The concept of "authenticity" at work is complex and often misunderstood; while being genuine is valuable, true effectiveness comes from strategically expressing the right aspects of oneself, considering context, competence, and impact on others, rather than simply "bringing your whole self."
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it terrified me absolutely terrified me
and it still terrifies me
mohammed al-aryan is an economist and he
gets a lot of requests to speak in public
public
no matter how often i do it the night
before i will not sleep
what is it that you're afraid of i'm
worried about
not being able to put a coherent
sentence in place i'm still worried
about it right now as i'm talking to you
last year he was asked to give a speech
about the global economy at a dinner in
new york
when he showed up muhammad found out
that the host had neglected to mention a
few things about the audience
the first one is they are precious metal
traders you know people who trade in one
of the most volatile
risky financial products out there which
means the attention span is
a few minutes at most and second he said
they've been drinking for the last hour
so they're a bit rowdy i said okay
is there something else he said yeah
just one more thing last year
the person who did it lost control
of the crowd and the precious metal
traders some of them got up with their
bread rolls and threw them on stage
they threw roles at the presenter they
did oh
were they at least soft rolls they were
soft rules
if someone tells you your audience is
drunk and might pelt you with food
you should probably call a cab but
muhammad who's jittery
even when things are going well who over
prepares for
everything did something different i
went on stage
and said i'm super anxious right now and
i've been told that last year
you got impatient with the speaker and
some of you picked up the bread roll
and through it in fact i'm not just
anxious i'm scared
in that moment muhammad didn't hide his insecurities
insecurities
he admitted them out loud sharing his
real feelings with the audience
when you're nervous about a big
performance whether it's a speech or a
job interview
people often say just be yourself
it's practically gospel in the world of
work advice these days
be authentic but what does it really
mean to be authentic
and is it always the right choice [Music]
[Music]
i'm adam grant and this is work life my
podcast with ted
i'm an organizational psychologist i
study how to make work
not suck in this show i'm inviting myself
myself
inside the minds of some truly unusual
people because they've mastered
something i wish
everyone knew about work today
authenticity and why bringing your whole
self to work
thanks to accenture for sponsoring this episode
for decades many workplaces expected
people to leave
parts of themselves at home don't show
your anxiety in a performance review
don't tell your boss what you really
think of her idea
and don't wear a hawaiian shirt unless
it's hawaiian shirt friday
but today in part thanks to the
popularity of self-expression in silicon
valley companies
there's a growing awareness that people
need the freedom to be themselves at work
work
to be authentic [Music]
[Music]
so i'm going to talk a little bit about
the power of authenticity and i was asked
asked
to speak about authenticity it kind of
feels like we're living in the age of authenticity
authenticity
i'm here to tell you that the world
needs your
authentic self-expression
it's a liberating mantra be yourself
don't worry about what
everyone else thinks this push for
authenticity is
awesome i'm being authentic i did not
rehearse this you're about to get 18
minutes of me unplugged
so what exactly is authenticity it seems
like there are about as many variations
on the concept
as there are people who use it here's
what it doesn't mean
being a fake or a phony it's being genuine
genuine
as a psychologist i think about
authenticity as erasing the gap between
what you think and feel on the inside
and what you share on the outside
and that can apply in a few different
realms sharing your genuine feelings
your opinions and your ideas
look there's good reason to value authenticity
authenticity
evidence shows that when you have the
freedom to express your thoughts and emotions
emotions
your energy soars and so does your effectiveness
effectiveness
and when you feel you can't be authentic
at work you're more likely to become stressed
stressed
and exhausted it can be stifling
if you're an entrepreneur pitching a
startup or a job candidate pitching yourself
yourself
pretending to be who you think others
want you to be can make you anxious
and hurt your performance you do want to
work somewhere that accepts your
authentic self
but expressing that self isn't always straightforward
straightforward
a while back psychologists conducted a
huge meta-analysis
a study of studies synthesizing data
from more than 20
000 people it turned out that on average
the more people focused on being
themselves at work the less successful
they were
for reasons were about to explore they
got lower performance reviews
and fewer promotions being authentic
has some landmines and i've developed
some guidelines about how to avoid
stepping on them let's start with one
kind of authenticity
emotional vulnerability letting people
see your real feelings
like muhammad with those metal traitors
we all get nervous
sometimes we're encouraged to fake it
till we make it
but muhammad chose to be real and
sprinkled in some humor too
i said i've been told that last year you
took the bread roll that you have in
front of you and threw it at the speaker
so let me tell you what i'm gonna do
i've asked the people sitting in the
tables right next to the stage
to serve as my human shield and it worked
worked
and i ended up speaking for 40 minutes
and there were lots of questions
can you tell i still remember it vividly
why did muhammad's authenticity resonate
with the audience classic and recent
experiments suggest that showing
vulnerability humanizes you
and people tend to like that but there's
a crucial caveat
it only works if you've already proven
your competence
you were impressive before but now
you're relatable too
for muhammad being authentic worked
because he had already established his qualifications
qualifications
the metal traders knew he wasn't just an
economist he'd been a wildly successful trader
trader
then the ceo of a big financial company
and the chair of president obama's
global development council
plus on top of his credentials muhammad
proved his competence in reading a room
with that joke about the front row being
his shield
if you haven't already demonstrated that
you're capable though
showing vulnerability can have the
opposite effect
take a recent study of lawyers
interviewing for jobs
focusing on expressing themselves only
increased their odds of getting a job offer
offer
if their resumes had already impressed
the interviewer
the only lawyers who benefited from
being authentic were the ones who'd been
ranked in the top 10
percent of candidates going into the interview
interview
and for lawyers in the bottom half of
the resume pool
striving to be themselves in the
interview decreased their chances of
landing jobs
this isn't unique to lawyers the results
were similar for teachers too
so this is guideline number one
authenticity without boundaries is careless
careless
be careful that the vulnerability you
choose to show doesn't cast doubt on
your competence
notice what muhammad didn't say he
didn't tell the group he was afraid he
would forget his material
or stumble over his words the fear he
expressed was about the audience
[Music]
when we hear be authentic many of us here
here
be more honest which is another way of
saying don't sugarcoat things
say what you really think that's another
kind of authenticity
being blunt with your opinions which you
see an awful lot on the internet
people seem to feel like they can say
nearly anything online
under the guise of just being authentic but
but
what happens when that kind of online
commentary is your job
there is one specific incident that kind
of haunts me
leah finnegan is a journalist in 2015
she was working at gawker
the notoriously irreverent gossipy website
website
it was a place where raw self-expression
online was rewarded and encouraged
it was leah's job to share her
unfiltered views
it was a company standard we felt like
we could do
whatever we wanted to and people would
respond to it and often they would the
more outrageous the article the more
clicks it received the better the
website performed and
on and on it was a perfect fit for how
leah saw herself
a salty who hated everything
and was very extreme in her opinions
usually those opinions were trashing
celebrity baby names or
articles in prestigious newspapers but
the problem was that's how leah treated everything
everything
online and off during union negotiations
at my company i
left a comment on a blog post saying
union suck dick that was something i
felt was
valid to express and you know i just
thought i was right
apparently leah's parents had had bad
experiences with unions
but obviously not everyone agreed with
her take
her comment got a lot of attention at
some point she googled her name
and she saw herself referred to as leah
union suck dick
finnegan that kind of haunts me
that i might have a legacy as a
union buster which is not great
in fact unions do a lot of good
and have been good for the digital media industry
industry
so i regret that
leah was just being her authentic self
it felt good in the moment
but over time the reactions from other
people got to her
well i was angry a lot of the time
because i didn't understand why
people didn't accept me as i was
online in real life that's when she got
a tip
be less authentic yes well that was
advice from my therapist
who i started seeing after i was like i'm
i'm
this way and no one is responding to it
the way i
want them to and it took a lot of
inner strength to pull away from that and
and
kind of be like i have to work on
portraying myself differently it was
kind of like
you need to think about how other people
see you and
it's not their problem if they see you a
certain way it's your problem
her therapist wasn't advising her to be fake
fake
but to avoid being completely
individualistic to think of others too
i think that has benefited my
life sometimes people get so absorbed in
expressing their own opinions
that they lose sight of how they affect
others in leah's view
focusing less on authenticity has made
her more effective
i think i've become a lot more some
might call it mature
in how i talk to people
you know because there are consequences
like you're just focused on being
yourself you're not focused on
anyone else it's common to think of
authenticity as something that's all about
about
me how do i express myself in the world
but other people have to be part of that equation
equation
authenticity can't exist in a vacuum i
found in my research that concern for others
others
is a critical ingredient for effective authenticity
authenticity
this is guideline number two
authenticity without empathy is selfish
i often hear people explain their
actions by saying well
i was just being myself that's not an
excuse for disrespectful behavior
sure we should be true to our values but
we might want to consider
others values too or as david sedaris
puts it
be yourself unless yourself is an
[Music]
one of the problems with the bring your
whole self to work framing is that it's narcissistic
narcissistic
what about taking an interest in the
other person
herminia ibarra is an organizational
behavior professor at london business school
school
she's a leading expert on authenticity
at work authentic
leadership which i actually traced in
the press
and kind of saw the line go up exponentially
exponentially
really has become a very popular
notion i think we kind of reached peak authenticity
authenticity
a few years back in the past when we
talked about authenticity
we weren't usually describing people the
original meaning
is from the world of art that which can
be authenticated meaning traced
back to the person who made it of their
own hands
and in leadership i think this really
came out of
the number of scandals that hit starting
in the 1980s and 90s
and that decline in trust in leaders
what is authentic what is real what is
true and therefore worthy of trust
early in her own career when she first
started teaching hermena struggled with authenticity
authenticity
i did really poorly for a number of years
years
and everybody was giving me advice about
what to do and of course
nothing fit and what what i was struck with
with
was the least helpful feedback was
just be yourself hermenia and of course
that was the worst feedback to get because
because
the problem was i was too much myself
you know too
introverted too nervous to academic to theoretical
theoretical
all of those things but when a colleague
suggested doing the opposite
that felt wrong too he literally said to
me you have to be a dog and go mark
your territory in each of the four
corners of that amphitheater
in her research armenia wanted to
explore how we adapt to new roles at work
work
so she launched a study of how young
professionals navigate career transitions
transitions
she didn't start out focusing on
authenticity but she quickly saw that
for the participants
finding their authentic selves was a big
challenge that was a study of
um how can young consultants and
investment bankers
manage the transition away from
doing analytical and project work to
actually having to be rain makers
and to manage relationships with clients
and so they had to
kind of put on an image of something
that they felt
they were not quite yet the bankers and
consultants were testing out what she called
called
provisional selves and it made some of
them uncomfortable
it was a real sense that this isn't me i
can't see myself that way i'm going to
have to find my own way through this
it was just really a major threat to
their sense of self
so they stuck to their existing
identities instead of trying new styles
of self-presentation that felt
unfamiliar to them
as a result they often struggled to
adapt to and excel in their new roles
but others embraced it they'd observe
their senior colleagues being assertive
with some clients while gently guiding others
others
and they'd experiment with those
provisional selves to make them their own
own
the most successful young professionals
in her study weren't worried about
staying true to themselves
they were striving to develop themselves
the knee-jerk reaction is i'm fixed this
is who i
am and this is not you know this is just
not within the realm of the possible
in the minute you say to people does
being authentic condemn you to being as
you always have been
they get it you know identity it's super
multifaceted it's made up of
traits roles emotions aspirations all of
these kinds of things
that's a key lesson here no one has just
one authentic self we have multiple selves
selves
think about all the identities you hold
at work your taskmaster self is probably
different from your mentor self
your presenter self and your conference
call self
and i hope it's different from your
drinks after work self
you get to choose which selves you
express in which situations
and those selves are evolving all the
time so as you move into new territory
it helps to test out different selves to
see what feels like you
that's what hermenia ended up doing in
her own teaching she tried out different
provisional selves
moving around the classroom more and
engaging students more in interactive discussions
discussions
it changed from being i have content to deliver
deliver
to i'm there to facilitate an experience
in which people are open to learning
engaged having fun and participating
and that was the result of trying these very
very
unnatural tactics and i learned
much more from it than doing anything
that vaguely approximated my sense of my
authentic self
at that point in time she started to
excel when she developed a style that
worked for her
so it's always a balance of what stays permanent
permanent
what's continuous what's core to who you are
are
and then what is that you're going to
grow learn
and discover we come to inflection
points in our lives
in which we say hey wait a minute i'm so
much more
than this and i want to give some
attention to that
yet for some people the effort to
develop and express their authentic
selves has extra landmines
more on that after the break [Music]
okay this is going to be a different
kind of ad i've played a personal role
in selecting the sponsors for this podcast
podcast
because they all have interesting
cultures of their own today we're going
inside the workplace
i meet a lot of people who are pretty
into their jobs
to gauge if they might be a little
obsessed i like to ask
where's the strangest place you've
checked your work email
the ski lift going up the mountain with
the winds and the snow that was blowing
at me
for some strange reason i i felt the
need to pull the phone out pull the
gloves off and and check the email
this is joanne mcmorrow a director at accenture
accenture
i think the chairlift phone check firmly
lands her in the category of engaged workaholic
workaholic
so much so that two years ago when
joanne began having some pretty odd headaches
headaches
she brushed them off i was working a lot
of hours i had two little kids there was just
just
work life my own health was probably
falling to the last of my priorities at
the time at the urging of her wife
joanne finally met with the doctor who
ordered some tests
when he came back with the results they
didn't need to tell me anything the
x-ray was actually sitting on the x-ray
machine and as
clear as day i could see the tumor the
tumor needed to come out right away
so joanne was rushed to the emergency
room for a craniotomy
when she woke up she wasn't only worried
about her recovery
at the time i thought i was going to
take a week off of work i know
major brain surgery a week off work
probably to anyone else would
seem ridiculous i was just feeling
guilty about taking that much time
because i had
no preparation to prep my team for this
to her boss and everyone else at accenture
accenture
that was ridiculous my boss really
was the one that sort of put in my head
you really need to
make sure you're taking care of yourself
and doing what's best for you
and you know it just so happens she was
right there's evidence that self-care
isn't just important for health
it's critical to maintaining energy and
performance too
accenture encouraged joanne to care for
herself as much as she did her job
joanne realized she needed to make a
change and once she returned to the office
office
people around her noticed a new joanne
her perspective
absolutely changed in terms of okay this
feels really important today
but in six months it's not going to feel
as important and let's make sure that
my health my well-being all of those
types of things
aren't being compromised because in six
months those things will still matter
that's joanne's boss stephanie winters mcconnell
mcconnell
no don't get me wrong joanne still works hard
hard
i'm definitely committed i'm dedicated
i'm driven
but i do so in a very intentional meaningful
meaningful
way she has always been a very
compassionate and empathetic person
but i saw a significant shift
in leading with that first
not just driving to get things done but
ensuring that along the way
she's taking care of herself but everybody
everybody
around her is as well
joanna is not only living a more
balanced life she's also encouraging her
team members to do the same
i lead some of my calls in a surprising way
way
and have everyone talk about what have
they done for themselves in the past week
week
not at work but what have they done for
themselves so
it allows us to hold each other
accountable and when her colleagues run
into trouble
joanne's there for them just like they
were for her
two weeks ago one of my direct reports
called me
to share with me that she had just been
diagnosed with breast cancer
and i just knew what we needed to do to
support her
and just on friday she sent me an email saying
saying
you know how grateful she is for the
support that she's gotten as she heads
into this
having that impact and knowing that in
sharing my story and changing the way
that i have
that you know we could be part of her
journey that she's about to go through
and that she feels that support that's
probably one of the most important
things for me
accenture is working to become one of
the most truly human companies in the
digital age
i used to describe myself as a heretic
because in a heretic i like the word
because it means someone
whose views are different from the
prevailing orthodoxy
and that certainly characterized me
carmen medina spent years as a heretic
not in a religious context but in a
place almost as strict
the cia i was never a spy
i i did travel to iraq
and afghanistan i think afghanistan once
in iraq
twice and riding
the helicopters at night open
helicopters by the way
flying at rooftop level to get from the
airport to the green zone
i thought was pretty exciting and not
what i expected to be doing
when i was a little kid carmen had
already worked for the cia for more than
a decade when the cold war ended in 1989
and the agencies started undergoing a
tectonic shift
and i kept getting asked to serve on
task forces
explicitly about what should how should
the cia
change and modify itself what should be
the new strategic plan
now that this focus we had the cold war
is ending
so i'm thinking i'm on a task force like
this well clearly
they must want to know what i really
think and so
i would say in the task force what i
really think carmen was certain that this
this
newfangled thing called the internet
would transform her job
and her organization and she didn't hide
that belief
i am convinced that the internet is
going to change
everything about how knowledge
organizations do their work
and and i think it will be very
important for the ci to figure out
how they're going to adapt to digital technology
technology
i just thought that you know the oceans
would part and people would recognize
the wisdom of what i was saying
but all i got was resistance and kind of
evil stares
the internet was about open information and
and
sharing information and making
information freely available
this is another type of authenticity non-conformity
non-conformity
when you act differently than your
organization's norms dictate
like swearing on a team that avoids profanity
profanity
publicly calling out errors in an office
that favors privacy
or quietly going home each night when
all your co-workers head to happy hour
sure you want to be authentic but what
happens when your authentic self
runs counter to the culture of your workplace
workplace [Music]
[Music]
carmen a natural heretic in an
organization that cherishes strict hierarchies
hierarchies
was about to find out a senior leader a woman
woman
came up to me and said carmen you're
just gonna have to censor yourself
you need to stop saying some of the
things you're saying you have a bright
career in front of you and you're gonna
ruin it if you keep talking like this
for a while carmen did censor herself
she suppressed the part of her that was
a heretic she created what's called a
facade of conformity
she put on a mask and pretended to align
with the cia's values
research shows that's a great way to
burn yourself out
and finally after nearly two years the
mask slipped
i'm just sick and tired of this all you
care about
is getting promoted and getting ahead in
the organization
and things the organization is headed in
the wrong direction and you just are not
gonna say anything
it was my authentic belief carmen
refused to conform
she couldn't let go of this idea that
the internet would change the cia
and she didn't adjust the way she
expressed her idea either
eventually the cia sidelined her nobody
would hire me i got the really
helpful feedback from someone uh who
did not choose me for a position he says
you know your reputation is that you're
cynical and negative
and i was like wow unfortunately the
pressure to conform can be
even stronger for members of
non-dominant groups
that might be true if you're a
salesperson in an organization dominated
by engineers
or a native southerner in a team of new yorkers
yorkers
or more fundamentally a woman of color
in a workplace run by white men
for carmen being a double minority
amplified the challenges of having
heretical views i recognized that the
only way i could survive at the cia
was that i had to give up
i had to drop some of the things that i
thought were really
important for me so yes in that sense
i became less authentic
this experience at the cia knocked the
authenticity out of carmen self-expression
self-expression
when other people dictate the terms of
your authenticity that's the definition
of inauthentic
just ask alicia menendez it's happened
to her multiple times
i was told that i needed to
liven up my look and get some t-shirts
and some
leather jackets and wear the things that
the kids were wearing and
i was somehow supposed to to
become that edgy hip
cool person instead of just being my you know
know
30-something dorky self alicia is now an
anchor at msnbc
and the author of the likeability trap a
book about the pressure women face
to be who other people want them to be i
sometimes get the sense
and other women i spoke with got the sense
sense
that when they were told be yourself
it wasn't be whoever that is it was
be who i expect that person to be
predicated on your gender your race
your ethnicity how old you are and then
show up as my imagined version
of who that ought to be there is
often a sense that i would benefit professionally
professionally
if i were less latina-ish liz lemon
and more to quote cardi b spicy mommy
hot tamale
you'd be like i need this but
smokier um
yeah did i tell you that yeah there is a
sense of how a latina is supposed to self-present
self-present
and that can be a wild caricature now i
gotta say adam
i've also heard it from latinas on the
complete flip
where their english is accented and
they're told that they need to tone down
their latina-ness
so it takes lots of forms
if someone is pushing you to fit their
idea of your authentic self
especially if it's based on stereotypes
something has gone
very wrong i'm just curious i mean have
have you ever been sort of given the
sense that
you could be something other than the
way you are
no i mean every once in a while i get
suggestions like
but but that's more objective let's try
to get you to
to move and communicate more like a
normal person no one's ever told you how
to be more professor-ish
no i think what sometimes gets lost in
this conversation
when you talk to people who work at
companies that are telling them to bring
their whole selves to
work they often feel that the company
hasn't done the work necessary to
receive them
as they are and it even seemed to me
that sort of
the louder and the more insistent an
organization was
about bringing your host self to work
almost the less work they'd done
to make that actually possible people
who don't fit the dominant culture in an organization
organization
learn the hard way that they sometimes
have to hide their authentic identities
and ideas
they try to fit into that expectation
intentionally or subconsciously
even though it doesn't feel right let's
say the conformity pressure you're
feeling at work is about norms and values
values
not cultural stereotypes how do you
break through that pressure and get
heard when people don't want to listen
when you're a minority
however you might be a minority in an organization
organization
you're already a rebel to get her career
back on track at the cia
carmen medina didn't have to suppress
her identity as an original thinker
but she did need to build up her
reputation as someone committed to the mission
mission
and so this is guideline number three
authenticity without status
and trust is risky before you challenge
organizational culture
it helps to demonstrate your loyalty first
first
there's a special kind of status that
allows you to get away with non-conformity
non-conformity
in psychology it's called idiosyncrasy credit
credit
once you prove your value to your group
you earn a license to deviate from expectations
expectations
research backs this up a series of
experiments show that trying to wield power
power
before earning status tends to breed
conflict with colleagues and superiors
when carmen tried to voice her authentic
ideas she hadn't accumulated enough
idiosyncrasy credit
to fight the status quo at the cia in
order to turn things around
carmen had to show that she was
dedicated to the mission [Music]
[Music]
one day she came across a cia role
focused on keeping classified
publications secure
one she could excel at and i went that's it
it
if i can just perform the other duties
really really well
then maybe i will get a chance to explore
explore
what's really my passion carmen saw an
opportunity to earn some idiosyncrasy credit
credit
by demonstrating her value in the new
job she could show that she was aligned
with the cia's core values
and we nailed it i i think that that really
really
restored the or changed the
organization's view of me
and and restored it as a much more
competent person
and i now had authority and status
and so people were much more receptive
to my ideas
with that credibility under her belt
carmen also reframed
her heretical ideas as conforming to the
cia's values
so instead of standing on the soapbox
and saying
we have to be completely different or
we're going to die
you know which is what i did in the late 90s
90s
i think you need to say the organization
has this objective and i think
these ideas could help us achieve these
objectives more effectively
and i think you need to start there she
realized there was another part of her
authentic identity that she could express
express
she wasn't just a heretic who saw
problems she was also someone who solved them
them
i would describe myself as a change
agent i use that word
carmen had set herself up to have real influence
influence
after september 11 2001 her colleagues
were finally forced to recognize the
importance of speed
in sharing information carmen became a
major force in
ushering the intelligence community into
the digital era
enabling people to share ideas online in
real time
in a secure way across agencies she
ended up getting promoted
all the way up to deputy director of
intelligence at the cia
you're not going to win those battles
if you do a frontal assault every time
and sadly
for a lot of organizations
behaving in your authentic way
can be perceived as a frontal attack and
i just think that's
horrible but that
is still the world that we live in
look you shouldn't have to hide your
opinions and emotions at work
or your ideas and identities but it
doesn't hurt to reflect on the many
different selves that are already part
of who you are
and the selves you might become as you evolve
evolve
it makes sense to be thoughtful about
which ones you share and when where and
how you express them
after all you want to be authentic but
you also want to be professional
to set smart boundaries show empathy and
not just challenge norms
but earn the license to change them you
don't have to bring your whole self to work
work
i think effective authenticity is more
about bringing your best selves to work
the ones that bring out the best in
next time on work life you know 40
seconds of interaction
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measurable impacts on both people 40 seconds
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40 seconds ways to tackle loneliness
at work worklife is hosted by me adam grant
grant
the show is produced by ted with
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was produced by jessica glazer
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leighton brown
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special thanks to our sponsors accenture
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for their research thanks to patricia
hewland on facades of conformity
david day and deirdre schleicher on
self-monitoring elliot aronson and
colleagues on the prattfall effect
carrie gibson and colleagues on the
wrists of vulnerability dan cable and
virginia k on the double-edged sword of self-verification
self-verification
jonathan evans and colleagues on
self-deprecating jokes
edwin hollander on idiosyncrasy credit
and allison fergale nate fast and
colleagues on power without status [Music]
i hear a lot of leaders say be authentic
bring your whole self to work
what would you encourage them to say
instead don't use platitudes that's the
first thing i would say is don't
honestly authenticity also has a sense
of uniqueness
everybody and their brother has said
exactly the same thing
it's i'm not advising leaders to not be authentic
authentic
i'm advising them to maybe be a little
bit more original in what they want to
convey to others
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