0:03 Hi, my name's Mark and four years ago my
0:06 surgeon told me that unless I had my
0:10 larynx removed, I'd be dead in 3 [Music]
0:13 [Music]
0:17 weeks. Losing my ability to sing was
0:21 like losing an arm or a leg. Musical
0:24 theater is unique. It has a way of
0:27 tapping into people's emotions. Knowing
0:30 that you're the person doing that for an
0:33 audience and sensing that emotional
0:38 reaction is the most special feeling for an
0:46 actor. My identity pre-surgery was made
0:48 up of 30 years of doing different characters.
0:57 Post surgery, I had to find out who I
0:59 was without
1:03 theater. It was a dark time. That's why
1:05 I'm so grateful that I've been given the
1:07 chance to learn how to sing again with a new
1:08 new [Music]
1:17 voice. Before I received my diagnosis,
1:21 life was bonkers. I worked two jobs. I
1:24 was having immense amounts of fun and
1:27 not really caring about the fact that I
1:30 noticed my health was deteriorating
1:33 slightly. I could no longer run for a
1:36 train. I got to the point where I ran
1:38 for a train and I actually collapsed on
1:41 board the train. My initial trip to the
1:44 GP, I honestly expected to be told I had
1:47 a cold and my glands were up. Then he
1:48 examined my
1:52 neck and when he sat back down, my
1:53 doctor had gone
1:56 pale and he said, "I need to put you on
2:04 cancer." My doctor rang and said, "I've
2:10 down?" So,
2:13 uh, that's when I knew it was really bad news.
2:22 He said to me, "If we don't do um this
2:24 very large surgery called a
2:26 laryangectomy and also take your thyroid
2:29 out, if we don't do that in 3 weeks, you
2:32 could choke to death. I'd never be able
2:34 to sing again. My career was
2:37 finished. We didn't know if I'd live
2:39 through the surgery. There's a chance I
2:42 might not make it."
2:44 I just remember walking through the park
2:46 thinking, "Oh my god, this could be the
2:49 last time I do this." And I went to the
2:52 hospital. My husband took a selfie of
2:55 us. He was smiling and I could see how
3:09 difficult. I was too sick to work. My
3:11 cancer was growing, which meant my
3:12 mobility was getting
3:15 worse. And yet, I still had to make
3:17 something of each
3:20 day. It was really challenging because
3:24 I'd been so used to being
3:26 useful. I've kind of found a new
3:29 identity in home life and I really enjoy
3:31 it. I didn't think I would, but I actually
3:37 do. At the start of my journey, McMillan
3:39 were the first people I reached out to
3:41 through the pandemic. They were there
3:44 for me virtually. When things opened
3:47 back up, it dawned on me that perhaps I
3:50 had the capacity to give something
3:54 back. Bring it in.
3:56 McMillan McMillan had done a piece of
4:00 work around male engagement. Only 20 to
4:02 30% of the people coming through the
4:05 door center were men. We were approached
4:07 with an idea about starting a men's
4:10 support group. How many people did we
4:12 start with? Uh one second meeting with
4:15 one person. Yeah. And now we got up to
4:18 20 people. We wanted to create a
4:22 informal relaxed place where men can
4:23 discuss their challenges. And that's
4:25 been the success of the group to be
4:27 honest with you cuz men realizing
4:28 they're not on their own. We're quite a
4:31 loving group, aren't we? We are. It is a
4:32 becoming a real close-knit group which
4:34 is lovely.
4:42 Um, it's a bit like coming home after a long
4:43 long
4:47 journey. I've performed here so many
4:50 times, but it's it's a bit like putting
4:52 on a favorite piece of clothing. Where
4:54 do you want to go? Yeah. Where that
4:58 seat's done? 11. Jer was enormous fun
5:01 during every show. You'd think it would
5:03 be hard being directed by one of your
5:06 best mates, but actually you and I form
5:08 a really good working relationship with
5:11 Boundaries. It was amazing to see to see
5:15 what to watch you work is crazy. I get
5:17 to sit there every night, you know, I'm
5:19 chewing my
5:21 notebook, snapping pencils, and going
5:23 mad. But that's just the perfectionist.
5:25 You were the epitome of what kind of
5:29 most of us want in terms of a lead.
5:32 Thank you. I appreciate that. When I
5:35 started vocal psychotherapy, I didn't
5:36 believe it was going to work for me
5:38 because I don't have a larynx. So, let's
5:42 focus on the breath. I learned that the
5:44 rest of my body still remembers how to
5:48 sing. So, I was able to develop pitch
5:50 changes in my voice, which everyone said
5:53 to me was impossible. Blue
5:55 Blue
5:58 skies smiling at
6:00 me. When we sang our first song
6:03 together, I was smiling and laughing and
6:05 crying. It was a bit like somebody had
6:08 taken the blinkers off. I sound very
6:11 different to how I used to, but it is a
6:21 on. It's the best we've ever done
6:25 that. There we go. It said you'll never
6:35 bollocks. When you're diagnosed with an
6:37 incurable cancer, the first question you
6:40 ask is, "How long do I have to live?"
6:42 So right now my prognosis is is this
6:44 going to kill you? Yes. Is it going to
6:49 kill you tomorrow? No. Do we know how
6:58 But also dying isn't in my
7:01 diary. That sense of hope and
7:03 continuation just keeps pushing me forward.
7:06 forward.
7:09 being told you are incurable or
7:12 terminal. Um, it puts everything into
7:16 very sharp focus. The stuff I used to
7:19 worry about, like, do people like me? I
7:22 couldn't give a damn about anymore. And
7:24 it makes you focus on quality over quantity.
7:27 quantity.
7:29 Every moment I have, whether it's with
7:32 my family, whether it's with Perry or my
7:35 friends, all of those moments are
7:38 quality moments. That's the most
