0:08 This past weekend, I went to our
0:10 nation's capital to join the celebration
0:14 of the 250th birthday of the US Army and
0:17 the 79th birthday of Donald J. Trump.
0:20 This was reportedly a $45 million event.
0:22 And there was family fun everywhere. I'm
0:25 talking cornhole howitzers, kids with
0:27 machine guns, kids with machine guns on
0:29 top of jeeps, kids with rocket
0:31 launchers, and the always popular killer
0:33 robot dogs. Thank you for your service.
0:36 We are here because we love America. We
0:39 are celebrating the 250th birthday of
0:42 the Army and it's Flag Day. It's the
0:44 president's birthday. Today is America's
0:46 Super Bowl. Wouldn't that be the Super
0:49 Bowl? What are you most excited to see?
0:51 Tanks. You're going to see all of our
0:53 tanks, our Bradley's, our artillery,
0:55 tanks, helicopters, howitzers. I
0:57 wouldn't mind seeing Don Jr. Okay. Yeah.
0:59 Have you ever been to an event like
1:03 this? Yes, but locals smaller scale
1:06 Moscow. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Not
1:07 like that. Who do you think is going to
1:09 do this parade better, us or the North
1:11 Koreans? I don't compare myself to
1:13 anybody because everybody in the world
1:15 would love to be an American at least
1:17 for a day. Looking around, I wondered,
1:19 was this a military celebration or more
1:21 of a make Donnie feel like a big boy
1:23 authoritarian leader party? You know,
1:26 one thing about Donald Trump, he's been
1:28 the greatest leader this country's ever
1:30 had. Is that why we're throwing him this
1:32 parade? It's not his parade. It's a
1:34 United States Army. I keep getting
1:36 confused. I keep I keep I I I keep
1:38 looking at these hats and I'm like I
1:39 There's an American There's a tiny
1:40 little American flag right there on the
1:42 side. Now I see. 50th anniversary. Now I
1:44 see. Makes me mad listening to the
1:46 people that are saying that this is all
1:48 about Donald Trump and his birthday. No,
1:51 it's not. I love Donald Trump, but
1:53 technically we are here to support our
1:55 military. Your focus today is just on
1:58 the military. Yes, sir. And that's why
2:00 you wore your dress blues. Well, I'm not
2:02 in camouflage to support the military.
2:04 I'm here to support Trump because it is
2:06 also his birthday. Was there some debate
2:09 about where to put the U? Uh, nope. Not
2:11 at all. Of course, parades come with a
2:13 price tag. But if there's one thing this
2:15 administration knows, it's what's useful
2:17 and what's waste. Trump has had to make
2:20 some cuts. Had to make some really tough
2:22 decisions. I know Doge cut back on the
2:24 Department of Education.
2:26 Cut back. Well done. Well done. The EPA.
2:28 Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. There's some
2:31 tough cuts. Cancer research. Cut it.
2:32 Let's go back to all natural. You don't
2:33 need to be researching out cancer. We
2:35 basically have that fixed anyway.
2:37 Alzheimer's research, why not? Why not
2:40 cut the Alzheimer's research? What?
2:42 That's We're just cool with that. I'm
2:43 cool with that. Are you excited about
2:46 all these Doge cuts? Yes, I am. Cuz the
2:47 government sp is stealing too much of
2:48 their money and they wasted too much of
2:50 my day on tax dollars. Oh my god.
2:52 Government waste so much money. Yes. Oh
2:54 my god. It's It's insane what they spend
2:57 money on. Just foolishness. Well, enjoy
2:59 the $45 million parade at all the tanks.
3:01 Yeah. That's a good use of your tax
3:02 dollar. I think it's important for
3:05 America to flex their muscles so people
3:08 people know that America is generous.
3:10 America is nice. America is polite. But
3:12 America can really become badass. Now,
3:14 just brainstorming here. If we want to
3:15 show the world that we're generous and
3:16 nice, wouldn't it help to do like
3:18 generous and nice things for the world?
3:20 We are already doing it. USAD more
3:22 generous and nice. We that we let people
3:25 to take advantage of us left and right.
3:26 We're so we're showing them that we're
3:28 kind by taking it away so they see how
3:30 kind we are. Absolutely. Absolutely.
3:32 Okay, I get it. Tanks are fun and our
3:34 military men and women should be
3:36 honored. But it was hard to celebrate
3:38 this public show of force when the
3:40 president put the military on the
3:42 streets of LA to confront other
3:44 Americans. How do you think we're going
3:45 to need our military? What is the
3:47 biggest threat? To be honest with you, I
3:50 see a global change right now. And if
3:52 America doesn't want to support America,
3:54 America won't be America very long. Get
3:56 on get on board. You're an American,
3:58 right? I um Which one of these tanks do
4:00 you think we should send to Los Angeles?
4:03 I think we should send all of them.
4:04 Which weapon should we send over to Los
4:07 Angeles? Oh, them clowns.
4:10 I always say Trump need to just give him
4:12 some uh some stuff to make him go to
4:13 sleep and then just handcuff him
4:16 afterwards. Okay. Rofy and then and then
4:17 car all him to jail. Is that a Pete
4:20 Hegsath plan? I don't know. But that's
4:22 my plan. Trump, if you're listening,
4:24 that's what you do. You should roofy the
4:26 Democrats. Put them all to sleep with
4:28 some sleep and stuff and then and then
4:29 lock them up. But like you said, today
4:31 isn't about that. It's about America.
4:32 America. Yeah. But at the end of the
4:35 day, Trump's parade was kind of a dud.
4:37 It didn't have the cold, intimidating
4:39 scope of other authoritarian displays.
4:42 All we had was guys holding drones like
4:44 pizzas and killer robot dogs who just
4:47 wanted treats. I got a got a sativa
4:49 gummy in here somewhere. See you at
