Today I turned 50 and in this episode I'm going to share with you the 15 most powerful lessons I've
learned in 50 years. That's how long I've been on this earth. And for most of that time I was
losing the battle. I was broke. I had two homes in foreclosure. I was struggling with addiction,
single for over a decade, spiritually disconnected. And yet here I am today.
I built a $40 million transformational company. I'm married to the woman of my dreams. I live in
my dream home. I overcame addiction. And I have a personal relationship with a higher power that
guides everything I do. So, what changed? I'm going to share with you the 15 most powerful
lessons I've learned. Not abstract fluff, not hallmark wisdom, but hard one truths that pulled
me out of a thank God it's Friday life to a life I actually love living. If you're feeling stuck,
uncertain, overwhelmed, or financially stretched, these 15 principles might just rewire everything.
Principle number one, your life is a masterpiece. It's a tapestry woven from all different kinds of
pieces. The good, the bad, and the ugly. But what's important to understand here is that
the challenges that you've overcome have helped you become who you are and have set you up for a
destiny that is worthy of a masterpiece life. I believe every single person has greatness inside
of them. And often times we use the challenges that we've had as explanations for why we're
stuck in our life today. But the truth is they are the catalyst for who we are becoming. No matter
where you are today or how long you've been struggling with financial insecurity or your
health challenges or feeling lost and confused or being alone or single, that can change in an
instant. Your life is designed as a masterpiece. Every single person I know who has achieved some
level of greatness, some level of success, some level of genius expression in the world went
through the same challenges that you're going through. Those challenges are not a reason for
why you're stuck. there a reason for why you will live a masterpiece life. Principle number two,
you're one decision away from what you want. And I'm not talking about your decisions to do things.
I'm talking about your decisions about things. Most people live in financial insecurity because
they've made a decision that money is scarce or hard to make. When you shift that decision, your
reality changes. People are living a life based on the decisions about life that they've had in
the past, that they're not good enough, that they don't matter, that they can't trust people, that
they have to control everything around them to be safe. And that becomes your reality. Thoughts
become things and you are creating your reality. And so if you want your reality to change,
you have to make a new decision. I was single for over a decade. And then one year towards the
end of the year when I was making my New Year's resolutions, I made a decision that I didn't know
how. I didn't know when, but I was going to meet a beautiful Colombian woman and make her my wife.
And through a series of crazy synchronicities over the next two weeks, I ended up in a city where
I didn't live with people I normally didn't hang out with who connected me to Carol Gutierrez Bear,
the woman that I'm married to today, a beautiful Colombian woman that I made my wife. One decision
can alter the course of your life. But if you continue to react to your current circumstances,
thinking the thoughts you have about your reality as it is today, that things never work out,
that you have to work really hard in order to just get by, that becomes your reality,
and you get stuck in a groundhog day type of existence, living the same day over and over
and over again. But if you're willing to make a new decision in the midst of your current reality,
everything can change. And this is backed by neuroscience. The moment you make a new decision,
you start to have different thoughts and ideas. The moment you make a new decision about your
health, about money, about relationships, about yourself. You start to actually change the things
that you notice in your reality, there's a part of the brain that's filtering out most of your
reality, and it hones in on what it is that you've decided or you believe. And the moment you make a
new decision, all of life begins to conspire to bring that decision into your material reality.
Coincidences, synchronicities, rendevous begin to occur. The moment you make a decision, you're
one decision away from what you want. Principle number three, there was never any reason to worry.
If I could actually go back in a hot tub time machine and tell my younger self something,
it would probably be this. Hey, don't worry. It's all going to work out. And you know what's really
wild? You can look at your own life right now and look at the things that you were worrying
about and see that some way somehow they resolve themselves and you made it through it. And yet
you'll still choose to worry today about the same types of things. And I get it because
worry is a habit. It's one of the most ingrained habits that we have because it's built into the
nervous system in order to help us survive. We're looking for threats, but the truth is the threats
rarely if ever materialize themselves. And so, if I could go back in time, I would tell myself
to just relax. Don't stress. It's all going to work out. Because the truth is it will. And our
joy becomes stolen by the worry that inserts itself in the experiences of our life. A vast
majority of my life I didn't enjoy. and I still produced the results that I wanted or got through
those challenging times despite my worry. So why not enjoy the ride as it's unfolding, there was
never any reason to worry in the first place. Principle number four, your greatest weakness
is your greatest superpower. I remember when my parents went on their first vacation when I was a
little kid. I was 7 years old. They went to Hawaii for a week and the babysitter was taking care of
me and I was worrying that my parents were never going to come back. And in her unenlightened way,
she shamed me by saying, "You're such a little worry wart." That always stuck with me. And I
always beat myself up for being a worrier until I realized that worry is just a form of rumination.
It's a type of deep thinking. And who I am today is a result of my natural capacity to take complex
concepts and really think about them in a deep way and be able to break them down into simple
concepts and explain them to other people. you know, the business that I built as a result of
my fascination and rumination with how I could build a transformational company at scale in order
to help end human suffering and to help as many people as possible. So, there's something that
you experience in your life right now, an aspect of your character that you may look at and be
judging as a character flaw. But what I'm telling you is is that's the seed of your superpower. As
you go through your own hero's journey and the journey of your life and as you mature and as
you grow and learn and as you commit yourself to transforming yourself and transforming your mind,
that weakness will transform into your greatest superpower. Principle number five,
you chose your parents. So for a long time, I blamed my parents for the way that I was.
I blamed my mom for making me a worrier because she was a worrier. I blamed my dad for me feeling
like I wasn't good enough because of the way that I experienced my father growing up. But the truth
is is that I chose my parents. I believe that we come into this life having learned from previous
lives in deciding what it is that we want to learn and grow and expand into in this life.
And in that we choose our parents. Your parents were meant to install programs, the wounds or
the traumas into you because one of the purposes of your life is to transform that trauma into who
you're meant to become. We only become the light because we experience the shadow. We only become
good because we experience bad. We only become confident and faithful because we experience worry
and doubt. And so part of the process of this life is choosing your parents knowing in advance that
they're going to be installing some programs into you that your life purpose is to transform. And
so often we blame our parents for who they were for us. But in fact, if you look at it, often
times our parents carry their own wounds that they passed on to us. And before they leave this life,
often times they never let go of those wounds. They never transform those wounds. They came in
as soldiers of transformation, carrying their own burdens and pushing those burdens onto us so that
we in this lifetime could unlock the power of those burdens and step into our greatness. Now,
sometimes that's a hard pill to swallow when we experience abandonment or physical or sexual
abuse. I'm not saying that we don't wish that these things hadn't occurred. I'm just saying
that they did and you chose these things so that you could transform the burden into a gift and
be that gift for the rest of humanity. Principle number six, all suffering is caused by your own
thinking. When I was studying in India, this is one of my biggest takeaways that I received
that the suffering that I experienced in my life, forget about some of the suffering that you see
out there. But the suffering that you experience in your own life, the stress, the anxiety,
the overwhelm. I don't mean the physical pain. I mean the emotional and psychological suffering
is a result of one thing and one thing only, and that is your own thinking. And when you really get
clear on this, that it's not that I lost my job that is invoking my suffering, but it's my fear
that I'm not going to be able to pay my mortgage at the end of the month and survive. It's my own
thinking about losing my job. It's not that I don't have a a partner in life or a soulmate
yet. It's the belief that I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life that is causing me my
pain and suffering. It's not the amount of money in my bank account. It's my belief that I'm never
going to be able to have financial abundance and prosperity that's causing my personal suffering.
You start to realize that all suffering is a self-inflicted wound. And you have the capacity
within you to transform your suffering into a powerful state by changing your own thinking.
We are not victims of our external circumstances. We're actually victims of our own mind. But that's
something that we can control. All suffering is caused by your own thinking. Change your thoughts
and you can transform your emotional experience of life. Principle number seven, community overcomes
challenges. This is something that I learned in my addiction recovery. If you want to create anything
great in your life or if you want to overcome any challenge, it is not a do-it-yourself project. It
is a do it with others. And the reason for this is because in order to transform a problem into
a solution, it requires energy. Energy transforms problems into solutions. And that energy comes
from connectivity with other human beings. When you align yourself with other people who you have
genuine authentic relationships with, it creates a power within the nucleus of your own life,
you start to bring in resources, thoughts, ideas, support that allow you to transform
any circumstance or situation. I could have never gotten sober in my recovery program without other
people. I could have never become successful as an entrepreneur without other people. I could have
never become the person that I've become, the husband that I've become, the father that I've
become without other people. And unfortunately, there's this idea oftentimes that we learn from
our parents as we're growing up that we need to do it on our own. That asking for help is a weakness.
But that's not actually true. Asking for help is a strength because not only does it support you,
but it gives other people the opportunity to be in service and we start to connect as one human
family. Community overcomes challenges. Principle number eight, authenticity unlocks greatness. I
had the opportunity to speak at an event with somebody who I admired, another speaker, the
Reverend TD Jakes. And as I was able to connect with him in the green room before I went on stage,
I was letting him know that I really appreciated him and I appreciated that when I was in my
darkest times, I listened to his videos and his voice lifted me up and I shared with him
my experience struggling in addiction recovery, struggling financially, being alone for as long as
I was. He actually got out on stage and said, "I met an extraordinary man back there and he's going
to come out here and share his greatness with you." And the reason why he's so extraordinary and
the reason why he's been so successful is because he doesn't throw his stars, he throws his scars.
He said, "When you are authentic and you allow people to see you, they see themselves." Hey,
it's David. Quick interruption to your regularly scheduled podcast episode. I want to let you
know about an opportunity to go even deeper into this work together. If you have not yet,
please check out the show notes. In there, we've got links to both our mind hack and our whole
human framework programs. Our mind hack course is an incredible framework. It's the foundation
of everything that I teach on this show to help you understand how to become deeply aware of the
subconscious programs that are holding you back and to teach you the technologies and frameworks
to allow you to dramatically transform those belief systems and rewire your brain. Again,
the Mind Hack program is our 7-day self-paced program. We also have our 12week course,
the whole human framework. And we've got both of them right now bundled in a special offer for
those of you who want to go big, want to go fast, and who understand that you don't want to put off
another day of your full potential or holding on to unnecessary stress, anxiety, or suffering,
but you want to be liberated from these habits of thinking and have a powerful living experience.
Check out the link in the show notes. Jump on over to the website. Take a look at the programs and
the extraordinary success stories of entrepreneurs just like you who have gone through these courses
and I will see you on the other side. And now back to your regularly scheduled podcast episode.
And in today's world, there are so many people, especially in the influencer, YouTube, Instagram,
celebrity universe, who present a perfect picture that we can never actually accomplish. And that is
a vulnerability because then we're not actually being ourselves. Authenticity allows people to
connect with you. One of the top two things that I hear on this show is that people love me not only
for my ability to distill complex concepts into simple frameworks they can integrate,
but because of my authenticity. Authenticity unlocks your greatness. And not being you requires
so much energy to hold it all together, to be able to put that fake facade in place. and it becomes
draining and not sustainable over time. So the beauty of it is is when you're being yourself,
it's easy. It's relaxed. It doesn't require a lot of energy, but it's actually what attracts
and magnetizes people to you. Principle number nine, you are important. You are an essential
perspective of God or infinite intelligence in the world. Right now there are about 7 billion
perspectives. Every single one is important. Every person is connecting and interacting with
all other people in this incredible super oranism that coordinates the advancement of civilization
and humanity. You're here for a purpose. And you may not know what that is right now, but that will
become clear to you over time. And that clarity accelerates when you can acknowledge that you are
important. You are important. No matter where you are in your life right now, no matter what you've
accomplished or what you're struggling with, you're an essential part of the human family.
And it's important for you to acknowledge this, that you are good enough, that you do matter, that
you are important. I remember those times where I was living in depression and living in anxiety
and feeling like, why did it even matter that I was here? And if I had given up then, I wouldn't
be living the life that I'm living now. And if I didn't live the life that I'm living now, I
wouldn't be able to impact so many people who have expressed that their lives have been changed by
my work. And so, don't judge yourself based on the chapter that you're in right now. Know that you're
on your hero's journey and just decide that you are important and in what way you are important
will become clear to you over time. Principle number 10, what you make matter matters. This was
something one of my mentors taught me. She said, "Thoughts are things and they're creating your
reality. And what you put your focus and attention on and how you put your focus and attention on it
becomes reality." And this beautiful statement that she made was an articulation of how physics
works. If you focus on the things that you want, they will materialize into your life. If you focus
on your problems, those things will materialize as well, too. What you make matter matters. There
was a book written on this called Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. It's the number
one best-selling success and wealth book in the history of the world. And Napoleon studied the
most successful people in the world at that time. And he came up with 13 observations of the things
that they did. But the central tenant was that they created their own reality. That what they
thought became reality. What you make matter becomes matter. Principle number 11. Everything
you want is already on the way. Whatever your dreams are, those aren't hallucinations or simple
imaginations. That's you tuning into a potential that exists right now in what would be referred
to as the fourth dimension or the quantum field or the aosic record. the ideas you have, the vision
that you have is actually something that already exists. And by tuning into it, that activates that
potential in the field. And that potential starts to make its way into your reality. What's required
here is to be patient. But it's important to understand that the dreams you have, the
vision you have, the imagination you have is not something that you're making up. It's something
that already exists that you're tuning into. And so with a little bit of effort on a day-to-day
basis, one day at a time, and holding that faith and vision, everything you want will materialize
because everything that you want is actually already on the way. Principle number 12. When
nothing's working, try doing nothing. This was a principle that I learned from a guy named Frank
Kinslow who wrote a little book and the title of the book is exactly that. When nothing's working,
try doing nothing. There are times in our life where we experience a problem and we try to attack
the problem and the problem just gets bigger. And the reason for that is as Einstein said,
we can't solve a problem with the same frequency that created it. When you're trying to attack a
problem, you're in the problem frequency. And so often times we have to step away from a problem
and that's how the problem resolves itself. This is very counterintuitive, particularly in high
performance in entrepreneurship where we're told in order to solve a problem just work harder,
wake up earlier, hustle and grind more. But when problems show up in my life and I'm not able to
solve them, I step away from the problem. I go back to the solution frequency. Well, what is
solution? Well, it's the things that you love in your life. Because at one point in time, those
things were not there and that was a problem. But you overcame that problem. And so now you live in
nature. Now you have a bathtub. Now you have the money to buy a coffee. Now you have some friends.
Go do those things. Be in the frequency of the solution and watch how the problem transforms.
You'll have a new thought or a new idea to approach the problem differently from the
frequency of solution. Often times we step away from the problem and the problem resolves itself.
So when nothing's working, do nothing. Principle number 13. God wants a personal relationship with
you. I did not grow up in a religious family. My mom was Christian. My father was Jewish. We didn't
go to church or temple. We celebrated all of the commercial holidays, Christmas, Easter, Passover,
Hanukkah. But we weren't a religious family. I didn't grow up in a relationship with God.
I found God in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. In my 12step program, I built a relationship with
a higher power of my own understanding. I found that that personal relationship is very important.
In fact, I prayed for that personal relationship. For a long time, I understood the concept of God,
but I wanted to feel like I was with God. I wanted to feel the relationship with God that I never got
with my father because I wanted to have a divine father. I wanted the type of relationship that
that little shepherd boy, David, had when he stood up in front of Goliath with full faith
and conviction and said, "Today will be my victory, not yours." And I've shared this in
other episodes. More recently, over the last year, I started praying for a personal relationship with
God. And through a series of synchronicities, I was brought to a morning routine where I write
to God on a daily basis. Not every single day, but I get up and I write a love letter to my
heavenly father. The kind of relationship again that I wanted to have with my dad that I never
got. And it's been really helpful now having my son Gabriel. He's three years old because some
mornings when he wakes up and I wake up with him, he wants nothing to do with his baba. He wants to
play with his toys. He wants to see his mommy. and he'll tell me, "No, Baba, I don't want you,
Baba." And it just brought to my awareness that that must be how God feels when he's waiting every
single morning to have a relationship with us and we say, "No, Baba, I'm too busy with work. No,
Baba, I'm too busy with worry." And so, I decided that I wanted to have a personal relationship with
God. And the beautiful thing about life is that when you ask, you receive. And it's important
for me because there are always times when my mind will not get me through a circumstance or
a situation. And I have to surrender it to a power greater than myself. There are things that I can
control and things I can't control. And I have to be able to turn those things over to someone
or something that I trust will resolve them. And I get that in my personal relationship with God.
Principle number 14. There's no doing it perfect. So I still get anxious. I still worry. I still
move into suffering. And I still say things that I shouldn't that I regret saying. But the point
of life is not to be perfect. I like how the great teacher Abraham Hicks says, "You never get it all
done." We're continuing to learn and refine and grow and evolve as human beings. We're continuing
to discover new character flaws or ways of being that we would like to work on and improve as a
person. I think that's a big part of the journey of life. And so, it's important to not move into
self-judgment because there's no doing it perfect. And there's no need in order to do it perfect if
you want to change your life. There's a passage in scripture that says, "All you need is the faith of
a mustard seed." Small changes in your mindset, small changes in behavior, and small shifts in
daily action can move mountains. And so, if you want to have a more abundant life, if you want
to have a healthier life, if you want to have a more connected and clarified and spiritual life,
it's not that far away. It just requires small shifts in the way that you're doing things and not
putting the pressure of perfection on yourself. Principle number 15, there is no force more
powerful than a changed mind. So if you want to change your circumstance or situation, it's not
about trying to control your external environment. It's about looking at the thoughts that you're
having and changing them. You know, your beliefs are dictating your destiny. You really are
creating your reality. And so oftentimes people say to me, "Well, if what I believe is creating
my reality, how do I become aware of the beliefs that are creating it that I'm not aware of?" And
my answer is always the same. Pay attention to the reaction you have to the problems in your life.
The thoughts that you have about the things that you don't like, these aren't a reaction to your
circumstances or situation. They're actually the thoughts and beliefs that you've been having and
holding for a very long time that are creating the challenges in your life. Change those thoughts and
you change your reality. So, I hope you love this episode as much as I loved sharing it with you. Do
me a favor, pay it forward, share it with someone if you haven't yet commented, leave me a rating
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We like to provide all this incredible content for you and the way that we receive a thank you
is through your subscription and it's the way we grow this channel. I love you so much and I look
forward to seeing you in the next episode. Hey, it's David. Hop on over to davidbear.com. Click
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