jeans and so that teacher Mr given um ended up working out with me every day
ended up working out with me every day in high school and showed me how to work
in high school and showed me how to work out and he probably saw on some level
out and he probably saw on some level that I was some angsty teenager that
that I was some angsty teenager that felt angry about whatever and I during
felt angry about whatever and I during our workout sessions would be like this
our workout sessions would be like this guy said this to me like he you know you
guy said this to me like he you know you know like this bull whatever and I was
know like this bull whatever and I was like man I'm going to come back at our
like man I'm going to come back at our 10-year reunion and I was like I'm going
10-year reunion and I was like I'm going to show him I was like he's going to be
to show him I was like he's going to be working for me like blah blah blah blah
working for me like blah blah blah blah right
right and he's like no he's not and I was like
and he's like no he's not and I was like what do you mean I was like let me just
what do you mean I was like let me just have my moment he's like no he's not
have my moment he's like no he's not he's like and you're not going to do
he's like and you're not going to do that not if I have anything to say about
that not if I have anything to say about it when you come back for the 10 year
it when you come back for the 10 year reunion and I was like what do you mean
reunion and I was like what do you mean he's like because if you come back at a
he's like because if you come back at a 10-year reunion and say hey John like
10-year reunion and say hey John like everything I have look at me now he's
everything I have look at me now he's like the guy's going to laugh and be
like the guy's going to laugh and be like you did all of this to try and
like you did all of this to try and prove me wrong man I feel sorry for You'
prove me wrong man I feel sorry for You' and when he said that when he actually
and when he said that when he actually played out what my like Revenge fantasy
played out what my like Revenge fantasy was in real life I realized it looked it
was in real life I realized it looked it looked stupid yeah I looked like the
looked stupid yeah I looked like the beta in the situation right and
beta in the situation right and so he was like the only thing that you
so he was like the only thing that you can do is win so big that all of them
can do is win so big that all of them constantly compare themselves to you and
constantly compare themselves to you and then you'll forget they
then you'll forget they exist and he and that's when he said he
exist and he and that's when he said he said success is the only Revenge he's
said success is the only Revenge he's like it's not the best revenge he's like
like it's not the best revenge he's like it's the only one there's no other
it's the only one there's no other Revenge because everything else is petty
Revenge because everything else is petty everything else does show that you were
everything else does show that you were thinking about these people all day long
thinking about these people all day long which means they win by default he's
which means they win by default he's like all you can do is think about your
like all you can do is think about your goal and winning he's like and when you
goal and winning he's like and when you win that's when you become so big that
win that's when you become so big that they shrink into irrelevance you cast a
they shrink into irrelevance you cast a shadow that no one even can see them
shadow that no one even can see them behind you this is the Nuance I think on
behind you this is the Nuance I think on on the previous point when we were
on the previous point when we were talking about the toxicity of that fuel
talking about the toxicity of that fuel long term you can see me light up yeah
long term you can see me light up yeah yeah yeah well I think that when you
yeah yeah well I think that when you think about
think about um the activation energy of using the
um the activation energy of using the things that you don't like yeah you have
things that you don't like yeah you have to be careful that you're using them and
to be careful that you're using them and that they're not using you still and a
that they're not using you still and a lot of the time I get this and in my
lot of the time I get this and in my more juvenile moments I I see myself do
more juvenile moments I I see myself do this
this where I'll know that there's a game that
where I'll know that there's a game that somebody else that I don't like cares
somebody else that I don't like cares about yeah and I'll imagine myself
about yeah and I'll imagine myself playing that game to beat them so that I
playing that game to beat them so that I can Stick it to them right purely for
can Stick it to them right purely for the reason of sticking it to them let's
the reason of sticking it to them let's say that there's someone that really
say that there's someone that really cares about being in shape and I'm not
cares about being in shape and I'm not in as good shape as I have been in the
in as good shape as I have been in the past and I know that with muscle memory
past and I know that with muscle memory if you give me 18 months and a good
if you give me 18 months and a good amount of testosterone like the thing
amount of testosterone like the thing that they care
that they care about I would be able to make them feel
about I would be able to make them feel really bad about right okay so I would
really bad about right okay so I would hijack my own Direction yeah purely to
hijack my own Direction yeah purely to try and prove somebody else wrong in a
try and prove somebody else wrong in a desperate and somehow believe that
desperate and somehow believe that that's me taking control of my life are
that's me taking control of my life are you kidding me I'm allowing them to
you kidding me I'm allowing them to ventriloquize me yeah through pain that
ventriloquize me yeah through pain that they didn't even mean to give me
they didn't even mean to give me yeah the woman in the black dress uh the
yeah the woman in the black dress uh the black pill equivalent right well like
black pill equivalent right well like now it's like not even a distraction
now it's like not even a distraction from your main goal it's like I'm going
from your main goal it's like I'm going to make a new goal just to wrong this
to make a new goal just to wrong this person and then somehow make make up the
person and then somehow make make up the story that I'm in control of my life
story that I'm in control of my life when I'm I'm really just acting in
when I'm I'm really just acting in complete re action to this person and so
complete re action to this person and so in so doing in beating them at their own
in so doing in beating them at their own game they've already won by default yep
game they've already won by default yep because they got me to change the game I
because they got me to change the game I was playing forget about who won it's
was playing forget about who won it's like dude you were over there and now
like dude you were over there and now you're over here I see this with a lot
you're over here I see this with a lot of people I I I think that it
of people I I I think that it contributes to a lot more of why and how
contributes to a lot more of why and how people adopt societal Norms that the
people adopt societal Norms that the resentment that they have it's it's not
resentment that they have it's it's not just other people want this thing
just other people want this thing therefore I mimetically want to do this
therefore I mimetically want to do this thing too it's I know that other people
thing too it's I know that other people will respect me and my resentment will
will respect me and my resentment will feel Justified and manifest if I win at
feel Justified and manifest if I win at it and that's really compelling that's
it and that's really compelling that's like a motivational spit roasting coming
like a motivational spit roasting coming in from both ends and
in from both ends and it's it's really really powerful and you
it's it's really really powerful and you need to be careful I mean I think you
need to be careful I mean I think you know one of the really early blessings
know one of the really early blessings and I'll be hon like this is where I
and I'll be hon like this is where I think I was fortunate right like I I
think I was fortunate right like I I realized when I was about
realized when I was about 28 right um that I had been trying
28 right um that I had been trying really hard to beat I mean you'll notice
really hard to beat I mean you'll notice a common theme with a lot of my stories
a common theme with a lot of my stories but I have one Central person that I was
but I have one Central person that I was trying to prove for a very long time
trying to prove for a very long time which was my father um and we're on good
which was my father um and we're on good terms by the way because I always get
terms by the way because I always get that
that question but uh this was after I left
question but uh this was after I left and he disapproved of my whole thing and
and he disapproved of my whole thing and for five years we didn't talk very much
for five years we didn't talk very much and so he calls me up um to he says hey
and so he calls me up um to he says hey you're going to want to sit down for
you're going to want to sit down for this and I'm like okay what are you
this and I'm like okay what are you pregnant you know
pregnant you know um so and so he says I'm sorry and and I
um so and so he says I'm sorry and and I was like for what and he was like for
was like for what and he was like for everything right now mind you like he a
everything right now mind you like he a middle eastern father born in Iran to a
middle eastern father born in Iran to a middle to a middle eastern father there
middle to a middle eastern father there who was even more legit like when where
who was even more legit like when where my father was born women weren't allowed
my father was born women weren't allowed to drive cars cars came with drivers
to drive cars cars came with drivers with them when you bought them the
with them when you bought them the driver came with the car like he was
driver came with the car like he was born in a very different world like
born in a very different world like fathers don't apologize to Sons it just
fathers don't apologize to Sons it just it was it just wasn't that way and I
it was it just wasn't that way and I have a little bit more a little bit more
have a little bit more a little bit more awareness than I did then and I can see
awareness than I did then and I can see that now but for me I was
that now but for me I was like now you apologize you know what I
like now you apologize you know what I mean um and so rather than take it for
mean um and so rather than take it for the Olive Branch that it was uh I
said I didn't care about your opinion five years ago when I left and I was
five years ago when I left and I was like and I don't care
like and I don't care now and he was like well we'll see how
now and he was like well we'll see how long your success lasts and so could
long your success lasts and so could have been a really nice exchange ended
have been a really nice exchange ended up becoming pretty pretty ugly but the
up becoming pretty pretty ugly but the the main point there was that I wanted
the main point there was that I wanted to in the beginning like make as much as
to in the beginning like make as much as my father then it was make more than my
my father then it was make more than my father and then it was make more than my
father and then it was make more than my father had ever made in his entire life
father had ever made in his entire life and once I had achieved that I realized
and once I had achieved that I realized that as much as like it sounds terrible
that as much as like it sounds terrible to say this but like I was trying to
to say this but like I was trying to beat him at his
beat him at his game and and this is pretty alive in a
game and and this is pretty alive in a lot of a lot of Asian culture same thing
lot of a lot of Asian culture same thing making money is a big you know like when
making money is a big you know like when my dad would introduce somebody he'd be
my dad would introduce somebody he'd be like this is Sozo he makes this much a
like this is Sozo he makes this much a year like it so it was just really clear
year like it so it was just really clear like this is how much status someone has
like this is how much status someone has and so like it was really deep for me um
and so like it was really deep for me um but it was only when I realized that I
but it was only when I realized that I had won
had won at his game that I realized I never even
at his game that I realized I never even asked the question of like what game am
asked the question of like what game am I trying to win and I don't know how
I trying to win and I don't know how many people are actually trying to win
many people are actually trying to win at a game that they didn't even set the
at a game that they didn't even set the rules up for so many when they're in it
rules up for so many when they're in it and that's why I say like I think I was
and that's why I say like I think I was fortunate that I you know I hit a a
fortunate that I you know I hit a a really tough goal because my dad was is
really tough goal because my dad was is is a successful man um relatively early
is a successful man um relatively early on um but that that that exchange and
on um but that that that exchange and then think like and then reflecting
then think like and then reflecting black and feeling terrible about myself
black and feeling terrible about myself from like saying what I said that and
from like saying what I said that and then I was like
then I was like I I did everything that I've done to
I I did everything that I've done to this point to beat him beat my father
this point to beat him beat my father the man who actually raised me who tried
the man who actually raised me who tried to make me the best man I can and when I
to make me the best man I can and when I think when I really start thinking about
think when I really start thinking about it I'm like I like who I
it I'm like I like who I am he raised me so doesn't that mean
am he raised me so doesn't that mean that he might have been the perfect
that he might have been the perfect father and then that really messes with
father and then that really messes with me and so yeah so go ahead well it's
me and so yeah so go ahead well it's just it's hard to
just it's hard to think that the people you used to have
think that the people you used to have contempt for or distaste or hatred or
contempt for or distaste or hatred or whatever shaped you in a way that you
whatever shaped you in a way that you couldn't have been and I often think
couldn't have been and I often think about how the things I'm most proud of
about how the things I'm most proud of in myself are the light side of
in myself are the light side of something that I was so embarrassed
something that I was so embarrassed about so ashamed about um you know being
about so ashamed about um you know being an outcast as a kid meant that uh
an outcast as a kid meant that uh I love or I'm capable of being on My Own
I love or I'm capable of being on My Own Way Beyond how anybody else is yeah so
Way Beyond how anybody else is yeah so far beyond it I I can work on my own in
far beyond it I I can work on my own in solitude for an endless amount of time I
solitude for an endless amount of time I I can outwork anybody in solitude why
I can outwork anybody in solitude why because I
because I spent almost all of my time between the
spent almost all of my time between the ages of six and 16 in my bedroom
ages of six and 16 in my bedroom listening to audio tapes right listening
listening to audio tapes right listening to audiobooks and like throwing like a
to audiobooks and like throwing like a tennis ball against the wall or like
tennis ball against the wall or like playing with my like Mighty
playing with my like Mighty Mouse from Mars or whatever they were
Mouse from Mars or whatever they were called what was it called bik a ice from
called what was it called bik a ice from Mars that was it um and that was what I
Mars that was it um and that was what I did yeah so
did yeah so but all of that discomfort and all of
but all of that discomfort and all of the challenges that I went through there
the challenges that I went through there are the thing one of the things that I'm
are the thing one of the things that I'm so proud of myself on now okay so what
so proud of myself on now okay so what if I look back and I said well all of
if I look back and I said well all of the the
the the um the bullying that I went through and
um the bullying that I went through and the challenges of feeling alone and
the challenges of feeling alone and being on the outside of social groups
being on the outside of social groups meant that I developed such attenuation
meant that I developed such attenuation and attention and focus and an ability
and attention and focus and an ability to distill down what's happening
to distill down what's happening socially which is why I became one of
socially which is why I became one of the best club promoters in the UK for a
the best club promoters in the UK for a decade and a half right because for all
decade and a half right because for all of my school life I'd been obsessing
of my school life I'd been obsessing over how Alex wears his tie maybe that's
over how Alex wears his tie maybe that's why he has friends and I don't have
why he has friends and I don't have friends or the particular brand of shoes
friends or the particular brand of shoes that he's wearing or the like he carries
that he's wearing or the like he carries his bag on that shoulder and I car carry
his bag on that shoulder and I car carry mine on this shoulder because I couldn't
mine on this shoulder because I couldn't deconstruct why I didn't have friends
deconstruct why I didn't have friends and everybody else did right okay so
and everybody else did right okay so looking back would I have rather had the
looking back would I have rather had the friends right and had the brother or
friends right and had the brother or sister and not develop this skill I
sister and not develop this skill I can't split test life so I don't know
can't split test life so I don't know right but my life's ended up pretty good
right but my life's ended up pretty good and I'm happy with it so I need to not
and I'm happy with it so I need to not only look back at that stuff as
only look back at that stuff as something not to hate but something to
something not to hate but something to genuinely be thankful for and that
genuinely be thankful for and that is frankly something I'm still working
is frankly something I'm still working [Laughter]
[Laughter] through well yeah it goes It goes back
through well yeah it goes It goes back to the the first thing which is like the
to the the first thing which is like the most traumatic events that happen in our
most traumatic events that happen in our life you know they happen for us not to
life you know they happen for us not to us but when you expand the time Horizon
us but when you expand the time Horizon like those things and to be fair there
like those things and to be fair there are people who do have really crappy
are people who do have really crappy things happen to them and then it
things happen to them and then it destroys them and then that's it and
destroys them and then that's it and then they're just done and that's all it
then they're just done and that's all it is not everyone has like a moderate
is not everyone has like a moderate amount of childhood bullying and an only
amount of childhood bullying and an only child with like parents that care about
child with like parents that care about them or whatever because you were a
them or whatever because you were a child coping with the world with the
child coping with the world with the coping skills of a child I'm still
coping skills of a child I'm still largely that as an as an adult infant
largely that as an as an adult infant right and so um
right and so um but I think that I mean the keepy at
but I think that I mean the keepy at least for me you know my my key takeaway
least for me you know my my key takeaway from both both of these kind of stories
from both both of these kind of stories is more
is more that all of the all of the the negative
that all of the all of the the negative things that happen on the micro have the
things that happen on the micro have the opportunity if double down on to be huge
opportunity if double down on to be huge wins in the macro and sometimes in ways
wins in the macro and sometimes in ways that just a micro win would never have
that just a micro win would never have the ability to be doubled down on and
the ability to be doubled down on and become a a capital w win in the
become a a capital w win in the macro this is probably one of the
macro this is probably one of the heaviest hmer blows I think for today
heaviest hmer blows I think for today this next one this is a real anger
this next one this is a real anger tweeting great no it's not it's an
tweeting great no it's not it's an existential one oh fun you've already
existential one oh fun you've already achieved goals you said would make you
achieved goals you said would make you happy
happy yeah you've already achieved goals you
yeah you've already achieved goals you said would make you
said would make you happy Alex's notes to self
happy Alex's notes to self right
right um because we all know the happiness
um because we all know the happiness formula which is um when this happens
formula which is um when this happens I'll be happy right when X I'll be happy
I'll be happy right when X I'll be happy or if x I'll be happy um and so we you
or if x I'll be happy um and so we you know I I've set up that equation I'm
know I I've set up that equation I'm sure I know you've never set up this
sure I know you've never set up this equation for yourself in your life but
equation for yourself in your life but you know I I've set that up and I think
you know I I've set that up and I think that just serves as as my my biggest
that just serves as as my my biggest reminder um but it's also why I probably
reminder um but it's also why I probably am a pretty existential nihilist overall
am a pretty existential nihilist overall um because I I've had so much evidence
um because I I've had so much evidence that none of those things quote brought
that none of those things quote brought me joy but the things that we were
me joy but the things that we were talking earlier about anticipation being
talking earlier about anticipation being kind of the hot button on Pleasure y I
kind of the hot button on Pleasure y I feel like the hot button on Joy for me
feel like the hot button on Joy for me is what I'm doing right now so like I
is what I'm doing right now so like I haven't done the event yet right I
haven't done the event yet right I haven't I haven't given the presentation
haven't I haven't given the presentation but when I'm in the Rocky cut scene of
but when I'm in the Rocky cut scene of like of beating I'm not gonna say
like of beating I'm not gonna say beating the cow carcass I'll say it that
beating the cow carcass I'll say it that way um I trying to avoid certain words
way um I trying to avoid certain words anyways um that when I'm when I'm when
anyways um that when I'm when I'm when I'm when I'm putting that work in and
I'm when I'm putting that work in and doing the Reps like that's when I'm
doing the Reps like that's when I'm actually my most in flow and enjoying
actually my most in flow and enjoying myself the most and so it's actually a
myself the most and so it's actually a lie that I've been telling myself that
lie that I've been telling myself that like once the presentation goes well
like once the presentation goes well I'll feel good because in some ways now
I'll feel good because in some ways now I feel like when the presentation
I feel like when the presentation happens I'll be disappointed because I
happens I'll be disappointed because I won't get to do this anymore I'll have
won't get to do this anymore I'll have to find something else to pick as a
to find something else to pick as a Target so that I can get back into my
Target so that I can get back into my Rocky cut scene and so I think that that
Rocky cut scene and so I think that that that has taken some time and I've gotten
that has taken some time and I've gotten better at it I really do think I've
better at it I really do think I've gotten a lot better at it um at least
gotten a lot better at it um at least recognizing because the more the more
recognizing because the more the more times I've I've had ws and then realized
times I've I've had ws and then realized that right afterwards I felt nothing I
that right afterwards I felt nothing I had to think back of like what are the
had to think back of like what are the things that I enjoyed most in my life
things that I enjoyed most in my life and it's always in Pursuit and I'm like
and it's always in Pursuit and I'm like well then why don't I set something
well then why don't I set something really big really far so I can be in
really big really far so I can be in Pursuit for the longest period of time
Pursuit for the longest period of time possible and that's where I think a lot
possible and that's where I think a lot of people from the outside you know they
of people from the outside you know they cast their expectations of Life onto me
cast their expectations of Life onto me and say I wouldn't live my life that way
and say I wouldn't live my life that way you're always you're always working
you're always you're always working you're always doing these things but
you're always doing these things but it's like I'm actually always spending
it's like I'm actually always spending my time in Pursuit because in Pursuit is
my time in Pursuit because in Pursuit is my button for enjoyment well what about
my button for enjoyment well what about if it wasn't achieving the thing at the
if it wasn't achieving the thing at the end if the reason that you set yourself
end if the reason that you set yourself goals is exclusively to motivate
goals is exclusively to motivate yourself to enjoy the route toward those
yourself to enjoy the route toward those goals and I know that it's not the
goals and I know that it's not the destination it's the journey is kind of
destination it's the journey is kind of cliche and I think this is is slightly
cliche and I think this is is slightly subtly different which is that it's
subtly different which is that it's actually about setting the destination
actually about setting the destination without the destination you wouldn't do
without the destination you wouldn't do the journey yeah like the way that you
the journey yeah like the way that you set goals and then achieve them and the
set goals and then achieve them and the the dopamine and the the trigger that
the dopamine and the the trigger that you get um I often think about the
you get um I often think about the balance between like serotonin Chris and
balance between like serotonin Chris and dopamine Chris and I I don't even know
dopamine Chris and I I don't even know the difference between that it's like am
the difference between that it's like am I feeling sort of lovey and present and
I feeling sort of lovey and present and and and wanting to connect with people
and and wanting to connect with people or am I driving toward a thing because I
or am I driving toward a thing because I have a goal that's in front of me and
have a goal that's in front of me and I'm very sort of dopamine Chris a lot of
I'm very sort of dopamine Chris a lot of the time um but I genuinely think that
the time um but I genuinely think that if you remind yourself these are the
if you remind yourself these are the golden years like this right now yeah
golden years like this right now yeah this when you look back these will be
this when you look back these will be the golden years right when I had my
the golden years right when I had my health I had my full mental capacity I
health I had my full mental capacity I had control of my bladder I had all of
had control of my bladder I had all of the money that I needed to do the things
the money that I needed to do the things that I wanted to crush it with my
that I wanted to crush it with my friends to fly around America and film
friends to fly around America and film these podcasts or to launch this book
these podcasts or to launch this book that I spend all of this time on and you
that I spend all of this time on and you can even see it in the micro you can
can even see it in the micro you can even see it when you look back on stuff
even see it when you look back on stuff that you've done in your day-to-day
that you've done in your day-to-day business or when you what you did at
business or when you what you did at University what were the times that you
University what were the times that you enjoyed was it when success success came
enjoyed was it when success success came to you easily or was it when you stayed
to you easily or was it when you stayed up and ordered dominoes because you had
up and ordered dominoes because you had that project that needed to be in at 6:
that project that needed to be in at 6: in the morning and you ran an all
in the morning and you ran an all nighter and and John slept under the the
nighter and and John slept under the the table and and everybody ordered monsters
table and and everybody ordered monsters and then the next morning we got it done
and then the next morning we got it done what was good about that was it when you
what was good about that was it when you submitted it or was it the dominoes and
submitted it or was it the dominoes and the 3:00 a.m. sleep under the table
the 3:00 a.m. sleep under the table because I'm pretty sure it's
um but one of the things that really motivates me
motivates me or one of my most powerful motivational
or one of my most powerful motivational frames is thinking about the person that
frames is thinking about the person that I want to become as the destination and
I want to become as the destination and thinking like I want to be
thinking like I want to be bulletproof I want to be bulletproof in
bulletproof I want to be bulletproof in these ways I want to be bulletproof in
these ways I want to be bulletproof in my marriage I want to be bulletproof in
my marriage I want to be bulletproof in my business Etc and I think about that
my business Etc and I think about that man whoever I want him to be like we
man whoever I want him to be like we said hell is when you look at who you
said hell is when you look at who you could have been and realize that you're
could have been and realize that you're not that person and then I think if I
not that person and then I think if I were to make that man what would I put
were to make that man what would I put that man through to make him who he is
that man through to make him who he is like it wouldn't be easy times it
like it wouldn't be easy times it wouldn't be quick wins it wouldn't even
wouldn't be quick wins it wouldn't even be easy wins it would be the the toil
be easy wins it would be the the toil and the struggle of achieving and
and the struggle of achieving and reaching for
things that are right out of grasp that are right above my threshold and
are right above my threshold and continuing to do that to like lift the
continuing to do that to like lift the weight to build the muscle to break it
weight to build the muscle to break it down and do it over and over again
down and do it over and over again because like that's what creates the
because like that's what creates the character traits that are the man that I
character traits that are the man that I want to be and so when I'm going through
want to be and so when I'm going through those like really harder times I like to
those like really harder times I like to think of like looking in my mental
think of like looking in my mental mirror of like I'm making you I'm not
mirror of like I'm making you I'm not there yet but I'm making you and that
there yet but I'm making you and that has helped me get through some of the
has helped me get through some of the harder times and from a gratitude
harder times and from a gratitude perspective my my most powerful frame
perspective my my most powerful frame for gratitude has been thinking about my
for gratitude has been thinking about my 85-year-old self waking up as my
85-year-old self waking up as my 30-year-old
30-year-old self and all of a sudden looking at Lea
self and all of a sudden looking at Lea and be like man I remember when we were
and be like man I remember when we were this young and then looking out the
this young and then looking out the window and like man you know Vegas
window and like man you know Vegas wasn't even developed like there's no
wasn't even developed like there's no flying cars yet like man they were still
flying cars yet like man they were still used gas like this is so cool and I get
used gas like this is so cool and I get out of bed and I'm like and my elbows
out of bed and I'm like and my elbows don't hurt my knees don't hurt right
don't hurt my knees don't hurt right because I'm thinking about what my
because I'm thinking about what my 85-year-old self would think and you
85-year-old self would think and you know we're talking about whatever but it
know we're talking about whatever but it it it it allows me to enjoy the mundane
it it it allows me to enjoy the mundane in a way that I know that I would give
in a way that I know that I would give everything that I had when I was 85 to
everything that I had when I was 85 to enjoy again and it's just it's a it's a
enjoy again and it's just it's a it's a Trippy frame but like if you can think
Trippy frame but like if you can think like what would 8 85-year-old me would
like what would 8 85-year-old me would be like I'm just not my body doesn't
be like I'm just not my body doesn't hurt you know what I mean like I
hurt you know what I mean like I actually have energy like I can think
actually have energy like I can think clearly I don't have brain fog cuz I'm
clearly I don't have brain fog cuz I'm 85 right and that has been probably my
85 right and that has been probably my single most powerful frame on feeling
single most powerful frame on feeling grateful and allowed me to feel more
grateful and allowed me to feel more present at times when I start like when
present at times when I start like when I start to feel like I'm going through
I start to feel like I'm going through the motions and just like clicking in
the motions and just like clicking in the routine and just like day after day
the routine and just like day after day after day and they feel the same that's
after day and they feel the same that's been my biggest slowdown where I can
been my biggest slowdown where I can pull the reins and be like just and mind
pull the reins and be like just and mind you it lasts a few minutes but when I
you it lasts a few minutes but when I think back on the days where I where I
think back on the days where I where I use that frame the part of the day that
use that frame the part of the day that I remember was just a few minutes that I
I remember was just a few minutes that I use it so I did this episode with Sam
use it so I did this episode with Sam Harris a lot of people have problems
Harris a lot of people have problems with Sam Harris I found the time that I
with Sam Harris I found the time that I spent with him unbelievably enjoyable I
spent with him unbelievably enjoyable I sat opposite him and a couple of times
sat opposite him and a couple of times caught myself thinking I am having so
caught myself thinking I am having so much fun doing this and he said this
much fun doing this and he said this thing and I really wish that I'd asked
thing and I really wish that I'd asked him another question I should email him
him another question I should email him about it um I was talking about presence
about it um I was talking about presence and and the importance of presence and
and and the importance of presence and you could use it as a proxy for
you could use it as a proxy for gratitude and he said that what you're
gratitude and he said that what you're aiming to do is find small moments in
aiming to do is find small moments in the day when you just open up and
the day when you just open up and realize what's happening yeah right
realize what's happening yeah right Conor McGregor won the featherweight
Conor McGregor won the featherweight title twice because he won the interim
title twice because he won the interim MH because Aldo was injured right and
MH because Aldo was injured right and then he won against Aldo and somebody
then he won against Aldo and somebody asked him what are you going to do
asked him what are you going to do differently this time again before the
differently this time again before the Aldo fight that you didn't do against
Aldo fight that you didn't do against the me in the Mendes fight he says this
the me in the Mendes fight he says this time I'm going to be present and there's
time I'm going to be present and there's this photo of him and he's stood yeah
this photo of him and he's stood yeah like this at the weigh-in and you've got
like this at the weigh-in and you've got this entire yeah stadium in front of him
this entire yeah stadium in front of him and he stood like that he said the first
and he stood like that he said the first time he did it he couldn't remember it
time he did it he couldn't remember it because he was just yeah drowning in the
because he was just yeah drowning in the in in what was next yeah
in in what was next yeah and what I really loved that Sam said
and what I really loved that Sam said and I think that you know you look at
and I think that you know you look at somebody that's a master meditator or
somebody that's a master meditator or you set yourself High bars for what it
you set yourself High bars for what it means to be mindful and you realize that
means to be mindful and you realize that you can be present with a sip of a
you can be present with a sip of a coffee okay I can be present with this
coffee okay I can be present with this one sip of a coffee and then it like
one sip of a coffee and then it like sand in your hands or like trying to
sand in your hands or like trying to remember a dream it just evaporates
remember a dream it just evaporates right okay well what if your goal was
right okay well what if your goal was just to try and get five of those a day
just to try and get five of those a day yeah what if that was it what if being
yeah what if that was it what if being mindful was just five moments when you
mindful was just five moments when you allow yourself to be where your feet are
allow yourself to be where your feet are where your feet are underneath you and
where your feet are underneath you and then what if you tried to just string
then what if you tried to just string like two of those together five times a
like two of those together five times a day like just this first Sip and then as
day like just this first Sip and then as I put it down the view out of the window
I put it down the view out of the window oh my God like that's two things in one
oh my God like that's two things in one and then I can do that five times and it
and then I can do that five times and it it if I'd asked him I would have said
it if I'd asked him I would have said really is the path to just increase the
really is the path to just increase the frequency of the times that you are
frequency of the times that you are where your feet are underneath you uh
where your feet are underneath you uh and one other cue that I love that I got
and one other cue that I love that I got from an embodiment coach is the times
from an embodiment coach is the times when you see in your peripheral vision
when you see in your peripheral vision you're looking and the way that our
you're looking and the way that our vision actually works you're focused so
vision actually works you're focused so heavily on what's directly in front of
heavily on what's directly in front of you if there's ever a time when you see
you if there's ever a time when you see what's out here MH you realize that you
what's out here MH you realize that you it's impossible to see all of that and
it's impossible to see all of that and not be in the present moment because
not be in the present moment because You' naturally just opened yourself up
You' naturally just opened yourself up and I love that cue so during the times
and I love that cue so during the times when I'm doing things like that Sam
when I'm doing things like that Sam episode I'm like the next question and
episode I'm like the next question and there's millions of people watching and
there's millions of people watching and all this stuff and there's this guy in
all this stuff and there's this guy in front of me and he's super smart or
whatever this is cool just that one moment and that when I look back on
one moment and that when I look back on that episode that's what I enjoyed
that episode that's what I enjoyed that's what I enjoyed about it so I
that's what I enjoyed about it so I think that being where your feet are
think that being where your feet are underneath you and allowing yourself to
underneath you and allowing yourself to open up and stringing those together
open up and stringing those together largely allows you
largely allows you to enjoy being whilst you're in the
to enjoy being whilst you're in the process of
process of becoming it's also
becoming it's also interesting those moments you can
interesting those moments you can capture a moment independent from your
capture a moment independent from your surroundings because a lot of times
surroundings because a lot of times those moments you're not thinking about
those moments you're not thinking about the goal that you have the meeting that
the goal that you have the meeting that you have the the prep that you have to
you have the the prep that you have to do for some talk or some podcast or
do for some talk or some podcast or whatever it is and
whatever it is and I can't remember where I heard this but
I can't remember where I heard this but they were talking about Gladiator the
they were talking about Gladiator the movie and the film opens with this like
movie and the film opens with this like little bird on a bow right with like the
little bird on a bow right with like the the leaves and whatnot and then they
the leaves and whatnot and then they zoom out from that little bird on the on
zoom out from that little bird on the on the on the bow and it's this disgusting
the on the bow and it's this disgusting war scene right and so it's kind of like
war scene right and so it's kind of like micro macro micro um of how no matter
micro macro micro um of how no matter how tough whatever the moment that
how tough whatever the moment that you're going through is if you can just
you're going through is if you can just take a picture of the corner of the room
take a picture of the corner of the room and look at the beauty in that right of
and look at the beauty in that right of being present in that moment even if
being present in that moment even if it's the suffering right like you get
it's the suffering right like you get punched and you're spitting blood out
punched and you're spitting blood out but it's like this moment that you
but it's like this moment that you capture then all of a sudden like
capture then all of a sudden like everything Fades away and you are
everything Fades away and you are present and so it can take this what
present and so it can take this what would be a brutal war scene of death and
would be a brutal war scene of death and dismemberment and the thing that makes
dismemberment and the thing that makes it memorable is the zooming in on a
it memorable is the zooming in on a detail and so it's like if we're going
detail and so it's like if we're going if you feel like you're going through
if you feel like you're going through life too fast it's like just look for a
life too fast it's like just look for a detail whenever I wanted to try and get
detail whenever I wanted to try and get myself back into the present I used to
myself back into the present I used to have brain fog a lot in my 20s oh really
have brain fog a lot in my 20s oh really and maybe not brain fog maybe just the
and maybe not brain fog maybe just the clarity of my thoughts now is so much
clarity of my thoughts now is so much better than it used to I don't
better than it used to I don't know maybe I was hung over yeah that was
know maybe I was hung over yeah that was a big maybe it was just the drugs I
a big maybe it was just the drugs I don't know um but one of the things I
don't know um but one of the things I used to do I used to have this I still
used to do I used to have this I still have this BMW sat on my drive with a
have this BMW sat on my drive with a perforated steering wheel and I remember
perforated steering wheel and I remember that if I ran my thumbs across the
that if I ran my thumbs across the steering wheel and I really felt per
steering wheel and I really felt per really felt it do it with a leaf i' Pi a
really felt it do it with a leaf i' Pi a leaf up and I'd really feel the Sens of
leaf up and I'd really feel the Sens of the leaf I couldn't think about anything
the leaf I couldn't think about anything else you can only have one thought at
else you can only have one thought at one time you cannot think two things
one time you cannot think two things right you have a super computer inside
right you have a super computer inside of your head and it's got one megabyte
of your head and it's got one megabyte of ram yeah yeah so just think the one
of ram yeah yeah so just think the one thought we'll get back to talking to
thought we'll get back to talking to Alex in one minute but first I need to
Alex in one minute but first I need to tell you about surf shark VPN if you're
tell you about surf shark VPN if you're browsing the internet without a VPN it's
browsing the internet without a VPN it's like dancing in a muddy field without
like dancing in a muddy field without any shoes on you can do it but it's not
any shoes on you can do it but it's not good for you if you're using a public
good for you if you're using a public Wi-Fi network the internet admin can see
Wi-Fi network the internet admin can see all of the data going back and forth
all of the data going back and forth between yourself and the internet all of
between yourself and the internet all of this is protected with surf shock VPN
this is protected with surf shock VPN plus it gives you access to the entire
plus it gives you access to the entire world's Netflix Library any territory
world's Netflix Library any territory that you want if you're anywhere outside
that you want if you're anywhere outside of the US you can access way more Marvel
of the US you can access way more Marvel series and movies over here than you can
series and movies over here than you can in your domestic territory and if you're
in your domestic territory and if you're in the US maybe you could watch some
in the US maybe you could watch some Japanese anime or get access to The
Japanese anime or get access to The Inbetweeners best of all it's available
Inbetweeners best of all it's available across unlimited devices your laptop
across unlimited devices your laptop your iPad your phone even your smart TVs
your iPad your phone even your smart TVs and and there is a 30-day money back
and and there is a 30-day money back guarantee so you can buy it and try it
guarantee so you can buy it and try it for 29 days if you do not like it
for 29 days if you do not like it they'll give you your money back you can
they'll give you your money back you can get an exclusive offer from surf shark
get an exclusive offer from surf shark today 3 months free and that 30-day
today 3 months free and that 30-day money back guarantee by going to surf
money back guarantee by going to surf shark. deals slod wisdom that's surf
shark. deals slod wisdom that's surf shark.
shark. deod wisdom okay so this next one me and
deod wisdom okay so this next one me and you text each other pretty frequently
you text each other pretty frequently about we've seen this cool thing and
about we've seen this cool thing and someone's repurposed like one of the
someone's repurposed like one of the things that we've done which is cool and
things that we've done which is cool and it makes me feel good that things that
it makes me feel good that things that we've said or that you've said largely
we've said or that you've said largely uh get repurposed um this is something
uh get repurposed um this is something that hadn't happened before which is you
that hadn't happened before which is you misquoted
misquoted me but improved the quote so this was
me but improved the quote so this was like the human centipede of content
like the human centipede of content creation and then I named it okay so
creation and then I named it okay so this is fame's seesaw when you're on
this is fame's seesaw when you're on your way up everyone roots for you
your way up everyone roots for you because you remind them of their dreams
because you remind them of their dreams when you're at the top everyone tears
when you're at the top everyone tears you down because you remind them that
you down because you remind them that they gave up on them and you have one
they gave up on them and you have one which is for anyone who needs a reminder
which is for anyone who needs a reminder no one is going to hate on you for doing
no one is going to hate on you for doing worse than
worse than them and this is interesting because
them and this is interesting because kind of like the challenges you
kind of like the challenges you face in the beginning you don't have
face in the beginning you don't have anything to say no to therefore the
anything to say no to therefore the woman in the red dress is easy to say no
woman in the red dress is easy to say no to or there a fewer women
to or there a fewer women yeah this is a challenge that nobody is
yeah this is a challenge that nobody is going to give you any sympathy for yeah
going to give you any sympathy for yeah it's a very unique category of challenge
it's a very unique category of challenge because the total addressable market for
because the total addressable market for sympathy is basically zero
sympathy is basically zero because almost everybody is on their way
because almost everybody is on their way up and very few people are at the top
up and very few people are at the top and the people that are at the top are
and the people that are at the top are seen as having a degree of privilege
seen as having a degree of privilege that almost legitimates you twisting the
that almost legitimates you twisting the knife or you poking the finger this is
knife or you poking the finger this is how public figures can have normal
how public figures can have normal everyday people on Twitter say
everyday people on Twitter say unspeakable like heinous things to them
unspeakable like heinous things to them dehumanizing things because they do not
dehumanizing things because they do not see them as human they don't see them as
see them as human they don't see them as a person there is no person on the other
a person there is no person on the other side of this there is it's they're a
side of this there is it's they're a representation they're menery of of of
representation they're menery of of of ideas mhm therefore I can say whatever I
ideas mhm therefore I can say whatever I want to them because they're not they're
want to them because they're not they're not really a person but they are and the
not really a person but they are and the fact
that before there is any status associated with tearing you down no one
associated with tearing you down no one is incentivized to tear you down and you
is incentivized to tear you down and you haven't changed dude the ls Capaldi
haven't changed dude the ls Capaldi documentary I've watched this twice now
documentary I've watched this twice now know L Capal is the singer Scottish
know L Capal is the singer Scottish singer amazing dude really fascinating
singer amazing dude really fascinating story
story suffering a lot with mental health makes
suffering a lot with mental health makes this first album and billions billions
this first album and billions billions of streams World Tour phenomenal and he
of streams World Tour phenomenal and he playing songs that he wrote in 2017 and
playing songs that he wrote in 2017 and played in working men's pubs around
played in working men's pubs around Scotland the same songs go to number one
Scotland the same songs go to number one so not just that he's become better he's
so not just that he's become better he's the same guy yeah the same guy maybe his
the same guy yeah the same guy maybe his production's improved maybe his
production's improved maybe his recording quality is improved he's got
recording quality is improved he's got better mastering and his voice is voice
better mastering and his voice is voice coaching's got a bit better but he's
coaching's got a bit better but he's largely the same person he hasn't
largely the same person he hasn't changed and he has this this quote
changed and he has this this quote halfway through and it really spoke to
halfway through and it really spoke to me and he said Fame doesn't change you
me and he said Fame doesn't change you it just changes everybody around you
it just changes everybody around you yeah and
yeah and that when you're on your way up everyone
that when you're on your way up everyone roots for you because you remind them of
roots for you because you remind them of their dreams when you're at the top
their dreams when you're at the top everyone tears you down because you
everyone tears you down because you remind them that they gave up on them
remind them that they gave up on them that really yeah that spoke to me I
that really yeah that spoke to me I wrote an essay on this because I'm a
wrote an essay on this because I'm a psychopath yeah yep when I was a gym
psychopath yeah yep when I was a gym owner so a lot of people don't know this
owner so a lot of people don't know this but I got I got a writing scholarship in
but I got I got a writing scholarship in college like I was a vice president of
college like I was a vice president of the newspaper I was uh editor of the
the newspaper I was uh editor of the creative writing magazine so like I've
creative writing magazine so like I've been writing for a long time I enjoy
been writing for a long time I enjoy writing um and I wrote this essay I said
writing um and I wrote this essay I said I think the title of it was um everyone
I think the title of it was um everyone believes in the American dream until it
believes in the American dream until it comes
comes true and I remember because what had
true and I remember because what had happened was everybody when I when I was
happened was everybody when I when I was sleeping on the gym floor right like you
sleeping on the gym floor right like you know I was the I was the underdog and
know I was the I was the underdog and everyone you know my clients were all
everyone you know my clients were all like oh good for you you know you're
like oh good for you you know you're going after your dream they'd see my
going after your dream they'd see my blank kid in my pillow in the corner of
blank kid in my pillow in the corner of the gym and they knew I was sleeping
the gym and they knew I was sleeping there and it was evident you know I I
there and it was evident you know I I lived there um I didn't have a shower
lived there um I didn't have a shower didn't have a shower to go to the YMCA
didn't have a shower to go to the YMCA to go shower um and that everybody was
to go shower um and that everybody was like Pro me and then people would come
like Pro me and then people would come in they sign up like I'm gonna I'm going
in they sign up like I'm gonna I'm going to support you right and then within
to support you right and then within nine months I had hired people and I had
nine months I had hired people and I had a manager and I pulled up and I remember
a manager and I pulled up and I remember I walked in the lobby and all the same
I walked in the lobby and all the same the same people were like ah boss man's
the same people were like ah boss man's here oh you're you're not too good for
here oh you're you're not too good for us now right and I remember being so
us now right and I remember being so Jarred by the experience and I was like
Jarred by the experience and I was like you guys rooted for me and I was like
you guys rooted for me and I was like and now I I did what you said you were
and now I I did what you said you were rooting for me to do and that was when I
rooting for me to do and that was when I realized that people want you to do well
realized that people want you to do well but not better than
but not better than them
them and I was like I had gone from Underdog
and I was like I had gone from Underdog to the man and I was like when does that
to the man and I was like when does that happen and the litmus test of when it
happen and the litmus test of when it happens is depends on who the person is
happens is depends on who the person is cuz for the person who was working at my
cuz for the person who was working at my gym who you know was was a janitor or a
gym who you know was was a janitor or a cleaner it happened really quick right
cleaner it happened really quick right for the people who were more successful
for the people who were more successful uh it took longer and then you know the
uh it took longer and then you know the only people at the end who would still
only people at the end who would still root for me were the business owners who
root for me were the business owners who were doing way better than me right who
were doing way better than me right who were still members of my gym and so that
were still members of my gym and so that was a really interesting experience that
was a really interesting experience that happened when I was 23 and that was the
happened when I was 23 and that was the first time I went from Underdog to the
first time I went from Underdog to the person that someone would want to attack
person that someone would want to attack but I had a performance coach tell me
but I had a performance coach tell me this he said
this he said hatred
hatred isn't isn't something you avoid he said
isn't isn't something you avoid he said it is a requisite for Success he said if
it is a requisite for Success he said if you get no hate you are not
you get no hate you are not successful and for some reason that just
successful and for some reason that just like really stuck with me because then
like really stuck with me because then it just like rather than it being this
it just like rather than it being this thing that I was trying to avoid it
thing that I was trying to avoid it actually became a leading indicator or
actually became a leading indicator or an indicator that I was on the right
an indicator that I was on the right path in achieving things and so I think
path in achieving things and so I think that's why I mean I I I don't want to I
that's why I mean I I I don't want to I don't want to toot horns or anything um
don't want to toot horns or anything um but in terms of like
but in terms of like my ability to deal with the naysayers
my ability to deal with the naysayers and things like that I feel like I'm
and things like that I feel like I'm pretty good at it like it doesn't really
pretty good at it like it doesn't really bug me very much um and I think in large
bug me very much um and I think in large part it was because of how it's framed
part it was because of how it's framed at least how you know in this discussion
at least how you know in this discussion how it was framed for me early on which
how it was framed for me early on which is that no one hates you from
is that no one hates you from above and even you know even when I
above and even you know even when I think back about like the bullies and
think back about like the bullies and whatnot that you had earlier like even
whatnot that you had earlier like even in Middle School like there were things
in Middle School like there were things that I had that were going for me that I
that I had that were going for me that I couldn't recognize because of course
couldn't recognize because of course everything that comes easy to you are
everything that comes easy to you are things that they're easy to you so you
things that they're easy to you so you don't think that they're you know new or
don't think that they're you know new or interesting or or or cool and but like
interesting or or or cool and but like at the same time I was like i' Advanced
at the same time I was like i' Advanced a grade in multiple in multiple subjects
a grade in multiple in multiple subjects I had you know straight A I worked
I had you know straight A I worked really hard I was in shape right and I
really hard I was in shape right and I but I had these people who would hate
but I had these people who would hate but I I you know you internalize it but
but I I you know you internalize it but like now I can look back and be like
like now I can look back and be like it's kind of like the the parents who
it's kind of like the the parents who are like it's because she's into you
are like it's because she's into you right no it might not be say that way
right no it might not be say that way but but just thinking about it as an
but but just thinking about it as an indicator that the hate is actually the
indicator that the hate is actually the light that you're on the right path we
light that you're on the right path we spoke about this last time
that nothing is going to be worthwhile that doesn't come with an Associated
that doesn't come with an Associated amount of discomfort therefore when you
amount of discomfort therefore when you start to feel friends around you and the
start to feel friends around you and the people that you used to be able to speak
people that you used to be able to speak common language
common language with start to push back and start to
with start to push back and start to make the quips of oh not drinking
make the quips of oh not drinking tonight yeah oh you must be too cool for
tonight yeah oh you must be too cool for us
us now I know it hurts I know it
now I know it hurts I know it hurts that is the lead indicator not
hurts that is the lead indicator not even the lagging indicator that is the
even the lagging indicator that is the lead indicator that you are doing the
lead indicator that you are doing the right thing and a lot of people listen
right thing and a lot of people listen to this podcast I get messages from
to this podcast I get messages from people like hey man I'm a 22-year-old
people like hey man I'm a 22-year-old rugby player from the northwest of of
rugby player from the northwest of of the UK I live in Cumbria none of my
the UK I live in Cumbria none of my friends uh understand me I want to do
friends uh understand me I want to do personal growth I don't want to live in
personal growth I don't want to live in the UK uh and when I listen to Modern
the UK uh and when I listen to Modern WIS I fear less alone and it it it
WIS I fear less alone and it it it makes me tear up because I'm like
makes me tear up because I'm like like I see me in that person I see me in
like I see me in that person I see me in that
that and the it's so hard to reframe
and the it's so hard to reframe it the push back you are getting is the
it the push back you are getting is the indicator that you are doing the right
indicator that you are doing the right thing it is and if you can
thing it is and if you can reframe the distaste that you get from
reframe the distaste that you get from other people as the same as that because
other people as the same as that because they're projecting the things that they
they're projecting the things that they know they should be doing that you are
know they should be doing that you are doing that they're not
doing that they're not doing and you remind them of that and so
doing and you remind them of that and so it's that it's even so even though the
it's that it's even so even though the mountain that you're climbing is
mountain that you're climbing is actually a smaller one than the one that
actually a smaller one than the one that you ultimately want to climb you're
you ultimately want to climb you're actually at the top of their mountain
actually at the top of their mountain and so they start tearing you down so
and so they start tearing you down so like that's where the the Underdog Story
like that's where the the Underdog Story that we said at the very beginning of
that we said at the very beginning of this with the quote which is like on the
this with the quote which is like on the way up they root for you and then when
way up they root for you and then when you're at the top they trying to tear
you're at the top they trying to tear you down because you remind them of the
you down because you remind them of the dreams that they couldn't accomplish
dreams that they couldn't accomplish right and so you quitting drinking or
right and so you quitting drinking or you staying in to work on your side
you staying in to work on your side hustle or your project or the business
hustle or your project or the business that you want to launch the
that you want to launch the podcast that might be you might be at
podcast that might be you might be at the top of their mountain and so they
the top of their mountain and so they are tearing you down because now you
are tearing you down because now you remind them that they haven't done it
remind them that they haven't done it and it's purely a projection of them
and it's purely a projection of them onto you and it has nothing to do with
onto you and it has nothing to do with you and
you and that I hope that that Comforts someone
that I hope that that Comforts someone because what you said I think is like if
because what you said I think is like if you're going through that right now and
you're going through that right now and like and I promise you every single
like and I promise you every single person who wants to do something with
person who wants to do something with their life and has done something with
their life and has done something with their life has gone through the exact
their life has gone through the exact chapter that you're going through and
chapter that you're going through and it's the lonely chapter it's the chapter
it's the lonely chapter it's the chapter where you you're you don't fit in with
where you you're you don't fit in with your own friends but you don't have the
your own friends but you don't have the outcomes yet to fit into a new group of
outcomes yet to fit into a new group of friends and you're doing this thing
friends and you're doing this thing you're consuming content on the internet
you're consuming content on the internet you're you're doing these free tutorials
you're you're doing these free tutorials online to try and figure out how to set
online to try and figure out how to set up a podcast and where do I host this
up a podcast and where do I host this thing and then there and and and you're
thing and then there and and and you're going through this and you're like am I
going through this and you're like am I is this even worth it because you have
is this even worth it because you have no signs of success right but if there's
no signs of success right but if there's anything that you can take away from
anything that you can take away from what we're saying right now is that the
what we're saying right now is that the sign of success is the hate that you get
sign of success is the hate that you get along the way and what you can't do is
along the way and what you can't do is bend the knee to their hate and fit back
bend the knee to their hate and fit back into the Conformity because it's
into the Conformity because it's comfortable and it's warm because like
comfortable and it's warm because like in The Matrix when Trinity opens the
in The Matrix when Trinity opens the door when when Neo's about to go take
door when when Neo's about to go take the red pill and he wants to get out of
the red pill and he wants to get out of the car she says Neo you've been down
the car she says Neo you've been down that road and you know exactly where it
that road and you know exactly where it leads and I know that's not where you
leads and I know that's not where you want to be and then he closes the door
want to be and then he closes the door like right now now this moment that
like right now now this moment that you're going through is Trinity opening
you're going through is Trinity opening the door and being like you could go
the door and being like you could go back but then you'd have to remember
back but then you'd have to remember exactly what the reason was that you
exactly what the reason was that you decided not to go out to begin with just
decided not to go out to begin with just because you listen to this podcast and
because you listen to this podcast and you consume this content you're like I
you consume this content you're like I can do more than this like
can do more than this like because you are starting to live in some
because you are starting to live in some of that hell where you look in the
of that hell where you look in the mirror and you're like I can do more and
mirror and you're like I can do more and you start to see the person that you
you start to see the person that you could be and you're like this does start
could be and you're like this does start to feel like hell the reason that it's
to feel like hell the reason that it's uncomfortable and the reason that I do
uncomfortable and the reason that I do have sympathy for the people that see
have sympathy for the people that see this is is ignorance in some regards is
this is is ignorance in some regards is bliss as soon as you begin to posit an
bliss as soon as you begin to posit an ideal yeah you then begin to compare
ideal yeah you then begin to compare yourself to that ideal yeah and the Gap
yourself to that ideal yeah and the Gap in potential between you and the person
in potential between you and the person that you could have been begins to get
that you could have been begins to get more stuck and even the slightest
more stuck and even the slightest glimmer of wow I can I can read a book
glimmer of wow I can I can read a book or follow a course or listen to a
or follow a course or listen to a podcast and then work really really hard
podcast and then work really really hard on one thing and change the
on one thing and change the thermodynamics of my mind change the
thermodynamics of my mind change the texture of my own existence dayto day
texture of my own existence dayto day because I worked at a thing and now I
because I worked at a thing and now I understand nutrition you I know Kung Fu
understand nutrition you I know Kung Fu like I I understand nutrition or I can I
like I I understand nutrition or I can I understand how to sleep well okay as
understand how to sleep well okay as soon as you know that sleep is important
soon as you know that sleep is important and what you need to do to do it every
and what you need to do to do it every single night of bad sleep that you have
single night of bad sleep that you have is on you yeah yeah because before you
is on you yeah yeah because before you had the excuse that you're ignorant yeah
had the excuse that you're ignorant yeah and guess what now you're
and guess what now you're done every worthwhile goal is worthwhile
done every worthwhile goal is worthwhile because it has a cost associated with it
because it has a cost associated with it and so the cost that you're going
and so the cost that you're going through is what makes the goal
through is what makes the goal worthwhile to begin with because if what
worthwhile to begin with because if what you are were setting out to do were
you are were setting out to do were immediately available to you then it
immediately available to you then it would mean it would be immediately
would mean it would be immediately available to everyone which means it
available to everyone which means it wouldn't be worthwhile so the very fact
wouldn't be worthwhile so the very fact that it's difficult is why it is worth
that it's difficult is why it is worth doing and so like we can't resent the
doing and so like we can't resent the price tag of the shoes that we want to
price tag of the shoes that we want to buy we just have to make the decision of
buy we just have to make the decision of whether or not we want to pay
whether or not we want to pay it there's another real blow you don't
it there's another real blow you don't get very touchy feely with with like you
get very touchy feely with with like you know I live in Austin now so I'm like in
know I live in Austin now so I'm like in in the Psychedelic Mecca of the United
in the Psychedelic Mecca of the United States and people talk a lot about
States and people talk a lot about like trauma and and and Improvement and
like trauma and and and Improvement and stuff like that selflove is holding
stuff like that selflove is holding yourself to a higher standard than
yourself to a higher standard than anyone else does that's really
anyone else does that's really interesting to
me I think it's believing in the 85-year-old version of you who's exactly
85-year-old version of you who's exactly who you want to be and
who you want to be and then
then ruthlessly looking at the discrepancy
ruthlessly looking at the discrepancy between the the pittance of a human that
between the the pittance of a human that you are now compared to that man or that
you are now compared to that man or that woman and then step by step breaking
woman and then step by step breaking down the many differences and starting
down the many differences and starting on the first one and pulling the
on the first one and pulling the thread I love the idea that you know
thread I love the idea that you know truth Tru self-love a lot of the time is
truth Tru self-love a lot of the time is wrapped in
wrapped in acceptance and uh a degree of belonging
acceptance and uh a degree of belonging I reject this entirely I just want want
I reject this entirely I just want want to I just want to throw it out there
to I just want to throw it out there that doesn't surprise
that doesn't surprise me the idea that self-love is holding
me the idea that self-love is holding yourself to a higher standard than
yourself to a higher standard than anyone else
anyone else does you believing in you more than
does you believing in you more than anybody else
anybody else does is such a first principal way of
does is such a first principal way of looking at self-love okay
so I'm supposed to love myself I'm supposed to support myself and be my
supposed to support myself and be my biggest fan
biggest fan but I don't have the most belief in me
but I don't have the most belief in me so I'm supposed to have self-love but I
so I'm supposed to have self-love but I cap my own
cap my own potential have so many
thoughts so right off the bat even the concept of fan was something that I I if
concept of fan was something that I I if I was if if I was talking to 2013 2012
I was if if I was talking to 2013 2012 Alex I would have rejected that notion
Alex I would have rejected that notion not like the the concept of even being a
not like the the concept of even being a fan of myself was so foreign to me it
fan of myself was so foreign to me it wouldn't been real to me and so I'll
wouldn't been real to me and so I'll tell you what that
tell you what that internalized which was that I didn't
internalized which was that I didn't need to deserve success but I could
need to deserve success but I could still have it if I did the things that
still have it if I did the things that created success and so it felt like a
created success and so it felt like a cheat code where I was like I can
cheat code where I was like I can actually be a shitty person and horrible
actually be a shitty person and horrible and suck at everything but if I still
and suck at everything but if I still work out and I still eat this way I can
work out and I still eat this way I can still look this way even though I don't
still look this way even though I don't deserve it and that was like the first
deserve it and that was like the first it actually felt like I was like and for
it actually felt like I was like and for anybody who hates themselves you can
anybody who hates themselves you can hear me um that was like my first big
hear me um that was like my first big shade my first Solace my first foothold
shade my first Solace my first foothold that I started getting on successful was
that I started getting on successful was that I didn't need to deserve it I could
that I didn't need to deserve it I could still have it anyways and that was like
still have it anyways and that was like very empowering for
very empowering for me the other thing that you said about
me the other thing that you said about acceptance so there's this big movement
acceptance so there's this big movement around self-acceptance and I want to say
around self-acceptance and I want to say that I wholeheartedly reject
that I wholeheartedly reject it
it I you accept outcomes and you accept
I you accept outcomes and you accept circumstances you accept the fact that
circumstances you accept the fact that you were dealt whatever hand you were
you were dealt whatever hand you were dealt you accept that you're 58 you
dealt you accept that you're 58 you accept that you're black you accept that
accept that you're black you accept that you're a woman that's accepting you
you're a woman that's accepting you trying to rebel against that is you
trying to rebel against that is you trying to fight the universe and the
trying to fight the universe and the universe is going to win every time but
universe is going to win every time but in terms of you framing acceptance as
in terms of you framing acceptance as saying
saying that I am comfortable with who I am and
that I am comfortable with who I am and I cannot be better and I must be
I cannot be better and I must be satisfied with
satisfied with that is the biggest
that is the biggest embodiment a failure that I can imagine
embodiment a failure that I can imagine is that it's almost it's almost it's
is that it's almost it's almost it's almost egotistical to say that there's a
almost egotistical to say that there's a difference between saying I am good
difference between saying I am good enough and I am
enough and I am good so you could say I good enough for
good so you could say I good enough for my current state based on the work that
my current state based on the work that I've put into it but I could be better
I've put into it but I could be better and so
and so like you can accept that the work that
like you can accept that the work that you have done has created the outcome
you have done has created the outcome that you've created but you do not need
that you've created but you do not need to accept that the outcome that you've
to accept that the outcome that you've created is the end all be and the last
created is the end all be and the last outcome that you need to need to have
outcome that you need to need to have and so for me like the only version of
and so for me like the only version of acceptance that I have is that I accept
acceptance that I have is that I accept that the version of myself that I want
that the version of myself that I want to be is is so far from who I am that I
to be is is so far from who I am that I have this massive discrepancy that I
have this massive discrepancy that I have to overcome and then just breaking
have to overcome and then just breaking that down one step at a time and
that down one step at a time and thinking I don't I don't deserve to be
thinking I don't I don't deserve to be that man but I can still do the things
that man but I can still do the things that can create it and it also means
that can create it and it also means that I have to go through the
that I have to go through the circumstances that that would create
circumstances that that would create that man which means that if I have
that man which means that if I have unbelievable Big Dreams and big goals
unbelievable Big Dreams and big goals then I have to go through hard times
then I have to go through hard times it's like hate the hard times are a
it's like hate the hard times are a requisite for success and so if you're
requisite for success and so if you're going through hard times right now it
going through hard times right now it means that you're on the path to success
means that you're on the path to success and it's not that you're on the wrong
and it's not that you're on the wrong path it's the feeling of being on the
path it's the feeling of being on the right path and one of the things that I
right path and one of the things that I talk with with the CEOs in our portfolio
talk with with the CEOs in our portfolio company and I'm I'm going to bring it
company and I'm I'm going to bring it back one of our companies they were
back one of our companies they were struggling with growth big company and
struggling with growth big company and he was like I honestly the issue that I
he was like I honestly the issue that I have right now he's like I I don't know
have right now he's like I I don't know how many locations I can open every
how many locations I can open every month he's like based on the Casual
month he's like based on the Casual that's coming in and out and I was like
that's coming in and out and I was like this is kind of like the Morpheus free
this is kind of like the Morpheus free FR and I was like I need you to freeze
FR and I was like I need you to freeze this moment I was like the feeling that
this moment I was like the feeling that you have right now is that you are
you have right now is that you are missing a finance function is that they
missing a finance function is that they didn't have a good Finance leader and
didn't have a good Finance leader and you're like why is this relative to what
you're like why is this relative to what we're talking about I'll bring it back
we're talking about I'll bring it back which is that if it's the first time
which is that if it's the first time you're going through it you can't
you're going through it you can't recognize the science because you don't
recognize the science because you don't have anything to compare it to and so
have anything to compare it to and so hopefully listening to this podcast and
hopefully listening to this podcast and listening to other people not just you
listening to other people not just you know not me and Chris but like other
know not me and Chris but like other people who are even even more successful
people who are even even more successful whatever they can at least tell you what
whatever they can at least tell you what it tastes like they can tell you what
it tastes like they can tell you what the room looks like they can tell you
the room looks like they can tell you what the temperature feels like they can
what the temperature feels like they can tell you what it feels like in their
tell you what it feels like in their body so that when you are going through
body so that when you are going through it you can say okay I haven't been here
it you can say okay I haven't been here before but this sounds like ALU K this
before but this sounds like ALU K this sounds like a missing finance and that's
sounds like a missing finance and that's why having like and if you're in an
why having like and if you're in an early on stages and and and and you're
early on stages and and and and you're going through the like you're going
going through the like you're going You're consuming the free content and
You're consuming the free content and stuff it's like use this because the
stuff it's like use this because the most valuable thing you can get is the
most valuable thing you can get is the context of what the experience feels
context of what the experience feels like when you're going through it so
like when you're going through it so someone can describe to you their
someone can describe to you their experience so that you can relate it to
experience so that you can relate it to your present and be like okay I'm on the
your present and be like okay I'm on the right path yeah it's the feeling of
right path yeah it's the feeling of loneliness and uncertainty hang on what
loneliness and uncertainty hang on what if this what if this is a sign that I'm
if this what if this is a sign that I'm not supposed to be here what if this is
not supposed to be here what if this is a sign that I'm doing it wrong right and
a sign that I'm doing it wrong right and relinquishing
relinquishing that the if there was a big meta
that the if there was a big meta indicator that you're doing the right
indicator that you're doing the right thing doing what everyone isn't doing is
thing doing what everyone isn't doing is already probably the big the single
already probably the big the single biggest indicator that you're doing the
biggest indicator that you're doing the right thing like it's it's the if if if
right thing like it's it's the if if if I could wish nothing else on my child
I could wish nothing else on my child whenever I choose to have them in the
whenever I choose to have them in the future is that they have high agency
future is that they have high agency which is that they are they make
which is that they are they make decisions independent from the opinions
decisions independent from the opinions of other people and when we hear words
of other people and when we hear words like authentic and original and things
like authentic and original and things like that it's because the person starts
like that it's because the person starts at squ one and says well what do I want
at squ one and says well what do I want and then they start building from there
and then they start building from there I had a conversation with one of my one
I had a conversation with one of my one of my teammates um who runs our my
of my teammates um who runs our my LinkedIn and he said you know Alex it's
LinkedIn and he said you know Alex it's easy for you to always always a really
easy for you to always always a really great start great way to
great start great way to trigger really good
trigger really good please tell me more why do you go on he
please tell me more why do you go on he said it's it's easy for you Alex to
said it's it's easy for you Alex to create this personal brand he's like you
create this personal brand he's like you have so many interesting things about
have so many interesting things about you he's like you dress a certain way
you he's like you dress a certain way you act a certain way and he said it's
you act a certain way and he said it's different than everyone else does
different than everyone else does right and I
right and I said I don't think that's true I think
said I don't think that's true I think that everyone has a personal brand that
that everyone has a personal brand that is unique and different but everyone
is unique and different but everyone doesn't look that way because they
doesn't look that way because they conform to what what they think everyone
conform to what what they think everyone else wants them to look like and so the
else wants them to look like and so the fact that they are boring and they
fact that they are boring and they resent the fact that they're boring is
resent the fact that they're boring is because they are living out reflections
because they are living out reflections of what what they think everyone else
of what what they think everyone else wants them to do and so all you have to
wants them to do and so all you have to do is start at Square zero and be like
do is start at Square zero and be like what do I want CU I realized after I got
what do I want CU I realized after I got out of gym launch that I mean I dressed
out of gym launch that I mean I dressed a certain way for gym launch because I
a certain way for gym launch because I was the head of an entire community of
was the head of an entire community of gyms and it made sense for me to dress
gyms and it made sense for me to dress that way because I needed to I needed to
that way because I needed to I needed to look that part right but when I was at
look that part right but when I was at Ground Zero and I was like okay what do
Ground Zero and I was like okay what do I want and I thought about it for a long
I want and I thought about it for a long time and I was like well what would
time and I was like well what would 85-year-old me wear I was like
85-year-old me wear I was like 85-year-old me would wear probably the
85-year-old me would wear probably the most functional thing he could wear cuz
most functional thing he could wear cuz he just doesn't care what hiso look like
he just doesn't care what hiso look like he doesn't care what his shirt looks
he doesn't care what his shirt looks like he just wants to be comfortable and
like he just wants to be comfortable and so I just started trying all the things
so I just started trying all the things that I could possibly imagine for shoes
that I could possibly imagine for shoes shorts hats whatever to find the thing
shorts hats whatever to find the thing that I was like you know what this is
that I was like you know what this is the most comfortable and this allows me
the most comfortable and this allows me to do the most things in the most rooms
to do the most things in the most rooms without changing and so people then are
without changing and so people then are like man that's so unique but it it was
like man that's so unique but it it was actually just saying if I were to if
actually just saying if I were to if everyone was gone from existence what
everyone was gone from existence what would I do what would my work be right
would I do what would my work be right how would I dress who would I date
how would I dress who would I date that's a real one who would I date if no
that's a real one who would I date if no one else told me what they thought about
one else told me what they thought about it
it maybe someone different than you're
maybe someone different than you're dating right now and if the person that
dating right now and if the person that you would want to date isn't the person
you would want to date isn't the person you're dating right now and the person
you're dating right now and the person that you would want to date would never
that you would want to date would never date you then maybe rather than dating
date you then maybe rather than dating these mediocre mollies or mediocre
these mediocre mollies or mediocre mats you take the period of time you go
mats you take the period of time you go on the untrodden path you have people
on the untrodden path you have people reject you and say oh you're not coming
reject you and say oh you're not coming out tonight you're going to the gym
out tonight you're going to the gym again right oh I can't eat with us right
again right oh I can't eat with us right she's on a she's on a diet again how
she's on a she's on a diet again how long you going to stick with this one
long you going to stick with this one right because the thing is is that the
right because the thing is is that the stick to it it must itself is something
stick to it it must itself is something that you work on because if you started
that you work on because if you started diets and you failed you started working
diets and you failed you started working out and you failed if you just make it
out and you failed if you just make it longer every time before you fail you're
longer every time before you fail you're still making progress and you're still
still making progress and you're still doing something that everyone else isn't
doing something that everyone else isn't doing yeah and that is the biggest meta
doing yeah and that is the biggest meta indicator that you possibly can is if if
indicator that you possibly can is if if because everyone sucks like so many
because everyone sucks like so many people are mediocre like half of the
people are mediocre like half of the United States is in debt they don't even
United States is in debt they don't even have a do like they they're they're
have a do like they they're they're negative net worth and so like just
negative net worth and so like just saying different than that like the bar
saying different than that like the bar isn't High we talked about this dude go
isn't High we talked about this dude go for it I know I know go for it the bar
for it I know I know go for it the bar has never been set lower to separate
has never been set lower to separate yourself out from the pack never being
yourself out from the pack never being set lower and this is for you know the
set lower and this is for you know the black pill internet what black pill by
black pill internet what black pill by the way it is supposed to be One Step
the way it is supposed to be One Step Beyond The Red Pill to see that life and
Beyond The Red Pill to see that life and dating largely for men is there's an
dating largely for men is there's an uncomfortable reality that if you aren't
uncomfortable reality that if you aren't blessed with the right physical
blessed with the right physical attractiveness status or money uh LSM
attractiveness status or money uh LSM looks LM mess looks money status if you
looks LM mess looks money status if you don't have the right prerequisites
don't have the right prerequisites you're you're basically doomed you're a
you're you're basically doomed you're a genetic dead end and eat um yeah is
genetic dead end and eat um yeah is that a bad thing according to them I so
that a bad thing according to them I so okay I'm gon I'm gonna zoom out real
okay I'm gon I'm gonna zoom out real quick and I I know I know we're gonna go
quick and I I know I know we're gonna go on this so if we're looking at a species
on this so if we're looking at a species right let's look at deer right A lot of
right let's look at deer right A lot of people have deer in their backyard right
people have deer in their backyard right well what is natural is that one Buck
well what is natural is that one Buck inseminates 50 D and he competes with
inseminates 50 D and he competes with all the other deer and the reason for
all the other deer and the reason for that is because then it actually allows
that is because then it actually allows the quote Best genes to proliferate now
the quote Best genes to proliferate now best is determined by what actually
best is determined by what actually continues continues on getting
continues continues on getting perilously close to Eugenics here Alex
perilously close to Eugenics here Alex well I'm just talking about I'm just
well I'm just talking about I'm just talking about deer right I'm just
talking about deer right I'm just talking about deer if anyone I'm just
talking about deer if anyone I'm just talking about deer I'm not saying this
talking about deer I'm not saying this is what it should be but the the the
is what it should be but the the the point that that I wanted to make was not
point that that I wanted to make was not I think where everyone thinks I'm going
I think where everyone thinks I'm going with this which is that a lot of the you
with this which is that a lot of the you know the black whatever you just said
know the black whatever you just said right black pill um I would imagine are
right black pill um I would imagine are casting an expectation on the universe
casting an expectation on the universe that it shouldn't be this way why not
that it shouldn't be this way why not and this is exactly like the hater who
and this is exactly like the hater who says you're not going to amount to
says you're not going to amount to anything and the reason it hurts is
anything and the reason it hurts is because you're like what if they're
because you're like what if they're right and then like staring at the
right and then like staring at the mirror with that question of like what
mirror with that question of like what if they're right what if I am out of
if they're right what if I am out of shape what like because the thing is is
shape what like because the thing is is that like in order to be the top quote
that like in order to be the top quote 1% or even the top 10% shoot or even
1% or even the top 10% shoot or even just above average right you just need
just above average right you just need to not be overweight dude the ball you
to not be overweight dude the ball you need to not be overweight weight right
need to not be overweight weight right you need to be gainfully
you need to be gainfully employed the bar is so low the bar is so
employed the bar is so low the bar is so unbelievably low uh I got this idea I
unbelievably low uh I got this idea I got to I got to teach you about uh the
got to I got to teach you about uh the alpha history fantasy right modern men
alpha history fantasy right modern men who are angry at a world they feel has
who are angry at a world they feel has rejected them mistakenly believe that
rejected them mistakenly believe that they would have somehow done better in
they would have somehow done better in medieval times they are adamant that the
medieval times they are adamant that the chance of them being genas Khan is
chance of them being genas Khan is greater than the chance of them being
greater than the chance of them being Canon fod a peasant number 1, 373,000
Canon fod a peasant number 1, 373,000 whose flla was sacked and destroyed and
whose flla was sacked and destroyed and it's this wistfulness for the past and
it's this wistfulness for the past and dude I get it like if you feel lost and
dude I get it like if you feel lost and alone and like nobody understands you
alone and like nobody understands you and like you've been forgotten and
and like you've been forgotten and things shouldn't be this way guess what
things shouldn't be this way guess what they've always been this way and right
they've always been this way and right now the bar has never been set lower if
now the bar has never been set lower if you have the opportunity to sit down and
you have the opportunity to sit down and listen to me and Alex waffle on for
listen to me and Alex waffle on for three and a half hours you have the
three and a half hours you have the capacity the conscientiousness the
capacity the conscientiousness the wherewithal to be able to go out
wherewithal to be able to go out tomorrow and take one thing that you've
tomorrow and take one thing that you've hit from
hit from today this is this is something that I
today this is this is something that I wanted to get on to which which I think
wanted to get on to which which I think is important which is sorry avoiding the
is important which is sorry avoiding the mental masturbation you know we can do
mental masturbation you know we can do this thing and and like speed
this thing and and like speed quotes Into The Ether and like a like an
quotes Into The Ether and like a like an Uzi right just unloading all of these
Uzi right just unloading all of these different things and I think that a lot
different things and I think that a lot of people feel uh a general overwhelm of
of people feel uh a general overwhelm of indexing of information and oh my God
indexing of information and oh my God I'm I'm learning all of this stuff and I
I'm I'm learning all of this stuff and I don't feel like I'm making any progress
don't feel like I'm making any progress and I really wanted to try and cut
and I really wanted to try and cut through this at some point in the
through this at some point in the conversation today as well which is Tim
conversation today as well which is Tim Ferris has an idea called the good
Ferris has an idea called the good sticks okay I when I first started out
sticks okay I when I first started out on this journey of personal growth felt
on this journey of personal growth felt guilty because I didn't have a perfectly
guilty because I didn't have a perfectly curated Evernote external brain with
curated Evernote external brain with nested folders and all of my book
nested folders and all of my book summaries and I was supposed to keep all
summaries and I was supposed to keep all of this thing and how am I going to
of this thing and how am I going to remember it and blah blah blah five and
remember it and blah blah blah five and a bit years later people come up to me
a bit years later people come up to me and ask one of the most common questions
and ask one of the most common questions I get asked is how the do you
I get asked is how the do you remember all of the things that you
remember all of the things that you remember two things first off I don't
remember two things first off I don't remember anything that I don't care
remember anything that I don't care about and the second thing massive
about and the second thing massive amounts of exposure those are the only
amounts of exposure those are the only two things that are going on I've done
two things that are going on I've done 670 podcasts in five years for hours and
670 podcasts in five years for hours and all of the reading I had to do
all of the reading I had to do beforehand and all of the listening I
beforehand and all of the listening I had to do beforehand as well and I
had to do beforehand as well and I didn't stress myself about what I had to
didn't stress myself about what I had to remember so if you listen to this three
remember so if you listen to this three and a bit Hour
and a bit Hour podcast and you go they talked they said
podcast and you go they talked they said a lot of words there Alex said a lot of
a lot of words there Alex said a lot of words Chris said a lot of words what's
words Chris said a lot of words what's the one thing that you couldn't stop
the one thing that you couldn't stop thinking about and there may be nothing
thinking about and there may be nothing fair play we
fair play we failed if there's one thing that you
failed if there's one thing that you can't stop thinking about that story
can't stop thinking about that story about the kid from Cumbria that time
about the kid from Cumbria that time when Alex had to drive across the
when Alex had to drive across the country that's the thing that is the
country that's the thing that is the thing and allowing yourself
thing and allowing yourself to naturally select whatever the most
to naturally select whatever the most important learning is from the content
important learning is from the content that you consume
that you consume is the best way to work out what what is
is the best way to work out what what is going to resonate and it's the best way
going to resonate and it's the best way to act on it as well if you can't stop
to act on it as well if you can't stop thinking about it when you go to bed
thinking about it when you go to bed tonight and you can't stop telling your
tonight and you can't stop telling your friends about it in the morning and
friends about it in the morning and you've clipped it from this podcast or
you've clipped it from this podcast or any other podcast or any other book or
any other podcast or any other book or whatever whatever the thing is that you
whatever whatever the thing is that you keep sending photos of and you keep on
keep sending photos of and you keep on reciting to people and you try and tell
reciting to people and you try and tell your mom about it and she doesn't
your mom about it and she doesn't care that is the thing that you need to
care that is the thing that you need to work on and you don't need to do if you
work on and you don't need to do if you take half a thing from this podcast or
take half a thing from this podcast or any other podcast that and you work on
any other podcast that and you work on it for a month
it for a month you have made so much progress and do
you have made so much progress and do you understand how blessed you are to
you understand how blessed you are to have this opportunity you could have
have this opportunity you could have been born in the Middle Ages before the
been born in the Middle Ages before the Gutenberg printing press when they
Gutenberg printing press when they wouldn't even give you the Bible in the
wouldn't even give you the Bible in the common language so that you had to go
common language so that you had to go through the priest to be able to have a
through the priest to be able to have a relationship with God right now you can
relationship with God right now you can search for whatever it is that you're
search for whatever it is that you're dealing with find the greatest Minds on
dealing with find the greatest Minds on the planet listen to them and then the
the planet listen to them and then the next day implement it and you move not
next day implement it and you move not only yourself but you move the world
only yourself but you move the world around you you get to nudge yourself and
around you you get to nudge yourself and the rest of the world in a direction
the rest of the world in a direction that you want to go and you get to feel
that you want to go and you get to feel proud about it and it's within your
proud about it and it's within your control you have never been more
blessed there's a there's a quote that I want to that I want to hit here that I
want to that I want to hit here that I think would be relevant to we were just
think would be relevant to we were just talking about with the people who were
talking about with the people who were sad and alone and one of the one of the
sad and alone and one of the one of the biggest breakthroughs that I had from a
biggest breakthroughs that I had from a from a mental perspective was actually
from a mental perspective was actually defining emotions for what they are
defining emotions for what they are operationally so sad sness comes from a
operationally so sad sness comes from a lack of options or rather a lack of
lack of options or rather a lack of perceived options and that's why it
perceived options and that's why it feels like hopelessness because you
feels like hopelessness because you don't know what to do when I realized
don't know what to do when I realized that sadness meant that I didn't know it
that sadness meant that I didn't know it to do it meant that another way that I
to do it meant that another way that I could Define sadness was ignorance and
could Define sadness was ignorance and that is solvable and so whenever I feel
that is solvable and so whenever I feel sad now it's been my trigger to
sad now it's been my trigger to immediately think what do I not know
immediately think what do I not know what option do I not see because the
what option do I not see because the opposite of that is anxiety which is you
opposite of that is anxiety which is you have many options and you have few
have many options and you have few priorities looks you have many paths
priorities looks you have many paths that you could presume you just don't
that you could presume you just don't know which one and so being able to
know which one and so being able to operationalize what these emotions felt
operationalize what these emotions felt like so if you feel sad it just means
like so if you feel sad it just means that you need to go learn more and that
that you need to go learn more and that you can do and then all of a sudden the
you can do and then all of a sudden the learning more becomes the option and
learning more becomes the option and then you don't need to feel sad anymore
then you don't need to feel sad anymore and that was like one of the biggest
and that was like one of the biggest breakthroughs from my like mental health
breakthroughs from my like mental health or whatever you want to call it mindset
or whatever you want to call it mindset um that Set Me Free and I've taken a lot
um that Set Me Free and I've taken a lot of effort to try and operationalize
of effort to try and operationalize emotions so that I can
emotions so that I can either get out of them or lean into them
either get out of them or lean into them so like patience for example right I'm
so like patience for example right I'm only bringing this up because I think it
only bringing this up because I think it might be relevant to some people is that
might be relevant to some people is that most goals are attainable if you expand
most goals are attainable if you expand the time Horizon even enormous ones like
the time Horizon even enormous ones like you can do anything in 10 years you
you can do anything in 10 years you could walk to the Moon you could do
could walk to the Moon you could do there you go you can do anything and so
there you go you can do anything and so for me I am I would say a naturally
for me I am I would say a naturally impatient person like I tend to want
impatient person like I tend to want things immediately now and you know what
things immediately now and you know what you probably are too but once I def find
you probably are too but once I def find patience as figuring out what to do in
patience as figuring out what to do in the meantime it allowed me to control
the meantime it allowed me to control what I did because now like you and I
what I did because now like you and I are being patient for your stock
are being patient for your stock Investments right now as we're on this
Investments right now as we're on this podcast we're being patient for that
podcast we're being patient for that because we're doing things in the
because we're doing things in the meantime and so whenever I felt
meantime and so whenever I felt impatient and wanted to change course I
impatient and wanted to change course I had to just redefine what do I need to
had to just redefine what do I need to do today and if you are sad and
do today and if you are sad and impatient then it means that right now
impatient then it means that right now you need to learn what the option is
you need to learn what the option is that you need to go pursue and then that
that you need to go pursue and then that makes it very much under your control
makes it very much under your control and so step by step each of these
and so step by step each of these emotions over time I spent a lot of time
emotions over time I spent a lot of time trying to Define them out so that they
trying to Define them out so that they no longer control me and I know how to
no longer control me and I know how to solve them and then and then now it just
solve them and then and then now it just becomes a faster and faster muscle like
becomes a faster and faster muscle like oh I feel anxiety that means that I have
oh I feel anxiety that means that I have many options that I don't have
many options that I don't have priorities okay what's my priority and
priorities okay what's my priority and then all of a sudden what used to take
then all of a sudden what used to take days of anxiety and feeling this you
days of anxiety and feeling this you know frog in my throat was just oh I
know frog in my throat was just oh I need to make a list of all the things
need to make a list of all the things that I'm looking at which one's the most
that I'm looking at which one's the most important ignore the rest and then I'm
important ignore the rest and then I'm good and what you just take days takes
good and what you just take days takes minutes one of yours is
minutes one of yours is choosing the plan isn't
choosing the plan isn't hard doing the plan isn't hard sticking
hard doing the plan isn't hard sticking to the plan is hard Charlie Monger
to the plan is hard Charlie Monger said the money isn't made in the buy and
said the money isn't made in the buy and it's not made in the sell it's made in
it's not made in the sell it's made in the
the weight and that that like I just feel
weight and that that like I just feel like that's such an elegant way of
like that's such an elegant way of thinking about it it's like the hard
thinking about it it's like the hard part about the plan is sticking to the
part about the plan is sticking to the plan like the plan wasn't bad your first
plan like the plan wasn't bad your first plan was good because it's easy to go
plan was good because it's easy to go say I'm going to work out three days a
say I'm going to work out three days a week for the next year
week for the next year and it's a good plan good plan it's a
and it's a good plan good plan it's a pretty good plan and the interesting
pretty good plan and the interesting thing is that
thing is that like a mediocre plan that's stuck to
like a mediocre plan that's stuck to always outperforms an amazing and
always outperforms an amazing and perfect plan that you never stick with
perfect plan that you never stick with to begin with and I know this obviously
to begin with and I know this obviously from the fix Fitness world but applies
from the fix Fitness world but applies to everything and so like the stick to
to everything and so like the stick to it muscle is the one that you have to
it muscle is the one that you have to flex and that's why like if you're going
flex and that's why like if you're going through things you have especially in
through things you have especially in the earlier days like I remember I used
the earlier days like I remember I used to start and stop and start and stop and
to start and stop and start and stop and I try this thing I try that thing it's
I try this thing I try that thing it's normal because you haven't you haven't
normal because you haven't you haven't been reinforced enough of s with
been reinforced enough of s with something right but the thing is it's
something right but the thing is it's like you have to stick it out long
like you have to stick it out long enough that you get that first carrot
enough that you get that first carrot you get that first cookie and then all
you get that first cookie and then all of a sudden everything that you did to
of a sudden everything that you did to get there you're like oh more of that
get there you're like oh more of that will get me more cookies and that's and
will get me more cookies and that's and and then and then it just becomes this
and then and then it just becomes this self-perpetuating cycle and then you get
self-perpetuating cycle and then you get addicted to working yes and and and and
addicted to working yes and and and and then you do a launch to 500,000 people
then you do a launch to 500,000 people and you lock yourself in a closet six
and you lock yourself in a closet six hours a day for two years yeah that's
hours a day for two years yeah that's exactly that because I've been rewarded
exactly that because I've been rewarded in the past because the first time I
in the past because the first time I actually spent a lot of time on a
actually spent a lot of time on a presentation and I felt good when I
presentation and I felt good when I walked on stage and didn't feel anxiety
walked on stage and didn't feel anxiety I was like oh I want this every time
I was like oh I want this every time yeah and then I had this the second
yeah and then I had this the second thought which is the much scarier
thought which is the much scarier thought which is now I have to do this
thought which is now I have to do this every time this is the new bar this is
every time this is the new bar this is the new bar I want to round out
the new bar I want to round out something on that sort of black pill
something on that sort of black pill side which is if you listen to this and
side which is if you listen to this and you think must be nice or easy for you
you think must be nice or easy for you to say I get it like I I get it and if
to say I get it like I I get it and if you feel like there is something
that you can't get over some genetic societal cultural defect that
genetic societal cultural defect that means that you do not have the same
means that you do not have the same ceiling that you think that you should
ceiling that you think that you should or that other people appear to have I
or that other people appear to have I get it and the question I would ask is
get it and the question I would ask is what do you want like do you want
what do you want like do you want sympathy because I will happily give you
sympathy because I will happily give you sympathy I know what it feels like to be
sympathy I know what it feels like to be someone that has no belief in themselves
someone that has no belief in themselves and that believes that you are
and that believes that you are fundamentally a loser and that nothing
fundamentally a loser and that nothing is going to come to you and that you
is going to come to you and that you deserve for nothing to come to you I
deserve for nothing to come to you I understand what that feels like
understand what that feels like but what does that mindset get you like
but what does that mindset get you like fundamentally what does that mindset
fundamentally what does that mindset give you okay so let's say let's say
give you okay so let's say let's say that you have been dealt as difficult of
that you have been dealt as difficult of a hand as
a hand as possible and yeah and to quote you to
possible and yeah and to quote you to you I can promise you that there is
you I can promise you that there is someone who has had it worse and has
someone who has had it worse and has done it better I put this clip out a
done it better I put this clip out a while ago this like just random talking
while ago this like just random talking about a morning routine thing it was
about a morning routine thing it was pretty basic but it went
pretty basic but it went Interstellar and the real internet got a
Interstellar and the real internet got a hold of it you know like not your fans
hold of it you know like not your fans but like the real internet like the
but like the real internet like the general public internet got a hold of it
general public internet got a hold of it the most common comment was something
the most common comment was something along the lines of tell me you don't
along the lines of tell me you don't have kids without telling me that you
have kids without telling me that you don't have kids which is must be easy
don't have kids which is must be easy for you to say I have a daughter to get
for you to say I have a daughter to get in the get up in the morning I'm like
in the get up in the morning I'm like okay tell me what that mindset gets you
okay tell me what that mindset gets you genuinely tell me what that mindset gets
genuinely tell me what that mindset gets you it says I'm in a situation which I
you it says I'm in a situation which I cannot get over and there are things in
cannot get over and there are things in reality imposed on me which stop me from
reality imposed on me which stop me from doing something there is somebody out
doing something there is somebody out there who has three times as many kids
there who has three times as many kids as you and they still do it so what is
as you and they still do it so what is it that they've got like what is it that
it that they've got like what is it that they're doing have they got an unfair
they're doing have they got an unfair Advantage what is it tell
Advantage what is it tell me it's also if you take down if you
me it's also if you take down if you walk down the natural logic of that
walk down the natural logic of that statement who do you blame if you're
statement who do you blame if you're saying must be nice or tell me tell me
saying must be nice or tell me tell me that you don't have kids without telling
that you don't have kids without telling me that you don't have kids then does
me that you don't have kids then does that mean that you blame your child for
that mean that you blame your child for all the things that you don't have in
all the things that you don't have in life it's a tough tough weight to put on
life it's a tough tough weight to put on a kid because I mean I would hope that
a kid because I mean I would hope that they don't see that comment because then
they don't see that comment because then they'd be like wait mom dad like you
they'd be like wait mom dad like you didn't live out your dreams because I
didn't live out your dreams because I exist tough another one here a sequence
exist tough another one here a sequence actually that I love you don't have to
actually that I love you don't have to feel good about it you just have to keep
feel good about it you just have to keep going the feeling will pass but you will
going the feeling will pass but you will remain you are greater than your
remain you are greater than your feelings going to bed late and waking up
feelings going to bed late and waking up early to work for a few days won't kill
early to work for a few days won't kill you you're not going to burn out you're
you you're not going to burn out you're doing what it takes if you're one of
doing what it takes if you're one of those people that push work life balance
those people that push work life balance just remember the people who like
just remember the people who like working a lot don't care I've never
working a lot don't care I've never regretted trying harder at anything ever
regretted trying harder at anything ever hard times last long but an epic story
hard times last long but an epic story feels like a
lifetime nailed it yeah I just think when I look at you in particular
think when I look at you in particular and I I realize this during our second
and I I realize this during our second conversation at the start of this year
conversation at the start of this year the reason that people get confused
the reason that people get confused about your motivation and your workload
about your motivation and your workload is that they don't realize that the
is that they don't realize that the thing you do for work is the thing that
thing you do for work is the thing that you do for fun that's the fundamental
you do for fun that's the fundamental misunderstanding that people
misunderstanding that people have and because of that you're prepared
have and because of that you're prepared to work hard and working hard doesn't
to work hard and working hard doesn't feel like wasted time lots of people
feel like wasted time lots of people associate working hard with not making
associate working hard with not making progress therefore working feels
progress therefore working feels wasting so the idea that working hard
wasting so the idea that working hard doesn't make progress is one of the
doesn't make progress is one of the biggest farces that exists in humanity
biggest farces that exists in humanity because at the end of the day whatever
because at the end of the day whatever you amount to isn't going to matter
you amount to isn't going to matter anyways right and so if there is
anyways right and so if there is anything that's Eternal for us at least
anything that's Eternal for us at least as individuals it's going to be who we
as individuals it's going to be who we become in the process and so one of my
become in the process and so one of my favorite quotes is the work works on you
favorite quotes is the work works on you more than you work on it and so if you
more than you work on it and so if you want to be the best in the world at
want to be the best in the world at something you do the work to become the
something you do the work to become the best in the world and the work works on
best in the world and the work works on you and so I mean there's a there's a a
you and so I mean there's a there's a a Biblical proverb I think it says like um
Biblical proverb I think it says like um there is there is profit in all
there is there is profit in all labor and that means that even if the
labor and that means that even if the thing that you're working on right now
thing that you're working on right now doesn't amount to the outcome that you
doesn't amount to the outcome that you expected that it would it doesn't mean
expected that it would it doesn't mean that you don't become better through
that you don't become better through doing it and so I'll give you a very
doing it and so I'll give you a very real example so I spent five years
real example so I spent five years building a chain of gyms so I had six
building a chain of gyms so I had six locations
locations and after that I sold five of them I
and after that I sold five of them I shut one down and then I transitioned to
shut one down and then I transitioned to doing
doing turnouts in the transition between
turnouts in the transition between shutting my gyms down I got a big payday
shutting my gyms down I got a big payday because I sold my five gyms big for me
because I sold my five gyms big for me relative I took all that money and I put
relative I took all that money and I put it into the next thing the partner that
it into the next thing the partner that I had in that next thing ended up taking
I had in that next thing ended up taking the money and disappearing filing
the money and disappearing filing bankruptcy and sending it to his
bankruptcy and sending it to his girlfriend in Sweden I couldn't make
girlfriend in Sweden I couldn't make this up so there's no way I could get
this up so there's no way I could get the money back and he had filed
the money back and he had filed bankruptcies there's no there's no
bankruptcies there's no there's no course of action for
course of action for lawsuit and so a lot of people would
lawsuit and so a lot of people would probably go through that mental
probably go through that mental situation and think and I went through
situation and think and I went through this was thinking I just wasted the last
this was thinking I just wasted the last five years like I literally started a
five years like I literally started a chain built like put everything into the
chain built like put everything into the second location put everything in the
second location put everything in the Third location the fourth location it
Third location the fourth location it kept kept going right I kept doubling
kept kept going right I kept doubling down and then I get my big pay in I put
down and then I get my big pay in I put it all all on black and then it
it all all on black and then it disappears with one spin of the roulette
disappears with one spin of the roulette and so here I am and I'm like I have
and so here I am and I'm like I have nothing to show for The Last 5 Years of
nothing to show for The Last 5 Years of work but in the next 12 months I made
work but in the next 12 months I made more money than I'd ever made in my
more money than I'd ever made in my entire life up to that point the five
entire life up to that point the five years I made I made the I made more
years I made I made the I made more profit the next 12 months than I made in
profit the next 12 months than I made in the last five years times like five and
the last five years times like five and it was because and this is only I was
it was because and this is only I was only able to real realize this in
only able to real realize this in retrospect which is why I'm sharing it
retrospect which is why I'm sharing it which is
which is that the thing that was the outcome of
that the thing that was the outcome of those five years was me and the skills
those five years was me and the skills and the experiences that I possess
and the experiences that I possess through going through it and so whatever
through going through it and so whatever the next Mountain that you're trying to
the next Mountain that you're trying to climb is of course it's going to be be
climb is of course it's going to be be higher but it's going to require you to
higher but it's going to require you to go through the smaller mountains to get
go through the smaller mountains to get to that point because the more able you
to that point because the more able you are the more able you realize you can
are the more able you realize you can become and you will get way bigger
become and you will get way bigger outcomes from the things that you have
outcomes from the things that you have like the path that led you here then
like the path that led you here then than
than you then you think you can and
you then you think you can and so that's why since that moment where I
so that's why since that moment where I lost everything and then I was able to
lost everything and then I was able to make more in the next 12 months I
make more in the next 12 months I realized that no work is wasted because
realized that no work is wasted because I am the output of the work not the
I am the output of the work not the outcome and that was one of the biggest
outcome and that was one of the biggest frame shifts for me in never thinking
frame shifts for me in never thinking that work is wasted because the more I
that work is wasted because the more I work the bigger my work ethic the more
work the bigger my work ethic the more my work capacity increases and to give
my work capacity increases and to give an exercise example because I think it's
an exercise example because I think it's it's cool and interesting is that a lot
it's cool and interesting is that a lot of people talk about this concept of
of people talk about this concept of overtraining don't worry I'll bring it
overtraining don't worry I'll bring it back all right they talk about this
back all right they talk about this concept of overtraining I remember I was
concept of overtraining I remember I was talk I had this woman that uh Lea and I
talk I had this woman that uh Lea and I friends with very successful business
friends with very successful business owner had a boy toy with her and he was
owner had a boy toy with her and he was like aren't you concerned about training
like aren't you concerned about training and I was feeling a little pissy that
and I was feeling a little pissy that day and I said bro once you start
day and I said bro once you start looking like you work out you can worry
looking like you work out you can worry about overtraining I was like until that
about overtraining I was like until that point you don't need to worry about
point you don't need to worry about overtraining I was being a little bit
overtraining I was being a little bit mean but I think he he did remember it
mean but I think he he did remember it and he did change the way he trained and
and he did change the way he trained and he did gain muscle afterwards so I felt
he did gain muscle afterwards so I felt okay about it now the point of that
okay about it now the point of that little quip right was that what I
little quip right was that what I explained to him is that your ability to
explained to him is that your ability to recover from working out itself is
recover from working out itself is trainable so when you do more volume
trainable so when you do more volume your ability to withstand volume your
your ability to withstand volume your work capacity increases and so to the
work capacity increases and so to the same degree people are like I feel burnt
same degree people are like I feel burnt out the thing is is that you either die
out the thing is is that you either die or you adapt that's it right and in the
or you adapt that's it right and in the Fitness World you either die get injured
Fitness World you either die get injured or adapt right and since you're probably
or adapt right and since you're probably not going to die you really just need to
not going to die you really just need to make sure that you don't get injured and
make sure that you don't get injured and if you don't get injured and you don't
if you don't get injured and you don't die you get better and so that mental
die you get better and so that mental process in terms of how I see work has
process in terms of how I see work has been like the most self-fulfilling
been like the most self-fulfilling prophecy that I've had because the more
prophecy that I've had because the more I work the better I get it working the
I work the better I get it working the more productive I am per unit of time
more productive I am per unit of time and so and then I get the outcomes that
and so and then I get the outcomes that happen eventually but the point is and
happen eventually but the point is and you prob I mean I already know you know
you prob I mean I already know you know this but the outcomes become so
this but the outcomes become so irrelevant compared to the reward that
irrelevant compared to the reward that you get in the meantime because the
you get in the meantime because the people who are experts and this is from
people who are experts and this is from my my good friend Dr cashy people who
my my good friend Dr cashy people who are experts at any skill become experts
are experts at any skill become experts because they learn how to become
because they learn how to become rewarded from the work itself and so
rewarded from the work itself and so like they don't actually have something
like they don't actually have something that you don't it's just that they
that you don't it's just that they measure success differently
judge yourself by your actions not by your thoughts I became significantly
your thoughts I became significantly less disappointed in myself when I
less disappointed in myself when I started judging myself only on the
started judging myself only on the actions I took not the thoughts I
actions I took not the thoughts I had
had so patience is a virtue that I feel like
so patience is a virtue that I feel like I haven't had and it's been something
I haven't had and it's been something that I've spoken over myself for many
that I've spoken over myself for many years I was like I'm an impatient person
years I was like I'm an impatient person I want things fast Etc but when I
I want things fast Etc but when I realized that I should use the same lens
realized that I should use the same lens that I judge other people on when I
that I judge other people on when I judge my myself which is someone might
judge my myself which is someone might say I'm a really honest guy but if I
say I'm a really honest guy but if I have no evidence that you're an honest
have no evidence that you're an honest person or when I put you in a situation
person or when I put you in a situation where you could be honest and you're not
where you could be honest and you're not I would say no you're not now that
I would say no you're not now that person probably thinks of themselves as
person probably thinks of themselves as honest or to the same degree I'm a
honest or to the same degree I'm a really loyal guy but as soon as I put a
really loyal guy but as soon as I put a 10 in front of you and you've got your
10 in front of you and you've got your your girl at home you jump you're not
your girl at home you jump you're not that loyal you just haven't had the
that loyal you just haven't had the opportunity to show that you're loyal
opportunity to show that you're loyal and so for me my thoughts about what I
and so for me my thoughts about what I thought I was were actually really
thought I was were actually really negative but when I try to think okay
negative but when I try to think okay well I can be patient if I act patient
well I can be patient if I act patient even if I don't feel patient and then
even if I don't feel patient and then that allowed me to start giving myself a
that allowed me to start giving myself a stack of undeniable proof that I am who
stack of undeniable proof that I am who I wanted to be and I don't believe in
I wanted to be and I don't believe in binary traits meaning like he's patient
binary traits meaning like he's patient or he's impatient or he's loyal or he's
or he's impatient or he's loyal or he's disloyal it's the question is how loyal
disloyal it's the question is how loyal are you how honest are you how patient
are you how honest are you how patient are you and by switching the character
are you and by switching the character traits that I wanted to have into
traits that I wanted to have into progressions or continuums allowed me to
progressions or continuums allowed me to make progress on them simply by giving
make progress on them simply by giving myself more proof or one more Penny on
myself more proof or one more Penny on the scale that says I'm a little bit
the scale that says I'm a little bit more patient than I was I'm a little bit
more patient than I was I'm a little bit more patient I'm a little bit more
more patient I'm a little bit more patient to the point where I have so
patient to the point where I have so many pennies on the scale that I can say
many pennies on the scale that I can say I think I am pretty patient even though
I think I am pretty patient even though every time I put a penny on the scale I
every time I put a penny on the scale I don't want to put a penny on the scale I
don't want to put a penny on the scale I want to get the thing to happen today I
want to get the thing to happen today I want it to happen yesterday because why
want it to happen yesterday because why is it taking so long it didn't take that
is it taking so long it didn't take that long for this person I feel like I feel
long for this person I feel like I feel like I work harder than them and I feel
like I work harder than them and I feel like I'm better than them why am I not
like I'm better than them why am I not doing that but I put the penny on the
doing that but I put the penny on the scale well ultimately what is patience
scale well ultimately what is patience is patience feeling patient or is
is patience feeling patient or is patient doing the thing that is patience
patient doing the thing that is patience so Sam Harris in his first conversation
so Sam Harris in his first conversation with jocker willink about 10 years ago
with jocker willink about 10 years ago they talk about how courage is an
they talk about how courage is an unfakeable emotion and it's such a good
unfakeable emotion and it's such a good frame you're going to love this so he
frame you're going to love this so he said if you do the thing in spite of
said if you do the thing in spite of being fearful of doing the thing that is
being fearful of doing the thing that is courage and if you don't do the thing
courage and if you don't do the thing even though you felt like doing the
even though you felt like doing the thing that is cowardice and I think that
thing that is cowardice and I think that motivation and Patience are exactly the
motivation and Patience are exactly the same if you're patient despite not
same if you're patient despite not feeling patient that is patience yes
feeling patient that is patience yes that is how it works and that was that
that is how it works and that was that realization that you just said was the
realization that you just said was the reason for that quote because it was me
reason for that quote because it was me realizing that I can actually have these
realizing that I can actually have these traits even if I don't feel like I live
traits even if I don't feel like I live those traits and so that's why probably
those traits and so that's why probably at least for me when people are
at least for me when people are like whatever the trait is like he's so
like whatever the trait is like he's so humble he's so whatever like you
humble he's so whatever like you probably will never feel like you have
probably will never feel like you have the trait but you can still have the
the trait but you can still have the trait based on evidence rather than
trait based on evidence rather than emotion and I think that frame of
emotion and I think that frame of evidence has been I mean if I had a a
evidence has been I mean if I had a a North star of personal development for
North star of personal development for myself it's been just give myself proof
myself it's been just give myself proof and I mean in so many ways like the
and I mean in so many ways like the reason that I I didn't I mean I'm going
reason that I I didn't I mean I'm going to go into tangent but again I'll bring
to go into tangent but again I'll bring it back I didn't talk about how to run
it back I didn't talk about how to run gyms until I had six gyms because I
gyms until I had six gyms because I didn't feel like I was qualified enough
didn't feel like I was qualified enough to talk about it and I only started
to talk about it and I only started talking about gyms when so many people
talking about gyms when so many people were like dude how do you run your gyms
were like dude how do you run your gyms how do you run your gyms and if I rewind
how do you run your gyms and if I rewind even before that I didn't feel qualified
even before that I didn't feel qualified to talk about Fitness but I had a
to talk about Fitness but I had a six-pack for a decade you know what I
six-pack for a decade you know what I mean and I had multiple State State
mean and I had multiple State State records but I still didn't feel
records but I still didn't feel qualified to talk about Fitness until
qualified to talk about Fitness until everyone was like dude how do you how
everyone was like dude how do you how you do this how do you strength train
you do this how do you strength train how do you how do you eat this way
how do you how do you eat this way whatever it is right and so if you if
whatever it is right and so if you if you can give yourself
you can give yourself evidence the world around you like Fame
evidence the world around you like Fame like your evidence will change how
like your evidence will change how people treat you independent of how you
people treat you independent of how you feel about it well this is why the must
feel about it well this is why the must be easy must be nice is so flawed
be easy must be nice is so flawed because what you're saying is I see the
because what you're saying is I see the outcomes and I have no idea of the
outcomes and I have no idea of the difficulty of the inputs I have
difficulty of the inputs I have absolutely no idea what barriers you
absolutely no idea what barriers you need to get over you could be you could
need to get over you could be you could find it 99 out of 100 difficult to be
find it 99 out of 100 difficult to be patient and yet you are must be nice for
patient and yet you are must be nice for you you've got that patience Gene you go
you you've got that patience Gene you go eat
eat eat you have no idea how hard
eat you have no idea how hard it is for people to do the things that
it is for people to do the things that they do and the people that make it look
they do and the people that make it look easy in some regards contribute to this
easy in some regards contribute to this problem like I and this is why I really
problem like I and this is why I really love I'm a massive fan of of a lot of
love I'm a massive fan of of a lot of your work and I think that one of the
your work and I think that one of the reasons is that it's so honest and and
reasons is that it's so honest and and self-facing about the challenges and
self-facing about the challenges and about the steps that you have to get
about the steps that you have to get through and because the journey is
through and because the journey is relatively well narrati and you can you
relatively well narrati and you can you can track it step by step and you've
can track it step by step and you've created a kind of a cohesive timeline of
created a kind of a cohesive timeline of how the all of this stuff worked there
how the all of this stuff worked there is a point along specifically your
is a point along specifically your journey but hopefully mine and other
journey but hopefully mine and other people's too where people people can
people's too where people people can inject themselves and say oh I'm at that
inject themselves and say oh I'm at that bit I'm the 15-year-old that I'm at that
bit I'm the 15-year-old that I'm at that bit I resent my parents I've just lost
bit I resent my parents I've just lost all my money I I feel like I need to you
all my money I I feel like I need to you know like you have every different
know like you have every different problem that you can encounter in life
problem that you can encounter in life is present in Alex's
is present in Alex's timeline and I think that that's really
timeline and I think that that's really important I think this this is one of
important I think this this is one of the I would say this is a criticism that
the I would say this is a criticism that I have about some of the personal
I have about some of the personal development self-growth and a lot of the
development self-growth and a lot of the business advice as well
business advice as well even the bad times are
even the bad times are romanticized and they're not
romanticized and they're not romantic like it feels like hell it
romantic like it feels like hell it feels like to do the thing to fail
feels like to do the thing to fail to not feel like anybody cares about you
to not feel like anybody cares about you to not even know that there's going to
to not even know that there's going to be glory in retrospect
be glory in retrospect yeah it feels despondent and destitute
yeah it feels despondent and destitute and sad and
and sad and alone and I get it and I think that the
alone and I get it and I think that the more visceral
more visceral that we can make these stories the
that we can make these stories the better it is because I know that that's
better it is because I know that that's what would have resonated with me CU I
what would have resonated with me CU I would have gone that's an undeniable
would have gone that's an undeniable stack of proof that you were where you
stack of proof that you were where you said you
said you were I'll tell you one that maybe will
were I'll tell you one that maybe will resonate with somebody in the audience
resonate with somebody in the audience so I remember when I decided to move so
so I remember when I decided to move so I moved to California to start a gym or
I moved to California to start a gym or get into fitness and I got there and the
get into fitness and I got there and the guy who I said I was going to Mentor
guy who I said I was going to Mentor under was like where are you staying and
under was like where are you staying and I was like I don't know I just got here
I was like I don't know I just got here and he's like what do you mean you don't
and he's like what do you mean you don't know I was like I I don't know I just I
know I was like I I don't know I just I just showed up and so he went he said I
just showed up and so he went he said I could sleep at his place that night the
could sleep at his place that night the next morning went to the gym and he got
next morning went to the gym and he got on a chair and said hey who here is
on a chair and said hey who here is going to house this kid and one guy came
going to house this kid and one guy came up to me he was like I'll give you a
up to me he was like I'll give you a room so I rented one room in a house for
room so I rented one room in a house for 400 bucks a month and then when I left
400 bucks a month and then when I left that room to start sleeping at the gym
that room to start sleeping at the gym which was an hour away because I
which was an hour away because I couldn't make the commute so I save 400
couldn't make the commute so I save 400 bucks a month I remember being actually
bucks a month I remember being actually kind of excited about it I remember
kind of excited about it I remember being like man this is going to be a SI
being like man this is going to be a SI story yeah this is going to be I'm going
story yeah this is going to be I'm going to be this is my Rocky cut scene right
to be this is my Rocky cut scene right the thing is that the rocky cut scene
the thing is that the rocky cut scene last 30 seconds in the movie but it can
last 30 seconds in the movie but it can Last 5 Years in your life and when I was
Last 5 Years in your life and when I was sleeping on the gym floor I'll give you
sleeping on the gym floor I'll give you a detail that that'll tell you that the
a detail that that'll tell you that the UN the stack of undeniable proof um was
UN the stack of undeniable proof um was that I my first gym was underneath of a
that I my first gym was underneath of a parking garage and so there's these
parking garage and so there's these metal dividers in the ceiling and so
metal dividers in the ceiling and so cars would drive over this and it's a
cars would drive over this and it's a Concrete box and so it sounded like a
Concrete box and so it sounded like a gunshot
gunshot like and it would happen at all hours of
like and it would happen at all hours of the night and probably the most painful
the night and probably the most painful from an emotional perspective experience
from an emotional perspective experience that I would have on a regular basis was
that I would have on a regular basis was that it was also abandoned enough
that it was also abandoned enough parking a lot that college kids kids my
parking a lot that college kids kids my age would go up and party on the roof
age would go up and party on the roof and so like while they were partying
and so like while they were partying literally above my head and making noise
literally above my head and making noise that would prevent me from sleeping I
that would prevent me from sleeping I would be down below in an Inc in a dark
would be down below in an Inc in a dark Warehouse in a city that I knew no one
Warehouse in a city that I knew no one like I was from Baltimore I drove across
like I was from Baltimore I drove across the country I went to hunting to beach I
the country I went to hunting to beach I literally knew no one and no one knew me
literally knew no one and no one knew me and so I'm sleeping there and then I
and so I'm sleeping there and then I realized that I can't really sleep at
realized that I can't really sleep at night and so I'm I'm taking basically
night and so I'm I'm taking basically I'm living on naps for the first 6
I'm living on naps for the first 6 months of the
months of the gym and like homeless people are
gym and like homeless people are sleeping in my parking lot and I have to
sleeping in my parking lot and I have to like go out and tell them to like go
like go out and tell them to like go away and then I get back lock the door
away and then I get back lock the door and I go back on the astr turf which is
and I go back on the astr turf which is where I slept with a blanket and a
where I slept with a blanket and a pillow and I I bring this up because
pillow and I I bring this up because like the
like the visceral feeling that you go through
visceral feeling that you go through when you're going through the mound of
when you're going through the mound of period or the eating what
period or the eating what feels like a
feels like a marathon is that it's it becomes 30
marathon is that it's it becomes 30 second sound bite in my story yeah but
second sound bite in my story yeah but it was years and so like even to the
it was years and so like even to the same degree people like man you're such
same degree people like man you're such a natural salesman the first job I ever
a natural salesman the first job I ever got offered out of college was a sales
got offered out of college was a sales job and I said I'm not a Salesman I'm an
job and I said I'm not a Salesman I'm an academic G and then as soon as I opened
academic G and then as soon as I opened my gym I was like oh how do I pay
my gym I was like oh how do I pay rent and someone walked in the door and
rent and someone walked in the door and I was like please give me money uh I
I was like please give me money uh I promise I I had no equipment in my gym
promise I I had no equipment in my gym because I I couldn't afford any so it's
because I I couldn't afford any so it's an empty gym with just Turf and I was
an empty gym with just Turf and I was like I promise you I will get you
like I promise you I will get you amazing results and they were like are
amazing results and they were like are you going to be here tomorrow and I was
you going to be here tomorrow and I was like I I sleep here I have to be here I
like I I sleep here I have to be here I promise I'll be
promise I'll be here it's impossible for me to not be
here it's impossible for me to not be here I can't live I can't leave right
here I can't live I can't leave right and so the early people took pity on me
and so the early people took pity on me when they literally paid the first the
when they literally paid the first the first 29 members I signed up in the
first 29 members I signed up in the first two weeks before the gym opened
first two weeks before the gym opened was from pity it wasn't from Charisma it
was from pity it wasn't from Charisma it was pure pity I'll be real with you and
was pure pity I'll be real with you and it was the exact amount that I needed to
it was the exact amount that I needed to pay rent and I remember the first month
pay rent and I remember the first month of rent that I paid with this is
of rent that I paid with this is actually wild I only only looked at this
actually wild I only only looked at this in retrospect I made exactly
in retrospect I made exactly $4,975 my first month of my gym my rent
$4,975 my first month of my gym my rent was $
was $ 4,972 and I remember working like a dog
4,972 and I remember working like a dog to get that I'd never made money in my
to get that I'd never made money in my life like I'd never like really asked
life like I'd never like really asked anyone for money and all of a sudden I
anyone for money and all of a sudden I had to come up $5,000 in a month and
had to come up $5,000 in a month and then at the end of the month I watched
then at the end of the month I watched it go to zero and then I was like I have
it go to zero and then I was like I have to do it again and that was when like
to do it again and that was when like the reality of the situation of like
the reality of the situation of like there was no Escape there was no one who
there was no Escape there was no one who was going to come to save me and there
was going to come to save me and there was I couldn't blame my dad I couldn't
was I couldn't blame my dad I couldn't blame my mom I was the one who had
blame my mom I was the one who had chosen this life but the alternative was
chosen this life but the alternative was that I had to go back to my father a
that I had to go back to my father a failure and have him look in look me in
failure and have him look in look me in the eyes and say I told you and come
the eyes and say I told you and come here come here don't worry about you
here come here don't worry about you know I told you this this gym stuff this
know I told you this this gym stuff this Fitness stuff this starting your own
Fitness stuff this starting your own it's it's for later it's fine just go
it's it's for later it's fine just go backy you you've got this you've got
backy you you've got this you've got this great degree you've got just go to
this great degree you've got just go to the go to the business school do the
the go to the business school do the thing and I knew exactly what would
thing and I knew exactly what would happened but what would have happened
happened but what would have happened after that is that for the rest of my
after that is that for the rest of my life he would have had absolute
life he would have had absolute authority over everything that I did and
authority over everything that I did and that felt like death and so that was
that felt like death and so that was what I ran away from when I was in that
what I ran away from when I was in that moment like whenever I felt like my back
moment like whenever I felt like my back was against the wall and I didn't know
was against the wall and I didn't know what to do and it felt like the
what to do and it felt like the Instagram reels of like the motivation
Instagram reels of like the motivation weren't going to get me through what I
weren't going to get me through what I was going through because no one cared
was going through because no one cared that I was sleeping alone I let them
that I was sleeping alone I let them know I'm sleeping on the floor and a
know I'm sleeping on the floor and a month later when you're still sleeping
month later when you're still sleeping on the floor everyone's like don't care
on the floor everyone's like don't care like great you're pursuing your dream
like great you're pursuing your dream right early
right early days but despite that the the mustbe
days but despite that the the mustbe easy Mantra is the easiest indicator
easy Mantra is the easiest indicator that you have a victim mindset because
that you have a victim mindset because what it means is I can't achieve this
what it means is I can't achieve this thing because on some level you say it
thing because on some level you say it must be easy there's some level of
must be easy there's some level of desire that's there you're like I'd like
desire that's there you're like I'd like to achieve some aspect of this and then
to achieve some aspect of this and then rather than feel the pain of saying that
rather than feel the pain of saying that I'm inadequate or I'm not taking action
I'm inadequate or I'm not taking action we we cast our our inadequacy on some
we we cast our our inadequacy on some outside object or some outside
outside object or some outside circumstance and by doing that we remove
circumstance and by doing that we remove all agency and all power that we have
all agency and all power that we have over our lives and for me I would rather
over our lives and for me I would rather be somebody who has absolute power and
be somebody who has absolute power and have nothing to show for it than
have nothing to show for it than somebody who has all the all the the
somebody who has all the all the the things to show for it but know that I'm
things to show for it but know that I'm life's
life being one protracted training montage is a really important lesson to
montage is a really important lesson to learn the fact that in the Rocky movie
learn the fact that in the Rocky movie it is 90 seconds and then everything is
it is 90 seconds and then everything is fixed and that can last for decades that
fixed and that can last for decades that can last for years and I think that the
can last for years and I think that the lack of Glory the lack of certainty
lack of Glory the lack of certainty yeah it makes it it it turns it
yeah it makes it it it turns it from
from worthwhile
worthwhile Majesty
Majesty into it's it's not even sufficiently
into it's it's not even sufficiently triumphant to be called sad like it's
triumphant to be called sad like it's just like weak and pissy and you have no
just like weak and pissy and you have no idea if anything's going to work but
idea if anything's going to work but what's the alternative entr is going to
what's the alternative entr is going to come and get you so what's the
come and get you so what's the alternative like my Twitter bio says
alternative like my Twitter bio says locally reversing entropy and I I I
locally reversing entropy and I I I think that that really is what you
think that that really is what you should try and do because it's going to
should try and do because it's going to come for you the lack of
come for you the lack of certainty is what actually makes it
certainty is what actually makes it worth it and so here's my point let's
worth it and so here's my point let's think let's consider the alternative
think let's consider the alternative which is that you are on the path and
which is that you are on the path and you are guaranteed to know that you're
you are guaranteed to know that you're going to get the
going to get the outcome all of the mystery is gone there
outcome all of the mystery is gone there is no excitement which is why they said
is no excitement which is why they said you know in the an ancient Romans or
you know in the an ancient Romans or sorry ancient Greeks would say that the
sorry ancient Greeks would say that the gods always envied The Mortals because
gods always envied The Mortals because their life was so ephemeral they had so
their life was so ephemeral they had so much chance that could happen to them
much chance that could happen to them right where the gods always knew that
right where the gods always knew that they weren't going to die and it was
they weren't going to die and it was completely guaranteed and so what we do
completely guaranteed and so what we do is we basically have this wish that if
is we basically have this wish that if it actually came true we would hate it
it actually came true we would hate it even more than our current circumstance
even more than our current circumstance if you knew that you were going to
if you knew that you were going to succeed it wouldn't be worth doing to
succeed it wouldn't be worth doing to begin with the fact that you are
begin with the fact that you are uncertain when you start is what makes
uncertain when you start is what makes it worthwhile and the fallacy of being
it worthwhile and the fallacy of being in the pursuit is the worry or the
in the pursuit is the worry or the concern that it won't amount to anything
concern that it won't amount to anything because who you are becoming is the
because who you are becoming is the thing that you are amounting to in real
thing that you are amounting to in real time every
time every day this was something that Mark Manson
day this was something that Mark Manson tweeted he put it in his newsletter
tweeted he put it in his newsletter actually and it made me think of a
actually and it made me think of a lesson that I learned a long time
lesson that I learned a long time ago stop complaining about the results
ago stop complaining about the results you didn't get from the work you didn't
you didn't get from the work you didn't put in the only way to become more
put in the only way to become more successful than most people is to be
successful than most people is to be willing to do something most people
willing to do something most people aren't willing to do
aren't willing to do and this is that leanin mentality again
and this is that leanin mentality again it's like look it sucks it's shitty
it's like look it sucks it's shitty you're tired everybody says that you're
you're tired everybody says that you're leaving your friends behind leaving your
leaving your friends behind leaving your family behind betraying your culture
family behind betraying your culture betraying whatever expectation it is
betraying whatever expectation it is that they have on you you need to do
that they have on you you need to do something that most people aren't
something that most people aren't willing to do because as we've said the
willing to do because as we've said the average American is obese in debt and
average American is obese in debt and divorced like is that really oh
divorced like is that really oh brilliant fantastic I'm in the
brilliant fantastic I'm in the center of the bell curve distribution
center of the bell curve distribution here that's really congratulations and
here that's really congratulations and then the other side stop complaining
then the other side stop complaining about the results you didn't get from
about the results you didn't get from the work you didn't put in okay so you
the work you didn't put in okay so you didn't lose weight this month did you
didn't lose weight this month did you follow your diet well I did for half the
follow your diet well I did for half the month okay so is it any surprise that
month okay so is it any surprise that you didn't lose any weight how's your
you didn't lose any weight how's your content creation game going well I I you
content creation game going well I I you know I spent a lot of time planning for
know I spent a lot of time planning for the podcast that I'm going to release or
the podcast that I'm going to release or for the Instagram that I'm going to
for the Instagram that I'm going to start or from the substack that I'm
start or from the substack that I'm going to begin writing on okay and what
going to begin writing on okay and what did you actually do it comes back to
did you actually do it comes back to like the work doesn't care
like the work doesn't care yeah Charlie Munger in one of his
yeah Charlie Munger in one of his seminal speeches he talks about how to
seminal speeches he talks about how to guarantee failure how to make sure that
guarantee failure how to make sure that you are a failure and he inverts the the
you are a failure and he inverts the the concept of success it's like what could
concept of success it's like what could you do to make sure that you were a
you do to make sure that you were a failure it's like well you would
failure it's like well you would definitely get involved in drugs
definitely get involved in drugs drinking he says was it leverage liquor
drinking he says was it leverage liquor in women that's you know the Charlie's
in women that's you know the Charlie's Charlie's big one right but one of the
Charlie's big one right but one of the ones that he has I think he has seven in
ones that he has I think he has seven in his in his in his speech
his in his in his speech is consistency he's like you have to
is consistency he's like you have to make sure sure that you're inconsistent
make sure sure that you're inconsistent he's like because if you are consistent
he's like because if you are consistent and you have none of the other
and you have none of the other attributes he's like it's you still
attributes he's like it's you still might be successful he's like it's it's
might be successful he's like it's it's very tough for people who are consistent
very tough for people who are consistent to not be successful and he makes an
to not be successful and he makes an especially pointed point about
especially pointed point about consistency because in my opinion it's
consistency because in my opinion it's one of the most difficult of the virtues
one of the most difficult of the virtues for humans to do because we're so
for humans to do because we're so attracted to novelty and so like I mean
attracted to novelty and so like I mean I used to De with this with you know
I used to De with this with you know people on their diets all the time I
people on their diets all the time I remember I ran gyms and so someone would
remember I ran gyms and so someone would come in and I would always ask the
come in and I would always ask the question so have you been following the
question so have you been following the meal plant and then they would say yes
meal plant and then they would say yes and so then I started changing the way I
and so then I started changing the way I asked the question so I'd say out of the
asked the question so I'd say out of the 21 meals that you were supposed to eat
21 meals that you were supposed to eat how many of the 21 did you have exactly
how many of the 21 did you have exactly the way it was on the meal plan and then
the way it was on the meal plan and then they would be like oh I mean at least
they would be like oh I mean at least half and they would say it as though
half and they would say it as though that was a mark of success and right now
that was a mark of success and right now the meal plan could be your content plan
the meal plan could be your content plan it could be your it could be your
it could be your it could be your showing up to work on time plan it could
showing up to work on time plan it could be the time that you want to put towards
be the time that you want to put towards your side hust it doesn't really matter
your side hust it doesn't really matter but if there's one muscle that you Flex
but if there's one muscle that you Flex it's learning to do the same thing over
it's learning to do the same thing over and over again like one of the one of
and over again like one of the one of the values that we had at gym launch is
the values that we had at gym launch is do the boring work because boring is
do the boring work because boring is what makes you rich right it's it's it's
what makes you rich right it's it's it's it's writing the follow-up sequence to
it's writing the follow-up sequence to your to the purchase page that you don't
your to the purchase page that you don't feel like doing but you know you should
feel like doing but you know you should do it's running the split test for the
do it's running the split test for the 10th time it's it's actually going
10th time it's it's actually going through and prepping for 20 minutes
through and prepping for 20 minutes before you have the meeting
before you have the meeting because it's amazing how much smarter
because it's amazing how much smarter you can appear with 20 minutes of
you can appear with 20 minutes of preparation like you can appear 50 IQ
preparation like you can appear 50 IQ points smarter if you just prepare for
points smarter if you just prepare for meetings for 20 minutes I remember I did
meetings for 20 minutes I remember I did a Consulting day which I've only done
a Consulting day which I've only done three in my entire life and when I
three in my entire life and when I showed up uh to the day because I always
showed up uh to the day because I always want to make sure that everyone always
want to make sure that everyone always gets more from me than I than they give
gets more from me than I than they give me um I had taken I don't know four
me um I had taken I don't know four hours not a long time but a long time
hours not a long time but a long time for I think some people but for me four
for I think some people but for me four hours is nothing I count in 100 so this
hours is nothing I count in 100 so this was irrelevant and so I put like four
was irrelevant and so I put like four hours and actually took the time and put
hours and actually took the time and put it in to do research on the individual
it in to do research on the individual so I looked at every single page they
so I looked at every single page they had every landing page every offer every
had every landing page every offer every everything and I had seven pages of
everything and I had seven pages of things that I thought would make them
things that I thought would make them more money and so when I started I was
more money and so when I started I was like this is what we're going to go
like this is what we're going to go through today and I'll walk you through
through today and I'll walk you through line by line and you'll have this as a
line by line and you'll have this as a take behind so you can execute it with
take behind so you can execute it with your team it was a bigger
your team it was a bigger company and the guy was shocked he was
company and the guy was shocked he was like never in my entire life has anyone
like never in my entire life has anyone had this much preparation and that's
had this much preparation and that's when goes back to like you need 20
when goes back to like you need 20 podcasts to be in the top 1% the the bar
podcasts to be in the top 1% the the bar for excellence like I have this timer
for excellence like I have this timer that I have on my desk which it's it's
that I have on my desk which it's it's the easiest purchase you can make I
the easiest purchase you can make I think it was like seven bucks on Amazon
think it was like seven bucks on Amazon it's a little twist kitchen timer it's
it's a little twist kitchen timer it's very easy and it's been probably my
very easy and it's been probably my biggest Focus act you know to date which
biggest Focus act you know to date which is I turn it when I want to start
is I turn it when I want to start working and part of it allows me to
working and part of it allows me to think how long I I get better at
think how long I I get better at predicting how long it's going to take
predicting how long it's going to take me to do something so I think I think
me to do something so I think I think this will take me 35 minutes so I turn
this will take me 35 minutes so I turn the clock to 35 and I click on and I
the clock to 35 and I click on and I start working on the thing and the
start working on the thing and the moment my phone rings or I look at slack
moment my phone rings or I look at slack or whatever I stop the timer and so you
or whatever I stop the timer and so you actually see that your time on task is
actually see that your time on task is usually significantly less than you
usually significantly less than you think it is and I think that in my early
think it is and I think that in my early days I would spend a very long time in
days I would spend a very long time in front of a computer telling myself that
front of a computer telling myself that I was working with very few minutes
I was working with very few minutes actually on task and that's why I think
actually on task and that's why I think that most things are actually
that most things are actually significantly easier than people think
significantly easier than people think they are they just don't know how to try
they are they just don't know how to try hard because the harder you try the
hard because the harder you try the easier it gets and so it's like if you
easier it gets and so it's like if you can just learn to love what trying hard
can just learn to love what trying hard feels like then all of a sudden it
feels like then all of a sudden it becomes unreasonable that you can't win
becomes unreasonable that you can't win so like for the presentation that I'm
so like for the presentation that I'm giving I explained a little bit earlier
giving I explained a little bit earlier about what my process looks like if you
about what my process looks like if you were to say what would it take for
were to say what would it take for somebody to be unreasonably good that it
somebody to be unreasonably good that it would be impossible for them to not be a
would be impossible for them to not be a top 1% salesman or a top 1% content
top 1% salesman or a top 1% content creator and you said what would that
creator and you said what would that person need to do a relevant from
person need to do a relevant from outcome what would be the actions or
outcome what would be the actions or evidence that they would have to do
evidence that they would have to do prior to that thing that would make it
prior to that thing that would make it unreasonable that they couldn't
unreasonable that they couldn't succeed and then you do those things
succeed and then you do those things what happens is you realize that it's
what happens is you realize that it's actually not that hard because you put
actually not that hard because you put so much work into it and the bar from
so much work into it and the bar from other people is so embarrassingly low
other people is so embarrassingly low that they then ask you how you did it
that they then ask you how you did it and it must be
and it must be easy
easy consistency doesn't guarantee that
consistency doesn't guarantee that you'll be
you'll be successful but not being consistent will
successful but not being consistent will guarantee that you won't reach success
guarantee that you won't reach success you have a productivity hack an easy
you have a productivity hack an easy productivity hack instead of spending
productivity hack instead of spending time getting in the mood to work just
time getting in the mood to work just start working confront the work people
start working confront the work people think they need perfect conditions to
think they need perfect conditions to start when in reality
start when in reality starting is the perfect
starting is the perfect condition I'm married to that I love
condition I'm married to that I love that because if you think like I you
that because if you think like I you know I obviously am somebody who always
know I obviously am somebody who always wants to optimize how much work I do per
wants to optimize how much work I do per unit of time and so I I was you know
unit of time and so I I was you know there was definitely times earlier in my
there was definitely times earlier in my life I was really romanticized by these
life I was really romanticized by these like very extensive morning routines and
like very extensive morning routines and supplement rituals and like all this
supplement rituals and like all this stuff of mental masturbation around the
stuff of mental masturbation around the work that needed to be done but when I
work that needed to be done but when I looked at two hours later and nothing
looked at two hours later and nothing had actually gotten done
had actually gotten done the moment you begin working is when
the moment you begin working is when your output per unit of time goes up and
your output per unit of time goes up and so that makes beginning the single
so that makes beginning the single greatest hack that you can have for
greatest hack that you can have for everything else that you do and work
everything else that you do and work because thing is when you start working
because thing is when you start working you start getting in the mood to work
you start getting in the mood to work right like everything else is
right like everything else is procrastinating around the work that you
procrastinating around the work that you think you should do but like I have
think you should do but like I have noticed for me at least I have these I
noticed for me at least I have these I have some big mental tasks you know what
have some big mental tasks you know what I mean like big content piece or big
I mean like big content piece or big thing that you need like you know it's
thing that you need like you know it's going to take real mental effort it
going to take real mental effort it takes me like 5 minutes of actually
takes me like 5 minutes of actually being in it to then get a little bit of
being in it to then get a little bit of a lay of the land to then get into it
a lay of the land to then get into it but I used to take hours to delay to
but I used to take hours to delay to start the first five minutes and so my
start the first five minutes and so my time compression of when I thought I
time compression of when I thought I should start doing something and when I
should start doing something and when I started doing it over time it's just
started doing it over time it's just compressed to the point where it's like
compressed to the point where it's like the moment I think that I need to start
the moment I think that I need to start doing it sometimes I just start it
doing it sometimes I just start it because then what happens I get this
because then what happens I get this open loop and so rather than complete
open loop and so rather than complete work at like because a lot of people we
work at like because a lot of people we like I want to complete it at this
like I want to complete it at this really nice clean Point stop halfway
really nice clean Point stop halfway through the sentence cuz it'll drive you
through the sentence cuz it'll drive you mad that's the zygon effect in full work
mad that's the zygon effect in full work do you know this story zonic oh wow this
do you know this story zonic oh wow this is way more than that's what you shut up
is way more than that's what you shut up that's what you're leveraging here so um
that's what you're leveraging here so um the zonic effect was a study originally
the zonic effect was a study originally done on servers in restaurants okay and
done on servers in restaurants okay and they realized you've ever being at a
they realized you've ever being at a restaurant and a server comes up and
restaurant and a server comes up and stands with the hands behind the back go
stands with the hands behind the back go what would you like tonight sir and you
what would you like tonight sir and you say I'll have the lobster roll and a
say I'll have the lobster roll and a glass of red wine and a blah blah and
glass of red wine and a blah blah and you're like this is not he
you're like this is not he hasn't got a pen or a pad of paper he's
hasn't got a pen or a pad of paper he's crazy and then they go off and what they
crazy and then they go off and what they realized was servers in restaurants were
realized was servers in restaurants were unbelievably good at being able to
unbelievably good at being able to recall exactly what a table's order was
recall exactly what a table's order was while that table's order was still open
while that table's order was still open so uh guys in table 16 uh they want to
so uh guys in table 16 uh they want to swap the P's out for a little bit of
swap the P's out for a little bit of extra rice and they're doing this thing
extra rice and they're doing this thing as soon as the table was closed they
as soon as the table was closed they couldn't remember anything so this is an
couldn't remember anything so this is an open loop closed loop system and it's
open loop closed loop system and it's built into the
built into the brain the brain abhors an open loop it's
brain the brain abhors an open loop it's the same reason why Netflix click
the same reason why Netflix click hangers at the end of every episode
hangers at the end of every episode guaranteed that you'll watch the next
guaranteed that you'll watch the next one because you can't bear the fact
one because you can't bear the fact there's even novels in the dark romance
there's even novels in the dark romance genre that make guarantees that there
genre that make guarantees that there won't be Cliffhangers they make they put
won't be Cliffhangers they make they put it on the front or the back of the book
it on the front or the back of the book and they say no Cliffhangers guaranteed
and they say no Cliffhangers guaranteed which is people have so much distaste
which is people have so much distaste for it that it's a selling point that
for it that it's a selling point that you get the closure at the end of it and
you get the closure at the end of it and finishing halfway through a
finishing halfway through a sentence reduces the activation energy
sentence reduces the activation energy required to begin that sentence the next
required to begin that sentence the next day and it keeps it in your mind too
day and it keeps it in your mind too overnight so I think yeah whether you've
overnight so I think yeah whether you've stumbled on it or whether you knew about
stumbled on it or whether you knew about it you've managed to leverage a pretty
it you've managed to leverage a pretty powerful piece of psychology that sick
powerful piece of psychology that sick going back to the work thing uh another
going back to the work thing uh another one from you that I absolutely adore it
one from you that I absolutely adore it just takes work shitloads and shitloads
just takes work shitloads and shitloads of work every time I try and dress it up
of work every time I try and dress it up or cut a corner I get brutally reminded
or cut a corner I get brutally reminded the work just needs doing the work
the work just needs doing the work doesn't care who you are it just cares
doesn't care who you are it just cares that it gets
that it gets done I'm actually going to reverse quote
done I'm actually going to reverse quote David Goggins on this one but uh I love
David Goggins on this one but uh I love this quote that he has which he says
this quote that he has which he says there's no shortcuts for you David or
there's no shortcuts for you David or there's no shortcuts for you Goggins I
there's no shortcuts for you Goggins I heard him say that and I just love that
heard him say that and I just love that as a refrain which is that a lot of
as a refrain which is that a lot of people look for a shortcut but the idea
people look for a shortcut but the idea that you say like they're not for you
that you say like they're not for you you don't get to use them you are immune
you don't get to use them you are immune to
to shortcuts I just love it because then it
shortcuts I just love it because then it it just further shortcuts the path to
it just further shortcuts the path to the work that needs to get done and I
the work that needs to get done and I wrote that tweet on my I don't know 11th
wrote that tweet on my I don't know 11th run of this presentation that I'm doing
run of this presentation that I'm doing because that's a recent one y and so I
because that's a recent one y and so I was it was like 11 o'clock at night and
was it was like 11 o'clock at night and so right now I'm working triple shifts
so right now I'm working triple shifts which is not common for me I usually do
which is not common for me I usually do two not three um so for me a normal
two not three um so for me a normal workday is like I wake up uh I start
workday is like I wake up uh I start working at you know 600 or 7 and then I
working at you know 600 or 7 and then I go until about sixish so it's like 10 to
go until about sixish so it's like 10 to 12 really concentrated hours work and
12 really concentrated hours work and that I can do six and a half days a week
that I can do six and a half days a week usually take Saturday afternoons off um
usually take Saturday afternoons off um and it's really just because at that
and it's really just because at that point I I can't work anymore and My
point I I can't work anymore and My Brain Stew and then I I get my one half
Brain Stew and then I I get my one half day and then I'm good to go and I'm
day and then I'm good to go and I'm rearing to kick on you know to work on
rearing to kick on you know to work on Sundays my triple shift is I get I go to
Sundays my triple shift is I get I go to dinner and I come back at 7:30 and then
dinner and I come back at 7:30 and then I work from 7:30 until 11:30 or 1 or
I work from 7:30 until 11:30 or 1 or whatever right and when I'm putting in
whatever right and when I'm putting in triple shifts is when I know I'm like
triple shifts is when I know I'm like really gassing it um and that's that's
really gassing it um and that's that's when I'm like repeatedly doing 16 17 a
when I'm like repeatedly doing 16 17 a day of actual productive work and
day of actual productive work and I I hear the same thoughts that everyone
I I hear the same thoughts that everyone does which is like it's not going to
does which is like it's not going to matter like it's fine you've like it's
matter like it's fine you've like it's good enough like I hate that like it
good enough like I hate that like it makes me sick to even say that right
makes me sick to even say that right because the thing that I like David
because the thing that I like David goggin right he's got like there's no
goggin right he's got like there's no shortcuts for you I would say the one
shortcuts for you I would say the one that I have two that are like my
that I have two that are like my internal ones one that is probably the
internal ones one that is probably the most common is I will do what is
most common is I will do what is required
required and this work needs do it and there's
and this work needs do it and there's just no way around
just no way around and it's just it's just looking at the
and it's just it's just looking at the face of the work and it's like smiling
face of the work and it's like smiling back at me like no one else is going to
back at me like no one else is going to do it um and like I love that one like
do it um and like I love that one like when we're recording content in the
when we're recording content in the early days we were doing like a hundred
early days we were doing like a hundred shorts every time we did it and it was
shorts every time we did it and it was direct to camera and it was the only
direct to camera and it was the only time I could fit it in with all the
time I could fit it in with all the portfolio stuff they were doing and so I
portfolio stuff they were doing and so I was it was always like I will do what's
was it was always like I will do what's required and that's been a really
required and that's been a really helpful refrain for me when I'm
helpful refrain for me when I'm confronted with especially when you know
confronted with especially when you know what needs to get done and the second
what needs to get done and the second one is but I'll
one is but I'll know and so like even if it does go well
know and so like even if it does go well and even if everyone else says it's
and even if everyone else says it's great but I'll know and it'll then rob
great but I'll know and it'll then rob me of all of the joy of all of those
me of all of the joy of all of those moments and that experience because I'll
moments and that experience because I'll know that I could have done better and
know that I could have done better and the thing is is like to to quote myself
the thing is is like to to quote myself from earlier like I've never regretted
from earlier like I've never regretted working harder ever not once and some
working harder ever not once and some people were like on your deathbed you're
people were like on your deathbed you're like no CU I lived every moment of my
like no CU I lived every moment of my day doing what I wanted to do and I
day doing what I wanted to do and I remember I had a boss when I um my first
remember I had a boss when I um my first boss after college she said this thing I
boss after college she said this thing I had had a a particularly good weekend
had had a a particularly good weekend and she said I'm pretty sure happiness
and she said I'm pretty sure happiness is stringing as many of those days in a
is stringing as many of those days in a row as you possibly can and although I
row as you possibly can and although I hated the job that piece of advice has
hated the job that piece of advice has actually been probably what I has been
actually been probably what I has been my blue for how to live which is like my
my blue for how to live which is like my birthday looks the same as my Tuesdays
birthday looks the same as my Tuesdays which looks the same as my Sundays you
which looks the same as my Sundays you know what the original name pool for
know what the original name pool for this podcast was this is the only time
this podcast was this is the only time in history I've done branding my entire
in history I've done branding my entire adult life and with club nights all
adult life and with club nights all you're doing is coming up with
you're doing is coming up with Brands Paradiso oh it's it's tropical
Brands Paradiso oh it's it's tropical there'll be a flamingo skint oh it's a
there'll be a flamingo skint oh it's a cheap night it's for people to get
cheap night it's for people to get fingered in the corner like is we all I
fingered in the corner like is we all I did was branding right I was The
did was branding right I was The Branding guy I'm pretty good at
Branding guy I'm pretty good at copyrighting all I did was branding the
copyrighting all I did was branding the one time I've had divine inspiration 3
one time I've had divine inspiration 3 in the morning wake up with the name was
in the morning wake up with the name was Modern wisdom the one time out of every
Modern wisdom the one time out of every business every night every brand I've
business every night every brand I've ever come up with that was the one time
ever come up with that was the one time but on the list of the others mind mind
but on the list of the others mind mind and matter was one of them the other one
and matter was one of them the other one was a quote from Tim Ferris it's called
was a quote from Tim Ferris it's called crushing a Tuesday and he said that what
crushing a Tuesday and he said that what you should aim for in life is for your
you should aim for in life is for your average
average Tuesday not the spectacular one time jet
Tuesday not the spectacular one time jet with the friends to go for the whatever
with the friends to go for the whatever whatever not the UFC power slap launch
whatever not the UFC power slap launch party with staring at the back of Dan
party with staring at the back of Dan Bill's arean dirty mullet like not that
Bill's arean dirty mullet like not that you want your average Tuesday to look
you want your average Tuesday to look the way that you want most of your life
the way that you want most of your life to do and when I think about the days
to do and when I think about the days that I look back on at the end of my day
that I look back on at the end of my day and think like today was a good day
and think like today was a good day invariably it's the same few things it's
invariably it's the same few things it's I worked very hard on something that I
I worked very hard on something that I felt was worth doing I worked out and I
felt was worth doing I worked out and I spent time with people that I enjoy
spent time with people that I enjoy being around if I do those three things
being around if I do those three things I had a good day and so that's been my
I had a good day and so that's been my you know Alex's simple blueprint for
you know Alex's simple blueprint for doing things and I think the point that
doing things and I think the point that you were making earlier I think it's
you were making earlier I think it's worth hitting on again which is just
worth hitting on again which is just that like most people's definition of
that like most people's definition of work is a negative one which is why they
work is a negative one which is why they abhor it which is also why they
abhor it which is also why they misunderstand so many people who quote
misunderstand so many people who quote I'll say quote here are successful ahead
I'll say quote here are successful ahead of them or whatever is that both people
of them or whatever is that both people one person says the word work and the
one person says the word work and the other person hears the word
other person hears the word pain and
pain and so the first step to like becoming more
so the first step to like becoming more successful is understanding the language
successful is understanding the language that the people who are successful are
that the people who are successful are using they're actually defining the word
using they're actually defining the word differently and
differently and so whatever that thing is that you
so whatever that thing is that you actually enjoy doing where you lose
actually enjoy doing where you lose track of time when you're in it even if
track of time when you're in it even if it's challenging but usually it is
it's challenging but usually it is challenging right like it's not easy
challenging right like it's not easy because then it's boring right which is
because then it's boring right which is also why the uncertainty thing is so key
also why the uncertainty thing is so key right to not knowing if it's going to if
right to not knowing if it's going to if it's going to work or not you are going
it's going to work or not you are going to work though either way um is that the
to work though either way um is that the people who are quote addicted to work
people who are quote addicted to work make it easy to be addicted to work
make it easy to be addicted to work because
because they do things worth doing and I think a
they do things worth doing and I think a lot of it is coming down to making sure
lot of it is coming down to making sure that you take the few precious seconds
that you take the few precious seconds that we have to do the few things that
that we have to do the few things that are worth doing for the rest of your
are worth doing for the rest of your life the more I listen to this the
life the more I listen to this the better my life gets if they don't have
better my life gets if they don't have what you want don't listen to what they
what you want don't listen to what they say there's no greater waste of time
say there's no greater waste of time than justifying your actions to people
than justifying your actions to people have a life you don't
have a life you don't want that was a message to my younger
want that was a message to my younger self but um I remember I got in an well
self but um I remember I got in an well I won't I won't call it out
I won't I won't call it out um let me see how I can say this the
um let me see how I can say this the right way
um you know what I'll just say it I'll whitewash the names so I was with a
whitewash the names so I was with a family member and we're all around the
family member and we're all around the kitchen table it's during the holidays
kitchen table it's during the holidays because I don't go home very much and
because I don't go home very much and they kind of started attacking me um and
they kind of started attacking me um and they're like I would never live your
they're like I would never live your life you're so unbalanced like attacking
life you're so unbalanced like attacking and I was like what are you
and I was like what are you saying
saying and she
said I I just would never do that and I was like all right well what part of my
was like all right well what part of my life is unbalanced I was like do you
life is unbalanced I was like do you feel like my health is unbalanced I was
feel like my health is unbalanced I was like do you feel like my marriage is
like do you feel like my marriage is unbalanced I was like feel like my
unbalanced I was like feel like my finances are unbalanced I was like what
finances are unbalanced I was like what part of my life do you feel like is out
part of my life do you feel like is out of whack she was like you you know I'm
of whack she was like you you know I'm I'm not as good with words as you are
I'm not as good with words as you are and that was the and I was like okay so
and that was the and I was like okay so the fact that you can't make a logical
the fact that you can't make a logical argument I'm not going to continue how
argument I'm not going to continue how how that conversation went but the the
how that conversation went but the the tldr of that was I really thought a lot
tldr of that was I really thought a lot about it and it came down
about it and it came down to I wouldn't live your
to I wouldn't live your life and my response to that is good
life and my response to that is good don't it's not your life it's mine live
don't it's not your life it's mine live yours the way you want and I wouldn't
yours the way you want and I wouldn't live your life either and so what ends
live your life either and so what ends up happening is they become these
up happening is they become these statements these projections that are
statements these projections that are not actually real now on some level
not actually real now on some level maybe they were saying that because
maybe they were saying that because there was Envy in that aspect of like
there was Envy in that aspect of like wishing that was there you know that
wishing that was there you know that they were living that life but in this
they were living that life but in this particular instance I don't think it was
particular instance I don't think it was I think they genuinely were trying to
I think they genuinely were trying to help it was a family member and they
help it was a family member and they thought they were that I was being
thought they were that I was being misguided
misguided this is this is an intervention let me
this is this is an intervention let me hold the talking pillow Alex we've all
hold the talking pillow Alex we've all come together because we care about you
come together because we care about you we really feel like we need to have a
we really feel like we need to have a conversation here it's exactly what it
conversation here it's exactly what it was and I got so
was and I got so angry you no so angry no and you know
angry you no so angry no and you know you can hear Leela like patting my back
you can hear Leela like patting my back like it's I'm like see you can feel the
like it's I'm like see you can feel the heat coming off of me as like I go
heat coming off of me as like I go upstairs and how how dare she you know
upstairs and how how dare she you know but it really just came down to like her
but it really just came down to like her just saying I don't want to live your
just saying I don't want to live your life and I think the answer to that
life and I think the answer to that question is good don't and I think that
question is good don't and I think that has been one of the things that has
has been one of the things that has diffused so many of these like hateful
diffused so many of these like hateful comments where people dehumanize you or
comments where people dehumanize you or whatever and make you into this ideal
whatever and make you into this ideal that they reject it's like you're right
that they reject it's like you're right one of the things that I had a mentor
one of the things that I had a mentor taught me to say is like when you're in
taught me to say is like when you're in an AR if somebody's like it's like
an AR if somebody's like it's like you're you're a terrible person blah
you're you're a terrible person blah blah blah blah blah you just say you're
blah blah blah blah you just say you're right and and then they have no they
right and and then they have no they have they have nothing to say and then
have they have nothing to say and then you just move on with your life and so
you just move on with your life and so like in that way it's acceptance but of
like in that way it's acceptance but of like your your idea of who I am that you
like your your idea of who I am that you hate so much I accept it I can live with
hate so much I accept it I can live with that even but like we don't want to
that even but like we don't want to think what if I am I don't need to
think what if I am I don't need to believe that but I can do that and I can
believe that but I can do that and I can end the conversation so I'm taking
end the conversation so I'm taking improv classes at the moment because I'm
improv classes at the moment because I'm doing my first live shows in the UK and
doing my first live shows in the UK and Island oh this live tour uh thank you
Island oh this live tour uh thank you yeah uh everything's this uh no solo
yeah uh everything's this uh no solo stood on stage for 90 minutes comedy no
stood on stage for 90 minutes comedy no just lessons insights and stuff probably
just lessons insights and stuff probably some that I've learned today uh
some that I've learned today uh anyway we we released it and every show
anyway we we released it and every show sold out and then got venue upgraded and
sold out and then got venue upgraded and then sold out again in less than 45
then sold out again in less than 45 minutes across all of the dates which
minutes across all of the dates which was great but then scary because I now
was great but then scary because I now had to speak to like three times as many
had to speak to like three times as many people per night for additional nights
people per night for additional nights on top of what I thought anyway I'm
on top of what I thought anyway I'm doing improv in improv there is one rule
doing improv in improv there is one rule and the rule is don't punk the game so
and the rule is don't punk the game so uh we're doing some exercise where we
uh we're doing some exercise where we need to make silly noises as we pass
need to make silly noises as we pass this imaginary energy around and I need
this imaginary energy around and I need to go like Bo and send it back and you
to go like Bo and send it back and you need to go whoosh and pass it on and all
need to go whoosh and pass it on and all this sort of the one thing that
this sort of the one thing that you're not allowed to do is not make one
you're not allowed to do is not make one of the noises that's allowed yeah and I
of the noises that's allowed yeah and I really think about punking the game an
really think about punking the game an awful lot and you see it happen in
awful lot and you see it happen in podcasts you see it happen on TV you see
podcasts you see it happen on TV you see it happen and it can be uh both
it happen and it can be uh both destructive and constructive but it's
destructive and constructive but it's always destructive to the people that
always destructive to the people that are trying to play the game and it can
are trying to play the game and it can sometimes be constructive to the person
sometimes be constructive to the person who is punking it so what you did is you
who is punking it so what you did is you punked the game there we are playing a
punked the game there we are playing a game of tennis we are hitting the ball
game of tennis we are hitting the ball back and forth here I go I hit the ball
back and forth here I go I hit the ball across the net
across the net and where is it is it hit it back hit it
and where is it is it hit it back hit it hit it back to me like this is the game
hit it back to me like this is the game that we're playing and you didn't move
that we're playing and you didn't move reciprocally back and forth you went
reciprocally back and forth you went orthogonally you went across on a
orthogonally you went across on a different axis and you're like I'm not
different axis and you're like I'm not playing this anymore this is a different
playing this anymore this is a different game I'm not
game I'm not bothered there's not even words to
bothered there's not even words to describe what that means now the way
describe what that means now the way that it can be destructive is especially
that it can be destructive is especially if you're having let's say a meaningful
if you're having let's say a meaningful conversation sometimes people who are
conversation sometimes people who are uncomfortable with getting into their
uncomfortable with getting into their emotions can use a variety of different
emotions can use a variety of different things they can be scathing they can be
things they can be scathing they can be mocking they can laugh you know because
mocking they can laugh you know because they don't want to sit with the
they don't want to sit with the discomfort of this particular part of
discomfort of this particular part of the convers
the convers that's punking the game in a way that I
that's punking the game in a way that I think is destructive both externally and
think is destructive both externally and internally that was one that was
internally that was one that was destructive externally it broke the game
destructive externally it broke the game but it was constructive internally and
but it was constructive internally and it is a
it is a way refusing to play by the rules that
way refusing to play by the rules that somebody else has set in a game that you
somebody else has set in a game that you didn't agree to is the best
didn't agree to is the best prophylactic against stepping into a
prophylactic against stepping into a situation that you do not want and it's
situation that you do not want and it's one of the things that wealth
one of the things that wealth affords and it's one of the things that
affords and it's one of the things that freedom affords and freedom is often
freedom affords and freedom is often Downstream from wealth remember George
Downstream from wealth remember George one of my really good friends been on
one of my really good friends been on the show like five times George ma
the show like five times George ma you'll follow him on Twitter he's
you'll follow him on Twitter he's phenomenal he was he was on Fox
phenomenal he was he was on Fox and Friends yesterday talking about his
and Friends yesterday talking about his cocaine phone and his kale phone like
cocaine phone and his kale phone like what the what world is this yeah I
what the what world is this yeah I remember before the first time that I
remember before the first time that I moved away to work I've been I've
moved away to work I've been I've traveled a lot but it was always in
traveled a lot but it was always in between work I never traveled to work Co
between work I never traveled to work Co happens world gets shut down just after
happens world gets shut down just after Halloween Boris tells all of the UK
Halloween Boris tells all of the UK we're going back into lockdown in 3 days
we're going back into lockdown in 3 days time and all flights are cancelled so I
time and all flights are cancelled so I messaged George and I was like I'm not
messaged George and I was like I'm not doing this I'm I let's go somewhere he
doing this I'm I let's go somewhere he wanted to go
wanted to go to I can't I can't even remember some
to I can't I can't even remember some Island that has 300,000 people on it and
Island that has 300,000 people on it and I was like why don't we do
I was like why don't we do Dubai it's a 5 hour flight the weather's
Dubai it's a 5 hour flight the weather's great I know people it'll be
great I know people it'll be fun it's not got 300,000 people on it
fun it's not got 300,000 people on it it'll be the
it'll be the Uber and I'll never forget what
Uber and I'll never forget what he replied to me with I got up and I
he replied to me with I got up and I paid £350 for my co fit toly test before
paid £350 for my co fit toly test before he was awake but he'd sent me a message
he was awake but he'd sent me a message the night before and this is what
the night before and this is what compelled me to do it he said what's the
compelled me to do it he said what's the point in having you Freedom if you
point in having you Freedom if you never say
never say you and I was like I was so fired up
you and I was like I was so fired up reading that message and I was like yeah
reading that message and I was like yeah why have I put all of this work in why
why have I put all of this work in why have I done all of these things if I
have I done all of these things if I don't ever Punk a game that I didn't
don't ever Punk a game that I didn't agree to be a part of I think this is
agree to be a part of I think this is really big if we go all the way back to
really big if we go all the way back to the earlier part of this podcast when
the earlier part of this podcast when you have the friends who are telling you
you have the friends who are telling you oh um must be nice or you think you're
oh um must be nice or you think you're better than us or oh so we can't drink
better than us or oh so we can't drink anymore that's when you can be like
yeah then what well then we wouldn't be friends you're not going to be friends
friends you're not going to be friends with them eventually anyways I promise
with them eventually anyways I promise you anyone who says that to you're not
you anyone who says that to you're not going to be friends with if you want to
going to be friends with if you want to ultimately become the person you want to
ultimately become the person you want to become they're only going to reject you
become they're only going to reject you harder and harder until eventually you
harder and harder until eventually you have nothing to share about and the only
have nothing to share about and the only thing that you'll talk about about is
thing that you'll talk about about is the past which by the way one of the
the past which by the way one of the great leading indicators of at least in
great leading indicators of at least in my opinion of a great way to know when
my opinion of a great way to know when to cut a friend is when they only talk
to cut a friend is when they only talk about your past and so punking the game
about your past and so punking the game and it's it's one of those really
and it's it's one of those really uncomfortable things the first time you
uncomfortable things the first time you do it but then you get more and more
do it but then you get more and more comfortable with it because they're like
comfortable with it because they're like I would never live your life and you're
I would never live your life and you're like I
know this relates to another one of yours don't trade your self-respect for
yours don't trade your self-respect for someone else's it's easy to lose theirs
someone else's it's easy to lose theirs hard to get yours back yeah but I would
hard to get yours back yeah but I would know but you would know yeah uh related
know but you would know yeah uh related to the sort of cynicism thing that we
to the sort of cynicism thing that we were talking about earlier on I call it
were talking about earlier on I call it the cynicism safety blanket that sour
the cynicism safety blanket that sour grapes at an existential level um I had
grapes at an existential level um I had Shan Puri on the show you know Sean
Shan Puri on the show you know Sean you've been on his you've been on my
you've been on his you've been on my first million uh he casually dropped
first million uh he casually dropped this I don't think this I don't think
this I don't think this I don't think his episode's going to be out before
his episode's going to be out before this goes um but it's money and said the
this goes um but it's money and said the cynics get to be right and the optimists
cynics get to be right and the optimists get to be
get to be rich and from you I think the Winner's
rich and from you I think the Winner's mindset sits in the uncomfortable place
mindset sits in the uncomfortable place between two surface level contradictions
between two surface level contradictions extreme paranoia in the present and
extreme paranoia in the present and unshakable faith in the future the
unshakable faith in the future the tension between the two makes someone
tension between the two makes someone hard to beat today and hard to outlast
hard to beat today and hard to outlast tomorrow the cynics get to be right and
tomorrow the cynics get to be right and the optimists get to be
the optimists get to be rich one of the biggest fallacies of the
rich one of the biggest fallacies of the advice from people who are in your
advice from people who are in your current situation is that that they are
current situation is that that they are right most of the time when you bring a
right most of the time when you bring a a girl
a girl home 99 times out of 100 when your
home 99 times out of 100 when your parents say she's not the girl I don't
parents say she's not the girl I don't like her she won't last they're right
like her she won't last they're right every single time except for the one
every single time except for the one time it matters and you end up marrying
time it matters and you end up marrying the person right like when they say like
the person right like when they say like you're not going to succeed like this
you're not going to succeed like this idea of yours it's not going to last and
idea of yours it's not going to last and they're right every single time except
they're right every single time except for the one time that matters when you
for the one time that matters when you hit it big and so it's one of those
hit it big and so it's one of those things where they are right more times
things where they are right more times but they are not more
but they are not more right so good yeah I
right so good yeah I um I wonder whether it's a function
um I wonder whether it's a function of all of our opinions being permanently
of all of our opinions being permanently etched in stone on social media that
etched in stone on social media that it's very easy to seem smart to have a
it's very easy to seem smart to have a heterodox idea if you go against the
heterodox idea if you go against the mainstream because it's romantic oh I I
mainstream because it's romantic oh I I I I had this alternative I I had this
I I had this alternative I I had this negative I'm not I'm not like one of
negative I'm not I'm not like one of those sheep I'll I'll I'll believe that
those sheep I'll I'll I'll believe that things are going to be worse than they
things are going to be worse than they are and then if it turns out better
are and then if it turns out better guess what I set your expectations super
guess what I set your expectations super low congratulations you can thank me
low congratulations you can thank me later you're like that is distilled
later you're like that is distilled down British culture at its worst yeah
down British culture at its worst yeah is low
is low expectations low expectations delivered
expectations low expectations delivered through
satirical cynicism yeah why are you doing that that's lame that's for losers
doing that that's lame that's for losers that's something that we wouldn't do you
that's something that we wouldn't do you should stop doing the different thing
should stop doing the different thing tall poppy you're the one that gets cut
tall poppy you're the one that gets cut down
down and it's all that it's like all it it
and it's all that it's like all it it shows to me
shows to me now is a kind of group
now is a kind of group think almost like the worst kind of
think almost like the worst kind of mental telepathy where everybody
mental telepathy where everybody believes the most unuseful thoughts that
believes the most unuseful thoughts that everybody else has
everybody else has yeah at
yeah at scale and all it does is lower the bar
scale and all it does is lower the bar that you need to get
up I think it's that that you're right thing which is someone says that's lame
thing which is someone says that's lame that sucks blah blah blah and you just
that sucks blah blah blah and you just say like you're right it
say like you're right it does you just keep punking the game like
does you just keep punking the game like when anyone comes to try like like
when anyone comes to try like like they're they're playing a different game
they're they're playing a different game than you so you shouldn't try and play
than you so you shouldn't try and play by their rules because they're going to
by their rules because they're going to try and get you to play their game so
try and get you to play their game so that they can beat you at the game which
that they can beat you at the game which is the status game of that little circle
is the status game of that little circle but you're playing a much wider game
but you're playing a much wider game that includes more players and so even
that includes more players and so even though locally you have these your your
though locally you have these your your incoming information that you're taking
incoming information that you're taking in is disproportionate to people that
in is disproportionate to people that you're not actually playing against and
you're not actually playing against and so it's basically just noise it's
so it's basically just noise it's irrelevant because if you look on a long
irrelevant because if you look on a long enough time Horizon the likel that
enough time Horizon the likel that you're act like I mean again I think
you're act like I mean again I think about death a lot but the the idea that
about death a lot but the the idea that when I die people will be dividing up my
when I die people will be dividing up my assets arguing over who gets what
assets arguing over who gets what there's going to be a caterer at my
there's going to be a caterer at my funeral some people won't make it
funeral some people won't make it because something came up and they got
because something came up and they got busy and then the few people that are
busy and then the few people that are there are probably no one that I have in
there are probably no one that I have in my life right now and the fact that
my life right now and the fact that every single person that I have in my
every single person that I have in my life might not even make it to the
life might not even make it to the funeral to speak over me while I'm dead
funeral to speak over me while I'm dead it's like why on Earth would I listen to
it's like why on Earth would I listen to While I'm Alive like they can't even
While I'm Alive like they can't even make it to probably the single most
make it to probably the single most important in you know personal day of
important in you know personal day of someone's life is someone's funeral
someone's life is someone's funeral right the one time you can pay your last
right the one time you can pay your last respect and they don't even do that and
respect and they don't even do that and so it's like why would I give any weight
so it's like why would I give any weight to what these people are doing when
to what these people are doing when they're not even going to be there on
they're not even going to be there on the day that matters most and 6 months
the day that matters most and 6 months later they're not even remember who I
later they're not even remember who I was and anybody who's had a death in
was and anybody who's had a death in their family recently knows that in the
their family recently knows that in the moment it's terrible for you and then
moment it's terrible for you and then six months later life moves on but the
six months later life moves on but the thing is is that we just never paint
thing is is that we just never paint ourselves as the person who dies but to
ourselves as the person who dies but to me that's incredibly freeing because
me that's incredibly freeing because then it's like if 6 months after I'm
then it's like if 6 months after I'm dead no one is going to say my name no
dead no one is going to say my name no one is going to remember what I did then
one is going to remember what I did then No One's Gonna then it doesn't matter
No One's Gonna then it doesn't matter what I do today and I think that some
what I do today and I think that some people see it as really uh hopeless but
people see it as really uh hopeless but I see it as very hopeful because it
I see it as very hopeful because it means we have absolute freedom and we
means we have absolute freedom and we can do crazy like why have you
can do crazy like why have you money if you can't say you yeah
money if you can't say you yeah learning isn't a spectator sport it
learning isn't a spectator sport it comes from doing which means if you're
comes from doing which means if you're not doing the stuff you consume every
not doing the stuff you consume every day you're not learning you're just
day you're not learning you're just procrastinating
procrastinating oo this is fun all right so I'm going to
oo this is fun all right so I'm going to Define some
Define some terms
terms learning let me say this
way intelligence means rate of learning like that's what that's how
learning like that's what that's how remember I talk about operationalizing
remember I talk about operationalizing words so rate of learning is
words so rate of learning is intelligence so then you which means
intelligence so then you which means it's a rate not a not an attribute as an
it's a rate not a not an attribute as an aside which then means you have to
aside which then means you have to Define learning learning means same
Define learning learning means same condition new Behavior so if I hold up a
condition new Behavior so if I hold up a red card and then I slap you and then I
red card and then I slap you and then I hold up a red card again and then you
hold up a red card again and then you duck you've learned if you wake up every
duck you've learned if you wake up every day and life shows you a red card and
day and life shows you a red card and then you don't duck and you don't change
then you don't duck and you don't change then you have learned nothing and so if
then you have learned nothing and so if you go to a weekend and you go to a
you go to a weekend and you go to a workshop and then the next day you go
workshop and then the next day you go back and you do the exact same
back and you do the exact same activities in the same conditions and
activities in the same conditions and you have no new Behavior it means you
you have no new Behavior it means you learned nothing it also means you're
learned nothing it also means you're stupid because it means your rate of
stupid because it means your rate of learning is slow so if someone is
learning is slow so if someone is intelligent I can show them the red card
intelligent I can show them the red card and on the first go they change their
and on the first go they change their behavior and so by defining intelligence
behavior and so by defining intelligence that way and defining learning that way
that way and defining learning that way it allowed me to start thinking well I
it allowed me to start thinking well I want to be smart and this circumstance
want to be smart and this circumstance had this outcome last time and so the
had this outcome last time and so the next time I see this circumstance this
next time I see this circumstance this red card I'm going to change my behavior
red card I'm going to change my behavior and so when we consume the information
and so when we consume the information that you have on this podcast or
that you have on this podcast or whatever it is there's probably a
whatever it is there's probably a circumstance whether it's a conversation
circumstance whether it's a conversation that you're supposed to have but you're
that you're supposed to have but you're aren't having it's a decision that you
aren't having it's a decision that you need to make but you're putting off
need to make but you're putting off that's the red card it comes up again
that's the red card it comes up again and the question is whether you're going
and the question is whether you're going to get slapped or you're going to duck
to get slapped or you're going to duck and that's whether you know whether you
and that's whether you know whether you learned or not and every time you get
learned or not and every time you get shown the red card and you do the same
shown the red card and you do the same exact thing you just prove to yourself
exact thing you just prove to yourself that your rate of learning is slower and
that your rate of learning is slower and so for me I want to have that evidence
so for me I want to have that evidence that I learn quickly and for me that's
that I learn quickly and for me that's why like people see me as ruthless as
why like people see me as ruthless as you said because I'm willing to cut
you said because I'm willing to cut relationships because if I think that
relationships because if I think that I'm going to eventually cut the
I'm going to eventually cut the relationship then why would I not cut it
relationship then why would I not cut it today because I might as might as well
today because I might as might as well start enjoying the benefits of cutting
start enjoying the benefits of cutting that relationship as soon as humanly
that relationship as soon as humanly possible Alex hosi ladies and gentlemen
possible Alex hosi ladies and gentlemen dude I love you the bits I I genuinely
dude I love you the bits I I genuinely do uh I I think the work that you put
do uh I I think the work that you put out the messages that you put out are
out the messages that you put out are very very needed and yeah I could do
very very needed and yeah I could do this for days we could run this back
this for days we could run this back literally for days and days and days so
literally for days and days and days so uh this is going to go out after your
uh this is going to go out after your big event where should people go to
big event where should people go to support you to learn more about the
support you to learn more about the that you do and and what have you got
that you do and and what have you got coming up well I've got my uh my next
coming up well I've got my uh my next book $100 million leads uh the first
book $100 million leads uh the first book is $100 million offers which
book is $100 million offers which answers the question what should I sell
answers the question what should I sell so a lot of people are like what should
so a lot of people are like what should I sell it tells you step by step
I sell it tells you step by step everything you do like worksheets I have
everything you do like worksheets I have a free course that goes with it you
a free course that goes with it you don't even have to opt in it's on my
don't even have to opt in it's on my site acquisition. comom you can just
site acquisition. comom you can just start watching it um I think the Kindle
start watching it um I think the Kindle for offers is $1.99 like try to make I
for offers is $1.99 like try to make I mean our mission is to make real
mean our mission is to make real business education accessible for
business education accessible for everyone um $100 million leads has been
everyone um $100 million leads has been 6 hours a day 600 a.m. to 12 12 uh 12
6 hours a day 600 a.m. to 12 12 uh 12 p.m. every day for the last two years so
p.m. every day for the last two years so the first six hours of every day has
the first six hours of every day has been dedicated to writing that book
been dedicated to writing that book which is why I have 19 drafts four four
which is why I have 19 drafts four four four full rewrites there's 106
four full rewrites there's 106 hand-drawn images um that went in the
hand-drawn images um that went in the book that I put in there um and I'm
book that I put in there um and I'm going to be releasing it at this event
going to be releasing it at this event that Chris and I were talking about um
that Chris and I were talking about um so you're going to be listening to this
so you're going to be listening to this after that event um and so you can go on
after that event um and so you can go on Amazon it'll be available there or you
Amazon it'll be available there or you can look at acquisition. comom because
can look at acquisition. comom because they'll be a course and things that you
they'll be a course and things that you can go through free materials and that
can go through free materials and that the the100 million leads answers the
the the100 million leads answers the question who do I sell it to and so you
question who do I sell it to and so you need leads right so you're like okay
need leads right so you're like okay great I have the thing I'm going to sell
great I have the thing I'm going to sell who how do I go get people to find out
who how do I go get people to find out about it and so a lot of the things that
about it and so a lot of the things that I have in the book are defining some of
I have in the book are defining some of the terms that people hear a lot which
the terms that people hear a lot which is like what is a lead what is
is like what is a lead what is advertising right advertising is the
advertising right advertising is the process of making known and so if no one
process of making known and so if no one knows about your stuff no one can buy it
knows about your stuff no one can buy it and so the reverse of that is everyone
and so the reverse of that is everyone knows about your stuff and that book
knows about your stuff and that book will show you how to get everyone to
will show you how to get everyone to know about your stuff and the reason I
know about your stuff and the reason I made the event as big as I did was
made the event as big as I did was because I used every advertising method
because I used every advertising method in the book to advertise the book itself
in the book to advertise the book itself so offers was an example of a grand slam
so offers was an example of a grand slam offer was how do you make something so
offer was how do you make something so good everyone feels stupid saying no
good everyone feels stupid saying no which is the sub headline of the book
which is the sub headline of the book and so offers in in of itself was a
and so offers in in of itself was a grand slam offer which is what I argue
grand slam offer which is what I argue that everyone should have it was a $2
that everyone should have it was a $2 book that it comes with a course it
book that it comes with a course it comes with worksheets all these things
comes with worksheets all these things and $100 million leads the way that I
and $100 million leads the way that I wanted to exemplify and meta show
wanted to exemplify and meta show demonstrate that the concept of the book
demonstrate that the concept of the book work today and will work tomorrow and
work today and will work tomorrow and will work in a 100 years is because
will work in a 100 years is because humans haven't changed and so the
humans haven't changed and so the process of making known Remains the Same
process of making known Remains the Same because our hardwiring is the same so
because our hardwiring is the same so you don't need to know the Instagram
you don't need to know the Instagram hack because my first ever advertisement
hack because my first ever advertisement was on Facebook and I don't do anything
was on Facebook and I don't do anything on Facebook now and it doesn't matter
on Facebook now and it doesn't matter and as soon as YouTube and podcast and
and as soon as YouTube and podcast and all those things die the principles
all those things die the principles remain the same despite the platforms
remain the same despite the platforms changing and so that is what I wrote
changing and so that is what I wrote each of these books because I want them
each of these books because I want them to be around in 100 years and that's why
to be around in 100 years and that's why I spent so long on them um but I'm very
I spent so long on them um but I'm very proud of the book and I think it's my
proud of the book and I think it's my best work to date Alex I appreciate you
best work to date Alex I appreciate you thank you man thank you oh hey if you
thank you man thank you oh hey if you enjoyed that episode with Alex hosi then
enjoyed that episode with Alex hosi then press here for the one we did 6 months
press here for the one we did 6 months ago which goes for a full another 2
ago which goes for a full another 2 hours go on press it
Clique em qualquer texto ou marcação de tempo para ir diretamente àquele momento do vídeo
Compartilhar:
A maioria das transcrições fica pronta em menos de 5 segundos
Cópia com um cliqueMais de 125 idiomasPesquisar no conteúdoIr para marcações de tempo
Cole a URL do YouTube
Insira o link de qualquer vídeo do YouTube para obter a transcrição completa
Formulário de extração de transcrição
A maioria das transcrições fica pronta em menos de 5 segundos
Instale nossa extensão para Chrome
Obtenha transcrições na hora sem sair do YouTube. Instale nossa extensão para Chrome e acesse com um clique a transcrição de qualquer vídeo direto na página de reprodução.
Extensão Chrome