The content describes a personal journey of overcoming people-pleasing tendencies, learned from a mother's example, to embrace self-prioritization and healthy boundaries, ultimately leading to a more fulfilling and authentic life.
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i grew up with a very very loving mother
my mom was
was
literally the whole example
of a people pleaser
she would go above and beyond to help
every single person around her
even if she did not have the means to
when i was growing up i saw her
be like that with other
people and that gave me an example as to
how i should be with other people so
what ended up happening is i became an
extreme people pleaser
and i would do anything and everything
to help everyone around me but i was
always the one that ended up feeling drained
drained
that ended up feeling used that ended up
feeling lost
and honestly
i had all these people around me that
were like oh i love you i love you
and then i was like how is it that
everybody claims to love me
but i do not feel loved
until i realized liz you are doing this
for yourself and you are creating this
reality for yourself i was just tired of
everybody coming to me with the problems
trauma dumping on me
not even asking me hey liz how are you
are you okay because i would always put
up this front of like oh i got
everything i got this i'm strong enough
i can do whatever so when it came time
for me to be like
hey you know what like this situation i
didn't really feel good about it oh
whatever liz you're strong you can
handle it whatever let's handle it
then i was like
okay but like when you needed help i was
there though so where's my help now you
know and that was my issue of like
constantly giving out help giving out help
help
but not allowing myself to receive help
and not allowing myself to be vulnerable
and show people that hey listen i have
emotions things hurt me as well and maybe
maybe
sometimes i want to talk about my
problems i want to talk about my
emotions like shouldn't this be a
two-way thing why is everybody always
dumping on me and everybody needing my
help and everybody needing something
from me but maybe i need someone too
enough liz enough with your stupid self-pity
self-pity
and you go
and you become selfish yeah exactly
selfish ooh what a scary word
everybody's scared of the word selfish
but you know what being selfish
literally saves me literally saved me
completely because
i just came to a point where i realized
hey listen
when they need someone liz is always
there but when i need someone why is
everything empty
why am i over extending my whole body
for everyone
and they're not even extending out a
hand to help me hi guys my name is liz
and welcome back to my channel okay so
let's get right into this video
what i did to become more selfish first
things i stopped going into arguments
with people who are not willing to listen
listen
i am a person it takes a lot to make me
angry i'm very chill i'm very chill and
it takes a lot to hurt me as well like i
don't get easily hurt i'm very chill
i don't care
if you did hurt me however by
disrespecting me and i mean like severe
disrespect and i tell you
hey listen you disrespected me
i did not appreciate that and you keep
trying to twist the story to manipulate
it and be like oh no it wasn't that way
i didn't mean it like that and you keep
going like that i will just not engage
in the conversation anymore it's done
listen my boundaries were crossed you
crossed them you know you cross them
done the conversation is over you're not
willing to say hey hey liz listen
i'm sorry that that might have hurt you
i'm sorry that i didn't did that to you
i'm willing to work on this or this
won't happen in the future if you're not
saying that we're done done conversation
is over you're not worth my time you're
not worth my energy that's it another
thing is i started prioritizing my own
needs and ones
whatever i want
goes first
that's it i do not care anymore i'm so
tired of constantly giving giving giving
and just feeling empty at the end of the day
day
now i what i do first is i fill my own
cup first like am i okay am i whole yes
okay then i can give to you as well but
if i am empty i cannot give you anything
because i don't have anything to give
so basically what i started doing is
like when my friends for example ask
like liz do you want to come out you
want to go there i used to feel very bad
and just
go with them anyways because they want
to go but now i'm like no i don't want
to come
and if they ask like why why not well i
don't want to and that's enough reason
that's okay liz doesn't want to and
that's enough reason i don't have to say
why i don't have to explain anything i
just do not feel like it and i don't
want to come that's enough for me um
um
so i really started to be like
whatever i want comes first stop being
always available and trying to save everyone
everyone
see the issue with me was my phone was
always on i'm always on my phone like
whenever somebody would text me
immediately i would text back
like if they need advice i would give
them advice i would give them every
single thing
but you know what that what happens then
you're always the one that people reach
out to when they have problems
but what about you know when just
everything is going good like can you
you know why am i always the one that's
being trauma dumped on why are you
always telling me this stuff maybe i
don't have the mental capacity to handle
that maybe i am going through some stuff
as well but because i was this people
pleaser of like oh just
whatever i'll make sure that you're okay
it was like
why doesn't anyone make sure that i'm
okay and that's because i do not even
make sure that i'm okay
i was showing them hey listen you can
always come to me and that's also like
me not having boundaries if you have
strong boundaries and you say like hey listen
listen
i don't want to listen to your problems
today i have enough of my problems
enough and even more you know
but you don't care about that though you
just come to me because i allow you to
come and i have no boundaries so at the
end they that is my mistake
and so i had to learn to be to not
always be available if i do not want to
answer your message i want to answer
your message maybe i will answer in like
two days three days
but i don't answer immediately anymore i
don't care i genuinely do not care i
don't have the i don't have the mental
capacity or the energy
to give you any more realize i was
trying to save everyone because i feel
for them i i see my family and friends
and i want them to have the best life
ever i want them to be amazing and the
best version of themselves
but then i literally realized like you
cannot save everyone you cannot save
anyone to be honest if a person does not
want to change if a person does not want
to be saved
you will not save anyone and you'll just
lose your energy trying to do that
realize something
i just think that
people get problems certain problems in
their life or certain situations because
god gives that to them and it's for them
to learn and it's for them to um
um
to go through so they can become wiser
and so they can
fulfill their life
purpose kind of and me always stepping
in and trying to help and be the savior
i think that shows a message to god as
well like i'm trying to
put myself in his place you know what i
mean like why am i trying to save them
that's not my place to do so
so i think as well if you're always
someone that's trying to save someone
you'll just you'll just block your
blessings by doing that start being okay
with people misunderstanding you
they do not have to understand you and
you know what it's very reasonable that
they don't understand you
listen you might want to do something in
life you might have this dream of yours
or whatever but you have to realize
people have
come from different cultures people have
different parents people were raised a
different way people went to different
schools different neighborhoods
they will not understand you they do not
have the same mindset as you they do not
have the same heart as you like you
cannot make them understand you and make
them feel for you because they're not you
you
they are not you
so you trying to constantly be like oh
but you have to understand it or or be
like oh why do they hurt me i wouldn't
do that to them they're not you
they're not you
that's it
and you have to accept that
and if you're constantly gonna go
through life thinking that everybody has
the same heart as you honey listen to me
i have done that and i have been hurt
multiple times until i understood people
are just different and that's okay
that's okay
let them be another thing is stop trying
to change people listen
listen
our human nature is comfort
humans love comfort
in order to change it takes a lot of
discomfort to change and it takes a lot
of courage it takes a lot of strength
most people don't want that and that's okay
okay
it's not because you want those things
and you want a great life or whatever
and you want to accomplish all these big goals
goals that
that
they have to want that
a lot of people are okay with their
small-minded living are okay with their
things because that's all they know and
that's their comfort a lot of people
don't think that there's anything wrong
with them a lot of people go through
life thinking that they're smart enough
they have it all figured out they have
no traumas
but that's okay because you cannot
change that
see a lot of people dm me and they say
liz you changed my life you changed my
life your videos changed my life
i didn't do anything
i didn't do anything because as much
videos i'm going to make i can make 10
hours of content daily you can listen to
them get motivated
but if you do not want to change you're
not going to change
i cannot force you to
and you have to understand that if
you're constantly giving your energy to
try to make it trying to make people
change to become the best version of
yourself you're wasting your energy that
you can use to become your best virgin
to create your dream life and you know
what lead by example
if you start to create a dream life for
yourself everyone in your family and
everyone you love will start to see you
as an example and also try to change
something in their life because they see
it's possible for you
that's how you change people by just
giving them an example
is stop needing people to validate your self-worth
