There's a concerning modern tendency to avoid struggle, failure, and the "toil" of learning new skills or engaging in challenging tasks, opting instead for convenient, superficial, or counterfeit experiences, which ultimately hinders personal growth and self-discovery.
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There is a tendency that I'm seeing more
often uh in my work as a counselor. It's
it's concerning. It's this tendency uh
of having a very very little tolerance
for how long people are willing to suck
at something. You know, a very low
tolerance for how long they're willing
to kind of struggle and toil and fail in
their attempt to attain a certain goal.
So, I make this video because
it's it's such a concerning
uh predicament because I want to talk
about what I think they're losing when
they forgo that experience of the toil
and and struggle and failure, but also
too I want to talk about why I think
it's so easy to perpetuate and why I so
fully understand and empathize with
where they're coming from. Um, so first
let's start there like looking at
looking at this situation like trying to
picture myself as a 15-year-old or
something being told, "Hey, read
Catcher in the Rye and I want you to
write this five paragraph essay on it."
I certainly can understand being like,
"Uh, no guy. Why do I want to sit there
and read this book, Words on a Page,
boring the piss out of me, and then try
to sit here in front of a blank page,
and write five pages worth of of
material about what I thought on it?
Yeah, kick rocks. Catchy BTS got me. AI
exists. Get away from me. I get it. I
understand where they're coming from,
right? Same thing with sports. like, why
would I want to join this team?
Everybody else is already close-knit.
They're friends. They've been on this
team for two years. They're looking at
me like, "Who's this guy?" And and I
suck. I'm throwing the ball like an
absolute idiot. And everybody's looking
at me and I don't like how this makes me
feel. Why would I do this when I could
just go play video games? This is much
more fun. Why am I going to go talk to
that girl and try to get a girlfriend
when I've got a simulated version of
that right here in my pocket? And
that'll take care of what I'm looking
for, at least for now. at least for this
moment. And that's kind of the issue. We
are sacrificing a piece of oursel on the
altar of convenience every time we take
the counterfeit version. Right? I'm
going to take counterfeit version. I'm
going to take counterfeit version.
That's going to satiate this feeling
right now.
And there's a major issue with that
because we're not even realizing uh that
we're on a steady diet of this
counterfeit because we don't
have enough time away from our phones in
general to have intentionality to have
deep insightful thought in our own lives
pers you know um contemplating what am I
doing am I is this how I want to do
things not having any perspective on
ourselves or our lives because we're
just in it piece by piece moment by
Um, and so that's kind of the why I'm
saying I understand why this is so
concerning. And social media exacerbates
and kind of facilitates this environment
of the perceived of the aesthetic of
just do the surface level. Just shine
that surface. Just make it presentable.
Boom. Just fix it. Quick fix. All about
the looks.
That is why I get the concern and I
empathize with it. But I don't think we
put so much thought into how deeply uh
detrimental it is to us. I don't have a
good word for or understanding of
exactly what it is we're leaving behind.
Maybe you do. What we're leaving behind
when we forgo that that that time of
toil and struggle.
But it's like
when you read that book and you're bored
and you don't know if you can get to it,
you're learning something about
discipline and how you how you push
yourself and what does motivate you and
what do you really want out of this
life? And then you're sitting there with
the blank page and you're thinking about
the book and you're actually being
honest and earnest in your attempt to to
pull something from who you are and what
you understand, what you make of this
place and the words uh that were written
on the page and you're kind of coming up
with something brand new with the
synergy of those two those two concepts
and you're making something new all your
own your fresh own ideas on the page.
There's something so beautiful and
transcendent and
improving about that that they're just
leaving on the table.
It's like there's this whole garden in
you that can grow and you can be this
incredibly enriched person, but the
soil, the enriched soil that is needed
for that kind of internal garden only
comes from that time under tension. It
only comes from being the new guy in the
boxing gym who doesn't know how to throw
a punch and is embarrassed as the guy
next to him makes the bag sound like
it's a war zone. You know what I mean?
There's something in that that you
learn. And I don't mean just, oh, I'm
learning the skill of boxing and now I'm
a better boxer. I mean, why am I
insecure? Oh, I'm learning about
brotherhood. I'm learning about
camaraderie. There's these internal
things that will happen to you. these
these things that will happen to you
uh that pull on all of these existential
questions left, right, and center, and
you're going to go, "Wow, I know myself
so much better." But what in the world
is AI going to teach you about yourself?
What in the world is the video game
going to teach you about yourself? Maybe
that one has a little bit more merit
than I'm giving. I'm not a video game
person, but there's probably more merits
in the video games. But
the videos on your phone, what is that
going to help you with? What's it going
to give you? Like,
you know, that's that's true here. I
don't know. I don't think a whole lot.
I don't think a whole lot. And I I worry
about that tendency for kids, younger
individuals, and even older individuals,
even myself, to just give up more
of who we could be,
uh, and just handing it over to convenience.
convenience.
for the perception, for the aesthetic,
for the sheen on top to just get us to
the next hit.
I guess that's just a life dictated by
dopamine or something, you know? And
it's not a life I want to live. So,
I I'm trying to break out of it for
myself and do more that pushes me out of
my comfort zone, that teaches me more
about myself. I don't do enough of it.
And I'm trying to help with these
clients to understand the the benefit of
of that toil.
Anyway, what what do you guys think
about that? And what are we leaving
behind when we say I'm just going to hit
the convenient button? That was easy.
You know, what what are we giving up? Curious.
Curious.
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