yeah and I've done that in so

many ways when I first moved to LA as

well for me that was my kind of approach

where I was like I need to know

I want to connect with people I think I

genuinely connect with and I think

that's been a big part of my

manifestation is that it's always come

from a really good intention it's come

from a genuine place of I don't want

something from someone I I want to

connect with them and I think we'll

we'll dive into that and we'll get into

it but it's so awesome because I know

you were on the Today Show in New York

uh you know in La it's it seems like

you're taking the book International

which is which is amazing but I've loved

seeing how you've been you know I've

seen the Manifest events that you're

doing out in London as well and across

the UK like talk to me about I want to

know more about you and your journey

when did you first start your spiritual

self-discovery your personal Journey

where did that begin so to kind of give

you some background before because I

started when I was about 27 just about

to turn 28 so I think it was probably my

Saturn returns as well but up until then

I was the opposite of spiritual

I had been in an addiction to cocaine

alcohol and cigarettes for almost 10

years and I was obviously suffering from

depression and it's one of those things

was the drugs causing the depression or

the depression fueling the drugs but it

was obviously a combination of both

um but even prior to that I had always

been someone who was extremely negative

I had more self-loathing than I could

ever describe I truly hated who I was

um from my earliest years you know when

I was growing up I was an Iraqi growing

up in Oxford my name's Rowan the Iraqi

war broke out

um and you know there was this kind of

media attack on Muslims and I grew up in

a very devout Muslim family

and I was treated pretty horrifically at

school and I started to really reject

where I was coming from and when you

reject where you're coming from you are

just rejecting yourself and who you are

and I think that was stemming all this

self-loathing and so when I was 12 I

decided to move schools

um after this incident where I'd been

locked in a phone box basically being

called Saddam it was really I'd actually

blocked out the memory for ages and I

decided to change my name from Rowan to Roxy

Roxy

and then it that kind of continued this

journey of escaping for myself and who

and who I was and it took me until this

kind of major Rock Bottom in um May 2018

when I'd been on a yoga teacher training course

course

and I really thought this is going to

change my life I am going to you know do

200 hours of yoga I'm meditating I've

got no access to these drugs and you

know all the cigarettes and everything

that I was using to escape

um and I felt that that was gonna be it

and I remember there was a monk there

and he read my poem and he said you've

got this Fork on your palm and you're

here to help lead

um with your wisdom and I was like okay

great I'm gonna go home and be a yoga

teacher and at the beginning of my

classes I will try and inspire people

and that was kind of my goal then

but I got back to London and 24 hours

later a friend called me and she was

like do you want to come to this party

and I was like yeah

and within

an hour of being with her I was back

taking drugs

and I went on a 48-hour Bender basically

didn't go to bed

did some things I really regret and I

woke up feeling totally a rock bottom

like the shame the regret and I felt

like I was unchangeable I thought this

is just who I am and I called my friend

Sophia and she is she is quite she is

very spiritual and I would say she's

quite woo like she's quite out there and

she said oh you should listen to this

podcast on manifesting and I thought oh

okay well this is going to be something

that's really woo and out there but I'll

give it a listen because at this point

I'll try anything

and I listened to this podcast and I

realized that manifesting was all about self-worth

self-worth

and something in me just clicked you

know I think we all have those moments

where we hear one thing and it kind of

just changes everything and hearing

about manifesting was that Catalyst for

my change

and from then I started immersing myself

I would say it's like I brainwashed

myself with self-development in the best

way I was listening to podcasts reading

books like I love YouTube for

motivational videos

um and I was doing everything I could to

try and understand how to change my my

mindset how to rewire my brain the way

that I was thinking the way I felt about

myself but all of it really was

manifestation so for me manifesting is

the umbrella and all of self-development

and healing Falls underneath it wow I

love that definition and thank you for

telling us about your story a bit too

like how did you how did you first get

introduced to like cocaine and drugs and

and all of that world because I totally

understand what you're saying that you

were going through this bullying's an

understatement because it it's it was a

lot worse and it and it can be a lot

worse but you're going through this kind

of tension stress pressure that's coming

from the outside because of where you're

from and where your family's from and

things like that but then how did it go

so far to that extreme where did you get

introduced to these things and how did

they become normality when I was at

school I remember trying it was called a

and I remember trying it for the first

time and thinking gosh like something

about this feels quite good and I slowly

slowly started drinking every now and

then it was not common like my mum

obviously never like knew that I was

drinking you know she would be so upset

if she did and but I was doing it kind

of like casually and then when I left

school then I went to University I was

18 and

actually I've just remembered the first

time yeah I went to an after party and I

remember taking cocaine for the first

time and just thinking it was great and

I just loved it and

as someone who had absolutely no

confidence what this drug was giving me

was this false confidence

and so the youth started to become more

regular but it I actually formed the

addiction I would say really quite

rapidly Because by the age of 22 I was

in my first n a meeting I knew that

something was not right that I was doing

it to excess I would you know when I'd

be getting ready to go on a night out it

would be 4 P.M in the afternoon and I'd

be on my own taking having a line

because it would give me this false

confidence as I was getting ready

but I obviously then didn't give up

until I was 28 so there was this long

period of time where I knew I had an

addiction but trying to get out of it

was so so hard and the shame that comes

when you're constantly trying to remove

yourself from something is you know it

is I did feel it was very traumatic time

even now if I see people on TV doing

drugs or if I've been out and I see

people coming home from an after party I

have a physical response to it I feel so anxious

anxious

um so yeah it's it was a time yeah wow

yeah I mean that dies in trauma that

just disappears and yeah and just leaves

you and what you said earlier it can be

so hard when manifesting in self-worth

are so correlated yeah to manifest from

that kind of a place can be really

difficult because I'm guessing when

you're saying gee I don't feel confident

and that's why I do this because it

makes me feel confident it means you're

coming from a place of I don't have

self-worth but then to manifest I have

to believe that there's more for me to

deserve and more for me to earn and more

for me to create and so

let's let's dive into that and keep kind

of coming back to where you were too because

because

how did you learn to manifest for

yourself from a place of a lack of

confidence and a lack of self-worth well

firstly now in reflection I was

manifesting but the wrong direction

right so I was actually attracting I

think a lot of negativity to me and I

was constantly thinking you know I

wasn't making any money like I had no

career I was trying but at the last

moment they'd pull out or they wouldn't

want to work with me and I was for sure

manifesting that because I was kept

saying to myself I know it's not going

to work I know this person's Gonna

Cancel I spent so much time on my own I

was so lonely like I truly know the

meaning of loneliness and it's like

deepest level

um but when I decided you know and I

discovered manifesting and like you say

I realized that it was so closely linked

to self-worth

um how I started was to start my healing

journey and I the first kind of

technique I used was to fall asleep to

affirmation playlists because I realized

that your subconscious was acceptable as

you're falling asleep

but there was but then there was an

ongoing journey and by the way I'm still

on it yeah of course like I'm still on

that self-worth Journey you know we

spoke before you know there are still

things that are definitely kind of my

blocks but I don't know if you had this

and because I I said before I wish I was here

here

you're not allowed to interview me today

we will save that for another time

today's about you and your books yeah

when I first

um heard about

kind of self-development and I would

listen to speakers and people would say

oh it's a lifelong journey of healing I

was like what do you mean it's a

lifelong journey that sounds hideous

what's the point

I was in this like

self-development honeymoon so at the

beginning you know when you find healing

and I've been in this real dark place

and then I start to see changes I start

to see the light I thought well this is

it I'm Healed I'm never gonna feel bad

again like this is great and it's

exactly like being in a relationship

when you start I'm never going to argue

with this person we're going to be

together forever and then you know time

goes on and you realize that's not the case

case

and now what I realize is that yes it is

a lifelong journey but with every single

kind of layer you peel off you open up

this huge potential for growth and

abundance and opportunity and you're

constantly up leveling so even when you

take a step back you're still never

going back as far as you went and that

for me is really reassuring and I hope

for anyone listening who's also thinking

what do you mean this is an ongoing

Journey it's ongoing but in the best

possible way yeah I I think it's

interesting when you say that because I think

think

I believe that everything's a lifelong

journey there's literally nothing that

you could actually say has a beginning

and an end because even when you look at

something that you don't think grows

anymore it is growing it's just growing

slowly or it's growing differently or

it's growing uniquely but everything's

either growing or dying at any given

time and I think people forget that I

like the point you made that you can

manifest negatively and you can actually

manifest the other way can you give us

an example of how we do that like how do

we almost manifest things not working

out so I think like really simple examples

examples

if you wake up on the wrong side of the

bed you wake up in a really bad mood and

then you miss your train and you know

your meeting gets canceled and you stub

your toe or whatever it is we've all had

those experiences in those days where we

kind of just operating at this low Vibe

we're in a bad mood and then that's

what's happening but there's also I

think a deeper level where we you know

so much is self-fulfilling prophecies so

if we are constantly operating from this

belief system that we aren't worthy that

we aren't enough that we can't you know

receive abundance then we're going to

change the way that we interpret and the

meaning we attach to everything we

experience so we might have a

conversation with someone which is a in

in perspective someone else's

perspective is just a like really normal

conversation but to that person who's

got that low self-worth and and believes

everybody's against them they might take

that conversation totally the wrong way

and then sabotage the relationship and

then go see I told you I told you

nobody's here for me or I told you I can

you know whatever it is and so I think

in that sense we are absolutely

manifesting negativity into our lives

because of how we're perceiving the

world through that lens of low

self-worth or low self-esteem yeah no

that's such a great answer and I'm so

glad you raised that point because

I think people think they're like okay

well should I start manifesting should I

not does it work does it not and the

point is you're already doing it yes in

in one way or another and I think a lot

of people struggle with the idea of

manifesting for people who are kind of

more skeptical or cynical and things

like that and and you know you you said

you came from a non- kind of spiritual

background too to some degree it sounds

or not open to these ideas and and

that's the same with me if someone told

me about manifesting years ago I would

have just been like that's weird like

that doesn't work it's just hard work

it's just you've got to put in the time

and now I realize

I was subconsciously manifesting so many

incredible things in my life not knowing

the term not knowing the process and

then I was like well actually if you

know the process you can use it better

yes right like I think that's something

that we don't understand it's almost

like if everyone is listening or

watching if you think about something

you do actually ask your friends this

ask your friends what do I do well and

whatever answer they give you there

might be some things in that that

surprise you like your friends might say

oh you're actually a really good

communicator and you're like thinking

well I never even knew that or your

friend's like oh you're really great at

mediating between us when we're arguing

and you didn't know that often when you

don't know you have a skill you actually

don't know how to use it well and that's

what I find with manifesting whether

you're using manifestation to create

negativity in your life or positivity

knowing how it works makes sense so how

did you start to piece together your you

know principles of manifestation how did

you start to gather and say this is an

important part of the process I think by

the way I'll start by saying that

this conversation is so important these

conversations and this one especially

you know so I'm so fortunate to have

this platform to talk about this and the

reason it's so important to me is that

because manifesting has become such a

trend I think it devalues it so much

yeah and I'm so passionate about

manifesting that I I get almost a bit

upset I'm like no it's so incredible

it's such a full and fulfilling and

meaningful practice and within it there

is science and philosophy and wisdom and

I think it can get a bad rep you know

from these like 30 second Tick Tock

videos which maybe just are me are

giving so many misconceptions around it

but this really is like it isn't woo it

isn't mystical and actually my book in

particular is for the Skeptics so like

anyone who's a skeptic I challenge them

to pick up the book and not feel better

about their lives afterwards but how I

came up with the seven steps is honestly

a terrible story

I love it that's great that's awesome I

um so when I had wolf I kind of really

was like I'm gonna who's my son I

thought I'm gonna make this career for

myself in being of service to others

others I realized that that was my

purpose it's what I'm here to do

um and so the first I did a workshop I

used to watch like brene brown and I

just love her and I and I saw her

um called courage on Netflix I was like

I want to do that I want to be on stage

I want to inspire people so I thought

I'm just going to host my first workshop

and it was a self-love workshop and 100

people came I couldn't believe it wow

that's amazing where did they come from

I had a really small community on

Instagram it was like I think like 20

000 followers it was good but it was

small and I was really connected to them

because I'm very open and vulnerable and

they've kind of been on the journey with

me and so I said like I'm gonna do this

and anyway you know I can't imagine you

know what your first one was like but I

remember just my legs like jelly before

I stepped on stage but the moment I got

on that stage I was like this is what

I'm here to do

um so I did that Workshop it went well

and so I was like okay I'm gonna do

another one and so I said to my audience

I said guys I've been following

manifestation I've been learning about

it do you think I should do this and

this was Jan 2020. and they were like yeah

yeah

so I was like no I have to do a workshop

and manifestation how am I going to

explain this practice there is so much

to it

so I just thought right I'm gonna put it

in a step-by-step process

so I went on a walk and I got out the

notes on my phone and within five

minutes I had my seven steps to

manifesting and I think it came so

instinctively to me but I made this

claim that I said everything you need to

know about manifestation is in these

seven steps and then I panicked because

I was like this is a big claim and what

if people realize that things are not in

these seven steps and when I would

listen to people talk I was like on the

edge of my seat thinking I hope there's

not something that's not in my seven

steps but I actually found everything

slotted in to one of these steps yeah

um and 100 people came to that Workshop

in Jan 2020 and then in the pandemic hit

I took them online

700 people were then on a webinar in Jan

2021 and by Jan 2022 it was a Sunday

Times bestseller yeah so it was a really

exciting journey and I still stand by

these seven steps I live and breathe

them they are so practical accessible

and easy for anyone to follow yeah no

the reason I asked that was actually

because when I looked through the seven

steps I really appreciated that you got

into things like uh my favorite ones and

I want to talk about a few of these but

my favorite ones were step three align

your behavior uh step six is probably

without my favorite one out of all the

seven which is turn Envy into

inspiration and even just the fact that

you were considering Envy when you talk

about manifestation I found that really

interesting I was like oh yeah I've

never heard someone to want

manifestation and go there and also

you know you obviously talk about

overcoming tests from the universe but

it wasn't this it wasn't just about the

universe there was just so many other

elements to it so let's dive into a few

of these because I think I want to give

people a sense of some of these steps

and and we'll we'll dream and talk about

it too but

before we do that let's talk about some

of the misconceptions you mentioned so

what are some of the big misconceptions

that you are

breaking and debunking the myths of

manifesting in this book like what would

you say are your ones that stand out to

you so the first one is definitely that

vision manifesting is visualization that

you can visualize your way to success or

if you just think really hard about

something or you have a positive mindset

it'll come to you

um it's just simply not the case there's

no such for hard work and you can think

as hard as you want about something it

doesn't mean it's going to appear in

your hands because this isn't Magic okay

I always say it feels magical like I

feel like this moment for me is magical

like this is incredible but it isn't I

made it happen you know I did manifest

it through act taking action and

following the rest of the steps the

other misconception I think is that it's

a ritual so I've done hundreds of

interviews on manifesting and in nearly

everyone I'll get asked you know

um what can someone do every day to

manifest their partner as if there's one

thing you can do like you can Journal

before bed or you can do a visualization

meditation and

what these are these are rituals that

support your manifesting journey but

manifesting is the self-development

practice you live and breathe it

everything you do is part of your

manifestation practice like

the way you show up for yourself the

boundaries you set the routines you have

the habits you have everything matters

these rituals are not manifestation

practices they are just supporting the process

process

um and the other one is that you cannot

manifest things that are totally out of

your control so sometimes I get asked

Can you manifest winning the lottery I'm

like no you can't because it's nothing

to do with you yeah manifesting is about

becoming so empowered and so full of

self-belief that you make things happen

and in that it means that you can't

manifest things that have absolutely

nothing to do with you this isn't a game

of luck amazing I love those those are

three you could tell that you've spent a

lot of time thinking about these because

those are three really great great

answers on some of the biggest

challenges with manifesting and I get

asked all those questions all the time

too yeah I'm happy that you've done all

the thinking in between for it uh being

clear about our vision I think that's

the one that gets talked about the most

when it comes to manifesting it was like

be really clear be really specific you

hear the old examples of Jim Carrey

wrote himself a 10 million dollar check

and then you know then he got I think it

was Dumb and Dumber that he got a 10

million dollar check for you hear those

stories of people who are really clear

like specific about the amount specific

about the person specific talk to me

about your key tenets of being clear

about the vision and interestingly by

the way this is the shortest chapter in

the book yeah but it's the one that

people spend the most on yeah um but it

of course is important I mean from a

neuroscience point of view when we have

these really clear goals and when we do

visual rehearsal a lot we Prime the

subconscious parts of our brain to reach

that goal by filtering out unwanted

information and seeking out

opportunities that aligned with them so

I like this step and

for its kind of ability to give us this

kind of opportunity to actually figure

out what it is we want from life like

who do we want to be what do we want our

lives to look like but more importantly

what do we want our lives to feel like

you know and I think that actually just

giving ourselves that space be really

vulnerable and open and step back and go

do I want something different do I want

to be in a totally different industry do

I want a different kind of relationship

you know am I actually happy where I am

now or not so I think it's a really it's

you know creating a vision board I

always say which you know is just

creating a visual representation of what

you want your life to look like it's a

really sacred experience it's why I

encourage people to put them away

um there's two camps on this some people

love having their vision boards out

where you can see I think they should be

put away because I think you have to be

so vulnerable with your dreams you are

not going to be really honest about what

you want if you think your mom is going

to walk in and see it on your wall or

your boyfriend's gonna see it on your screensaver

screensaver

um so having this kind of clarity foreign

foreign

bravery and courage to actually be

honest about what you want is all really

integral to this step

um and I kind of practice a ritual that

I like that supports this is a

visualization meditation for me I fall

asleep every night to one every night

um but yeah it's it's a it's a really

simple first step and

I just think it is about this kind of

clarity for yourself yeah I think that's

a great answer I think so many times and

that's why I knew I wanted to talk to

you about manifesting because I feel so

often in the manifestation World someone

will say yeah well pick your goal like

what is it visualize it think and I'm

like well actually it's so much more

about what you said it's so much more

about who you want to be and how you

want to show up in the world and how you

want to feel because

when you ask that question you then

realize oh wait a minute is that thing

gonna make me feel that probably not and

so I'm I'm gonna reflect on this back

for the audience with my journey and how

it makes sense so when I was after I'd

left the monastery and I was working a

corporate job so that I could pay my

bills and take care of everything around 2015

2015

end of 2014 beginning of 2015 I felt

like that I felt

I was doing good at a job that I didn't

really see a future in but I knew that

my purpose was to help people and serve

people and I was trying to do that on

the weekends and evenings but there was

only so many people I could connect with

and there was only so many people I

could touch because I didn't have that

much time and energy and there was a

part of me that felt well I have to

share this with more people and so

that's when I started exactly what

you're saying where I started looking

into what will make me feel like I'm

connecting to people I've already helped

a few people very deeply what is it that

I'm looking for I'd already worked and

coached a few people and gone all the

way with them but I was like I want to

touch more people and I want to be able

to reach people who their company can't

afford this they're not doing this

because they have to have a coach as a

business it's like this is for anyone

and everyone on the planet who can

access it for free who's just like me as

the kid in London who grew up with no

access to any of this but got lucky that

I met the monks how do I read to that

person and so I fully agree with you

that it was in that moment that I

decided what I wanted to feel and who I

wanted to be even though I had no idea

what it looked like so if you ask me to

describe where I am today which is still

on the journey I would never have

described any of this in any specificity

because I just didn't know and if

anything my goal and my visualization

was far more basic and limited but it

was enough to get started does that feel

Fair yeah I love that and I think that's

so important for people because one of

my most asked questions is what if I

don't know what I want and actually what

you're saying is hey I didn't know the

exact things I wanted but I did know

what I who I wanted to be and how I

wanted to feel that is the best starting

place and I think so important for

anyone listening it's also feeling

really lost and people often find this

practice when they are feeling lost and

when you are it is really hard to have

those specific goals yeah so you you

know I think that's just such an

important example to share thank you

yeah no no no it's just as soon as I

heard you say that I was putting myself

in this shoes and I I feel that I've

never I've actually never been specific about

about

numbers things

those things have never been part of how

I've manifested it I'm not saying that's

bad too I'm saying that's not been my

Approach and my Approach is constantly

being how do I use the gifts I've been

given in the service of others like

that's always been like the kind of

intention but moving away from that we

have this idea of

like you're saying people are not always

uh clear about their goals they're not

always clear about what they want but

then what usually hits is this fear and

self-doubt and I remember going through

that as well so I want to ask an

interesting question about this when

you're thinking about fear and

self-doubt I feel like this is the part

where we spend a lot of time and most

people get stuck in fear and doubt that

they never start they never try

something they never give it a go

because they're worried about what their

parents will think they're worried about

what their family will think of them

they're worried about what their friends

will say

when you think about figuring out what

is the root of what we're really

struggling with in fear and doubt like

if you really have to think about that

and go what is that the core of why fear

and doubt is such a hard thing to

overcome in the process of manifesting I

always take a breath when I think about

fearing doubt because it's so

overwhelming for so many of us and it

was the hardest chapter to write I

believe that I believe that because how

do you even begin in one chapter to

describe how to begin that healing Journey

Journey

I think that you know we're born into

this world kind of full of confidence

and self-love and you know I always look

at Wolf and he comes home he's obsessed

with himself and I love it you know what

I mean I mean he's adorable oh thank you

from nurse you're like oh my God Mom

like you will never guess what I said to

Oliver today like you not got that kind

of like self-consciousness he thinks he

should have everything he wants and

rightly so I mean I am the biggest

pushover as well I'm like I'm definitely

like making that much worse but I love

that kind of like youthful confidence

and belief that they are deserving of

everything but what happens is life like

life happens to us and to varying

extents we come to believe that we

aren't enough that we aren't good enough

as we are and I mean my personal belief

around this is that I think rarely do we

actually get unconditional love from our

parents and this isn't to blame our

parents but the love we receive actually

is very conditional it's if you are good

if you behave I will love you if you

misbehave if you show anger if you are

upset if you are crying I will punish

you and I will withdraw that love from you

you

and so of course we're forming these

beliefs so early on that we must mold

ourselves to please those around us our

parents then our teachers and our peers

and the people we grow up with and then

our partners and so when you're

compounding those beliefs constantly

throughout our lives when we then have

this realization oh my gosh I have no

self-worth anymore it's really there's a

big job ahead of you to start to undo

all of that conditioning and come back

to that bright

confident buoyance childlike self but I

think that the trick is just to begin is

to begin with from a place of compassion

we can kind of Judge ourselves for

having the fear and doubt in the first

place you know we can be like I wish I

wasn't like this I wish I had more

confidence I wish this and I think even

at that very first step it's being able

to go hey I'm so sorry you know to you

and your inner child I'm so sorry that

you don't feel like this yet what can we

do how can we heal this and then finding

ways that work for you to whether it's

literally reprogramming your neural

Pathways and reprogramming your belief

system or

I mean just it starts to come into

everything that we're doing into to

changing how we feel about ourselves

um and for me it's the most been the

most profound Journey I've ever been on

you know for me to be able to sit here

and say do you know what I really love

who I am is something I am so grateful

for and so grateful to manifestation for

um because I absolutely didn't think it

was possible like I know many people

listening or feel yeah we either put up

a facade of confidence or we hide our

insecurities or we try and find a way to disguise

disguise

the anxiety that we feel about ourselves

in order to cope with the world outside

of us and I think for me

I did that for many many years and

when I started to feel like I wanted to

walk this path

the fear and doubt that came in was fear

of failure there was a doubt around if I

had the skills or the ability

and just overall I think my vision had

shrunk and you're so right if someone

asked me in my teens

if this would have been possible I would

have said yes but if someone asked me my

twenties I would have said no and so

it's really interesting to see that

Stark comparison if if you ask me as a

15 year old if anything could be

possible I would I would have been much

more broad-minded and at 24 I'd become

much more small-minded because you start

thinking as to what's real

and what's possible and

you start also looking at the people

around you and going well where have

they got to and and then you start kind

of you know creating a little hierarchy

yeah what we say the comparison the

comparison of where I am I love what

you're saying about getting back to that

childlike exuberance and Vibrance I

think that is the core I think that's a

great answer because I feel like that

now too I'd say the happiest I think

I feel now is that I think I still allow

myself to be a kid

and that

a kid in thought

a kid in activity a kid in the idea of

play the idea of treating work and

businesses play the idea of not taking it

too overly seriously where it stops

being an expression and starts to become

you know too structured and of course

there's there's times in which you have

to be the opposite so I get that as well

you talk about self-care being a big

part of that through that time when you

talk about self-care and self-love again

words that are so thrown around and just

so overused that they've lost their value

value

how have you looked towards self-care

and self-love through the process of

fear and doubt and in a way that

actually helps you through that

I started to realize early on that

self-love was something that we could

nurture in every decision we were making

from the minute we wake up to the minute

we go to bed we have an opportunity to

either boost our self-love and cultivate

it all the opposite and so I started to

become very Mindful and using a lot of

self-awareness to really look at every

decision I was making

what time I was waking up if I was

snoozing my alarm when I was saying no

to things that I actually didn't want to

do and when I was just saying yes to

please others

um how I was eating how I was moving my

body and this kind of awareness started

to change everything that I was doing

and I realized that self-love was

honoring where I am today

and where I wanted to be tomorrow

and by that I mean that you know in

making our decisions we need to be

considering who we want to become where

I wanted to be tomorrow what I wanted to

manifest you know who I wanted to become

and if my decisions were aligned with

that but also making sure that my

decisions were honoring how I was

feeling each day and so having that

ability to kind of check in with myself

so on days where I was feeling like

superwoman you know when you wake up

you've got so much energy I knew on

those days I could really push myself

harder at work I could you know go

harder in the gym whatever it was and on

the days where I was waking up and I was

because look life is still stressful you

know you're not going to learn to

manifest and everything is perfect but

on the days where I was waking up

feeling flat or lethargic or just a bit

down or sad

how could I honor that

via rest recharge

um getting an early night

saying no to social Arrangements because

that would cause me more stress or

making sure I you know finish my to-do

list and so it was this constant balance

of like checking in with how am I

feeling today emotionally physically mentally

mentally and

and

where do I want to be tomorrow and what

are my priorities for tomorrow and

finding that balance and that for me is

self-love and then within that is

self-care which is routines looking

after me like I have found I am someone that

that

you know I I work very hard I'm very busy

busy

but I don't have like Boundless Energy I

think some people and Instagram probably

I don't know if like I had a warped

Vision but I used to see people on

Instagram that was so busy and they just

seem to have all this energy for all the

time and I used to try and do that and I

kept getting burnt out and ill and I

would get the flu and my back would

spasm and I realized that my body just

can't handle that level of adrenaline

and stress for long durations so for me

self-love and self-care was going right

I have to take breaks for

doing things that will really make my

body feel better that will calm down my

nervous system meditation breath work

ice baths IV drips whatever it is for me

that really helps me and that's

self-care yeah no I I love what you said

then I think the key word that that I

was taking away was priorities and

prioritization I feel like that's one of

the challenges with not just manifesting

but life in general where it's like

you're saying if I have a sense of

priorities and then I need to rest the

next day to get back to the priorities

but the problem is I think all of us

have a lot of priorities and we have a

lot of things that we want to happen at

the same time and so it's like we want

the amazing career at the same time we

want the amazing social life at the same

time we want an incredible vacation at

the same time we want eight hours of

sleep every night and it's like I don't

know anyone in the world like I you know

when I met my wife and and even now in

in my life like my purpose is my

priority and my wife and my relationship

with there is a massive part of that but

but she knows that and and her purpose

and her priority is her family and so we

have these what some people would think

of as competing priorities and I don't

see them as competing I just see them as

priorities that are different and she

knows that if there's a weekend and she

has a choice to spend with her family or

anyone else she'll choose her family and

if I had the choice in a weekend to do

my purpose or anything else I would

choose my purpose that's just always the

way it's going to be and I think what's

really interesting about that is when

people see amazing or exciting things

happening in your life it's like yeah

because this is all I care about like I

don't I'm not prioritizing pretty much

anything else and that's kind of like a

scary mindset for people because people

that's an intimidating mindset a scary

mindset because people go but I don't

want to live like that and the truth is

you don't have to live like that no one does

does

but I find that if you don't want to

live like that it's hard to create

progress in any area whether that's

being a parent whether it's being a

partner whether it's building a career

whatever it may be so how does

manifestation and priorities work

together do you feel that people want to

manifest too many things are they too

different is it

do we need to be more focused how do you

see that when it comes to manifestation

I think that you're right in that people

kind of want to have it all at the same

time all together but something's got to

give we're not superhuman you know

there's only so much energy and time

that we have and I think that having

that Clarity on your purpose on your priorities

priorities

um is key it's also why doing something

you love is so important because if

people are going well I don't want to

prioritize my work and have to give up

my social life you know or have to give

up this it's probably because you're not

really that passionate about the work by

the way for some people they just want

to have a job and that's totally fine

which will pay them so that they can

prioritize their social life that is a

good thing to know yes because then

you're not thinking right you know I

need to have a job that is this

all-encompassing life purpose actually I

just want to leave at five I don't want

actually that's pretty awesome you know

because they want to prioritize other

things travel or whatever but I think

it's also really important for people to

know that your priorities will change

you don't need to get intimidated by

this idea that you know if my priority

now is my career it has to be like that

for the rest of my life my priority this

week let's say right I'm here in America

and I'm have these goals that I want to

manifest my priority right now is 100

communicating my message and inspiring

as many people as I want which means I

have not been out for dinner once right

I'm not with my son right now that is my

focus I also know that as soon as I'm

home my priority is my son and I have to

take a step back from work to give that

the space it deserves and so I always

see your priority as being like your

best friend and what I mean is that you

know when you go to your best friend to

answer all your decisions so you'll go

hey what should I eat tonight or should

I break up with my partner or whatever

your priority is your decision maker

it's your best friend so when you're

trying to make a decision of

should I go to this party or should I

you know let's say your priority is to

feel really energized and healthy should

I eat this candy whatever it is your

priority is that decision maker for you

and that's really important with

manifestation because it's helping you

to constantly align your behavior with

where you want to go and who you want to

become so having those priorities gives

you that focus it helps you to make

decisions but I think it's also really

important to know that priorities are

changing like they will change day to

day week to week

um and we should just be allowed to like

get comfortable with that but know that

there needs to be some you can't

prioritize Everything at Once yeah and

I'm happy to hear that because I think

sometimes people's vision boards or

they're manifesting is like every area

at the same time and it can be

challenging but I wanted to ask you this

and I feel like you're the perfect

person to ask this to

the idea of mom guilt with manifesting

like you're just talking about your son

there and like getting back to him and

he's young how old is he now three and a

half yeah three and a half he's so young

and it's like I'm sure you want to be

back with him and I'm sure it's hard but

you also have this Mission and I feel

like that's it's such a wonderful thing

to see someone trying to balance it and

trying to figure it out but I'm sure

it's not easy and I'm sure you know I I

grew up with a Powerhouse mum who uh

made me breakfast and lunch and dinner

every day dropped me to school pick me

back up did my homework with me and was

the breadwinner of the family wow yeah I

don't know how she did it and yeah she

is a super one yeah she really is and

it's unbelievable and you know I think

I just wish she also found work that she

loved she's good at and she's downgraded

it but

there's a part of me that's also like

well if she loved her job too and it

fulfilled her and she had time it would

have been amazing but having been the

son of a a superwoman and seen an

incredible mom and having such a great

role model in my life

like for you how do you balance do you

ever experience mom guilt because you're

traveling you're on the road you're out there

there

and how do you manage it with but I'm

also manifesting the life I I want for

myself and my son like I just want to

hear how that goes through in your head

do you know and I don't know if this is

going to be a very popular answer but I

don't really experience mum girl I love

that how um

because I know I I really believe I'm a

really good mum and I believe I'm a good

mom because I do give wolf unconditional

love and space to be whoever he wants to

be and as a parent that's all we can do

is be as good as parents as we can be

we're not trying to be perfect parents

like I'm still

I'm still Roxy I'm so many things I'm a

multifaceted human being a mom is one of

those I mean it of course is the most

important thing but it's not all that I

am and I know that I'm giving wolfy this

unconditional love safety I'm trying to

create you know a life not just for me

but for him as well and you know what he

is the happiest little boy so I'm

clearly doing something right and I'm

very lucky that Wade is an incredible

dad I know that he you know wolf is

never apart from being in preschool he's

never with anyone other than Mia Wade so

I know that he's like in safe hands and

he seems fine you know when I like

honestly before I was going to America

so Wade's taken him to Australia for

three weeks

and I did start feeling really panicky I

was feeling quite anxious like I can't

believe I'm gonna leave him I'm not

going to see him for three weeks like

I'm missing this special time

and you know I would say day to day I'm

not like a needy mom like I don't I'm

not like overly attached like in an

unhealthy way because like you know wolf

is not mine he's not my possession he's

my son I'm here to guide him

um but he's a very affectionate little

boy just for context he's very

affectionate loves cuddles loves kisses

like he's so cute anyway the day I was

leaving he could obviously sense my

neediness and anxiety and he refused to

hug me I was like baby I'm not gonna see

you for three weeks and give your mommy

a hug he was just like it was almost

like he was like Mom you're making it

much can you just back off and every

time I tried to FaceTime him for the

last two weeks he's like I am having too

much fun like I'm fine and so he's happy

I'm happy

um and at the end of the day

I'm always going to be here for him and

I'm thriving as much as I can he's

thriving wherever he is and I think that

I hope that in sharing that it will give

other mums permission to be okay with

not feeling guilty because I almost

think that sometimes we have

we feel guilty if we don't feel guilty

like I felt that I thought is there

something wrong with me that I don't

have this awful mom girl totally yeah I

imagine that yeah but actually I'm

pleased that I don't and I hope that it

will encourage other mums to be okay

with prioritizing themselves you know

our children are learning from what we

do not what we say and we know that and

if we are showing them that we respect

ourselves that we honor ourselves that

we want the best for ourselves they are

going to respond to that and learn from

that and it's a really important example

to give yeah I think that's I love

hearing that it's refreshing and

the part that I was extrapolating from

that was that it sounds like you've defined

defined

at least internally what you believe it

means to be a good mum for yourself for

you for Roxy who you are and if you have

that definition then you can live up to

that now I may have a definition of what

a good mum is and obviously I I I'm

saying this hypothetically but it's a if

someone was to compare their definition

to mine or mine to theirs or X to Y the

problem is

you can start adding a lot of pressure

to your play and as you said often get

the pressure of well I have to be

everything and and anything and when I

was reading your book you have this

beautiful uh dedication to Wolf which is

for my son wolf be whoever you want to

be and and I love that and I was thinking

thinking

when you changed your name it sounds

like that was a moment where you were

becoming who you wanted to be how did

your parents respond to that like how

did they how did your family or extended

family feel about you changing your name

you know I think I was so headstrong

even as a child that my parent for me it

wasn't like I was asking my parents I

was like this is what I'm doing and I

have to do it

um my I'm the youngest of four my

brothers and sisters just you know

mocked me obviously that's what older

brother sisters do uh they thought it

was ridiculous that I was now Roxy and

they still don't call me Roxy they all

call me Rowan

um but I love that um but yeah they they

didn't try to stop me which I think was

really nice you know and I think that's

important and I do feel like a Roxy and

I love it when people say I love your

name I'm like thank you I chose it but

yeah why Roxy where did it come from oh

I don't know I was with a friend and we

were like what should we what should we

choose and then it was that or rocky I'm

glad I chose but we changed it to an ie

because I didn't want to be like the

surf brand yeah the offense to the surf

brand but I wanted something unique yeah

and I love I I think that's really

important because so much of who we are

is not chosen by us at the beginning of

our lives

and then it's important that we start

choosing so the beginning of your life

so much is chosen for you and as we get older

older

we only truly become who we are and who

we want to be if we start choosing that

and choosing your name is is quite a big

identity shift it's not small yeah and

choosing it as a kid is really hard

because like you said he could have

ended up as Rocky right yeah we should

have been here

can you imagine that it would have been

a very different life yeah isn't that

weird yeah like if you and also I kind

of for a time I felt you know in my line

your behavior I talk about kind of

stepping into the character of yourself

and I guess for some time Roxy gave me

this character of someone I wanted to be

like I wanted to be more confident I

wanted to feel like I was included in

school and so it gave me this kind of

space to do that eventually it's just

become who I am but you know there was

always in that time when I was in my

teens it was like Roxy was the social me

and Rowan was the me at home and I kind

of liked that you know in a way but now

it's merged into one for me my identity

became class Rebel Class Clown you know

the bad the bad kid in school not

imagine that it was really bad if you if

you speak to any of my friends from the

age of 15 to 18 they would just be like

this is Jay's a totally different human

today like not not in the sense of how I

am with people just what I was into and

that was the part where I was struggling

where in my heart I've always been the

same person I am today it's just I

didn't think that

for a long time I didn't believe that

vulnerability was strength or I didn't

feel that love was good or that I didn't

feel that serving others was

aspirational because that wasn't

rewarded around me so what was rewarded

around me was who's a rebel who's a

clown who's who can get away with stuff

like that was what was rewarded as or

praised by your Social Circle and so

then I was just pretending to be someone

that I wasn't even though it felt so uncomfortable

uncomfortable

uh which when we come to aligning your

behavior I think that's half the issue where

where

my behavior when I was a teen was

aligned with a reality or a truth that I

would never have subscribed to like if

you said to me Jay this is what you're

actually doing and I think we don't we

don't really look at what our Behavior

aligns with we kind of just go with it

and we think it's us when you talk about

aligning your behavior where are the

common mistakes that we make when

aligning our Behavior because and this

is what I think ultimately goes back to

the first point you made

where you said that we have to know who

we want to be and I think when we talk

about manifesting we don't I think

people talk about what their goal is

yeah so someone wants to manifest making

a billion dollars right making this up

someone's hypothetical example aligning

their behavior means doing anything to

be able to make a billion dollars like

you're ready to do anything because the

goal wasn't set from a place of knowing

who you want to be so now it's about

getting something which means you're

pretty open to any Behavior yeah does

that make sense so talk to us about

going back to who you want to be in

aligning your behavior with that I feel

like how does someone think about who

they want to be in a healthy way because

I think Society is programmed us to say

you want to be a podcaster we want to be

an author you want to be a billionaire

like the word that follows B is rarely

who that's what you want to do that's

not who you want to be so true so true

yeah and I guess it is you know it's

about with who you want to be it's

for me that means kind of

how you want to show up to the world

what values are important to you what

relationships you have

um how you want to feel within yourself

how much Integrity you have

um for me for example I really wanted to

be someone who was really confident in

themselves and confident in being a kind

person so it's really interesting that

you touched on that but being kind

wasn't cool right at school the people

that were cool were the ones who were a

bit nasty who mocked other people even

when we would watch TV shows you know

all the cool kids were kind of the mean

ones and even like if you would look at

like in the pr and fashion world like

the mean people were kind of glamorized

and I've always been quite a gentle I

think really nice person and that was

something that I used to be quite

ashamed of in a way and I used to think

that people would just look down on me

because of that quality

and so for me I wanted to be able to

just really be authentic in my kindness

and go hey I actually really like that

I'm sweet to people and I'm not going to

judge myself for it I want to be someone

that thrives in it that loves myself for

that quality and I know that the right

tribe will come to me for that

and I think it comes back to this point

you made earlier about

when you were talking about fear and

doubt you said you know there is so much

worry about external validation and in

the manifesting process one really

important thing is that you have to be

able to let go of the need for approval

from others energy is directional you

cannot be constantly focusing on what

other people want from you while

simultaneously focusing on who you want

to become you can't go both ways and I

describe it like this I actually

describe it like this in my next book but

but

imagine you're running a race and you

want to get to the Finish Line if you're

running this race and you're looking

over at the person next to you to see

how far they're going or you want to see

if they're looking at you you're going

to trip and fall

you have to stay completely razor sharp

with razor sharp focus on your own lane

on your own Journey on your own

alignment on who you want to be and for

that we have to be able to live

knowing that and being okay with the

fact that not everybody is going to like

us it has been the most liberating thing

for me to understand that I don't need

to be liked by everyone you know as I'm

growing and spreading my message some

people are gonna love me others are

going to find me really annoying they're

not gonna like what I say they're not

gonna like how I say it and that is okay

and one thing that helped me be okay

with it and I hope will help some

listeners be okay with it is that nobody

on Earth is universally liked when I

realize that everything changed if I

look at my best friends uh people I

Inspire that inspire me in the media

celebrities I love as many people love

them there are others who can't stand

them absolutely and that was really

reassuring for me I was like hey these

people that I love have people that

don't like them and hey it's the same

for me as well and that

let it like it Set Me Free it Set Me

Free and it gave me the space to be

myself and in that I was able to let go

of this need for external validation and

this constant desire to be what other

people wanted me to be and actually just

be who I am and as soon as I did that

everything started aligning the universe

that is supporting me and

I felt like you know I said in the

beginning this isn't Magic but it feels

magical I feel like my life is magical

because not because there aren't

stresses that I have to overcome but but

because I'm living in true alignment

with who I am yeah I I love that phrase

of it's not magic but it feels magical because

because

I think that's the issue with

manifestation that's always been

presented is magical and

in that way

and like you're saying that the actual

method is not magical the method is

structured and there's a process and

there's a system and then the result is

magical and and that really aligns with

me I I really really

I've never heard anyone say that before

and I really love that like it really

resonates and and I can say the same for

me like I feel like I live a miracle

every day but I know the process isn't

that and I want to talk a bit about that

that part of aligning the behavior

is getting good at doing things when you

don't want to do them I'm getting good

at things that you may not have wanted

to get good at like I think people feel

that people who manifest their ideal

life they wake up and they do only what

they want for 24 hours in a day I don't

think that's fully true and I think I

felt misled for a long time where I was like yeah I love what I do and I

like yeah I love what I do and I realized I do love what I do but I also

realized I do love what I do but I also do a lot of what I don't love doing in

do a lot of what I don't love doing in order to do more of what I love to do

order to do more of what I love to do and and I feel like that's where a lot

and and I feel like that's where a lot of people leave the journey because you

of people leave the journey because you start doing what you love so I started

start doing what you love so I started making content which I loved and sharing

making content which I loved and sharing this message and speaking on stages and

this message and speaking on stages and then all of a sudden I had to think

then all of a sudden I had to think about building teams and organizing and

about building teams and organizing and growing which wasn't stuff that I would

growing which wasn't stuff that I would say I love doing compared to doing this

say I love doing compared to doing this but I had to learn that in order to

but I had to learn that in order to serve the greater Mission and I realized

serve the greater Mission and I realized if I have to learn something in order to

if I have to learn something in order to serve my mission in manifesting

serve my mission in manifesting then that's part of the manifesting that

then that's part of the manifesting that isn't excluded because I don't enjoy it

isn't excluded because I don't enjoy it does yeah where does that sit with you

does yeah where does that sit with you on 100 and it's why because being clear

on 100 and it's why because being clear and your vision is so important yeah

and your vision is so important yeah because it's giving you that reason that

because it's giving you that reason that why why you're doing the things that you

why why you're doing the things that you don't enjoy necessarily or that aren't

don't enjoy necessarily or that aren't your favorite part of the process but

your favorite part of the process but you're doing them anyway because of this

you're doing them anyway because of this greater thing and you know I think that

greater thing and you know I think that we kind of I don't know if you agree but

we kind of I don't know if you agree but there is an aversion to discomfort like

there is an aversion to discomfort like we are always trying to like avoid

we are always trying to like avoid not always and not everyone but we can

not always and not everyone but we can try to avoid things that feel

try to avoid things that feel uncomfortable hard work things that we

uncomfortable hard work things that we don't want to do because our brain is

don't want to do because our brain is always trying to keep us like as safe

always trying to keep us like as safe and happy as possible and it's also you

and happy as possible and it's also you know a lot of that is also coming from a

know a lot of that is also coming from a place of fear as well like that can't go

place of fear as well like that can't go unsaid but and I know this kind of

unsaid but and I know this kind of phrase is some people don't like it but

phrase is some people don't like it but I do believe that part of self-love is

I do believe that part of self-love is self-discipline it's be a there's a you

self-discipline it's be a there's a you know there's a fine line between

know there's a fine line between giving yourself compassion and space to

giving yourself compassion and space to like be gentle with yourself and give

like be gentle with yourself and give yourself space to like experience the

yourself space to like experience the whole spectrum of emotions then

whole spectrum of emotions then sometimes we do need to just go hey you

sometimes we do need to just go hey you need to finish doing your account even

need to finish doing your account even though it's really boring and even

though it's really boring and even though it makes you feel like your

though it makes you feel like your brain's going to explode but you need to

brain's going to explode but you need to do them because it's part of this

do them because it's part of this greater picture and it's going to get

greater picture and it's going to get you closer to where you want to go and

you closer to where you want to go and it's also the same with any time you

it's also the same with any time you have an opportunity to step outside your

have an opportunity to step outside your comfort zone you know to take risks to

comfort zone you know to take risks to do things despite the fear of being

do things despite the fear of being rejected or the fear of failure or

rejected or the fear of failure or whatever it is and the more that we can

whatever it is and the more that we can we train our brain to find

we train our brain to find this motivation and commitment to going

this motivation and commitment to going beyond what we feel is comfortable you

beyond what we feel is comfortable you know that's where we see the real growth

know that's where we see the real growth um I always say like there's a great

um I always say like there's a great quote which is nothing changes if

quote which is nothing changes if nothing changes but I also love you know

nothing changes but I also love you know I say in my book is if you want to see

I say in my book is if you want to see and create change in your life you have

and create change in your life you have to be the change like you are the

to be the change like you are the driving force behind everything you talk

driving force behind everything you talk about Envy in your book and I find Envy

about Envy in your book and I find Envy fascinating because The Vedas talk a lot

fascinating because The Vedas talk a lot about it which are the books I studied

about it which are the books I studied as a monk I've I've found Envy to be one

as a monk I've I've found Envy to be one of the most interesting emotions it's

of the most interesting emotions it's it's fascinating as an emotion to me to

it's fascinating as an emotion to me to have to figure out where is it coming

have to figure out where is it coming from what's it doing and you talk about

from what's it doing and you talk about in the book how you turn Envy into

in the book how you turn Envy into inspirational or that's what you

inspirational or that's what you recommend in manifesting

recommend in manifesting what is Envia representation of for you

what is Envia representation of for you and and how have you made sense of it

and and how have you made sense of it when you talk about turning into

when you talk about turning into inspiration yeah so I think this is a

inspiration yeah so I think this is a really important important step for all

really important important step for all of us so Envy comes from this scarcity

of us so Envy comes from this scarcity mindset that there's not enough to go

mindset that there's not enough to go around so if you have something it's

around so if you have something it's potentially less for me and it's coming

potentially less for me and it's coming from this place of fear so I always say

from this place of fear so I always say Envy is fearing doubt in disguise

Envy is fearing doubt in disguise what often happens is that we are

what often happens is that we are constantly trying to deny ourselves of

constantly trying to deny ourselves of our Envy we don't want to admit when

our Envy we don't want to admit when we're feeling it whenever I'm in a

we're feeling it whenever I'm in a workshop and I talk about Envy

workshop and I talk about Envy you could hear a pin drop because nobody

you could hear a pin drop because nobody wants to like give away that they've

wants to like give away that they've ever felt Envy before you know there's

ever felt Envy before you know there's so much shame around it you know it's

so much shame around it you know it's definitely you know look at the Disney

definitely you know look at the Disney film that's like the green eyed monster

film that's like the green eyed monster you know they're always the villains are

you know they're always the villains are the envious ones

the envious ones and when we don't

and when we don't kind of admit our Envy we pass it on

kind of admit our Envy we pass it on often as judgment or criticism of others

often as judgment or criticism of others so true so we see a confident person

so true so we see a confident person walk through the door and we go oh

walk through the door and we go oh they're so full of themselves

they're so full of themselves or we see a couple kind of you know

or we see a couple kind of you know kissing on the street oh get a room

kissing on the street oh get a room we're constantly passing this judgment

we're constantly passing this judgment of other people and I think that it's

of other people and I think that it's just Envy coming out and so at the very

just Envy coming out and so at the very first step what I really encourage

first step what I really encourage people to do is just start to take

people to do is just start to take ownership of it look out for any time

ownership of it look out for any time you're judging or criticizing others and

you're judging or criticizing others and seeing is this really a sign that I'm

seeing is this really a sign that I'm feeling envious of something that they

feeling envious of something that they have or something that they're doing

have or something that they're doing also when you know you know we there are

also when you know you know we there are times where the Envy is just blatant

times where the Envy is just blatant like your friend gets a job promotion

like your friend gets a job promotion and you wanted that job promotion or you

and you wanted that job promotion or you know if you see someone getting engaged

know if you see someone getting engaged and you're really you know waiting for

and you're really you know waiting for your partner to propose then it's more

your partner to propose then it's more obvious but either way when we notice

obvious but either way when we notice that Envy or we you know realize that

that Envy or we you know realize that we've been judging someone and we've

we've been judging someone and we've been disguising it yes I am feeling

been disguising it yes I am feeling envious that's okay there's nothing

envious that's okay there's nothing wrong with that it's not making me a bad

wrong with that it's not making me a bad person but what is this showing me it's

person but what is this showing me it's showing me that something still needs

showing me that something still needs healing within me whether that's an

healing within me whether that's an insecurity or just a real doubt that

insecurity or just a real doubt that there is enough for everybody to go

there is enough for everybody to go around

around to then take it further we can turn that

to then take it further we can turn that and transform it into inspiration

and transform it into inspiration inspiration is the antithesis of Envy it

inspiration is the antithesis of Envy it says that there is enough for us all it

says that there is enough for us all it comes from a really abundant mindset

comes from a really abundant mindset what you have something and I can have

what you have something and I can have it too and I truly believe there is an

it too and I truly believe there is an abundant of Love success happiness and

abundant of Love success happiness and money in the universe for us all

money in the universe for us all and so what I encourage people to to do

and so what I encourage people to to do constantly is try to get into this habit

constantly is try to get into this habit of turning that envious thought of

of turning that envious thought of feeling first by owning it and being

feeling first by owning it and being compassionate around it and then

compassionate around it and then transforming it into inspiration so for

transforming it into inspiration so for example if you see someone getting

example if you see someone getting married and you're going oh my God

married and you're going oh my God everybody's getting married around me

everybody's getting married around me I'm so jealous you can transform it to

I'm so jealous you can transform it to isn't this another beautiful

isn't this another beautiful representation of love I can't wait to

representation of love I can't wait to have that for myself when the time is

have that for myself when the time is right so we always have this opportunity

right so we always have this opportunity to transform this very low vibrational

to transform this very low vibrational feeling of envy and turn it into

feeling of envy and turn it into something that is high vibrational that

something that is high vibrational that is more empowering that feels better and

is more empowering that feels better and it's why you know supporting each other

it's why you know supporting each other celebrating each other is so important

celebrating each other is so important that's awesome I'm so glad we talked

that's awesome I'm so glad we talked about that because

about that because yeah I find that Envy can also be the

yeah I find that Envy can also be the biggest block to manifesting because if

biggest block to manifesting because if you ultimately after doing all these

you ultimately after doing all these steps at step six are feeling envious of

steps at step six are feeling envious of others it it just takes all of that high

others it it just takes all of that high vibrational energy back to low

vibrational energy back to low vibrational energy and it's Envy's one

vibrational energy and it's Envy's one of those like

of those like I know there's there's all these new

I know there's there's all these new thoughts about you know Envy's a sign of

thoughts about you know Envy's a sign of what you really want and things like

what you really want and things like that I'm I'm not fully in agreement of

that I'm I'm not fully in agreement of that like I don't I don't think that I

that like I don't I don't think that I often think that our Envy just exists

often think that our Envy just exists much more broadly uh if you have narrow

much more broadly uh if you have narrow Envy in an industry or space you're

Envy in an industry or space you're probably luckier generally we can feel

probably luckier generally we can feel envious of lots of different people for

envious of lots of different people for lots of different things because we

lots of different things because we don't know our own values when you know

don't know our own values when you know your values you'll only be envious of

your values you'll only be envious of people in your value space and that's

people in your value space and that's helpful as a start but you're so right

helpful as a start but you're so right that yeah if you if you find yourself

that yeah if you if you find yourself falling into the Envy it's not even what

falling into the Envy it's not even what you share with others it's holding that

you share with others it's holding that bitterness within your own heart and

bitterness within your own heart and mind horrible it's horrible like it's

mind horrible it's horrible like it's just it's just so polluting and letting

just it's just so polluting and letting go of it and for me what's really helped

go of it and for me what's really helped is again again getting really clear on

is again again getting really clear on what you said that if I'm doing my thing

what you said that if I'm doing my thing it really doesn't matter what anyone

it really doesn't matter what anyone else is doing and it won't have that

else is doing and it won't have that someone else's moves don't influence

someone else's moves don't influence mine and someone else's wins and losses

mine and someone else's wins and losses don't influence your mind and I think

don't influence your mind and I think it's also this is what I wanted to get

it's also this is what I wanted to get to it's also the other way around

to it's also the other way around sometimes Envy is you can't enjoy

sometimes Envy is you can't enjoy someone else's wins but sometimes Envy

someone else's wins but sometimes Envy is you deeply enjoy someone's losses

is you deeply enjoy someone's losses yeah so when someone loses you take joy

yeah so when someone loses you take joy in it and someone wins you don't care

in it and someone wins you don't care but when you take joy in someone's loss

but when you take joy in someone's loss I I see this in the news every day like

I I see this in the news every day like when people get divorced and we're like

when people get divorced and we're like oh we knew they'd get divorced we told

oh we knew they'd get divorced we told you so uh someone loses a game and we're

you so uh someone loses a game and we're like oh you're the worst player of all

like oh you're the worst player of all time like we take so much joy in other

time like we take so much joy in other people's loss or in other people's

people's loss or in other people's failure or supposed failure and we don't

failure or supposed failure and we don't realize that when that same thing

realize that when that same thing happens to us we're gonna treat

happens to us we're gonna treat ourselves the same way now God forbid

ourselves the same way now God forbid you go through something similar that

you go through something similar that you condemned online you're going to

you condemned online you're going to condemn yourself through that whole

condemn yourself through that whole process rather than giving yourself

process rather than giving yourself compassion in space it's so true I I

compassion in space it's so true I I similarly I always say that every time

similarly I always say that every time you're judging someone else you are like

you're judging someone else you are like compounding and building this fear that

compounding and building this fear that other people are judging you yeah and

other people are judging you yeah and that you will then judge yourself more

that you will then judge yourself more so actually the less we do it for other

so actually the less we do it for other people the less we find joy in other

people the less we find joy in other people's losses and the less we find

people's losses and the less we find ourselves judging and criticizing others

ourselves judging and criticizing others actually the less we'll do it to

actually the less we'll do it to ourselves or fear that other people will

ourselves or fear that other people will do it to us as well so I think it's a

do it to us as well so I think it's a really really important one to talk

really really important one to talk about and I think you know

about and I think you know personally it's something that's really

personally it's something that's really empowered me to manifest because like

empowered me to manifest because like you say of course it's a big block

you say of course it's a big block because if I was you know when my book

because if I was you know when my book came out I'm going into this you know

came out I'm going into this you know into having a career in the self-help

into having a career in the self-help you know industry let's call it if I was

you know industry let's call it if I was thinking oh my gosh no there's so many

thinking oh my gosh no there's so many successes the Jay Shetty is like he's

successes the Jay Shetty is like he's got millions of followers and I'm never

got millions of followers and I'm never going to be that big and if I started

going to be that big and if I started having that I would be totally blocking

having that I would be totally blocking myself right but we're all on the same

myself right but we're all on the same Mission we are all here to help people

Mission we are all here to help people and inspire people and for every coach

and inspire people and for every coach healer author out there there are

healer author out there there are thousands of people wanting to learn yes

thousands of people wanting to learn yes and who listens and hears my message and

and who listens and hears my message and takes it in yeah is supposed to be in my

takes it in yeah is supposed to be in my tribe but I'm like I said I'm not for

tribe but I'm like I said I'm not for everyone and so for other people they'll

everyone and so for other people they'll hear you speak and that will resonate

hear you speak and that will resonate way more with them or they'll hear

way more with them or they'll hear another coach speak or another speaker

another coach speak or another speaker another author and that's great yeah

another author and that's great yeah because we're all we're all on the same

because we're all we're all on the same Mission and that's an abundant mindset

Mission and that's an abundant mindset and that's why I can look at you and

and that's why I can look at you and brene brown and Tony robbers and anyone

brene brown and Tony robbers and anyone in this world and go that is so

in this world and go that is so inspiring I love seeing people help

inspiring I love seeing people help other people yeah exactly and I think

other people yeah exactly and I think you identified it perfectly there it's

you identified it perfectly there it's the real question is

the real question is are we here for the healing are we here

are we here for the healing are we here for us and and that's really the

for us and and that's really the question and if you're really in it for

question and if you're really in it for the healing then anyone who's a Healer

the healing then anyone who's a Healer you'll appreciate them even if their

you'll appreciate them even if their healing style is different but that sign

healing style is different but that sign that sign is so clear when you're like

that sign is so clear when you're like oh yeah I don't like the way they're

oh yeah I don't like the way they're doing it don't like the way I don't

doing it don't like the way I don't agree with them or they're not and

agree with them or they're not and that's it just creates fractions and

that's it just creates fractions and fractures internally as well so I'm so

fractures internally as well so I'm so glad you brought that up too it's

glad you brought that up too it's beautiful and I think as you were

beautiful and I think as you were talking I was piecing a thought together

talking I was piecing a thought together and it's this idea of how Comfort

and it's this idea of how Comfort creates self-care

creates self-care but discomfort creates self-respect

but discomfort creates self-respect I love that yeah and it just hit me

I love that yeah and it just hit me while you were talking

while you were talking and I was thinking that

and I was thinking that discomfort has actually brought me so

discomfort has actually brought me so much more

much more than comfort and now I appreciate

than comfort and now I appreciate comfort more because I know I can get

comfort more because I know I can get into discomfort when I need to and so

into discomfort when I need to and so the self-respect that comes from

the self-respect that comes from discomfort

discomfort create such a confidence and a Swagger

create such a confidence and a Swagger and an energy that then you cradle with

and an energy that then you cradle with Comfort when you need to yeah as opposed

Comfort when you need to yeah as opposed to when you've only cuddled and

to when you've only cuddled and comforted the whole time it's really

comforted the whole time it's really hard to then have that feeling of

hard to then have that feeling of self-respect so every time I go through

self-respect so every time I go through something tough I'm like God I did that

something tough I'm like God I did that like every time I break through

like every time I break through something I'm like I can do hard things

something I'm like I can do hard things like I can do really tough stuff and

like I can do really tough stuff and that builds self-respect and

that builds self-respect and self-respect is what I need in order to

self-respect is what I need in order to function in life to build self-worth in

function in life to build self-worth in order to have self-belief does that yeah

order to have self-belief does that yeah oh I love that I love that and I think

oh I love that I love that and I think you're absolutely right I mean there's

you're absolutely right I mean there's no better feeling than doing something

no better feeling than doing something that you thought you couldn't or being

that you thought you couldn't or being able to have that mindset you know even

able to have that mindset you know even little things like little things like

little things like little things like for me in my ice bath yesterday six

for me in my ice bath yesterday six minutes I was like this is so hard

minutes I was like this is so hard yeah I was like I'm so cold ah and I

yeah I was like I'm so cold ah and I just like tapped into that kind of

just like tapped into that kind of mental strength I was like discomfort is

mental strength I was like discomfort is okay and afterwards I felt so proud of

okay and afterwards I felt so proud of myself and it's quite similar to

myself and it's quite similar to self-trust I always say like follow

self-trust I always say like follow through with things that you say you're

through with things that you say you're gonna do because that builds self-trust

gonna do because that builds self-trust which again impacts that self-worth that

which again impacts that self-worth that self-esteem that self-confidence you

self-esteem that self-confidence you know the every time we say to ourselves

know the every time we say to ourselves I'm not gonna drink tonight and then you

I'm not gonna drink tonight and then you go out and drink you're losing that

go out and drink you're losing that self-trust or when you say I'm gonna

self-trust or when you say I'm gonna finish that you know assignment today

finish that you know assignment today and then you don't you're losing that

and then you don't you're losing that self-trust but when you actually do

self-trust but when you actually do things like you know push through

things like you know push through discomfort or you follow through with

discomfort or you follow through with things that you get you say you're going

things that you get you say you're going to do you're building self-discipline

to do you're building self-discipline self-respect self-trust and all these

self-respect self-trust and all these things combined is what is making you

things combined is what is making you feel more empowered more confident and

feel more empowered more confident and in that empowerment you take steps that

in that empowerment you take steps that you never thought were possible to live

you never thought were possible to live a dream that you feel so proud of yeah

a dream that you feel so proud of yeah absolutely and it's doing what what's

absolutely and it's doing what what's really hitting me right now with with

really hitting me right now with with what you're saying is that it's doing

what you're saying is that it's doing hard things that are meaningful to you

hard things that are meaningful to you the challenges a lot of us are doing

the challenges a lot of us are doing hard things that are not meaningful for

hard things that are not meaningful for us so when you break through something

us so when you break through something hard that's not meaningful to you it

hard that's not meaningful to you it doesn't feel great and so I do believe

doesn't feel great and so I do believe people are doing hard things every day I

people are doing hard things every day I do believe people are working hard every

do believe people are working hard every day I do believe that people are

day I do believe that people are struggling every day but often it's

struggling every day but often it's towards something that isn't important

towards something that isn't important to them and so if we can find a way to

to them and so if we can find a way to do hard things that are meaningful to us

do hard things that are meaningful to us that can unlock a whole new mindset and

that can unlock a whole new mindset and totally make it easy to manifest yeah

totally make it easy to manifest yeah Brett's I was talking to someone about

Brett's I was talking to someone about it yesterday there is this kind of

it yesterday there is this kind of feeling there that life is hard and it

feeling there that life is hard and it should be hard but in the wrong ways yes

should be hard but in the wrong ways yes right you know whereas this is like what

right you know whereas this is like what we're talking about something very

we're talking about something very different it's a like and I just really

different it's a like and I just really resonated with that that it is about

resonated with that that it is about working hard for these things are

working hard for these things are meaningful yeah well it's what you said

meaningful yeah well it's what you said earlier and I love that that's where you

earlier and I love that that's where you start with just being clear about your

start with just being clear about your values and knowing what you want and not

values and knowing what you want and not wanting something because someone else

wanting something because someone else thinks it's cool like I do think that

thinks it's cool like I do think that there are there's a mindset in the world

there are there's a mindset in the world where it's like it's cool not to care

where it's like it's cool not to care and then right and then there's a

and then right and then there's a mindset the other way where it's like

mindset the other way where it's like it's cool to really care it's like and

it's cool to really care it's like and it's like both are fine but just choose

it's like both are fine but just choose which one you want to be like you know

which one you want to be like you know it doesn't like some people like oh it's

it doesn't like some people like oh it's cool not to care about what you wear

cool not to care about what you wear yeah and some people like no it's cool

yeah and some people like no it's cool to care about you what you wear neither

to care about you what you wear neither is right or wrong yeah but most of us

is right or wrong yeah but most of us subscribe to one because of what people

subscribe to one because of what people around us think as opposed to that's how

around us think as opposed to that's how I want to be yeah and and I think that

I want to be yeah and and I think that that's the freeing element of all of

that's the freeing element of all of this it's like how many decisions can

this it's like how many decisions can you make in your day that were made

you make in your day that were made because they were decisions you wanted

because they were decisions you wanted to make not because someone wanted you

to make not because someone wanted you to make them not because someone forced

to make them not because someone forced or influenced you but that you knew they

or influenced you but that you knew they were right for you that that's really

were right for you that that's really what we're talking about absolutely so I

what we're talking about absolutely so I couldn't agree more yeah yeah Roxy it

couldn't agree more yeah yeah Roxy it has been so fun talking to you you uh

has been so fun talking to you you uh are you're definitely a kind warm

are you're definitely a kind warm wonderful person in person too so and

wonderful person in person too so and that we both found the courage to become

that we both found the courage to become ourselves in public because when you

ourselves in public because when you said that too I can resonate with that

said that too I can resonate with that so deeply where even for years I was

so deeply where even for years I was just like yeah I you know you have to

just like yeah I you know you have to kind of play this role that you don't

kind of play this role that you don't want to play and I'm so glad I let go of

want to play and I'm so glad I let go of that I'm so glad you did too yeah but

that I'm so glad you did too yeah but for everyone who's been listening I want

for everyone who's been listening I want you to go out and grab a copy of

you to go out and grab a copy of manifest seven steps to living your best

manifest seven steps to living your best life by Roxanna fousey please do not uh

life by Roxanna fousey please do not uh miss out on grabbing this book the seven

miss out on grabbing this book the seven steps we talked about a few of my

steps we talked about a few of my favorite ones today there's so many more

favorite ones today there's so many more and I'm hoping Roxy will come back uh

and I'm hoping Roxy will come back uh for her next book uh but please do grab

for her next book uh but please do grab this please do use it use it practically

this please do use it use it practically use it as a workbook not just a reading

use it as a workbook not just a reading book uh because that's what it's built

book uh because that's what it's built to do and Roxy we end every on-purpose

to do and Roxy we end every on-purpose episode with a final five yeah uh so I

episode with a final five yeah uh so I hope you haven't been practicing too

hope you haven't been practicing too much no I haven't I've Just In This

much no I haven't I've Just In This Moment yeah you did did you do the first

Moment yeah you did did you do the first film with Alex Cooper no no we've done

film with Alex Cooper no no we've done final five forever but that I'm gonna do

final five forever but that I'm gonna do it

what was the thing okay good all right so Roxy these are your final five

so Roxy these are your final five question number one what is the best

question number one what is the best manifestation advice you've ever

manifestation advice you've ever received or heard that we manifest what

received or heard that we manifest what we subconsciously believe we are worthy

we subconsciously believe we are worthy of receiving hmm great answer all right

of receiving hmm great answer all right second question what is the worst

second question what is the worst manifesting advice you've ever heard or

manifesting advice you've ever heard or received that if you think about

received that if you think about something hard enough it will appear for

something hard enough it will appear for you number three is how would you define

you number three is how would you define your current purpose to help and Inspire

your current purpose to help and Inspire others to find The Light Within them

others to find The Light Within them beautiful I love that uh so clear all

beautiful I love that uh so clear all these answers

these answers uh question number four is I love that

uh question number four is I love that you talked about keeping your uh vision

you talked about keeping your uh vision board like private and sacred and like

board like private and sacred and like more internal like where do you keep it

more internal like where do you keep it do you do it on a on a board a pad a

do you do it on a on a board a pad a journal like what's what's your way I

journal like what's what's your way I have the most basic vision board like

have the most basic vision board like you have ever seen for someone that

you have ever seen for someone that talks so much about manifesting is

talks so much about manifesting is actually quite embarrassing I have

actually quite embarrassing I have really terrible handwriting firstly I'll

really terrible handwriting firstly I'll say you'll see on your side book but um

say you'll see on your side book but um I get like an A4 piece of card and I

I get like an A4 piece of card and I write in felt it brilliant I love it and

write in felt it brilliant I love it and that's it y'all show you because I'm

that's it y'all show you because I'm gonna send you a picture it's just felt

gonna send you a picture it's just felt tip pen bullet points of everything I'm

tip pen bullet points of everything I'm not a very visual person in terms of

not a very visual person in terms of like I don't like using the magazines

like I don't like using the magazines and stuff like that it's just bullet

and stuff like that it's just bullet points to the point all the words all

points to the point all the words all the things I want I kind of put some

the things I want I kind of put some headers on it that's it and then I tuck

headers on it that's it and then I tuck it on the floor under my wardrobe I love

it on the floor under my wardrobe I love it that's brilliant that's fantastic

it that's brilliant that's fantastic that's great uh Fifth and final question

that's great uh Fifth and final question if you could create one law in the world

if you could create one law in the world that everyone had to follow what would

that everyone had to follow what would it be I would love if there was a ban on

it be I would love if there was a ban on bitching about other people like I just

bitching about other people like I just think it's so toxic for ourselves

think it's so toxic for ourselves because if there wasn't that we wouldn't

because if there wasn't that we wouldn't have this constant fear of what other

have this constant fear of what other people think and then we would all be

people think and then we would all be living in alignment so yeah that's a

living in alignment so yeah that's a great answer yeah if we had the ability

great answer yeah if we had the ability to evaluate and assess what people were

to evaluate and assess what people were doing and saying as opposed to yeah

doing and saying as opposed to yeah directly going into that negativity yeah

directly going into that negativity yeah yeah I love that uh ever on the book

yeah I love that uh ever on the book again it's called manifest seven steps

again it's called manifest seven steps to living your best life uh make sure

to living your best life uh make sure you go and order your coffee now Roxy

you go and order your coffee now Roxy thank you so much for doing this oh

thank you so much for doing this oh thank you it's been such a joy talking

thank you it's been such a joy talking to you I've Loved I've made so many

to you I've Loved I've made so many great connections in this conversation

great connections in this conversation which is what I count as a good

which is what I count as a good conversation so you've inspired me in so

conversation so you've inspired me in so many ways and so many ideas that came

many ways and so many ideas that came out and I'm so grateful that you're

out and I'm so grateful that you're doing the work you're doing thank you so

doing the work you're doing thank you so much for thank you leading this path to

much for thank you leading this path to redefining manifesting thank you and uh

redefining manifesting thank you and uh everyone is watching or listening make

everyone is watching or listening make sure you tag Roxy and I on Instagram on

sure you tag Roxy and I on Instagram on Twitter on any social media platform you

Twitter on any social media platform you use on Tick Tock share your highlights

use on Tick Tock share your highlights from this interview uh if there are any

from this interview uh if there are any Clips or any insights that stood out to

Clips or any insights that stood out to you please pass them along and make sure

you please pass them along and make sure you share this with a friend and start

you share this with a friend and start manifesting thank you for listening and

manifesting thank you for listening and I'll see you next week on on purpose if

I'll see you next week on on purpose if you want

one you know that you can now get my book think like a monk from think like a

book think like a monk from think like a monkbook.com check Below in the

monkbook.com check Below in the description to make sure you order today

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