0:06 2025 is almost over.
0:08 I submitted final grades about two days ago,
0:10 ago, maybe.
0:12 maybe.
0:14 Oh, it doesn't matter when when I did
0:18 it. Uh, this semester was
0:20 I mean, I don't think I made a single
0:23 video this semester.
0:26 The last video I made,
0:30 I don't even remember. I think it was
0:33 what did I do something about PhD and
0:37 MIT and AC/DC
0:44 There was a video that was to be
0:46 published to the channel but I deleted
0:49 it. I had it unlisted.
0:52 Uh so uh
0:54 uh
0:57 okay. So, I guess uh viewer discretion
0:59 is advised for this part. It's not very
1:01 a pleasant topic.
1:03 But shortly after that video was
1:06 uploaded to YouTube, I um
1:09 went on vacation and then one week
1:11 later, we were driving back home from vacation.
1:13 vacation.
1:18 We being me and a party went together.
1:20 We were driving back home and we
1:22 encountered a drunk driver on the road
1:25 and a drunk driver hit our car at pretty
1:26 high speed
1:30 and the car we were driving was my car
1:32 and it ended up completely destroying
1:33 the car and almost killing all of us inside.
1:36 inside.
1:38 And so that was kind of like it you
1:41 would think that uh it would be more
1:45 traumainducing than it was. But
1:47 I think because we were all walking away
1:50 without any serious injuries, we were
1:53 bruised up, don't get me wrong. The car
1:56 did flip upside down, our car,
1:58 but um
2:04 not as PTSD inducing as you might think. Um,
2:09 I mean pretty much like the next day
2:12 like I was sore but I wasn't having like
2:20 And then I made a YouTube So that was
2:22 what the YouTube video was about. I'm
2:24 not I'm kind of disheveled at the
2:26 moment. It's like 11:00 p.m. So, my
2:30 story is getting not as
2:32 in order as I'd like to usually tell
2:34 stories, but
2:36 I made a video about it. I uploaded it
2:38 to YouTube. I had it unlisted and I just
2:41 felt weird about the whole thing. So,
2:43 So,
2:45 I deleted the video. It was never made
2:48 public, so no one watched it.
2:51 And pretty much after that upload, you know,
2:53 know,
2:54 you think about like how much you put
2:56 yourself out there on YouTube for people
2:59 to see. I bet if I went back in time and
3:01 saw like my first video on this channel
3:04 about like the type of math and my whole
3:06 philosophy of how grades are made and
3:08 all this stuff, I'd probably cringe to
3:10 death. But that was that that was kind
3:12 of the whole point of the channel to
3:15 begin with was to see how you grow and
3:19 change over the course of a PhD program,
3:22 let alone like survive a terrible car
3:24 accident. And that was my car. That was
3:27 my car was destroyed. I I lost my car.
3:31 My car was good. I had a good car. So,
3:33 but the fact that none of us died was
3:35 probably, you know, was like, okay,
3:38 well, I missed the car, but I would have missed
3:40 missed
3:43 I would have missed the others had
3:46 something bad happened to them. So,
3:48 So,
3:50 that's where I've been, I guess. Like, I
3:53 mean, that was back in the summer
3:55 when that happened and then like the
3:56 whole fall semester happened. And
3:58 basically the only thing I did this
4:01 semester, well I did three things. Two
4:03 of those things was teach a class. I had
4:05 to take I had to teach two classes this
4:07 semester, which is one more than I
4:09 normally teach. I only usually teach
4:12 one. And you might think, oh, two
4:15 classes, boohoo. But two classes, you
4:17 know, some of these classes are very
4:21 homework heavy, in-class activity heavy.
4:23 And you know that adds up like when you
4:25 have a bunch of stuff to do every week.
4:27 When you have a bunch of stuff to do
4:29 every week and grade it just it
4:33 overwhelms you like a given week there
4:35 may be like literally like 120 papers to
4:38 grade. But those were two of the three
4:39 things. The other the third thing was
4:42 write my paper. So I wrote a paper. I
4:46 did novel research. I had a result that
4:51 is mine and I finished it. more or see I
4:52 I'm already saying more or less and
4:54 that's already kind of open up the doors
4:56 like did you actually finish the damn
5:00 paper I gave it to my advisor he is out
5:02 of the country right now he tells me
5:05 that he's going to read it like line by
5:07 line word for word and just start
5:10 tearing it apart which you know I I I
5:12 don't care he can do that I mean he's
5:13 supposed to do that like I'm not going
5:16 to be I do worry about whenever I write
5:19 something and I send it to him because
5:22 they have like these guys, they 100%
5:24 have the highest expectations. You
5:26 really don't want to write something stupid.
5:28 stupid.
5:29 Some of them will straight up say to
5:31 your face like, "You should be ashamed
5:33 of yourself." Like, like seriously, no
5:36 joke, you should be ashamed of yourself
5:40 for writing 2 plus 2 equals fish or
5:41 something. I mean, we would never do
5:44 that, but you get what I mean.
5:46 So there's there is pressure to make
5:49 sure everything's good. And I think that
5:52 what I sent him is
5:54 there. I did make one mistake. I for
5:56 like I know I'm not I don't have the
5:57 paper in front of me and I'm not going
5:59 to show it on the channel because it's
6:01 sensitive material.
6:03 Um and it's not published yet. But
6:05 basically I had a vector and then I had
6:08 a linear transformation and I said that
6:11 the norm since the norm of the vector
6:16 had was one its image vector I'm not
6:18 saying this right you have a vector v
6:21 you have a linear transformation T the
6:24 norm of V is one and then I said the
6:26 norm of TV is equal to one but I
6:29 actually don't know that so in my paper
6:31 I I can normalize it so that's norm is
6:33 one but it doesn't matter
6:35 This was generally the idea. So it was
6:36 something like that. I'm like, "Oh, I
6:38 no, no, no. I I know the I know the
6:40 image has doesn't necessarily have to
6:42 have norm one. It's definitely not norm
6:44 zero, but whatever. That's the that's
6:47 beside the point." Um,
6:48 Um, so
6:50 so
6:52 that's what I did. I taught two classes.
6:55 I wrote my paper.
6:57 It need the the last bit of the of the
7:00 main lema that I that that's mine still
7:03 needs to be polished, but it's it still
7:05 works. I know it works. We I I've talked
7:07 to enough people. It works. I know what
7:10 to do. It's just I'm having trouble
7:12 writing it in the best way possible.
7:15 Which reminds me of a, believe it or
7:17 not, I think it was a tweet. It was a
7:19 tweet that like made its round on social
7:21 media, but it resonated with me. I kind
7:23 of wish I saved it. Most time tweets are
7:25 stupid. you shouldn't read them. But
7:27 this one I thought was good. It was from
7:29 some academic
7:31 and he said, uh,
7:34 "Your thesis or PhD or whatever your
7:38 result, your result, um, I'm going to
7:40 butcher this.
7:42 Your result doesn't have to be perfect."
7:44 Okay, let's just say dissertation. Your
7:46 dissertation doesn't have to be perfect.
7:48 It just has to be done.
7:50 Like, get it done. Don't worry about
7:52 saying it the best way possible. just
7:54 make sure that it's done and it's
7:57 correct and just let it be. Like let
7:59 people poke and prod at it later.
8:00 They're like, "You could have said this
8:03 better." I'm like, "I don't care. You
8:05 write the paper if it bothers you that
8:07 much. I know it's right. I know it's
8:10 done. Let's be in
8:12 whatever. Whatever.
8:15 It's done." So anyway, like I know what
8:17 I'm going to do. So the paper's
8:20 basically done and we know what we're
8:21 going to do next with it. What we're
8:23 going to do next is we're going to gener
8:25 we're going to do two things. The first
8:28 thing is that the paper was written in
8:29 two dimensions and we're going to
8:32 generalize into n dimensions. Shouldn't
8:34 be too hard.
8:36 The second case
8:38 potentially is also just as easy, but
8:40 I'm just not seeing something and it's
8:41 really bugging me. And I'm going to talk
8:44 about why it's bugging me later. But
8:47 what it is is we're studying convex bodies.
8:49 bodies.
8:50 Don't worry about what a convex body is
8:53 here. Um
8:56 I don't know. Picture a circle. You know
8:59 what a circle looks like. Um so
9:02 so
9:05 if we call it we call this or a convex
9:08 body an origin symmetric convex body if
9:10 the set is equal to the negative of that
9:12 set. I mean what I mean is like it's
9:14 it's uh symmetric with respect to the
9:18 origin in the in uklitian space.
9:22 So my result requires origin symmetry of
9:25 the convex body that I'm studying. But
9:27 we believe and I believe like I showed
9:29 this to other people they believe it too
9:31 in the department people smarter than me
9:33 that you don't need origin symmetry and
9:35 you can get the same result. So it's
9:37 more general than that which is good. So
9:39 we can go into higher dimensions and we
9:41 can remove origin symmetry entirely out
9:45 of the out of the problem. And basically
9:49 that is my PhD. I want to tell you what
9:51 what it is. The thing that I did and I
9:55 say I but it's really a we because I
9:57 mean no one no one does something
9:59 completely by themsel. I mean a few
10:02 people can do that but the average
10:05 normal person has like a network and
10:06 they stand you've heard that old saying
10:08 like we stand on the shoulders of
10:11 giants. I am standing literal on literal
10:14 giants shoulders. So, I can't I feel
10:15 guilty when I say I have this result.
10:18 But here's the way I like to think of
10:20 it. They're the generals and I am boots
10:22 on the ground the soldier. I'm the one
10:23 out there
10:26 catching shrapnel. Scrap metal scrap.
10:28 I'm not What am I trying to say? I am
10:30 the soldier on the front lines. I'm in
10:33 the trenches following orders.
10:35 Or at least that's what I like to tell myself.
10:37 myself.
10:41 But, um,
10:43 that's that's the plan.
10:45 Next semester, I don't teach. I'm I
10:48 believe I'm an assistant or something
10:51 because they they gave me two classes to
10:52 teach this semester. They're going to go
10:56 easy on me next next time around. Um,
11:01 and then hopefully I I'll get more
11:03 research done. We're about to I'm about
11:10 probably work more on
11:13 work more on my um my paper. I haven't
11:15 touched my paper since well I I touched
11:18 it a little bit since I I mailed it to
11:21 my emailed it to my adviser and it and I
11:22 still can't get away from it and I still
11:24 need to work on it.
11:26 Um but I've been distracted for like the
11:29 past week with grading and final exams
11:31 and whatnot.
11:35 I want to tell you about a student. Um,
11:36 the story's not bad. This the story has
11:40 a happy ending. Um, so
11:42 so
11:45 on one day, the week before finals week,
11:48 I had an exam in a class and a student
11:50 did not show up and take it. And I
11:51 thought that was kind of weird because
11:54 this student has pretty good attendance.
11:57 So, I thought, "Huh, that's weird." And
12:00 then, uh, the next week was finals week
12:02 and she's there. I'm like, "Huh, okay."
12:05 She I guess she didn't give up. So, but
12:06 she didn't take the test from last week,
12:08 so it's a zero in the grade book. I
12:09 mean, I don't know what else score to
12:11 get. And she didn't say anything or and
12:12 didn't email me or do anything. So, I'm
12:15 like, "Okay, it's it's her score. She
12:17 can do with what she wants." So, I give
12:18 the final exam, take the final exam
12:22 home. I start grading it. And then I'm
12:24 going through it and, you know, putting
12:26 stuff in grade books and figuring
12:29 weights out and making sure that, you
12:31 know, I'm following the syllabus and
12:33 doing all this administrative. I don't
12:34 know if administrator is the right word,
12:36 but you know what I mean. When it's all
12:37 said and done, I submit the final
12:41 grades. And I kid you not, like like the
12:44 second after I submit final grades, I go
12:47 to my email to see if I got the receipt
12:49 that says you submitted final grades.
12:51 and she's in my email and she goes,
12:53 "Hey, why did I get a zero on that one exam?"
12:59 And I'm like, "Uh, cuz you didn't take
13:02 it." I didn't say that. I just said I
13:04 had to be, you know, polite and say,
13:10 "Um, I didn't say um but I said uh
13:11 I just I just told her like, "Are you
13:13 sure you took it? I'll look through my
13:14 pile again, but I'm pretty sure you
13:16 didn't take it." And then she emailed me
13:19 back and she confirmed. She's like, cuz
13:20 I thought maybe I lost it or something
13:22 and I was paranoid like, "Oh crap, did I
13:25 lose a student's test?" And she emailed
13:27 me back and said, "Yeah, I didn't take
13:30 the test. Is there anything I can do to
13:32 to boost my grade?" I'm like, "I
13:36 submitted final grades already, man."
13:39 But I I am way too kind. So, I emailed her.
13:40 her.
13:43 This is like Saturday at at 11:30 p.m. I
13:46 think I emailed her and said
13:48 like, "Okay, meet me in my office on
13:50 Monday because because final grades are
13:52 due Tuesday."
13:54 And she emails me back and says, "I
13:56 can't come in on Monday. It's not going
14:00 to work." And I'm like, "Okay,
14:02 meet me in my office Sunday, I guess."
14:04 And but by the way, that's like Sunday
14:05 morning I get that email. So she's like,
14:07 "So I'm telling her like, "Meet me in 3
14:10 hours in my in my office." And it's like
14:12 snowing horrible outside. Like there's
14:15 like deep snow outside. Be careful or
14:17 else you're gonna fall and eat on
14:19 the on the sidewalk.
14:21 So we get out there and I go to my
14:22 office. She comes to my office and then
14:24 she takes the test and I'm like, "Okay,
14:26 whatever." And she does well in the test
14:28 and I give her her good grade. and to
14:31 say thank you for,
14:33 you know, letting me to thank me for let
14:36 for doing this favor for her. She got me
14:39 a Starbucks card for 25 bucks, which was
14:41 awfully nice. I just wish I went to
14:43 Starbucks. I've never been to Starbucks
14:46 ever. Maybe I should go to just so that
14:49 so that maybe I'll start. Maybe maybe
14:51 they have good stuff at Starbucks. I
14:54 know they make coffee and whatnot. I
14:56 don't drink coffee if that's the reason
15:02 Um, and then that was it. That was
15:05 pretty much the end of the semester.
15:09 Paper writing and grading and helping
15:11 students out.
15:13 I had a really fun time this semester.
15:15 This is probably I usually teach this
15:18 one specific class.
15:21 Um, since joining the PhD program, they
15:22 usually give me this one class. This is
15:25 like the fourth time I've taught it. And
15:27 a lot of people, the grad students
15:28 complain about it like they don't like
15:30 the class, but I love it. I really like
15:32 the class because the students are fun.
15:34 They talk to you more. I don't like it
15:37 when the students don't talk to me.
15:39 I It's more fun to to talk with students.
15:42 students.
15:44 So, at the risk of uh rambling on for
15:46 another five minutes or so, I'll I'll
15:48 I'll tell you this. I I recently
15:51 discovered a YouTube channel called
15:53 Coding Jesus. Perhaps you've heard of him.
15:54 him.
15:57 Um, I've been binging his videos and mo
15:59 and I don't really understand any of
16:01 that computer science stuff. I wish I
16:03 did and I wish I had passion for
16:04 computer science because I think it
16:07 would be very useful for someone like me
16:09 to have. Uh, but it's just it's it was
16:12 always hard for me to get into. There's
16:13 so much lingo and you have to get
16:15 through the lingo and I never know where
16:17 to start. But whatever. So the reason
16:19 I'm watching coding Jesus is because a
16:20 lot of people will call in they have
16:22 like they're like in their fourth year
16:26 of computer science program and he asks
16:29 them like basic questions about
16:30 computers like what's the difference
16:33 between a vector and an array and a lot
16:36 of them like are they get stumped on
16:38 these basic questions. Um,
16:40 Um,
16:41 so I found it fascinating because I
16:43 think he also talks a lot about the
16:45 interview process. And the interview
16:47 process is something that I don't have
16:49 too much experience in. I've I've been
16:51 kind of lucky that well, when I say
16:53 lucky, I mean I've been in school
16:55 forever. They just kind of look and see
16:56 like, okay, this guy's a good student.
16:59 We'll we'll take him on.
17:01 Or at least that that was the experience
17:04 at my current university. So,
17:07 So,
17:10 so, so, so, so, so I I what was I
17:12 telling the story? Oh, he he was uh
17:14 interviewing a guy and sometimes they
17:17 give like test prep questions or or or
17:19 these uh a lot of people call in asking
17:21 one of like what should I do to prepare
17:22 for an interview if I want to be a
17:24 quant, which I guess is short for
17:27 quantitative analyst. Apparently, these
17:30 are like the top paying math jobs. So
17:32 naturally that's going to catch my
17:33 attention like what are the what is this
17:36 quantitative analyst type deal jobs and
17:39 can I do it and the short answer is no
17:42 maybe not right now but I mean let's not
17:45 even talk about that. So
17:48 there was one guy on the channel and he
17:50 asked him a question about it was like a
17:53 basic math problem and the problem was
17:56 this. Uh suppose you have two scenarios
17:58 to choose from and in the one scenario
18:03 you flip a coin a thousand times and if
18:05 it comes up heads you win a dollar and
18:08 if it comes up tails you lose a dollar.
18:11 And that's and then scenario two is you
18:14 flip the coin once but you if it comes
18:15 up heads you win a thousand and if it
18:18 comes up tails you lose a thousand. And
18:21 the question is is which of these two is better
18:22 better
18:25 or more desirable. And the answer is the
18:26 first one. You want to flip it a
18:29 thousand times. Um but the guy in the
18:32 interview kind of fumbled it. And but
18:35 but but but you know I was fascinated
18:36 with this problem because it's in the
18:38 world of probability theory and you know
18:40 I I I called my dad and I told him about
18:43 it and we we talked about it together
18:47 and so I took this same problem and I
18:52 went in one day to my class and there's
18:54 this one class and of my two classes the
18:55 one talks to me all the time and the
18:58 second one doesn't talk to me at all.
19:00 So, I went to the class that doesn't
19:02 talk to me at all. And right before, you
19:04 know, class started, I I looked at him
19:07 and I'm like, "Okay, guys, uh, listen to
19:08 this math problem." And I explain the
19:10 coin flip problem to and then like,
19:12 "Okay, what do you guys think?" And it's
19:13 like silence. I'm like, "Okay, think
19:15 about it for like 30 seconds while I
19:17 prepare for class and then tell me what
19:19 your think thinking is." And so I start
19:21 prepping and blah blah blah. and I do
