0:17 you know there's something about late
0:20 nights when the world feels quiet when
0:21 everyone else is
0:24 asleep and it's just you and your
0:27 thoughts the soft hum of the fridge the
0:30 occasional sound of a car driving by and
0:32 the gentle light from a
0:35 lamp in those moments your mind starts
0:39 to wander and questions come up why
0:43 can't I just commit to this am I always
0:44 going to feel this
0:47 scared what if I make the wrong choice
0:50 these questions don't shout or demand
0:53 attention they come in softly sneaking
0:56 into the quiet waiting for you to notice
0:59 them and sometimes they can feel overwhelming
1:01 overwhelming
1:03 if you've ever felt this way I want to
1:05 remind you that being scared of
1:09 commitment is more common than you think
1:11 it doesn't make you weak or bad it just
1:13 shows that whatever you're thinking
1:16 about matters to you deep down you want
1:19 to do things right and that's why the
1:22 fear is there it's just part of Being
1:27 Human today let's talk about this fear
1:30 together not as something to fix or get
1:34 rid of but as something to understand
1:36 we'll take our time look at it closely
1:38 and see where it comes
1:41 from step by step we'll try to make
1:44 sense of it think of this like walking
1:47 through a garden some parts are
1:49 beautiful and bright While others feel
1:52 dark or messy but each part has
1:55 something to teach us so instead of
1:57 rushing we'll go
2:00 slowly because sometimes the best way to
2:03 deal with fear isn't to fight
2:07 it it's to listen to it understand why
2:10 it's there and gently Let It Go when
2:14 we're ready so take a deep breath let's
2:16 start this journey together one step at a
2:27 time when I was younger I thought
2:29 commitment was simple you make a
2:32 decision ision stick to it and that's it
2:36 but As I Grew Older I realized life is
2:37 messier than
2:40 that decisions are bigger and sometimes
2:43 they carry more weight than we
2:46 expect I have a friend Emily who used to
2:48 joke about how she couldn't even commit
2:50 to a brand of
2:53 toothpaste she'd laugh and say if I
2:55 can't choose between mint or
2:58 charcoal how am I supposed to choose a
3:01 career or a partner
3:03 we laughed but there was truth in what
3:06 she said the fear of commitment isn't
3:08 about being lazy or indecisive it's
3:10 about caring
3:12 deeply it's about taking the time to
3:15 think things through because we want to
3:16 make the right
3:19 choice the book The Paradox of choice
3:22 says that thinking before making a
3:26 decision helps you feel more satisfied
3:29 later so if you're hesitating it's not a
3:31 sign of failure it means you're giving
3:34 this the attention it deserves and that's
3:35 that's [Music]
3:44 [Music]
3:47 okay let's dig a Little Deeper why does
3:48 this fear
3:51 exist understanding the root of it
3:53 doesn't solve everything but it gives us
3:56 Clarity which is a starting point
4:00 firstly it's the fear of losing freedom
4:03 when I was 10 years old I got my first
4:06 bicycle riding it felt like flying like
4:07 I could go
4:10 anywhere as I got older wanting Freedom
4:13 started to conflict with the idea of
4:15 committing choosing one thing felt like
4:18 giving up a hundred other
4:21 possibilities a friend of mine Jake
4:24 explained it perfectly if I take this
4:27 job he said I'm scared I'll lose my
4:30 weekends if I get into a relation ship
4:32 I'm afraid I'll lose
4:35 myself the fear of commitment often
4:38 comes from the belief that we're trading
4:39 freedom for
4:41 security but what if commitment isn't
4:44 about giving something up what if it's
4:47 about gaining something new such an an
4:49 opportunity to create something
4:50 important and
4:53 Lasting the fear of not being good
4:55 enough is also taken into account this one's
4:56 one's
4:58 personal I used to be terrified of
5:01 starting anything knew whether it was a
5:04 hobby a relationship or even this
5:06 podcast that is because I was afraid of
5:08 failing I'd ask
5:11 myself why would anyone care what I have
5:15 to say but then I came across a quote by brenee
5:16 brenee
5:19 Brown vulnerability sounds like truth
5:21 and feels like
5:24 courage it hit me I wasn't afraid of
5:28 failing I was afraid of being seen as
5:31 imperfect if you've ever Felt This Way
5:34 remember commitment isn't about being
5:38 perfect it's about showing up trying and
5:39 learning as you
5:42 go sometimes commitment feels scary
5:44 because of something that happened
5:48 before maybe you've been hurt a breakup
5:50 a project that failed or a friendship that
5:51 that
5:55 ended those memories can leave a mark
5:57 but here's what I want you to know your
6:01 past doesn't Define your future
6:03 every experience whether good or bad has
6:06 taught you something you've grown from
6:17 hurt commitment can feel like a huge
6:20 mountain to climb but what if we start
6:23 with just one small step instead of
6:26 focusing on the big picture we can
6:28 practice with little promises little
6:30 actions and little
6:34 wins these small steps build trust not
6:36 only with others but more importantly with
6:38 with
6:40 ourselves here are a few ideas for you
6:44 to keep small steps the first thing is
6:45 keeping a promise to
6:48 yourself have you ever made a promise to
6:51 yourself and then brushed it off like
6:53 telling yourself you'd go for a walk but
6:55 then the couch seemed more
6:57 inviting keeping a small promise to
7:00 yourself can be a GameChanger for
7:03 example drink water first thing in the
7:06 morning it's simple but it sets the tone
7:07 for the
7:10 day you're telling yourself I care about
7:13 my health and I'm following
7:15 through or you can write in a journal
7:18 for 5 minutes a day you don't need to
7:19 write anything
7:22 deep even a sentence or two about how
7:23 you feel is
7:26 enough the second thing I recommend here
7:28 is following through on a small task
7:30 sometimes the fear of commitment comes
7:32 from a fear of
7:35 failure whether it's folding laundry or
7:36 tidying up your
7:39 desk just start with something small something
7:40 something
7:43 achievable finishing a task gives you a
7:44 sense of
7:47 accomplishment these small actions show
7:49 you that you can commit even if it's
7:53 just to Tiny things and over time those
8:05 have you ever noticed how easy it is to
8:09 stay in your comfort zone it feels safe and
8:10 and
8:13 familiar but have you also noticed how
8:16 deep down a small voice sometimes
8:19 Whispers what if you tried something
8:21 different that voice isn't there to
8:24 upset you it's guiding you toward
8:27 growth saying yes to something new
8:29 doesn't mean ignoring what you know or
8:31 committing to something forever it's
8:34 simply an invitation to
8:36 explore to open a door you might not
8:39 have considered and Peak inside imagine
8:41 walking into a space where you don't
8:43 need to be perfect or know
8:47 everything a yoga studio an art class or
8:49 a cozy kitchen for a beginner's cooking
8:52 lesson what if you let yourself be a
8:55 beginner just for a little while have
8:58 you thought about joining a social group
9:00 walking into a room full of strangers
9:03 can be intimidating I know but it can
9:05 also be one of the most rewarding things
9:08 you do a listener with the first letter
9:12 named M once shared her story with me
9:14 she was new to her City and felt
9:17 disconnected she decided to join a local
9:20 hiking group even though she wasn't sure
9:23 if it was her thing the first Meetup was
9:24 awkward she didn't know
9:28 anyone and the trail was harder than she
9:31 expected but but as the weeks went by
9:34 those strangers became friends the group
9:36 wasn't just about hiking anymore it
9:40 became a place where she felt seen and
9:42 supported you don't have to find your
9:45 people right away just enjoy the act of
9:47 stepping into a space where connection
9:59 [Music]
10:01 one of the reasons we're becoming more
10:04 afraid of commitment is because of
10:06 vulnerability especially in
10:09 relationships for a long time I thought
10:11 being vulnerable was something to
10:14 avoid I worried that showing my fears or
10:17 doubts would make people see me as weak
10:20 or even push them away but over time I
10:22 realized something important
10:25 vulnerability isn't a weakness it's what
10:28 connects us when you let someone see the
10:31 real you you your hopes fears and even
10:34 the messy Parts it opens the door to
10:37 something honest this isn't just about
10:39 love though it matters there too in
10:42 relationships being vulnerable doesn't
10:43 scare the right people
10:47 away it draws them closer the key is
10:51 here then be strong and talk directly to
10:53 the people around you too it will help
11:09 when you're walking on a path sometimes
11:12 you trip over a rock it hurts but it
11:14 also teaches you to watch your step next
11:17 time you don't stop walking you just
11:20 move forward more carefully the same is
11:21 true with
11:24 commitment it's okay to feel cautious
11:26 it's okay to take your time but don't
11:30 let past pain stop you from moving
11:33 forward you've learned so much and
11:35 you're ready for the next step only when
11:38 you take action yourself can the pain
11:41 and fear of commitment heal quickly the
11:43 people around you are definitely
11:45 important in this journey but you are
11:47 the one who decides
11:50 everything so now decide are you still a
