This content depicts a chaotic and darkly humorous prison conversation where an inmate, Darren, attempts to extort his son, Day Day, for money and contraband to settle a gambling debt, while also confronting his wife, Trina, about the paternity of their "white" baby.
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TRINA: Say, "Hi, Daddy!" Say, "Hi, Daddy!"
Hi, Daddy.
Whose goddamn white baby is that?
This is your baby, okay? He's just light skinned. Mmm-hmm.
That one might be mine.
That one right there, I'm not totally sure.
Just because you named him Darren
don't mean he belongs to Darren.
But I don't care what this baby's name is,
this baby is rice skinned but not light skinned.
That is a white child.
That is Caucasian from the mountains of Caucasus.
That is a Slavic baby, a Viking from Iceland.
That baby got 730 as a credit rating
right now as an infant.
You the only one I've been with, Darren.
Bitch, let me explain to you the math.
I've been in here 16 consecutive years.
You know how long "consecutive" is, don't you?
Okay, so, it means one right after the motherfucking other.
'Cause I ain't never missed a day.
So clearly you've been having some conjugal visits
with some other motherfuckers other than me.
That's not my baby.
That's almost a grown white man you've brought in here.
His glasses are certainly grown.
I've never seen a baby with that type of prescription.
And why does that baby look like Officer Joshua?
Bitch, you've been fucking the guard?
TRINA: Ew! Nuh-uh!
Hey, Darren, stop talking to my mom like that, man. Be respectful.
You're absolutely right. I apologize for that.
It's just that this bitch... DAY DAY: Damn it. There you go again.
Your mother was misbehaving.
Sorry, I should've set a better example in front of
the nice white gentleman and your mother.
All right, so, could I please speak to my black son privately, please?
Would that be okay with you, Trina? Mmm-hmm.
I mean you no disrespect, sir.
Hope to work for you one day when I get out.
Come on, baby.
Raggedy head...
You have to excuse me, son. This is my first white baby.
What's up, man?
I'm in a jam.
What? Uh...
There was a gambling incident and I need, like,
13,000 cigarettes,
preferably 6,000
of those non-menthol
and then like 5,000 pineapple fruit cups.
That's worth about $2,000
on the open street market.
If you can handle that for me,
I'd appreciate it.
Darren, what are you talking about?
Well, see, what had happened was...
Wait, you're gonna do a flashback within a flashback?
Nigga, you know you can't do that.
Nigga, I'm a criminal.
That's what I do, what I'm not supposed to do.
So, now.
What had happened was...
No Mexican has ever beat me in Dominoes. Ever.
But one day the cash was on the line,
I had been sipping that lean and he caught me slipping.
(ROARS)
What's this got to do with me? This is your problem.
Uh, I didn't have the money,
and in lieu of the money, (CLEARS THROAT)
I told Junior and his crew that I had a rich son
in a famous rap group, and I'm sure a little funky $2,000
don't mean nothing when he's clocking all the dollars out there,
Mr. Major Buckety Bucks.
What? Man, we ain't signed yet. I ain't got no money.
All right, well, let's not be a Gloomy Gus.
Okay, if you didn't learn nothing from your white brother, learn
always look on the bright side of life.
But you still haven't given him any money?
No, I gave him an orange this morning.
But they're already trying to make me make small booty payments
and I only got a small booty to work with.
(VOICE BREAKING) Look here, man, um, I only got one booty hole.
You understand what I'm saying?
They don't take debit or credit or nothing in here, it's just hole. Okay?
I've been holding onto it for 16 years.
I don't see no reason to let it go now
over a few little pineapple fruit cups and some cigarettes.
Speaking of which, I need you to do me a favor.
(COUGHS) (POPPING SOUND)
You think you can listen to these for me?
That's disgusting, man. Where'd you pull that out from?
Oh, from my Louis Vuitton prison bag.
Nigga, what do you think? I pulled them out of my ass.
You ain't got to smell it. Just listen to it.
I know. I know. It's time.
Look, I only got a few seconds
before they snatch me up out of here 'cause I'm a gangster!
But look, I need you to save my sphincter.
You gonna embarrass me in front of that white man's child,
you better lock me down!
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