0:02 Have you ever felt overlooked and
0:03 disrespected even when you have done
0:06 absolutely nothing wrong? Respect is not
0:09 given. Respect is mirrored. People will
0:11 treat you how they see you treat
0:13 yourself. So in today's video, I'm going
0:15 to be sharing with you 10 practical ways
0:19 that you can command respect anywhere,
0:21 anytime, any day. But before we go into
0:23 the main body of today's video, if you
0:24 haven't subscribed to the channel, now
0:26 would be a very good time for you to
0:28 click that subscribe button and the bell
0:29 just right beside it so you can get
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0:34 new video. Especially if leveling up and
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0:38 life in the most excellent way is of
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0:45 belong. And then of course, our
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0:49 still open for anyone who wants to sign
0:51 up. The excellence elite group is pretty
0:53 much what I like to consider my inner
0:55 circle. There's a lot that happens
0:57 there, a lot of value. And it's pretty
1:00 much for anyone who is ready to do the
1:03 intentional work, the hard work that is
1:05 required of them to level up and become
1:08 the very best version of their lives.
1:09 Now, if you're already an excellent
1:11 elite member, kindly leave a comment in
1:12 the comment section down below and just
1:14 share a little bit about how valuable
1:17 being a member has been for you. And if
1:19 you want to join, you can just click the
1:20 link in the description box down below
1:22 to get more information about the
1:24 benefits and value of being a member of
1:26 the Excellence Elite group and then of
1:28 course how you can access the group as
1:30 well. Okie dokie. So, have you ever been
1:33 in a space where you feel like no one
1:35 ever takes you seriously or you just
1:38 feel very unseen. You feel like people
1:40 look down on you. Sometimes it not
1:42 necessarily because those people are
1:45 disrespectful or mean people. It may
1:48 just be because of your actions and the
1:50 attitude that you portray around them.
1:52 And that's pretty much what today's
1:54 video is all about. Um for you to see
1:58 how you have allowed yourself to be
2:01 disrespected by people. Again, it's
2:03 important to note that sometimes it's
2:06 not the people who are disrespectful. It
2:08 is you who are putting yourself in a
2:11 position to be disrespected. Because we
2:14 live in a world where everybody wants to
2:17 dominate, take charge and take over. So
2:19 when you keep opening up yourself and
2:22 doing things that allow others to
2:24 disrespect you, I promise you they will
2:27 trample all over you, walk all over you,
2:29 and disrespect you and not feel bad
2:30 about it. Especially those people who
2:33 haven't gotten a lesson or two in
2:35 kindness. So today I'm just going to be
2:37 sharing with you 10 things or 10 ways
2:39 that you can pretty much start
2:42 commanding respect in every setting that
2:44 you go into so that people can start to
2:47 see you as worthy and valuable because
2:49 people who are respected the most are
2:51 people who know their worth and who
2:53 understand their value. And the best way
2:55 to show it is through some of the ways
2:56 that I'm going to be sharing with you in
2:58 today's video. The very first point I've
3:00 put down here on my list on how you can
3:03 command respect in any setting, whether
3:06 professionally or personally, is don't
3:07 be too available. I think this one is a
3:09 no-brainer and everybody should already
3:10 know this, but just in case you don't
3:12 know it, don't be too available. Don't
3:15 always show up for everyone at any time
3:17 whenever they call, especially when what
3:20 they're calling you for doesn't align
3:22 with your purpose or your values. Don't
3:24 just up and leave. Even when you are
3:26 free and you know you're not doing too
3:28 much or you're not doing anything or you
3:29 have some spare time on your hand,
3:31 always sit back and ask yourself, how
3:33 does this meeting or how does this thing
3:36 this person wants me to do align with
3:38 who I truly am? So don't just say yes to
3:41 every wind of doctrine. Don't just say
3:43 yes to every pull or every call.
3:45 Sometimes just intentionally say no and
3:47 stay on your own and do and rather do
3:49 things that align with your values. The
3:52 only people the only people who you
3:55 should be too available for who whenever
3:57 they call you you are literally at their
3:59 beck and call are the people who are in
4:01 your closest circle. The people who you
4:03 know add value to your life. The people
4:06 who you know will show up for you any
4:08 single time of the day. You need to
4:09 identify those people. It's not
4:11 everybody that would do that for you. So
4:12 identify those people who you can pick
4:14 up your phone and call and make a
4:16 request on something and then you know
4:17 that they will show up for you. Those
4:18 are the people that you can call
4:20 whenever they in fact when they call you
4:22 be like how they tell you to jump you
4:25 you say how high should I be jumping.
4:26 Those are the people you make yourself
4:28 available for because they have also
4:30 proven to you that they would always be
4:32 there for you regardless of whatever
4:33 season you are in your life. But they'll
4:35 be there for everybody. You're not a
4:37 dumbass. Okay. The second point that
4:38 I've put down here on how you can
4:41 command respect and make people start
4:43 taking you very seriously will be for
4:45 you to speak less and listen more.
4:47 Talking a lot will leave you saying
4:49 things you have no business saying. I've
4:51 said this so many times on the channel
4:53 that you need to learn to put a premium
4:55 on your words. Whenever you open your
4:58 mouth to speak, let your words be
5:01 quality words that actually edify,
5:04 uplift, produce results, and help
5:07 somebody else feel inspired. Don't just
5:08 open your mouth because you know how to
5:11 talk and then just yap all over the
5:14 place. Yapping actually lets you talk or
5:16 say things that you you shouldn't be
5:18 saying. And remember I said at the
5:21 beginning of this video that respect is
5:24 not given. Respect is mirrored. By the
5:25 time you've opened your mouth and said
5:27 every single thing about your life, you
5:29 have let left left nothing to the
5:31 imagination and people can literally
5:33 tell every single thing about about you.
5:35 I remember I went for a video shoot one
5:37 day and there was one of the content
5:40 creators there, some guy who would not
5:42 stop talking. Literally would not stop
5:44 talking. At some point when I couldn't
5:46 take it anymore and I'm like, "Can you
5:48 please keep quiet?" Like, I couldn't
5:49 take it anymore. I couldn't take it
5:52 anymore. This guy kept yapping for good
5:55 1 hour 20 minutes of the shoot. At some
5:57 point, I had to say, "Stop talking.
5:59 There's no way I'm going to give that
6:01 guy my respect regardless of who he is
6:02 if I see him somewhere else. If I
6:04 practice to him somewhere else, I'll be
6:05 running away from him because he
6:07 couldn't just stop talking. Sometimes
6:10 just stop talking and rather listen.
6:12 People actually enjoy listeners. Have
6:13 you ever wondered when you find yourself
6:15 in the midst of people and you are the
6:17 one doing the talking and someone else
6:18 is listening, do you enjoy being
6:20 listened to? So sometimes or most often
6:22 than not, be the one who is listening
6:24 instead of the one who is always
6:26 talking. Only be the talker when you are
6:28 again in your close circle of friends
6:30 who you know will not judge you if you
6:32 yap from now to tomorrow. But even in
6:34 that closer circle of friends, don't
6:36 wear people out with your words.
6:38 Sometimes shoo it. Okay, imagine that
6:40 you don't talk a lot and you are the
6:41 person, the quiet person who is always
6:43 observant, is always just there
6:45 listening and all. And then the day you
6:47 eventually now say you want to open your
6:48 mouth to talk. I'm not saying don't
6:50 talk. It's important to talk. But be
6:52 very mindful of the what you are saying.
6:53 So the day you now finally open your
6:54 mouth to talk, I promise you everybody
6:56 will stop and listen to you. The reason
6:58 why people don't stop to listen and then
7:01 you feel overlooked or on on unseen or
7:03 not taken seriously or taken for granted
7:05 is because you talk a lot. So when you
7:07 when you keep quiet and you stop talking
7:08 and the day you say you want to talk
7:10 people would actually stop and listen to
7:11 what you want to say because they'll be
7:13 like ah this one that doesn't talk today
7:15 he's talking let me hear what he has to
7:16 say and then what you have to say will
7:18 make sense to them and they will respect
7:20 you for it. Okay. The third point that
7:21 I've put down here on how you can
7:23 command respect and have people actually
7:25 start taking you very seriously is for
7:27 you to be about your life's purpose.
7:29 See, I've said this so many times on
7:31 this channel on different episodes and
7:34 there is something so magical, something
7:37 so endearing, something that attracts
7:40 you to a person who is about their
7:42 life's purpose. People can see that you
7:46 go the extra mile to make your work
7:48 excellent. People can see the amount of
7:51 dedication and passion and commitment
7:53 and effort that you put into your work
7:55 that you literally will glorify your
7:57 work. Glorify the office that you're in.
8:00 Glorify whatever position that you do. I
8:02 tell you, there is no one on earth that
8:05 will not respect a person who is working
8:08 in line with their true God orained
8:10 purpose. when you're all about your
8:11 life's mission. I remember when I
8:14 started living life intentionally and
8:16 being so focused on what I've been
8:18 called to do, especially when I first
8:19 started Delicious Foods. The amount of
8:22 respect that I garnered, not just from
8:24 the people around me or in my circle,
8:26 but from strangers. I'll just be walking
8:28 on the way and people are just all like
8:31 so admired and inspired by what I do
8:33 because I constantly would show up. I
8:35 mean, you don't you don't have to show
8:37 up in front of a camera to fulfill
8:38 purpose. The people around you, the
8:41 people in your circle would actually let
8:43 you know that you are actually being all
8:45 about your purpose by how they respect
8:48 you, how they respect your time, how
8:49 they respect the things you say and how
8:51 you do the things that you do. People
8:53 know when you put in effort into doing
8:55 something. When you're lacadasical about
8:56 stuff, when you're nonchalant, when
8:58 you're lazy, you don't even put in any
9:00 effort. Nobody is going to respect you.
9:02 And again, like I said, respect is not
9:05 given. Respect is earned. Respect is not
9:08 just for people who are older than you.
9:09 Respect is for the younger folks as
9:11 well. If I see somebody, a young person
9:13 who is about their life's mission, who
9:15 puts themselves together, who walks the
9:18 walk, talks the talk, is all about doing
9:19 the most to make their lives beautiful,
9:21 the respect I'm going to have for that
9:23 person, like dove cap respect. And
9:24 definitely there's no way I'm going to
9:26 look down on them just because they are
9:28 younger than me. So the one way to
9:30 actually gain respect or command respect
9:32 and have people take you seriously is
9:34 being about your life's purpose. Now at
9:36 this point I would like to talk to you
9:37 guys about the vision and purpose
9:40 mashway webinar that's supposed to come
9:42 up on the 23rd of August. Now I'm not
9:44 sure when this video is going to air on
9:46 the channel. But if it airs before the
9:48 23rd of August, then you can still join
9:50 the vision and purpose mastery webinar
9:52 that's happening on that day at 300 p.m.
9:54 Now, this webinar is pretty much for
9:56 anyone who is seeking clarity on their
9:58 life's purpose. You don't know what your
10:00 life's purpose is and you really want to
10:02 know because I always say that if you're
10:05 not living your life's purpose every day
10:07 on the earth, you're pretty much wasting
10:09 your time. Your life's purpose is
10:10 actually what brings you the most
10:12 fulfillment, what brings you the most
10:14 satisfaction, and what actually it is
10:15 that you're supposed to be doing with
10:17 your life. Because everybody on earth
10:19 was sent to this world for a particular
10:21 reason. So, if you don't know for sure,
10:23 for sure what that life's purpose is,
10:26 then this webinar is definitely for you
10:27 because we're going to be sharing
10:30 strategies and frameworks and tools that
10:32 actually help you open up your eyes to
10:34 see what that life's purpose is and then
10:37 how you can create the grandest vision
10:40 possible based on that life's purpose.
10:43 and then how to tailor your daily steps
10:46 and your daily actions to align with
10:49 your life's purpose and the vision that
10:51 you have created. Don't waste another
10:54 day living life on this direction when
10:55 you know you're supposed to be going in
10:57 this direction. Don't stop wasting your
10:59 life. So join the webinar. I'm going to
11:01 put a link in description box down below
11:03 on how you can access more details about
11:05 it. So check the description box down
11:07 below for that link. Okay. The next
11:09 point on how you can command respect and
11:11 have people listen to you and not take
11:13 you for granted will be for you to be a
11:15 person of excellence. This one I have
11:16 actually shared so much on the channel
11:18 and this is actually what this channel
11:21 is about. Excellence. Be the best at
11:24 what you do and always go the extra mile
11:27 to ensure that everything you do has a
11:29 stamp of excellence on it. Now
11:31 excellence is not something that is so
11:34 grand is some it's just intentional
11:36 steps and actions that you take.
11:38 consistently to ensure that you're
11:40 always putting your best foot forward
11:42 with regards to any single thing that
11:44 you set your heart to do. Excellence can
11:47 show up in how well your home is, how
11:49 organized your home is, how peaceful
11:52 your relationships are, how organized
11:54 your car is. When I come on your
11:56 computer or on your laptop, how
11:59 organized the folders and the files on
12:01 that computer is. Excellence shows up in
12:04 how you communicate with other people,
12:06 how you deal with other people, how you
12:08 handle problems, how you how you show
12:10 up, how you carry yourself, excellence
12:14 shows up in literally every single thing
12:17 that you do. So when you are a person of
12:20 excellence and people can see how very
12:22 detailed you are, paying attention to
12:24 the very tiny details that sometimes
12:26 people get to overlook, I tell you it
12:29 commands respect. People will literally
12:30 respect you and want to get to know more
12:32 about you because of how p and proper
12:34 they see you do the things that you do.
12:36 So become a person of excellence. I mean
12:38 you're on this channel watching. I
12:40 presume that excellence is something
12:42 that you're literally going after. So
12:44 strive for excellence. Continue at
12:45 excellence. It comes with it own fair
12:47 share of work. But I tell you it
12:50 actually is a way to put your life
12:52 together, organize yourself and then
12:54 have other people look and say see over
12:56 there in that girl's territory. You
12:58 can't come and do any how. You need to
12:59 come correct. You need to show correct.
13:01 You need to be mindful of how you show
13:03 yourself. That's what I call respect.
13:05 So, be a person of excellence. Okay.
13:07 This next one I I know I've preached
13:09 loudly, but it's worth reiterating at
13:11 this point and it's just pretty much
13:14 always look good and carry yourself with
13:16 grace. Dress with intention. See,
13:18 looking good is a form of personal
13:21 affirmation that lets other people know
13:24 I value myself. I take care of myself.
13:27 I'm worthy. I am valuable and I am all
13:29 that. Remember what I said about
13:31 respect. Respect is mirrored. When a
13:33 person sees that you have put in the
13:36 effort to look put together, to look
13:38 good and then you carry yourself very
13:41 elegantly, you carry yourself with
13:43 grace, there's no way anybody will look
13:46 at you and look down on you or look over
13:49 you. Now, I was in a setting one day. It
13:50 was a social setting. It was like a
13:52 party of some sort. And then everybody
13:54 was dressed very elegantly and all. And
13:58 then this girl comes in and then her I'm
13:59 sorry people judge you based on your
14:01 appearance. She was looking like a
14:02 prostitute. I'll put it that way. With
14:05 her cleavage showing, she was putting on
14:07 very something very short. Felt like she
14:08 wasn't even putting on the panties
14:10 because her bum was just bouncing and
14:12 flapping all over the place. And then
14:15 her hair wasn't put together and she was
14:17 chewing gum
14:20 in the most awkward manner. And then she
14:23 comes in and everybody grows. I will
14:24 never forget that day. Everybody just
14:27 goes silence. Like you could tell that
14:29 place was noisy, but it was quiet
14:30 because you could literally tell what
14:33 everybody was thinking at the same time.
14:34 And then when the girl came and expected
14:36 everybody was going to give her some
14:38 form of attention. She was literally
14:42 ignored throughout. I mean, I know we
14:43 were supposed to be kind and all, but
14:46 she didn't look like us. I'm sorry. The
14:49 dress code says come looking elegant. We
14:51 look and it was awkward looking at her
14:54 boobies. It was so awkward. It was
14:55 awkward going to have a conversation
14:57 with her. So, everybody literally
14:59 avoided her. That to me is not the way
15:01 you want to be treated when you walk
15:03 into a place. So, please try your best
15:05 to look put together. It's like somebody
15:06 who goes for an interview and you're
15:09 looking sloppy. Your hair is unckempt.
15:12 Your edges are not even um put in place
15:14 or maybe you have an an awkward smell.
15:16 How would your interviewer take you
15:21 seriously? How? How people who say m
15:23 those things don't matter. I tell you
15:24 they matter and they actually determine
15:26 the quality of your life because
15:29 fortunately or unfortunately we live in
15:31 an earth system where people judge by
15:33 what they see. So be mindful of how you
15:36 show up both in your appearance and with
15:38 the way you carry yourself. Okay. Next
15:40 point on my list again in fact I think
15:42 all this point I've said um I put down
15:44 on this place I've said at different
15:46 times on the channel and this one is
15:49 pretty much polish your diction
15:52 bank polish your diction
15:55 bank see yeah there is something about
15:59 having the right words to use to express
16:01 your ideas your thoughts and your
16:04 feelings there's something it makes you
16:06 have it makes you have some form of
16:09 confidence you open your mouth and talk
16:11 and not feel awkward. The reason a lot
16:14 of people are shy in social or even
16:16 professional settings, not necessarily
16:18 because they are shy, they may be held
16:20 back because they don't even know how to
16:23 speak correctly or because they have an
16:26 inferiority complex about the way they
16:28 speak or about the way they sound. If
16:30 you have identified that the way you
16:33 speak and the way that you sound is a
16:35 problem for you, how about you just fix it?
16:37 it?
16:39 Because to be quite honest with you, I
16:42 take people seriously when they are able
16:45 to boldly come to my face and talk to me
16:47 about certain matters. Come and say it
16:50 into my to my direct face. Be able to
16:52 articulate your sentences, your words.
16:53 Articulate the things that you're
16:56 feeling. Say it and speak it out clearly
16:58 so that the other person who listens
17:00 would understand what you're saying.
17:02 That can only happen when you have gone
17:04 to polish your diction. Go and polish
17:06 your English. You want to communicate in
17:08 English language, polish it. There's so
17:10 many ways. We even have a course called
17:12 the art of speaking eloquently and
17:14 elegantly course. And in that course, we
17:17 literally delve deep into how you can
17:19 start speaking eloquently. And of
17:21 course, apart from just giving you the
17:22 tips, the strategies and the framework,
17:25 we also put in a lot of words there that
17:27 you can use to build up your word bank.
17:29 And then practical tips that you can
17:31 actually use and start putting to work
17:33 every day to build up your word bank. I
17:35 for one, for example, I'm a good talker.
17:38 I talk smoothly. I flow when I when I
17:40 speak. I wasn't always like this. I was
17:42 the girl who used to stutter. I was the
17:45 girl who had the thickest thickest thickest
17:47 thickest
17:50 um would I say it wasn't an accent. I
17:53 just used to pronounce my words
17:55 incorrectly. I remember when somebody
17:57 called me out on it. Let me give you
17:59 guys the story. Right. So I was on the
18:00 phone with this guy who had come from
18:02 the UK and then I can't remember how we
18:05 were talking and the conversation led to
18:08 me having to you say the word cucumber
18:10 at the time I used to pronounce it as
18:12 cucumber that's what I used to call it
18:14 cucumber when I said the word the guy
18:15 was like no what did you say what did
18:17 you say I said cucumber maybe I said I
18:19 wanted to eat cucumber or that's what
18:20 I'm about to eat and the guy is like
18:22 what are you saying what did you say
18:24 cucumber cucumber what's that is that is
18:26 what's that is that a is that a local
18:28 dish that's what this guy was talking to
18:30 me and said I'm like, "No, cucumber.
18:32 Cucumber the vegetable." The guy was
18:34 like, "You mean cucumber?"
18:36 I was so freaking embarrassed. I'm like,
18:38 "What? Cucumber? Is that what you people
18:41 call it over there?" The guy said, "No,
18:42 that's actually how it's pronounced.
18:46 It's pronounced cucumber.
18:49 Girls and boys of the Lord." I was so
18:51 embarrassed. I wouldn't even lie. And
18:52 that was the day I made up my mind. See,
18:54 we're not the originators of English.
18:55 So, please, enough with this whole
18:57 that's how we sound in Nigeria. We're
18:59 not the originators of English. You can
19:00 have a Nigerian accent and still
19:02 pronounce the English words correctly so
19:03 that people can understand it
19:05 universally. So, it's important and I
19:07 just said that story to just tell you
19:08 guys that if you know that you're
19:11 lagging behind when it comes to the way
19:12 you speak or the way you pronounce
19:14 things and it's making you shy and
19:16 making you hold back um from from
19:18 speaking up your feelings and your
19:19 thoughts, then why not you why not work
19:21 on it? There was a time in my life where
19:23 I I used to pronounce pineapple as
19:26 pineapple. Pineapple. Pineapple. What
19:29 the heck?
19:30 So pretty much what I'm saying under
19:34 this point is find ways find ways to
19:36 develop a rich word bank and then
19:38 improve your addiction. I tell you it
19:40 helps you express yourself confidently
19:42 and when you are able to express
19:44 yourself confidently. People take you
19:46 more seriously and they respect you for
19:47 it. Okay. The next point that I've put
19:49 down here on my list will be for you to
19:51 be a person of honesty and integrity. Be
19:53 a passing of your word. Be the one who
19:56 says something and does it or says they
19:57 won't do something and not actually do
20:00 it. Speak the truth always and let
20:02 people know you as a person of your word
20:04 and be honest about all things. Don't be
20:07 shady in your dealings. Don't be the one
20:08 who comes to tell somebody to their face
20:10 what you know they want to hear. But the
20:11 minute you leave them, you go do
20:13 something else. They won't respect you
20:14 for it because guess what? Eventually
20:16 they would find out. So why not just be
20:18 truthful? I also believe that the people
20:20 who lie the most are the people who are
20:21 afraid. If you're not afraid of
20:22 somebody, why are you not why are you
20:24 lying or why are you being shady? Why
20:26 don't you just come correct and say what
20:28 you want? Own your truth. Own it. Own
20:30 it. The person that would like you will
20:31 like you. The person who will not like
20:32 you will be going. But just own your
20:35 truth and say what you mean and mean
20:37 what you say. Okay. Another way that you
20:38 can command respect will be for you to
20:41 be gracious to others. Show empathy.
20:43 Show respect. Show kindness. Don't be
20:45 mean. When you're mean to people, they
20:48 are they they're going to automatically
20:50 not be nice to you or they will not
20:52 respect you to just look at you funny.
20:53 And please, at this point, I think it's
20:55 important to note that respect is not
20:58 about calling people titles um or trying
21:02 to do ballet or cutsy when you want to
21:04 greet somebody. Those things are not how
21:05 you show that you have respect for a
21:08 person. That's not respect. Respect is
21:10 that feeling you have inside about a
21:14 person that makes you regard them and
21:16 respect on and rever them for who they
21:19 are. Not in how you say maybe you in one
21:21 sentence you want to say call the person
21:22 sir good morning sir good morning sir
21:24 the people that say good morning sir
21:25 good morning sir those are I don't even
21:27 I don't even believe are respectful
21:29 that's not respect respect is not when
21:30 you kneel down to greet I've seen
21:32 somebody kneel down to greet a person
21:34 and immediately like one minute later
21:35 behind that person's back they were
21:37 throwing their nose up at that same
21:39 person they knelt down to greet all
21:41 those things are not respect respect is
21:43 how you internally feel about a person
21:45 based on your perception of them and
21:47 that feeling now allows allows you to
21:49 revert them whether in front of them or
21:51 behind them. You treat them with with
21:53 kindness and then you hold them to high
21:55 esteem and to a high value. That is what
21:57 respect is. I thought to chip that in.
21:59 Now, another point that I've put down
22:01 here is you need to be assertive. If you
22:03 want to command respect, you need to be
22:05 assertive. Know how to speak up for
22:08 yourself boldly, firmly, and
22:09 respectfully. Don't let people walk all
22:11 over you. Set healthy boundaries that
22:13 protects you mentally, physically,
22:15 emotionally, and know how to express it
22:17 with your words. So that people know
22:19 that on this territory, in this playing
22:21 field, there's all there's only going to
22:23 be one boss, and it's going to be me.
22:25 And the boss and in my own field and in
22:28 my own lane, what I say is what is
22:30 final. Whether you like it or not, you
22:32 have to obey my rules and stay true to
22:34 my own terms. That's how people respect
22:36 you. when they know you are definite
22:38 about what you want and you don't play
22:40 around with who you are or your
22:42 territory. So be very assertive and be
22:44 bold when you are communicating it to
22:47 others. That's one way to actually build
22:48 respect for yourself. Okay, this next
22:50 point is something that a lot of people
22:52 usually somehow confuse and mix up as
22:54 the same thing. We shot a short form
22:56 video content for it and it's simply
22:59 don't be nice, be kind. Now a nice girl
23:01 will allow people walk all over her but
23:03 a kind girl won't. Being nice often
23:05 means you try to please others. Being
23:07 nice often means you try to diminish
23:08 yourself or deem your light so you can
23:11 avoid conflict so that you can just um
23:14 ensure that you nobody perceives you as
23:16 bad. But being kind on the other hand is
23:20 someone who is respectfully assertive,
23:22 holds their own, dishes out their
23:23 boundaries in the most respectful
23:26 manner. Um is somebody who is kind will
23:29 say see I love you. I pro I protect you.
23:31 I am I'll be there for you, but I'm not
23:34 going to diminish my light just to just
23:36 to see you shine. I'm not going to be
23:38 disloyal to myself just to be loyal to
23:40 you. No, a nice person has no
23:42 boundaries. But a kind person has a lot
23:44 of boundaries. So, it's important that
23:45 you are not the nice person who
23:47 everybody can walk all over. You are the
23:50 kind person who has integrity, who shows
23:52 empathy, who is compassionate without
23:54 compromising your boundaries or your
23:57 values. Okay, that is what um being a
23:59 kind person is. kindness would actually
24:01 earn you more respect than neness
24:02 because with ness you've opened the door
24:04 for people to come in and do tumbo
24:06 tumble with your whole life and you
24:07 don't want that for yourself. Okay, this
24:09 next one is actually one of my absolute
24:12 favorite ways to command respect and let
24:13 people take you seriously. It's
24:16 maintaining emotional control even when
24:18 under pressure. Don't lose your temper
24:21 and get flustered in a conflicting or
24:23 chaotic situation. Maintain your
24:25 composure when everybody's running fire.
24:27 You just take your your not going to
24:31 burn in the fire
24:33 or you see somebody try to ruffle you up
24:35 in a combative manner. They want to they
24:36 want to fight. They want to be they're
24:38 feisty with their words. Don't engage.
24:41 No, don't do that. Don't engage. Remain
24:43 composed and remain quiet and just look
24:45 at them and be like, in fact, your
24:47 calmness will shut them up. So, compose
24:49 yourself. When there's panic, relax.
24:50 Don't be the one who expresses
24:54 themselves in a panic state or in a in a
24:56 ruffled state, especially when the
24:58 situation calls for you to be ruffled.
25:00 Nah, maintain your emotional control.
25:02 When somebody's getting you upset or
25:04 working you up, maintain your composure.
25:06 I tell you, that's one of the quickest
25:08 ways to command respect from others when
25:10 you are not the one who is flustered or
25:12 who is easily shaking, but yet you are
25:13 able to control your emotions. you're
25:15 able to control yourself and then still
25:17 produce tremendous results in the
25:18 different settings that you find
25:20 yourself in. That's how you command
25:22 respect. The 12th one that I put here is
25:23 don't shrink or dim your lights to
25:25 accommodate someone else or make them
25:28 feel comfortable. Mm- let your light so
25:29 shine. That was the instruction. There
25:32 was no condition after that statement.
25:34 Let your light so shine only when the
25:36 other person's light is not shining
25:38 brightly or let your light so shine only
25:40 when the other person's light is also
25:42 shining. There was no condition. The the
25:44 the instruction was simple. Let your
25:46 light so shine. If you have to dim your
25:47 light for someone else's light to shine,
25:48 then there's something wrong with that
25:50 equation. You can shine and then help
25:53 another person shine right afterwards.
25:54 You don't have to shine at the same
25:56 time. And it's easier for you to help
25:58 somebody else shine when you are already
25:59 shining. So don't shrink or deem your
26:01 light to accommodate someone else or
26:02 make them feel comfortable. Don't do
26:04 that. For example, you are dating. This
26:07 one happens so so popularly in the
26:09 dating world and it happens to the women
26:10 folks especially. You're dating a guy.
26:12 Maybe you are the one who is financially
26:14 buoyant in the relationship and then
26:17 somehow the guy feels threatened by your
26:18 accomplishment and by your wealth and
26:20 then because of that you now start
26:21 saying I'm going to start hiding this.
26:23 I'm going to I'm going to shrink myself.
26:25 I won't be I won't talk much so that the
26:27 guy doesn't feel intimidated. It's on
26:29 him to feel insecure about your level
26:31 up. First of all, you don't even have a
26:34 business to begin with with a guy who is
26:36 insecure and won't even get up and go
26:37 and do something for himself so he can
26:38 meet you where you are. You don't have a
26:40 business with that kind of guy. So if
26:42 you want to date a guy who is or if you
26:44 want to be in a relationship with a guy,
26:45 I'm not saying there's anything wrong in
26:47 it. I mean there's no rule that says
26:49 that it's the man that must be richer
26:51 than the woman in a relationship. No.
26:53 But the dynamic is both of you must be
26:54 willing and ready to accommodate each
26:56 other in love, in respect, and in
26:58 honesty. The man should don't and
27:01 mustn't shrink your lights just because
27:03 he's not on the level that you are in.
27:04 You don't do do that. That does that's
27:06 not a way to make him respect you. In
27:08 fact, that's the that's the quickest way
27:09 for him to walk all over you and
27:12 disrespect you in the most meanest ways.
27:13 So, first of all, if you find yourself
27:16 as a woman who's doing so well and you
27:18 find yourself in a relationship with an
27:19 insecure man, it's time to pack your
27:21 bags and leave. You don't have a
27:22 business with that man. Go find a man
27:24 who is secure in his own in his own self
27:27 and is not concerned about your social
27:30 financial status. Okay? So, never deem
27:31 your lights for somebody else's lights
27:34 to shine. Okay? I know I said 10 points
27:35 at the beginning of this video, but some
27:37 for some reason I have 15 points on my
27:39 on my notes and I'm going to say all 15
27:41 because they all matter. In fact, this
27:42 next one is actually one of my absolute
27:44 favorite ones as well. Stop waiting for
27:47 external validation. My sisters and my
27:49 brothers, learn to validate yourself so
27:51 that the opinion of others who don't
27:53 mean a thing to you won't matter much to
27:55 you. Don't wait for someone to tell you
27:56 you're beautiful. The one that I see
27:58 commonly is, for example, when you want
27:59 to post a picture or want to post a
28:01 content on social media. I used to do it
28:04 before, but now I'm like, mm- if I
28:05 believe it's okay, then I will go ahead
28:07 and post it. You want to post content
28:09 and then you ask 10 people for their
28:10 opinion before you make the move. Why?
28:12 And then by time you ask 10 people, they
28:14 give you different conflicting opinions
28:16 and then you are now confused on what to
28:18 now post or what to now do. You want to
28:19 post something, go ahead and post it if
28:21 your heart tells you to do so. Right?
28:23 Validate yourself. Love on yourself. Be
28:25 confident in yourself. Know who you are.
28:27 Own you who you are with your full
28:29 chest. And don't wait for somebody to
28:30 come and tell you, "Oh, you're good
28:31 enough at something," before you get up
28:34 and take action. Take action. Whether or
28:36 not you hear somebody clapping for you
28:38 or urging you or nudging you or
28:40 motivating you to go, take the action
28:41 and do it on your own. Take the
28:43 initiative and do it on your own. Stop
28:46 waiting for external stimuli.
28:48 Stimulate yourself from inside. Validate
28:51 yourself from within you. Okay. The 14th
28:53 point on my list will be for you not to
28:55 share too much about your life. This one
28:57 I have a whole video on the channel
28:58 about it. Don't talk too much about your
29:00 life. Don't give details about your
29:02 life. Don't go on social media telling
29:04 everybody the pances that your husband
29:06 wore to have sex with you the other day
29:09 or what don't do that. Keep some things
29:10 to yourself. Not everything should be
29:12 shared. Something should be left to the
29:14 imagination. Don't carry all your
29:15 personal life and go and be throwing it
29:18 out to the public sometimes.
29:21 Okay, shut it. And finally on my list on
29:24 how you can command respect and have
29:25 people take you seriously will be for
29:27 you to honor the promises you made to
29:28 yourself and don't compromise for
29:30 anything that doesn't help you uphold
29:32 it. You've made a promise to yourself.
29:34 Honor it. You've made a promise to
29:36 yourself to wait until you're married
29:38 before you engage in sexual activities.
29:39 Honor that promise. I'm talking to
29:42 somebody on this channel right now.
29:44 This is a message for somebody watching
29:47 me right now. Don't let anybody [Laughter]
29:49 [Laughter]
29:51 go you or bully you into giving up
29:53 things that you know that you should not
29:54 be giving up just because they has been
29:56 talking you into that person will leave
29:57 you and then you'll not be crying. Don't
29:59 do that. Okay. So, honor the promises
30:01 you've made to yourself. Again, if the
30:02 promise is okay, you wanted to start a
30:04 project or you wanted to do something or
30:06 you wanted to get better at something or
30:07 you wanted to read a book and you
30:08 promised yourself to do better. You
30:10 promised yourself to wake up earlier
30:11 tomorrow, you promised yourself to start
30:13 going to the gym, you promised yourself
30:14 to start eating healthy, you promised
30:16 yourself to start working on your
30:17 personal appearance, you promised
30:19 yourself to start working on your on
30:20 your body carriage. You promised
30:22 yourself that you want to start being an
30:24 organized person. You want to be a good
30:25 cook. You want to go and get that
30:27 degree. You promised yourself you buy
30:28 that course. Keep the promise you made
30:30 to yourself. People know when you keep
30:32 the promise you made to yourself. And
30:33 remember what I said at the beginning,
30:35 respect is not given. Respect is
30:38 mirrored. People will respect you or
30:40 treat you based on how they see you
30:42 treat yourself. When I come into your
30:44 territory, and I see that in your
30:46 territory, there is no messing around. I
30:48 see that in your territory everything is
30:50 10. There's boundaries. There's
30:52 composure. Everything is organized. I
30:54 would never treat you another way. I
30:56 would treat you how I see you treat
30:58 yourself based on what I'm observing
31:00 with my eyes. So these are pretty much
31:02 some of the points that I know
31:04 personally can help a person start
31:06 commanding respect every day and ensure
31:08 that other people take you very
31:11 seriously in whatever setting whether
31:13 it's personally or professionally. If
31:15 there is any point that I missed out and
31:17 you know that should be added to this
31:18 list as always let's continue the
31:21 conversation in the comment section down
31:22 below. But before I go, I just wanted to
31:24 quickly remind you of the Excellence
31:25 Elite membership group. We're going to
31:27 be closing the group real soon. So, if
31:28 you still want to join and be a part of
31:30 my inner circle, then click the link in
31:32 description box down below to get more
31:35 details about the value of the of the
31:36 group and then how you can access it as
31:39 well. And then remember that we have
31:40 lots of resources in the Windows school
31:42 of excellence library where you can
31:44 actually access and start leveling up
31:46 your lives in a different area. We have
31:47 the art of speaking eloquently and
31:49 elegantly cost for anyone who wants to
31:51 improve their communication. We have the
31:54 mindset reset digital resource on
31:56 breaking free from limiting beliefs. It
31:59 contains an ebook, a nine-part video
32:02 series that goes in depth into limiting
32:03 beliefs, how they affect a person's
32:05 life, how they ampire with your growth,
32:07 and then how you can overcome them and
32:09 and literally break free from the
32:10 shackles of them. And then it also
32:13 contains a workbook that literally helps
32:15 you hold your hands and walk walk you
32:17 through practical steps on how you can
32:20 break free from limiting beliefs. And
32:21 then finally, of course, we have the
32:24 vision and purpose mastery webinar
32:26 that's coming up on the 23rd of August.
32:28 Like I said, if this video goes up
32:30 before the 23rd, then you can still join
32:32 us on the 23rd of August. But if the
32:34 video goes up after, then you would have
32:37 to um watch the replay for the webinar.
32:39 All of the links to everything I've
32:40 mentioned now will be in the description
32:42 box down below, so be sure to check it
32:43 out there. Okay, that's pretty much all
32:45 that I have for you for today. Again,
32:47 again, finally guys, before I go, if you
32:50 found any of these videos insightful or
32:53 helpful and you enjoyed it, please share
32:55 with somebody in your circle who you
32:57 know would need it to level up on their
32:59 own life's journey as well so that we
33:01 can all continue to learn and grow
33:03 together. And if there's any part that
33:04 stood out to you, maybe just screen
33:06 record that part and share on your
33:08 social media stories and then of course
33:10 tag us so that we can repost on our
33:13 stories as well for everybody to see it.
33:14 I'll see you again with another video.
33:17 Until then, remember to stay very very
