0:46 good evening everyone good evening all
0:49 right sit down good evening good Heavens
0:52 rangie you're actually here on time yes well
0:53 well
0:57 done oh yes thank you man and uh thank
0:58 you for carrying it
1:01 it
1:12 you you're Spanish
1:15 creeper an Italian all right settle down
1:17 everybody we got a a lot of work to do
1:21 tonight right squee please uh just sit
1:23 down a minute har williiam no thank you
1:25 I'm only coming to tell you I'm not
1:28 coming not coming yes please well but
1:29 you can't leave in the middle of a term
1:30 I mean you were doing quite well why do
1:33 you want to leave oh blimy I'm coming up
1:35 on the puddles coming up on the puddles
1:38 yes please the football
1:41 puddles yes and I'm getting eight
1:44 scaring draws how many draw on the cap
1:46 on only the eight I'm
1:49 getting how much you win oh blimy it
1:51 could be half a million
1:54 pound Santa
1:57 Maria I'm very happy for you because you
1:58 are my best
2:11 friend I am true friend of Al you but of
2:14 course we are practically bloody
2:16 Brothers I thought you didn't like
2:19 Muslims I love Muslims especially when
2:22 they're having half a million pound well
2:24 I don't know what to say Ali I mean I'm
2:26 very pleased for you of course I'm also
2:27 being very pleased for me yeah what will
2:30 you do oh blim me I'm going going to the
2:33 bed to bed yes please with all that
2:35 money I'm not needing to be working so
2:37 I'm going to bed yeah you mean you're
2:40 going to retire most definitely yeah
2:41 you're quite sure you've got eight score
2:44 drawers oh yes I got the copy here
2:46 please the one I'm picking
2:49 off I see yeah well Ally I don't think
2:50 you're going to be able to retire just
2:53 yet you mean is not got at draw oh yes
2:55 he's got he's got eight drawers but oh
2:58 good they're not all on the same line
2:59 what difference is that making well that
3:01 means you're you haven't won anything
3:14 yeah typical of that Muslim tweet no
3:17 brains whatsoever oh blamy you are
3:19 changing tune when you are thinking that
3:21 I'm very wealthy you are being my bloody
3:23 brother that is before I am finding out
3:26 you bloody stupid don't you call me
3:28 bloody stupid you bearded baboon the
3:31 pair of you sit down I I presume you're
3:36 staying now Al I'm staying now yes good
3:37 right now this evening I thought we'd
3:39 try some practical use of the English
3:41 Language by acting out various
3:43 situations that you might come across in
3:46 real life now we'll start with you tarot a
3:56 so now you are going to the bank ble yes
3:58 sir where are you
4:00 going ble
4:03 no it's only a pretend Bank Pretender
4:06 yes sir yeah yes look we imagine that
4:07 this table is the bank counter that I'm
4:10 the bank clerk that you are a customer
4:12 and you've come in to cash a check all
4:17 right okay good morning sir it is not
4:22 good morning time it is good night time
4:24 yes it is now but we are
4:28 pretending awesome Kell thank you good
4:31 morning sir what moment what is it now
4:34 are you backo or
4:37 Midland doesn't matter Midland if you
4:44 goodbye goodbye
4:46 goodbye
4:48 Midland not my
4:53 bank B my bank yeah all right it's bar
4:57 clav good morning sir good morning you
5:01 wish to cash a check yes please good how
5:05 much £10 20 30 30 how do you want it in money
5:07 money
5:11 please £ 30 in t ones or fives or what
5:15 can I have the 30 or F so oh that would be
5:16 be
5:19 £150 ah sorry for mistake yeah well not
5:21 to worry thank you terara that's not too
5:31 Danielle you are the nicest Banker I
5:34 have seen yeah so we're not in the bank
5:35 now I want you to imagine something
5:39 different I have very good imagination
5:41 yes I'm sure you have now I want you to
5:43 uh you you were going to the post office
5:45 and I am the assistant
5:49 oh excuse me can you help me certainly
5:51 madam what is it you wish how much it is
5:54 a letter to post uh is it to somewhere
5:57 in England no it is a Swiss letter a
5:59 Swiss letter yes I had to my birday fine
6:01 in Switzerland yeah well it's more
6:02 correct to say that you want to send a
6:04 letter to Switzerland not a Swiss letter
6:05 it could be rather embarrassing if you
6:10 France oh it doesn't
6:13 matter I think I need some extra English
6:16 lesson maybe I could stay here with you
6:18 after class now I don't think we could
6:21 do that well I I come home with you and
6:24 you can teach me a lot sir yes I'm sure
6:25 I could but I think you know quite
6:27 sufficient already now is there anything
6:33 else you want yes but I cannot tell you
6:39 here from the post office no nothing
6:41 well all right thank you Danielle that'll
6:42 that'll
6:45 do now uh
6:49 one you are going to the employment
6:51 exchange but you're going to get a to
6:54 get a job ah I have a job yeah I know
6:56 that but we're assuming that you don't
6:57 and that you're going to the employment
6:59 exchange to get one as I explained to
7:02 ter we are just pretending ah s right ah
7:06 right what is your name you know my
7:08 name I do with the clerk at the job
7:17 Juanes right are you
7:19 married I'm married to
7:27 Gina don't be
7:34 who sh all right what sort of a a job
7:37 are you looking for a Plenty Money job
7:39 yeah but what sort of work do you want
7:41 to do in order to earn this Plenty Money plenty
7:43 plenty
7:46 little all right one thank you that'll
7:50 be sufficient P it I like it a very good
7:59 ranit what is it you're wanting me to do
8:02 uh you are going to the doctors and what
8:04 is the nature of my complaint well let's
8:06 just say that you don't feel well but
8:08 I'm never feeling better yeah pretend
8:14 what all right let's forget about the
8:17 cold just imagine that you have a pain
8:19 very well
8:23 sir well go on a thousand apologies I am
8:26 waiting for you to say next please
8:30 doctor always say next please next
8:32 next
8:35 please good morning doctor good morning
8:37 and uh what seems to be the trouble I
8:44 imagination you're supposed to pretend
8:48 it's a real pain a thousand apologies
8:53 again I have real terrible pain good now
8:57 where about abouts is this pain in my
9:00 foot but his brains are hurt
9:03 hurting your back be hurting in a moment
9:05 oh blimy you couldn't even crack a papum
9:07 give me back of fivers I'll give you bunches
9:15 of he caught me what on Earth is going
9:16 on in here well we were just having a
9:19 few practical lessons what in unarmed
9:22 combat well it might come un
9:24 useful well I'm afraid your students
9:26 will have to do without you for a little
9:28 while you're wanty down at the police
9:30 station the police station there's no
9:31 need to look so guilty it's nothing
9:33 you've done it's about one of your
9:36 students the Indian lady oh Jamila what
9:39 has something happened to her yes she's
10:13 hello Constable Wilkins where the devil
10:14 are you you should have been back here
10:19 by now pardon no I will not send a panda
10:21 car for you I don't care if someone has
10:43 Cup oh yes please no thank you for sugar
11:00 say English oh excuse me please she's
11:02 saying that she's very glad that we are
11:04 coming to help her
11:18 stole well nothing she must have said
11:20 more than that yes please she's saying
11:22 that she took a book from the newspaper
11:24 shop but the book was free well there's
11:26 obviously been some misunderstanding
11:28 I'll I'll sort it out with the police
11:30 will there be sending her to prison no
11:31 no no no uh nothing as drastic as that
11:33 I'll have a word with the sergeant £
11:36 ought to do it ah I'm understanding that
11:38 is a fine no no no it's not exactly a
11:40 fine let's just say it's a little gift
11:42 gift yes it's an Old English custom I
11:45 scratch your back you scratch mine ah
11:47 you scratch my back I scratch yours
11:48 that's right very well what are you
11:56 sure God
11:59 happing good evening good evening are
12:02 you Mr Brown no he's Mr Brown I was
12:03 speaking to
12:06 him right first time who are you Ali
12:11 Nadim no I am Ali Nadim you are Mr Brown
12:12 s I'll do the talking all right you just
12:14 leave it to me now I'm sure we can sort
12:16 this out inspector the commissioner
12:19 looks after promotions is you yes well
12:21 you look like an inspector I'm sure it's
12:23 only a matter of time may I compliment
12:24 you on your station and what a wonderful
12:27 job you're doing thank you sir now about
12:30 this young lady ah yes thank you sir now
12:32 about this young lady ah yes I expect
12:33 you'd uh like to have a look at my
12:36 driving license what for oh to verify my
12:39 identity you said you were Mr Brown yes
12:40 but you want some proof don't you look
12:42 if you tell me you're Mr Brown I accept
12:44 that as the truth yes but I could have
12:46 been lying were you lying and no he's
12:49 definitely Mr Brown he's telling the
12:52 truth I insist you look at my driving oh
13:00 happy is this yours sir pardon this5
13:03 note it was inside your Drive-In license
13:04 are you sure it could have dropped out
13:06 of your trouser pocket oh yes and
13:09 dropped upwards I suppose onto the desk
13:10 you might have had it tucked up your
13:12 sleeve yes and I could have a couple of
13:14 dobes up the other but I haven't it was
13:17 definitely in your license yes Sergeant
13:18 is correct I remember you putting it
13:20 there not a moment
13:23 ago I forgot it for just before you said
13:26 you scratch my back and I scratch yours
13:30 thank you George Washington no I am Ali
13:33 Ali just just be quiet please now
13:35 Sergeant about this young lady yes the
13:37 accused yes well remember British
13:38 Justice I mean a person is presumed
13:40 innocent until proven guilty and this
13:42 poor lady is innocent I know that I mean
13:43 just because she's an immigrant you
13:45 can't go picking up pardon oh she
13:47 pinched the book all right but she
13:50 thought it was buak she see what it says
13:52 on the front cover but free inside color
13:55 supplement that's right oh and she
13:57 thought the whole thing was free yes ah
13:59 well then it's not her fault if anyone's
14:01 to blame it's the person who's been
14:03 teaching her
14:05 English it's not always easy well if
14:06 that's all we'll be getting along come
14:10 along Jill oh but I before you go
14:13 sir would you like to make a donation to
14:16 our police charity fund yes well you've
14:18 caught me at rather an awkward moment
14:21 what about the fiver you remember sir
14:23 the one you thought you never had oh
14:24 that F you know what they say Sir what
14:27 you've never had you never miss unless
14:29 of course you knew it was the all the
14:32 time in which case it would come under
14:34 bribery and
14:37 Corruption you scratch my backck and
14:45 yours see Mr Brown is not back what are
14:47 you doing at the moment we are studying
14:50 our English glamour good how far have
14:52 you got let me see your
14:56 book Giovani Miss Courtney would like to
15:10 you the Affairs of a call
15:12 girl I thought it was about the
15:15 adventures of a telephone operator h a liky
15:17 liky
15:20 story well until Mr Brown returns I
15:23 shall take the class
15:26 Senora where are you taking
15:29 us I am not taking you anywhere I'm
15:31 going to ask you a few questions on
15:34 General Knowledge hello now first of all
15:37 can anyone tell me who said to be or not
15:43 to be please you just said it yes but
15:46 before I said it who said it excuse
15:49 please yes chairman
15:52 ma it may come as a surprise to you to
15:53 know but other people wrote things
15:56 besides chairman ma chairman ma light
15:59 everything well he certainly didn't like
16:02 right to be or not to be now does
16:07 anybody know William shakespare correct
16:11 excuse please who is this William spear Shake
16:13 Shake
16:15 Shakespeare thousand
16:17 apology are you not familiar with
16:20 Shakespeare's works is it a big place is
16:24 what a big place these works of
16:27 Shakespeare I am referring to the things
16:29 he wrote oh
16:32 excy now then can anyone tell me what
16:42 English not any
16:44 longer however what I really meant was
16:47 how many people are there I do not know
16:50 I have not counted them well let me ask
16:59 so can you tell me how many peas there
17:07 peas I think you had better all go back
17:09 to studying your books until Mr Brown
17:24 longer she
17:26 rather I wish she'd tell us why she's
17:29 brought us back here she said she was
17:40 you she's saying thank you for saving
17:41 her from the police and hopes that you
17:44 will do the same next time well I hope
17:55 time free offer two P off each tin huh supermark
17:57 supermark
17:58 Supermarket well I've obviously been
18:02 having a oh no free offer you haven't
18:16 supermarket me say that again oh dear
18:19 me you must go back and see the police
18:21 sergeant and scratch his back
18:23 again can't do that he'll never believe
18:25 this was a mistake I mean pinching a
18:26 magazine is one thing but knocking off
18:28 half a supermarkets are rather a
18:30 different matter on the other hand we
18:31 can't let Jamila keep all these stolen
18:34 goods it's it's dishonest she can give
18:36 them to me I don't mind being
18:39 dishers I'm sure you don't now now now
18:41 listen Ally I want you go back to the
18:42 school and ask all the students to meet
18:45 Jamila and I outside the supermarket
18:47 what are we going to be doing we're
18:54 back oh hello Dad is everything locked
18:57 up uh yes Miss Courtney uh by the way I
18:58 don't suppose you could give me a lift
19:00 well I'm sorry gladus I'm not going
19:01 straight home tonight there are one or
19:16 supermarket right now you all know what
19:18 to do just be very very careful that
19:59 hey
20:02 what are you doing here ah uh yeah well
20:03 I suppose you could say it was an
20:06 extracurricular activity sir excuse me
20:09 he's stuck what are you doing with that
20:11 job to give out yeah it's a long story
20:13 Miss Courtney I'll explain later let me
20:22 pull all right I've been watching you
20:25 lot just what do you think you're doing
20:27 would you believe we were putting things
20:29 back no
20:30 I didn't think you
20:34 would well well well regular little
20:37 Fagan aren't you I can explain Sergeant
20:39 you're not going to show me your driving
20:41 license again are you no that's a relief
20:43 you see we were actually trying to
20:49 students now look here Sergeant it was
20:51 obviously just a misunderstanding and I
20:53 see no reason why you should pursue this
20:55 any further I'm sorry madam Miss if you
20:59 don't mind yes
21:00 well I'm afraid I should have to make a
21:01 report out on this affair oh look
21:03 couldn't you just forget it ever
21:05 happened no well I'm sure your police
21:07 charity fund wouldn't say no to another
21:09 contribution Sergeant well we're always
21:11 grateful for anything sir uh should we
21:15 say another £5 that's very generous of
21:18 you right right come along
21:21 everybody just a moment Mr Brown where
21:23 are you going I've not made out my
21:25 report yet yeah but I've I've just given
21:29 you5 to uh forget it oh no sir you very
21:33 kindly donated £5 to our charity fund it
21:38 wasn't meant as a bribe was it sir no
21:41 good now let's take a few names you
21:43 madam sorry Miz
21:46 Miz
21:52 thank you you sir what's your
21:55 name how do you spell
21:58 that that's not his name oh give it me a
22:02 false name eh fa I'll come back to you
22:05 Mr poor faor or whatever your name
22:11 is you yes please what is your name oh
22:15 no what is not my name I don't want to
22:18 know what your name is not what is your
22:22 name and I'm telling you it is not you
22:23 what is his
22:26 name nine aha now we're getting
22:31 somewhere Mr nine that is not his name
22:33 you just said it was you ask me if his
22:35 name is V and I tell you nine V is not
22:37 his name but also not
22:38 not
22:43 on what is his name absolutely not not
22:46 what that is correct what is your name
22:50 wrong again he's not here who's not here
22:52 here
22:55 what now who is not here and what is not here
22:56 here
23:01 neither you're B me Mr
23:04 Brown if I promise not to proceed with
23:08 this report will you do me a favor yes
23:10 what is it get these crackpots out of
23:14 you and promise never to bring them back
23:26 murder good evening Miss cotney or
23:28 should I say
23:30 please don't remind me of last night's
23:33 unfortunate incident sorry I hope you've
23:34 explained to your Indian lady the
23:37 difference between free and free offer
23:38 oh yes she understands it now don't
23:41 worry it won't happen again ah excuse me
23:44 I'm looking for a Jamila
23:46 Ramjet are you thinking what I'm
23:48 thinking I hope not what do you want
23:50 Jamila well she ordered a mini bike from
23:52 us a month ago she hasn't played for it
23:54 we sent her three invoices she actually
23:56 ordered the bike oh yeah she sent in the
23:58 coupon look here it is oh no she's done
