0:02 do you ever find yourself constantly
0:04 busy even when you don't need to be what
0:06 if this constant business isn't just
0:09 about getting things done but about
0:11 avoiding something deeper in this
0:13 episode we'll explore how overworking
0:15 and constant productivity can be an
0:18 unconscious form of avoidance why it
0:21 feels so rewarding and addictive and
0:29 Behavior welcome to cly coping my name
0:30 is tati Garcia and I'm a licensed
0:32 therapist and Coach specializing in
0:34 helping High Achievers overcome anxiety
0:37 burnout and overwhelm if this topic
0:38 interests you then please like subscribe
0:40 and hit the notification Bell so you be
0:42 notified every time I release a new
0:44 episode thank you so much for tuning in
0:45 constantly being productive and
0:48 overworking can be an unconscious form
0:52 of avoidance especially in somebody who
0:55 is high achieving overachieving or high
0:57 performing I like to refer to it as the
1:00 overs so these types of individuals will
1:05 often overwork over prepare overthink
1:09 over you name it because there is this
1:11 constant drive and especially in the
1:13 types of individuals that I specialize
1:16 in supporting who are those who are
1:18 struggling with what's known as high
1:20 functioning anxiety and so those are
1:22 individuals who appear High achieving
1:24 and successful on the outside but on the
1:26 inside they are struggling with anxiety
1:28 and this intense fear of failure and
1:30 fear of judgment or negative
1:32 consequences that is often propelling
1:34 them forward into doing more so there's
1:36 this worry often about dropping the ball
1:40 or if I don't prepare enough then things
1:42 are going to go wrong or I'm going to be
1:44 seen as incompetent or people are going
1:47 to judge me negatively so it's this fear
1:49 and worry and guilt that are often
1:54 driving this kind of endless behavior of
1:57 overdoing things and this often results
2:01 in a lack of self-care and and a lack of
2:03 just being able to relax and allow
2:05 yourself to actually enjoy your life but
2:07 there's this constant feeling that you
2:10 need to be productive and doing more and
2:12 this also ties into the fact that often
2:15 times these types of individuals will
2:17 attach their
2:20 selfworth or how worthy or valuable they
2:22 think they are as a human to how much
2:25 they are getting done so if you feel as
2:27 though you need to accomplish more or
2:30 check more things on your list in order
2:32 to feel like you're good enough or in
2:34 order to avoid this feeling of I'm a
2:37 lazy person then you could be stuck in
2:39 this cycle of just constantly doing
2:43 producing performing achieving and not
2:45 allowing yourself to actually rest
2:48 recharge take a step back and do what we
2:50 all need to do as humans and by the way
2:52 if you're somebody who is curious about
2:54 high functioning anxiety you're not sure
2:56 whether or not you have it I have a free
2:58 quiz that you can take to help you
2:59 identify whether or not you have high
3:01 functioning anxiety along with the next
3:03 steps that you can take to help you to
3:04 manage and overcome it you can take this
3:07 quiz by going to HFA
3:08 quiz.com and here's the thing about
3:12 being productive and constantly busy and
3:14 overworking is that it can create this
3:17 temporary sense of accomplishment like
3:19 it feels good to check things off of
3:21 your list and it feels good to get
3:24 things off of your plate however this is
3:27 often shortlived and then it follows
3:29 with oh now there's more on my list that
3:31 I need to do or let me just get these
3:33 next few things done and then I'll be
3:35 able to relax and it kind of turns into
3:37 this endless cycle that you find that
3:40 you may never get the time to relax
3:42 because there's always going to be more
3:44 and you're not necessarily relishing in
3:46 and celebrating the accomplishments that
3:49 you are engaging in and here's the thing
3:51 when you're staying busy it can actually
3:53 help to distract you from confronting
3:56 your uncomfortable thoughts or emotions
3:59 maybe underneath when you find and this
4:00 is something that I find a lot of
4:01 clients that I help when they actually
4:04 do sit down to relax there is this inner
4:06 critic that comes up like oh you should
4:08 be doing more or what's wrong with you
4:10 or you're not good enough and so staying
4:13 busy helps you to avoid confronting
4:14 those thoughts which can be really
4:17 uncomfortable and disconcerting and it
4:20 also can be the underlying emotions of
4:24 the guilt or the worry or the feeling
4:27 down and being hard on yourself that can
4:31 be underneath this product ity that
4:33 you're kind of just covering up with
4:34 these accomplishments of checking things
4:37 off a list so I touched on this a little
4:39 bit but what are you really avoiding
4:41 when you're in this place of constant
4:44 productivity it's often times fear
4:47 anxiety guilt or any other uncomfortable
4:49 emotions that are under the surface
4:52 here's the thing we many of us I know
4:54 that I wasn't growing up weren't taught
4:57 the skills in order to manage our
4:59 emotions in order to process and work
5:01 through things and this is an essential
5:03 skill of Being Human because emotions
5:05 are something that are inescapable we
5:07 can't just avoid them and say I don't
5:09 want to feel this way and brush it under
5:11 the rug and then have there be no
5:13 consequences our emotions are something
5:15 that need to be recognized and worked
5:17 through otherwise if they're not they're
5:19 going to continue unconsciously
5:22 affecting our behaviors our thoughts our
5:24 urges and everything else throughout the
5:26 day without you even recognizing it and
5:28 that's when you get stuck in this place
5:30 of autopilot and just continue to do
5:32 things because you're being driven by
5:34 your emotions without you even
5:36 recognizing it so increasing your
5:38 emotional awareness and intelligence is
5:41 a huge and impactful skill especially if
5:44 you're somebody who wants to actually
5:46 choose what you're doing in your life
5:49 who doesn't want to be driven by these
5:52 constant urges that might have been
5:54 conditioned in childhood or past
5:56 experiences but are no longer helpful or
5:58 beneficial for you so it could be the
6:00 fear of failure the fear of judgment
6:01 from others the fear of not meeting
6:03 expectations and when you're staying
6:06 busy you're avoiding this you're kind of
6:08 keeping this at Bay because you're
6:09 covering it up with a Band-Aid in the
6:11 sense that all right I'm accomplishing
6:12 more I'm getting things done that means
6:14 I'm not lazy that means I'm not going to
6:15 fail that means that people aren't going
6:18 to judge me negatively but in reality
6:20 you are continually judging yourself
6:22 negatively you are continually in this
6:23 place where you're feeling fearful and
6:25 anxious and that's going to continue
6:27 under the surface until eventually it
6:31 boils over and just becomes too much and
6:33 you have to take a step back and you
6:36 have to turn off the on switch and
6:39 actually explore and recognize what is
6:41 going on under the surface and these
6:43 potential underlying causes could be the
6:44 harsh inner critic I mentioned this
6:46 before so maybe you have internalized
6:48 this voice of being really hard on
6:49 yourself and putting a lot of pressure
6:51 on yourself and saying that you're not
6:53 allowed to take a break you constantly
6:56 have to be busy you're a bad person if
6:57 you don't check these things off the
6:59 list whatever it is that your mind is
7:01 telling you these are things that we
7:03 often internalize from parents
7:06 caregivers teachers coaches anybody
7:09 especially in your earlier life
7:11 experiences that we can kind of take on
7:14 these voices and use them as ways of
7:16 motivating ourselves when in reality
7:18 they just make us feel worse maybe it's
7:20 past trauma that you've experienced that
7:23 is also under the surface that hasn't
7:25 been truly processed or resolved and if
7:27 it's something that you're avoiding
7:29 wanting to talk about or think about
7:32 that is often a sign even more that it
7:35 could be affecting you in your daytoday
7:38 and when it can be beneficial to get the
7:39 support of a therapist to help you
7:41 process and work through that trauma
7:42 even if it's something that happened
7:45 decades ago or long time ago it can
7:46 still be affecting you in the present
7:49 and negatively impacting your ability to
7:52 function and to take proper care of
7:54 yourself or maybe you're avoiding the
7:56 things that happen outside of work maybe
7:58 it's stress in your relationship or your
8:01 family or your friendships or the things
8:03 that you have to confront when you're
8:05 not being busy when you're not working
8:07 especially if you're somebody who is
8:10 staying late at work and constantly
8:13 doing chores to avoid and this might not
8:15 be a conscious thing but maybe
8:17 unconsciously avoid interactions with
8:20 your partner or family members or
8:23 friends then this could be a potential
8:25 sign that maybe there's something like
8:28 some sort of stress or difficulty that
8:30 you could be avoiding by continuing to
8:32 stay busy this could also be Financial
8:35 stress whether it is the stress of I
8:37 don't have enough money so I need to
8:39 keep working and this endless pressure
8:41 to keep doing more or maybe it's on the
8:44 other side of things where you are
8:46 somebody who is actually making a lot of
8:48 money and you feel guilt for making this
8:50 amount of money and so you feel like you
8:53 need to work more in order to justify
8:55 making this additional amount of money
8:57 maybe you're also somebody who is
9:00 struggling with low self-worth and
9:01 because of that you feel as though you
9:05 need to prove yourself by doing more
9:07 work or by getting more things done
9:09 prove that you are a productive person
9:12 or prove that you are a qualified or
9:14 competent enough person and this is
9:17 driving your desire to constantly be
9:19 doing more pushing yourself harder or
9:21 maybe it's some combination of multiple
9:23 things and I'm sure there's things that
9:26 I missed if you find that maybe there's
9:27 something else that could be driving
9:30 this desire to constantly be busy then
9:32 this can be something for you to journal
9:34 on and reflect on what happens when I
9:36 stop or slow down what happens when I'm
9:39 not checking things off of a list and
9:41 that's kind of the next step is
9:44 recognizing the pattern asking yourself
9:46 do I feel anxious when I'm not working
9:48 do I feel guilty when I'm not working or
9:50 what emotions come up when you try to
9:52 take a break or what happened if you
9:54 took a break and let go of your to-do
9:56 list what does your mind come up with
9:58 and I'm asking it in this way because
10:00 often times our Minds can exaggerate the
10:02 negative consequences that occur
10:04 especially when it's coming from a place
10:08 of fear and anxiety so asking yourself
10:10 personally what will happen if I stop or
10:13 slow down or if I let go of constantly
10:15 doing and constantly being productive
10:16 and this can give you Clues as to what
10:19 is driving that within you and once you
10:22 have recognized this pattern then you
10:25 can you know journaling is a great first
10:27 step and this can help you to become
10:29 more aware of what's underneath them
10:31 that if you're looking for more
10:33 one-on-one support and guidance this is
10:36 something that I help my clients with
10:38 you can learn more by clicking on the
10:40 link in the description to work with me
10:43 and learn more about my coaching and
10:45 therapy services or you can meet with a
10:47 therapist in your local area but I
10:49 encourage you to start by just creating
10:51 small pockets and moments of Stillness
10:54 in your day so maybe it's just taking
10:58 out 5 minutes to rest without doing work
11:00 without the pressure of the list on you
11:02 and just doing something that you
11:04 genuinely enjoy that maybe you wish you
11:06 had more time to do but you don't
11:08 because you're constantly in this place
11:10 of productivity and taking 5 minutes is
11:12 a simple thing that we can do maybe you
11:14 want to set an alarm for that during
11:17 your day and as you gradually ramp up
11:18 and maybe adding more and more of these
11:21 small breaks and the important part is
11:23 when you are taking these breaks
11:25 noticing all right how do I feel am I
11:27 putting pressure on myself what's going
11:30 on here and it's not about judging this
11:32 or criticizing yourself for this because
11:34 that's just going to create more
11:36 negativity that you're placing on top of
11:38 yourself it's about being aware of it
11:41 non-judgmentally and compassionately so
11:43 that you can recognize the pattern
11:46 recognize what is at the root and then
11:48 address it and so if it is
11:51 self-criticism and this is the next step
11:52 where you are addressing the underlying
11:55 causes so if it's self-criticism
11:56 practicing and learning the skills of
11:58 self-compassion noticing that critic
12:00 when it comes up this is something that
12:03 I dealt with a lot in the past still
12:05 comes up from time to time where there's
12:09 this guilt of okay I'm taking a day off
12:11 or maybe I had something on my calendar
12:15 and I'm really not feeling up to it and
12:17 if I were working for somebody else in
12:19 the past I would have taken a personal
12:21 day but now that I'm self-employed it
12:22 feels like this is hanging over me and
12:24 so I'm being hard on myself like I
12:26 should be working or I should be doing
12:28 more what's wrong with you you're so lazy
12:29 lazy
12:31 all of those criticisms that come up
12:33 even though I know and I don't
12:35 consciously agree with these thoughts
12:38 it's about recognizing for me what tends
12:41 to come up so that I can notice it and
12:43 acknowledge it and then say all right I
12:45 know that you're trying to help me get
12:47 things done but I don't need you and
12:49 it's okay for me to relax and I need to
12:52 do this in order to return and do even
12:55 better work once I do rest and recharge
12:57 this can also look like increasing your
12:59 emotional awareness starting to label
13:03 name and then actually work through your
13:05 emotions notice what they feel like what
13:07 are they trying to tell you what's under
13:09 the surface there also working through
13:12 trauma this can be really important to
13:13 get the support of a qualified
13:16 trauma-informed therapist to help you to
13:17 work through anything that could still
13:19 be influencing you in the present and
13:21 let's see if it's relationship stress
13:24 Financial stress really facing those
13:26 things head on not just continuing to
13:28 avoid them and brush them under the rug
13:29 but maybe that looks like like having
13:33 conversations or making plans or doing
13:34 the numbers with finances and
13:38 recognizing that okay I'm maybe I felt
13:41 like this stress and this pressure to
13:43 continue to work and do more but when I
13:46 do the numbers I'm okay and I'm making
13:48 it and I don't need to put this pressure
13:50 on myself cuz it's not making me any
13:52 more money it's just causing me more
13:54 stress so kind of addressing what is it
13:56 for you that is getting you in this
13:57 place and how can you address that
13:59 specific underlying cause and
14:02 recognizing above all that productivity
14:04 is not a measure of your worth you do
14:06 not need to do things you do not need to
14:09 check things off a list to be a good
14:11 person to be a good enough person to be
14:13 a valuable or worthy person you are
14:16 worthy exactly as you are so I encourage
14:18 you to start to bring this awareness to
14:19 your own life if you're somebody who is
14:21 in this place of constant productivity
14:23 and overworking if you're interested in
14:24 learning more about high functioning
14:26 anxiety don't forget about that free
14:29 quiz at HFA quiz.com and remember it is
14:33 okay to slow down and real growth often
14:35 comes from addressing the emotions that
14:37 we'd rather avoid it can feel
14:38 uncomfortable and difficult in the
14:41 moment but this is a process of healing
14:42 and working through things so that you
14:45 can grow even stronger in the end if you
14:48 have any comments questions or thoughts
14:50 for the podcast you can submit them to
15:00 more confident from within you can check
15:02 out these episodes here thank you so
15:04 much for tuning in today until next time
