0:06 H well I don't feel I've got a right
0:08 when I don't like somebody or I disagree
0:09 what somebody's doing if if I should
0:11 respect them if they're above me they're
0:13 Superior to me I don't feel I've got a
0:14 right to really really tell you how mad
0:17 I am at this that's that's
0:20 garbage you're not JY JY you're getting
0:23 picked into your safe Corner that's the
0:24 way it feels that's what the safe Corner
0:26 feels like to me now go back to your
0:29 safe Corner because we have to part very
0:31 soon you stay your safe caller you came
0:35 out for a moment you nearly met me could
0:37 get a little bit angry with me now go
0:39 back to your safety I feel like you're
0:41 telling me the only way you respect me
0:43 as a human being if I'm aggressive and
0:46 forceful and strong yeah I feel like you
0:47 couldn't even accept my I'd be scared to
0:50 death to cry in front of you I feel like
0:52 you'd laugh at me and call me a phony I
0:53 feel like you don't accept my weak side
0:55 only when I'm yelling back at you or
0:57 hollering at
1:00 you you must be cry in my presence
1:02 well I wouldn't even give you the
1:08 satisfaction see this again no see this
1:11 again I try not to I try not to cry in
1:12 front of you or show my weak spot for
1:14 fear You' jump on me again are you
1:16 really that your eyes are moist I'm
1:19 aware that I feel more chokey yes I feel
1:27 me pretend but not for real why not for
1:29 me well because I don't hate you that
1:32 much no you want to choke my tears B you
1:35 want me to choke you so you wouldn't
1:38 cry I'd like to if I'd like to choke you
1:40 it would be to make you cry I'd like to
1:42 see you
1:51 vulnerable what would do this do for
1:54 you make me feel like I'm I have more of
1:56 a right to be hurt and you wouldn't jump
1:59 on me so quick would you jump on me if I
2:03 would cry no mm- but I would jump on you
2:04 if you would
2:07 cry you're sure of
2:11 this no I'm not sure of it
2:14 uhhuh what would what would you like me
2:21 cry I was you're smiling you're smiling
2:22 something off well because I got two
2:24 feelings I was going to say I want you
2:26 to I want you to love me and hug me but
2:29 then I thought no I don't want to what's
2:31 your objection I'd be scared to be too
2:32 close to
2:34 you now we're getting somewhere first
2:37 you want to be close to me now you're
2:40 afraid to be too close to me this what
2:43 I'm saying but that's right now we got
2:45 the two PS of your existence but they're
2:47 two different feelings close I mean
2:49 emotionally but not
2:51 physically but you've got the two PS of
2:56 your existence now either far away in a
3:00 corner or be so close that you get melt
3:06 person and apparently you travel between
3:15 extremes I do you know what I'm thinking
3:18 when I am really hurt and really uh
3:20 upset about something and I want someone
3:22 to love me like my girlfriend will do it
3:23 a lot and she'll come up to hug me I
3:27 don't I don't want it exactly
3:30 see that's what I'm talking about
3:38 contact okay this is
3:40 garbage but are you afraid if you were
3:42 too close to your girlfriend if you let
3:45 her hug you um the only thing I'm aware
3:47 of is like when I perspire It
3:48 embarrasses me that should feel how wet
3:51 I am and it should hold my body up close
3:54 and I don't know just are you aware of
3:56 your facial expression that kind of
3:59 disgust com me yes I am do this more please
4:00 please it's
4:01 it's
4:04 icky it's just icky I can just feel what
4:06 it is I don't like it can you say this
4:14 icky no
4:18 no what's your difficulty cuz I feel
4:19 like if you really believe me that would
4:20 hurt your
4:24 feelings oh you mustn't hurt my
4:26 feelings well I thought I was so
4:28 indifferent as you see before that no
4:30 nothing could touch
4:32 now you suddenly discovered a way to
4:35 touch me isn't
4:38 it will you know what I believe I
4:39 believe you're the type of person sort
4:41 of like me that you act like it wouldn't
4:43 hurt your feelings but it really would
4:46 you act strong but you're you're soft
4:53 too I think your feelings could be hurt
4:55 sure but I don't think you'd show it very
4:56 very
4:58 easy what would I
5:02 do how would I conceal my feelings by
5:05 turning it back on me by saying now what
5:07 did you get from that Gloria you turn
5:09 the whole thing back on me instead of
5:11 showing how hurt you were now can you
5:13 see this to Fritz how did you what did
5:16 you get out of this Fritz see this to
5:18 what you get out of what what you just
5:25 sentence sure I know what you'd get out
5:26 of it if I said what did you get out of
5:28 this FR you'd
5:30 say no nothing it didn't bother me it
5:32 was you that did it you still wouldn't
5:33 let me know you were hurt but I know
5:35 what it would be if you told your true
5:36 feelings that you didn't want to show
5:39 your hurt so you covered it up same way
5:42 with me in the corner now if I were hurt
5:48 me you would be you wouldn't be so
5:50 Superior to me you'd be more vulnerable
5:53 and I could pacify you and make you feel
5:56 better you could hug me yes and I could
5:58 be the baby
6:00 yes yes
6:02 I'd like that you'd feel more On My
6:03 Level I wouldn't have to feel so dumb
6:06 with you and the other way around you
6:08 would have to be my
6:11 baby she would cry you would like to
6:14 play the baby and be comforted and huged
6:19 and the poor thing well I like that
6:21 too but I tell you something I think we
6:24 came to a nice closure I think we came
6:26 to a little bit of
6:29 understanding I think we finish this
6:41 right uh the demonstration was in my
6:44 opinion uh quite successful and
6:46 consistent with my theoretical
6:49 Outlook the avoidance of the genuine
6:52 encounter manifested itself in three
6:58 ways the patient was first taken control
7:00 by putting on a smiling sophisticated
7:03 phony mask of oscillating between a
7:06 pretense of being frightened and yet at
7:10 the same time having me figured out thus
7:12 being or believing to be fully in
7:14 control of the situation
7:16 situation
7:18 secondly she was
7:21 withdrawing by fantasizing of hiding in a
7:23 a corner
7:25 corner
7:29 thirdly she was blocking the real
7:32 Encounter of melting through crying
7:35 which then would have been the real
7:38 emotional meaning of this
7:41 meeting the patient was capable of
7:43 identifying herself with several
7:46 fantasies she had projected onto me she
7:48 was this was especially evident with
7:50 regard to her initial denial for a need
7:52 to be
7:54 respected the need for environmental
7:57 support started to come out besides her
7:59 need to get respected
8:01 it was verbalized in a wish to be cared
8:04 for rescued from the
8:08 corner and so on I broke off the session
8:12 when the first tears begin to appear she
8:14 began to play the role of the Lonely
8:16 child and apparently wanted to be hugged
8:18 and comforted but here too the
8:20 assimilation of her projection began to
8:23 work and she began to experience holding
8:30 baby if apart
8:33 from assisting her assimilating her in
8:35 some projections the main theraputic
8:38 Factor was to show her the inconsistency
8:41 of her verbal and non-verbal behavior
8:43 for instance saying that she was
8:47 frightened and smiling at the same time
8:51 a frightened person does not
8:54 smile where I feared was in the
8:55 direction of her
8:58 embarrassment and this embarrassment was
9:02 protected by her raess and anger to get
9:04 to existence existential embarrassment
9:06 we would have to work through and
9:10 eliminate the phoniness that is the ease
9:12 with which we can superficially assume
9:15 any role that is required for a specific
9:19 situation this pseudo adaptation is her
9:23 way of coping with life this is about
