0:02 the nice things about expository
0:05 preaching is no one can accuse you of
0:07 choosing a
0:10 theme you start in verse one of chapter
0:13 1 and keep on going and you take what
0:19 comes and tonight we come to 1 Peter 3:
0:22 1-7 dealing with the all important
0:24 subject of the
0:27 home it so happens that a large
0:29 percentage of the people who live in
0:31 this near North side are not married
0:32 they are
0:35 singles it also happens that those who
0:38 are married most of them do not have
0:40 families and someone says why in the
0:42 world then preach about this subject
0:44 well for several reasons number one it's
0:47 in the Bible all scripture is given by
0:49 inspiration of God and all scripture is
0:52 profitable number two some of you are
0:54 going to get
0:56 married you may look in the mirror and
0:59 think it's pretty hopeless right now I
1:01 told you about the lady who sent her
1:02 picture to the Lonely Hearts Club and
1:04 they sent it back and said we aren't that
1:10 lonely some of us are married and it
1:12 doesn't hurt for us to hear this again
1:15 and be reminded of it and some of you
1:18 will be able to assist those who may
1:20 need this kind of assistance so we make
1:22 no apology for this theme tonight it's
1:25 the word of God and it's going to help
1:30 us Peter's been talking about submission
1:34 began back in chapter 2: 12 really where
1:36 he talks about in verse 13 submitting to
1:40 the ordinances of man verse 18 the
1:44 servants submitting to their masters it
1:46 talks about our Lord Jesus Christ who
1:49 submitted himself to the will of God and
1:52 so in chapter 3: 1 in the same
1:55 manner in the same manner as I have
1:57 described our lord
2:00 Jesus as being subjected to the will of
2:03 his father ye wives be in subjection to
2:06 your own husbands that if any obey not
2:09 the word that means they aren't saved
2:13 they may also apart from the word that
2:17 means without nagging and preaching and
2:19 hollering and arguing be one by the
2:22 behavior of the wives while they behold
2:26 your chaste conduct coupled with
2:30 fear whose adorning let it not be that
2:32 outward adorning of braiding the hair
2:35 and of wearing of gold or of putting on
2:38 of apparel now obviously he's not
2:41 talking about these things as things in
2:44 themselves otherwise he'd be teaching
2:46 nudism he doesn't say it's wrong to put on
2:47 on
2:49 apparel he doesn't even say it's wrong
2:52 to fix your hair and wear gold what he's
2:53 saying is don't make this the most important
2:55 important
2:57 thing but let it be the hidden man of
2:59 the heart in that which is not correct
3:02 corruptable all these other things are
3:05 even the ornament of a Meek and a quiet
3:08 Spirit which in which is in the sight of
3:10 God of great
3:14 price for after this manner in the old
3:17 time the holy women also who trusted in
3:20 God adorned themselves being in
3:22 subjection unto their own husbands even as
3:23 as
3:27 Sarah obeyed Abraham calling him
3:29 Lord whose daughters ye are as long long
3:32 as you do well and are not afraid with any
3:33 any
3:35 Terror there's a difference between the
3:39 reverential fear of verse two and the
3:42 terrifying fear of verse
3:45 6 in like
3:47 manner that's the way he started in
3:49 verse one talking to the wives and so he
3:52 talks this way to the husbands just as I
3:54 said we should be in subjection to
3:56 ordinances just as I said we should be
3:59 in subjection to our masters just as I
4:01 said said our lord Jesus was in
4:03 subjection to the will of God in like
4:04 manner ye
4:07 husbands dwell with them according to
4:11 knowledge giving honor unto the wife as
4:12 unto the weaker
4:16 vessel and as being hirs together of the
4:25 hindered we have in our society today an
4:28 amazingly strange
4:30 situation now here here it
4:34 is we have more studies on marriage than ever
4:35 ever
4:40 before we have more books and tapes on
4:41 marriage than ever
4:44 before we have more magazine articles we
4:48 have more experts more counselors and
4:51 more advisors available in this field
4:53 than ever before and yet we're having
4:56 more problems among married people than ever
4:58 ever
5:07 Christians something's
5:10 wrong I walk in bookstores often because
5:13 this is my interest and books are my
5:17 tools and I check out the section on the
5:20 home and it gets larger and
5:22 larger and you can find books in
5:25 Christian bookstores written by fine
5:29 competent Christian people on every
5:31 subject relating to the
5:35 home some of them very
5:38 explicit I reviewed a book recently on
5:41 the self-willed child my mother could
5:42 have used that
5:51 kid something's wrong we have this great
5:54 mass of information and yet for some
5:57 reason it's not distilling into the
6:01 hearts and minds of people and and I I
6:04 fear that there are many Christian homes
6:06 that are staying
6:16 reputation there has already been an
6:20 emotional if not a physical
6:22 divorce but not a legal
6:24 one this is
6:28 sad because the home is the one remnant
6:31 of paradise we still have on
6:34 Earth everything else was wiped out but
6:37 the family the home is still a remnant
6:40 of paradise now the Apostle Peter knew
6:42 something about marriage he was a married
6:44 married
6:46 man every once in a while someone says
6:48 to me I don't like to read what Paul had
6:49 to say about marriage you know Paul Was
6:51 A stagio
6:53 Bachelor I say what's rather interesting
6:55 Peter was a married man and he must have
6:57 been a good married man his
7:03 and if he could get along with his wife
7:04 and his mother-in-law and be able to
7:06 write things like this he knew something
7:08 and yet Peter says same thing Paul says
7:10 so you can't argue about
7:13 them Peter heard Jesus teach about
7:16 marriage Peter himself was a married man
7:18 and Peter was inspired by the spirit of
7:20 God to write these words and so he says
7:23 something to us we need to listen to and
7:24 you know all of this looks so
7:26 complicated but when you just look at it
7:29 and meditate on it and pray over it you
7:31 discover that Peter is saying
7:35 this a home can be a happy holy Christian
7:36 Christian [Music]
7:38 [Music]
7:41 Home a marriage can be something to
7:45 enjoy not something to endure
7:50 provided that the husband and the wife
7:52 fulfill their duties to one another
7:54 that's all he's
7:56 saying now says Peter to make it easy
8:00 for you I'm going to boil it all down
8:03 to two duties one for the wife and one
8:09 for the husband the wife has the duty of
8:14 submission the husband has the duty of
8:17 consideration now if the husband will show
8:18 show
8:21 consideration and if the wife will show
8:24 submission you won't have any problems
8:25 you may have some difficulties and
8:28 troubles you may have some hard places
8:31 to go through but those things instead
8:33 of pulling you apart will draw you
8:35 closer together you may have
8:37 difficulties to face but they will not
8:40 be weapons to fight with there'll be
8:42 tools to build
8:45 with and so I send you home tonight with
8:48 two words ringing in your memory submission
8:51 submission
8:53 consideration now before we look at
8:55 verses 1-6 where he deals with
8:57 submission I want to answer the question
9:00 bouncing around in the mind of some of
9:02 you because I have discussed these
9:05 things with some of you and some of you
9:06 who are
9:09 single have wondered why in the world
9:12 does Peter spend six verses talking to
9:14 the wife and only one verse talking to
9:17 the husband that's not fair there should
9:19 be three and A2 verses for the husband
9:21 three and A2 verses for the
9:24 wife we want this thing to be equal
9:28 equal rights all the way around well the
9:31 answer is so very simple ful do you know
9:34 what Christianity did for women when
9:38 Christianity was Unleashed in the Roman
9:42 Empire it completely changed their
9:45 status up until the time that the gospel
9:48 went across the Roman Empire women were
9:51 things they were just a smidgen higher than
9:58 slaves the husband had uh dictatorial rights
10:00 rights
10:02 women were not to be seen they certainly
10:05 were not to be heard though there were
10:09 Pagan homes where there was love and a
10:11 depth of
10:14 devotion they were somewhat
10:16 exceptional now the reason Peter has to
10:18 say more to the wife is because she had
10:20 a whole new
10:23 position in life being a Christian woman
10:25 gave her a whole new
10:28 status it was much harder for a woman to
10:29 become a Christian Christian
10:32 particularly if her husband was not
10:33 saved then it was for the man to be
10:36 saved you see in those early days if the
10:38 head of the household was converted it
10:40 was very natural for the rest of the
10:42 household to get converted the wife
10:44 would say I want to become a Christian
10:46 the children old enough to understand
10:48 would say we want to become Christians
10:49 not always but
10:53 often this is why you find households
10:55 being baptized in the New
10:57 Testament and so he has to spend a
10:58 little more time with the wife who all
11:01 new to her and he had to deal with
11:05 certain aspects of her new status in
11:08 society and in the home so he doesn't
11:10 give six verses to the women because the
11:13 women have six times more problems than
11:16 the men or because the women create six
11:18 times more difficulty than the men no
11:20 it's just that he has more to tell them
11:23 and it all balances together the wife
11:26 has the duty of submission and Peter
11:29 gives us three reasons why a woman
11:31 should be in submission to her husband
11:35 number one it is an obligation God says
11:38 so in the same manner ye wives be in
11:41 subjection to your own husbands it is an
11:44 obligation number two it is an
11:47 opportunity that if any obey not the
11:51 word they also May apart from the word
11:54 be one by the behavior of the wives and
11:56 number three it is an
11:59 ornament not only are you a blessing to
12:03 your husband but in submitting yourself
12:06 you develop the beauty of Christian
12:08 character and this he deals with in
12:12 verses 3-6 so these three reasons for
12:15 submission number one it's an obligation
12:17 number two it's an opportunity and
12:20 number three it is an ornament it's an
12:24 obligation God commands it in the same
12:26 manner ye wives be in subjection now
12:31 subjection is not subjugation
12:32 there are people who when they read
12:36 verses like this and like Ephesians 5
12:38 they they lose their insulin they start
12:41 developing the DTs and they say oh don't
12:43 talk to us about
12:45 submission because they think submission
12:48 means slavery that headship is dictatorship
12:56 lordship he uses Sarah as an example of
12:58 what a wife ought to be she called him
13:00 Lord when she got the word that she was
13:02 going to have a baby she said hey this
13:04 can't be my Lord is rather old and I'm
13:07 not too young
13:10 myself but you don't find that Abraham
13:14 was lording it over Sarah once he
13:16 listened to Sarah's bad advice and got
13:19 into trouble once he listened to Sarah's
13:22 good advice and saved himself some
13:25 trouble so subjection is not
13:29 subjugation subjection is the willing
13:34 loving accepting of my place in
13:36 society you see it goes all the way back
13:39 here to the ordinances chapter
13:42 2:3 submit yourself to every ordinance
13:45 now is it right for us as Citizens to be
13:48 under the authority of government yes it
13:50 is is the government always right no it
13:52 isn't do we have a right to rebel and
13:54 blow the place up because they aren't no
13:57 we don't there are orderly ways of
13:59 making changes
14:01 Verse 18 servants be subject to your
14:05 Masters is it right for an employee to
14:08 be in subjection to an employer yes it
14:09 is if you didn't you'd have chaos how
14:13 about our lord Jesus for even here unto
14:15 were ye called because Christ
14:18 also was it right for Jesus to come as a
14:21 servant and be in subjection to his
14:25 father's will yes if it is right for me
14:27 as a citizen to be under Authority if it
14:30 is right for me as an employee to be
14:33 under Authority if it is right for me as
14:35 a Christian to be under Authority then
14:38 it is also right for me as a husband for
14:40 you as a
14:43 wife to be under
14:45 Authority now Paul makes it very clear
14:47 in Ephesians chap
14:51 5 that this subjection is not
14:54 one-sided in verse 21 he
14:58 says that both husband and wife are to
15:00 be submitted submitted to the Lord
15:03 submitting yourselves one to the other
15:05 in the fear of God the husband submitted
15:08 to the Lord and therefore to the wife
15:10 the wife submitted to the Lord and
15:12 therefore to the
15:15 husband submission is not subjugation
15:17 now I'll tell you how you can tell a
15:19 difference some wife at this point may
15:20 be saying I wonder if I'm submitted or
15:23 subjugated well here's the difference
15:26 submission is a joyful Act of
15:31 Love subjugation is a difficult
15:40 fear submission brings out the best in
15:43 you subjugation brings out the worst in
15:46 you and in your
15:49 husband submission leads to Freedom you
15:52 become all that you can
15:55 become subjugation leads to
16:04 would it shock you if I told you the
16:08 Bible taught the equality of men and
16:11 women he tells us we are heirs together
16:14 of the grace of life he says that we pray
16:16 pray
16:19 together did you know that men and women
16:21 were made by the same
16:24 Creator they're equal in
16:27 creation they were made of the same
16:30 material dust
16:32 they were given the same dominion and
16:36 God blessed them and God said unto them have
16:42 dominion the same savior died for them
16:45 the fact that Jesus came as a man does
16:47 not exclude the
16:51 women the same savior died for them the
16:54 same Holy Spirit lives in them in Jesus
16:56 Christ there's neither male nor female
16:59 Bond nor free we're all one in Christ
17:01 the Bible teaches
17:04 equality I used to work for the Rockwell
17:06 Manufacturing Company I've told you that
17:08 several times I'm glad for that
17:11 experience I wish everybody going into
17:13 missionary work or Ministry of some kind
17:16 would spend a few years being knocked
17:20 around in a in a in a manufacturing
17:22 company and every once in a while
17:24 Colonel Rockwell would go through the
17:26 plant and you know what he was no better
17:29 than I I was sitting there at the clock
17:30 I used to punch the tickets and give the
17:32 fellas their work I was important you
17:34 know with the clock and here came the
17:37 colonel with all of his authority he's
17:42 no different no better than was I but he
17:44 had a different
17:48 Authority now if there is not Authority
17:51 in society you have chaos if there is
17:54 not Authority in employment you have
17:56 chaos if there is not Authority in the
17:57 church you have chaos if there's not
17:59 Authority in the home you have
18:03 chaos subjection has nothing to
18:09 inferiority the fact that I worked for
18:11 Colonel Rockwell did not make him
18:13 Superior to me or me inferior to him it
18:15 just meant there were different levels
18:17 of authority and if there were not we'd
18:23 valve so he's not talking here about
18:25 inferiority superiority he's talking about
18:26 about
18:29 order and Authority
18:33 and so submission is an
18:35 obligation and I'm going to ask a
18:37 question now in your home is there
18:43 competition now if two people get
18:45 married and there is the proper
18:47 submission to the Lord and to each other
18:49 you're going to have cooperation and it's
18:55 beautiful the wife knows his weaknesses
18:58 and she compensates with her strengths
19:00 the husband knows her weaknesses and he
19:03 compensates with his strength and when
19:07 there is that submission to the
19:10 Lord and to his authority there is
19:13 cooperation when one party says I will
19:17 not submit I am better I work
19:20 harder then you don't have cooperation
19:22 you got competition and dear friends you
19:24 can't build a home on
19:27 competition can't be
19:29 done so I'll say to you you single folks
19:33 tonight don't marry girls don't marry a
19:38 man you cannot lovingly sincerely be
19:41 submissive to I don't care how much
19:43 money he has I don't care what kind of
19:45 car he drives I'm not interested in any
19:48 of those things if you lovingly honestly
19:52 cannot submit to him don't get
19:54 married you're better off
19:58 in single blessedness than married custody
20:05 now there should be submission not only
20:07 because it's an obligation but it's an
20:10 opportunity he's talking to Christian
20:11 wives who got saved after they were
20:13 married he's not talking to Christians
20:15 who married unsaved people that's not in the
20:16 the
20:19 Bible it's wrong for Christians to marry
20:21 unsaved people don't argue about it
20:23 don't debate it don't discuss it it's
20:25 just there be not unequally yolked
20:27 together with
20:30 unbelievers oh but I prayed about it
20:38 Bible it's an opportunity here's a
20:41 Christian wife and she wants to go to
20:42 church and she wants to serve the Lord
20:44 and Peter says hey your first
20:46 obligations at home let's win your
20:49 husband how do you do it submission oh
20:51 but what if he asks me to do something
20:53 wrong you submit unto him as unto the
20:56 Lord and don't be afraid God will take
20:59 care of it
21:00 it's an opportunity an opportunity to do
21:02 what to be a spiritual blessing you know
21:04 one of the great joys of Christian
21:07 marriage is that a husband helps his
21:09 wife to grow spiritually and a wife
21:12 helps her husband to grow spiritually
21:14 that's the opportunity of submission now
21:16 where there's competition you tear each other
21:17 other
21:20 down and oh when a husband and wife want
21:22 to start fighting they got tools to do it
21:24 it
21:35 pouting you can't have any money there
21:36 are several weapons you can use in a
21:38 family if you want to fight
21:41 money words or lack of words the
21:44 children they're great weapons if you
21:45 want to manufacture some juvenile
21:47 delinquents in your home just do this
21:49 mother says hey you can't do that and
21:52 dad says oh yes he can and before long
21:54 the kids say hey we can play both ends
21:56 against the middle in this
21:59 house they're using us to fight each
22:00 other it's one of the worst things you can
22:01 can
22:04 do submission is an opportunity for
22:05 spiritual blessing he's saying to the
22:08 wife you'll never win your husband by
22:11 arguing with him and preaching at him
22:13 when I counsel couples about to be
22:17 married I sometimes ask the
22:20 question is there anything in the other
22:23 person's life you plan to change after
22:25 you get married that's an interesting
22:28 question they kind of look at each other
22:32 if they say yes I say then change it
22:35 before you get married because marriage
22:37 does not create problems marriage reveals
22:39 reveals
22:42 problems you say well I can I can
22:44 straighten him out after we get married
22:46 great do it before you get
22:48 married he's talking here to Christian
22:51 wives who were prone to argue and prone
22:54 to nag may I just say a word as uh one
22:57 who has been a husband for some 25 years nothing
22:58 nothing
23:04 will drive a man out more than nagging
23:06 nagging about I can say because we've
23:08 never done it nagging about money and
23:11 nagging about the color of the kitchen
23:15 and nagging about the now men can nag
23:18 too I know men who nag you know what
23:21 Peter is saying here he is saying to us
23:24 if we are submissive to one another we
23:26 don't need arguments we don't even need
23:30 words our actions our attitudes create
23:33 such an such an atmosphere in the home
23:35 that it's easy for us to get better and
23:37 the wife's attitude and the husband's
23:40 attitude creates such a beautiful
23:42 atmosphere that each one starts growing
23:43 and becoming
23:46 better now submission is not only an
23:48 obligation and an
23:49 opportunity and I'd like to spend the
23:51 rest of my time talking about the
23:53 opportunity how Christian husbands and
23:56 wives can build each other up be a
23:59 spiritual blessing to one another but he
24:02 goes on to say that submission is an
24:04 ornament verses
24:08 3-6 the tragedy back in Peter's Day in
24:11 the Roman Empire was that like today
24:13 many women live for fashion they
24:16 competed with each other in fashion they
24:20 had to have the most outlandish haird
24:22 they had to have the most expensive
24:24 clothing now Peter is not telling us
24:27 that it's wrong to look nice I think one
24:31 of the best ways for a man to be proud
24:33 of his wife and really want to be with
24:36 her is when she takes care of herself
24:39 and she looks nice no reason why a woman
24:42 has to be uncamp or a man for that
24:44 matter what he's saying is don't put the
24:46 emphasis there he's talking not about
24:49 externals but about internals about
24:52 character he's saying just as you want
24:55 the outside to look beautiful work on
24:57 making the inside beautiful work on a
24:59 Meek and a quiet Spirit that's just the
25:02 opposite of nagging work on an inner
25:06 beauty not a glamour not an artificial
25:08 glamour not the kind of beauty you buy
25:10 in a bottle now some folks need all the
25:12 help they can get and I'm not going to
25:15 argue about that we men have a tendency
25:18 sometimes that same way what he's saying
25:22 is develop Christian character
25:25 submission is an obligation God says do
25:27 it submission is an opportunity God can
25:29 work through through you submission is
25:32 an ornament God can work in you and
25:34 wherever you find a wife who's not
25:36 submissive you're going to find an
25:40 angular abrasive kind of a character
25:42 character
25:45 usually the wife who cannot get along
25:46 with her husband can't get along with
25:49 other people usually the husband who
25:51 can't get along with his wife can't get
25:53 along with other
25:55 people he's talking about building
25:58 character the home the Christian home on
26:01 to be such a place where the things that matter
26:03 matter
26:06 most are not prices but
26:09 values what good is a
26:12 $200,000 house filled with a million
26:20 home so he said you better live for the
26:21 things that really
26:24 count the ornament of a Meek and a quiet
26:25 spirit in the sight of God's of great
26:27 price now if God came down to my home or
26:29 your home home and began to put price
26:32 tags on things I wonder what those price
26:33 tags would
26:36 be here's this Shelf full of goodies
26:38 that you are so proud
26:43 of he might put a zero price tag on
26:46 that you see you can't build a home on
26:49 prices a home is built on values you
26:51 can't build it on externals it's built
26:53 on internals it's built on character
26:55 can't build it on
26:58 things the only difference between men
27:00 men and boys is that men buy more expensive
27:02 expensive
27:05 toys and sometimes those expensive toys
27:07 have a way of wrecking a home now we've
27:09 said three things to the wife we've said
27:13 submission is an obligation are you and
27:17 your husband competitors or Partners
27:19 we've said that submission is an
27:21 opportunity are you each changing the
27:24 other for the better can you really say
27:27 I am a better person spiritually because
27:29 of this Mar marriage and thirdly we've
27:33 said that submission is an ornament can
27:36 we honestly say that we are living for
27:39 the things that really count character
27:42 and not things well we must hurry I
27:43 don't want to give you the impression
27:45 the wives need all the preaching because
27:47 we husbands need it too in verse 7 he
27:49 says like men are you
27:51 husbands the husband says all right
27:53 Peter's going to go go to meddling now
27:56 yes he is and the word he uses is consideration
27:58 consideration
28:01 all that he says in in verse 7 is summed
28:03 up in one word
28:06 consideration he said if a wife is to
28:08 have submission a husband must have
28:11 consideration now what is consideration
28:12 it involves three factors
28:15 factors knowledge
28:17 knowledge
28:20 honor and
28:24 prayer if a husband is considerate of
28:26 his wife she has no problem being
28:29 submissive there isn't a Godly Christian
28:32 wife in the world who would not gladly
28:35 submit herself to the protection and the
28:37 provision and the blessing of a husband
28:44 consideration now consideration first of
28:46 all inv involves knowledge in like
28:48 manner ye husbands dwell with them
28:51 according to
28:54 knowledge I read a book once on
28:56 Einstein's theory general theory of
28:58 relativity please please don't ask me
29:00 what it
29:02 said I thought I'd show my friends how
29:06 smart I was I understood I I read the
29:07 book and put it down and said well I'm
29:10 glad that's over with somebody asked Mrs
29:13 Einstein one day Mrs Einstein do you
29:15 understand Dr Einstein's theory of
29:18 relativity she smiled and said no but I
29:23 Einstein that's
29:26 good every once in a while a wife will
29:28 say oh my husband's read so many books
29:31 and done this and done that doesn't make
29:33 any difference you ought to learn all
29:36 you can but you know a wife and a
29:38 husband need to understand each other
29:40 the first factor involved in
29:42 consideration is knowledge you dwell
29:44 with your wife according to
29:46 knowledge I went to get my license
29:48 renewed the other day not my marriage
29:51 license my driver's license they sent me
29:53 that notice that said we want you to
29:54 come down get your picture taken and
29:56 everything and so I went down there and
29:59 watched people I love to watch people
30:01 and went through the written exam just
30:02 like that and they checked my eyes and I
30:04 went through that and I stood in line
30:06 hurry up and wait I was watching people
30:07 I thought to myself you know you go
30:09 through an examination to get a driver's
30:11 license some of the people they took out
30:12 on the
30:16 Range and made them drive and rejected
30:18 them why because you can get an
30:20 automobile and if you don't know how to
30:21 drive and don't know what's involved you
30:23 can kill somebody if they had
30:28 requirements like that for marriage
30:30 I wonder what would happen you can you
30:35 can go down to City Hall and get a
30:38 license go find somebody to marry
30:41 you you're married no
30:45 preparation no training no examination
30:48 it's no wonder nearly half of our homes
30:50 are falling
30:53 apart now I could uh Bluff my way
30:56 through on my U driver's examination
30:58 maybe have an accident catch up with me
31:00 they'd say hey wait a minute man there's
31:02 something wrong with you that doesn't
31:04 happen they I don't I've never heard
31:06 them reclaiming a marriage license of
31:07 course you can't once you're married
31:10 you're married That's the Law of
31:15 God men need
31:17 knowledge I'm not complaining because of
31:19 all the books and tapes that are
31:23 available today I read them I wish I had
31:26 read some of them 30 years
31:29 ago so somebody said to Tim Le one day
31:31 my you've written some wonderful books
31:33 on raising children he said yes I wish
31:41 ago knowledge now what are we supposed
31:43 to know dwell with your wife according
31:46 to knowledge knowledge of how she's put
31:49 together and knowledge of her moods and
31:52 knowledge of her needs and sensitive
31:55 with the extra ear and listening with
31:58 the heart
32:00 now this involves communication you
32:01 can't have knowledge without
32:03 communication do you know that the
32:07 average American married couple spends a
32:11 whole 37 minutes a week talking to each
32:13 other without interruption about
32:15 something other than the children the
32:19 bills in the backyard a whole 37
32:25 marvelous how can a man say I know my
32:26 wife when he doesn't have any time to
32:35 her a year or so ago three pastors
32:38 called me up came in to see me each of
32:40 those three pastors had been through the
32:42 same experience their wives had walked
32:44 out on
32:46 them and I said to each of the men
32:48 weren't there some signals didn't you
32:51 catch any signals and one of them said
32:52 well I I can look back now and see that
32:54 they were there but I was too busy to follow
32:56 follow
33:00 them knowledge and so we husbands have a big
33:02 big
33:05 responsibility knowledge read the word
33:06 of God and find out what a husband's
33:08 supposed to be what he's supposed to do
33:13 and do it when all else fails read the
33:15 instructions which leads me to ask this
33:18 question of husbands and wives do you
33:19 understand each other better today than
33:22 you did a year ago is there
33:25 communication not just on the level of
33:28 things or the level of events is there a
33:31 communication on the level of real
33:34 excuse the term gut level concerns and
33:38 anxieties and
33:40 worries is there an openness and an
33:43 honesty that leads to
33:49 responsibility if he's going to show
33:51 consideration is honor dwell with them
33:53 according to knowledge giving honor unto
33:56 the wife as under the weaker vessel now
33:57 some of the feminists don't like that
33:59 there have been books written showing
34:02 how much stronger and better equipped
34:03 women are for life than
34:05 man maybe
34:09 so but generally speaking the wife is
34:12 looked upon as the weaker now it doesn't
34:14 mean that the husband is strong in
34:16 everything each man has a weakness each
34:19 woman has a weakness or more each of
34:22 them and as I said before the strengths
34:24 of the wife will compensate for the
34:27 weaknesses of the husband and vice versa
34:29 but he's talking here about honor
34:32 respect showing respect to
34:36 her courtesy
34:40 kindness opening the door for her not
34:42 slamming it in her
34:45 face oh what a tragedy it is when a man
34:48 is courting a woman and he can hardly do
34:50 enough kindnesses for her then he gets
34:53 married and he can hardly ignore her
34:56 anymore and he forgets to be a gentleman
34:58 now no woman has has any problems
35:01 submitting to a man who has knowledge he
35:03 knows what he's doing he understands and
35:04 who has
35:07 honor are you taking each other for
35:09 granted that's what Peter is saying
35:11 don't take each other for granted then
35:13 the third factor involved is
35:16 prayer as being HS together of the grace
35:19 of life that your prayers be not
35:23 hindered every married couple has an
35:25 inheritance now some refer this
35:28 primarily to the bearing of children
35:30 because children are an inheritance I go
35:32 much farther than that I believe that
35:34 when God brings a Christian man and a
35:37 Christian woman together and he joins
35:40 them in marriage he has an inheritance
35:44 for them and they are hirs together and
35:47 we are enriched together now he's not
35:49 talking about money
35:52 riches he's talking about the kind of an
35:54 inheritance that you can't measure with
35:55 slide rules and computers and calculators
35:58 calculators
36:00 that spiritual inheritance did you know
36:08 eternity and so there has to be
36:10 prayer now the husband is to be the one
36:14 to lead in this if there's one complaint
36:17 I have heard from Christian wives in
36:20 nearly 30 years of ministry it's this
36:24 pastor I would give anything if my
36:26 husband would only take the lead in
36:29 spiritual things he accuses me of taking
36:32 over and being bossy but I have to do it
36:39 it I can't think of a greater privilege
36:42 than for a young husband new husband new
36:45 wife to join their hands and hearts in
36:49 prayer every day read the word of
36:52 God I can't think of anything more
36:54 wonderful in our home than as the
36:56 children come along teach them how to
36:59 read the word of God and pray the family
37:01 prays together it's a privilege I
37:03 wouldn't want to give that privilege to somebody
37:05 somebody
37:09 else I jealously cherish the privilege
37:11 that I've had over these years of
37:13 gathering our family we read the word of
37:15 God when I've been out of town my wife
37:18 has taken over and done it hasn't upset anything
37:20 anything
37:22 prayer it's amazing how many Christian
37:25 couples do not pray together then they
37:27 wonder why they argue and why they can't
37:29 get get along with the children and why
37:33 things happen in fact U at the end of
37:37 verse 7 Peter dares to say that if our
37:40 home is not right God will not answer
37:44 prayer one of the thermometers for
37:47 measuring the spiritual life of the home
37:49 is answered
37:53 prayer I would rather at my funeral one
37:55 of the children be able to stand up and
37:58 say as we look back over our family we
38:02 see that God answered
38:04 prayer more than anything else he could
38:07 say because answered prayer is the
38:10 thermometer of spiritual life now if a
38:12 husband and wife are not getting along
38:14 with each other they can't
38:17 pray God won't
38:19 answer that's one of the rules of the Christian
38:20 Christian
38:23 home now we've said all of this I'm
38:24 going to wrap it up into a little
38:28 inventory and then we'll be on our way
38:33 are you Partners or
38:37 competitors submission is an
38:41 obligation are we both growing and
38:46 changing for the better submission is an
38:51 opportunity are we living for character
38:54 the things that really count submission
38:57 is an ornament
39:02 do we understand each other better
39:11 knowledge are we taking each other for
39:13 granted consideration involves
39:20 honor is God answering our
39:24 prayers consideration involves prayer in
39:26 other words these seven verses become
39:28 somewhat of a spiritual inventory for the
39:29 the [Music]
39:30 [Music]
39:34 home I recall some time ago a folder
39:36 came to our home through the mail one of
39:39 these occupant things and it was from
39:41 the fire department during National Fire
39:45 Prevention Week and it said there are X
39:49 number of Home Fires every day here take
39:52 an inventory of your home and here it
39:54 said about your outlets and your inlets
39:57 and this and that
39:59 I thought to myself that's a good thing
40:00 be terrible to have your house burned
40:02 down around you especially while you're in
40:03 in
40:06 it I thought to myself I wonder what
40:07 would happen if every year the church
40:12 mailed out an inventory to
40:14 homes and said husband and wife would
40:16 you sit down just take this inventory
40:18 half of the people who got it would be
40:20 angry you keep your hands off our home
40:22 but you know when they've got problems
40:23 you know where they run for help the church
40:29 there are times when I have to really
40:32 pray for patience not to say things that
40:35 I know I shouldn't say here's some
40:36 couple or here's some family they
40:38 haven't got time to come to church kids
40:40 can't go to Camp they won't go to Sunday
40:42 school then they have trouble and they
40:43 come to the preacher and I feel like
40:46 saying hey where you been for the last
40:48 year you can't say that that's
40:51 mean be good to take an inventory of our
40:54 homes and husband and wife say
40:57 uh are we Partners or competitors
41:00 is there
41:03 submission are we growing in character and
41:05 and
41:08 spirituality are we depending on things
41:10 externals do we have to have a lot of
41:14 gadgets and toys to keep our home happy
41:17 or is there the development of Christian
41:20 character do we understand each other
41:22 better than ever
41:27 before do we take each other for granted
41:33 prayers that's what a Christian home is
41:37 all about it's not complicated it's not
41:38 even difficult it's simple
41:41 simple
41:43 submission consideration both of which
41:53 Love who does this for us
41:57 Jesus by Nature I don't want to submit
41:59 by Nature I want to fight I was born
42:02 that way then Jesus comes into your
42:04 heart and he changes you
42:08 from that pugnacious attitude of
42:10 rebellion and vindictiveness to a
42:13 submissive attitude to
42:15 him who's the one who gives us love
42:18 Jesus what he's saying simply here is
42:20 here's a wife who submitted to Jesus
42:22 here's a husband submitted to Jesus and
42:24 the love of Christ flows through the
42:26 both of them and there's submission and
42:29 consider ation and out of this comes an
42:31 atmosphere that leads to growth and
42:33 honesty and openness and understanding and
42:35 and
42:37 tenderness and your home becomes a
42:38 heaven on
42:41 Earth Mr Spurgeon said our homes should
42:43 be so Heavenly that if the Angels were
42:45 to visit us they would not know that
42:53 home heavenly
42:56 father I pray that something that you
42:59 have said to us tonight will result in
43:01 our being Holier and
43:03 happier and more
43:06 useful in our
43:08 homes thank you Father for those you
43:11 have given to us who are a part of our
43:13 family whom we
43:16 love I pray that you'll help us to
43:19 measure up to all that you've had to say to
43:20 to
43:23 us and I pray father that because of
43:25 this our children will grow to love you
43:27 and to serve you
43:30 that they will bring great honor to your
43:33 name pray for our singles who are here
43:35 how thankful we are for them some of
43:36 them you have
43:39 chosen always to have a life of
43:41 singleness this is their life and their
43:44 Ministry now bless them in it and help
43:46 them to be a blessing in the
43:50 homes where they'll Minister some will
43:52 be getting married I pray you'll help
43:54 them to get married on the right
43:56 foundations pray for those Lord who have
43:59 been married for some years who have
44:01 problems help them in facing and solving
44:04 them help us as
44:07 men to have consideration Deliver Us
44:10 from selfishness from
44:13 exploiting help our wives to have
44:15 submission and may we be the kind of [Music]
44:17 [Music]
44:21 husbands that they find no difficulty
44:22 but only
44:25 Delight in submitting and may their
44:28 submitting result in their growing their
44:30 happiness their freedom their
44:34 fulfillment and not in their
44:37 exploiting do it for jesus' sake I pray
44:39 in his
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