This content is a highly informal and often vulgar podcast discussion covering a wide range of topics, including a male enhancement supplement, historical anecdotes, hypothetical superpowers, and various controversial or taboo subjects.
Mind Map
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can you hand me a white I would love to
mang mang what is that P pineapple dude
my [ __ ] will smell good ladies love the
pineapple they love it when you
D why the [ __ ] do you think I know what
my [ __ ] tastes like when I drink
pineapple why do you I didn't say I
didn't I'm asking why you think I know
you look like a guy did they already
start Brandon definely looks like a guy
that's tasted his come like we have to
clap listen here oh yeah
one two
three damn okay hey that was like so
Lock and Load what's
that started taking it a c days all
right I need to get some of that stuff
you do you do you can get it on uh we're
just freely pushing pka's [ __ ] now well
it's gorilla mind.com and use the code
Brandon I believe if you want to shoot
ropes like Brandon Herrera where' that
name come from Lock and Load was the
it's like a supplement you take ACH [ __ ]
it's like selenium and a bunch of other
[ __ ] but basically it's nine pills a day
and go go for it rocket nine
pills yeah but basically you're the
whole point is to come like a [ __ ]
champion and like it it literally just
like it's it's a it's a volume enhancer
gives you a pet volume enhance you come
a lot more I an eight or 10 rer yeah
it's like it's it just makes it makes
you come more it's the whole [ __ ]
point of the the the the supplement it
really works too you have to take it for
a while my favorite part is just
bewilder during random women yeah it's
amazing I started taking it a couple
days ago and didn't I didn't tell a
certain person so we'll and we'll see
how that goes oh so she hasn't noticed
yet oh wait wait for a well no no she we
got back so we went to Vegas for
Halloween right and she got like the the
SHOT show bug in Vegas and so she's been
down and out for the past three days
since I've been taking lock looking load
oh when you come back G yeah when we
when we like ease back into the game I
in the balls right now dudee those balls
are bursting oh like he's he's like
super charging the weapon he's filling
the Spirit
Bomb I'm thinking of like the Plasma
Pistol from Halo
just Cody's peeing in the morning his
balls are
thring like this doesn't feel
good and's like what's wrong why are
they the size of two grapefruits I don't
know don't touch him it hurts he's just
going to Handcock that
[ __ ] that's what we're talking about
yesterday it's like it just cuts to the
frame on the wall it's like a clean wall
it's a Splat of a wall but Heather's
outline it's just a clean cut like an
use the code
Brandon say what that's a great ad say
hi to Eli say hi to
Eli racially [Music]
[Music]
ambiguous that guy's [ __ ] ridiculous
donor that's harder to ride but he a
really nice guy welcome to unsubscribe
hey guys thanks for watching unsubscribe
podcast um make sure wherever you're
listening or watching whether it's on
YouTube uh Castro Spotify Apple Google
Amazon podbean Stitcher
or that's all of them please leave a
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do it it helps the podcast out immensely
and donut and Eli will be very happy if
you do that and we want to make donut I
happy today yeah five stars on
everything and a comment if there's
possible because we need to be at the
top don't it say something
motivating and that's where the you come
that is come subscribe Cody start
this hi everyone unsubscribed podcast
here I'm joined today by Eli double fap
Nico Ortiz Nick the fat electrician and Brandon
Brandon
me dude we're back to five where the
audio is either going to be a terrible
or B terrible it's looking good right
now five four mics this is going to be
good Nick's
audio you the one La yeah it's GNA be
awesome fluck we're so sorry sorry flck
literally just going to crop me out oh
get my audio cro me out just
SL this is weird laugh
donut understand what there's also going
to be Parts where like you're gesturing
over and there's just like a BL random
comes out it's just a censored bar goes
around me or some [ __ ] okay back to the
come though back to the so what's the
percentage you save you save save you
use code Brandon oh oh oh [ __ ] that
point you're coming more my brother in
Christ no I I think it's like 10%
something like that what is what is the
increase in SE in volume percentage wise
if you had to O that's that's what I
thought you were saying after after
about like after like two two weeks
three weeks being on like jump at least
50% a double come which also makes you
it makes you come longer too and hard
which oh yeah is the pleas nicer dud
that pre D you get that precom too yep
lots of precom dude you can sticky
finger all day long I don't know what
every guy I guess I just don't really
know what you're why why would you want
to sticky finger on when they yeah no
he's not wrong you don't want to I'm
kind like can you do your 15c um ad spot
for of just like a table and then you
just like try to spell your name with
your J it's just come hits the table
it's like brand just use your unsub code
in snow yeah it's like my favorite part
it's just the female enjoyment go from
oh this is amazing to oh this is going
on for a while to what the [ __ ] is
physiologically wrong with you scooping
it out scooping it
out why is it you got to warn me still
going [ __ ] so much Cal you know
occasionally my parents watch this well
thankfully it's right at the beginning
of the episode oh I no it's [ __ ]
great maybe they'll have grandkids
you're making a bunch of come yeah dude
they probably already have some it's a
possib I don't know Dad's going to be
like Brandon [ __ ] good work on the
[ __ ] [ __ ] stuff using it all day long
I'm going to be visiting them in a few
days I will absolutely be taking that
the entire time I got to keep up my [ __ ]
gains will lose it yeah like if you
don't it goes away you got to you got to
keep it up do Kay are [ __ ] the thing
are you on that Lock and Load grind I
used to do uh I used to actually build
my own little supplement thing with it
which was better or worse it was just
using random vitamins zinc it's all
those uh yeah zinc is a big one too yeah
all those little things there's like
some seed extract or something um is it
corn syrup it's not corn syrup this is
America it's definitely corn syrup you
drink cornr I'm like where the [ __ ] I'm
getting fat I'm not shooting more
[ __ ] CU you're drinking cor drinking
[ __ ] Dr Pepper all day long and
shooting like 20 foot robes Jesus [ __ ]
[ __ ]
Christ I just like
the the dry so more given recent events
does this mean that we need to revisit
Brandon's superpower oh dear God which
which one was Brandon what recent event
Brandon's is the one we can't talk now
that I know that you take this
supplement I want like it's like
Spider-Man jizz out of your dick you
swinging around from what's the down
side that sounds
great I don't think he would like he has
he comes like we're not going so well if
okay that's actually a pretty good
question if you guys could change your
uh your your superpower what would you
and would you change it to yeah I love
my superpow be great I do it every day
anyways and I don't fly the backwards
Dre you're really putting on like uh
Kevin Smith Vibes right now what would
be okay you guys create a superpower for
me or a better offset I like speed
speed's a pretty gangster one I think
there's better Powers but [ __ ]
running quick very fast you you get to
pick the power we get to pick the
downside [ __ ] yeah I are we changing
superpowers now no I don't mind I you
can change my
offset sh everywhere which is cool but I
think there's better offsets for super
speed yeah so for everyone that doesn't
know Eli superpower was he's the brown
streak he can run in incredible speeds
he's he's the flash basically but he
can't control his bowels when he runs
and he just shits everywhere got an idea
you you can't slow down super fast
see I like that he's just running School
60 miles hour he's like I'm Gonna Save
the kids in uali and then he can't slow
down it would still be better than yeah
be just run through four more classrooms
less children would have died you're
also you also have the same ability as
like the girl from X-Men that can just
walk through walls and walk through
anything you have that for 5 minutes
after you use your super speed I can
walk walk through walls you no you have
to you can't not you can get there super
quick but then you L can't touch
anything tangible you just get go there
and watch do a ghost
ghost
transluc I need to know ahead of time
your body's catching up bro would be
just as useful as the ubaldi
PD they got there pretty quick but yeah exactly
exactly
kids help me the brown streak I like
already showed up I'm like I you got 5
minutes of getting that [ __ ] on Under
Wraps cuz I can't do [ __ ] right now you missed
missed
one crime
cck crime
C oh my God I just show up and watch for
five minutes I love just having to watch
anything it's like my buddies getting
their ass beat I show up to save the day
still a 5 minute window nothing's
happening some Cody's yelling racial slurs
slurs
is offing himself over and over trying
to reset the day it's been [ __ ] 10
minutes and I could already tell this is
going to be the worst episode of
unsubscribe I've ever been on not worst
but the hardest I mean we started with
[ __ ] which that's that checks out okay
pineapple they were good we're redoing
these we went to Uvaldi right off the
bat we're doing really good we're doing
great dude this is what the people came
for just full swing man I I know why we
do this but why do you [ __ ] watch
that's worse guys we've been drinking
for like 7 hours now forgetting about the
the
days the previous days dude like mine
has to stop even just today it's been
longer than 7 hours all right yeah it's
been it's been a lot of hours at least
10 responsibly
though respectfully all I do
respectfully resp M what was your
superpower oh yeah what did we give you
one no I never I never got a superpower
how you've been on how many episodes so
far one one this is this is you know all
well yesterday the one yesterday well
yesterday's was two yeah but we didn't
do superpower CU I didn't even realize I
was like wait did we do his cuz like
okay Cody can fly he has to yell racial
slur to fly okay now I can run [ __ ]
awesomely fast but I just I love the
what is it what's my name CRI [ __ ] crime
cuck is the best name ever the Brown
start he gives bad ass detailed police
reports you got five minutes to finish
he's an awesome character witness in any
[ __ ] situation I'm I got your sketch
at least [ __ ] please don't leave
you're trying to put pen to paper
notes no godamn it oh well what's what's
yours uh so I think it's I I think I
can't die but I'm constantly offing
myself like I I it's like a Deadpool
thing like I can't actually die but I
think what we but exactly your downside
was he wakes his body stays there he
wakes up the next morning in the and he
doesn't remember how he died so Brandon
is always a body is left somewhere so
even if it's in his house he'll wake up
in his bedroom he's like oh what
happened I hang for the ceiling yeah and
you're like no no no no no no no no no
like you're trying to dispose of it like
that's what I like most is you having to
get rid of your own what is your name
God damn it oh I don't know I don't know
if I we I don't know if we ever gave
ourselves names the incredible
respawn what is it uh I'm the flying
fly the cosmic
just Just landing on earth like that no
Captain Captain cancellation
yours
yes oh yeah I forgot that yeah and she
can no it was that she can always read
your mind no that that was LE Lush that
was Leon Lush he could read Ms but his
wife could read his mind yes God I
forgot about that that's a really good
yeah thank you he's like mind reading I
was like dope that's [ __ ] awesome
your wife can always read your mind
she's the only one he's like [ __ ] well
that's actually perfect cuz he could
just divorce her no it's any future
spouse so anytime you get into a
longing then that's it unless he's
banging dang he's about to get it then
or he catching feelings they're just
read his mind then yeah or it goes to I
like your parents or something he knows
immediately the day when
go parents Jesus Christ it's immediate
it's like that's a little edle but all
right that girl the girl's just like God
I love him man this [ __ ] sucks what did
you say and you just sit there like this
bored as [ __ ] if they knew about the
superpower offset they might be really
kind of they might be flattered they're
like oh wow I'm getting close to him
because I'm starting to read his
thoughts like it might actually [ __ ] for
a second for for a second it's not going
to last would you going to last dudes in
your head or girl anyone in your head period
period what
what
wait you lost me on 80 dudes in your
head words you and words today Expos
it's not my strong suit hard swipe Bam
Bam Bam Bam
Bam Bam
Bam Happy Thanksgiving it is also Black
Friday Cyber Monday this coming weekend
which means you can get that money I
don't even need an ad paper for this one
this is all from up here somehow with
Black Friday Cyber Monday we have
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get that nice perfectly quaffed hair
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am I wearing this one of all ones like
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let me find one let me just get one out
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b50 for the weekend bam insert that
right there just fly down go get your
merch go get your beard creams go get
your beard oils just come have a good
time wish you guys all the happy
holidays M all the kisses love
you I like me Canyons that was the
funniest [ __ ] I've ever heard he was so
fast at bring we didn't give him a
negative no he G we're like what's your
power I want a super stretch we're like
okay what's we got to figure out an an
off thing to that and he's like punch my
wife I beat the [ __ ] out of her at least
two black guys in a broken nose so so so
what's the
offset where's the downside I don't I
don't see
it going no we were just
like me you doing okay everything good
just she that's how I activate my Powers
not like when you hit her does it
doesn't activate enough come here you
get more Angry he's like dragging her
around to try the scratch is directly
related to how hard they hit it's just
like the where all the problems are
solved by like oh I just got to run
faster he's like I'm sorry honey I need
to stretch
farther that key he's like it's like
right here and he just looks back looks
at the white it's like Iron Man in
the Space Jam yeah Space
Jam Space Jam he's the [ __ ] beating
he's like wow that's really far I'm
stretch really far it's about a [ __ ]
15 minute beat [ __ ] you better get
ready bro Nico what what is your
superpower I don't know y'all give me
one dude no you got the super pick my
own one we picked the bad side effect
you just got to pick the good what
superpower would you want okay okay to
be fair if I could pick any superpower
that I've like always wanted it would be
like teleport we already have that
Demolition Ranch has that one he has to
kill a kitten every time but he does
that anyway easy yeah but we want to
know that part where we were talking
about it's like where it's just an
annoyance cuz when you kill enough
kittens you get very desensitized oh
with Dan we were talking about after
like a thousand kittens we were saying
it's like you have two lazy Bo like one
that's laying down one's sitting up so you're
you're
like lay down teleport it's that kitten
game is getting there's a lot of kitten bodies
bodies
everywhere why does he run an animal
shelter come to my no kill shelter Dem
ding what's the superpower Nico yeah I
don't know
pick what superpowers have not been
taken then at this point though
literally we just covered all of them so
then how the [ __ ] am I supposed to pick
[ __ ] if they're all taken they're not
all taken you just said they're all
taken we cover we covered all the ones
that have all the X-Men well you said
one that I want maybe you could get like
[ __ ] spiky hands or that [ __ ] that's
L bro he's just a big [ __ ] cat bro my
brother in Christ you better step away
from the sh has anyone done like time
dilation [ __ ] oh see like gravity or
anything like that like gra or time yeah
gravity time gravity or time O Okay
pause you travel through time but you
have to adopt the mindset of the era
that you're in so if you're in the 1860s
you get super racist oh I love
this and if you're in like 2047 you get
and not just not just time geographic
location too o okay
both and when you go to a new time frame
it's still a Solid 5 days of it's still
there when you're you got a you got a
time travel hangover yeah you have a
time travel hangover where you like you
go from like 1700s America to like
2020 I I would become like a different
person then if I I would have to stop
traveling through time be like [ __ ] I'm
probably going to become a racist again
again again yeah I'm like I know the
game I can't it's too [ __ ] it's
tragic bro it's a risk it's like Quantum
new movie back to
racism yeah he's back to racism
RAC he has the watch on his hand the
whatever vehicle he's going in oh that's
a good poster that's a really good a
Cadillac it's a Cadillac yeah it's a
Cadillac Roots we're going we don't need
Roots Eli pulls up Nico get in the
we' got to go back to the future how how
would I feel about myself then if I look
at my ID one day and I'm just like
Ortiz I didn't say you had to become a white
white
supremacist you go to the Alamo and
you're like Ortiz why do you keep
choosing white supremacist to jump into
you have a choice how to save people
stop just going into those bodies wait we're
we're
going body jumping yeah I didn't I
didn't Quantum Leap I'm [ __ ] yeah
Quantum I'm
[ __ ] no it it was it was I'm able to
like travel through to or like pause
time and [ __ ] like that so that would be
really dope like Quantum Leap superpower
but the offset is you're just going to
like just the worst people in that it
could even be like it could even not be
that pronounced you're like oh let's
just go back to like 2008 and then for
like a week you're obsessed with Taylor
Swift for no [ __ ] reason
okay I'll take I'll take this power okay
if he's body swapping I was thinking of
Uncle Ruckus like oh God body swapping
bro like he's he's in the Greenville
slave auctions and then he fasts
forwards and he's Uncle
boond in the history of the world we're
two squirrel Fest like holy [ __ ] dude
look at you Jesus
Christ D [ __ ] Ruckus imagine if you
get Superman's power like all of
Superman's power like you wake up and
that is you're
like and the offset is you look
identical to Adolf Hitler no matter [Laughter]
[Laughter]
what boom and then your mustache you're
like no no no no no literally just go to
any time before
1939 true as a designated historian I'm
required to point out that Adolf Hitler
definitely was not allergic to
crystals he smoked them a lot the cryst
get a lot of math talking about that I
was like Krypton the [ __ ] yeah Superman
Kryptonite okay he exact no he was
injecting a lot of methamphetamine and
liquid cocaine yeah you can see he just
injecting it no he had a he had a
private doctor who was injecting it
which also as it turns out this is great
for the podcast uh the injection of
methamphetamine intra
intravenously uh apparently is such a
euphoric effect in the initial injection
that it can lead to spontaneous
ejaculation you just
come Brandon what's your discount
code Brandon at Gillam mine.com
Lock and Load and also just buy from
anybody it's really not
hard and come you can buy all that [ __ ]
on [ __ ] Amazon you get that [ __ ] for
fre in San Francisco and everywhere else
in California that's true you guys are
very Progressive for [ __ ] free you
just stand on a corner long enough
people like hey do you need clean
needles I remember see this the first
time I was like what the [ __ ] are they
we're trying to like stop no you're
you're giving people free needles to do
drugs this is bad they're just going to
reuse the free needles you're not going
to stop any disease true stop that give
free drug whatever happened to recycling
I will say though God they're just
dipping it's like a box of chloride
peroxide like one and go two and go
you're like this is not sanitary the
Earth is healing it's like that condom
the condom Factory you did where they
were using oh yeah com yeah com what was it
comum what I love Cody called me he's
like hey Eli uh you're Asian can you do
an accent me real quick for this bit
literally how that call went I was like
yeah what is it and he's like I'm going
to just send you what you need to say I
was like come to come come pum uh we
sell best used rub condoms you ever need
okay here you go number one number two
best in China okay you have good time
ding like that's good enough and then he
used I was like oh and it's like my
Asian friend like glaring on the bottom
of the yeah just like just so we're
clear it's fine if he does this ACC dude
I I don't remember what Asian country it
was but they made a monopoly of taking
used condoms and like recycling them and
selling them back to people and they got
busted and I'm not going to make an
Asian voice on YouTube and get busted so
I was like Bei help me out he's a comcom
Asian I just made a [ __ ] asan voice
on YouTube I am
almost got him Cody oh no oh no no no
no I'm almost 100% sure I've done a
racist Asian voice on YouTube before
yeah I'm 100% sure you've done that too
I know I can almost I oh no I know
exactly when I did that let's about the
yes you know who I [ __ ] hate people
who defend Sig sour also known as well
whatever you'd like to call them
I dude
why are you floating this isn't
racial I like Nick just contemplating
every time he's he's like every time
last night over there like why can't we
get Justin royland on the podcast like
well um we could before the sigers
konichiwa konichiwa today okay wait I'm
looking up the exact ad why am I so bad
at this this is like the hardest thing I
can have the phone in front of me I'm
like oh it's like one sentence this is
this is super easy I just have to
remember kamikoto is now running a Black
Friday sale their biggest sale of the
coto.edu thanks to kamikoto for
sponsoring today's video kamikoto why do
I say it in a Asian boys automat I watch
way too much Japanese anime that is what
that is what's we have to get through
that uh I watch a lot of anim anime Ames
kicha kamikoto is now running their
biggest Black Friday cell of the Year
this is the biggest wait kicha kamikoto
is running their biggest sale of the
year right now why because it's Black
Friday I might have to actually get this
proper let's try it one more time gicha
kamikoto is now running their biggest
kicha kamikoto is running their biggest
damn it f put this in we'll s make it
funny kicha Eli son kamikoto is running
their black God kicha kamikoto is
running their biggest [ __ ] Black
Friday cell kicha kamikoto is running
their Black Friday cell the biggest sell
of the Year hey I know that go to
kamikoto slash unsub to save $50 on any
order use code
unsub to get that thing to make that H
use code unsub to make to get $50 off
fluck I need some Japanese flute music
Samurai style go these are handcrafted
[ __ ] God these are actually really nice
if you haven't seen the wooden box they
come in look at this
oh oh look at those blades look at those
blades in this nice little box
now we cut something okay these are this
was left at the unsub
house testing the blade on food I found
at unsubscribe we have a pea oh it's a
breakf this actually looks really good
oh that smells really good too okay
let's see how strong first the first
thing you always cut with a knife paper ready
ready
oh Jesus okay that's really sharp It's
Paper the true test is can it cut
phole that is really sharp
actually I mean and that's bread usually
that's like soggy a real test would [Music]
[Music]
be anime eyes go hand these are actually
handcrafted in Japan they are super
super nice blades oh my God what did I
just open this is from B baddy left
mold I mean this is like a real
okay oh spores went the air that's groy
that is a sharp ass blade I ain't going
to lie huh kamikoto blades is running
their Black Friday sale the biggest sale
of the year go to kamic
cot. unsub and use code unsub to save
$50 off of any order God look at that
that is nice Japanese steel actually
holy crap go check him out
today pod anas that means I'll take one
please Anime boy last night it was the
first hour he was just like
oh what what happened last night oh God
it was something I was dude you guys we
were like oh are they going to go out
with us oh I don't know we'll see what
happens [ __ ] four or five hours go by
the bar is closing I get a text from
both of you at the same time like yo dog
what's the Mood 2 a.m.
like home we ready to [ __ ] riot last
night and half hours dude that was the
longest it was an hour and 20 minutes we
walk away do stuff Nick's drunk kicks in
he's like let's do it again I did you
[ __ ] you're going to give me can we
got to go again and then he's just like
he just sit okay [ __ ] he's
carrying the micro like okay what are
you trying to [ __ ] us over we're like no
no you [ __ ] up the first time guy you're
you're
done so today we're going to talk about
the USS
Indianapolis let me just read the
Wikipedia page real quick
and exactly it's 100%
up tell us about 45 versus n oh 45 ACP
yeah oh the history of the 45 anti- cow
projectile anti cow Pro the only reason
I know the story is your YouTube channel
[ __ ] you nice [ __ ] party fell got
white claw my bush light godamn
gay now my bush light smells like
mangoes it's like the verman Supreme
like with the [ __ ] glitter like
the internet makes enough fun of me for
drinking Bush light now Bush light with
white Claw on it Bush X be lies dude
there's I cannot tell you the amount of
people who meet me in person they're
like oh well I'm glad you like like
killing white Claws and never drink them
and I'm like oh
yeah yeah that's what that is totally I
I hate them so much oh man wait wait 45
ACP Yeah so basically America was
involved in military conflict I 98% sure
it was the Philippines they were going
up these uh gorilla warfare fighters
that were known for eating cocoa leaves
and getting very high on stimulants
before going into battle it [ __ ] up
they would ALS they would also bound
based they would also basically pre-t
turnit their limbs so holy [ __ ] 19 18
1920s yeah yeah the 20s I remember that
I actually remember this's get them
loose if you loose as [ __ ] I thought you me
me
like pass out after
20 they don't work good they're just
walking up with black arms in black legs
like you're to the en your combat plan
is to lock your legs lock your knees
because at at the time the military was
using what was the uh the 3030 carbine
that they tried to go to for a minute so
there was 30 car carbine 32 super maybe
38 Super or something like that stupid
little carbine they tried to switch to
right after World War II the parachut
world the M14 it's the parachute or M14
no M4 was 308 uh you talking about the
30 carbine yes right so it didn't have
enough ass to put these guys down what
was that called I used I us it in Day of
Defeat all the time it's literally
called 30 carbine it's got an M though
it's got a military Des carb yeah oh
yeah M1 carbine there it is anyways this
rifle didn't have enough ass to put the
these guys down with efficiently so the
US government's like well we need a
pistol we want to find wait this was
after no this is pre I miss spoke all
right uh this is like right after one
yeah um godamn it battle I'm sorry I pre
I I politely preact before the comments
on got him anyway so the United States
government wanted to do the study on
what was going to be the smallest pistol
cartridge that could kill a cow with a
single bullet where were they shooting
the cow uh in the head I believe they
did all kinds of studies and this was
like this was like highly controversial
to believe that 30 carbine couldn't do
that if I shot a c we can go to the
ranch right now I'll shoot a cow in the
head 30 car I have I have it in my
[ __ ] office we'll do it [ __ ] Brandon
why weren't you rolling I was doing a test
test
rule film it next time how much are
these cows worth they can't be worth
more than like four grand a piece they
they wanted around that could drop a cow
they decided they were going to go 45
ACP that's why I say it stands for anti-
cow projectile also anti plane
projectile C only pistol round was taken
out a plane before that also happened uh
so they decided they could kill cows
yeah they we'll go back to that okay um
it happened it did happen
so it can kill a cow in one shot then
the US government's like well what's it
going to do to a person so they took the
bodies of people that donated their
bodies to science and just started
[ __ ] shooting them with 45 ACP for
Science and it's like that's that's
probably not what they donated it for
but okay that's one of my favorite St
though it is that Grandma story it's
like I donated yeah it's like a
Grandma's B just like just a missile
just Bo and they found out yeah yeah no
they literally like strapped some
[ __ ] old lady who donated her body to
science to a Goddamn chair to a rocket
and [ __ ] Buzz Light eared her ass up
in the [ __ ] sky and exploded it and
the family found out about it later and we're
we're
pissed they're old ass Grandma I just
want to know that like they're just
getting like fried pieces of Granny all
over like [ __ ] Albuquerque or you
already know that was like this it's
like hold
on you get in the last bit of dug just
like getting her head right it's like
[ __ ] old dead [ __ ] won't stay on the
Rock the keeps like sliding godd damn
this just flying his the two dudes who
are being poorly
paid yeah exactly just government
contractors it's two privates at that
point they don't give sh [ __ ] piled
into the Afterlife is what you're
telling me can you imagine how Wild
documented history would be if we could
just go back in time and just give
soldiers starting in like iones World
War I just just camera phones to take
high quality pictures oh it' be amazing
hor it'd be I feel like it'd be bad be
idiots like bad they 100% are have you
seen that picture of the dude in the
Pacific a Marine in World War II and
he's just wearing a palm leaf on his
waist and that's it and a bazooka it's
like yeah you get to see all those war
war changes the men that fight it never
do just got a cigarette of bazooka
[ __ ] true caros Mor was it morock
Hathcock Hathcock Carlos ha best sniper
ever yeah he's doing Vlogs like low
crawling in be Behind Enemy Lines Just
hey guys this
Carlos yo guys thanks for all the
donations you boys crawling through
enemy territory yo [ __ ] we going live
right now okay so the enemy's out right
now we got that in my sides hit that
[ __ ] like button right now we turn
that camera okay Subs I'll hit him with
the 50 cal you know his nickname was
that you know his nickname
[ __ ] no no white feather you know why
yeah because he had a big ass white
feather that he would put in his hat to
go do counter sniper operations because
chance yeah he is the best sniper of all
time and that's gonna piss off the
internet because they're Bo what about
the white death s oh yeah he's great I'm
not bashing on him he's way better than
I'll ever be he's fantastic caros
hathcock's better yeah that's like me
the wife they called me infantry Soldier
118 I had no I didn't get a cool Indian
name what the [ __ ] homeboy he who shits
in porta potty all I got he's got he's
got 94 confirmed kills in
Vietnam in
in Vietnam to get a confirmed kill at
the point that he was in it had to be
certif it had to be seen by him his
Spotter and his commanding officer and
he still got 94 confirmed kills however
after about 40 confirmed
kills aot comes to you and says I got
three confirmed kills on that mission
you just write it down it's going in a
book yeah but the other issue though of
that happening is there's a an
investigations during Vietnam that had
to be backed as well like how they are
now today which was a h beginning
beginning of paperwork and then that
became the okay yeah it's true just sign
off on it and then when okay no so then
when it started to have to get document
people like no it didn't happen then no
it didn't happen so then like this
casualty poll of Vietnam which should
have been like X is like up here is like
actually down here cuz it's not truly
documented because people don't want to
do the [ __ ] paperwork right which is
why like the further you go back in
Warfare the more like the Casual DEC
count goes from like
we don't know in between like to the
thousandth person to the millionth
person we're like anywhere between like
38 and 56 million we're like Russian I
love Russian deaths are like 12 to 50
mil like so there's 3 million people you
just don't [ __ ] up this a big it's
not 12 to 13 million it's 12 to like 15
the man in front of you drops the rifle
you pick it up to be honest we didn't
know they existed before the war
um we're good now that's my least
favorite argument for World War II which
one well Russians won every like
everybody has like their argument for
like why their country won obviously
Allied side won but like everybody's got
to be like no my country won more
because XYZ the Russian one is like we
shed more blood I was like that's not a
good stat to quote from like look at
[ __ ] you're in you're the [ __ ] dude
you're in [ __ ] wood ELO right now
just bragging about your KD you are 30
million what they were oh my God how
many they killed what how many Germans
were lost during World War II and the
Russian front on the Eastern Front alone
dude I don't know it's
four two cuz I think the the overall
accepted stats what like it's it's like
54 million total like during World War
II right but a majority was Russian so
the k
it was like you're playing Team
Deathmatch right like yeah okay our team
W but you're at the bottom of the
scoreboard with a KD of like [ __ ] 08
like oh we won like no that's not how
this works they're the Modern Warfare
Lobby just screaming that they won and
yelling rro slur like man I don't know
if you guys won technically bad [Laughter]
[Laughter]
KD they were in bronze rank all right
let's be honest Germans had the best KD
but dude I I will I will give that war
to [ __ ] Germany all day long because
they [ __ ] they declared war on the
world and it was close they did really
good job they went in bro they're
small all
right put that down you don't start with
up yeah starting no good hey Eli huh you
ever just want to feel better than all
of our viewers everybody who listen you
ever just feel like you're a little bit
better than all of them yes me too so
now with established titles we
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Andor ladies if we have a guest on Who
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or a lady dude the Soviet Union lost
well okay I was gonna I I just realized
I defeated my own argument because I was
going to say like look at how fast they
conquered all of FR
oh they spread themselves if I can go
back to any point in time and hear any
conversation between any two people it
would be when Japan hold Germany oh by
the way we attacked America you [ __ ]
did what now yep yeah that was probably
I think everybody it's like the
beginning of uh what is that
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy like
widely regarded as a bad
move just across the board the alternate
history of if Japan never [ __ ] did
that no matter what like Jesus [ __ ] been
a smart America let it happened I got to
do the stat thing I've heard that one
Germany lost 8 million
Soviet Union lost 24 million that's a
[ __ ] KD they were just throwing people
at and that was two fronts on Germany by
the way that's not real that's not real
communism 3 to1 K they were at a one to
three ratio of dying damn son wait what
[ __ ] mathio three science no no like
think about it because Germany was split
between between two fronts oh they were
fighting on the Western and Eastern oh
that is true like four four million to
say like make it split 4 million versus
what 20 26 24 24
million that's one to six yeah yeah
that's a terrible it's incalculable
however played that map on Call of Duty
is cool the chart looks crazy yeah oh
you when you see those charts on like just
just
Mass Exodus of
life like man war is crazy man Germany
during World War II really just had a
bunch of bad [ __ ] Tactical like
political decisions like hey let's piss
off the US and Stalin you stal like they
did if they just never would have [ __ ]
with Stalin
fine that's [ __ ] wild wild United
States is like one of the
lowest oh yeah we did good we did
280,000 or
400,000 280,000 probably 200 something
th000 if you just look at the [ __ ]
chart Soviet Union up there at the top
yeah you're like Soviet Union China to
be fair we got into that war Indonesia I
I hear that argument all the time and my
response to that is America always shows
up late but every time America shows up
it ends yeah
that's every [ __ ] time we be [ __ ]
mom AKA Great
Britain looks at the kids you're [ __ ]
dad's home you're in trouble now and
then the war's over in will that work
for World War I and two no World War II
we showed up in what 41 GW really really
early 42 gwat we crushed it yeah well
your KD versus [ __ ] tusin Raiders over
here congratulations you're using
[ __ ] $20,000 nvgs against people
who've never [ __ ] heard of the internet
like what using night vision that done
bro we were talking about that yesterday
just the [ __ ] sh we used the [Laughter]
[Laughter]
moon [ __ ] Christ I hate it what what
were you going to
say kill me kill me please let me die
the tusin Raiders guy that was a
good I I'm so mad at uh the news lately
because all I've been getting on my like
news uh app is just articles insinuating
that Russia wants to invade Alaska what
it's the most absurd [ __ ] ever Newsweek
did an article that was titled roughly
this is what it was
titled Chinese and Russian warships
spotted a 100 miles off the coast of
Alaska cool cool you know what else is
55 miles off the coast of Alaska [ __ ]
Russia they went 45 miles in the other
[ __ ] Direction and you're trying to
play it off like it's World War II my my
brother in Christ you understand where Katka
Katka
is and then like you scroll to the very
bottom of the article oh we asked the
Coast Guard and they said quote they
didn't violate any rules or Norms this
is completely normal they've been here
the whole damn time I don't know what
you guys know about the Coast Guard
their entire job is to pretty much
follow Russian warships and say we
[ __ ] or not that's all they do not
going [ __ ] either we just going uh tell
someone else tell the Army tell the
Marine Corp yeah Co everybody sleeps on
the coast guard bro they banged on one
[ __ ] submarine caught it on video and
now they're the [ __ ] and everyone's like
oh msrt is the best bro we they are
[ __ ] that was a cool [ __ ] video Co
guard's great is great I love the co he
banged on that submarine really hard
dude so angry at that his hand yeah his
hand was hurt just your comparison
though is like the the whole thing is to
pull up on Russia and say like follow
their them around like oh we [ __ ] or
not and their response is usually I'm
tired yeah sleep not today please bro my
conscription is almost over please don't
those Russia would not do good in a war
no like the other thing is weird it's
like it's almost like we have data about
how well Russia does in a modern
war they don't do that good the other
thing is like like I know you guys are
this is [ __ ] Texas you guys are going
to get mad if I was like the tactician
involved in how to invade America Alaska
would be the last place that I decided
to try first but they they have the
biggest guns they have the most they
have they have literally I checked they
have the highest percentage of gun
ownership yep but lowest population
density yep most murders of women they
have they are the most violent they are
the most don't know a lot about Alaska
not just not just they're the most
violent state in America per capita
period by far yes nothing changes when
you invade they beat out Chicago and
Michigan you understand that for
violence they beat out CH the State
beats out
Chicago no that they beat out Chicago
out Illinois yeah yeah like I refuse to
believe Alaska beats out Chicago it's
like like they beat the Buccaneers every
t you get my
point that such a way with words okay
yeah I'm I'm on board again let's go oh
it makes sense no that was that was it I
just that's the worst state to ever try
to [ __ ] invade I it's [ __ ] giant
you have everyone and there's Bears it's
cold as [ __ ] it's all the [ __ ] I
wouldn't they have the highest
percentage of gun ownership but at the
same time they have the highest oil to gun
gun
ratio so like strategically let's say
you invade Alaska I doubt it's going to
go well but let's say it does then you
have to go through Canada before why
would stop there why wouldn't they first
of all so Alaska Alaska's already been
invaded we don't we okay Alaska's
already been invaded you know that right
most people don't know this World War II
yeah yeah yeah yeah okay invaded by the
Japanese oh yeah 3,000 Japanese was
brutal thing right that was like a
really like yeah America and Canadians
repelled them cuz that was like a very I
want to say I remember something about
that in flamethrower usage was really
I don't know about flamethrower was that
X game map I could be making this up
right now didn't one of the pilots Miss
and that's with the pilot that did
something in Oregon Portland say it was
a Japanese pilot that like shot up
something or something happened they oh
the the only us civilian casualties that
died were on the coast of Oregon the
fire bomb but that was a fire bomb okay
and then one Japanese soldier felt bad
about it came back to Oregon like gave
his family sword you read that story no
I haven't yeah okay you
yeah one dude like a Japanese dude is
like cuz he got off of the bombing run I
forget what happened well because I
think what they were doing is and I
could be totally like comment sections
going to rip me apart but what I think
it was was they were they were trying to
take advantage of like wind currents
across the Pacific and they set up
basically like you know those like
things yeah they they set that off to go
like do incendiary runs basically on the
west coast of the United States and we
never reported on it because we didn't
want them to know it was successful but
they were making it and it like blew up
a family on the picture pnic yeah I was
going to say only hit like one home yeah
those were the only us civilians to die
in World War II on so they were wait
they used the little the tea candle fire
thing I mean they made bigger ones but
it was that concept the the paper
lanterns and they'd let them go at this
certain spot and there's this air
current that travels very quickly from
Japan to the West Coast and these they
were just releasing thousands and
thousands of these paper lanterns hoping
that it would reach the West Coast some
of them were and the United States
government suppressed it in the news and
didn't tell anybody that way the
Japanese didn't find out that it was
working so they're like oh [ __ ] they're
not making it let's abandon the product
weeks
just I was going to say me meanwhile
there's a wartime meteorologist who's
just happy his job is useful for us why
are there not a reporting on the candas
well there was a current that like
[ __ ] them over and went and actually
landed in Japan no and like a few of the
lanterns landed homeside for Japan I it
just goes black and around like oh no
yeah like failed ones came back and I
think it was like two or three I don't
know if that's the number but I know a
number came back and actually hit them
and I was like Jaan was made of all all
of wood yes it's kind of like the CSS
Hunley have you guys ever like read into
that oh that was the first ever combat
submarine ever the Confederates built it
civil war was that where it's like the whiskey
whiskey
barrel on it it was it was a straight up
like no it wasn't
love how Nick quickly corrected me in my
stupid brain but it was it was a full on steel
steel
like shap
you I'm sorry
sorry [ __ ] history NCL it was
actually steel submarine like the whole
thing like it was it was like seven
dudes like uh paddle powered submarine
and uh like it technically was the first
submarine to ever in combat sink an enemy
enemy
ship however there were two that sank
before that and then that one sank after
it was done with its combat Mission so
you lost like combined total seven Cruis
a piece 21 great what year was this uh
1864 I would say Jesus Christ dude those
people anything that's on that next
Frontier it's like a submarine and
you're the first of the class it's like
we're going to find out how this works
we're going to make it work has to do it
no you're not you're gonna [ __ ] die
teally succeeded private come on it's
like it's the Marines every time well
it's like jumping out of a plane too
like when you like I think about that
the first dude that jumped out of a
plane he had no idea how his body was
going to stabilize in the air he just
and they're just like throwing people
out like I got this you jump out your
body's just like [ __ ] flailing about
you have no idea what's going on some
poor private from [ __ ] Georgia they
like yeah I'll do it I got it they said
this thing and catch me oh God have you
heard the story about the giras and the
Britain and the air being Airborne do
you guys know what giras are right yeah
the with the cool knives the cies right
so badasses um the there was a real
quick I love how this started
immediately with come and now we're in
like deep history talk it's my favorite
thing ever I love this podcast there's
this story where the turns we T girka
fight for the British Military and there
they went to this unit of giras and
they're like we're looking for some guys
to jump out of planes and they were
talking to like 200 giras and only only
five dudes volunteered and the British
commander is like what is happening like
these guys are supposed to be badasses
and don't fear anything what's going on
so they pulled their Commander up and
they're like and he he he explained what
it was they didn't realize that they
were going to get parachutes so those
five dudes volunteered to jump out without
without
parachutes those are the hardest
[ __ ] it's like you guys jumping out
out
planes those they
what what the [ __ ] Kevin makes sense Kevin's
Kevin's
[ __ ] they just got their Dear John
letters oh no oh she she's [ __ ]
over here we go brosis Jesus Christ d
That's [ __ ] terrifying hi baddy do
you like sex stuff I do too with the
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what better way to meet your neighbors
than like yeah box of dildos then you
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wants better sex us I don't know why yeah us right fluck
us I don't know why yeah us right fluck but that's the [ __ ] where you like
but that's the [ __ ] where you like [ __ ] you're just jumping out a
[ __ ] you're just jumping out a goddamn plane you have no
goddamn plane you have no idea the American Army there would be if
idea the American Army there would be if 200 people five of them if they're like
200 people five of them if they're like you're jumping out of planes without any
you're jumping out of planes without any context and there were no parachutes at
context and there were no parachutes at the time there's probably five you know
the time there's probably five you know it they'd be
like the thought process what's amazing what's amazing to
process what's amazing what's amazing to me though is like when we were doing
me though is like when we were doing those [ __ ] combat jumps in World War
those [ __ ] combat jumps in World War II like paratrooper jumps over [ __ ]
II like paratrooper jumps over [ __ ] Normandy right
Normandy right the plane had been around for less than
the plane had been around for less than Eli has been alive the airplane has
Eli has been alive the airplane has existed for less than that that's
existed for less than that that's [ __ ] true and terrifying it blows my
[ __ ] true and terrifying it blows my mind military drives all Innovation
mind military drives all Innovation pretty much though that's true yeah
pretty much though that's true yeah because they throw bodies at
because they throw bodies at technology that's a that's a weird
technology that's a that's a weird concept the parachute was at that time
concept the parachute was at that time around
around for a few years no parachute parachutes
for a few years no parachute parachutes preate plans
preate plans okay now you have my attention why did
okay now you have my attention why did we need parachutes I was going to say it
we need parachutes I was going to say it started with the dude jumping off we
started with the dude jumping off we didn't need him but like uh I'm pretty
didn't need him but like uh I'm pretty sure it's like Leonardo da Vinci had
sure it's like Leonardo da Vinci had sketches of the parachute parachutes
sketches of the parachute parachutes mean he also had stuff like of the no
mean he also had stuff like of the no but like I understand that but like no
but like I understand that but like no there were actual parachutes like for
there were actual parachutes like for jumping off of like I don't know if it
jumping off of like I don't know if it was [ __ ] or what but well because the
was [ __ ] or what but well because the idea of a lot of shit's been around for
idea of a lot of shit's been around for long I was going to say the idea and
long I was going to say the idea and concept there in sketches this is going
concept there in sketches this is going to be useful eventually I drew a lot of
to be useful eventually I drew a lot of [ __ ] when I was of these days have a
[ __ ] when I was of these days have a machine those little [ __ ] yeah I draw
machine those little [ __ ] yeah I draw all the things dude it's like patent
all the things dude it's like patent trolls in like early America that so
trolls in like early America that so wild it's just like SpaceX versus uh
wild it's just like SpaceX versus uh blue origin on the relanding rocket [ __ ]
blue origin on the relanding rocket [ __ ] damn yeah where he's just like Elon Musk
damn yeah where he's just like Elon Musk is like throwing a fit because blue
is like throwing a fit because blue origin like Jeff bezos's company was
origin like Jeff bezos's company was trying to patent the relanding rocket
trying to patent the relanding rocket he's like yeah no [ __ ] we've had the
he's like yeah no [ __ ] we've had the idea of a relanding rocket since Jules
idea of a relanding rocket since Jules Vern but the problem is [ __ ] figuring
Vern but the problem is [ __ ] figuring out how to do it
[ __ ] here's the [ __ ] issue body any [ __ ] four-year-old can draw it like
[ __ ] four-year-old can draw it like that's pretty [ __ ] easy the only
that's pretty [ __ ] easy the only reason like we have cars now is because
reason like we have cars now is because of Ford because like the original patent
of Ford because like the original patent trolls when automobiles were first
trolls when automobiles were first coming out like some [ __ ] patent
coming out like some [ __ ] patent troll before automobiles were a thing he
troll before automobiles were a thing he was like well we got carriages and we
was like well we got carriages and we got these new electric motor things I
got these new electric motor things I bet that's going to happen eventually
bet that's going to happen eventually and he got a patent for a carriage that
and he got a patent for a carriage that was driven by a
was driven by a motor he owned the patent to [ __ ]
motor he owned the patent to [ __ ] cars and then for there was a period of
cars and then for there was a period of like 20 years where every automobile had
like 20 years where every automobile had to pay a royalty to this guy that owned
to pay a royalty to this guy that owned this patent because he he didn't figure
this patent because he he didn't figure out how to [ __ ] do it he just had the
out how to [ __ ] do it he just had the idea and did the paperwork for it God
idea and did the paperwork for it God damn because it was an electric motor it
damn because it was an electric motor it was I think it was just a motor in
was I think it was just a motor in general it's like Tesla how Tesla got
general it's like Tesla how Tesla got [ __ ] out of a lot of [ __ ] you got so
[ __ ] out of a lot of [ __ ] you got so how patent trolls man watching a
how patent trolls man watching a Silicone Valley again I forgot how good
Silicone Valley again I forgot how good Silicone Valley is HBO show yeah when
Silicone Valley is HBO show yeah when you rewatch it and how good they're so
you rewatch it and how good they're so good at business and then just dumb [ __ ]
good at business and then just dumb [ __ ] everything leading up but Pat trolls
everything leading up but Pat trolls they have a whole episode on patent
they have a whole episode on patent trolls and the guys just like yeah I
trolls and the guys just like yeah I found this song it was [ __ ] close
found this song it was [ __ ] close enough to all these songs they releasing
enough to all these songs they releasing I just started [ __ ] buying out old
I just started [ __ ] buying out old Pat old songs and I threw the [ __ ] out
Pat old songs and I threw the [ __ ] out of C any artist and everything and
of C any artist and everything and they'd settle uh because they didn't
they'd settle uh because they didn't want to pay everything or go to court so
want to pay everything or go to court so that's how I made my money somebody uh
that's how I made my money somebody uh somebody just did a video because I
somebody just did a video because I guess whoever owns the the uh s and GTA
guess whoever owns the the uh s and GTA San Andreas theme song went and started
San Andreas theme song went and started copyright striking every YouTube video
copyright striking every YouTube video on YouTube that used their song for more
on YouTube that used their song for more than five seconds and now they're
than five seconds and now they're they're and they went for the revenue
they're and they went for the revenue split so there's like all these
split so there's like all these humongous videos that they're they're
humongous videos that they're they're just now getting all the revenue for
just now getting all the revenue for because because they have to also back
because because they have to also back terrifying Millions like there was a guy
terrifying Millions like there was a guy that did a whole video on it and they're
that did a whole video on it and they're they're rich now say copyright struck a
they're rich now say copyright struck a 9sec jingle dude Disney right now is cu
9sec jingle dude Disney right now is cu YouTube's not broken well Disney's about
YouTube's not broken well Disney's about to hit the 100 year cycle for Mickey so
to hit the 100 year cycle for Mickey so that's where you have those weird loss
that's where you have those weird loss cuz was it literally an act of Congress
cuz was it literally an act of Congress that stopped them from going into public
that stopped them from going into public domain yeah yeah literally because a lot
domain yeah yeah literally because a lot of songs you have old songs that's why
of songs you have old songs that's why you can use like uh Beethoven all that
you can use like uh Beethoven all that old [ __ ] but when you had Mickey coming
old [ __ ] but when you had Mickey coming up it's like oh yeah this is [ __ ] 100
up it's like oh yeah this is [ __ ] 100 years old this is going to go to public
years old this is going to go to public domain and Disney is like
domain and Disney is like no no correct me if I'm wrong but I
no no correct me if I'm wrong but I think it was 50 years last time it was
think it was 50 years last time it was at the 50 year mark was when it expired
at the 50 year mark was when it expired and then they they extended it it was
and then they they extended it it was literally an act of Congress they they
literally an act of Congress they they put a bill forward that extended it to
put a bill forward that extended it to 100 or some [ __ ] like that and 100 just
100 or some [ __ ] like that and 100 just happened yeah that's what was just
happened yeah that's what was just happening was the 100 year mark side
happening was the 100 year mark side note old Disney movies Who real good
note old Disney movies Who real good stuff a lot of
stuff a lot of RAC movies or cartoons
RAC movies or cartoons cartoons and movies they canell
cartoons and movies they canell completely one of my favorites was the
completely one of my favorites was the World War II Disney era dude with oh
World War II Disney era dude with oh [ __ ] Daffy Duck like you have Daffy
[ __ ] Daffy Duck like you have Daffy Duck Duck yeah Nazi Donald Duck and
Duck Duck yeah Nazi Donald Duck and you're
you're like go on and Co black Co Cole black
like go on and Co black Co Cole black and seven dwarves it was just like a it
and seven dwarves it was just like a it was a it was an ethnic copy of Snow
was a it was an ethnic copy of Snow White yeah but but my favorite joke in
White yeah but but my favorite joke in there was not the not the the racial
there was not the not the the racial jokes it was because it was during World
jokes it was because it was during World War II they had a they they hired a
War II they had a they they hired a Hitman on coold
Hitman on coold black and there was a car that was you
black and there was a car that was you know Hitman whatever uh adult male 10
know Hitman whatever uh adult male 10 bucks or whatever half
bucks or whatever half off Japs free oh my God bro n you're
off Japs free oh my God bro n you're young you have you watched some of the
young you have you watched some of the old oh yeah okay they go hard yeah they
old oh yeah okay they go hard yeah they go real hard you like yeah cartoons they
go real hard you like yeah cartoons they hit different in the 40s
hit different in the 40s different my favorite bit of trivia is
different my favorite bit of trivia is that Walt Disney was at his Peak during
that Walt Disney was at his Peak during this time he was not only alive he was
this time he was not only alive he was running the goddamn company oh yeah and
running the goddamn company oh yeah and he was like oh yeah
he was like oh yeah we send it this is what we do now and
we send it this is what we do now and you're like Walt Disney
godamn come I like like this whole podcast has
come I like like this whole podcast has literally just been we're going to be
literally just been we're going to be very very vulgar for the first five
very very vulgar for the first five minutes now that it's just the boys
minutes now that it's just the boys let's talk about history okay now it's
let's talk about history okay now it's just the boys now that it's just the
just the boys now that it's just the boys we're deep diving in Nick what
boys we're deep diving in Nick what lessons do we have to learn today dude
lessons do we have to learn today dude that [ __ ] actx story got me wait a
that [ __ ] actx story got me wait a story act
story act story say wait wait which one are
story say wait wait which one are you I because I just had a kid and I
you I because I just had a kid and I named him
named him cases oh yes Eli is very curious why I
cases oh yes Eli is very curious why I named my son that cashes cuz I was like
named my son that cashes cuz I was like oh the Cashes Clay thank you yeah but
oh the Cashes Clay thank you yeah but not the boxer there was someone else
not the boxer there was someone else before that the guy that all right
before that the guy that all right Muhammad Ali was named after all right
Muhammad Ali was named after all right you have my attention so he is the most
you have my attention so he is the most gangster politician of all
gangster politician of all time cases marcelius clay was a
time cases marcelius clay was a politician in the 1800s he was born on a
politician in the 1800s he was born on a plantation a plantation owner's son in
plantation a plantation owner's son in Kentucky grew up went to college decided
Kentucky grew up went to college decided that he did not like slavery at all went
that he did not like slavery at all went home freed all of his family
home freed all of his family right went home freed all of his
right went home freed all of his family's slaves to the cost of like it
family's slaves to the cost of like it was like $40,000 in value that he just
was like $40,000 in value that he just in the in the day or adjusted in the day
in the in the day or adjusted in the day adjusted for inflation I I was trying to
adjusted for inflation I I was trying to do the math it's like roughly 2 million
do the math it's like roughly 2 million is day that's a lot for Value I thought
is day that's a lot for Value I thought it was 40,000 today I was like that's
it was 40,000 today I was like that's like a a nice Mazda SUV Jesus like half
like a a nice Mazda SUV Jesus like half a
a truck $2 it's almost a how many how many
truck $2 it's almost a how many how many twitch Subs is that
twitch Subs is that so 2 million he releases he releases
so 2 million he releases he releases everybody then he starts a newspaper and
everybody then he starts a newspaper and becomes a politician he starts this
becomes a politician he starts this newspaper called I want to think it's
newspaper called I want to think it's either the true American or the true
either the true American or the true patriot is the name of the newspaper and
patriot is the name of the newspaper and he basically puts out information that
he basically puts out information that sounds like a white nationalist website
sounds like a white nationalist website now it does back then it was it was
now it does back then it was it was still pretty edgy but so he starts
still pretty edgy but so he starts pushing out like we're going to free
pushing out like we're going to free slaves obviously that's not very popular
slaves obviously that's not very popular in Kentucky in the 1800s what what 18 he
in Kentucky in the 1800s what what 18 he would have bombed his YouTube channel
would have bombed his YouTube channel you're it's
you're it's good don't quote me on the ears but so
good don't quote me on the ears but so he starts he starts a newspaper and he's
he starts he starts a newspaper and he's getting all these death threats he ends
getting all these death threats he ends up armoring he puts metal sheeting at
up armoring he puts metal sheeting at the front of the newspaper has a bunch
the front of the newspaper has a bunch of guns loaded and ready to go he has a
of guns loaded and ready to go he has a Canon at the top of the stairs oh he's a
Canon at the top of the stairs oh he's a full he's ready to get ambushed and he
full he's ready to get ambushed and he like he's not expecting his employees to
like he's not expecting his employees to fight he has an emergency exit on the
fight he has an emergency exit on the roof for his employees and he has the
roof for his employees and he has the entire building rigged up and ready to
entire building rigged up and ready to explode like he's going soloo dude's
explode like he's going soloo dude's ready to [ __ ] go about this who works
ready to [ __ ] go about this who works here so so he he transitions completely
here so so he he transitions completely into politics sir this is an apple
into politics sir this is an apple Beast what are you doing here they try
Beast what are you doing here they try to assassinate him he kills the Assassin
to assassinate him he kills the Assassin and both of his friends with a Bowie
and both of his friends with a Bowie knife the Assassin and the Assassin's
knife the Assassin and the Assassin's friends or his own friends no the
friends or his own friends no the Assassin and his two
Assassin and his two buddies like he's like
buddies like he's like boom I'm so hard right now Cody and Nick
boom I'm so hard right now Cody and Nick I'm sorry War gasm taking over this
I'm sorry War gasm taking over this story is way cooler now he's going to
story is way cooler now he's going to murder
murder boner so he kills he kills uh the
boner so he kills he kills uh the Assassin continues running uh as a
Assassin continues running uh as a politician he then solves most of his
politician he then solves most of his disagreements by duels and he's credited
disagreements by duels and he's credited with winning the most duel in North
with winning the most duel in North American
American history then he goes on he survives two
history then he goes on he survives two more assassination attempts killing the
more assassination attempts killing the Assassin each time and then he actually
Assassin each time and then he actually is supposed to be vice president for
is supposed to be vice president for Abraham
Abraham Lincoln Abraham Lincoln doesn't take him
Lincoln Abraham Lincoln doesn't take him because he's pushing Emancipation
because he's pushing Emancipation Proclamation to free the slaves way
Proclamation to free the slaves way harder than Abraham Lincoln wanted to
harder than Abraham Lincoln wanted to yeah okay so what what this was his
yeah okay so what what this was his first run for president yes so he's
first run for president yes so he's actually the reason that Abraham lincol
actually the reason that Abraham lincol did it as early on as he did he straight
did it as early on as he did he straight up bullied him into having to do it
up bullied him into having to do it earlier than he wanted AB Lincoln was
earlier than he wanted AB Lincoln was not actually very Pro anti-slavery right
not actually very Pro anti-slavery right he was Cashes marcelus Clay is the
he was Cashes marcelus Clay is the reason that he did it though like he was
reason that he did it though like he was his he was his same party opposition he
his he was his same party opposition he was he was running against Abraham
was he was running against Abraham Lincoln and his platform was freeing the
Lincoln and his platform was freeing the slaves and it was popular enough that he
slaves and it was popular enough that he had to do it to beat Cash's clay see
had to do it to beat Cash's clay see y'all [ __ ] over here are
y'all [ __ ] over here are actually learning a [ __ ] in this podcast
actually learning a [ __ ] in this podcast who would it other than [ __ ] ropes do we
who would it other than [ __ ] ropes do we start with Brandon's discount [ __ ] code
start with Brandon's discount [ __ ] code and we end here I need to make sure
and we end here I need to make sure that's actually correct I'm not 100%
that's actually correct I'm not 100% sure that's
sure that's right that's actually like 10% off 50%
right that's actually like 10% off 50% more
more I there you go that's a good that's a
I there you go that's a good that's a good little slogan damn that's why you
good little slogan damn that's why you make the big bucks Nick that's why I
make the big bucks Nick that's why I make the medium
make the medium bucks dude but like stories like that
bucks dude but like stories like that where you have the idea of have you guys
where you have the idea of have you guys read tweets from the 1800s or have you
read tweets from the 1800s or have you seen those Twitter account have I read
seen those Twitter account have I read tweets from the no Jesus Christ not
tweets from the no Jesus Christ not [ __ ] read tweets from the 1800s
[ __ ] read tweets from the 1800s there's accounts about everything on
there's accounts about everything on these and it's the most hilarious cuz
these and it's the most hilarious cuz it's like tweets if they existed at that
it's like tweets if they existed at that time and you're
time and you're like oh this is dope it's like YouTube
like oh this is dope it's like YouTube videos at that time Cash's clay would
videos at that time Cash's clay would have like how would his YouTube videos
have like how would his YouTube videos go during that segment how would they be
go during that segment how would they be like re they' probably be censored and
like re they' probably be censored and demonetized yeah man challenged my honor
demonetized yeah man challenged my honor he's dead so no number 14 he
also #4h it's always just like oh my God
#4h it's always just like oh my God crazy story today guys and it cuts to
crazy story today guys and it cuts to like a 3 second boom you're just like
like a 3 second boom you're just like like wiping blood off your face yo Vlog
like wiping blood off your face yo Vlog day number
day number 38 yo I'm pissed at my family you know
38 yo I'm pissed at my family you know what I'm going to do today [ __ ] free
what I'm going to do today [ __ ] free them slaves let's go cash a slave in the
them slaves let's go cash a slave in the house hey ashree the slaves let's get
house hey ashree the slaves let's get this [ __ ] rolling get that going on
this [ __ ] rolling get that going on Twitter an a just walking
Twitter an a just walking around that hash cashes cuck is trending
around that hash cashes cuck is trending on Twitter what's up that yo what the
on Twitter what's up that yo what the [ __ ] this man he having a duel with
[ __ ] this man he having a duel with the person that put Cash's [ __ ] he's
the person that put Cash's [ __ ] he's just shooting him in the I killed the
just shooting him in the I killed the guy that was the good old days you just
guy that was the good old days you just agree to shoot each other that's today
agree to shoot each other that's today we had today we have YouTube boxing
we had today we have YouTube boxing matches back in the day it was just
matches back in the day it was just YouTube duels and that YouTuber died
YouTube duels and that YouTuber died right there it was just gone if we could
right there it was just gone if we could just have Glocks or something it's like
just have Glocks or something it's like you want to do a duel oh we walk 15
you want to do a duel oh we walk 15 bases and turn around shoot with a Glock
bases and turn around shoot with a Glock yes all day long I feel like people
yes all day long I feel like people would get a lot less upset yeah there
would get a lot less upset yeah there would be be like I'm not going to be a
would be be like I'm not going to be a keyboard warri today not worth it going
keyboard warri today not worth it going to shut the [ __ ] up to there was there
to shut the [ __ ] up to there was there was a dual
was a dual key you just hit a key you you just duel
key you just hit a key you you just duel the person like
the person like yep okay we went extreme but like fist
yep okay we went extreme but like fist fight if there was a fist fight key not
fight if there was a fist fight key not to go to duel what if there's
to go to duel what if there's a yeah I mean I would do it still
a yeah I mean I would do it still there's a couple people online I'd be
there's a couple people online I'd be like I still like Tri you throw down the
like I still like Tri you throw down the handkerchief or whatever the [ __ ] like
handkerchief or whatever the [ __ ] like [ __ ] you tier one concealed I think the
[ __ ] you tier one concealed I think the Jar's really f shooting it's those guys
Jar's really f shooting it's those guys you don't know and you're like dual
you don't know and you're like dual button and then you're like scrolling
button and then you're like scrolling back really far and you're
like I didn't know Taran had a troll account that way you're just like this
account that way you're just like this guy is mildly upsetting to me duel like
guy is mildly upsetting to me duel like well next guy uh well I mean I guess I
well next guy uh well I mean I guess I kind of disagree with that
kind of disagree with that duel just cleansing my disagreements
duel just cleansing my disagreements from the internet you just watch that
from the internet you just watch that following dis the following disappear
following dis the following disappear one at a time it's like 448 446 I'm
one at a time it's like 448 446 I'm being Shadow banned godamn it no you're
being Shadow banned godamn it no you're just shooting all your followers those
just shooting all your followers those are your fans they just don't like what
are your fans they just don't like what you say sometimes he said I didn't like
you say sometimes he said I didn't like the new cinematography I had to kill
the new cinematography I had to kill that dude I so get your [ __ ] straight
that dude I so get your [ __ ] straight [ __ ] we'll duel
you one in chat if you want to duel Brandon we'll set it up oh God do it
Brandon we'll set it up oh God do it dang dude that will go way better than
dang dude that will go way better than boxing yeah
boxing yeah kill
people celebrity dueling dude celebrity dueling would be baller I want it to be
dueling would be baller I want it to be with bow arrow though I don't I think
with bow arrow though I don't I think it'd be way cooler with
it'd be way cooler with bows bow it would take forever do you
bows bow it would take forever do you have any how how unskilled people are in
have any how how unskilled people are in Hollywood exactly that's what we that oh
Hollywood exactly that's what we that oh my God you're on to something if we have
my God you're on to something if we have if you're looking at some of these
if you're looking at some of these YouTubers and you're like okay you put
YouTubers and you're like okay you put them in the middle of the
them in the middle of the Coliseum a buzzer goes
Coliseum a buzzer goes off they have to Sprint a hundred yards
off they have to Sprint a hundred yards a piece to their bow I Ros o
a piece to their bow I Ros o Donal and you have to get
Donal and you have to get that she ain't Sprint 100 yards anywhere
that she ain't Sprint 100 yards anywhere exactly it's getting that bow you know
exactly it's getting that bow you know they're like frustrated trying to hit
they're like frustrated trying to hit arrows they can't miss they're walking
arrows they can't miss they're walking closer to like trying to
closer to like trying to engage it is just talking about like
engage it is just talking about like recurve
recurve B they have no idea the only thing I
B they have no idea the only thing I thought of when you're talking about
thought of when you're talking about celebrities with this [ __ ] is
celebrities with this [ __ ] is Jennifer Lawrence dueling Harvey
Weinstein bet you wish I didn't have to [ __ ] learn with this real [ __ ]
[ __ ] learn with this real [ __ ] good [ __ ] to the nose [ __ ] to the
good [ __ ] to the nose [ __ ] to the nose [ __ ] Girl on Fire ain't taking
nose [ __ ] Girl on Fire ain't taking your [ __ ] no
your [ __ ] no more damn Ain taking your dick no more
more damn Ain taking your dick no more I'm gonna go pee on that note we'll
I'm gonna go pee on that note we'll start the after show everyone thank you
start the after show everyone thank you for coming to the unsubcribe podcast
for coming to the unsubcribe podcast please follow Mr Eli double tap Nico
please follow Mr Eli double tap Nico Ortiz
Ortiz Nick Fat electrician and Brandon Herrera
Nick Fat electrician and Brandon Herrera would you guys like to shout out
would you guys like to shout out anything can I get a shout out to follow
anything can I get a shout out to follow uh donut operator
uh donut operator also
also hi also these two like Nico and you know
hi also these two like Nico and you know okay after show bye love you if you want
okay after show bye love you if you want to watch the [ __ ] up [ __ ] we're going
to watch the [ __ ] up [ __ ] we're going to talk about on the after show please
to talk about on the after show please go to our patreon
go to our patreon patreon.com is it unsubscribed patreon
patreon.com is it unsubscribed patreon unsubscribe Nick is going to actually
unsubscribe Nick is going to actually have sex with Nico it's going to be
have sex with Nico it's going to be great yeah we're going to touch his Le
great yeah we're going to touch his Le it's going to be cool looking forward to
it's going to be cool looking forward to that part get ready for hand career not
that part get ready for hand career not trying to brag very strong I I could I
trying to brag very strong I I could I could probably squeeze Come From a Stone
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