0:02 Hi, I'm Jeremy Shinwald, founder of MB Admission,
0:02 Admission,
0:04 >> and I'm Liza Wheel, founder of Gate
0:05 House Admissions,
0:07 >> and we're back with our series of HBS
0:09 application essay reviews. We've already
0:11 looked at Brian's businessminded and
0:14 leadership focused essays. So, now let's
0:16 turn to his growthoriented essay. If you
0:18 want to follow along, use the link below
0:20 to download a free copy of our book of
0:23 sample essays from successful HBS
0:27 admits. Let's dive in.
0:30 Genealogy has always fascinated me. So I
0:32 used an unexpected medical convolescence
0:34 to investigate my ancestors European
0:36 origins and American assimilation.
0:37 Relying on database subscriptions,
0:39 family troves, and interviews with
0:41 distant relatives, I traced the life
0:43 stories of over 700 relatives, spending
0:45 230 years, eight generations, seven
0:47 countries, and six states. I learned
0:49 that my earliest immigrant ancestors
0:50 were furniture retailers, tile
0:52 manufacturers, textile laborers, and
0:54 fruit farmers. I also unearthed a
0:56 world-renowned architect and a
0:58 prohibition era bootleger. The
0:59 discoveries that affected me most though
1:01 were the show experiences of dozens of
1:03 relatives, including 13 murdered in
1:05 concentration camps and 20 who escaped
1:07 to America via my assimilated
1:09 greatgrandfather Sigreed's sponsorship.
1:12 I often recall an indelible portrait of
1:14 my relative Maryanne, a spitting image
1:16 of my cousin Sadi. She perished as a
1:18 16-year-old at Awitz. Like any
1:20 worthwhile investigation, this project
1:22 required resilience. I navigated a dozen
1:25 obstacles for every insight I uncovered.
1:26 My parents and girlfriend chided me for
1:29 sustaining banking hours on a personal
1:30 project, particularly amidst a health
1:32 crisis. Ultimately, I published and
1:35 distributed two 50page toms for each
1:37 side of my family, including annotated
1:38 trees, life stories, galleries, and
1:40 vital records. I was proud of these
1:42 lasting resources, but the greatest
1:44 reward came after a presentation to my
1:46 ordinarily stoic grandfather. Choked
1:48 with emotion, he bestowed on me his
1:50 great-grandfather's Mir Shawn pipe as a
1:52 token of his gratitude. In that moment,
1:54 I fully appreciated the sacrifices
1:55 connecting the book's immigrants, my
1:58 beloved elders, and my generation. Okay,
2:00 Liza, take it away.
2:04 >> I mean, wow, this is a really, really
2:07 powerful story. I I just I happen to
2:08 love the personal stories. I get
2:11 goosebumps when I read that because
2:12 there's so much
2:14 >> specificity. I I say this a lot. you're
2:17 you're connecting with the reader when
2:19 the reader can see what you're doing and
2:22 can and and can imagine things that um
2:24 that you were going through. It it just
2:26 establishes this bridge. And that's how
2:29 I felt reading this, you know, the the
2:32 bootleger, the 700 uh people that he
2:34 researched, the the multiple different
2:37 countries. Um he's he also I I love that
2:40 he infuses a little bit of of humor in
2:43 here and a really really um profound
2:46 topic where he talks about his family
2:49 teasing him for working hours which we
2:51 can all imagine you know he was spending
2:55 every we have no doubt if he's producing
2:57 two 50page volumes he's spending a lot
3:01 of time but I he he brings so many very
3:05 specific details in here that it it's
3:06 just it it feels like it must have been
3:08 such a tremendous gift for the rest of
3:10 his family. How how wonderful.
3:13 >> Yeah. And I think I think you know again
3:15 like I agree bringing the personal in
3:18 can really really be powerful. But you
3:20 know he's not saying like I was
3:22 interested in genealogy and I traced our
3:24 family history and I found like two or
3:25 three relatives that I hadn't 700 relatives
3:27 relatives
3:30 two 250 page books. He's he's he's
3:31 fighting all these different
3:33 personalities and and and and it's clear
3:36 that like yes, there's there's there's
3:37 an altruistic piece where it's like it's
3:39 for his family, it's for his history,
3:41 but he's also like you say banking
3:43 hours. He's compulsive about this and
3:45 like you know he in a good and nice way,
3:46 you know, and this is someone if you
3:48 know if you want to have someone in your
3:49 class, you want to have someone who can
3:52 like who can really really like not just
3:53 commit themselves to a project but like
3:57 but almost almost ignore almost ignore
3:59 that a project exists. just be just to
4:01 be I mean the word curiosity is an area
4:03 to be totally captivated captivated by
4:05 curiosity and so I think that you know
4:07 as people look at this a lot of people
4:10 worry like is my is my curiosity and is
4:13 my growth story enough well you know is
4:15 there another again like my test is
4:17 always like is there another person
4:18 there might be another person who traced
4:19 their family history and found something
4:21 interesting but like you know there
4:22 could be two people in the pool like
4:26 that but like not at this level the odds
4:27 of there being another person out there
4:29 who's doing this level of work and and
4:33 and producing um material that is going
4:35 to really have a significant emotional
4:36 impact on people.
4:38 >> I I I don't think so. This is a story
4:41 this individual owns in a in a way that
4:43 no one else can. And I also think that
4:46 it's a really good foil to yes his other
4:47 essays which are maybe a little more
4:50 serious or sort of maybe maybe are are
4:52 kind of a little more a conventional but
4:53 kind of you know
4:55 >> middle of the road let's let's say you
4:58 know at with an emotional tenor. Um,
5:01 this is one where we really see him, we
5:03 really see his spirit come alive. Like,
5:04 yeah, he's he's committed to to the
5:07 environment and and he had, you know, an
5:09 idealistic um bent to him when he was
5:12 young, but like we're we're getting this
5:15 sense of him now as someone who's really
5:17 alive and passionate about things
5:19 >> and about his family, you know? So,
5:22 you're exactly right. we to give that
5:26 much time to helping teach everyone and
5:28 connect everyone in his family and give
5:29 them something give everybody something.
5:32 I think that's like we just see it
5:34 wasn't just for him and and I also he
5:38 alludes to him doing this when he was um
5:40 you know experiencing a health crisis of
5:42 his own and so it was sort of to save
5:44 him or give him something to do to keep
5:47 his mind fresh but to turn it in a way
5:48 that as you said it's definitely was
5:51 exploring his curiosity but in a way
5:53 that you know again must have just been
5:55 a tremendous gift for his grandparents
5:58 for his parents for his family as well.
6:00 It's really it's a really positive and
6:02 empowering note to end these three
6:04 essays on.
6:07 >> Yeah. I we want someone who, you know,
6:08 I'm saying we I'm speaking on behalf the
6:10 admissions committee. We want someone
6:11 who can just be taken by a passion and
6:14 just pursue it doggedly like not
6:18 >> not financially and not you know not for
6:20 the glory but just like we want to know
6:22 that there's someone in this one of the
6:23 people we're we're accepting in this
6:26 class are really just driven by
6:28 passions. And I I I I see that in this
6:29 individual. So I I really feel like this
6:32 this lit up his whole his whole essay suite.
6:33 suite.
6:34 >> Exactly. 100%.
6:36 >> Yeah. So we now have a a pretty
6:38 comprehensive review of Brian, another
6:41 one of our HBS admits. Follow the series
6:43 for more reviews of real essays from
6:45 real HBS admits. And be sure to download
6:48 our book link below for dozens more
6:50 sample essays from successful HBS
6:52 applicants. Thanks so much for joining us.
