A truly happy and fulfilling marriage requires the active involvement of four key individuals: Jesus Christ, a loving husband, a submissive wife, and the empowering Holy Spirit, all operating within God's ordained order.
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we're reading today from Ephesians chapter
chapter
5 and I'm going to begin back with Verse
18 and read through the end of the
chapter in the past several years more
books have been published on
marriage than perhaps on many other
subjects and yet here in a few brief
sentences God tells us the secret of a happy
happy
home Ephesians 5:18 and be not drunk
with wine in which is
excess but be filled with the spirit
speaking to yourselves in Psalms and
hymns and spiritual songs singing and
making melody in your heart to the Lord
giving thanks always for all things unto
God and the father in the name of our
Lord Jesus Jesus Christ submitting
yourselves one to another in the fear of
God wives submit yourselves unto your
own husbands as unto the Lord for the
husband is the head of the wife even as
Christ is the head of the church and he
is the savior of the
body therefore as the church is subject
unto Christ so let the wives be to their
own husbands in
everything husbands love your wives even
as Christ also loved the church and gave
himself for it that he might sanctify
and cleanse it with the washing of Water
by the word that he might present it to
himself a glorious church not having
spot or wrinkle or any such thing but
that it should be holy and with without
blemish so ought men to love their wives
as their own
bodies he that loveth his wife loveth
himself for no man ever yet hated his
own flesh but nourishes and cherishes it
even as the Lord the church for we are
members of his body of his flesh and of his
his
bones for this cause shall a man leave
his father father and mother and shall
be joined unto his wife and they too
shall be one
flesh this is a great mystery but I
speak concerning Christ and the church
nevertheless let every one of you in
particular so love his wife even as
himself and the wife see that she
reverence her
husband and May theol Holy Spirit help
us to obey this
word a skeptic who must have had his
heart broken at some time or
another defined a
wedding as a funeral where you smell
your own
flowers now the millions of people who
are happily married would chuckle at
that but not agree with
it but then some who have had difficult
ulty might say yes he has hit the nail
on the
head it's unfortunate that our United
States of
America a so-called Christian Nation
leads the world in the number of divorces
divorces
annually down in the Chicago Civic
Center 14 courts on a busy day will
handle 200 divorce
cases I'm glad that the word of God has
a message for everyone when it comes to
this matter of
marriage whether you are single and
contemplating marriage or single and not
interested in
marriage whether you have been
disappointed in marriage or delighted in
marriage each of us comes in contact
with this gift of God at some point or
another if it's not our own home it's
somebody else's a friend or or a
relative and we're privileged here at
the Moody Church to minister to hundreds
and hundreds of single young
adults and so it's good for us to come
to Ephesians 5 Verse 18 and discuss this
marriage those of you who have never had the
the traumatic
traumatic
experience of a
up need to have compassion and
tenderness for those who
have our Lord
should now Paul tells us that God wants
us to be happily
married after all God invented marriage
and he wants his invention to
work God has more at stake perhaps than we
we
do when God devised marriage it was for
as the ceremony tells us the blessing
and benefit of
mankind the one thing that was not good
in creation was it is not good for the
man to be
alone God looked upon his world and said
everything is very good but one thing is
not good this man is alone and so he
gave him a
wife and God established marriage for
the blessing and the benefit of
mankind unfortunately some marriage
mares have not been a blessing they've
been a cursing they've not brought
benefit they have brought
burdens no matter where you may be in this
this marital
marital
program I trust you'll heed what Paul
says here to put it very simply Paul
says for a marriage to be happy and
rewarding and
creative four persons must be involved
you say but Pastor it just takes two to get
get married
married
mother no it takes four to get
married and Paul tells us who these four persons
persons
are the Lord Jesus
Christ the loving
husband the submissive wife
and the empowering Holy
Spirit these are the four persons who
must be involved in every marriage if
it's going to be happy the first person
is our Lord Jesus Christ you noticed as
I was reading Ephesians chap 5 how often
the Lord is mentioned verse 22 as unto
the Lord verse 23 even as Christ verse
24 as the church is subject to Christ
verse 25 as Christ loved the church
verse 26 that he might sanctify verse 27
that he might
present verse 29 even as the Lord the
church the whole emphasis here you see
is on Jesus Christ in fact verse 32 puts
it very plainly this is a great mystery
meaning a secret A Spiritual Secret but
I speak concerning Christ and the
church if you start your marriage
without the Lord Jesus Christ you don't
have much of a chance for
Success now Paul tells us that Jesus
Christ blesses our homes in three ways
first he is the savior verse 23 he's the
savior of the body secondly he is the
Lord verse 22 as unto the Lord verse 25
he is the example as Christ also loved
the church so when you move into
marriage the first person who must be
involved is Jesus Christ as the Savior
the Lord and the example let's begin
with the
Savior there are multitudes of unsaved
people who have very happy homes they
would have much happier homes I think if
they had the Lord Jesus there but some
of these unsaved friends put Christian
people to
shame they don't argue they don't fight
their home is not an armed camp where
they have dug fox holes and erected
barricades their homes are happy and
loving even without the Lord Jesus and
you would think that those of us who
know Christ as our savior would have
homes that would be even more happy and more
more
wonderful you see marriage begins with
Jesus Christ as the Savior that means
you don't marry somebody who's not a Christian
Christian
now I've heard all of the
arguments but I still have to stay true
to the word of God that says be not
unequally yolked together with
unbelievers it's a difficult thing for a
pastor to say to a couple that loves
each other look I I'm sorry you you
really shouldn't get married because one
of you is not a Christian and you say at
this point but Pastor these are modern
days yes and modern days have
old-fashioned sins
Christian girls marry a Christian
boy and Christian boys marry a Christian
girl your wedding begins with Jesus as the
the
savior in John Chapter 2 our Lord
performed his first miracle at a wedding
somebody was smart enough to invite
Jesus to that wedding and he made all
the difference between success and
failure Jesus Christ comes not only as
the savor avior but he comes as the Lord
wives submit yourselves unto your own
husbands as unto the Lord he wants to be
the lord of the home this means you
shouldn't get married unless you're
willing to submit to what the Bible has
to say the lordship of Jesus Christ just
simply means you speak God and we
obey he is the Lord L now I visit
bookstores regularly I read many
magazines that review books we have had
a regular epidemic of books on
marriage the basic problem in the Christian
Christian
home is the lordship of Jesus Christ if
you have a husband who's not submitted
to the lordship of Christ and a wife who
is you're going to have
trouble if I put my two hands together
and if I move them in opposite
directions if one goes forward and one
goes backward we have
friction and friction means two people
aren't going in the same direction and I
don't know how many times in the
counseling Ministry husbands have had to
confess well Pastor Jesus is not the
Lord of my home he's not the Lord of my
life don't get married unless you want
the lordship of Jesus Christ he is the
savior and he is the Lord and He is the
example in verse 25 even as Christ also
loved the church I don't know where you
get your example for marriage if you get
it from Hollywood instead of from Heaven
you're in for trouble if you get it from
television instead of from Revelation
you're in trouble Jesus Christ is the
example so that as a husband I should
look to Christ as my example a wife
should look to Christ as her example and
we as parents should show to our
children that Jesus is the example now
how does a home stay in touch with the
example of Jesus Christ and the lordship
of Jesus Christ through the word of God In
In
Prayer it's amazing how many husbands
and wives don't pray
together so many times when they come in
with a problem you'll say well tell me
now do you two pray together no did you
pray together when you were dating no no
after you got engaged did you pray no
well how do you invite the lordship of
Jesus Christ into your marriage if you
don't pray together if you don't spend
time in the word together the first
person necessary for a happy home is the
Lord Jesus Christ now have having said
that let me say
this just because two people are saved
doesn't mean their home is going to be
successful it takes more than that you
say Pastor you're a heretic then I'm an honest
honest
heretic you'd be amazed at the mortality
rate of
marriages among students who meet at Christian
Schools it's unfortunate I'm sorry about
it it takes more than two people being
saved to have a happy marriage just
because a fell is saved and a girl is
saved and neither one of them is married
doesn't mean they should get
married God doesn't want everybody to
get married Jesus said so he said there
are some people who from birth are not
supposed to get married there are some
who because of circumstances aren't
supposed to be married there are some
who have deliberately said like Paul I
will remain single for the work of the
Lord not everyone's supposed to be
married I know the first three letters
in single are s i n but that doesn't
mean it's a sin to be
single I would rather have you living in
single loneliness in the will of God
than married cussedness out of the will of
of
God the second person involved is a loving
loving
husband husbands love your
wives now he tells us what kind of love
this is and I want you men to know that
this is one of the greatest demands that
can be made upon
you don't take this matter of love for
granted Paul tells us there are four
characteristics of a spiritual husband's
love for his wife number one it is a separated
love he tells us in verse 31
for this cause shall a man leave his
father and mother and be joined to his
wife and that verb joined in the Greek is
is
glued he shall be glued to his wife
which means my friend you're [Music]
stuck you see marriage involves leaving and
and
cleaving now Adam didn't have any mother
and father to leave nor did Eve but Adam
said this prophetically he says from now
on when God brings a man and woman
together he leaves his father and mother
he Cleaves to his wife they make a
covenant together which is called
marriage nowhere in the Bible do you
find marriage apart from a
covenant there is an
agreement I was uh driving into church
the other day and heard a radio program
I phon own the station to get a tape or
a copy of the script and so far haven't
gotten it but I thought I heard a man
over the radio advocating trial
marriages you know here are these two
people and they think they want to get
married so let's live together for a
while to see whether or not it's going
to work and if it doesn't work we can
break up I'll guarantee it won't
work because there has to be
commitment when a person joins his life
with another person he makes a
commitment he leaves father and mother
he leaves them physically he leaves them
financially he leaves them emotionally
he still loves
them after all he'll need them for [Music]
[Music]
babysitters now let me say a word to you
young ladies don't you marry some fellow
who's not emotionally mature enough to leave
leave
home and I say to you girls and to you
fellas don't you marry some girl who not
emotionally mature enough to leave home
nothing can cause more trouble in a home
than being married to three people at one
one
time and so it is a separated love you
come to the point where you say we are
going to devote ourselves to each other
we're going to build a fence around
ourselves and in building a fence around
ourselves we're not building a
prison we are protecting This Love that
God's given to us it's a separated
love I notice in verse 25 it's a
sacrificial love husbands love your
wives how
much even as Christ also loved the
church and gave himself for it girls
don't you marry a fellow who doesn't
love you enough to give himself for
you you don't meas Your
Love except by
Calvary and when I can look up to God
which I cannot do yet I'm afraid and say
you know I love as much as Jesus loved
me I've got a long way to go yet but
this is the measure it has to be a
sacrificial love it means an attitude of
service an attitude of giving it means
that when a man says to a woman I love
you he's going to work for her he's
going to protect her he's going to if
necessary die for
her and by the way no woman has a hard
time submitting to that kind of
love all the feminists
notwithstanding and so it's a separated
love and it's a sacrificial love I
notice in verses 26 and 27 it's a sanctifying
sanctifying
love because a Christian man loves a
Christian woman she becomes a better
Christian because of him what does the
Lord do for the church he washes the
church he cleanses the church he does it
through the word this is why you don't
want to marry an unsaved fellow he can't
take the word word of God and nourish
the family he can't apply the truths of
the word of God in the
home because he doesn't know the word of
God he doesn't know the god of the word
the love that God wants a husband to
have for a wife it's a sanctifying love
now I say this cautiously but in this
pulpit and anywhere else I have to be
honest it's unfortunate that some
Christian husbands are destroying their
wives there isn't that sacrificial love
that says I will give to you they are
saying you do this or
else there isn't that tender Ministry of
the word of God where two people can pray
pray
together it's
unfortunate and you know what happens
children grow up in those homes and when
they get old enough they turn their
backs on the
Lord and then someone says the church
has failed the church has failed during
my years in Youth for Christ I got so
tired of hearing the church has failed
the church is made up of people and
families now if the church has failed
I'd like to know who has succeeded
because we have a lot of young people
around here who really love the Lord who
some of our Christian homes where there
is a father who doesn't have sacrificial sanctifying
