0:04 sex is how your husband feels loved and
0:07 respected your husband is not a
0:11 woman he is a man and sex is incredibly
0:13 important to a man and it's where we
0:17 miss each other and and and and and just
0:20 go totally different ways as as as
0:24 husband and wives that if you ask a a
0:27 good man what what are the top three
0:30 things that are most important to him in
0:32 a marriage and in a relationship sex is
0:35 going to be number one if not number one
0:38 two or three if you ask a
0:41 woman her you could ask a woman what are
0:44 your top 10 most important things to you
0:45 in a marriage or a
0:48 relationship sex might not even make the
0:51 list it might be like number eight nine
0:55 or 10 maybe maybe so we have to
0:58 understand as women that sex is
1:00 incredibly important to men and we know
1:03 that that's why we use sex as a weapon
1:06 and we use sex to manipulate and control
1:09 and we all know how we do that and have
1:12 done that and what happens is that we
1:15 begin to treat our husbands like
1:17 neanderthals and that there's something
1:21 wrong with them that sex is so important
1:23 to them and we want want to change them
1:26 and make them so wrong for just who they
1:30 are as a man but you have to understand
1:34 when you chose to get married and and
1:36 you made vows and you made a a
1:38 commitment to your
1:42 husband you took on the role and
1:45 responsibility to have sex in your
1:49 marriage and enjoy it as a part of a
1:52 healthy relationship women need to
1:55 understand and and this was well let me
1:58 finish that thought women need to
2:00 understand that sex
2:03 is not an option and it is not something
2:10 inconsequential sex is part of a healthy
2:13 relationship and marriage and this is
2:14 one of the things I've been reflecting
2:18 on because when I my husband and I got
2:20 engaged I had
2:23 already started withdrawing and putting
2:26 a wall up around sex when in the
2:28 beginning of our relationship and dating
2:32 and and leading up to us getting married
2:35 we had a a a very healthy enjoyable sex
2:37 life and then I threw my walls up and
2:41 that's very very common for us as women
2:45 and it was it was a a really really big
2:48 challenge in in even just my early 30s
2:50 which is so sad to me now and I had to
2:54 learn an important part of my healing uh
2:56 in my marriage um and and through this
3:00 decade of my 30s in the beginning was
3:02 overcoming the walls I had built around
3:05 sex in my marriage and and recognizing
3:08 that I couldn't have sex with my husband
3:11 as a Duty or a chore or an
3:14 obligation when we have sex from a place
3:18 of obligation or as a chore we feel used
3:20 we feel resentful if we're doing what
3:22 we're supposed to do that's a Wonder
3:24 actually a wonderful example of being
3:29 nice is is doing sex to to check the box
3:32 and and say done maybe I bought myself a
3:34 week or two and then shutting down
3:38 that's not okay in a marriage it's not
3:41 that's a a cruel cruel way to treat your
3:43 husband who is a man in which this is
3:46 very important to him so
3:49 ladies let me make it very very clear
3:53 you cannot have a healthy marriage you
3:56 cannot have a healthy
3:59 relationship if you are not having sex
4:00 with your husband
4:04 husband or you are shut down to sex and
4:07 doing it as an obligation in a
4:11 chore it's not okay and and you can't
4:13 have a healthy relationship relationship
4:16 or a healthy marriage from that place we
4:21 all know sex is part of a healthy
4:24 relationship and and and here is
4:26 something that is very important
4:30 ladies we all enjoy sex
4:31 if you remember when you met your
4:34 husband or before you met your husband
4:36 and you were dating and having different
4:37 relationships with
4:41 men we couldn't wait we couldn't wait to
4:44 get together and meet up for a date and
4:46 and and know where that that was going
4:49 to lead and and we can reflect back to
4:51 the beginning of our relationship before
4:53 we got engaged before we got married and
4:55 we were in the the
5:00 newness we loved and enjoy having sex we
5:01 begin to put our walls up in it I'm not
5:03 going to get too much into that but I I
5:06 do want you all to know trigger
5:08 warning we're going to be talking or I'm
5:11 going to be talking a lot more about our
5:13 relationship with sex as women and the
5:15 importance of it in a marriage and how
5:17 to overcome the walls that we have built
5:19 around it and how to overcome the
5:22 withholding of sex that that we have put
5:24 into place in our marriage and I'm also
5:26 going to be talking about how everything
5:29 we've been taught by the experts about
5:30 sex is
5:33 wrong that we are not Ovens that need to
5:36 be warmed up first that's another video
5:39 for another time but it's really really
5:41 important we have been fed so many lies
5:45 and so many myths and so many so much
5:48 misinformation about sex as women and
5:50 I'm excited to share my journey because
5:52 it's been a huge Journey uh and and
5:55 wonderful journey in my marriage one of
5:57 the things I'm most proud of and my
6:00 husband is most appreciative of
6:04 um that I have um healed and overcome in
6:07 myself and I I'm excited to be sharing
6:08 that so we're going to be talking more
6:11 about that on the channel but that's the
6:12 the number two thing your husband really
6:15 wish you knew that that sex is how he
6:17 feels loved and respected and that it's
6:19 not an option in marriage that when we
6:22 made those vows that's the commitment we
6:24 made it's part of a healthy relationship
6:27 and when as women we can reconnect with
6:30 the fact that we enjoy sex too then it's
6:32 something we do for ourselves and enjoy for
6:33 for
6:36 ourselves that we get the benefit of it
6:38 and our husbands get the benefit of it
6:41 but a key piece is we really do have to
6:43 remember that we enjoy it and not have
6:45 sex for our husbands as something to
6:47 check off the list just because it's IM
6:51 important to them they can feel that we
6:53 have to learn to be there and be engaged
6:55 and enjoy it for ourselves which is all
6:58 our husbands want and then we don't have
7:00 the resentment or feeling used or
7:03 feeling um that that's all we're good
7:05 for or that's what we're supposed to do
7:07 we can be in it for ourselves and our
7:09 husbands get the benefit and you can
7:11 have a healthy healthy sex life in your
7:14 marriage which is a key piece key
7:16 important piece to having being a good
