Effective negotiation hinges on skillful questioning, which not only elicits crucial information but also subtly guides the conversation and introduces ideas without direct confrontation.
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negotiations thrive
on information and questions
are a way to elicit information
so in this video i want to talk about
how to use questions
questions don't just elicit information
they're a way of dropping ideas into a conversation
conversation
that is less challenging less threatening
threatening
than making statements questions are a
way of directing
attention and steering the direction of
a conversation
so as a negotiator you need to become
adept at asking good questions
that elicit the information you want and
change the direction of the negotiation
down a fruitful avenue
but here's something important don't ask
a question
unless you are prepared to take the time
to listen
to the answer and to listen to it
with an open mind we're going to look
at eight sorts of questions that you can use
use
as a negotiator and the first
is an open question an open question is
a great way to start a dialogue off
an open question sets no constraints
on how the other person will respond to it
it
tell me about your objectives all that's doing
doing
is raising the topic of objectives and
inviting the other person
questions that start with things like
what and how and why tend to be
open questions but be aware that it is
wise to avoid questions that begin with why
why
because why questions are all about
values and reasons which are very
challenging to somebody
unless you've got a strong relationship
then why can set you off on the wrong foot
foot
once you've asked a big open question or
maybe a few and there's
a good dialogue going and you learn
something of value
and the conversation is in the right
zone it's time to narrow the zone down
to either elicit more detailed
information or to further focus the direction
direction
of the negotiation and we do that with
probing questions
questions that ask for more information
about something
how does this work what in particular
you're interested in
tell me more about probing questions
select from the wide open arena of the
open question
one part to focus on and take the
conversation down that direction
and of course it is possible having
asked some
probing questions to come back to the
answer you got to the open question and
then to probe in a new direction
the next type of question is a closed
question and a closed question
sets very tight limits on the range of answers
answers
which are acceptable and the classic
close question is a yes or no question
we'll come back to that later on in this video
video
but be aware that multiple choice or alternate
alternate
questions are strictly speaking closed
in that they
close down the range of answers in a
very prescriptive way
do you want a b or c
that's a closed question because there
is no other answer other than a b
or c what's the time
is a closed question because the only
proper answer
we use closed questions to gain
precision on our
understanding to confirm what we think
we've heard
close questions draw a conversation to
an end
they tell us we've got to the end of the
road on this particular direction
we're confirming where we are we're
gathering data
and they allow us to document something
with confidence and certainty
and as a negotiator they are great
for ending a stage in a negotiation and then
then
for documenting the answer you get to
the closed question
when we looked at closing a negotiation
we saw that alternate questions are a
great way to
close would you like delivery this week
or next week is an alternate question it
is closed
it invites one of two answers both of
which are satisfactory
the multiple choice question is a great way
way
to get a specific answer to a particular question
question
the next type of question is a
hypothetical question
or a reflective question it sets the question
question
in the context of something which either
isn't true
or isn't true yet if we were to do this
what would your response be suppose that
this happened
how would we deal with it if we made you
this concession what could you offer in return
return
what if we did this all of these
hypothetical questions
enable you to craft solutions
to the kind of tricky problems that we
find in negotiations
of course in a real negotiation these hypotheticals
hypotheticals
need to be rooted in possibility rather than
than
fantasy but they are a great way of
exploring the space of options
that you and your counterparty have to
look for
solutions that you can both agree to
i also want to discuss two types of
questions that you should avoid
i'm not going to say never use them
because i can't predict
every circumstance but i can't think of
a good situation to use either of these
types of questions and the first
is a leading question a leading question presupposes
presupposes
you know the answer and tries to direct
the other person to giving the answer
that you want
the problem with leading questions which
sound like they might be useful in the
negotiating context
for directing the negotiation
is that if you have used the leaning
question to manipulate the other person
to giving the answer that you want
then at best you will get the deal and then
then
later there will be some form of buyer's remorse
remorse
and they will regret the deal that
you've agreed
but more likely they will spot that it's
a leading question
and they will resent the fact that you
try to manipulate them
and their level of trust for you as a
negotiator will go down
do not use leading questions
of slightly less intensity i would also
say do not use
multiple questions multiple questions
are questions where you wrap a lot of
different questions into one
big question what would happen if we did this
this
i'd like to suggest that what would you
do then and what are your thoughts on
this other thing now each of those three questions
