foreign
this is a topic that I have a lot of
experience with we're talking about none
other than procrastination the reason
why you struggle with procrastination is
because you're thinking about
procrastination wrong how am I feeling
right now what is truly stressing me out
if you want to stop procrastinating you
have to understand it you have to
understand why you do it and you have to
understand the deeper issue that
triggers you to procrastinate and that's
why we're not going to procrastinate on
the topic any longer you and I are
hey it's your friend Mel and welcome to
what I predict will be one of the most
popular episodes that we do this year on
the Mel Robbins podcast so let's do this
thing welcome I'm so excited that you're
here today I'm Mel Robbins I'm a New
York Times best-selling author and one
of the most respected experts in the
world on change and motivation and today
we are talking about an awesome topic
we're talking about none other than
procrastination why do I want to talk
about procrastination with you today
well because this is a topic that I have
a lot of experience with I used to
struggle with procrastination profoundly
I still do some days and every single
time I talk about the topic of
procrastination the research the science
on social media you guys go crazy I mean
the stuff goes viral and even when I'm
working with Major Brands like Starbucks
or Microsoft or just last week I was in
San Diego speaking at this secret event
for a company that is in the human
genome sequencing space I mean really
cool stuff at some point everybody has a
question about procrastination or is
struggling with it and seeking tools
that they they can use to stop
procrastinating and be more effective
and more focused and honestly this is
such a big topic an important one I'm
kind of surprised that you and I haven't
talked about it yet I have the five
second rule book uh right here on my lap
because I even wrote and researched an
entire chapter about procrastination for
this book so
so
I love teaching this topic you're going
to love what you're about to learn
because everybody struggles with procrastination
procrastination
I've already admitted I'm a former
chronic procrastinator you've heard all
about the all-nighters I've pulled in
college I want you to know you are not
alone and I want to say right up front
the reason why you struggle with
procrastination is because you're
thinking about procrastination wrong
I used to do the same thing
and so today you're going to stop
beating yourself up and you and I are
going to get to the root of what's truly
going on when you struggle with
procrastination and by the end of the
episode instead of saying to yourself
why can't I just make my nails do this
you're going to change the question
because you're no longer going to think
there's something wrong with you why
can't I just get this done
you'll be asking yourself the questions
that based on Research
these are the questions that you should
be asking yourself when you're
procrastinating which is how am I
feeling right now
what is truly stressing me out
if you want to stop procrastinating you
have to understand it you have to
understand why you do it and you have to
understand the deeper issue that
triggers you to procrastinate and that's
why we're not going to procrastinate on
the topic any longer you and I are
talking about this sucker today and I
have this incredible question that I
want to share with you from a listener
named vidi and I'm going to play it for
you in just a minute but before I do I
want to give you four takeaways
immediately because I want you to start
changing how you think about
procrastination immediately so rule
number one stop labeling yourself a procrastinator
procrastinator
you are not a procrastinator you have a
habit of procrastinating
big difference
when you call yourself a procrastinator
like I used to it becomes part of your identity
identity
and procrastination is not a personality
trait procrastination is a broken
pattern of behavior that you need to
understand and then you need to fix it
and replace it with something better
and you may be the kind of person right
now where procrastination is chronic in
your life that's okay
that just tells me that the stress in
your life is also chronic and so today
whether you're just kind of
procrastinating on little things or
you're so stressed out because you're
constantly procrastinate on the big
things you are going to get simple tools
to change us and you're also going to
take your power back and that brings me
to takeaway number two there are two
kinds of procrastination there is
destructive procrastination which is
what we're going to focus on and there's
productive procrastination and when I
learned about productive procrastination
when I was researching the five second
rule book I was relieved because
it's helpful when you consciously choose
to take a break from something in order
to clear your mind like for example if
you're working on a really hard project
and you decide to go outside and get
some fresh air and take a walk and uh
relieve the stress that you're feeling
before you come back that kind of
avoidance or delay is conscious and it's productive
productive
but we're going to focus on the
destructive procrastination okay and
that's the kind of procrastination that
you might not even realize the extent to
which you're doing it it could be micro
procrastinations that you're engaging in
all day like the fact of that you waste
hours on social media probably every
single day and by the end of the week
you're shocked to learn how all those
tiny little micro delays added up to a
whole lot of wasted time or whether the
kind of destructive procrastination that
you do is pretty major
you know when you're actively avoiding
something big like your dissertation
that you need to finish or the
application that you need to fill out or
posting videos on your YouTube channel
or making sales calls or in the case of
the listener that you're about to meet
who is an artist
procrastination is eating her alive
because every single time she sits down
as an illustrator in the morning to work
on her portfolio
she can't do it
just listen to vidi talk about how this happens
happens
hey Mel first of all thank you so much
for selecting my question I was beyond
happy to see your mail so my name is
vidhi I am an illustrator by profession
and I absolutely love drawing but what's
been happening for quite a long time now
is more than enjoying the process I am
worried about not being able to do a
good job with it before I even start I
am worried about the end product every
morning I cannot wait to sit on the desk
and start drawing but the moment I get
in that chair and I have to start
drawing oh my God Mel the level of
anxiety and doubt and fear it's like I
bury myself deep with all the excuses
one can find in the world and by the end
of it I am so exhausted and tired with
all the negative self-talk I have
absolutely zero energy left to do
anything I just want to get in bed and
never get out
ah I just love her viddy thank you for
that I just want to reach my arms out I
don't know if you can feel this video
but I am sending you we are all sending
you this big virtual hug that is so
frustrating and I can relate to that
can't you relate it's almost like
anguish in your voice
when you're in a situation where there
is something in your heart
that you know you need to do or like
vidi this is a calling she's an artist
an illustrator you can tell how deeply
she cares about this how much she wants
to do this and you may feel that way
about the business that you're running
or the program that you want to apply to
you know I feel this way about something
that I need to do it's not a calling
it's something I need to do and that is
I have got to book an appointment
to go see a doctor about my hormones and
I was sitting there this morning I've
been thinking about this for a long time
and as I'm sitting here talking to you
my pants are so tight I I'm looking at
this kind of Hump in the center of my
pants and half the time my my zipper I
notice is kind of dropping down about a
third of the way I call this hump my
bread basket and I hate it and I I think
about it every day I think about it
every day because when I pull on my
pants and I have to zip my pants up I
have to like stick my rear end backwards
and sort of suck in to get the zipper of
my normal pants up over the Bread Basket
that I have developed and you know I'm
54. I'm going through some hormonal
changes and what I'm realizing and I'll
unpack this as we talk about the
research-backed ways to deal with with
procrastination is I'm really tricky by this
this
I'm really triggered by this because
it's a reminder that I'm getting older
it makes me feel like I'm not in control
of my health or my body
and the other thing that's adding a lot
more stress to this topic because you
know let's face it it sounds kind of
stupid and simple call the doctor like
how hard is that why are you
procrastinating on that well believe it
or not one of the major things based on
Research that you and I procrastinate on
making medical appointments getting
medical tests done
so you know on top of this I keep
thinking about the fact and a lot of you
know this that I'm doing this mental
discipline challenge for 75 days called
75 hard which I talked all about on that
episode five essential hacks I'm using
to make habit stick so I need to put
this in context for you because the last
30 days I haven't been drinking alcohol
I'm exercising twice a day I am drinking
more water than ever I am healthier than
ever and I would think that I would feel
really good in my body and I know some
of you look at me and you're like Mal
Khan like you're my body goals like stop
bitching about your body but the truth is
is
um this isn't about what I look like
this is what I feel like in my body and
I know it's confronting me because I'm
getting older and the [ __ ] that I've
been doing my whole life to stay healthy
and vibrant and feeling good in my body
it's not working
clearly it's not working because I'm
getting that thickening in the middle
and as I talk to my girlfriends about
this you know what they say they say uh
yeah like that I went to my doctor too
Mel and you know what they told me yeah
just stay active you'll probably gain
five to ten pounds and then it'll
probably come off when you're 60. talk
about triggering so I relate to this because
because
it's something I'm thinking about
it's something that's on my mind and I
bet you've got something like that too
and so before we keep going
I want you
to think of something in your life
something like vidi's describing maybe
you got to sit down every morning and
you're trying to inch forward on some
project and you just can't get yourself
to do it or like me you're
procrastinating on making a medical
appointment or maybe it's the sales
calls and I'm I'm telling you this
because I want you to not just listen
I want you to apply this in real time to
what you're dealing with because there's
a lot more going on when you're procrastinating
procrastinating
then you realize
and that brings me
to this question
and um you know I realize that by
confessing this to you you're probably thinking
thinking
how could you possibly be teaching me
about procrastination if you are
engaging NFL and you're confessing this
to you well I once heard somebody say
that you're best equipped to help
somebody that you used to be and I used
to be a chronic procrastinator and I now
know what you're about to learn and so I
can spot this stuff immediately and it's
also why I know that there's a whole lot
more going on as to why I've avoided
calling the doctor to date
than uh just calling the doctor
I hate getting older I hate feeling like
I'm not in control and we're going to
unpack all of this which brings me to
the third takeaway about procrastination
and that is you can learn how to stop
procrastinating and I want to say this
very loud and clear to vidi and to you
you're capable of this you don't lack
willpower you're not lazy you're not
stupid there's nothing wrong with you
can we be honest as friends you can fill
out the financial aid forms you can
train for a marathon you can repair your
marriage and get to therapy you can get
to the doctor and you know what else you
can do you can stop beating yourself up
about this and you can stop making
yourself wrong because right now you're
about to learn something you're stuck in
what researchers call a procrastination
cycle this is this vicious cycle because
you don't understand procrastination
neither did I that's why my chronic
procrastination spun out of control
until I learned everything that I'm
about to teach you and that brings me to
the fourth takeaway
every single time you're procrastinating
it's being triggered by stress
see that's the crazy thing about
procrastination it has nothing to do
with what you need to do
procrastination defined in the
dictionary is avoiding or putting
something off delaying it but when you
look at the research and we're going to
dig into that in a minute the way that
researchers Define procrastination is
that you are avoiding stress
that's what you're avoiding you're not
avoiding the application you're not
avoiding the illustration
you blow off things that take brain
power because you are trying to avoid
stress procrastination is the attempt to
feel better in this moment
and strangely what you're about to learn
is that when I walk you through this
three-step research-backed technique
that you're going to use every single
time that you catch yourself
procrastinating is that procrastination
is triggered by stress that's what it's about
about
I'm going to say that again
procrastination is a habit that you have learned
learned
and that you repeat whenever you feel
stressed and this comes from research
from Dr Timothy pikel at Carleton
University his definition of
procrastination is this a subconscious
desire to feel good right now
and he shares that procrastination it's
just all about stress and I'm going to
unpack this for you because when you
first hear that
wait procrastination is a subconscious
desire to feel good right now how the
heck does that make sense I mean vidi
really wants to draw Mel
so wouldn't it make sense that she'd
feel good if she were drawing sort of
sort of
and I'm going to explain this it makes
sense intellectually but when I unpack
how stress is triggering you to stop
doing something that you care about or
that you need to do this is all going to
be like holy cow why didn't I hear this sooner
sooner
so I'm going to give you an example
but I want you to understand that that
stress that is triggering you to
procrastinate it could be something
going on in your life right now or it
could be deep seated stress like
childhood trauma it could be anxiety or
depression or something in your past
that you haven't dealt with a situation
that you're worried about that's
completely unrelated to work or to the
things that you need to do it might just
be the Relentless pressure and stress
that you feel because you are so hard on
yourself I mean you haven't even met
vidi and you can hear in her voice
the woman beats herself up all day long
talk about stressful
and that's why I'm so excited to be able
to teach this to you today it's why I
love this topic so much because when we
talk about procrastination
we're not talking about getting [ __ ]
done you're going to get [ __ ] done as a
byproduct but when you truly understand
the research and the topic of procrastination
procrastination
it's about self-awareness Stress
Management and being effective and
productive on the things that matter to
you it's about feeling a sense of
control and agency in your life
so let's really unpack what it means
when I say that your habit of procrastinating
procrastinating
is triggered by the stress in your life
stop and think for a minute what is
stressing you out right now and I just
kind of talked about the Bread Basket
getting older that kind of stuff but let
me stop and think oh I'm stressing about
the fact that my parents are getting
older and I haven't seen him in a while
I'm gonna go see him in a week and it's
making me realize my God we have not
seen each other and I hate that I hate
that I hate that it stresses me out
maybe the same is true for you or maybe
your mom and dad their health is failing
and it's really upsetting you or perhaps
like I used to have profound Financial
stress like just crushing Relentless
Financial stress always on my mind
always worried about it or your best
friends are going through a divorce
maybe that's something that's on your
mind and it's really bothering you and
you don't know what to do about it and
so here you are in your day-to-day life
you got this big thing that is on your
mind you carry it on they carry it
around like a backpack of stress you're
thinking about it all the time maybe
it's even just in your subconscious just
grinding away at you you haven't been
working on the dissertation oh my God I
need to work on that thing and why am I
not getting to it and oh my God I need
to do this I need to and so here you go
and like Viddy you sit down and there's
something you need to do
maybe you have to work on your portfolio
maybe you got to make a few sales calls
maybe you need to sort through all of
those medical bills and figure out like
how to get compensated and reimburse
from insurance talk about like something
that requires concentration maybe you're
working on your business plan maybe it's
something you're really excited about
you're working on the next chapter of
your book
but as you sit there
and you start to do the work
here's what's interesting
you need to concentrate don't you like
doing that thing requires a bit of focus
it requires your prefrontal cortex to
engage you've been learning all about
this on the Mel Robbins podcast but
you got the stress backpack on your back
you got all of this stuff ruminating
through you
and it might not be something that is
present of mine
it might not be like maybe all your kids
are doing fine today and so you're not
worried about you can't put your finger
on it
your stress backpack might be the fact
that you're still living with the
effects of childhood trauma
and so when you walk into work and you
sit down or you've got a list of phone
calls you need to make or you've got a
report you need to finish or you've got
something you need to edit and that's
going to require you to concentrate your
brain literally looks at you and it's
like um excuse me you want me to do an
illustration right now
you want me to make a phone call to a
stranger and try to sell them some of
this stuff right now have you not seen
that I have a stress backpack on
you want me to focus on 15 phone calls
when I've been worried about how I'm
going to pay my bills all day and what
mom's going to do can we just
look at some cat videos or some memes or
some Tick Tock dance Trends I mean I
need a break
and then all of a sudden what happens
actually you know two hours have gone
you haven't made a single phone call you
haven't drawn a single thing you have
not even cracked open the folder with a
financial aid application in it
you've been online shopping you've been
scrolling through Tick Tock you have
been texting people mindlessly you've
been looking at social media and then
what happens next you go oh my God holy
cow it's already three o'clock I didn't
do any of this thing and next thing you know
know
holy cow you're even more stressed out
and let me go back to that example that
I said about micro procrastination
which is the number of times you pick up
your phone
and you mindlessly
just check out
and you start scrolling on social media
I often will look at my daughters as
they're just
like it doesn't even make that noise but
I would imagine they're going through it
so fast I'm like what are you doing nothing
nothing
taking a break from life
and it feels like you're doing something
right because you're like but you're
doing this because you want to check out
for a minute you don't want to have to
think about anything you don't want to
have to focus on something why
because your brain and your body's
already taxed
see when you're stressed
it triggers that fight flight freeze
alarm system in your body you want to
know what procrastination is
I'm going to say that again because I I
can feel the wake-up calls going ding
ding ding ding ding ding ding as you're
listening I'm going to say that again
you know that you have a fighter flight
response right when you get stressed out
you go on edge
there's also freeze
when you're stressed you feel paralyzed
procrastination is a form of freezing
let me explain this see life triggers you
you
a bill arrives in the mail or in your
inbox and you're thinking how the hell
am I going to pay that
all of a sudden you get triggered by
stress your brain goes into survival
mode to protect you and you freeze
so without even thinking about it
you procrastinate on something why
because you're trying to feel a little
better right now that's why you look at
social media
that's why you blow off the 15 phone
calls because those feel hard
that's why you blow off the writing that
you need to do or the video that you
need to shoot or the thing that feels
hard and then what happens is because
you've blown it off in order to feel a
little bit better right now you get a
little behind and guess what happens
you then feel more stressed and this is
exactly what vidi is experiencing and
this is why you got to get in front of
this procrastination habit because this
will very quickly
spiral out of control
and here she is talking about how she
gets triggered that when she sits down
and she starts to worry about and hears
her stress is it going to be good enough
I gotta get this right I don't know if
this is the right drawing to do and she
starts thinking and thinking and
thinking and thinking and she even uses
the word siren naturally
naturally
she even feels like it's an alarm that's
getting triggered
listen to this I realized whenever
anything good is about to happen a siren
goes off inside my head oh it's
triggered to be true oh it's too good to
be true or you think you can do this
seriously you can't they chose the wrong
person you clearly not good enough there
are hundreds of much more talented
artists when you finish this project
they'll know that you are a fake that
you are not good enough so I think you
should stop doing whatever you're doing
right now
so yeah
every time something good happens I find
myself running from it and I and I think
we name this self-doubt as
um wanting to be perfect and for God's
sake I don't even like perfect I don't
want my drawings to be perfect I like
the imperfect part of my drawing
and another thing
um sometimes this negative talk this
negative voice gets so loud
I know that if I do certain things like
if I go and give myself a high five I am
going to feel better and I will be able
to get back and do my job but I just
don't do it I just don't it's like it's
like feeling shitty has become a
comfortable feeling I don't even know if
that makes any sense
that last line
it's like feeling shitty has become a
comfortable feeling
vidi what you are describing makes
perfect sense
what you're describing is how stress and
this desire this tension between just
trying and expressing yourself in this
deep-seated fear that it's not going to
be right or it's not going to be perfect
and how that paralyzes you that's why
you're procrastinating
and what you're describing is how it
triggers you to freeze when you sit down
to work as an illustrator and now you
are in a vicious cycle
because you're so used to feeling this
way it has become comfortable
and I want to make a really clear
distinction everyone
that the word comfortable doesn't mean
you like it
the word comfortable means you're used
to it
that it's normal to feel shitty it's
normal to feel stuck it's normal to feel
like you know what you need to do but
you can't make yourself do this and I
want you to hear me loud and clear this
is normal
this is a normal experience to have and
you can do something about it and if you
relate to video like I do good because
then you're seeing it you're seeing that
you're trapped in this cycle and seeing
it is really the first step and you
going okay good because I'm gonna break
the cycle I'm gonna replace it with
something else if you're still trying to
spot yourself in this vicious
procrastination Loop let me give you
another more relatable example that I've
been hinting at several times
how many times have you had that experience
experience
where you're going to bed you're
brushing your teeth
and you start to feel stressed out as
you're going to bed
because you reflect on the night and you
think oh my God I just wasted the whole evening
evening
I just spent three hours scrolling
through social media while I was
lounging on the couch watching something
on Netflix and I'm not going to get that
time back and now it's too late
and I know why you did it and so do you
you were stressed out you finished the
day and you were tired and you were
stressed or you were worried about
something or you felt like my god I've
been concentrating all day I just need a
break they call this Revenge
procrastination when you literally do
nothing at night you blow off time you
waste your time because you're getting
back at your job
because it stressed you out
is it a big deal to scroll on social
media now and then of course not
but when this habit
of micro procrastination or Revenge
procrastination starts to cause a cycle
of you coming home and feeling stressed
out all the time and now you're going to
bed stressed out and you're waking up
stressed out and you didn't take the
time tonight to set yourself up tomorrow
morning and now you're waking up
stressed out because you're feeling
behind based on what happened last night
this is how the stress builds and builds
and builds and so I think the big
question is this Mel what do I do about
it you now got me freaked out I'm no
longer Frozen I want to run I want to
take a sledgehammer and break the cycle
in half well when we come back you got
me and you got the research and the
solution and the three simple step
approach you can use to break the cycle
take back your time stop procrastinating
and get your power back
oh and you watching on YouTube first of
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why I'm here all right let's go back to
the show mwah welcome back it's Mel and
we're talking about procrastination and
I am about to explain
the simple three-step process that you
are going to use based on Research in
order to break the Vicious Cycle of
procrastination and to take back your
time and your life I mean this is big
stuff and I'm going to warn you like a
lot of things that I share at first
glance it might sound kind of stupid
this one might even sound a little
smarmy but this is all research based
and in fact I have a copy of the five
second rule book right here with me I'm
on page 145 which is where chapter 11
begins which is all about the science of procrastination
procrastination
um Step number one
to Breaking this cycle
when you catch yourself procrastinating
step one
the next time you catch yourself
procrastinating Step One is forgive yourself
yourself
and there's a really profound reason why
procrastination is not about laziness
it's not about a lack of discipline it's
not something you do because you're dumb
procrastination is a coping mechanism
you just have a desire to feel good
right now and you deserve that
you have a desire to lessen the stress
in your life
and you deserve to lessen the stress in
your life I get it and this first step
to forgive yourself this comes from
research from Dr pikel by the way he has
been studying procrastination for two
decades I mean just imagine that
studying procrastination for two that
that is a dedicated person right there
and we thank you for your service to all
of us his research found that people who
forgive themselves are less likely to
procrastinate again in fact there was a
study that he did I want to turn to the
page I got the book right here
he co-authored a paper about how
students who forgave themselves for
procrastinating were less likely to
procrastinate on their next test it
sounds silly but part of the problem
that psychologists have uncovered is
that when you're somebody that
procrastinates you're really hard on
yourselves to begin with
in fact being hard on yourself is one of
the major causes of why you're so damn
stressed and so taking a moment and
forgiving yourself and you've got to
actually have a talk with yourself where
you are sitting there like oh my God two
hours just went by wow I must be really
stressed out
I forgive myself for just blowing off
two hours on social media and you know
what I can spend the next hour setting
my day up tomorrow for success
or maybe you see all your bills and you
realize you haven't opened those suckers
in two months
just go wow I haven't opened my bills in
two months I must be really nervous
about this
I forgive myself for not doing that and
you know what I'm gonna do
I'm I'm gonna just do the best that I
can I'm gonna face this head-on because
the next step that you're going to take
once you forgive yourself you got to
recognize that you're doing it
why because patterns and habits repeat
unless you replace them and so noticing
that it's a pattern catching yourself
forgiving yourself that is a way we're
going to break this pattern
because the step two based on Research
you must identify what you're stressed
about so let's go back to the example of
seeing bills piling up or uh getting the
second notification that you didn't pay
that parking ticket
because you procrastinated and now you
missed the deadline and now it's twice
as expensive whoa
whoa
I really blew that off
I forgive myself
what am I stressed about
I'm really stressed about senior year of
college ending
I'm really stressed about this
presentation that's coming up I'm really
stressed that I'm behind on my sales quota
quota
I'm really stressed that my spouse and I
haven't really talked for the last
couple days and they're really mad at me
I'm really stressed about getting these
test results back from my dad
worried about him
when you identify
what you're actually stressed about
it loosens its grip on you
it comes out of hiding and see I think
that stress backpack is an important
analogy or metaphor that you can
visualize it's behind you so you're not
like thinking about it when you identify
what it is you bring it right in front
of your face and because you're now
identifying the source of the stress it
loosens its grip and now what you're
going to do is you're going to ask
yourself well what would the future me
want to do right now
vidi the artist in you that has already
finished her portfolio what does she
want you to do right now you've forgiven
yourself you've acknowledged what's
stressing you out which is the
Relentless pursuit of perfection what is
the future you want you to do
or Mel you know you're zipping up your
pants and that bread basket is in there
and you know you forgive yourself for
blowing this off for so long and you
acknowledge the stress that you feel
because you are getting older and this
makes you feel like you're not in
control of what's going on
what would the future Mel that had gone
to see the doctor and has got this in
place what would she want you to do
right now
and so that's what you're going to ask
yourself what is the future you want you
to do right now and it might just be the
future you being the person that's
waking up tomorrow morning
if you're sitting on the couch two
glasses of wine in and you realize
you've procrastinated for the last five hours
hours
and you've
acknowledged it you've forgiven yourself
for doing it you've acknowledged the
stress that you feel because you know
you are in a fight with a friend or a
boyfriend or whatever
what is the you that's going to wake up
tomorrow morning want you to do right
now I'll tell you what that you wants
you to do they want you to get off the
couch they want you to pack lunch for
tomorrow they want you to brush your
teeth and turn off the TV and the phone
and read 10 pages of non-fiction and get
a good night's sleep that's what the
future you wants you to do the future
you does not want you to slip back into
that vicious cycle and spend another
three hours watching cat videos and
memes and Tick Tock videos which we both
know is exactly what you would do if you
didn't break the cycle by forgiving
yourself for doing it for three hours
acknowledging what you're stressed about
and then deciding what the future you
wants you to do instead and then finally
use the five second rule why this is not
just listening time people this is doing
time we always say that about the Mel
Robbins podcast
use the five second rule it's one of the
most effective science-backed starting
rituals on the planet for creating a new
habit or pattern and all you're going to
do is you're just going to start
because after you've forgiven yourself
and you've validated what's stressing
you out and you've tapped into the
future you who is kicking ass and taking
names and needs you right now I just
want you to start for one minute so vidi
when you sit down tomorrow morning
and that self-doubt is there and that
procrastination kicks in no problem use
the steps and then 54321
start drawing for one minute
and here's what we know based on the
research once you make that first cold call
call
you're likely to keep going
once you start writing that first
sentence on this chapter you're going to
keep writing once you hit record on that
video on the video you're going to keep
going once you fill out the first name
last name line on the application you
need to fill out you're going to keep
going once you pull up your resume
template and you start writing
you're going to keep going
because the problem isn't your ability
to do what you need to do
the problem is you've been trapped in
this stress and Trauma and nervous
system triggered vicious procrastination cycle
cycle
Mel come on I I was listening to this
because I want to be more productive I
want to make more money I want to get
more [ __ ] done I want a more life
balance now you're telling me
productivity it's about forgiving myself
it's about calling forth the future me
why would I want to try that well
well
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you back to the show
so why would you want to try that
let me tell you why
because procrastination is a habit
and this habit becomes a very vicious
cycle and that's exactly where vidi is trapped
trapped
so let me let her tell you what it feels
like when you don't nip this in the bud
when the Vicious Cycle of
procrastinating on her art and her work
is now creeping into other areas of your life
life
worst part of all of this whatever this
is self-doubt or whatever wanting to be
perfect whatever this is the worst part is
is
that this doubts this fear is slowly
seeping into all areas of my life I know
this is affecting all my all the
relationships in my life
and I am just worried that this will
take over and and destroy everything I love
love
so I think the question is rather how
can I relearn
to believe
in myself how can I
relearn to believe that I deserve all
the good things that come my way and
that I am good enough how can I learn
that very I love that I love that you
reframe the question because that is
what this is about see I told you
procrastination was not about
productivity and I also told you that
the thing that triggers it was going to
surprise you
and that's why this topic is so important
important
I say every day
that it is never too late to wake up and
be the person you want to be
and you deserve that
and here's the truth on how you do that
you have to act like you believe in
yourself before you believe in yourself
I'm gonna say that again
you want to learn
how to stop doubting yourself you want
to learn how to believe in yourself
again you want to learn how to not be so
afraid or full of Doubt or full of
perfectionism which by the way is
something you learned in order to cope
with crap that was going on in childhood
perfectionism everybody is what you do
in order to protect yourself from
rejection there's a huge huge connection
between your desire to be perfect
procrastinating and the fear of rejection
rejection
and so using these tools
you not only are going to break the
pattern of procrastination
you have a road map for the actions that
take you to the Future you because again
you have to act like you believe in
yourself before you do believe in
yourself so let me just make this super
super detailed for you vidi
when you wake up tomorrow morning and
you sit down in that chair and you walk
through these simple steps that I have
just taught you based on the research
when you start drawing
you are acting like you believe in yourself
yourself
and notice you started drawing before
you did believe in yourself
that's why this is so powerful
when you see yourself acknowledging that
you're procrastinating
and labeling the stress and forgiving
yourself for getting triggered by it and
then 54321
doing it anyway because you're the kind
of person that picks up the phone or
picks up the pen or walks out the door
or says that thing or does that thing
and you keep doing that consistently
you know what's going to happen
you're not only going to get the results
that you want
you're going to believe in yourself
because you're going to see yourself
doing the work to get the results that
you want
it begins with the action and that's why
I say the Mel Robbins podcast is not a
listening podcast it's a doing podcast
it's in the doing that you become
someone new you cannot wait to feel
ready you cannot wait to feel motivated
you cannot wait for procrastination to
disappear it doesn't work that way
you gotta act before you feel ready you
gotta act like you believe before you do
and that's why this topic is so
important it's why I believe this will
be probably one of our most shared
episodes because everybody struggles
with this whether you have kids in
college or High School share this
episode with them
if there's somebody that you wish would change
change
this episode will be very eye-opening if
you have somebody in your life maybe
it's you or maybe it's somebody that you
care deeply about that has huge
potential and you're like why won't they
just start doing that thing why are they
not writing their music why are they not
starting their Channel why are they not
applying to nursing school why don't
they believe in them so why don't they
just do that thing
I'll tell you why
they're stuck in a vicious cycle
and now you understand it
so send this episode to them so they can
understand it too
and tell them it's a message from their future
future
and in case nobody else tells you this today
today
I'm not procrastinating on this one I'm
going to tell you that I love you and I
believe in you and I believe in your ability
ability
to catch yourself
when you start procrastinating I believe
that you can as cheesy as it sounds go I
forgive myself three hours down the
toilet I needed it you can acknowledge
the stress
and you can act like the future you you
want to know why you deserve that and
the more you do this the more you're
going to be on your way to being the
future you
alrighty I can't wait to hear what you
thought about this one and I'll talk to
you in a few days
I gotta go call my doctor
oh one more thing
it's the legal language
this podcast is presented solely for
educational and entertainment purposes
it is not intended as a substitute for
the advice of a physician professional
coach psychotherapist or other qualified professionals
[Music]
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