0:02 Ned Stark never revealed the truth about
0:04 Jon Snow's parentage to kathyn whom he
0:07 loved trusted deeply and had five
0:11 children with why why not tell her hi
0:13 everyone this is Robert welcome to inep
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0:33 Ed early in a Game of Thrones kathyn
0:36 thinks regarding John Ned would not
0:39 speak of the mother not so much as a
0:41 word when she confronted Ned she
0:44 remembers it being the only time he ever
0:47 frightened her he told her never asked
0:50 me about John that here is my blood that
0:52 is all you need to know and then he
0:54 demanded to know where she had heard the
0:57 name as Shara Dan the rumors about who
1:00 might be Jon's mother stopped after that
1:02 but cat clearly didn't stop thinking
1:05 about it years later in a Game of
1:07 Thrones there she is still thinking
1:09 about it she clearly believes what Ned
1:11 has publicly said that Jon is his
1:13 bastard son with a mother he does not
1:16 wish to name perhaps aaran or perhaps
1:18 someone else plenty of times in the
1:20 chapters that follow she thinks of her
1:23 own children with Ned and John and it's
1:25 always clear she sees Jon with some
1:28 bitterness as Ned's bastard nothing more
1:30 when Rob argues with with her about who
1:32 he should name as his Heir Catelyn is
1:35 bitterly against Jon as the choice even
1:37 going as far as suggesting instead some
1:39 distant cousins whose names she can't
1:42 even remember if she had known Jon's
1:44 true parentage then long after Ned's
1:47 death and Lanas and Roberts and with the
1:50 country in Civil War surely then she at
1:51 least would have thought about it rather
1:53 than trying to convince Rob what a
1:55 terrible idea it was to legitimize his
1:58 bastard half brother but it doesn't even
2:01 cross her mind in summary it is beyond
2:03 all reasonable doubt that catlyn never
2:05 knew the truth about Jon's parents nor
2:07 does she even suspect it she doesn't
2:10 ever connect lyanna and JN in her mind
2:13 Ned never told her and this was a
2:15 problem in her marriage with Ned
2:17 repeatedly causing friction between them
2:20 she tried to get Jon sent away get him
2:22 excluded from family events and so on
2:24 but Ned stood firm in insisting that Jon
2:26 would be brought up within that family
2:29 unit as a result she often took out her
2:32 frust ations on John she was pretty
2:34 horrible to him to be truthful and Ned
2:37 can't have been blind to it all so why
2:40 not just tell her I think the answer at
2:41 the beginning of their marriage is quite
2:44 clear he didn't know if he could trust
2:47 her because he simply didn't know her
2:49 cat had been engaged to Ned's older
2:51 brother Brandon and only married Ned at
2:52 very short notice as a matter of
2:55 political expediency the Allies in
2:56 Robert's Rebellion needed to tie
2:58 themselves together more formally and
3:01 with Brandon's death Ned was next in
3:04 line he spent just two weeks with her
3:06 during which Rob was conceived and then
3:08 went off to war only seeing her again
3:10 back in Winterfell when he had returned
3:13 with baby John and her with Rob telling
3:16 her then would be risky might she tell
3:18 someone else he didn't know the risk
3:21 surely outweighed any possible benefits
3:23 yes she would receive the comfort of
3:25 knowing her husband remained true to her
3:27 and their marriage would start off on a
3:29 stronger footing but other problems
3:30 would remain
3:32 if the rest of the world still thought
3:34 that Jon is Ned's bastard as per the
3:36 cover story The Shame and issues of
3:39 inheritance wouldn't go away especially
3:41 if Jon himself grew up believing himself
3:45 to be Ned's son to go that far would
3:47 mean telling a lot more people and that
3:49 was clearly out of the question so not
3:52 straight away but why not when he had
3:54 got to know her a bit better and they
3:56 had actually fallen in love why not then
3:59 he did seem to trust her there's no
4:01 indication any of her chapters or his
4:03 that they had trust issues or that he
4:05 kept any other secrets from her in fact
4:08 they had an extremely close relationship
4:10 I suspect that some of the answer lies
4:13 in Ned simply not wanting to think about
4:16 that part of his life ever we obviously
4:18 don't get a medical diagnosis here but
4:20 Ned displays a lot of symptoms of
4:22 something like post-traumatic stress
4:24 about all that happened when cat asks
4:26 him about it he gets angry and defensive
4:29 and shuts down all talk about it for
4:31 years later he he gets nightmares about
4:32 the events of the Tower of Joy he has
4:35 deep regrets about promises he hasn't
4:37 kept he really really doesn't want to
4:39 head south again to places and people
4:42 that might trigger memories he's clearly
4:44 in deep deep pain about the things that
4:47 happened and his coping mechanism is
4:49 simply to not talk or think about it
4:52 ever he didn't tell Cat because he
4:54 wanted to put the tragedies of that part
4:58 of his life behind him but perhaps also
5:00 Ned saw the resentment had for John as
5:03 part of the disguise if Catelyn knew or
5:06 found out that Jon wasn't Ned's son she
5:08 might have even been kind to him after
5:10 years of the opposite and that would
5:12 raise questions especially if the change
5:14 was sudden people might have noticed if
5:17 cathlyn spent years being called to JN
5:20 only to warm up Suddenly furthermore if
5:23 cat believes Ned is Jon's father lyanna
5:25 is the last person she'd ever think of
5:26 as the mother and that's a very
5:30 important Point questions about lyanna
5:32 would very quickly lead to rhaegar given
5:34 that their Saga whether elopment or
5:37 abduction was very public everyone knows
5:38 he gave her the blue rose Laurel and
5:40 named her the queen of love and beauty
5:42 in front of his own wife Elia Robert and
5:45 the Starks Ned wouldn't have wanted to
5:48 risk those questions but let's just
5:50 pause for a moment and clarify exactly
5:52 what the danger is here if Robert
5:54 Baratheon discovers that John is the son
5:57 of rhaegar the man he still hates with a
5:59 passion and lyanna the woman he believes
6:01 believes rhaegar stole from him what
6:04 would he do a decade and a half after
6:07 the Rebellion the subject of targaryan
6:09 remains a sore one for Robert enough to
6:11 cause him to lose his temper and worse
6:13 we all saw him order the death of
6:15 Daenerys by assassin simply because she
6:19 was a Targaryen and Pregnant Ned was so
6:21 disgusted then that he called it
6:23 cowardly to Robert's face and then
6:25 resigned his position as hand of the
6:28 King on the spot on reflection that's a
6:31 very strong reaction from NED more than
6:32 you might expect if it were just moral
6:35 care for someone he doesn't know it's a
6:37 sore spot for Ned with Robert from their
6:39 past the idea of killing innocent
6:42 targaryan children has come up before
6:44 just after the sack of King's Landing
6:46 they publicly argued over rhaegar's dead
6:50 children Reise and agon not long after
6:52 Ned went to the Tower of joy and found
6:55 that rhaegar had another child if Robert
6:57 was willing to kill Dany and her child
6:59 and turn a blind eye to rhaegar's first
7:01 two children's murders wouldn't he have
7:03 been willing to kill rhaegar's other boy
7:05 as well even 15 years
7:09 later maybe not but what a chance to
7:11 take concern for Jon's life in light of
7:14 Robert's history with targaryens appears
7:16 Justified furthermore it's not just
7:18 about to the danger from Robert even if
7:20 he turned out unwilling to kill baby JN
7:23 or even grown up JN there's a risk
7:25 Robert would turn a blind eye if say
7:27 tyan Lannister or someone of his ilk did
7:29 it for him so the risk of revealing
7:32 Jon's identity was too great it would
7:34 very likely lead to his death and very
7:36 probably after that if Ned tried to
7:39 intervene Civil War Ned would never have
7:42 given up Jon to be executed just as the
7:44 man Jon Snow was named after John Aaron
7:46 refused to give Ned and Robert up to
7:48 King Aris for execution at the outbreak
7:51 of the rebellion and if it came to war
7:53 it wouldn't just be Jon's life at risk
7:55 it would be Ned's entire family Ned had
7:58 seen Civil War before and it had cost
8:00 him the lives of his brother father and
8:03 sister never again not to mention others
8:05 might seek to use Jon's claim through
8:07 rhaegar for their own ends for the
8:09 perfect example we need look no further
8:12 than aegon AKA young Griff or fagon
8:14 purported to be rhaegar's son and the
8:17 way varis and alyia were using him isn't
8:19 Ned a stickler for the truth though
8:20 wasn't he willing to see the realm tear
8:23 itself apart over Joffrey's inheritance
8:25 why lie about Jon Snow to prevent War
8:28 but not Joffrey well let's compare from
8:29 any angle
8:32 Ned is a tragic figure not only did he
8:34 watch his sister die he had to do the
8:37 same with his best friend he couldn't
8:39 help but be reminded he thought at the
8:43 time that Robert died that was his curse
8:44 Robert would swear undying love and
8:47 forget them before evenfall but Ned
8:50 Stark kept his vows he thought of the
8:52 promises he'd made Lanna as she Lay
8:55 Dying and the price he'd paid to keep
8:58 them furthermore when Ned kept the truth
9:00 from Robert about Joffrey Mel and
9:03 tommen's true parentage he hated the LIE
9:06 it tore at him and shamed him deeply but
9:07 then he didn't make a promise to someone
9:10 on their deathbed well technically he
9:13 did Robert did ask Ned to promise him to
9:15 serve the boore that killed him at his
9:17 funeral Feast the point is he didn't
9:19 make a promise about keeping Joffrey
9:21 safe or keeping secret the lies about
9:24 his parentage yet even when making the
9:26 relatively mundane promise about the
9:28 boore Ned still thought of his promise
9:30 to lyanna
9:32 in that moment Robert also repented of
9:34 his command to assassinate the pregnant
9:37 Daenerys Targaryen dait might have felt
9:39 like Robert was also repenting of a
9:42 murderous intent for Jon Snow as well
9:44 had Ned not kept the secret so well a
9:47 secret attached to a promise Ned never
9:49 did get the chance to serve the boore at
9:51 Robert's funeral Feast he was imprisoned
9:54 and executed first so I think we can
9:57 forgive him with lyanna he had in half a
9:59 lifetime multiple chances to break his
10:03 promise and he never did just as Ned
10:05 never told catlyn about John Ned never
10:07 told Robert the truth about Cersei and
10:10 jimie either so even if Ned is honest to
10:13 a fault he is certainly willing to lie
10:15 in extreme circumstances such as to
10:17 protect his family he refused to
10:20 acknowledge Joffrey as king until Sansa
10:22 was threatened for example for Ned
10:26 family always seems to come first but
10:27 that quote from when Ned was at Robert's
10:29 deathbed reveals an important truth I
10:32 suspect lying is one thing to Ned
10:34 necessary sometimes to help his family
10:37 but breaking a promise is entirely
10:39 different he thinks how keeping his
10:43 promise cost him dearly which of course
10:45 brings us to lyanna's dying wish on her
10:49 deathbed lyanna begged him promise me
10:51 Ned it is one of the most powerful lines
10:53 in all the books in part because of the
10:55 mystery surrounding exactly what that
10:59 promise was or promises were but also
11:01 because of how Earnest her pleas were
11:03 and how sincere his promise was he
11:06 thinks about it all the time six times
11:08 the phrase promise me Ned appears in the
11:10 few chapters we have from Ned's POV as
11:13 he remembers it it seems likely the
11:15 promise has something if not everything
11:18 to do with Jon and keeping him alive
11:21 since Jon's identity is Paramount to his
11:23 safety it follows that the promise would
11:25 include keeping it a secret but
11:27 ultimately we don't have to know the
11:29 exact wording of the promise to know Ned
11:31 took it to heart we need a compelling
11:34 reason for Ned to deny his trusted and
11:37 beloved wife Catelyn the truth and this
11:39 does rise to that level a promise made
11:42 to his sister on her deathbed that if
11:44 the secret got out could cost the lives
11:47 of his entire family to a man of honor
11:49 and a man who loves his family more than
11:51 anything it is difficult to think of
11:55 something more binding Lord edart was a
11:57 good man and a stubborn one if he
11:59 promised lyanna he wouldn't take tell
12:01 anyone who Jon's parents were he would
12:04 keep that promise without exception if
12:07 she said promise me you'll never tell
12:11 that means no one she probably didn't
12:12 ask Ned for example to promise not to
12:15 tell anyone except your wife or except
12:17 for those who trust the most she likely
12:20 wanted absolute assurance that Jon's
12:22 identity would stay hidden because she
12:24 was dying and she wanted to know that
12:26 her child would be protected it was all
12:28 that mattered to her a new mother
12:30 knowing she wouldn't be there for her
12:32 child a child in great danger given who
12:35 his parents were and knowing he's an
12:38 orphan Ned remembers how scared she had
12:40 been and how his promise to her had set
12:41 that at
12:44 rest we read that but when he gave her
12:47 his word the fear had gone out of his
12:49 sister's eyes Ned remembered the way she
12:52 had smiled then how tightly her fingers
12:54 had clutched his as she gave up her hold
12:56 on life the rose petals spilling from
13:00 her Palm dead and black
13:02 why because she knew what Robert would
13:05 do if he found out but against that fear
13:08 she knew as well that Ned would keep his
13:11 promise she knew her brother well though
13:13 so much remains mysterious about all of
13:16 this lyanna rhaegar ashara the Tower of
13:18 Joy the exact promises he made and more
13:21 we do know this lyanna trusted
13:24 absolutely that Ned would keep his word
13:26 no matter the cost to him or his
13:28 marriage or his reputation and she was
13:31 right the reason Ned didn't tell Cat
13:33 about John was not because he didn't
13:35 trust her or had done a complex risk
13:37 assessment about who he should tell and
13:39 who he shouldn't he didn't tell her
13:42 because he had promised to tell no one
13:45 and to Ned tragic flawed but wonderful
13:48 Ned that meant that he would tell no one
13:51 ever it is as simple as
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