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CAEL Prep - Writing Strategies: Essay Structure (Part 1) S3 E7

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Summary

Core Theme

This content provides a detailed guide on structuring and writing a four-paragraph essay, specifically tailored for the KO test, emphasizing the introduction, body paragraphs with supporting details, and a concluding summary.

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[Music]

hello and welcome back to our ko

language series

today we're going to continue working on

our writing skills we're focusing on the

essay structure so over the last couple

of episodes we've looked at gathering

information from some source material

and putting that information together

and usable way to write an essay

structure this will be a continuation

then of last week's episode so if you

haven't already seen our previous

episode now would be a great time to

pause this video go back and watch it

and catch up with us when you're ready

so let's get started by reminding

ourselves what an essay is all about an

essay does follow a very specific

structure and you're looking right now

at the correct essay structure this is a

four paragraph essay this is actually a

submission on a pascal test as a matter

of fact in part four on ko you will be

asked to write a long piece of writing

and that's what an essay is all about so

in this case your first paragraph will

always be your introduction in any essay

you write it's going to first identify

or introduce the main topic that you're

writing about and then it's also going

to answer the question on the test that

you're trying to address

this would be called your thesis

statement where you provide that answer

and that statement in that first

paragraph is going to let the reader

know what the rest of the essay will be

all about those two middle paragraphs

you see right here we refer to them as

the body paragraphs of any essay this is

where all of these specific details will

come from now on the ko test when you

write the long piece of writing you will

be required to use information from both

the long reading and the long listening

passages so again that's where you're

pulling details from in order to write

the two middle paragraphs

the more specific your support is the

better your score will be on that area

for the kl test itself

that last paragraph right at the bottom

is your conclusion and every essay you

write must have a concluding paragraph

its purpose is to summarize all the main

points that you have discussed

throughout the entire essay and

sometimes it's a place for you to offer

up a next step or a reflection on what

perhaps might happen next we'll look at

this structure again in more detail now

remember an essay that you write might

be longer than four paragraphs

you're always going to have that

introduction and the conclusion but you

might have three or even four middle

paragraphs this one only has two and i

think on the kl test when you write this

long piece of writing you've only got 35

minutes to put together the entire essay

so i think most of us will probably have

time to write the two middle paragraphs

if you're a very practiced and fast

writer you might have time for a third

one it's really up to you but on the kl

test itself you must finish the essay in

35 minutes time

so again last week we looked at how to

gather information from the source

material itself and we spent that

episode putting together this outline

we wanted to answer the question on the

test first to clearly identify our

thesis and then again we wanted to look at

finding enough supporting details to

offer up these two body paragraphs now

every single paragraph that we write

about in the essay has to discuss only

one main point that's really really

important and we'll come back to that

point again very soon here as we begin

writing again our conclusion is well we

don't have to worry about too much in

our in our outline process but once

we've written the first three paragraphs

here we'll be in a position then to

summarize our main points

so just again to remind ourselves this

is the exact same question we have been

working on over the past several

episodes now so it should be somewhat

familiar but i will read it out loud

just to jog our own memories today

it says based on the reading passage how

have changes to sports equipment

improved performance at the olympic games

games

so again remember on the real kale test

you must use information from the

reading and listening passages

for today's episode in order to simplify

things in a shorter amount of time we

are only going to focus on the reading passage

passage

okay but again the structure of the

essay will be the same regardless of how

many sources you have but i did want to

make that distinction again on the real

test use reading and listening but in

this practice episode we are just going

to use the reading episode it makes our

job a little bit easier as we're

learning how to write an essay in the

first place

the other slight difference here that

we're doing in practice is that this

question that we're answering is a

comprehension question on the real kale

test you'll have a question that will

ask you to select a position and support

it that way but again in order to

simplify things down and really hone our

essay writing skills and understand how

it should be structured we're going to

use this comprehension question instead

but the structures that we learned today

will be applied to absolutely any essay

you write whether it's on the kl test or

otherwise so let's review i guess the

outline then that we did create in the

last episode so you'll see the same

question right at the top of the screen

to keep us all on track

in that introductory paragraph space we

took the time in last week's episode to

answer the question and give our very

detailed thesis statement so i'm going

to read out loud right now this

introductory paragraph statement and

this is what we're going to actually be

writing today we're going to put this

idea into paragraph form so the idea

that we will be focusing on is

technological advancements to sporting

equipment have allowed olympic athletes

to achieve faster results and

demonstrate more competitive performances

performances

okay so again we've answered that

question up top

we are focusing strictly on innovative

equipment and how it's improved athletic

performance at the olympics

but we worked hard last week to look at

that reading passage and identify two

specific ways in which athletic

performance has improved so we came up

with the idea of achieving faster

results so again this innovative

equipment is allowing athletes to finish

faster in their races now and also they

can demonstrate more competitive

performances this way too

so innovative equipment pushes them to

demonstrate a higher level performance

is really what we're arguing

and again in last week's episode we

looked at the structure so we've got

these two guiding ideas here in the

introduction in yellow achieving faster

results that's our first focus so that's

going to be the content of the first

body paragraph

all of the three examples here that we

pulled right from the reading source

last time these all demonstrate how this

advanced equipment is allowing athletes

to finish faster at the olympics

the second guiding idea in green in the

introduction there is about the

competitive performances

so because it's a brand new idea it's

completely different than faster times

we have to start a new paragraph

so demonstrating competitive

performances then becomes the topic of

this second body paragraph and those

three specific examples that you see

there came again right out of that

reading passage to show how this

innovation can help athletes push their

performance to the next level again

you'll notice the order is very well

organized so because we introduced

faster times first in the introduction

we're going to address faster times

first in the middle of the essay

likewise the competitive performances

comes second in the introduction so

that's why it's the second body

paragraph and so on okay so that's the

basic structure

so what i'd like to do now again is

we're going to take this this outline

and put it into paragraph form so this

is the the next step your draft process

if you will on the kl test

so i'm going to take that introductory

statement up top and i'm going to place

it right at the bottom of the writing

space here this is our thesis and we're

going to end our first paragraph our

introduction with this exact idea so it

will lead into all the details to follow

but we have to write a couple of

sentences first in order to introduce

the topic so looking back at our question

question remember

remember

the question is asking us first to focus

on sports equipment

specifically the changes too

and also has to do with the olympic

games so before we even get talking

about innovations to equipment i think

it would be wise just to introduce this

notion of sports and olympics

competitive sports

play a vital role across the globe and

are characterized by a spirit of

competition and fair play among athletes

so that one sentence again is

introducing the reader to this idea of sports

sports

i now want to say something about the

olympics so i'll add a second sentence

to do that

so we can say the olympic games

are perhaps the most widely viewed

sporting event by global audiences

particularly because the games celebrate

the top achievements by the world's

strongest athletes

so that's a very fine introduction again

encompassing both the idea of sports and

the olympics it's an overview to the

topic of the question itself it doesn't

answer the question but it's setting up

the background context so that the

reader understands what's about to come

next as we further our discussion

so i suppose the next thing we really

need to do is is get right down to the

meat of the question which is asking us

to consider how these changes have

improved the sports

we've already got our thesis statement

at the bottom

so it's a matter of adding in a sentence

to get from that top introduction to the

thesis at the bottom so let's say

something about how

how

equipment and the games have evolved we

are talking about the olympics um after all

all

and when we looked at the reading

passage it actually told us that the

olympics began about 2500 years ago so

we can pull that detail now and it makes

for a very interesting statement to

include in the introduction we can say

here that the winning attitudes of

athletes competing in the games may be

the same now as they were 2500 years in

the past that the science and technology

of sports have undergone dramatic

changes so there's that concept of change

change

and we're pretty much ready to connect

right on to that thesis let's just add

in one transition

if we say this it all makes sense so in fact

fact

technological advancements to sporting

equipment have allowed olympic athletes

to achieve faster results and

demonstrate more competitive

performances than ever before

so that's our introduction again step by

step we looked at introducing the main

topic sports and the olympics we then

looked at getting the idea across about

how the olympics have changed over the

years and then we specified that it's

the changes to this equipment that are

allowing athletes today to race faster

and in a more competitive way but the

higher skill set is really what we're saying

saying

so looking back at our interior our

outline rather we can say effectively

that that introductory paragraph has

been finished i think we're we can say

we're satisfied with it let's move on

again on the test you don't have an hour

just to write your introduction you have

to keep it quick so keep an eye on your

time make sure you've got your

topic introduced your thesis done and

get right into the middle paragraphs so

starting with body paragraph one this is

the paragraph that talks all about the

fast times so let's throw those ideas

from the line at the top here to keep us

all on track

so the very first thing we must do

before we start citing these three examples

examples

is we have to introduce the main topic

of this one paragraph so remember how

one paragraph discusses one main idea

so let's write a topic sentence that

introduces how this advanced equipment

allows athletes to race faster that's

really what we're saying here so let's

try something like this

innovations in equipment design have

allowed modern olympic athletes to

achieve faster results throughout competition

competition

so that introduces the concept of faster

times really well done there i think

so let's maybe underline our topic just

to keep us all on track so absolutely

everything we talk about in this

paragraph has to connect back to the

idea of fast times

if the example is not about going faster

it does not belong in this paragraph all

of your ideas have to be on topic which

is about speed that's the focus so we

already have our three examples again we

pulled these out of the reading source

last episode our first example we

learned that bikes now use carbon fiber technology

technology

which makes these bikes really really

lightweight they're under four pounds

now so you can imagine an athlete that's

pedaling along on a lightweight bicycle

of course is going to be able to travel

faster so this is the idea that we want

to include so let's say something about

bikes or cyclists here maybe this would work

work

so cyclists for example

notice our transition for example

are crossing finish lines in record

times due in large part to new carbon

fiber technology that is used to create

lightweight bicycles

since each bicycle now weighs under four pounds

pounds

it can be ridden faster than at any time

in the past

so if you notice how we've sighted first

off the equipment we identified the bike

we showed how it was advanced it's using

this carbon fiber technology

and we connected that back to our topic

so this advancement then lets the

athletes go faster so that

example then has been completed

successfully i would say and we're ready

now to add in the second example

this one's all about arrows who that

also use carbon fiber technology and we

read in the reading passage that again

it allows the arrows to leave the bow

much faster now i guess than ever before

so we need to say something about arrows

or archery

so this sentence might work we have

carbon fibers are also used to coat the

modern glass and foam arrows used by archers

archers

these materials increase the speed of

each shot which sometimes exceeds 240

kilometers per hour

okay so again look at how we've

connected the notion of speed i didn't

want to use the word faster again

because i've already used it twice now

so we said increase the speed which

means the same thing and that example of

240 kilometers per hour again we pulled

that right out of the reading source so

we're trying to be as specific as

possible to really emphasize how fast

these athletes can can compete now due

to the innovative equipment

all right so i think i think that

example is sufficiently accomplished

let's move on to number three so this

one spoke about the art or the sport

rather of swimming and it was all about

how the pool is now equipped with these

special grills that eliminate turbulence

in the water

so if the water is calmer the athletes

then can swim more quickly through that

water they don't have the waves pushing

at them to slow them down so that's the

idea here that we're trying to get in to

this paragraph

so we'll start with introducing swimming

and we have here swimming is another

sport where athletes are setting new

world records thanks to structural

updates to the pools

olympic swimming pools are now equipped

with turbulent stamping grills that

eliminate the waves that are created by

the kicking and arm motions of the athletes

athletes

calmer waters easily produce faster race results

results

so again we added that last little

phrase there to summarize or to connect

i guess

this notion of how the grills in the

swimming pool also allow athletes to

compete much faster now than ever before

so we have very strong coherence every

single detail here you can see through

the orange underlying details they all

speak about fast times

following the the example of how the

specific piece of equipment has been

innovated or advanced in modern times so

we're pretty much done the paragraph i

think one more sentence at the end here

to conclude or to summarize would be

helpful in this regard

so let's try something like this this is

a complex sentence so it adds also a bit

of elevation to the academic nature of

our writing we might say

although training and proper nutrition

play a large part in an athlete's

results at the games

advancements in the equipment that the

competitors use

is certainly a contributing factor to

the record-breaking speeds that are

being set in modern times

connection if you will in the conclusion

there's my connection back to the top

faster results and record breaking

speeds as well

okay i notice i've got a small grammar

mistake there too advancements in the equipment

equipment

should be that the competitors use

are certainly contributing factors so as

you do the proofreading as you're

catching mistakes as you go you would

want to fix them as you go all right i'm

not going to take the time to do that

now but i point it out because sometimes

as we're writing we don't even notice

the mistakes we make but there's one there

there

all right let's move on to

the next body paragraph we're finished

with body paragraph one i think body

paragraph two is ready to be begun

this one's a completely different topic

it's all about having more competitive

performances so we're finished with

speed we don't want to talk about that

again here's the new focus of this new paragraph

paragraph

so again just like we did earlier we

should start with the topic sentence

it's going to introduce what this whole

paragraph's about something to do with

competitive performances showing higher

level skill sets and so on

one way you might transition into this

this new topic is somehow by referencing

the idea that came earlier in this case

the faster times and then adding on this

new idea that also shows

improved performance at the games

so this is what i mean let's let's look

at this example and see what you think

it says here that faster finish times

are not the only benefit for olympic

athletes as a result of technological advancements

advancements

innovative equipment also creates more

challenging and competitive events

pushing athletes to demonstrate stronger

abilities and higher level skills

okay so the orange underlined idea here

is the focus

but adding that line above or earlier

about fast times also contributing this

is what again connects this second main

idea to the rest of the essay it's

strengthening the coherence and that's

one of the elements that the writers are

looking for throughout the writing so

it's a little tip i share with you in

case you want to experiment with that

approach in your own writing

at any rate we have our topic so we're

now ready to look at how we want to

incorporate these examples into the writing

writing

so the first one's all about dumbbell bars

bars

we learned from the reading passage that

they are now coated with this special

rubber coating

and that allows the athletes then to

grip that bar a lot more firmly so that

they can lift heavier weights so you can

imagine then how that's improving their

overall performance in that sport

so let's add that idea now

we'll start with our transition for example

example

weight lifters now use dumbbell bars

that are covered with rubber

allowing them to grip the bars more

firmly and lift heavier weights

so again i underlined that a specific

example in orange there to show how it

connects back to our topic presented up above

above

let's look at our second example all

about swimming pools again but this time

we're looking at how they have rubber bumpers

bumpers

that have been added at the end of the

pool on both sides so that when the

swimmers get to the end and need to turn

to make their lap they have much more of

a grip in which to push off so again

that's allowing them to elevate their

performance and their technique

so we might say modern swimming pools

have a bumpy rubber coating on either

end to give swimmers a better grip when

turning at the end of a lap

okay so again we need to highlight how

their performances is being elevated how

it's more competitive now because of

this equipment

our final point is all about canoeing

and kayaking so the reading source told

us that in modern days now at the

olympics computer software is actually

being used to build the course in the

first place so can you imagine these

boats in the uh the games with athletes

in them

traveling down they're racing down this

long waterway trying to get to the

finish line quickly but now the the

course itself is

having complicated turns or maybe there

are extra obstacles like rocks and so on

added into the racecourse so you can

imagine then that these kayakers or

canoers have to really fine-tune their

technique so that they can navigate

around these turns and obstacles so

using this software to build that course

is pushing the athletes to

go go harder to demonstrate higher level

skills so that they can get to the end

of the course

in record time

so this is a little bit more of a

complex idea so it takes maybe a few

sentences then to get the idea down

so we have here computer technology and

engineered mapping systems are making

canoeing and kayaking more competitive

as well

for instance race organizers for these

boating events used software to build

the entire course

they place each turn and rock in a

location that makes for the most

challenging and competitive race

so i think because this third detail

finishes with the idea of having a more

challenging and competitive event that

matches very closely with what we

started so i think for this paragraph i

don't feel the need to add yet another

concluding sentence that would say

pretty much the same thing the way we've

written this seems to end this paragraph

on a natural note

note

so let's just check off paragraph two

and we're almost finished now it's a

matter of just writing our concluding paragraph

paragraph

so we must summarize the main points

first off in this concluding paragraph

so that means then we take away all of

those specific examples

we've already addressed them in the

essay proper and we're not going to talk

about specific examples again

in the conclusion we cannot add any new

ideas either

the conclusion is there strictly

to remind the reader what we were

talking about in this essay

notably that

advancements to sporting equipment allow

athletes to produce faster race results

and demonstrate more competitive

performances with higher skills

that's really what we want to say in a

couple of sentences at the end

we can also add a next step here i think

if we look at where since the olympics

happen every four years anyway we might

want to make a statement about how

technology is ever increasing so that in

years to come at future games it would

make sense then that athletes will

continue to excel in their performance i

think that would be a really fine way to

end this entire essay so let's look at a very

very

short concluding statement that

summarizes all those points

so here we have the evolution of sports

equipment has provided olympic athletes

with more opportunities to improve

performance and set new records

finish times are faster and competitions

are more challenging resulting in

impressive demonstrations of athletic ability

ability

performances by the world's best

athletes will likely continue to improve

as technology is developed further

so there we have it

if we look back right now at the

introductory paragraph up top this is

that thesis statement this is how we

finish that first paragraph and it

answers the question with focus so i

just want to point out how our ideas

from that first paragraph

come back again in summary form in the

second or in the concluding paragraph

below here so you can see those two

phrases that i've underlined in orange

they mean the exact same thing the idea

is the same but we've paraphrased the ideas

ideas

so in the introduction we said

technological advancements to sporting equipment

equipment

in the conclusion we said the evolution

of sports equipment

so again on the kl test we're looking at

ways to vary our own language we can

paraphrase our own ideas too we don't

want to use the same words over and over

again in order to help maximize our

score for the vocabulary that will

embrace impress the raiders the most

we also mentioned about the olympic

athletes in the the introduction because

that's the focus of this whole question

anyway so we did cite olympic athletes

again in the conclusion i recognize that

these words are the same but we are

talking about olympic athletes and keep

in mind your introduction in the essay

is way up top the conclusions right down

here at the bottom so it's not going to

sound repetitive with just those few

words i think we're fine there i don't

feel the need to change those or

paraphrase them too much

i think in order to really um

capture the two main points we talked

about what we did here is we we looked

at a broad approach first so this whole

essay talked about how this new

equipment allows athletes to improve

performance and set new records that's

sort of the general gist of what we were

talking about

and we finish our conclusion with the specifics

specifics

so remember in our introduction we

identified those two key key ways in

which athletes are demonstrating better

performances they speak about faster

results and demonstrating more

competitive performances

so in our conclusion you can see again

how those ideas are there just reworded

so instead of saying achieve faster

results in the conclusion we said finish

times are faster

up top we said demonstrate more

competitive performances

in the conclusion we said competitions

are more challenging resulting in

impressive demonstrations of athletic ability

ability

so again our introduction and our

conclusion match we've summarized the

main points we've not left anything out

we've varied our language appropriately

and used an academic tone so all of that

checks out the last thing that we did

decide to add here this final sentence

in the orange brackets this is that next

step that prediction about uh what could

happen next as technology continues to

advance so it says here performances by

the world's best athletes will likely

continue to improve as technology is

developed further

it just makes it sound finished and i

think once the reader gets to that

sentence they'll also understand that we

brought that essay to a natural

conclusion so when you put the entire

thing together it looks like this

you've got the four distinct paragraphs

so this is called the draft process on

your test you're typing all of this

right into the computer screen

all right hopefully you've kept an eye

on your time remember on the kale test

you've got 35 minutes to write

i'm hoping you'll leave about two or

three minutes if you can to quickly skim

read it over and make sure that you're

happy with the ideas and that the

grammar and writing skills are all

correct now we're not going to take the

time to proofread it today but again on

the test you would there might be the

odd little grammar mistake here that

maybe we didn't catch as we were writing

the piece out

but this is your finished product on

your kale test you have to achieve at

least 250 words this one's quite a bit

longer this one measured 471 words so

we've added an additional 200 words or so

so again in 35 minutes some people would

have the ability to write that much and

that's great if you do

if you don't though that's also okay in

35 minutes you might just have to focus

on fewer examples in the middle

paragraphs so remember we used three

examples for both middle paragraphs if

you're strapped for time you might only

want to go with two examples in each

middle paragraph

so again be flexible look at your clock

and plan your time accordingly as long

as you've answered the question

you have provided specific details on

the real test you will be using both the

reading and listening sources so as long

as you've done that well and you've

offered up your conclusion to summarize

that's what the raters are looking for

okay so again at least achieve 250 words

go over that if you have time but finish

in 35 minutes on the real test that's

how to completely maximize your score

here in all areas

all right so let's stop there for today

essay writing can be very challenging

and i think that's more than enough

information to reflect upon and to

absorb hopefully you've learned some

tips and strategies here that will help

you to organize your own essays and i'm

also hoping that you'll put these tips

to good use as you practice to continue

to develop your writing skills [Music]

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UF8uR6Z6KLc

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https://youtubetotext.net/watch?v=UF8uR6Z6KLc

คำบรรยาย YouTubeกำลังเตรียมผลลัพธ์ให้คุณ…

คำบรรยาย YouTube:CAEL Prep - Writing Strategies: Essay Structure (Part 1) S3 E7

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รับคำบรรยายทันที: แก้ไขโดเมนในแถบที่อยู่ของคุณได้เลย!

คำบรรยาย YouTube:
CAEL Prep - Writing Strategies: Essay Structure (Part 1) S3 E7